History Summarized: Alcibiades
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ม.ค. 2016
- The oracle at delphi simply tells him, "congratulations". The standard of nudity was his idea. Narcissus gets shy around him. Patroclus was his boyfriend first. He is… the most interesting man in Ancient Greece.
Extra special thanks to Blue's professor , Mr. Samons, who taught him about Greek history and the comedic potential of marshmallows and triremes.
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The best part is Alcibiades was apparently good friends with Socrates, and there are not one, but SEVERAL paintings of Socrates straight-up dragging Alcibiades away from beds covered in women, which is, like, the most cartoonishly appropriate way I can imagine to sum up the relationship these two must have had.
Socrates wondered if being beautiful on the outside also meant having potential beauty on the inside, so he was always working to make Alcibiates a better person (less selfish, less sex-crazy, etc).
@@ethnichellenismincaliforni8215 he was that reluctant 'slightly naive' friend who keeps hoping they're 'bad influence' friend will change? lol
Alcibiades: So Imma go bang that literal army of very horny women/men
Socrates: Hoe don't do it
I was about to write my own comment when I saw this. I had to look it up.
It’s true.
And *GLORIOUS*
A:” I did a stupid.”
S: “give me a second.”
S:(Finishes a jag of wine)
S:... “Ok, I’m good. Whaddya do?”
This is what happens when your D&D character has 20 Charisma and 8 Wisdom.
exactly!
So, a bard
So- A bard?
I agree with the people above me-this is just a bard in a nutshell
Huh? I thought Alkibiades was a smartass that's why he's friendsies with Sokrates and other important politicians. He's a decent war general too. But his sex craziness is legendary.
You skipped over one of the greatest Alcibiades stories ever,
As follows:
*Alcibiades with his friends*
Alcibiades: "Yo, guys, see that really rich, powerful, and important dude over there, Hipponicus? Bet that I can go and slap him across the head and get away with it?"
Alcibiades' friends: "Yeah right dude, friggin dare you to pull that crap, we'll see what happens"
Alcibiades: "Oh you'll see alright"
*And so he goes and slaps this influential politician across the head*
Everyone in the city: "Yo Alcibiades WHAT THE FUCK?"
*One day later*
*Alcibiades at the door of Hipponicus' house in a bathrobe*
Hipponicus: "What the hell do you want Alcibiades"
Alcibiades: "Well I felt really bad about the other day and wanted to make up for it"
*Alcibiades completely disrobes, presenting his naked body to the man*
Alcibiades: "Here, chastise me and make fun of me and stuff and we'll call it even"
*Hipponicus, in complete awe of Alcibiades' no doubt jaw dropping figure immediately forgets any and all anger and resentment towards Alcibiades and publicly pardons him, and nearly immediately after give Alcibiades his daughter's hand in marriage*
As a fun side scene, here's how I imagine that convo went:
"But daaaad I don't want to marry him"
"Sweetheart, if you saw his ass and abs believe me you'd be on board, trust me on this one, you'll thank me later"
I’m sorry, what!
“Trust me sweety, you do”
He is quite possibly the only historical figure who could get away with this
Can you point me to a source that talks about that? I can't find anything about it
The irony of Alcibiades is that everyone listened to him when no one should have, and no one listened to him when everyone should have.
Sometimes my brain cannot digest the fact that these are actual people that actually existed in history. If someone told me this out of the blue, I would absolutely think that they are messing around with me.
Out of the _BLUE_
Ok funny story: I told my friend about Alcibiades, basically paraphrasing the video, and he totally thought I was BSing him. He just refused to believe someone like that really existed in history.
Alcibaides puts several myths to shame eh
I am reading this webcomic containing him, and I genuinely thought he was a fictional character until this video.
@@ToonedMinecraft What's the webcomic
What I got from this video: Blue has a crush on Henry Cavill
Oof
Doesn’t everyone?
Same. But can you blame him tho?
Bruh I'm straight but I'd bang Cavill
So Geoge Coolney and Cris Evans are painting to you?
