I recently dove deep into some of my trauma. It was very painful but I realized why I had clung to these memories for so long. It allowed me to let go of that trauma and really begin healing. I've quit smoking and drinking, and have started working out and tackling life. It feels like I've woken up.
Amen. Once the suppressed emotions came out as tears for me, the joyful kid I used to be literally woke back up. This is a part of me I forgot and never thought I would be capable of experiencing again. What I'm learning from studying my inner world and what is happening to me is remarkable. When traumatic experiences are too much for a child to comprehend, aspects of their awareness can disassociate and go unconscious so as to not have to feel the emotional pain they are unable to process and understand. For all of us growing up, brushing abuses under the rug seemed like the logical thing to do. Problem is, the unprocessed emotions get stored in the nervous system and deep into the subconscious where it silently pulls on someone's behavior for the rest of their life. The moment we dissociate in those high stress experiences is the moment we leave parts of our soul behind. This disassociation occurs the moment we don’t allow ourselves to feel and instead opt to suppress. This halts the healing process in its tracks where the energy is stored in the nervous system until ready. The suppression of unprocessed pain is incredibly damaging to human physiology and psychology. In suppressing the past we effectively lose ourselves in the past while brushing all the pain under the rug of a protective ego. While going within and uncovering these forgotten times in my childhood through FEELING (not just thinking), many tears have finally begun to fall. Each tear exposes more and more of my true childlike joyous self before the hurtful moments occurred. Like literally waking up from a bad dream. I can feel again. I feel love again. Incredible.
Growing up never having my feelings not only not validated but denied and squelched and contradicted has really messed me up as an adult. I have had to learn self love and esteem on my own while continued abuse by family members and by anyone I allowed to inflict toxic behavior my way. It took years to be okay or feeling worthy of or demanding and only allowing acceptable behavior from anyone in my life. And closing doors to harmful, abusive and mean people. I'm still healing!
This is deep stuff. It reminds me of the phrase "Shadow Work". Digging deep into ourselves and facing our demons. This made me realize I don't have a single friend I can talk to trustworthyly. When I try and confide in my my friends I get responses like: "Ok, ok, long story short." or they will start comparing my "issue" or trauma with their lives and try and "one up" me, or flat out tune me out and change the subject. I went to MHMR to try and get therapy and few years back and was told point blank they can't/won't be able to give me therapy, they can only diagnose and prescribe me pills. That's when I really realized I was on my own dealing with things I was going through. I feel I've came a long way, but one of the hardest things to do is sit and face our demons and trauma and face them head on with only our own shoulders to cry on. It's definitely a long arduous journey. Why I love watching Mr. Howes' interviews so much is because they often do force me to sit and think about things in my life that need to reflection on. These videos are priceless in my opinion. I will definitely try harder to be a lending ear to others. Some people will insist on focusing on everything negative or constantly complaining about things happening "to them" with out recognizing that sometimes things are happening to us because of cycles we continue to keep ourselves in, and also sometimes seeming rejections in our lives are protecting us from further heartache, I am guilty of it surely. I will let YT choose my videos a lot when I am cleaning or doing laundry and I'm so grateful there are so many of these helpful videos. I watch at least one School of Greatness video a day and they always always help me become more introspective. Just very recently I realized I had an aspect of mental vampirism, or rather I felt I needed someone in my life at all times to share my "pain" with, it was a very hard realization that I wasn't happy with who I AM. I'm slowly becoming more self-aware and learning to be happy with myself and sit and face with aspects of my life which are not productive for me and finding coping mechanisms for them. There's a quote: If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company. We all need connection with others, but protecting my positive energy from those who only wish drain me, and sharing my positive energy with those who are truly struggling is a balancing act. Smiling at strangers and not taking it personally if they scowl back. Helping others without hopes of reciprication. These are acts I had to conciously learn to like doing. To have true empathy. Thanks again for everything.
I just want to offer encouragement, like a true friend. I am so happy for you, and very proud of you, for your diligence and persistence in pursuit of helping yourself, even though you had no-one to bolster you, nor comfort you, when you truly needed someone to come along side you and say, “Keep up the good work. You are worth it.”
Yes, you must find new and better partners. Someone who is more empathetic and who will truly listen. A sibling, or someone new. I understand ❤️ Sadhguru, Papaji, Mooji, and Ekhart Tolle may also help you out. They can be great for spirituality ☺️ Yes, and keep continually looking deeper and deeper inside. Your well will become deeper, and as it does, your reflection will become more clear. The deeper my well becomes the clearer my cloudy reflection appears.
Ive told one of my siblings some stuff about my experience while growing up and although I sensed a superficial understanding, I was extremely upset when one day he insinuated I want people to feel sorry for me. I regret ever telling him anything about my experiences (even though I didn’t tell Him everything in detail) I feel there is no empathy coming from that side. That drove me into a deeper and different type of depression
You are a true warrior and like the Phoenix you will rise from the ashes. You are your own strength and there is always someone listening even if it’s the angels , god , spirit. You are inspirational that you were able to acknowledge your own journey and share your vulnerability. Thank you dear one and keep growing, love yourself completely and I pray you get the healing you need . Thank you for your 😊
I love what he said “Memories have meaning through emotions we’ve attached to them” wow. That is deep! If we’re going to heal from trauma, it’s important we give ourselves permission to heal. That is the first step to healing. To let go of the hurt and be open for healing to begin.
We are fascinating creatures, indeed. We can attach pain to a memory, and a period of time later, re-examine our beliefs surrounding the memory, and lo! and behold! Our new, genuinely inspired label reads “Blessing”! We can be re-made! re-invented! I love the fact that I have the ability to determine who I am, affectively determining my life. I know there are numerous factors that potentially contribute to ones identity; however every being, ultimately, holds the power to determine placement and value of each factor/experience/teaching❣️
The idea that certain childhood or adolescence experiences continue with us as we grow into adults is an idea that is gaining steam very quickly and I believe is an idea that if acted upon will be very beneficial for the people to whom it applies.
Dr. Conti should be developing school and university courses to teach this stuff. I have been working on myself and in therapy for years and I learned so much. Thank you for brining this information to TH-cam - it's going to make a difference to a lot of people.
This hit and sank in me... The trauma will change your whole life without you even realizing it... Until you understand yourself through therapy ❤️ thank you for talking about this topic! All the Best for you!
I found this interview very healing and encouraging for those who are dealing with shame around trauma. Thank you for your sensitive interview Lewis. I enjoyed listening to Paul. With gratitude, Marie-Louise
Nurse here, worked at many psych units. I notice most of the patients had bad childhoods, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect etc...very traumatic. A lot of them end up in drugs since they never learned how to cope with their trauma. Some develop mental disorders and end up institutionalized. The worst trauma was sexual abuse when they were kids...they end up very damaged....my heart breaks reading the charts. I just wish l could go back in time and take them away.
I like Paul Conti. What a good guy. He is genuine. I like his way. The information he is providing is fantastic. He says it in a way that makes sense. He is audible and clear yet sort of gentle and unassuming and just nice I guess and genuine. I like this guy a lot.
