Honestly that first dude... He shouldn't have even proposed to her if her honouring her dead loved ones makes him feel insecure. You don't just pick and choose what parts of your spouse you marry.
It’d be a stretch, but the deceased husband I could *maybe* understand. But her deceased kid??? You’re jealous over your fiancée’s dead four year old? Wtaf
Agreed! Also like “when are you gonna move on” uh… she did. With you dude! That’s all the proof he should need that she moved past that relationship wtfff
@Rachel Forshee I guess it would depend on the tattoo though. A name personally I dont think is bad. Its a name that is important to a person because it belonged to someone she loved very much. If it where like a portrait though, I could see why someone would be uncomfortable. No matter how much you love someone, I would always feel weird beeing intimate with someone and seeing the face of their dead husband / wife / child. Even though that would bother me with portraits in general. But that all doesnt really matter in this case, since he knew about the tattoo and stayed with her. Could have left just at the start if it made him that uncomfortable.
V*gina brother needs to calm down. That tattoo was a drunken decision, not a hill to die on or 'an extension of his personality'. Also, having the photographer edit it out, depending on the person, may come at an extra cost.
Seriously even as a tattooed person I wouldn’t want someone to attend my wedding with a visible graphic tattoo like that. It’s just not appropriate for the setting. If it had been normal tattoos I would’ve said the brides an asshole, but a whole vagina?
I was ready to call OP and asshole from the title but they have been nothing but accommodating to the brother. I, too, wouldn’t want a vagina tattoo on display at my wedding.
Right? Like there really isn’t much difference in showing that and going to the wedding fully nude. It’s common sense to know that probably isn’t going to be appropriate to show at a wedding, and basic respect to easily agree to cover it when asked by his sister
And to steal and corrupt the phrase “my body my choice” as an excuse? I know men use that phrase mockingly basically ALL THE TIME so we women are used to it and brush it off, but we shouldn’t. It’s fucking disgusting to use that in the wrong context, yet we ignore it all the time so we don’t get branded “oversensitive” or “snowflake”.
The fact that the guy waited till after proposing to do that!! Those tattoos are meant for her personally & her healing!! He's really the asshole. Not her.
Not only that, but its not like that's a tattoo for an ex. That's a tattoo for a lost family. If a person can't handle being in a person's heart along side instead of as replacement then they really shouldn't have proposed to a widow. Especially because unless there's stuff being left out he has no reason to feel like he is competing with ghost's anyway.
I dated someone once that has his ex's portrait tattooed on his chest. She passed horribly with his unborn child inside her. Leaving him and their oldest child alone. I knew him for so long and know how much she meant to him and what that tattoo means to him and his son. I wasn't ever jealous of a tattoo. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have someone else want something so personal removed. People are so cruel
I do kinda get feeling jealous. Even though jealous maybe isnt the right word but rather insecure? I myself would constantly ask myself "Does he love me as much as he loved her? Or am I just a rebound" and other stuff. But then people like me also should know, that a relationship like that isnt for them. As much as I would love that person, I just wouldnt date them and let them find someone who fits them better and can understand / love them better than I probably ever could. So if people cant live with that, they shouldnt date people who had a child or partner (or both) pass away.
My mom is a widow and she has her wedding band tattoo still and will never get it removed. I'm becoming a tattoo artist so I can do her touch-ups because her late husband was her tattoo artist before he passed. It's a really personal thing when you have memorial ink and no one should have a say in your tattoos unless they are offensive ect.
@@HkFinn83 Then they would have to find fault with a huge percentage of the Earth's population who like wearing rings in general, or anything society deems appropriate for the eyes of the masses(of which includes children and the faint of heart by the way) if a band around a finger is too upsetting, most would recommend isolating the easily offended, and not the conformists. So, unfortunately that argument is not even close to the same as a glaringly large depiction of reproductive organs being blasted across someone's body and being asked to please be modest for a family gathering. But what do I know, I'm just a human, with eyes AND a brain that I use to think about the effect my words have on others, BEFORE I speak. My apologies to our wonderful Lauren who brings fun friendly content. But I felt it necessary.
My aunt lost her husband two years ago, she got two tattoos on her after he died (she gave him a nickname after a mythology figure, and she got tattoos of said figure). My cousins said she should think if she wants to meet other men someday. I don't get it. It's not even directly my uncle's name, and what competition to new potential partner a dead man is? He is part of her life, it won't change.
that woman in the first story has to dump that guy. her trying to heal and keep a memory of her dead child makes him THAT LEVEL of insecure?? not someone you’d want to get married to and maybe start a family with since he wants to erase the memory of her lost family
And he’s insecure about people that pose zero threat. It’s not like they may get back together or something. And she didn’t divorce this man. She was in live with him and he died. This guy is already showing the biggest red flags.
