i love how essentially this entire series has been them trying to take this game as far from skyrim as possible, and this episode ironically is 24 minutes of them desperately trying to play skyrim in a game that is everything but skyrim at this point and refuses to cooperate it's incredible, we have come full circle
You somehow managed to break the game so bad you start out as someone who ISN'T the Dragonborn. No one believes you about Dragons attacking Helgen, you can't absorb dragon souls, and the old beard guys won't teach you how to yell at people good. That creates an interesting theory that there's a different NPC in the game somewhere who is unknowingly the Dragonborn. Just livin' everyday farmin' cabbages until meta sexwizard Susan Crushbone visits and summons 50 bears to kill you because you weren't in the mood for weed sex.
The image of susan crushbone trying to give farengar a dragon stone, becoming frustrated when he wont accept the dragon stone, and then generating a sea of 300 dragon stones out of spite is really doing it for me.... she is a petty god
Well the first time I played Skyrim, the horses at the start started walking straight up into the air and took me on a wonderful space adventure. So I don't know how much of the beginning is the mods fault.
I stg I heard the intro song as the main tune of a rap song at my school once, to this day the name of the song haunts me but it was JUST like the Touch the Skyrim theme except a bit slower
Hotmanlion12 Thanks! I can't fucking believe I've watched this whole series without knowing that the name was a reference to this song. I'm a little ashamed.
Katy Gramling I think it would be like Batman v Superman, except instead of finding out their mom's have the same name they would learn they have the SAME dad boy. Then they gather all the other hot polygon ip creatures and form a kick ass super group.
And then the Thanos/Ultron/Steppenwolfe of their crossover movie is Busto 2.0. Can Bone Dogg, Susan Crushbone, Final Pam, Chiquita Dave, and Toucan Dan save the universe from the master of godtrash?
The problem with The House is that it seems like it exists, like it's just right there when you look at it, and it's between two other identical houses, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But it does not exist.
I met a traveller from an antique land Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert... near them, on the sand, Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, Tell that its sculptor well those passions read Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things, The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed: And on the pedestal these words appear: 'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!' Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare The lone and level sands stretch far away
I hate that this series never had a proper ending while it was so close to the end :( They had like 1 or 2 episodes left they say in one of the last eps of this.
Me about every 6 month: "Hmm, haven't played Skyrim in quite a while for some reason, let's boot it up." *158 mods outdated and not compatible with latest skyrim.exe. 47 mods in conflict with each other. modmanager begging for mercy* "Ok nevermind."
from what I can tell, I think Griffin spawned in the dragonstone to avoid going through the whole dungeon again, which would explain why they didn't have the unrelenting force shout. anyway iirc the dragonstone is glitchy as hell and this game doesn't enjoy duplicates of quest items At All.
Griffin and Nicks experience trying to get the game to work reminds me of when, in my fallout game, father was on the CIT roof he would just fly upwards when I tried to talk to him
Fun fact, the starting cutscene gets messed up with any “faster horses” mod too. As far as I understand it’s because the horses have a set walking path and time and the different speed will mess it up It’s weird to me how mods will affect the cutscenes tho, but I guess it’s just because of how they’re done in Skyrim
He was fired for inappropriate sexual behaviour towards women in the gaming/gaming journalism industry - the stuff that was made public was mostly just unprofessional/unsolicited flirting in private messages etc (with Nick not appreciating his position of power as a minor internet celebrity), but supposedly there were worse cases that were kept private out of respect for those who they involved (which of course has resulted in a LOT of rumour-mongering). The majority found it hard to forgive Nick due to his public apology/statement being kind of unsatisfactory with no acknowledgement or follow-up since. Either way, as an audience we were left to just trust in Polygon's judgement to lose him. Just a shame that so much great content was tainted, and this series was cut-off so tantalisingly close to the end (they likely recorded/edited more than we got to see too, argh), but of course the fault lies purely with Nick and his actions.
I fucking lost it when Nick is like "what do you think the culprit is?" and Griffin was like "It's a car Nick! Not a horse! It doesn't know how to go good"
About the beginning, I had a similar thing happen to me in more Vanilla Skyrim. The cart just kept going and drove into the wall by the chopping block and just kept walking in place.
