I did this by mistake. When going for the Al-Andalus achievement I was too focussed on conquering and converting iberia to notice that my entire genetic line was being slowly filled with Dwarfs. When the game was over I didn't have a single family member or vassal that wasn't a dwarf. It was unreal.
Close the gates! *starts closing it* it’s almost closed they’ll have to slide if they want to get in Rome!!! Dwarves: *Run under the gate* Guards: By the pope…… may god save him
I like to imagine a 73 year old man hobbling towards enemy soldiers and town squares yelling profanities in Icelandic soon followed by his army as they cut them down.
Press F for Jarl UNI Gardarsson, of Iceland, He was a chad! May he never be forgotten. Plundered rome, Constantinople's entire area, then all of south italy, then he raids all of scotland, and for his last dying days, he lives out in PLUNDERING and looting all of italy, then rides in his deathbed by looting all of scotland again. . And finally dies bringing back a fortune for a beginner player. . What a chad.
This was actually the theme of an Indian movie, a mystical island that is far from the mainland where all the men are dwarves. They were all also old-timey medieval, monarchy, etc. Then a tall boi from the mainland comes, pretends to be a dwarf and marries a proncess that was bethrothed to the dwarf king. Featuring one of India's best actors, Ajay "Undapakru" Kumar, who also happens to be a dwarf. Movie is called 'Athbhutha Dweepu' (Miraculous Island). Good movie, 10/10 would recommend.
i never understood that. "We will let you go if you convert to our religion" "yes ! yes of course!" *is freed and back home* "wow, they really let me go??? back to good ol religion for me"
@@korenn9381 just tell they forced you and you did that in bad faith, remaining christian in secret and praying to God after each depraved act. Also buy an indulgence from Pope.
@@User14234 it's actually because he was kidnapped by the rat people for exposing their existence. The rat people are letting him make videos so the rat people can get money, but they dont allow him to contact the outside world
That Viking guys was like my Polish King in CK2, he just wouldn't die. He lived to be 98 and then died of old age. His daughter then became Empress of Poland, because ofcourse, and she lived to be 85. Both of them managed to establish bloodlines and had all stats at 20+ with their individual battle prowess stat being over 90 at the time of their deaths. Did I forget to mention both of them died of old age?
4:51 made me giggle (your disappointment over becoming a father was hllarious), but I've got to tell you that segment from 6:43 - 7:11 made me literally laugh out loud.
Honestly the best part about this whole thing is you gave me a great idea: abduct all my rival kings and emperors, force convert them to Asatru, and then have my heir convert to something that doesn't have elect succession and later just assimilate all the tiny kingdoms into my empire.
“Small people” as a demonym actually has a ring to it. Kind of like “the low countries,” it’s “the small countries.” A small country consisting of small islands.
@@GlidusFlowers Já, ísland er jafnan flókið, sérstaklega tungumálið. Reyndar, ísland virðast að vera að hannaði að rugla útlendinga. Það er frábært. Íslensku mínum er vonandi læsilegt.
BloodMagicLord Íslenskan þín er svo sannarlega læsileg Alveg sammála, Íslendingar eru jafn mótaðir af hugmyndum annara af okkur og við erum mótaðir af eigin hugmyndum
Jarl Uni will go down as one of the greats. Like admiral Dong. And... I’m blanking. Were any of the bike seat sniffers any good? Can’t honestly remember
"Here's how much loot we can carry, probably less because we are tiny people." Fool! Dwarves suffer no encumbrance penalties from the weight that they carry!
Hey ISP. On the Hoi4 side of modding, the developers for the Old World Blues mod have announced their next big update comes out on October 23. Should have some spicy new content that would make for a nice video when the day comes. Just thought I’d put it out there
you know what would have been the greatest gaming design feature in the world?. if the chairs in the background of 19:54 matched the size of the people in front.
Just got my PC back from repairs. Wombo Combo of faulty SSD and finicky RAM. It's up and running and I'm getting this game tomorrow. Dorf Kingdoms, NotKorea, Wakanda Forever, 12 Hapsburg pileups, PC Master Race... so many playthroughs I want to do in this game.
I did this by mistake. When going for the Al-Andalus achievement I was too focussed on conquering and converting iberia to notice that my entire genetic line was being slowly filled with Dwarfs. When the game was over I didn't have a single family member or vassal that wasn't a dwarf. It was unreal.
what
It's a blessing from the prophet!
Ahahahaha
@@GastropodGaming2006 Your brain works at a snail's pace!
Fuck it.
E
“Relatively compact people” I love isorrowproductions
You isp gang or isorrow gang?