Gosh, I hope the first person doesn't follow through with that marriage. The person who is asking her to remove the name sounds like a manipulator. Firstly, he never mentioned it once in the entire YEAR they were, im assuming, intimate and dating but waited until they were engaged! That is only putting HER in a position to choose while he is just sitting there, obviously not understanding the trauma this person went through, losing her husband and her child. Secondly, he seems jealous of a man who has passed and obviously isn't a threat to their relationship. BIG red flag for me. She doesn't need to "move on" he needs to get over it.
Yes, this! I really hope she doesn't end up marrying him. That is very toxic behavior. A memorial tattoo is never something anyone should ever criticize, especially something so simple and tasteful. I love that she got her first husband's and son's name tattooed on her chest. Right over her heart, no doubt. That's beautiful.
“I don’t want to force my beliefs on anyone!” “Except my girlfriend, I see her dating me as an extension of myself because I dehumanize her and feel I can ‘openly express disapproval’ of her bodily autonomy and use the ultimate of our marriage hanging over her head to force HER to conform to MY beliefs, that’s totally fine!”
No fr and it literally sounds like he expects her to convert if they get married. He keeps saying how he expects different things if they get married. He totally wants to use his beliefs to change her, and that’s not cool.
the biggest problem with the last one is that he's basically trying to "well, yes, but actually no" their relationship. really, he's just talking like a coward and being an AH in the process. he either needs to admit to being unsure or pick one. another tattoo either is or isn't a deal-breaker, but he's trying to have both by saying "we won't break up IMMEDIATELY but probably later"
Yeah, for the first way he said it I don't think it was a red flag. My partner was considering a flash tattoo which happened to look like an ex of mine. I said something similar, that I would rather he got a different flash or something custom because it would be difficult for me to get used to. Since the poster's reasoning is backed in religion it makes sense it would change how he sees her as while he's accepting of her (non?) religion now it seems like down the line he's expecting her to convert and wants her to behave in ways consistent with this. Basically he is being honest, which I think is important in relationships. Some people see their partner differently after tattoos. It's not fair, but everyone has their lifestyle and aesthetic preferences so being informed of that before action is pretty important. But the way he gives himself an "it's ok now but not later" kind of thing was so gross. And his preferences are definitely dick-ish.
@@thenopedetective I said exactly the same thing...that he has been assuming she will convert eventually (despite her complete lack of interest in religion he's apparently taken her respectfulness of his beliefs and put his own twist on it). That's why he brought up thatsome people with tattoos convert. He ust appears to have forgotten to ever have a conversation with her about that being his expectation.
@@hawkeyescoffee6399 Yes!!! It seems pretty he experts her to convert to his "lifestyle" later on which is gross. Find someone who is already a part of your religion if you have to be with someone who shares your beliefs; don't try converting people who don't share it because that's just messed up.
Yeah and I do not like that. Sure, see the relationship differently but put your foot down more early on as an ultimatum for who you would and wouldn’t date instead of “well I’d rather you didn’t but it’s your choice but also then I don’t see us as long term as I thought cause you won’t do what I kindaaa want but also what I secretly realllllly want.” Cause now they’re invested in a committed relationship and it sounds serious, so they’ll definitely break up and she’ll likely get hurt more from the sounds of it
I'm an arab person living in an Arab country. I'm not religious but I can talk a bit about the tattoo situation. it really depends on the country and the culture. for example, in my country tattoos has been historically a sign of beauty. almost all the women (till my grandmas generation) had tattoos, especially on their faces and hands. so, tattoos are not stigmatized here. they're a sign of beauty
That's so cool! Do they tend to be for any reason/symbolism, or are they more aesthetic (for looks) like in America/UK? I know in Japan and Korea tattoos are still very stigmatized (and still illegal in Korea I believe) because they were associated with gangs. In UK and similar places it used to be associated with criminals, but for the most part there isn't a strong connection with that anymore (unless you ask certain older people).
@@thenopedetective may had some meaning in the old religion. most of the old gods are somehow related to agriculture hence the floral patterns of the tattoos though I believe it turned into aesthetic one later. it's Ike wearing make up. most women have patterns mostly on their chins6, cheeks and some on the forehead. simply patterns with dots. men and women can have patterns on their hands especially on the thumb and index fingers. this tradition is mostly gonein the cities and stuff but ppl still use temporary tattoos or with henna to replicate it when wearing traditional clothes 😊
I can relate to the last one. I've got a pretty alternative look (I have tattoos but not heavily tattooed YET) and my boyfriend is Christian with no body mods or tattoos. Early in the relationship he expressed that he may not be attracted to me as much if I were heavily tattooed. I told him that was my goal and I always expressed that was my goal. And pretty much gave him the ultimatum saying he has a right to preference, but more so I have a right to my physical expression and understand if he needs to leave the relationship to find someone that matches his preferences. He back tracked and apologized, told be he would still be attracted to me, and said he would just prefer If I didn't do solid black work which was fine I really don't plan on getting any. As a courtesy to him I don't ask for his permission for a physical change, but I just tell him anytime I plan to get another tattoo, piercings, or different hair colors/ alternative cut, so that he won't be stunned and caught off guard and knows what to expect. He's grown alot in regards to make me feel good about my alt appearance and even helps me with my tattoo ideas, helps me bleach/dye my hair, gives positive comments about my tattoos while we lie next to eachother, will ask what I plan to do next, and likes to treat my lil animals like characters and squishes them with his fingers to make them talk like puppets which I personally think is really cute 💚
The story with the boyfriend who uses so many of the 'good guy' words (I respect her choices, she shouIdn't care what anyone eIse thinks) is so disturbing when you objectively Iook at what's going on. He's guiIting her out of getting a tattoo by threatening that he won't see her the same way after which Iays the groundwork for any abuse he throws her way over it to be her fauIt (I toId you this wouId change things for me! I'm sorry, but I can't heIp the way I feeI), withoIding affection untiI she does what he wants, stringing her aIong in a relationship when he knows he doesn't want to marry her if she doesn't convert (which is absoIuteIy what 'reconciIing our different IifestyIes' means). This is an incredibly manipuIative person at work. The amount of doubIespeak coming out of him is terrifying. Then he pretends to see that he was in the wrong whiIe being vague and not admitting how, just saying what peopIe want to hear so they'II congratulate him on being one of the good ones and emphasizing the accusatory comments so peopIe wiII defend him.