Thank you for addressing narcissism/trauma and the healing that needs to take place after the damage has been done. When I listened to this talk and others, I felt like a light bulb switched on! For so long (20+ years) , I have been confused about events in my early years. Just trying to understand WHY? And now, with the professionals you are interviewing and their research and insight, I can look back at my early years and start to put the pieces of the puzzle together. It is very hard to heal from something you don't understand. Thank you for shedding light on difficult subjects. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
Narsissism is believed, by circles of Christ-based believers, to be a demonic possession. We believe that spirits influence & use humans.. They work around, through and within ppl, subconsciously/ conciously open to them. These beliefs can parallel/ correlate to the psychiatric perspective, but doesn't end with it...I personally consider the psychiatric perspective is greatly limited because it widely excludes the apparent Spiritual side our exsistance & anatomy. I am the child of someone with this disorder/ spiritual possession..I've also v dated a few Narcs ( before waking up)... It's definitely demonic & known as the JEZEBEL spirit (aka Narsissism)..u may want to look into it. Narsissism & really ALL demonic spirits are Vampiric in nature... They don't feed & grow light, they feed ON LIGHT. Spiritual light, purity, goodness (demonic , right?!) There's a problem with how demonic possession has been portrayed, (usually in media)...It's commonly, NOT expressed with head spinning, pea soup spitting wall climbing acts; though it definitely can...The Everyday demonic influences, going on in this world, are expressed in Sinful behaviors & their excessive compulsions ECT. The conniving, lying, Manipulation, shaming, deflecting, emotional, physical, mental abuses of a Narc, are making how this Spirit can act ( there's definitely more attributes) With this understanding of the Vampiric nature of the Demonic, makes alot more sense of Christ-related weapons, that are always used in movies, " folklore" ECT., To fight, ward off/ defeat these beings...It's because Christ is the Solution & Spritual power NEEDED to truly combat the demons that are influencing ,tempting & basically ailing mankind. U cannot concur spiritual enemies by ANY physical means... Your weapons MUST BE spiritual as well, in opposition. ( See: Ephesians 6:10) If it wasn't for the Word & Spirit of God, I truly don't know how I'd deal.. Especially the deeper understanding I've gained, of what's happening on the Earth. Things aren't as they appear... There's much to shed, in false perspectives.. Humanity lacks the TRUE wisdoms of God. This is why Evil continues to gain ground & destruction grows worse. I highly suggest seeking God for HIS TRUTH & I'd definitely say go DIRECTLY to Him, in sincereity & faith..on your own & diligently wait for His response. He DOES SPEAK! I haven't been the same, since my first encounter & it wasn't through a pastor or preist..or in a church..I went DIRECTLY & inquired of the Almighty God , from my heart...I asked for The TRUTH, Not MY TRUTH ( as ppl commonly say these days).. I wanted Absolute TRUTH..and had a supernatural encounter with The Holy Spirit. I was born Again by this Spirit, whole alone & camping. No theatrics/ peer pressure...a genuine profound encounter..it lead me to the Bible & my eyes were opened...I try to tell everyone, to seek the SPIRIT of God FIRST & DIRECTLY.. Because many corrupt ppl, continually misrepresent Christ..Many. I understood a lot better after this experience. To realize Christ didn't lie...& His word has been the TRUTH!? Priceless.
I didn't realize that I was living with past personal trauma until watching this video. I appreciate the suggestion of examining my own narrative___ How I view myself and explore the root cause behind many of my negative opinions. I like the idea of journaling my feelings and voicing them aloud in the privacy of my home. Thank you.
My daughter's suicide broke me wide open and from the ground I rose up decided my healing had to be massive . I had to make my life more meaningful because she no longer had that option. After multiple traumas i rewired my brain 🧠 🙃
Listening to the intelligence, wisdom and open honesty (Lewis) of these two men should inspire us all into action. How benificial and interesting it would be to learn about "ourselves" in schools. Basic skills to understanding self, mind, body and soul could only benifit and empower each individual. Just like basic First Aid.........should also be taught in schools.
I have felt a lot of rejection and self worthlessness in my life. I've often wondered what is so good about me that anyone would want to like me. I could never think of anything worthwhile. I turned that around and thought, Why so I like this person or that person, and many times I would say to myself, I don't know why I like them, I just do, there is just something nice about them. That kind of answer doesn't always provide a decent response, but sometimes it is just the truth, we don't know exactly why we like people or why we don't like them. I then began to consider myself in that area, and came to the conclusion I am just like the majority of people - likable. I'm kind hearted, empathetic, compassionate, caring etc and there are other people like that too. Everyone is likable, although some choose to behave in an unpleasant way, and that is when we don't like them. In reality it's more the behaviour or attitude we don't like then the actual person, but they both simply filter together.
Trauma is awful, interupts my sleep once or twice a week easily but I'm exploring things that work. Wim Hof breathing/yoga/exercise helps the anxiety, therapy exploring the past helps the source. Sometimes I have literally 10 hours dark and quiet to sleep and get only 2 of them outside of a massive episode, it's like a really bad psychedelic trip.
@ Dusk Wim Hof breathing is awesome. Funny I think I’ve healed from it just to experience more it gets old. At this point idk if I can heal from any of it. I seek the help I need then I work on healing. I am better then someone comes into my life to deal some more out. Exhausting
I was in first grade. It was very cold, and snow was on the ground. It was announced that unless our parents had asked us to remain inside during play time, we would have to go to play ground. I was the only child that went out. I stood against the wall of the school. It wasn’t long that I was so cold and crying. I felt so foolish. I still remember that incident.
Holy hell this was hard to listen to but I am going to get through the whole thing. I am writing notes like a madwoman. What a great interview. Thank you for sharing this. I was traumatized by my boyfriend when I was 14.. then about 7 yrs ago by my ex. I'm now 49. I have been in therapy since I was 14 or 15. It saved my life. We need to feel to heal. Sending strength and love ❤ to everyone who has had this in their lives. There is a way out.. you just have to put in the work.
Very interesting a past friend of mine said ppl like her can spot someone like me out of a crowd of 50 thousand. I was confused at first but she was saying she one of them ppl always looking for someone to use. It’s sad I have had endless trauma at this point but I always think the best of ppl. It is crazy how many ppl really are not good ppl in this world.
Great interview! So glad to see this conversation between 2 loving men. As a trauma recovery advocate who overcame past lived experience of trauma-based mental illness, we need this topic of true recovery to be everywhere as a planet!
I had narcissist divorce parents who neglected and abandoned me. Bully as a kid. Let men use me because i needed someone to hug me. Then I married a malignant narcissist for 13 years. He thankful left me. I’m looking for a job and i didn’t understand why i have such anxiety and panic and think negative thoughts while trying to write a stupid resume. At least I know now what’s going on with me. I’m so glad I watched this.
Sorry to hear about what you went through. Some people should never have kids. The only way for you to heal is to forgive. It's a must in order for you to find peace. May the Heavenly Father heal you and give you strength. 🙏❤
you know, malignant narcissist isn't a term to throw around with, it's as scary of a personality can get and if that is really the case, after a mindblowing 13 years, you really need professional help to recover. Cptsd, trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, quite a bunch of issues are possibly going on. I am very sorry this happened to you. However, I am afraid that this video will do little in such a case. Don't underestimate the damage of narcissistic abuse, especially when it started in childhood.
I literally censored myself for decades with regard to my trauma. Because it was rape/sexual assault and people don't want to discuss it due to of a whole host of different reasons. It took me almost my whole life to finally get therapy and start to deal with all the shame and fear associated with it and begin healing. No one (my family or friends) ever understood my PTSD/OCD/anxiety episodes that grew out of all of it. They assumed it was just who I was. No one ever asked me the most important question. Which was, "What happened to You?" Encouraged by my therapist, I ended up writing a memoir about it all. This was a huge way for me to purge so much that I had held in. It ended up being a very cathartic act. Trauma is real. Unfortunately a great number of people don't understand how it can last a lifetime and permeate every aspect of your life. The struggle is real. Even now. I still deal with the fallout. But in therapy I learned coping mechanisms and strategies to help me in ways I never knew existed.