Didn't the Ancient Greeks think beauty meant the person was blessed by the gods? That might explain a great deal.
Miri Libra Yeah there was a story where a woman undressed in court as her defence. She was like "How could I be a bad person if the gods made me so beautiful?" The people were like "She has a point..." and she was set free.
Wasn't the story that she wiped her breasts out and basically said: "sure, you can execute me, but the world would lose these" and the all male court just said, "well, we can't have that. Let's keep her around..."
It was Aphrodite,Adonis and Eros that beautiful people were considered to be blessed by.
@@Simon39759 yeah. don't remember her name, but she was an athenian doctor and that was her defense: executing her would be destroying beauty
@@Casandraelf the name of was phyrne, and she also offered to rebuild the the walls of thebes if she could put her name on them
Going through AC Oydessy right now. Every time I get a quest from Alcibiades, I have a tendency to mutter "you got it, Alcibiades" to absolutely nobody in particular.
Nicias "hey, I think that's not a great Idea Alcibiades, maybe we-"
Alcibiades "oh, I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the DEAFENING SOUND OF MY OWN AWESOMENESS!"
"Zeus dammit Alcibiades, what is wrong with you?
"Me nothing, you on the other hand, have an arrow in you!"
@@sflaningam7680 "What are you talki- _ahh!_ "
Do you want ants in this ship? BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GET ANTS!!!
“LISTEN UP, 5’S! A 10 IS TALKING!”
“Alcibiades, I know you can hear me-“
“EXCUSE ME, I DON’T SPEAK UNATTRACTIVE!”
He's so convincing that he convinces history to look at him in a positive light because he's the worst traitor ever and everybody's like he's a genius *clap* *clap* We love him! 😂
Are we SURE he wasn’t gifted divine likeability?
Jessie pink man-icus: “HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!!!”
He's a genius in that most traitors are bad political actors they get fame by cheap betrayal and fade away. This guy was valuable every single time he changed his colors because he not only understood warfare, he knew people and he knew geopolitics. He was also kind of a dick and made enemies with everyone. Hd played the game about as extreme as you can and managed to stay alive during some of the most dangerous times in Greek history.
When your charisma stats are so high they outlive you...
He's the first troll in recorded history.
hey sanderfan. i see your username.
Well, to be a troll you have to INTENTIONALLY fuck with people, so probably not.
@@Delightfully_Bitchy well he definitely did that
Literally
@@Delightfully_Bitchy he kinda did that, literally and figuratively
@@blastoid37 @Fantasy Shadows
Not necessarily. That's the thing about Alcibiades; Everything about him can be summed up as "Spoiled, rich, himbo who thought he brilliant". Which is more likely: That he was this Machiavellian super villain who wanted to destroy his country and make himself look like a fool for some reason or that he was a spoiled idiot everyone kept giving power because he's gorgeous?
In 9th grade, for the ancient civilization history final, we had to decide if Odysseus or Alcibiades was the most important figure covered in the winter term. I was the only person who wrote 10 pages on Alcibiades and the Sicilian expedition. My teacher found this hilarious.
Kathryn Olsen well Alcibiades is definitely a verifiable singular person and not a composite, which if Odysseus was in fact a historically factual person, the stories attributed to him were most definitely a composite of multiple different people.
I need to read that.
Like, yesterday.
Did you get a good grade tho?
Biggus Dickus with the rest of the exam, I pulled it up to a b+.
Damn, you had a wayy funner 9th grade lol
Is this the same Alcibiades that Socrates was totally crushing on and went on and on about in the Republic?
Yes
Thought Plato wrote The Republic
@Cassie Stevens Unsurprising. Plato loved shipping people and his other otp was Achilles/Patroclus.
Read the Symposium, Alcibiades crashes a party and drunkenly rambles about getting friendzoned by Socrates.
@@gorsh5782 You're right! I don't think Alcibiades was mentioned in the Republic at any time (haven't finished reading it yet), but in the Symposium, like 2/3 of the story is about the relation between Socrates and Alcibiades.