AxxL what?
Team isp ftw
Jerma
You hurted my feewing its vertically challenged people
“All our holy sights are everywhere that we can’t get too” you mean the top shelf?
Oscar hhhjjjhjjjjjj ha
so... the cookie jar
holy sites
Do not mention The Arch Nemesis
I found this as soon as I was at that part
I remember reading in a history books about dwarfs that were kidnapping people all over the Europe from Iceland
Behave yourself or *THE DWARFS* gonna take you
Tell me more
I remember reading that they couldn’t kidnap Charles V because his chin was powerful enough to kill anyone
The Snatchers
Dwarves + Raiding
Literally goblins.
*GAAAAWWWWWBLINS!!!!!!*
Close the gates! *starts closing it* it’s almost closed they’ll have to slide if they want to get in Rome!!!
Dwarves: *Run under the gate*
Guards: By the pope…… may god save him
i'm dieing xD
*forshadowing*
I not saying ISP Is a dwarf, but he plays dwarves a lot.
By that logic, he is also a rat, or some rat-people mutant anyway.
bruh
@@_Muzolf I think you are onto something here...
rat person mutant!
@@_Muzolf ISP is a rat dwarf.
Confirmed
As a Icelander i can confirm that we are just a bounch of dwarfs, in our dwarf kingdom
Dirty dwarf kingdom, we in the inbreb giant kingdom declare tic tac toe...
What’s the weather like down there?
@@ProfessorLemurit's windy, cloudy and depressing here
0mn0m have you considered brazil
Ok but can you stop kidnapping the pope?
"By a 73 year old one-eyed man"
I immediately yelled "It's Odin!" when he said it XD
I like to imagine a 73 year old man hobbling towards enemy soldiers and town squares yelling profanities in Icelandic soon followed by his army as they cut them down.
"The land where no one can have children!"
It's the sheep. They are too alluring.
*bleats nervously*
@Thanos Thanos *replies in the traditional sheepish manner, HEADBUTT!*
@@mollymcallister1671 bro really got nervous, committed assault and battery, refused to elaborate and left
The dungeons of Iceland are just filled with all the royalty of Europe.
Pope: Hey King of West Francia! Watcha doin here?
KoWF: I got ransacked by a bunch of dwarves-
Pope: Same bruh
@@BadDayLp Both of them: Wait, is that the heir to the Byzantine Empire?
Explains all the inbreeding.
“Dungeons of Iceland” is so redundant at this time.
It's basically Wal-Mart for sadistic kings
Press F for Jarl UNI Gardarsson, of Iceland, He was a chad! May he never be forgotten. Plundered rome, Constantinople's entire area, then all of south italy, then he raids all of scotland, and for his last dying days, he lives out in PLUNDERING and looting all of italy, then rides in his deathbed by looting all of scotland again. . And finally dies bringing back a fortune for a beginner player. .
What a chad.
F
F
F
Little f for his little descendants
ᶠ
F, you never be forgotten
Ah dude "And Denmark is currently converting to...*Islam* " XD
Ah Paradox games are always just a beauty to behold
Art imitates life.
I was playing Ireland the other day and jorvik went islam.
I'm just surprised it wasn't sweden.
DoGyMusic Prefer the spaghetti monster in the sky to be honest. Just makes more sense in my opinion. Because yknow spaghrtti > humans
@DoGyMusic You are based brother. Allahu Akbar
"almost a full sized human being"
Oompa loompa dippity do. We've sacked constantinople and now we'll sack you.
Lovely
Oompa loompa doopaty di now we'll also sack Italy
Grunka Lunka dunka da abadi, we’re Compact and we’re here to steal your baby.
I hate myself for it, but I'm laughing 😂😂😂
Ah yes, the holy dwarf pilgrimage: Using a ladder to get to the top shelf of the cupboard
Now we know the real reason why the Roman empire fell - constant dwarf raids by Atilla the dwarf.
This was actually the theme of an Indian movie, a mystical island that is far from the mainland where all the men are dwarves. They were all also old-timey medieval, monarchy, etc.
Then a tall boi from the mainland comes, pretends to be a dwarf and marries a proncess that was bethrothed to the dwarf king.
Featuring one of India's best actors, Ajay "Undapakru" Kumar, who also happens to be a dwarf. Movie is called 'Athbhutha Dweepu' (Miraculous Island). Good movie, 10/10 would recommend.
“What are you doing step brother”
Brilliant. - Thanos
I’d love to see this kingdom in Stellaris a thousand years later.