Thank you, Lewis Howes for tackling the deeper, more "difficult" issues sprinkled throughout our society! Your videos have definitely enhanced my healing process! Keep going! 🙌🏾💚👏🏾
Trauma will change a person's mineral balance (body chemistry). I see it when I do people's hair mineral analysis. When they do the nutrition program which helps them detox it will release trauma stored in the body. You can also work on letting go through spiritual work. Both will shift a person's body chemistry. It's very fascinating to see this on hair tests. I even see it in families when they are working together to heal.
@@zam0674 I wouldn't do that every day because it also pulls out the minerals. Coffee enemas are better because they help the liver release glutathione.
Thank you SO SO much. Paul Conti is a true blessing. He talks with such a loving gratitude. One of the most important topics of our time. We get ruled by traumatized people.
This session w/ Paul Conti was highly informative. He went in-depth and extracted some gems that many informative psychologists have not revealed about the WHYs
A very good interview . I appreciate both of you very much. I am entering alcohol recovery next week I am 64 years old . I did a lot of therapy growing up I thought I was safe to live a more fulfilling life. Well not so much. I am in a 30 year relationship that now that our boys are grown and out of the house I realize I chose same conditions of narcissism and neglect. I never knew that neglect was a form of abuse.
And neglect comes in many disguises. The workaholic… The alcoholic/addict… The depressed… the strong/silent type… The avoidant … The busy busy so very busy…
Took a alot od courage to share. I appreciate you! One my things was taking it personally and trying to become better so they could love me. I was so clueless that I thought it was my fault because I was not good enough for them. The better I thought I was the worst it got. And of course what was lacking was self love, self respect, and knowing my worth. Waking up is a fucking trip!!!!
Trauma comes to us all in varying levels/amounts. My severe trauma started when I was 4 yrs old and many many other kinds/times over my life. This is helpful. I too found myself serving others and have pushed myself to be vulnerable/transparent to help others.
Thanks for the video coz reality is no one in the world is really spared from trauma. Why not let's all work together starting at the root. We are slaves of our religions, governments, and the elites who think they own us. Thanks so much, Mr Howes and Dr Conti for imparting to us knowledge .
Perseverance and humility. Best answer to your “What is greatness?” question. Made me tear up after this amazing talk about trauma. What a great a human being. Will definitely check out his book. Love you Lewis!
I have the gene for Resilience if I’m understanding him correctly. So glad I heard this love to be positive. He makes me want to be a therapist . So many people need help to be a little happy 😊 anytime during the day .
I appreciate both if you gentlemen for this transparent conversation. I really don't know how to heal this trauma but I know it needs to be healed. Thank you for giving me insight on where to start. 💛
Lewis, Dr. Contó, extremely valuable content in this conversation❣️ Thank you for bringing this conversation/information to me, and the world. Dr. Conti’s compassionate wisdom and knowledge is/will be very very helpful.
Always see a psychologist before you see a psychiatrist... I got really screwed up taking meds when I was dx with PTSD, in the army. Meditation and self awareness hasn't been a cure, but it has definitely helped a lot more than my psychiatrists did.
I had to learn how to express my trauma myself. I was definitely a person that felt ashamed to tell people what I was going through. But, once I stared to open things changed dramatically for me.
Lewis…. I just want to say,… you are by far the best interviewer??.. your timing is perfect… and your ability to be genuine and candid is artful…. Just wanted to tell you that….
After a lifetime of international experience I finally have a measure of understanding of what lies at the core of human dysfunction, the insanity of war, and the threat to our future existence: unresolved trauma.
Some, most people equate music with events in their lives. If the events were traumatic they will not enjoy all forms if music, the music brings back memories that cause a hurricane if emotions, yes. So classical music is better than soft rock from teenage years, etc. Just thought it important to look at the flip side. Therefore, I enjoy many kinds of music. It isn't always the instrumental...it's the words that trigger negative memories
Truth that someone who is healed/healthy/non-trauma etc would not argue or taken action etc for the sake go being "right" and in fact would sacrifice "being right" for the sake of a friendship or grace of another inn the moment, etc. Great to pay attention to in interactions, lots of opportunity to help healing along if you sense it.
Beautiful, Lewis, just beautiful. You bring so many important and helpful discussions to the table. And Dr. Conti is such a lovely, gentle, caring soul. What a treat this episode was for me!
Wow my son is in psychosis and I know he doesn’t have any syndrome. He was severely bullied at 14/15 and he was never the same after it. And how in psychosis. This is it!!! Amazing doctor!
I took a different approach to trauma… that gets the same end result. I decided to move from the area where I had so much trauma and in the move I made some choices that led me to realize I was being controlled by trauma but it also helped me to wake up and that is the best thing so now for REAL healing to begin … which I moved three years ago. So the initial move didn’t magically work but eventually I had to look at myself and correct some of the trauma thinking patterns and this is very exciting even though I wanted it to be faster. I have learned it’s a lifestyle not an instant fix.
Great interview. Dr Paul Conti has a wealth of valuable knowledge concerning trauma/mental health. Would be great to bring more great minds like him together to create a standardized program in schools to help children/teens address trauma and abuse.
This was so enlightening! I come from a long lineage of family suicide so I have often thought whether this is a trauma gene passed down. I have some low grade depression around abandonment yet have a robust health program for myself and have no addictions. Im also very curious to learn about my conditioning and triggers so I think this has really helped me navigate. Based on this dialogue I think I have the resilience gene as well! So thank goodness for that!
One day I realized there is no such thing as healing . Once I saw THAT , I was fully healed . This is paradoxical. When I was traumatized I was standing here breathing , and when I was healed I was still just standing here breathing . So simple and so profound. Even my physical pain almost completely dissolved .
Credit to you Lewis, this interview stopped me in my tracks and held my attention from beginning to end... And...Thank you both for how you navigated such a difficult, far reaching subject 🙏 much appreciated. It resonated on so many levels and offered some much needed and appreciated perspectives... Thanks for that too...🐛🦋💡💓🕊 xxx
Wow this guy gets it. I sought help for my chronic depression and a very insightful counselor made me realize depression may not be the primary issue when I told her I could not relate to the other participants in the depression group therapy. After talking with her, she suggested maybe attending the trauma group and when I did it all clicked as what they were saying was exactly what I was feeling. For me depression was only a symptom, trauma is the cause. If not for that counselor, I would have continued to try addressing only the symptom in vain.
It feels like the shame that arises is because we tell ourselves that we would not have been hurt or abused or traumatized because in some way, we are causal-- especially as a child, we feel that it would not have happened or continue to happen if in some way we were not causal, even being inherently not good enough or else we would have been loved or seen or understood. Children take on so much emotional responsibility because it is also very traumatic to see that, for example, a parent is hurtful or abusive because we are so dependent upon them.