The muslim guy seemed emotionally manipulative.... Basically telling her he'd love her less if she got more tattoos while still pretending she's free to do whatever she wants.
in theory there's nothing wrong with saying "do what you want but I won't be staying with you," it's hurtful but it's blunt and honest, and evrryone can get on with their lives quicker. the bigger problem here (imo) is tacking on a "yet" to the end of "I wouldn't break up with you over it." it's like he's trying to only half admit that it's a deal-breaker (kinda like you said, he'd love her LESS, "but we can keep dating if you want to I guess")
@@lightishredgummi Totally agree with this! Part 1 he did his best and was honest, there was no ultimatum per se. But when it was brought up again it really was not well said and did get into manipulative language/stuff which would make it difficult for the woman to feel secure in that relationship.
The thing that bothers me is that he already *knew* she had a tattoo, but then got upset talking about 'the future' and how it would affect their relationship if she got another, all due to *his* beliefs. As if he just assumes that she has to conform to *his* beliefs because they're together. That's like if a vegan chose to start dating a non-vegan, then got upset that their partner still eats meat. It's ludicrous. And my favorite part is that he says he's 'never tried to pressure her into his religion' or 'tried to force his beliefs onto her', but that's EXACTLY what he's doing by telling her a new tattoo would make him see their relationship differently. He even mentioned that 'people with tattoos before they converted don't need to remove them, so I was indifferent about her first tattoo'. So, the way I see it, he's acting like her dating him means she's 'converted'. So the first tattoo is regrettably overlookable, but now the new one would be a problem.
1. NTA. If he had a problem with it he should have brought it up way before proposing… that’s super manipulative and a red flag. Wanting to memorialize your dead family is very reasonable. 2. NTA. If it weren’t a tattoo of genitalia I wouldn’t be on OP’s side but I don’t think not wanting that showing on your wedding day is wrong PLUS she tried coming up with solutions and he’s acting like a massive AH about it. 3. YTA. Dude is basically giving her an ultimatum in a way because he’s implying heavily he won’t see a future with her long term. Why waste the person’s time if you know it’s a deal breaker in the future.
I just love AITA stories, I can't get enough of them. 1) Definitely NTA, tattoos are like a journal. The past doesn't get erased when you move into a new phase of life. Her fiance knew exactly who she was when they started dating and shouldn't expect her to change now that they're engaged. While I can sympathize that it might be disconcerting to see another partner's name during relations, he needs to find a way to get over it. It's not like it's an ex who alive and potentially a rival. 2) Also NTA, the brother is being unreasonable. I can't believe he wouldn't just wear the shirt buttoned up for his sister. She isn't asking him to cover any other tattoo. A vag tattoo is a strange hill to die on. 3) YTA, while I understand his attempt to be respectful in the way he expresses himself, I'm getting the vibe that she's good enough to f***, but not good enough to marry. Like the first story, you should accept your partner as they are and not expect them to mateially change based on a decision to marry. IMO, they don't sound compatible and should probably decide to part ways.
"I will support you in whatever decision you make, but only if you make the decision I agree with" - that's what some of these stories come down to. If you love someone for who they are, let them be who they are. Don't try to push them into being who you want to be - that's just hypocritical.
For the first one the OP is 100% not the asshole. I lost my boyfriend a few years ago and got a canoe paddle in honour of him as he loved canoeing. Just because we still have these tattoos doesn’t mean we are clinging onto our past. And ever then our past makes us who we are now. And grieving over someone isn’t something you just get over. There will always be a special place for the people we once loved. If I was seeing a guy and he told me to remove my tattoo that would be a dealbreaker.
That second one: man that brother is a groomsman-zilla. He blew up at her simply saying 'hey, can I not have a vag on display at my wedding please?' If her brother truly cared about her he'd be willing to do something so small for her comfort. My mate had 4 bridesmaids and 3 of us are tatted. We offered to cover them for her. She said no cause none of ours are indecent but we cared enough to offer.