Their compact size makes them perfect for space travel
Abdega
All I see in this comment is the truth
Abdega they can be stacked like crates so that you can transport twice the amount of troops and colonists on ships
The fact that there are dwarf portraits in Stellaris would make this better.
someone's gotta make another expansion to that megacampaign mod series that brings your empire into stellaris
They refer to be called *”Vertically challenged”* thank you very much
"Using the money from raiding Byzantium to steal the 6 year old king of Wales... a noble cause."
Gotta love it
Ok
So... you just created Danny DeVito?
The supreme leader
why is he disappointed
so anyway, that’s when i started inbreeding
Ah, yes. King Mantis Toboggan and his magnum dong.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THE FUCK IS DANNY DE VITO AND I'M STILL DYING OF LAUGHTER
Disliked and reported for sexual content for not being offensive enough.
lol
yep
its 1 o'clock and time for lunch. when the sun's beats down and I lie on the bench, I can always hear them talk.
What about torturing the pope
May I recommend Dwarf Fortress to you, sir?
You should do a video of the “North Korea” exploit thing, there’s a video on it
F for Jarl Uni the Super Viking.
i never understood that.
"We will let you go if you convert to our religion"
"yes ! yes of course!"
*is freed and back home*
"wow, they really let me go??? back to good ol religion for me"
That's such a pro-Christian move.
(they probably invented that tactic to avoid being purged by the Romans)
One would suppose they would make you perform some acts that are hard to explain back home, such as burning the bible, join in some pagan rites, etc.
@@korenn9381 just tell they forced you and you did that in bad faith, remaining christian in secret and praying to God after each depraved act.
Also buy an indulgence from Pope.
I love your videos man! I've been watching you for about 3 years now! Thank you for making me laugh!
@@User14234 it's actually because he was kidnapped by the rat people for exposing their existence. The rat people are letting him make videos so the rat people can get money, but they dont allow him to contact the outside world
This is probably the most memeable game to ever exist
That Viking guys was like my Polish King in CK2, he just wouldn't die. He lived to be 98 and then died of old age. His daughter then became Empress of Poland, because ofcourse, and she lived to be 85. Both of them managed to establish bloodlines and had all stats at 20+ with their individual battle prowess stat being over 90 at the time of their deaths. Did I forget to mention both of them died of old age?
People call me a rump ranger for some reason
I'll range your rump
no homo
@@daveenglish107 the boiling point of water is really high and i like my fish like judaism, served with ice.
yay he's alive
I haven't heard ISP have so much joy in months.
Please make more Crusader Kings 3 videos, your laughter gives me life.
4:51 made me giggle (your disappointment over becoming a father was hllarious), but I've got to tell you that segment from 6:43 - 7:11 made me literally laugh out loud.
Damn you! I was about to go to sleep and you released this masterpiece
They posted this when it was practically midnight over here.
*i fell asleep while watching this but here I am*
@@Gamer-cb6yg I fell asleep too!
Honestly the best part about this whole thing is you gave me a great idea: abduct all my rival kings and emperors, force convert them to Asatru, and then have my heir convert to something that doesn't have elect succession and later just assimilate all the tiny kingdoms into my empire.
We in italy pull the leg to Sardinians saying that they are short, so it makes sense to me
You should’ve forced the pope to convert to dwarfism
Icelanders under Jarl Uni "One-Eyed" be like: You like Allfather Odin, both with having one eye and that all of us is propably related
7:45 F
I have been waiting all week for this
Glad its here
10:31
"throw it in the trash 2 throw it in the trashsdottir" that name just cracks me up
"denmark is moving to islam"
*MEGACAMPAIGN FLASHBACKS*
Paradox wants to tell us something
Funny thing is that it also was Jylland,the same nation that gone muslim in the megacampaign
I swear allegiance now and forever to the *Kingdom of Shortstacks*
The Mountain King would be proud of you.
I believe that the walls of constantinople prevent raiding in some capacity
As an Icelander I can confirm this is all historically accurate
This had me laughing the whole time, can relate to the terrible heirs so much
"that should have been dwarves not dwarfs" *grudging intensifies*
THIS ONE'S FOR KARAK EIGHT-PEAKS
Khazukan kazakit ha!
All your videos genuinely make my day ISP forever rewatching them
“Small people” as a demonym actually has a ring to it. Kind of like “the low countries,” it’s “the small countries.” A small country consisting of small islands.
The Dwarven people of the land of Smäll.