1:08:42 ... feeling on guard... wow! I can personally resonate with that sooo much. That is literally the thing that I have always felt my whole life and every time someone asked me why I'm depressed it was always that - being tired from constantly trying to shield myself in every aspect of my life.. I think the major factors that contributed into developing this sort of response were mostly being bullied at school, coming from poorer background and having to hide my sexuality for most of my life. Even after things got better for me it did not help in any way internally, as Paul said about carrying the burden/trauma I think it did apply to me very prominently. I'm 32 now and recently I have been heavily depressed probably because all the traumatic events that have been buried for years finally surfaced and wanted to be dealt with. It was expressed as reoccurring dreams - which I think is a very interesting phenomenon that I is not mentioned enough when it comes to mental health and dealing with trauma. I had been having this dream consistently on nearly daily basis for over three years (yes three years!!!), same pattern and scenario every time, maybe sometimes executed differently but still very stencil-esque. It was me in my hometown, normally in my flat or in my room feeling very hopeless and every time I wanted to try to go back where I live now same thing happened - either I missed the flight, lost train ticket, taxi driver didn't turn up, bus driver took the wrong route etc. Same scenario over and over... It was really frustrating for me as I couldn't really discern the true message in this dream... Luckily I haven't had it for a very long time and I think the reason is that I have realised the true message or remnants of it... The message was something that I was dreading to acknowledge and scared to admit .... - you're stuck in the past.
Lewis, you always ask such great questions of your guests...what a awesome interviewer you are! I absolutely LOVE your School of Greatness, I’ve learned so much. Thank you 😘
He sound like he's reading the diagnosis of the blueprint of my life. WOW, who is amazing individual. I want to get in his therapy program. Pls post me a link where I can contact him. Thanks
@@lewishowes I grew up with a narc mom and a brother. Mom passed but my brother I simply cut off. Your shows have helped me to think, forgive, and move on in peace.
I feel abandoned by my grandparents who left this world but it's not their fault. I feel abandoned by my parents, the father who left and the mother that had mental illnesses and was abusive, and I feel abandoned by the Light, that left us to Darkness, but I am healing myself and in doing so, I am healing Humankind. Bless you all 💞
My mom abandoned me me shortly after birth . Before my grandma forced her back to reluctant motherhood I was held and nutured by strangers and father. What kind of trauma would this tend to produce and how to overcome it? Over a lifetime have never found a therapist that addressed trauma. I came to think of them more as social workers with an RX pad.
@@lewishowes I appreciate that more than words can convey. It is certainly life altering but we all have those moments. I will do everything I can to honor him on a daily. His suicide pushed me to delve deeply into an innate interest in astrology. Now I am utilizing that esoteric knowledge combined with my love for the metaphysical benefits of crystals to break generational cycles. I am developing a jewelry line that can assist others in doing the same. One day I will be on a segment with you to explain it all. ☺ Sending Love and Light, Jess
So synchronicity would have it that, I just stumbled across this video 2 1/2 weeks after it aired. As a survivor of lifelong narcissistic abuse - the trauma it causes can make recovery very challenging. Unless you have a really good support system. (Or, you’re a very curious person and do the research not that there are tons of people talking openly about it in TH-cam). The havoc it causes on our sympathetic nervous symptom is incredible, it can and does cause autoimmune diseases - and overall health. Never mind mental health issues arising from the trauma of utter betrayal. MDs should be trained in this. My doctor has no idea about narcissistic abuse. She’s heard of it, but she isn’t versed in it - at all. I saw a medical doctor recently vs psychologist or psychiatrist because my endocrine system and thyroid needed testing. But, we all need to be able to talk to any doctor, so they can lead us on our way to the right therapy and therapists. But sometimes you don’t even know where to start. Because you don’t think people will believe you - nor feel “safe” to discuss the topic of trauma without being told to, “get over it”, or suck it up. Psychedelic therapy, psychedelic clinics on every street corner, can’t happen quickly enough. Trauma is a much larger problem in our society than people are aware of. Most of our parents were traumatized and pass that down via genetics, but much more-so in the way we were raised, which was not pretty for all of us. The chaos as a kid turned me into a highly sensitive person, HSP, and empath (didn’t know until this past year there was even a name for my level of empathy-which honestly feels like a curse-but need to turn it into a superpower. So many walking wounded out here. We’re all in this together, we need to support one and other - and not minimize someone else’s grief or trauma. The world will be such a beautiful place if we start to heal - collectively. Edit: April 11, 2022. So, as an update, I was able to get help through my medical doctor, and she truly saved my life. She did prescribe me antidepressants, because I was so depressed I didn’t even realize I was so depressed. Also discovered through research that I had ADD ADHD-so have been given Adderall, which has been a game changer-it really saved my life. It’s a low dose, but the difference is astonishing and amazing! I needed this dump of dopamine to help alter my habits and create good ones. Just re-reading my comment again, because I had forgotten I even left it here a couple months ago and saw that someone liked it and had a notification, but I can see how out of it I was. I think so many people end up developing ADD or ADHD as a survival mechanism. You get scattered all over the place because you’re just trying to survive day to day. Anyway, I wanted to leave that good news. Haven’t felt this good in YEARS!
I recently dove deep into some of my trauma. It was very painful but I realized why I had clung to these memories for so long. It allowed me to let go of that trauma and really begin healing. I've quit smoking and drinking, and have started working out and tackling life. It feels like I've woken up.
Amen. Once the suppressed emotions came out as tears for me, the joyful kid I used to be literally woke back up. This is a part of me I forgot and never thought I would be capable of experiencing again. What I'm learning from studying my inner world and what is happening to me is remarkable. When traumatic experiences are too much for a child to comprehend, aspects of their awareness can disassociate and go unconscious so as to not have to feel the emotional pain they are unable to process and understand. For all of us growing up, brushing abuses under the rug seemed like the logical thing to do. Problem is, the unprocessed emotions get stored in the nervous system and deep into the subconscious where it silently pulls on someone's behavior for the rest of their life. The moment we dissociate in those high stress experiences is the moment we leave parts of our soul behind. This disassociation occurs the moment we don’t allow ourselves to feel and instead opt to suppress. This halts the healing process in its tracks where the energy is stored in the nervous system until ready. The suppression of unprocessed pain is incredibly damaging to human physiology and psychology. In suppressing the past we effectively lose ourselves in the past while brushing all the pain under the rug of a protective ego. While going within and uncovering these forgotten times in my childhood through FEELING (not just thinking), many tears have finally begun to fall. Each tear exposes more and more of my true childlike joyous self before the hurtful moments occurred. Like literally waking up from a bad dream. I can feel again. I feel love again. Incredible.
@@Corey-gb1rx Thanks to God you are healing. Forgiveness is a good start. I you heard John Newton clearing ? He is amazing 👏 Blessings
@@dennisdelfina Thank you I'll check him out
Kudos to you ! I am proud of you to deal with it .. I am working on it at 60.. always felt unloved but it’s not that I am unloved, I can’t feel it .
Wonderful for you.
Growing up never having my feelings not only not validated but denied and squelched and contradicted has really messed me up as an adult. I have had to learn self love and esteem on my own while continued abuse by family members and by anyone I allowed to inflict toxic behavior my way. It took years to be okay or feeling worthy of or demanding and only allowing acceptable behavior from anyone in my life. And closing doors to harmful, abusive and mean people. I'm still healing!
Praying the Lord Jesus for you. He is the lover of our soul!!
Thankyou for sharing ,it helps me.wishing you joy and peace 💗
Glad you broke through the projections that people were placing on your pure innocence❤❤❤
Keep up the good work...
This sounds a lot like me. I'm still learning about trauma, dealing with feelings of guilt, shame and inadequacy. It feels like it's not going to end.