I think the biggest issue I have with the last guy is....he almost sounds like he expects her to convert if they get married? He keeps talking about how it’ll be so different if he settles down with her, how expectations of her will change...like...it really does sound like he wants a conversion, and that gives me ick vibes. Don’t marry someone and expect them to embrace your religion as their own all of a sudden. Don’t expect them to all of a sudden be willing to go by more religious rules. I hope they had a big discussion about that kind of thing, and I wish he’d be fully honest and transparent on what he expects from her if she becomes his wife. Cuz it sounds like they haven’t had a talk like that.
When it comes to the last guy, I personally honestly don't think he's an asshole, but I do think he's in the wrong in the sense that his issue with her tattoos is, well, his issue, not hers. And if the difference between their views would become a problem in the future despite him wanting to be with this girl long-term, it may simply be better for them...not to be together. Either that, or he's going to have to suck it up and not make his partner feel like they're doing something wrong by getting the tattoo. I sympathize with and understand him, but that ain't the right way to go about things.
Finally someone who understands this guy. His beliefs are keeping him from marrying this girl he loves very much. Not an a hole. Just stuck between love and religion.
I totally agree. He started dating her under the (false?) assumption that she would not get any more tattoos, and he obviously disapproves of them. He is obviously invested in the relationship now and doesn't just want to break up, or give her an ultimatum, which is understandable. I honestly think he should break up with her, as they are incompatible, but it's hard to do. As it stands, I think he did the best he could. He gave an honest answer about his opinion (which was requested!), and let her decide what to do. What more could you expect?
the thing that makes him an AH is really just his phrasing with her, the whole "we won't break up NOW but we'll probably break up later." he can dislike tattoos all he wants but when it comes to his partner, he either needs to make the decision NOW or make it clear that he's unsure what would happen to their relationship (instead of trying to have both, which is what it sounds like he was doing). the way he handled it makes it sound like he was saying another tattoo would make him see his gf as a fling instead of a lifelong partner. that may not be what he meant, but he's leading her on and crushing her heart at the same time. that's a pretty AH thing to do, intentional or not. it may be on the mild side, but I think he should still be considered an AH in this situation. he seemingly refuses to either pick one or admit to being unsure and instead went with the infinitely worse "well, yes, but actually no"
So WOW i went on a tangent about this BUT NO OFFENSE WAS INTENDED, i just can't stand gas-lighter's and hypocrites........................so peace and love to you and yours and hope you have a good night/day wherever you are. it's not even his religious beliefs it's his religious community culture if "they" find out about the tattoos then the judgement on two of them afterwards could be/get worse. Finding a balance between your faith, who you are, who you love and lastly others that share your beliefs is extremely difficult especially when some Communities Traditions (the people in power not the way of the faith mind you) gaslight their followers making themselves feel suppressed in living freely (in the you're doing it wrong: kind of my way or the highway logic. ) All religions (excluding all made up cults conspiracies detours ones) are great groups IF and ONLY WHEN they are inclusive, like "oh you believe that meant doing it like so but i believe this was what is right/meant....oh agree to disagree and isn't our faith grand?" (unique/rare but still happens) That's under the same beliefs umbrella not just coexisting in an interreligious relationship which OP never stated if GF was of the same faith or not to begin with, just a statement on tattoos and converting; so that would be a whole different can of worms going on there too. If any religious community culture goes around and judges you cause you're not from the same mold they expected when you've said you follow the same faith or share the same values otherwise but claims their views are not wrong, THEY ARE THE A**hole.; they have a God Complex about being a Follower of Faith and are Gatekeeping, which is a stupidly common problem and annoying as hell. In short i think the religious culture where he and his GF are Karens about tattoos and he was trying to balance out the consequences of her action to the life they were/wanted to plan...because he could see it spiraling, that's why the call for advise. just sad all around 💙💜🖤💚🤍💛💖🧡 & now my mini rant about drama that i can only hope is resolve in the best possible way is over. stay safe. goodnight/day. and that's all folks.
I would never tell a significant other to get rid of a tattoo that had so much meaning to them. It’s not like the name was of an ex partner that was still alive. This was her husband and child who died in a horrific accident. He needs to grow up and realize these people are no threat to him and that this is a way for her to keep them in her heart. I think he’s the A hole.
For the first one. You have to be some kind of insecure person to be jealous like that over someone who is dead. They are gone. My mum is a widow and she has photos of my dad with us all over the house still and I can’t imagine someone asking her to take them down.
okay for the first one..even if the ex was alive and well, this person has the right to do WHATEVER they want to their body. keeping something with sentiment does not mean cheating. it means nothing. you can look back on your past without wanting to go back. ugh
Number 3...I agree with your confusion lol. If it's not okay down the line, it's not okay now. How can it be both? Like he wants a fling, but will ditch her when she wants to commit more? My boyfriend is *somewhat* similar wherein he's honest about how he prefers me without tattoos, but doesn't care if I get them. I plan to be heavily covered in tattoos and he won't let that stop us from getting married and having kids in the future - even though he prefers that I stop getting tattooed. I appreciate his honesty and am glad that we both see each other's perspective with compromise.