The “thunk” of the plate being dropped on Balgruuf’s head as he’s knocked unconscious followed by Griffin saying “Do something, idiot!” is my new ring tone.
i love how essentially this entire series has been them trying to take this game as far from skyrim as possible, and this episode ironically is 24 minutes of them desperately trying to play skyrim in a game that is everything but skyrim at this point and refuses to cooperate
it's incredible, we have come full circle
johndave is better
benepla ive seen ur ask on tumblr and cane here specifically to upvote this 2 comments hi
i dont know what tumblr is but thank u for the support
bro i won't even argue (i ship davekat and love that is canon, but johndave is a Good and Pure ship and i support it wholeheartedly)
no no, davejadekat is the fuckin jam
You somehow managed to break the game so bad you start out as someone who ISN'T the Dragonborn. No one believes you about Dragons attacking Helgen, you can't absorb dragon souls, and the old beard guys won't teach you how to yell at people good.
That creates an interesting theory that there's a different NPC in the game somewhere who is unknowingly the Dragonborn. Just livin' everyday farmin' cabbages until meta sexwizard Susan Crushbone visits and summons 50 bears to kill you because you weren't in the mood for weed sex.
Cameron Vincent This is my new head canon.
Cameron Vincent AHAHHAHA
420 likes
Got to thinking... maybe I’m the Dragonborn, and I just don’t know it yet?
The image of susan crushbone trying to give farengar a dragon stone, becoming frustrated when he wont accept the dragon stone, and then generating a sea of 300 dragon stones out of spite is really doing it for me.... she is a petty god
Then summoning 50 bears as she leaves... *god.*
A malevolent, but ultimately just, god.
I can't believe we're never going to see an actual ending for this series. They were so close to being done.
Griffin, shouting: TEACH ME HOW TO SHOUT
i mean
that's how it works with dougieing, too, right?
Touch the Skyrim: Griffin quickly becomes more and more enraged at his own godless creations.
do you think god stays in heaven, because hetoo lives in fear of what he's created?
seeing sonic after susan sat down was maybe one of the most jarring things i've seen all year
it's that neither of them react at all
At that very moment, I questioned every decision in my life that led me to witness that moment.
It's kind of poetic that after 15 episodes of trying to break Skyrim with mods the thing that actually broke the game was the Skyrim part.
good ending: susan gets a gf
best ending: susan's gf is Final Pam
orange worst ending: not getting an ending at all :(
+Mark Bakhoum i want to die
*you're a fucking genius*
ok but consider this: final pam is susan crushbones wife
will 3-eyed Metal Husband be cool with this? (also nobody cares what Trash Hulk thinks so never mind him)
Well the first time I played Skyrim, the horses at the start started walking straight up into the air and took me on a wonderful space adventure. So I don't know how much of the beginning is the mods fault.
"Balgruuf, talk to Farengar!"
_Not for you. Not for _*_anyone._*
when griffin said "speedrun strats" i immediately heard justin's "hey guys it's buttman62 here" echo in my head
next episode you open the game and its a livestream of todd howard twirling two revolvers like ocelot
"Hey! Wanna come get lunch with the coworkers today??"
"No... I have... Touch the Skyrim. Please don't make me explain."
that crippling social anxiety.
Goodbye, Susan
nick "I don't know how long this is going to last, it could all fall apart."
:( yup
griffin getting fed up with everyone's bs and fucking spawning like 50 bears into the room was the best moment imo
Classic Bear Bomb™
The final boss of Skyrim is Todd Howard himself
Haylee Beth Todd Howard, World Eater.
Noble Actual He's actually the Hunger from TAZ. Any world that isn't Skyrim, he must devour and destroy
The final boss of Skyrim is The Final Pam, just like she is the final boss of every other game.
no one has ever beaten him
"it's a car nick, not a horse, it doesn't know how to go good!"
Susan Crushbone runs a fashion vlog and she isn't about to miss an update bc of some fuckos guarding some shitty horn.
To give Skyrim some credit, you did absolutely obliterate it before trying to play it. Regardless, great job boys.
Sadly these are all real skyrim bugs....
(I still havent done the main quest bc of this rip)
Jelly Jeffrey did you guys ever get the bug where erandur wont destroy the sceptor hes supposed to destroy so you cant finish his quest
and then we all remember the first google search is for why the Jarl is not progressing the quest
Z
You guys, You're not supposed to be going to hell in THIS series!
I’m still upset that this ended on a cliff hanger
I come back at least twice a year to rewatch and get sad all over again
That glorious, glorious intro music..
Gets my jimmies all rustled and ready every time.
I stg I heard the intro song as the main tune of a rap song at my school once, to this day the name of the song haunts me but it was JUST like the Touch the Skyrim theme except a bit slower
PangoPixel The song you're thinking of is Touch the Sky by Kanye West
Hotmanlion12 Thanks! I can't fucking believe I've watched this whole series without knowing that the name was a reference to this song. I'm a little ashamed.