This is deep stuff. It reminds me of the phrase "Shadow Work". Digging deep into ourselves and facing our demons. This made me realize I don't have a single friend I can talk to trustworthyly. When I try and confide in my my friends I get responses like: "Ok, ok, long story short." or they will start comparing my "issue" or trauma with their lives and try and "one up" me, or flat out tune me out and change the subject. I went to MHMR to try and get therapy and few years back and was told point blank they can't/won't be able to give me therapy, they can only diagnose and prescribe me pills. That's when I really realized I was on my own dealing with things I was going through. I feel I've came a long way, but one of the hardest things to do is sit and face our demons and trauma and face them head on with only our own shoulders to cry on. It's definitely a long arduous journey. Why I love watching Mr. Howes' interviews so much is because they often do force me to sit and think about things in my life that need to reflection on. These videos are priceless in my opinion. I will definitely try harder to be a lending ear to others. Some people will insist on focusing on everything negative or constantly complaining about things happening "to them" with out recognizing that sometimes things are happening to us because of cycles we continue to keep ourselves in, and also sometimes seeming rejections in our lives are protecting us from further heartache, I am guilty of it surely. I will let YT choose my videos a lot when I am cleaning or doing laundry and I'm so grateful there are so many of these helpful videos. I watch at least one School of Greatness video a day and they always always help me become more introspective. Just very recently I realized I had an aspect of mental vampirism, or rather I felt I needed someone in my life at all times to share my "pain" with, it was a very hard realization that I wasn't happy with who I AM. I'm slowly becoming more self-aware and learning to be happy with myself and sit and face with aspects of my life which are not productive for me and finding coping mechanisms for them. There's a quote: If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company. We all need connection with others, but protecting my positive energy from those who only wish drain me, and sharing my positive energy with those who are truly struggling is a balancing act. Smiling at strangers and not taking it personally if they scowl back. Helping others without hopes of reciprication. These are acts I had to conciously learn to like doing. To have true empathy. Thanks again for everything.
I just want to offer encouragement, like a true friend. I am so happy for you, and very proud of you, for your diligence and persistence in pursuit of helping yourself, even though you had no-one to bolster you, nor comfort you, when you truly needed someone to come along side you and say, “Keep up the good work. You are worth it.”
Yes, you must find new and better partners. Someone who is more empathetic and who will truly listen. A sibling, or someone new. I understand ❤️
Sadhguru, Papaji, Mooji, and Ekhart Tolle may also help you out. They can be great for spirituality ☺️
Yes, and keep continually looking deeper and deeper inside. Your well will become deeper, and as it does, your reflection will become more clear. The deeper my well becomes the clearer my cloudy reflection appears.
Jordan Peterson is good and he has an episode about true friends that I hope you take a look at.
Ive told one of my siblings some stuff about my experience while growing up and although I sensed a superficial understanding, I was extremely upset when one day he insinuated I want people to feel sorry for me. I regret ever telling him anything about my experiences (even though I didn’t tell
Him everything in detail) I feel there is no empathy coming from that side. That drove me into a deeper and different type of depression
You are a true warrior and like the Phoenix you will rise from the ashes. You are your own strength and there is always someone listening even if it’s the angels , god , spirit. You are inspirational that you were able to acknowledge your own journey and share your vulnerability. Thank you dear one and keep growing, love yourself completely and I pray you get the healing you need . Thank you for your 😊
Healing is a bold spiritual process where we become aware of our deep inner world and transform pain into blessings, peace 🌈✨
I love what he said “Memories have meaning through emotions we’ve attached to them” wow. That is deep! If we’re going to heal from trauma, it’s important we give ourselves permission to heal. That is the first step to healing. To let go of the hurt and be open for healing to begin.
We need to know its just memory, non tangible, formless, let it go xx
Forgiveness is a good start. Blessings 🙏
Acceptance = forgiveness
Detachment = non- desire, expectation, possession, judgement
Surrender = faith
❤️❤️❤️
We are fascinating creatures, indeed. We can attach pain to a memory, and a period of time later, re-examine our beliefs surrounding the memory, and lo! and behold! Our new, genuinely inspired label reads “Blessing”!
We can be re-made! re-invented!
I love the fact that I have the ability to determine who I am, affectively determining my life.
I know there are numerous factors that potentially contribute to ones identity; however every being, ultimately, holds the power to determine placement and value of each factor/experience/teaching❣️
The idea that certain childhood or adolescence experiences continue with us as we grow into adults is an idea that is gaining steam very quickly and I believe is an idea that if acted upon will be very beneficial for the people to whom it applies.
Dr. Conti should be developing school and university courses to teach this stuff. I have been working on myself and in therapy for years and I learned so much. Thank you for brining this information to TH-cam - it's going to make a difference to a lot of people.
❤❤❤❤
This hit and sank in me... The trauma will change your whole life without you even realizing it... Until you understand yourself through therapy ❤️ thank you for talking about this topic! All the Best for you!
I found this interview very healing and encouraging for those who are dealing with shame around trauma. Thank you for your sensitive interview Lewis. I enjoyed listening to Paul. With gratitude, Marie-Louise
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
I agree.
Me as well.
@@shannahighsmith1179 it takes skill to handle these kind of issues. Lovely to be able to listen to this high quality kind of communication. ❤️
Nurse here, worked at many psych units. I notice most of the patients had bad childhoods, sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect etc...very traumatic. A lot of them end up in drugs since they never learned how to cope with their trauma. Some develop mental disorders and end up institutionalized. The worst trauma was sexual abuse when they were kids...they end up very damaged....my heart breaks reading the charts. I just wish l could go back in time and take them away.
I like Paul Conti. What a good guy. He is genuine. I like his way. The information he is providing is fantastic. He says it in a way that makes sense. He is audible and clear yet sort of gentle and unassuming and just nice I guess and genuine. I like this guy a lot.
I agree 👍 💯
Thank you for addressing narcissism/trauma and the healing that needs to take place after the damage has been done. When I listened to this talk and others, I felt like a light bulb switched on! For so long (20+ years) , I have been confused about events in my early years. Just trying to understand WHY? And now, with the professionals you are interviewing and their research and insight, I can look back at my early years and start to put the pieces of the puzzle together. It is very hard to heal from something you don't understand. Thank you for shedding light on difficult subjects. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
Narsissism is believed, by circles of Christ-based believers, to be a demonic possession. We believe that spirits influence & use humans.. They work around, through and within ppl, subconsciously/ conciously open to them. These beliefs can parallel/ correlate to the psychiatric perspective, but doesn't end with it...I personally consider the psychiatric perspective is greatly limited because it widely excludes the apparent Spiritual side our exsistance & anatomy.
I am the child of someone with this disorder/ spiritual possession..I've also v dated a few Narcs ( before waking up)... It's definitely demonic & known as the JEZEBEL spirit (aka Narsissism)..u may want to look into it. Narsissism & really ALL demonic spirits are Vampiric in nature... They don't feed & grow light, they feed ON LIGHT. Spiritual light, purity, goodness (demonic , right?!)
There's a problem with how demonic possession has been portrayed, (usually in media)...It's commonly, NOT expressed with head spinning, pea soup spitting wall climbing acts; though it definitely can...The Everyday demonic influences, going on in this world, are expressed in Sinful behaviors & their excessive compulsions ECT. The conniving, lying, Manipulation, shaming, deflecting, emotional, physical, mental abuses of a Narc, are making how this Spirit can act ( there's definitely more attributes)
With this understanding of the Vampiric nature of the Demonic, makes alot more sense of Christ-related weapons, that are always used in movies, " folklore" ECT., To fight, ward off/ defeat these beings...It's because Christ is the Solution & Spritual power NEEDED to truly combat the demons that are influencing ,tempting & basically ailing mankind.
U cannot concur spiritual enemies by ANY physical means... Your weapons MUST BE spiritual as well, in opposition.