Love your approach to you getting tattoos and not needing permission; so many people seem to feel that because you’re with someone you should discuss and have their opinion etc. Tattoos are for the person, and not to please the person you’re dating 🤪 I sometimes get sucked in like ‘should I have included my s/o in my process or my decisions about what to get’ etc. Hearing your voice cleared the fog
As someone who was widowed 3 years ago, I had a memorial tattoo on my chest a few months ago. My brother in law cried when he saw it as I hadn't told him I was getting it. It was cathartic to me to get it and I smile whenever I see it. I won't remove it for anyone!
When it comes to situations like the Muslim guy and the non religious girl I always have to wonder… why even be in a relationship to begin with? 😂 if this is the hill you’re willing to die on and not be able to deal with your partner having tattoos, why have a partner with tattoos? Considering marriage with a person is a huge commitment, and if this is something that would get in the way just end it now. She should be off living her best life with someone who likes her body and respects her being able to do what she wants with it lol
YOUR EYE MAKEUP LOOKS SO GOOD HERE OMG, ALSO ANECDOTE : The last one is the typical case of someone wanting to impose their beliefs onto their loved ones while still having good intentions, it's really conflicting. I have a friend who had the same problem not a long time ago : he's really religious and a super respectful person but he ended up breaking up with his girlfiend (that he planned on marrying and having childrens with) just because she wanted to let their kids choose their religion while he, on the other hand, wanted their kids to have his religion (apparently it's a common thing among some religions ? at least that was one of his arguments) and while i will always respect people choices here is where i strongly dislike some aspects of religion, or at least how some people practice it, like you know they don't come from a bad place at all but dude it's 2022 we de not impose our beliefs on people's lives, and what's bothering me so much about cases like this is that they know from day 1 how they want their life to be so why bothering people that you know won't align with it uh
That is not an isolated situation when 1 rather is religious and the other is not. I know of 2 couples this was an issue with. Both of the times the men were religious. They were too focused on what others thought and if they would judge their gf etc. that’s all it comes down to is “what will others think of them?” The one gf wasn’t allowed to go to a rock concert, get any tattoos, post her body on social media etc. it left such a bad taste in my mouth when people use their religion to control their partner.
My brother asked me to cover my half sleeve for his wedding and I obliged as I was a bridesmaid. The half sleeve wasn't vulgar or anything but it would make me stand out. Luckily the rest of my tattoos were hidden by my dress, if I had to cover them all I would've ducked out of the wedding all together. That would've been wayyy too much work lol
I felt like she shouldn't have needed to even ask him when it's something rude, especially since she said they're close. It's not as if it has deep sentimental meaning. She's been entirely reasonable, he seems to be wanting to start drama for some reason. I think he doesn't expect her to yeet him from the wedding, calling her a bridezilla was low considering the things we ear about the behaviour of some brides. As another comment said: it seems a weird hill for him to pick to die on.
This was an interesting collection of AITA stories! First one obviously NTA, how rude and unfeeling to want to erase the first husband and child! I’d rethink the marriage. Second one also NTA ultimately, that tattoo could cause offence easily and she gave many good options to avoid it (like buttoning the shirts). Third one obvious TA, he did all he could to make himself seem reasonable but is obviously a controlling creep and she needs to run away.
For the last one I don't think it's about the tattoo specifically for him, but rather balancing a life where his religion is important to him but so is his non-religious gf. I feel like the tattoo was just the first of many discussions regarding their relationship. I don't think he's an a-hole, but asked in an a-hole way.
And he tried to make it about not his religion, when it's pretty clear from his descriptions the reason why no new tattoos is important is because of his religion.