At 11:33 Sonic definitely knew they were about to time stop so he MADE SURE to hit that dab.
Susan Crushbone is my favorite video game character
You only got a 40 coin bounty for killing the Jarl. Like, work a day of retail, kill your king
40 is for assault. 1000 is for murder
This series should just go on with Simone as Nick
Griffin as an angry boy is really upsetting to witness.
It looks like Susan might never get the ending she deserves :(
Sad but true.
fuck man, sucks
all because Vox are vehemently anti-horny DMs.
oh 2017.... :,(
Humes McKenzie It was probably way worse than that. Judging by what many people have been saying, there was more we haven't seen yet
yeah Susan Crushbone is the least of all women betrayed by Nick
Susan Crushbone with all her accoutrements vs The Final Pam. The battle for the universe.
ShooManFu why would they fight, they're in love
after a while of fighting, they realise they're evenly matched, then they kiss
edit: dang Katy Gramling beat me by like 15 seconds
Katy Gramling I think it would be like Batman v Superman, except instead of finding out their mom's have the same name they would learn they have the SAME dad boy. Then they gather all the other hot polygon ip creatures and form a kick ass super group.
And then the Thanos/Ultron/Steppenwolfe of their crossover movie is Busto 2.0.
Can Bone Dogg, Susan Crushbone, Final Pam, Chiquita Dave, and Toucan Dan save the universe from the master of godtrash?
Best part is that this "one moment" bug with the jarl has nothing to do with our boys. This is a common Skyrim bug that was never patched.
So uh. Suggestion for new replacement series along the same vein. Fallout Boys. Griffin and Pat mod Fallout: New Vegas until it's unrecognizable.
Lena Carey this idea needs to go to the top
YES PLEASE
You guys broke it when you made the jarl ragdoll. It broke the conversation, which needs to be completed to advance the story.
Can the next thing be "Nick and Griffin Beat The House" with Nick playing New Vegas and Griffin being the one watching?
The problem with The House is that it seems like it exists, like it's just right there when you look at it, and it's between two other identical houses, so it would make more sense for it to be there than not. But it does not exist.
But The House always wins tho.
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert... near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away
I vote for "Nick and Griffin fail at Fallout" as the next big thing.
cryoboy this is so good I need it
If they do this and don't call it "Fallout Boys" I will be legitimately furious.
but they already brought the one and final pam upon the wasteland. To return would be to foolishly wander back into her realm
Hellls yeh the monster factory episode where amazing
Ultimate Chimichanga You idiot... all realms are Her realm
A dirty JAM, or a dirty Ja'am?
At least we still have our sweet soft Mcelroy boys
Not anymore xD
Donald Genisys what do you mean?
@@birdscameflying The boys didn't need polygon and have basically quit
glad nick is gone after what he did but susan's unresolved arc is going to haunt me forever
What did Nick do?
living for susan summoning a fucking dragon to prove a point to the jarl. wish i was THAT petty
I hate that this series never had a proper ending while it was so close to the end :( They had like 1 or 2 episodes left they say in one of the last eps of this.
hearing the fucking "CHEESE, FOR EVERYONE" shout again is the most cathartic thing
Alternative title: Griffin slowly loses his composure and says very bad words
1:54 Busto refuses to let Nick and Griffin forget that they are Car Boys
Rip touch the skyrim, never forget
It's not real Skyrim unless you have so many mod incompatibilities that the base game is unplayable.
Me about every 6 month: "Hmm, haven't played Skyrim in quite a while for some reason, let's boot it up." *158 mods outdated and not compatible with latest skyrim.exe. 47 mods in conflict with each other. modmanager begging for mercy* "Ok nevermind."
I have not had one set of mods that actually worked for me true story.
@@cocoapixels welcome to gamebyro
Susan's ruthlessness in this episode reminds me of Bone Dogg
God speed Bone Dogg, she has learned well
What if Bone Dogg is Susan's skeleton?
Meow, Dude.
turning skyrim into star wars jedi knight 2 starring susan crushbone is the best thing that has ever been done to this game
Let's Go to Helgen
pixelpi this is the best
nick's almost as good at breaking skyrim as he is good at breaking my HEART
3:30 This is exactly how I broke Skyrim as well. Carriage crash ends the Elder Scrolls.
DioGiorno RAWR!? (NANI!?)
I think this is the angriest they have ever gotten in any video.