( See: Ephesians 6:10)
If it wasn't for the Word & Spirit of God, I truly don't know how I'd deal.. Especially the deeper understanding I've gained, of what's happening on the Earth. Things aren't as they appear... There's much to shed, in false perspectives.. Humanity lacks the TRUE wisdoms of God. This is why Evil continues to gain ground & destruction grows worse. I highly suggest seeking God for HIS TRUTH & I'd definitely say go DIRECTLY to Him, in sincereity & faith..on your own & diligently wait for His response. He DOES SPEAK!
I haven't been the same, since my first encounter & it wasn't through a pastor or preist..or in a church..I went DIRECTLY & inquired of the Almighty God , from my heart...I asked for The TRUTH, Not MY TRUTH ( as ppl commonly say these days)..
I wanted Absolute TRUTH..and had a supernatural encounter with The Holy Spirit. I was born Again by this Spirit, whole alone & camping. No theatrics/ peer pressure...a genuine profound encounter..it lead me to the Bible & my eyes were opened...I try to tell everyone, to seek the SPIRIT of God FIRST & DIRECTLY.. Because many corrupt ppl, continually misrepresent Christ..Many. I understood a lot better after this experience. To realize Christ didn't lie...& His word has been the TRUTH!? Priceless.
I didn't realize that I was living with past personal trauma until watching this video.
I appreciate the suggestion of examining my own narrative___ How I view myself and explore the root cause behind many of my negative opinions.
I like the idea of journaling my feelings and voicing them aloud in the privacy of my home. Thank you.
U get the best guests and ask the best questions. Never miss an episode! Our heads are so messed up!
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to leave me a review here:
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My daughter's suicide broke me wide open and from the ground I rose up decided my healing had to be massive . I had to make my life more meaningful because she no longer had that option. After multiple traumas i rewired my brain 🧠 🙃
I love you
How did you rewire your brain? And I’m sorry to hear about your daughter x
Listening to the intelligence, wisdom and open honesty (Lewis) of these two men should inspire us all into action.
How benificial and interesting it would be to learn about "ourselves" in schools. Basic skills to understanding self, mind, body and soul could only benifit and empower each individual. Just like basic First Aid.........should also be taught in schools.
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
I have felt a lot of rejection and self worthlessness in my life. I've often wondered what is so good about me that anyone would want to like me. I could never think of anything worthwhile. I turned that around and thought, Why so I like this person or that person, and many times I would say to myself, I don't know why I like them, I just do, there is just something nice about them. That kind of answer doesn't always provide a decent response, but sometimes it is just the truth, we don't know exactly why we like people or why we don't like them. I then began to consider myself in that area, and came to the conclusion I am just like the majority of people - likable. I'm kind hearted, empathetic, compassionate, caring etc and there are other people like that too. Everyone is likable, although some choose to behave in an unpleasant way, and that is when we don't like them. In reality it's more the behaviour or attitude we don't like then the actual person, but they both simply filter together.
"Memories have meaning through the emotions we have attached to them" ❤️
Trauma is awful, interupts my sleep once or twice a week easily but I'm exploring things that work. Wim Hof breathing/yoga/exercise helps the anxiety, therapy exploring the past helps the source. Sometimes I have literally 10 hours dark and quiet to sleep and get only 2 of them outside of a massive episode, it's like a really bad psychedelic trip.
@ Dusk Wim Hof breathing is awesome. Funny I think I’ve healed from it just to experience more it gets old. At this point idk if I can heal from any of it. I seek the help I need then I work on healing. I am better then someone comes into my life to deal some more out. Exhausting
try listening to John Moyer as you sleep. Hope it helps
I was in first grade. It was very cold, and snow was on the ground. It was announced that unless our parents had asked us to remain inside during play time, we would have to go to play ground. I was the only child that went out. I stood against the wall of the school. It wasn’t long that I was so cold and crying. I felt so foolish. I still remember that incident.
Holy hell this was hard to listen to but I am going to get through the whole thing. I am writing notes like a madwoman. What a great interview. Thank you for sharing this. I was traumatized by my boyfriend when I was 14.. then about 7 yrs ago by my ex. I'm now 49. I have been in therapy since I was 14 or 15. It saved my life. We need to feel to heal. Sending strength and love ❤ to everyone who has had this in their lives. There is a way out.. you just have to put in the work.
Greasy channel bruv ! I love how u talk about every topic here. Keep it up ! And I hope everyone chasing their purpose daily this year 🙌🏿
👍
Very interesting a past friend of mine said ppl like her can spot someone like me out of a crowd of 50 thousand. I was confused at first but she was saying she one of them ppl always looking for someone to use. It’s sad I have had endless trauma at this point but I always think the best of ppl. It is crazy how many ppl really are not good ppl in this world.
I agree 👍
It makes it hard to believe in anyone.
You thinking the best of people shows what a beautifull soul you are
It is in the way one walks n hold oneself. Manipulators can spot people with low self-esteem
@@cherylm5002 And self worth.
Great interview! So glad to see this conversation between 2 loving men. As a trauma recovery advocate who overcame past lived experience of trauma-based mental illness, we need this topic of true recovery to be everywhere as a planet!
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
I had narcissist divorce parents who neglected and abandoned me. Bully as a kid. Let men use me because i needed someone to hug me. Then I married a malignant narcissist for 13 years. He thankful left me. I’m looking for a job and i didn’t understand why i have such anxiety and panic and think negative thoughts while trying to write a stupid resume. At least I know now what’s going on with me. I’m so glad I watched this.
Sorry to hear about what you went through. Some people should never have kids. The only way for you to heal is to forgive. It's a must in order for you to find peace. May the Heavenly Father heal you and give you strength. 🙏❤
you know, malignant narcissist isn't a term to throw around with, it's as scary of a personality can get and if that is really the case, after a mindblowing 13 years, you really need professional help to recover. Cptsd, trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, quite a bunch of issues are possibly going on. I am very sorry this happened to you. However, I am afraid that this video will do little in such a case. Don't underestimate the damage of narcissistic abuse, especially when it started in childhood.
I literally censored myself for decades with regard to my trauma. Because it was rape/sexual assault and people don't want to discuss it due to of a whole host of different reasons. It took me almost my whole life to finally get therapy and start to deal with all the shame and fear associated with it and begin healing. No one (my family or friends) ever understood my PTSD/OCD/anxiety episodes that grew out of all of it. They assumed it was just who I was. No one ever asked me the most important question. Which was, "What happened to You?" Encouraged by my therapist, I ended up writing a memoir about it all. This was a huge way for me to purge so much that I had held in. It ended up being a very cathartic act. Trauma is real. Unfortunately a great number of people don't understand how it can last a lifetime and permeate every aspect of your life. The struggle is real. Even now. I still deal with the fallout. But in therapy I learned coping mechanisms and strategies to help me in ways I never knew existed.
Thank you, Lewis Howes for tackling the deeper, more "difficult" issues sprinkled throughout our society! Your videos have definitely enhanced my healing process! Keep going! 🙌🏾💚👏🏾
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
Trauma will change a person's mineral balance (body chemistry). I see it when I do people's hair mineral analysis. When they do the nutrition program which helps them detox it will release trauma stored in the body. You can also work on letting go through spiritual work. Both will shift a person's body chemistry. It's very fascinating to see this on hair tests. I even see it in families when they are working together to heal.
Everyday I do the charcoal and clay detox it's incredible
@@zam0674 I wouldn't do that every day because it also pulls out the minerals. Coffee enemas are better because they help the liver release glutathione.
Trauma changes how our nervous system functions. That’s we have triggers in the present.
That’s so true!!!
Lies this is just and excuse to not be an adult and use trauma to manipulate everyone but yourself.