The first one is horrifying, that's a red flag to me that she should move on because he is never gonna stop being jealous of her first husband and child. If they had kids together he sounds like the sort of guy who wouldn't want her talking about her deceased son ever again. I'm makingnleaps but I've seen people like that before, that whole...why do you need to grieve your "old" child when we have a new one, just like he inks she should magically have no grief over a lost love. IME, part of being with someone who has been open about having lost everything once before is understanding that they will forever have to share a heart to the lost loved ones, and that it changes the persons out look on life somewhat. The person I'm most angry at is her mother, tbh. Imagine siding with your daughter's partner over your daughter about their deceased child (even taking the partner out of it, that's messed up). He's absolutely the ahole, OP is not and deserves better, honestly. The second one I feel so bad for her, I feel like she's in a no win situation. Honestly, though I think she was daft to bring it up to him in the first place she should have spoke with her fiance and requested they not have the shirts unbuttoned, she could have handled it differently before talk to her brother, is what I'm saying. Too late now though. I think her brother is being a bit of an ahole just to make a point, I mean, it's your sister's wedding, there's going to be teenagers there and what have you, why would you even have to be asked to cover your graphic tattoo? I'm no prude, but I feel you shouldn't subject people to sexual imagery they haven't consented to, just like you shouldn't send unsolicited d-pics, you shouldn't be showing unsolicited v-pics to a person. I kinda half feel he's calling her bluff, which is a dangerous thing to do, throwing out the term bridezilla over a perfectly reasonable request...sounds like he was just looking for an excuse to use that. Look, I'm not even that close to my brother (I love him, sure, but I'd not consider us friends, tbh) and I would never dream of turning up to his wedding with a giant duck tattoo visible front and centre, perfectly framed for all to be unable to miss. It's just massively disrespectful of the occasion and of her. SO, she's now caught between having something like that visible at her wedding or possibly irreparably ruining her relationship with her brother...that said...one could also argue that he has already caused that damage by acting like a diva. There family may be used to and have accepted him for who he is but that doesn't mean she should put herself in the position of having to apologise for her brother literally being a giant c*. I find it hard to put myself in her position because if it were my brother & we were in this situation I would absolutely tell him to eff off then, but she said that they're very close and I don't know what that's like. I'd be interested what her fiance & her parents think about it. As for the last one, I got the feeling he put the emphasis on settling down because even though he talks about how respectful they are of each others views and her being an atheist...he ultimately expects that if they marry she will convert and become a Muslim (from the few Muslims that I've known that's what I believe is generally what is expected if a Muslim marries a non Muslim, same with the Roman Catholic church...or used to be, not so much any more I think, my CofE bro married an RC girl in the 90s and he was expected to convert because I guess they think they're superior or something idk, he didn't convert, but compramised by allowing their kids to go to RC school etc - funnily enough both kids are atheist adults lol). I think that's why OP mentioned people with tattoos who convert, but the reason why he has an issue with her getting a new tattoo now that she is with him is that he's seeing it as an open rejection of his beliefs and his unspoken expectation, her wanting more tattoos is saying I have no intention of being Muslim. That's just the view I got of it. He tried his best I think to handle things the right way, but ultimately still allowed his religious belief to rule his relationship & interaction. Despite saying he didn't want to discuss his religion (given the response I can't blame him, but then he probably should have just stated he was deeply religious and left it at that) there wasn't a way to separate his beliefs from the way he feels about her getting a tattoo because they're too tightly entwined. I hope he was able to have an open and honest conversation with her because it seemed to me like he was shying away from voicing his expectation, perhaps it's just so ingrained in him that he just has never realised that _she_ doesn't know that's what he would expect? I'm actually surprised he would date a none Muslim if he is that strongly religious (the 2 muslims I knew would never have dared because of their parents/families reactions and expectations. Hell, the Muslim girl cut her hair while at uni without her mother's consent and nearly got disinherited over it, her mother had an absolute conniption, I can't imagine how she would have responded to her having an atheist bf) and the only reason I can see why he would is that he assumed she would convert eventually; still, if she was good enough for him to date then she's good enough to marry as the person she is without changing her. If her having a tattoo or getting more while with him is an issue for him then he should do them botha favour and walk away now, don't string her along on a "well I won't see you the same, but it won't break us up... probably won't be marrying you though" because that's gross. Sounds kinda like he was wanting his cake and eating it too, but doesn't want to wash the dishes after. 🤷 Ahole. Just my 6p (inflation and all that) lol.
For the first one if they were still alive it may be a semi valid request but the fact that they passed away in a bad accident and hes still asking??? Absolutely awful
Love these AITA parts of the series the best! Thanks!! For the first, why propose if he's that bothered by the tattoo? Imo, you should never ask someone to remove a memorial tattoo. It's too personal. In her case, those two individuals helped make her who she is and if you profess to love her, you should also respect the life experiences that helped make her into the person you love. For the second, the brother should be more understanding... it's his sister's wedding. There's a time and place. Besides, it sounds like they were very willing to make sure he wouldn't feel singled out. All that speaks to how important she views their relationship and makes him look petty. For the last one, I think the bf, sadly, is confused and ended up confusing and hurting his gf. If he can't handle her having more tattoos due to his religion, he just needs to own up to it and decide if he needs to leave. If I were the gf, I'd change my mind about him too tho. They should each do what they want and if that means they need to end it, then so be it. If course, all of this is more painful in actuality but if they value different things, maybe they'd be happier with different ppl anyway.
No.3- my brother in Christ, your religion is the central cause of this issue. His religious beliefs are going agaist what is happening in the relationship. People always tiptoe around topics of religion because pointing out any fallacies is immediately seen as an attack. This guy is picking and choosing which rules to follow, and it isn't fair for anyone involved. Why would he date someone knowing that they have certain interests that are against his personal beliefs. He is TA, not because he is religious, but because he is wasting that girl's time.
If I start dating someone with ONE tattoo, I’m going to make one of two assumptions: 1. They only want one tattoo (cool); or 2. They plan on more and haven’t gotten them yet (super cool). As a heavily tattooed person, I like other tattooed people. Also, as a strong independent person, don’t come at me with that bullshit. We would be done.