I was trying to look up Alkibiades' quests for assassins creed Odyssey because I want the whole armor set and found this. So I've been regularly sleeping with THIS MAN??
You and everyone else.
Vriska????
Bruh “I’ve been regularly sleeping with this man” is just about with everyone said about alkibiades 😭
Cheat engine works too
It feels like odyssey didnt really do him justice. They pretty much just focused on the man-whore part.
Honestly, considering he overthrew democracy he should have been in the cult of kosmos
"Going around whispering marshmallow and murdering everybody"
pssst... *m@ř§hməLow*
“The Marshmallow Massacre” - Committed by the Marshmallow Murderer
"The Marshmallow sends his regards."
".... What?" *squirk* "ACK!" (in the afterlife) ".... what the fuck just happened?"
The phrase "the man, the myth, the legend" was made just so we had a way of describing Alcibiades.
Throughout this video, I just kept hearing and seeing Alcibiades as Archer. Especially with the "Still gorgeous. Always have been, always will be."
I will never get this comparison out of my head now. Do we know that archer wasn't inspired by alcibiades in real life?
A fellow PGTE fan I see. I agree
The way Blue tells it, feels like Nicias is the only aroace in a Mediterranean of disaster bisexuals falling all over themselves for Alcibiades. Love it.
Omg yes 😂
when the hell did "aroace" happen? who is making this shit up?
@@jonahwashburn9573 It stands for aromantic asexual. Translation: someone who experiences neither romantic or sexual attraction. It's not a new phenomenon.
Chaotic Neutrals gotta keep their options open.
"MARSHMELLOW DON'T KILL ME!!!!!"
And those were his last words.
"Patroclus was his first boyfriend" Achilles is pissed.
Ult Geek but in the end Achilles was there to avenge his lost love
Didn’t that happen like 1000 years before Alcibiades was born
This angered Achilles who punished him severly
...you do realize by making the video....that you are doing exactly what Alcibiades would want...oh my god...HIS INFLUENCE HAS REACHED BEYOND THE GRAVE!!! DAMN YOU, ALCIBIADES!!!!!!
Alcibiades is like the bard in D&D that solves all his problems with charm and sex. Nickus is like the wizard trying to be logical.
Can't believe how accurate AC:Od makes him
I try to keep historically accurate by doing everything he tells me to, no matter how stupid it sounds.
It gets his personality right. I was expecting him to be a lot more handsome, though.
@@ElGringoCastellano well standards change from time to time
Beauty standards change and by ancient greek standards he was extremely attractive.
"This is a cast of someone's dick"
Alcibiades has always amazed me...he always acquired power with so many different enemies...Athens, Sparta, Persia...and the people loved him...I'm not sure even the assassins even really wanted him dead...I pretty sure he single handedly kept the war going for as long as is it did...way to smart and too selfish for his own good...if he stuck with one super power he would have been much more successful... definitely one of kind...I'm sure Alexander learned much from him
Alexander learned one thing from him: kill anyone like him on sight.
@@lupahole
Not a bad strategy.
... ... ... ...
You can meet and sleep with him in 'Assassin's Creed Odyssey.'
Richie Beck 4 times if I’m right
And also follow his stupid-sounding yet genius ideas.
For real! I’ve never played an Assassin’s Creed game but I’d totally play Odyssey if I got to have some hot steamy sex with the one and only Alcibiades
@@berkleypearl2363 He came across as creepily like James Charles to me.
But with weirder hair.
James Sinclair LMAO
Alcibiades is the kinda historical figure people think MUST be made up, until you reveal he was real.
Something tells me that Alcibiades is the distant ancestor of Robert Walpole.
No, Walpole is an ancestor of Alcibiades.
wut
3.14 Dragon interesting
+Sophia Snuggles Probably an Extra History joke
I know that.