Thank you SO SO much. Paul Conti is a true blessing. He talks with such a loving gratitude. One of the most important topics of our time. We get ruled by traumatized people.
Lewis, you should totally upload a separate video clip of Dr. Conti explaining narcissism starting at 54:28. Wow.
This session w/ Paul Conti was highly informative. He went in-depth and extracted some gems that many informative psychologists have not revealed about the WHYs
A very good interview . I appreciate both of you very much. I am entering alcohol recovery next week I am 64 years old . I did a lot of therapy growing up I thought I was safe to live a more fulfilling life. Well not so much. I am in a 30 year relationship that now that our boys are grown and out of the house I realize I chose same conditions of narcissism and neglect. I never knew that neglect was a form of abuse.
🧡
And neglect comes in many disguises.
The workaholic…
The alcoholic/addict…
The depressed…
the strong/silent type…
The avoidant …
The busy busy so very busy…
I am glad deep and real conversations are trending in the last year or two. This is the true expression of love and caring
I really appreciate this discussion. Never heard of Paul Conti but I really respect him now. Thank you Lewis.
Dr. Conti really knows what he´s talking about. Big congratulations to Lewis for being such a deep and good interviewer.
Loving your self and self care will help in trauma love yourself go within in and heal medication is only a bandage
Took a alot od courage to share. I appreciate you! One my things was taking it personally and trying to become better so they could love me. I was so clueless that I thought it was my fault because I was not good enough for them. The better I thought I was the worst it got. And of course what was lacking was self love, self respect, and knowing my worth. Waking up is a fucking trip!!!!
Trauma comes to us all in varying levels/amounts. My severe trauma started when I was 4 yrs old and many many other kinds/times over my life. This is helpful. I too found myself serving others and have pushed myself to be vulnerable/transparent to help others.
Thanks for the video coz reality is no one in the world is really spared from trauma. Why not let's all work together starting at the root. We are slaves of our religions, governments, and the elites who think they own us. Thanks so much, Mr Howes and Dr Conti for imparting to us knowledge .
Well said 👏 👌 👍
Well said
I love this doctor. Thank you Lewis.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
Perseverance and humility. Best answer to your “What is greatness?” question. Made me tear up after this amazing talk about trauma. What a great a human being. Will definitely check out his book. Love you Lewis!
Yes, the person is living in a hurricane and doesn’t even know it. Even simply recognizing the discomfort is a huge step
1:07:06 I opened about my trauma, I'll never forgive myself for that. Vulnerability leads to more *abuse*
I have the gene for Resilience if I’m understanding him correctly. So glad I heard this love to be positive. He makes me want to be a therapist . So many people need help to be a little happy 😊 anytime during the day .
Lewis I love your shows they have helped so many people . This is the Best teaching I have ever heard on this subject of self healing . Thank you x
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
I appreciate both if you gentlemen for this transparent conversation. I really don't know how to heal this trauma but I know it needs to be healed. Thank you for giving me insight on where to start. 💛
Lewis, Dr. Contó, extremely valuable content in this conversation❣️ Thank you for bringing this conversation/information to me, and the world. Dr. Conti’s compassionate wisdom and knowledge is/will be very very helpful.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
You're so inspiring Lewis! Thanks for all you do!💕
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
Always see a psychologist before you see a psychiatrist... I got really screwed up taking meds when I was dx with PTSD, in the army. Meditation and self awareness hasn't been a cure, but it has definitely helped a lot more than my psychiatrists did.
I had to learn how to express my trauma myself. I was definitely a person that felt ashamed to tell people what I was going through. But, once I stared to open things changed dramatically for me.
Lewis…. I just want to say,… you are by far the best interviewer??.. your timing is perfect… and your ability to be genuine and candid is artful…. Just wanted to tell you that….
Appreciate you! 🙏
After a lifetime of international experience I finally have a measure of understanding of what lies at the core of human dysfunction, the insanity of war, and the threat to our future existence: unresolved trauma.
Thank you Lewis. This is how I have thought 20 years
Some, most people equate music with events in their lives. If the events were traumatic they will not enjoy all forms if music, the music brings back memories that cause a hurricane if emotions, yes. So classical music is better than soft rock from teenage years, etc. Just thought it important to look at the flip side. Therefore, I enjoy many kinds of music. It isn't always the instrumental...it's the words that trigger negative memories
What a great therapist, wish I could find someone like this.
Truth that someone who is healed/healthy/non-trauma etc would not argue or taken action etc for the sake go being "right" and in fact would sacrifice "being right" for the sake of a friendship or grace of another inn the moment, etc. Great to pay attention to in interactions, lots of opportunity to help healing along if you sense it.
I am Loving
I am loveable
I am deserving
I am ok
All trama is over 🙏
I have always been so abuse when I was growing up even my family for years they take advantage of me
I’m always impressed by the interviewers skills, out of all the podcasts, I really enjoy Lewis the best. Informative and interesting
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
What a beneficial listen.
Thanks for sharing this knowledge and wisdom
Greetings from KY 💓
It is very necessary and very important to tell ones truth to heal trama
Beautiful, Lewis, just beautiful. You bring so many important and helpful discussions to the table. And Dr. Conti is such a lovely, gentle, caring soul. What a treat this episode was for me!
So happy you are enjoying the content. I would love for you to leave me a review here:
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The book Karma by Sadhguru talks about how these things get carried into or being from our prior lives. I Find that so interesting
Wow my son is in psychosis and I know he doesn’t have any syndrome. He was severely bullied at 14/15 and he was never the same after it. And how in psychosis. This is it!!! Amazing doctor!
If anyone wants further knowledge on this I recommend the books The Body Keeps The Score and Healing The Shame That Binds Us. Peace 🌸
Very good conversation and topic. There should be more comments about this
I took a different approach to trauma… that gets the same end result. I decided to move from the area where I had so much trauma and in the move I made some choices that led me to realize I was being controlled by trauma but it also helped me to wake up and that is the best thing so now for REAL healing to begin … which I moved three years ago. So the initial move didn’t magically work but eventually I had to look at myself and correct some of the trauma thinking patterns and this is very exciting even though I wanted it to be faster. I have learned it’s a lifestyle not an instant fix.
This Dr is on points
Great interview. Dr Paul Conti has a wealth of valuable knowledge concerning trauma/mental health. Would be great to bring more great minds like him together to create a standardized program in schools to help children/teens address trauma and abuse.
Thanks for being here!
This was so enlightening! I come from a long lineage of family suicide so I have often thought whether this is a trauma gene passed down. I have some low grade depression around abandonment yet have a robust health program for myself and have no addictions. Im also very curious to learn about my conditioning and triggers so I think this has really helped me navigate. Based on this dialogue I think I have the resilience gene as well! So thank goodness for that!
So happy to hear we have supported you!
Very helpful message, educational for those who need it. Thank for sharing!
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
I love you choices of interviewee’s Lewis!! Paul is great! I am lovable ❤️
One day I realized there is no such thing as healing . Once I saw THAT , I was fully healed . This is paradoxical. When I was traumatized I was standing here breathing , and when I was healed I was still just standing here breathing . So simple and so profound. Even my physical pain almost completely dissolved .
Yes it’s like a state.. they’re both states of being
Credit to you Lewis, this interview stopped me in my tracks and held my attention from beginning to end...
And...Thank you both for how you navigated such a difficult, far reaching subject 🙏 much appreciated.
It resonated on so many levels and offered some much needed and appreciated perspectives...
Thanks for that too...🐛🦋💡💓🕊 xxx
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
Lewis, have you ever thought of having Dr. Gabor Mate on your channel? You are a Great interviewer. I'd Love to hear that interview!!!