I'm a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding. All of us have very different tattoo styles and they are very clashy against each other's, but that's ok normally. We're all pretty heavily tattoo'd. My sister's tattoos are going to be pretty well hid and she's going to cover her one or two that show because they are older and faded, plus in areas that are not going to 100% show. She asked if she paid for the makeup artist to cover our tattoos would we be willing to and we all said yes. Because she just wants to not have distractions from the wedding photos themselves in the few main photos, but then when she said it wasn't about people actually seeing us but the few "mantel photos" I was like "wouldn't it be cheaper to pay to edit the tattoos out?" And she was like "🤯🤯🤯". So editing is a great option but if it was a vagina I wouldn't want that in my wedding at all. Maybe I'm just laid back about covering my tattoos for one day, but I see being a Bridesmaid as kind of playing a role for someone. I get wanting her photos to not to be covered in 20+ years of crazy mismatched things. Even though I love our tattoos 😂
my mom has always encouraged my dad to talk about his deceased first wife, and to stay friends with the second he divorced (he was bullied into marrying her in the first place by her parents, they have totally different life wants and interests, nothing against her). they've been married for over 30 years at this point (longer than i or my sister have been alive, 27 and 25) his first wifes mother and father were grandparents to me and my sister when we were little, we even stayed over at their house a few times, and her mother considered my mother to be her daughter's successor in spirit, because they were so much alike in personality. personally, i feel like marriage means accepting everything about a person and trusting them, if you cant trust and feel secure with a person, dont tie the knot in the first place, move on and don't waste either of your time.
I had a massive piece done in honour of my ex partner who passed away in 2016 (my entire calf). If any new partner asked me to remove it (thankfully hasn’t happened), I’d run for the fucking hills. Couldn’t be a larger red flag if it tried. Grief is a Pandora’s box of emotion that shows up differently in every single person, I know for me that tattoo was a way for me to find closure and heal. If anything it’s a show of how deeply/ unconditionally you’re able to love those close to you... if someone can’t see that through their own insecurities that’s their loss imo 🤷🏽♀️
I know this is super old, but I have to say; a wedding, or any other public, celebratory, ceremony type of environment really, is NO place for an exposed vagina of ANY sort. I think that's kind of a basic social norm in general. I don't see asking one to cover their vagina in public as an unreasonable expectation.
The Giant Chussy!! So glad you found this one! It'll be up there for one of my best of the year nominations (I've been participating in the vote for a few years) alongside the extremely recent "Marinara Flag" Post (a dude was dead certain that Marinara and Alfredo were the Italian words for Red and White, rather than different types of pasta sauce.) The body or the post was deleted but as always, a bot saved a copy if you sort the comments by old, and it's coming up in the comments section of half of today's posts.
I’ve seen many of your reaction videos (even from 3+ years ago) and that’s crazy how your style evolved and you are absolutely classy ! Thank you for talking about tattoos like something good and meaningful, I got my first tattoo 3 days ago on my ribs !! I’m so proud of it !!!
The guy wanting to get the husband and son name removed needs a deep look into a mirror.... she said she healed, but in an accident like that you don't only loose two persons. You loose a past, a present and a planned future! You loose 3 lives altogether. The child was part of her for 9 months! It's not just 'whoops, it happened, oh well'. It is sooo complicated and needs great strenght and time to grieve and heal. It's not like a tattoo staying there from a breakup and the other person is still out there, able to make you insecure (which is also a very weak thing I think..). And the mother to understand the guy and kind of side with him... hope she never has to experience anything like that....
First of all I love your content! The first guy was most definitely the a**hole. I lost my fiancé suddenly back in February and plan on getting a memorial tattoo. And in the future if I find myself in a new relationship I would hope that my significant other would have enough respect for me to never ask for a removal. For one I loved him very much and will have a love for him for the rest of my life. And two he is the father of my unborn child and will always be a part of me and my life moving forward. That doesn't mean that I can't and won't love again. And if a new man in my life can't handle that then it just isn't meant to be.
Didn’t finish the video yet, but the fist story got me fuming ._. Obviously I can’t decide but if my partner said stuff like that about a memorial piece, they would immediately get dumped cuz that kind of attitude is unacceptable
Oof that first one... If he would ask her thoughts on removing them is one thing, but the "when are you" and already having looked into people to do it... It's her body?! He didn't even ask her opinion? That gives me very very bad vibes.. and then the cold shoulder... Is that not gaslighting?
regarding the bf who doesn’t want his gf to get another tattoo, i can understand having your religious beliefs not allow or condone tattoos, but it seems to me like he also has the expectations on his gf who isn’t religious. it just seems like maybe long term they won’t be a good match because he might want someone who will share his same beliefs. but i do think he went about it in a nice way, up until he gave her that ultimatum, which he seems to have heard.