"Hm, Alcibiades, there's a name I haven't heard of before" and now it's a name I'll never forget. Or at least I'll remember the stuff that happened to him. I'm having such a fun time digging through all your videos; I found you through Trope Talk but have discovered that these Summarized videos are pure gold. So far my favorites have been this, the rise of Islam, and the Journey to the West. And Cu Chulainn. There's just so much good stuff that I'd either known of but not much about or, in this case, nothing about at all, so thanks for bringing it to my attention. Cheers
Jack Rackam I'm subscribed to you
Jack Rackam the most interesting Athenean politician in late 5th century BC!
Same
Been waiting all my life for someone, somewhere, to make a decent video about this dude. Finally.
Now I'm hoping for one about Pyrrhus of Epirus...another interesting larger than life dude that's perfect for an overly sarcastic production. He looses his kingdom at age 2, gets it back as a teen. Looses it again. Is sent to the front lines at age 16. He survives and becomes a badass. He's then sent to Eqypt as a hostage where he gain favor with the Queen, marries her daughter, and returns to Epirus with an army, including Elephants. He challenges and beats an opposing Macedonian army's champion in single combat. Becoming famous in Macedonia for it eventually making the entire army defect to him, becoming King of Macedonia.
Then takes on Rome...But not before falling ad the boat halfway to Italy during a storm and swims the rest of the way. Beats a Roman champion. Cuts a man in half in Sicily. Takes on Sparta on his way back from Italy. Then is killed by an old lady with a roof tile to the head in Argos.
Then Belasarius, he actually deserves a movie.
the music, loud, kills the message
I wouldn't be surprised if, had Alcibiades stayed with the expedition in Siciliy, he would have succeeded in rallying all those town to their cause because he was just that gorgeous.
alcibiadies has a high charisma level and a cheat code activated to do all that
the concept of the dorian war chant being a bunch of dudes yelling “LET’S F***** GO BOYS” over and over again utterly killed me
killed the athenians to though
😂😂😂 this is an underrated comment
I kind of want a movie about Alcibiades with Henry Cavill in the titular role now.
Charisma: 30
Intelligence: 12
Wisdom: 2
I have a mythical theory that Alcibiades was actually Hermes playing a cruel joke or Loki raising chaos and fucking half the land
Nah, he’s just a son of Aphrodite
Lmao, Everywhere And Nowhere's depiction of Alcibiades is spot on
Yeah lmao
As someone who really hates how much history tends to focus on specific figures rather than larger political, economic, and cultural trends, Alcibiades is one of the few exceptions where he absolutely deserves the focus given to him.
"Where have you been now, Socrates? Ah, but of course you have been in chase of Alcibiades and his youthful beauty!" Literally the introduction sentences of the Protagoras, one of Socrates' surviving works... If that doesn't tell you anything about the man, I don't know what does.
one of platos surviving works*
2:42 "So Athens devoted the next three turns to production" I chuckled.
Okay, this had bothered me, then in an unrelated thing for an ancient history class I'm taking, it came up again, the reason Alcibiades was prosecuted in Athens just before and during the Sicilian expedition wasn't because he participated in mutilating the Herms. He likely didn't have much to do with that, but as they were investigating that, they found out through servants and slaves that he had participated in a parody of the Eleusian Mysteries, which, to put it mildly, was a massive fucking deal and very much something the Athenians felt justified the death penalty. Sacrilege was a really serious crime for ancient greeks, it wasn't just putting yourself at risk of a god's wrath, but anyone who didn't punish you might also be hurt by the god, if said deity thought you were complicit
Percy Jackson fans, doesn't this sound exactly like charmspeak? He's totally a son of Aphrodite
Yes!
Oh my God it does. It sounds exactly like charmspeak.
Dam, we should give Aphrodite's children more credit
This was my first thought.
This is why we need more responsible children of Aphrodite, like Piper
I was thinking of Blue using his Alcibiades voice to say cheezy pickup lines in bars, but then I remembered he's married. So now I think of Blue defending his doctoral dissertation using his Alcibiades voice..."My dissertation is on domes, and these domes are georgeous, almost as georgeous as Alcibiades..."
I forgot that Blue used Henry Cavil as Alcibiades and I died every time he came on screen.
I kinda want the story of Alcibiades' son with the Spartan Queen. Or any offspring of this guy.