I love Dr. Mate!
Wow this guy gets it. I sought help for my chronic depression and a very insightful counselor made me realize depression may not be the primary issue when I told her I could not relate to the other participants in the depression group therapy. After talking with her, she suggested maybe attending the trauma group and when I did it all clicked as what they were saying was exactly what I was feeling. For me depression was only a symptom, trauma is the cause. If not for that counselor, I would have continued to try addressing only the symptom in vain.
🧡
Hanging onto it FOREVER is right! Believe it, that happens alot, A LOT
It feels like the shame that arises is because we tell ourselves that we would not have been hurt or abused or traumatized because in some way, we are causal-- especially as a child, we feel that it would not have happened or continue to happen if in some way we were not causal, even being inherently not good enough or else we would have been loved or seen or understood. Children take on so much emotional responsibility because it is also very traumatic to see that, for example, a parent is hurtful or abusive because we are so dependent upon them.
1:08:42 ... feeling on guard... wow! I can personally resonate with that sooo much. That is literally the thing that I have always felt my whole life and every time someone asked me why I'm depressed it was always that - being tired from constantly trying to shield myself in every aspect of my life.. I think the major factors that contributed into developing this sort of response were mostly being bullied at school, coming from poorer background and having to hide my sexuality for most of my life. Even after things got better for me it did not help in any way internally, as Paul said about carrying the burden/trauma I think it did apply to me very prominently. I'm 32 now and recently I have been heavily depressed probably because all the traumatic events that have been buried for years finally surfaced and wanted to be dealt with. It was expressed as reoccurring dreams - which I think is a very interesting phenomenon that I is not mentioned enough when it comes to mental health and dealing with trauma. I had been having this dream consistently on nearly daily basis for over three years (yes three years!!!), same pattern and scenario every time, maybe sometimes executed differently but still very stencil-esque. It was me in my hometown, normally in my flat or in my room feeling very hopeless and every time I wanted to try to go back where I live now same thing happened - either I missed the flight, lost train ticket, taxi driver didn't turn up, bus driver took the wrong route etc. Same scenario over and over... It was really frustrating for me as I couldn't really discern the true message in this dream... Luckily I haven't had it for a very long time and I think the reason is that I have realised the true message or remnants of it... The message was something that I was dreading to acknowledge and scared to admit .... - you're stuck in the past.
Acceptance = forgiveness
Detachment = non- desire, expectation, possession, judgement
Surrender = faith
Thank you Lewis and Dr. CONTI from Morocco / Grazie Dottor CONTI dal Marocco
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
I got so many great take aways from this interview. Loved it! Thank you ❤️ (PS ~ I just bought Dr. Conti’s book. I’m excited to start reading it!)
A lot of doctors can't understand what you've been through they find things just out of this world and then make you feel like you're making it up. .
How do you deal with the shame when it was you who wronged someone?
Awesome show❤
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Lewis, you always ask such great questions of your guests...what a awesome interviewer you are! I absolutely LOVE your School of Greatness, I’ve learned so much. Thank you 😘
The most important discussion to spread knowledge about it.
👍
I admire you so much for the sharing you have done in an effort to help others. What an amazing human being you are!
Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
i agree interpersonal skills etc should be taught at school
It's secret because people tend to assume the anxiety is overreacted or attention seeking
He sound like he's reading the diagnosis of the blueprint of my life. WOW, who is amazing individual. I want to get in his therapy program. Pls post me a link where I can contact him. Thanks
Amazing stuff. The best description of narcissism I’ve ever heard. Makes so much sense. Thanks ❤❤ ❤
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
@@lewishowes I grew up with a narc mom and a brother. Mom passed but my brother I simply cut off. Your shows have helped me to think, forgive, and move on in peace.
Traumas are mainly dueto parental neglect, emotionally absent mothrs and fathrs,,, also some expe rience emotional abuse from parents and othrs
Thank you both for giving me hope ❤
W**d helped change the way I think,50 years of negativity and depression at least 70% gone in a matter of months,along with clean eating.its amazing 😊
I feel abandoned by my grandparents who left this world but it's not their fault. I feel abandoned by my parents, the father who left and the mother that had mental illnesses and was abusive, and I feel abandoned by the Light, that left us to Darkness, but I am healing myself and in doing so, I am healing Humankind.
Bless you all 💞
My mom abandoned me me shortly after birth . Before my grandma forced her back to reluctant
motherhood I was held and nutured by strangers and father. What kind of trauma would this tend to produce and how to overcome it? Over a lifetime have never found a therapist that addressed trauma. I came to think of them more as social workers with an RX pad.
I appreciate this video.
Damn... Same.. My brother took his own life month's ago... I will Never be the same
So sorry for your loss 🧡
@@lewishowes I appreciate that more than words can convey. It is certainly life altering but we all have those moments. I will do everything I can to honor him on a daily. His suicide pushed me to delve deeply into an innate interest in astrology. Now I am utilizing that esoteric knowledge combined with my love for the metaphysical benefits of crystals to break generational cycles. I am developing a jewelry line that can assist others in doing the same. One day I will be on a segment with you to explain it all. ☺
Sending Love and Light,
Jess
Best. Episode. Ever.
You're welcome,thank you for being here 💜
So synchronicity would have it that, I just stumbled across this video 2 1/2 weeks after it aired. As a survivor of lifelong narcissistic abuse - the trauma it causes can make recovery very challenging.
Unless you have a really good support system. (Or, you’re a very curious person and do the research not that there are tons of people talking openly about it in TH-cam). The havoc it causes on our sympathetic nervous symptom is incredible, it can and does cause autoimmune diseases - and overall health. Never mind mental health issues arising from the trauma of utter betrayal. MDs should be trained in this. My doctor has no idea about narcissistic abuse. She’s heard of it, but she isn’t versed in it - at all. I saw a medical doctor recently vs psychologist or psychiatrist because my endocrine system and thyroid needed testing.
But, we all need to be able to talk to any doctor, so they can lead us on our way to the right therapy and therapists. But sometimes you don’t even know where to start. Because you don’t think people will believe you - nor feel “safe” to discuss the topic of trauma without being told to, “get over it”, or suck it up.
Psychedelic therapy, psychedelic clinics on every street corner, can’t happen quickly enough.
Trauma is a much larger problem in our society than people are aware of. Most of our parents were traumatized and pass that down via genetics, but much more-so in the way we were raised, which was not pretty for all of us. The chaos as a kid turned me into a highly sensitive person, HSP, and empath (didn’t know until this past year there was even a name for my level of empathy-which honestly feels like a curse-but need to turn it into a superpower.
So many walking wounded out here. We’re all in this together, we need to support one and other - and not minimize someone else’s grief or trauma. The world will be such a beautiful place if we start to heal - collectively.
Edit: April 11, 2022. So, as an update, I was able to get help through my medical doctor, and she truly saved my life. She did prescribe me antidepressants, because I was so depressed I didn’t even realize I was so depressed. Also discovered through research that I had ADD ADHD-so have been given Adderall, which has been a game changer-it really saved my life. It’s a low dose, but the difference is astonishing and amazing! I needed this dump of dopamine to help alter my habits and create good ones. Just re-reading my comment again, because I had forgotten I even left it here a couple months ago and saw that someone liked it and had a notification, but I can see how out of it I was.
I think so many people end up developing ADD or ADHD as a survival mechanism. You get scattered all over the place because you’re just trying to survive day to day. Anyway, I wanted to leave that good news. Haven’t felt this good in YEARS!