I can't believe they killed somebody with the keyblade and didn't play the music
from what I can tell, I think Griffin spawned in the dragonstone to avoid going through the whole dungeon again, which would explain why they didn't have the unrelenting force shout. anyway iirc the dragonstone is glitchy as hell and this game doesn't enjoy duplicates of quest items At All.
All I want in my life is like 30 episodes of touch the skyrim and I can die happy
Rip in pieces touch the Skyrim 😔
I wish we could've seen how this would've played out with Susan Crushbone
we'll never know
7:34 *teleports behind you*
'nothing personnel kid'
I wanna see Susan's film projects
It's very sad to think this is the last episode
Suzan's covered wars, you know.
Griffin and Nicks experience trying to get the game to work reminds me of when, in my fallout game, father was on the CIT roof he would just fly upwards when I tried to talk to him
Fun fact, the starting cutscene gets messed up with any “faster horses” mod too. As far as I understand it’s because the horses have a set walking path and time and the different speed will mess it up
It’s weird to me how mods will affect the cutscenes tho, but I guess it’s just because of how they’re done in Skyrim
For some reason it was the image of Sonic shooting magical flames out of his giant fucking mickey mouse gloves that got me.
O N E M O M EN T ...
I never saw this before Nick was fired. Watching this posthumously is... odd.
Sorry I am asking so long after your post. This series is my first exposure to this channel. Why was Nick fired?
He was fired for inappropriate sexual behaviour towards women in the gaming/gaming journalism industry - the stuff that was made public was mostly just unprofessional/unsolicited flirting in private messages etc (with Nick not appreciating his position of power as a minor internet celebrity), but supposedly there were worse cases that were kept private out of respect for those who they involved (which of course has resulted in a LOT of rumour-mongering). The majority found it hard to forgive Nick due to his public apology/statement being kind of unsatisfactory with no acknowledgement or follow-up since. Either way, as an audience we were left to just trust in Polygon's judgement to lose him. Just a shame that so much great content was tainted, and this series was cut-off so tantalisingly close to the end (they likely recorded/edited more than we got to see too, argh), but of course the fault lies purely with Nick and his actions.
Susan Crushbone is to Skyrim as the Final Pam is to Fallout.
Shout, shout, let it all out. These are the quests I can't do without.
you did your best dave matthews
Susan Crushbone is best girl
PLEASE BRING THIS SERIES BACK
Griffin's pure, visceral, rage at tech not working the way it should is so... Relatable.. thank u for your sacrifices
21:46 ALL HAIL CRUSHBONE
HEROES RISE AGAIN
ANNIHILATING EVERYONE THAT'S NOT YOUR FRIEND
can we talk about how fucking dope sonic looks in stopped time
This is the best episode, I love griffins salt
Susan Crushbone continues to be the hero we need but don't deserve. Thank you Susan.
I fucking lost it when Nick is like "what do you think the culprit is?" and Griffin was like "It's a car Nick! Not a horse! It doesn't know how to go good"
Guess we'll never see how this ends :(
About the beginning, I had a similar thing happen to me in more Vanilla Skyrim.
The cart just kept going and drove into the wall by the chopping block and just kept walking in place.
god i miss this so much
I laughed so hard my vision went black when the cart flipped over at the beginning .
YOU HAD TO LEAVE AND COME BACK SO THE PARANOID LADY CAN COME TO SPEAK WITH FARENGAR BEFORE YOU CAN GIVE THE DRAGON STONE
Sad we probably won't see the end of this :(
tfw you're here before you even get the new video notification
Tfw you get here right on time *without* video notifications~
That feeling when you're like "WTF A NEW ONE HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN--oh only a few minutes."
The “thunk” of the plate being dropped on Balgruuf’s head as he’s knocked unconscious followed by Griffin saying “Do something, idiot!” is my new ring tone.
I feel for everyone involved. Shame it had to end this way, at least the truth is out there now. :(
I love how whenever they spawn a dragon inside it just hauls ass no clipping holy shit
i love touch the skyrim with ONLY GRIFFIN and nobody else!
I know nothing really went good, but this might be my favorite episode of Touch The Skyrim™
Great to see another episode! I thought the previous one was gonna be the ending.
I love that Susan is now an investigative journalist. I love this so much.
Griffin breaks Skyrim... creates Two Worlds
Susan Crushbone is the author of the elder scrolls
I've written a little haiku in dedication to this episode:
All horses are cars
We all ran right off the road
Now we're upside down :)
Susan has convinced me that next time I replay Skyrim, I'm making my Dragonborn an Orc girl
imagine them doing this series with oblivion
oh no here's more meta narrative.
This series doesn't have enough juicy lore
im so sad, y'all...