He was probably murdered their Spartans
@@LuisMedina-cw4dk Yeah, probably yeeted into the woods or something. That's the Spartans for you.
true
✨Alki-Alkibiades lover of the Spartan queen
There was a cat that really was gone✨
It's a shame we'll never have a sample of his DNA. Considering he banged just about everything that moved, he well could be the G. Khan of the western world.
“Hey, i’m Gorgeous,
Love me.”
Okay.”
Still 100% one of the most entertaining history videos ever
So this entire part of greek history was a gigantic sitcom :P
He sounds like someone’s high charisma D&D character.
He is the Mary Sue of history
Estella montagu how is he a Mary sue he was super interesting. A Mary sue is someone who is boring with no personality
I think you mean Gary Stu
homunculus7 because everyone loves them and everything goes there way?
Of course every thing goes his way!
At one point Athens sends people to set his house on fire and kill him!
He had a 30 in charisma
so basically, he had charmspeak abilites? *hears Red screaming in distance* i'll. . . . . . . . go now. . . . . . .
Alcibiades, also know as "That Guy"
I really couldn't stand how School of Life blamed him for Athen's disasters and called him a demagogue. I mean, he was one but the man knew how to get shit done. It was hardly his fault that the Athenians decided to pull highschool drama on him.
Like he was so sexy that if he had been on the treck across Sicily all the locals would have joined up and the plan would have worked?
*History Channel logo comes up*
Me: Wait, are you saying that Alcibiades is an alien?
If this guy was as charismatic as you claim that terrible idea of marching across the island and gathering troops might have worked. He was completely banking on being able to use his mind control powers.
he went to go help in the siege of phocaea, not take a bathroom break LOL but I like your version way better
+Matt I don't know man, I have pretty good sources saying it was definitely a bathroom break. :D (Thanks!)
Totally couldn't figure that out by myself, thanks.
thank you--answered my question.
Alcibiades is the source of every bard character in D&D
This was seriously the best story retelling I've come across in ages. You totally sold him and his dopeness - that guy was so gangsta
Clearly this guy was the party Bard in a D&D game Zues was running
Going back to watch this episode is especially interesting since I read the comic Everywhere & Nowhere
HELL YEAH. I found this before the comic tho and I've been wondering if Blue would enjoy it...
I was reading everywhere and nowhere and decided to look up Alcibiades because he’s my favorite character... I did not expect the comic to be this accurate LOL
I am actually curious you didn’t bring up Socrates
the story of a man that put all his stats point into Charisma and then run a lucky streak of natural 20 in persuasion and deception roll... nicely played Alcibiades.
I came back to this masterpiece of yours after reading Alkibiades by Ilja Leonard Pfeiffer, actually one of the best pieces of historical fiction I've ever read. Hope they translate it to English sometime. It's crazy how you managed to almost get every detail in that 700+ page book into a snappy 15 minute video!
Hermocrates was pretty awesome as well, forgot the exact details, but during Peloponnesian war, when Athenians were camping/about to leave because they were losing, Hermocrates was about to make roadblocks but was denied by higher ups. So he sent "informants" to Athenians, saying that "There's totally roadblocks, you can't leave for few days." And Athenians bought it and Hermocrates built the roadblocks next day! :D
this has always been one my favorites. it's a channel classic
"Athens devoted the next 3 turns to production" that fucking killed me
Just met Alkibiades In AC Odyssey and he is EXACTLY as you described him! 🤣
I dunno if you read comments anymore this far back, Blue, but I aced an interview today in which I had to give a presentation off the dome on a random topic that turned out to be "any ruler/statesman" and leaned into/stole HEAVILY from this video. I guess I'll be subbing on Patreon as a way of buying you a frosty beverage of your choice.
I just want Alcibiades illegitimate son on a t-shirt. That was beautiful omygosh
There should be a series or movie trilogy about this guy.