Jarl Uni has big "Sword of Jesus" energy
More like the "Sword of Dwarves"
Rip Jarl Uni. Man was basically Odin himself
The pope when isorrow kidnaps people converting them and trys to have everyone be his religion: *Don't you use my own spells against me potter*
I mean Icelanders believe in elves, so dwarfs are just the next logical step really
Most of them don't.
BloodMagicLord
It’s complicated
@@GlidusFlowers Já, ísland er jafnan flókið, sérstaklega tungumálið. Reyndar, ísland virðast að vera að hannaði að rugla útlendinga. Það er frábært. Íslensku mínum er vonandi læsilegt.
BloodMagicLord
Íslenskan þín er svo sannarlega læsileg
Alveg sammála, Íslendingar eru jafn mótaðir af hugmyndum annara af okkur og við erum mótaðir af eigin hugmyndum
Jarl Uni will go down as one of the greats.
Like admiral Dong. And... I’m blanking.
Were any of the bike seat sniffers any good? Can’t honestly remember
The ancient practice of "Dwarf-stealing." Funniest guy on youtube.
Beta: Geographical expansion
Alpha: “extra range for dwarf stealing”
This honestly feels like an ISP life story that really happened
I regret taking a swig of sprite right as you showed your steam review, but I managed to stifle the laugh and you managed to gain a sub out of it. XD
"What is wrong with WALES!?!"
It's all those sheep.
"I gotta raid Byzantium, there's like a HUNDRED and fifty gold pieces there" literally why Vikings sacked Constantinople irl
“It’s quite sad really.” 2020 in a nutshell.
When the small people are so small, they shorten the plural of dwarf.
Now you should have this kingdom battle the Chad kingdom you made for the last video
"Here's how much loot we can carry, probably less because we are tiny people."
Fool! Dwarves suffer no encumbrance penalties from the weight that they carry!
They got little hands, little eyes
They walk around telling great big lies
Man the new Dwarf Fortress update looks gorgeous.
The hobbit we’ve been waiting for.
Jarl Uni Garbarsson. Thats the best pirate I have ever seen.
*somewhere under iceland* diggy diggy hole, digging a hole
Hey ISP. On the Hoi4 side of modding, the developers for the Old World Blues mod have announced their next big update comes out on October 23. Should have some spicy new content that would make for a nice video when the day comes. Just thought I’d put it out there
Jarl Uni was the gigachad of his time
10:30 throw it in the trash 2: electric boogaloo
The term is PoC - people of compactness
The Pope actually called a crusade against England, that's the fanfic I love Crusader Kings for
Up Next: How I Created An Overpowered Average Height Kingdom In Crusader Kings 3
so literally ISP's first video minus the giants thing
6:30 The reason why you couldn't raid Constantinople was simply because their walls and garrison were stronger than your army of raiders.
GRUDGES WILL BE SETTLED
The vertically challenged king of the dwarf kingdom of sardinia which is actually iceland kidnapped all the european monarchs and destroyed byzantium
"And Denmark is moving to...Islam."
Oh, I didn't know you'd reached 2022, already.
Dawg what
right wing schizos be like
Let us never forget the legacy of Jarl Uni Garoarsson
"The Fall of Constantinople to the Dwarfs"
Dwarfs: the hatchbacks of humans.
Another great thing about being Iceland
*We are number one*
you know what would have been the greatest gaming design feature in the world?.
if the chairs in the background of 19:54 matched the size of the people in front.
"Form a religion out of dwarvism!"
(me thinking of bill wurtz) *WE COULD MAKE A RELIGION OUT OF THIS*
8:08 This guy manages to blink even with his eyes constantly closed.
Jarl Uni, a god among men. F.
14:34 Count Dwarf King "the Foolish" of Hannover
12:40 "What is wrong with Whales?"
A question the English ask themselves all the time.
All Isp needs do to keep us entertained is having fun
Fun fact, in Age of Sigmar Dwarves are actually “Dwarfs” for copyright reasons, so you basically just made your world kind of Sigmar haha
Gimli is proud
*Broke:* Deus Vult!
*Woke:* STRIKE THE EARTH
Just got my PC back from repairs. Wombo Combo of faulty SSD and finicky RAM. It's up and running and I'm getting this game tomorrow. Dorf Kingdoms, NotKorea, Wakanda Forever, 12 Hapsburg pileups, PC Master Race... so many playthroughs I want to do in this game.
3:13 "Even the U Gay"
F for Jarl Uni Gardtharsson of Iceland. The mad lad himself.
Ah yes. The dwarves of Iceland that went on a massive kidnapping spree. Loved reading about that in the history books
Tyrion Lannister:
**Visible happiness**