From the afterlife, Alcibiades takes a look at his historical legacy. He thinks "I had a truly great life... where is my role as a great leader and?... CRAP! My life is in the dark comedy section? How?" *continues reading* "Oh... they caught all that? No wonder my life sucks here and I am spending eternity in a fool's motley."
good old storytelling at its finest, just listening to the audio you can imagine everything
How did u not mention he became general in 420 bc...... 420!!!! ...he knew
I watched an episode of Star Trek after i watched this and realised that Alcibiades is like the original Captain Kirk... haha
I hope you're proud that this is the only way I can imagine Alcibiades' appearance, even after at least half a year after watching this video. I was reading Wikipedia, minding my own business, thinking "Who's this Alcibiades dude again?", and as I'm clicking the link BAM! Henry Cavill with anime eyes!
I'd be upset, but Henry Cavill.
3:04
omgomgomg
That used to be my favorite painting!! I live right by the gallery it's in, and when I was little, my best friend and I would stare at it, I'm not sure why, but we just really liked it!
That's a very wholesome memory...
How do I explain that this five-year-old video is my entire sense of humour?
BLUE. I THINK EVERYBODY DEMANDS A REMAKE
"Still gorgeous, possibly more gorgeous than yesterday"
Holy Mother Kali, I just found a picture of a statue of this guy, and Blue's not kidding: he's like Collin Farrell in "Alexander" meets Michelangelo's David. If that thing was true to life, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUM.
Blue, Alcibides is in the webtoons comic Everywhere and Nowhere. Your video helped it make alot more sense for me. Thank you.
It is 1:32 am and I have decided to binge all of Blue's videos and I love that it feels like I'm having a conversation with this dude like it's so chill and comedic and I love it so much
the tried to siege a city that is on the coast..... near water.......> with Large ships......brilliant.
I think the counter walls were made just to insult the attackers, because Spartans had a great sense of humor; Although if you don,t know what i am talking about here is a example.
A messenger was then sent to Leonidas’ general, reporting the refusal and threatening, “Our arrows will block out the sun”.
Leonidas’ general retorted, “Then we shall have our battle in the shade!”
Phillip of Makedon: If we conquer your city, we will exterminate your entire population. (paraphrase)
Spartan King (can't remember his name): If.
I had to look this up after reading Merryweathery's Everywhere & Nowhere
Props to this man for playing Chopin. God bless you.
Also, one day he cut the tail of his dog just so that people would gossip about him.
See, that's the kind of behaviour that should tell you : "let's NOT give that man any critical reponsablity". It would be a better world if work ed like that.
Honestly, he sounds like a psychopath.
He was charming and completely untrustworthy, but everyone let me get away with stuff because he was just so likable and handsome.
He was basically Ted Bundy if he focused on his political career instead of the whole serial killer stuff.
Guy: "Hey, Boss said we should go fight the Spartans, right?"
The Other Guy: "Yup"
Couldn't stop laughing at this line as well as the build-up to it. Great stuff.
This is the best video that Blue has ever made. Evidence: HIS ADMISSION AND HENRY CAVIL AS THE WITCHER
dude maxed out charisma
I know this man from everywhere & Nowhere and I only have love for this man.
I want a thing on Athens' Trickiest Citizen, Themistocles. Winner of the Battle of Salamis
btw, I want to note that this whole time Socates is alive in Athens just streaming at the Oligarchs
I rewatch this way too often. Solid comedy gold
Aaah I'm so glad you did this video! I read the webtoon Everywhere & Nowhere and i love Alcibiades!!! So I'm glad to know more actually about him!
I started cracking up as soon as I saw him in AC Oddyssey having already viewed this video.
Glad Ubisoft worked him into the story in AC Odyssey but didn't do him nearly enough justice. Glad I found this older gem!
A few days ago at combat club, I got nicknamed after this dude. Today, this appears in my sub box!
I think google is listening to me.
Alcibiades had to have used the "I'm secretly Zeus" card at least once in his lifetime.
I think this and the Ptolamies are the earliest videos blue made that didn’t end up on the bad history playlist
Alcibiades is what happens when you spec all your stats into Charisma and Luck.