Havent watched the video yet but your hair is so pretty! 🤩The background suits it too. Looking forward to watching this, i really appreciate all the effort you put into your content. 💕
As a heavily tattooed person, I get that tattoos aren’t for everyone. Like, if you’re with someone who WANTS tattoos and you think they look bad, my bet is y’all ain’t right for one another.
I am a widow myself and i also have a tattoo for him, and i would never remove it, or never date someone whom would want me to "move on" and remove it.
the first story : NTA, and as a photo editor myself, I also do wedding photography as a side job on the summer time, it really would't be easy to edit it out, especially is the guy is hairy!
1: NTA, fiance needs to get over it, he's jealous of a guy who is literally dead. 2: NTA, dude got a vulgar tattoo and it follows that he ought to cover it for formal occasions. Self expression is all well and good, but the line is at straight-up genitalia. 3: TA, saying he would "view her in a different way" is just not respecting her difference in beliefs. He brought up how converts don't have to remove tattoos they already had, which makes it sound like he thinks of her as a convert, which she isn't, she's not Muslim, and it's not fair to hold someone else to your religious values.
Totally agree, especially on the last one. Fully sounds like he considers her to be converted, or at least expects her to convert, with little to no regard for her own decision.
The last guy needs to break up with his girlfriend because he clearly doesn’t think it’ll work long term unless she changes everything about herself. Very weird and definitely emotionally manipulative. It’s obvious in how he tells the story. It shows in how confused the story made you too. He’s flip floppping all over the place.
I, for one, would appreciate beeing able to post my wedding fotos online without them getting deleted for graphic nudity because my brother decided that he just _has_ to display a random persons privates on his chest
My cousin insisted that I cover up my tattoo of our grandfather's face which is on my left upper arm. I also have tattoos on my wrists but she never mentioned anything about those being covered up. I agreed to cover them because it was her wedding so I understood that. I was ok with it until I saw that her soon to be sister in laws had visible tattoos of various things in the same location as our grandfather's face on my arm. I noticed this while my cousin's makeup artist is putting makeup on my tattoo. She didn't ask them to cover up anything only me. I can't say how I really felt but things haven't been quite the same between us since then.
Ngl yall need to talk about that. It Seems hypocritical and unfair but maybe she didn’t have control over what the other family does. Who knows honestly…
I agree with the poster above me that you need to have a convo and clear the air...I have a two part question: is this Grandfather hers as well? If it is it could be something as simple as she doesnt want the emotions and grief she feels over his death and his not being at the Wedding in person to cloud or dampen her positive and joyous feelings over what should be an incredibly happy occasion for her...seeing his face might bring on a flood of emotions that she would rather not have while shes getting married...she couldve gone about things in a different manner and explained things better, but I also understand why she may have chosen to remain silent on the whys of her asking to cover up vs letting his face shine in all his glory...Im so sorry for your loss and I hope you and your cousin can resolve things
There are many reasons why she wouldn't want to see your grandfather's face on her wedding day. I'm assuming you loved him so much if you got his face tatted on your arm, but others might not feel the same about him. You also mentioned she was fine with your other tattoos, just not the grandpa one. So, there's the hint that she just didn't want to see his face on her wedding day. Ask her why, if she prefers to keep it personal, don't pester her about it.
I have a memorial tattoo for my husband who passed. It is a sunflower with my favorite nickname for him, Sunshine. I will never have it removed or covered up. It was healing for me.
For the first one, the only instance that I could possibly see someone asking about a name tattoo is of an ex partner who is still very much alive but they broke up with. But for someone who passed away tragically PLUS the loss of a child it’s bloody ridiculous that this grown man is insecure about it.
I grew up in a culturally Muslim place (I am not believer myself) and I have NEVER heard of tattoos being considered a sin, let alone a "big sin". I know there is some debate on whether you can do the ritual washing properly with tattoos, and I have also heard some scholars say yes as tattoos lie under the skin. The environment I grew up in (but no longer live in) is full of young people with tattoos 🤷♀️ Also are you going to break up someole every time they "sin"?
I should add this isn't be throwing his religion back at him, but I don't see how this situation can be separated from his beliefs on tattoos. He obviously needs to be with someone who shares his beliefs on this.
@@ursulaking4411 that’s very interesting, thanks for sharing that context. I think there are points to be made about personal interpretations of religious texts, but regardless I agree that OP needs to find someone who shares his beliefs.
first one definitely not the asshole, and its not their ex husband, it's their late husband, and son who they will always love and should never have to give that up. new partner needs to understand that this is part of the package, take it or leave it
8:40 - NTA - I have a demon face on my back and if someone asked me to cover it for their comfort on their wedding I would definitely do it - it’s not that serious 😅
In the first story, not only is her partner the asshole, but that is a massive red flag. That screams future oppressive, controlling, abusive partner. Absolutely frightening.
I have a memorial tattoo for my husband. They are a part of me and I will never remove them. If I ever meet someone and am in a relationship then the must accept that as part of the person. That fiancé is the asshole.
On the first one its kind of tough. I wouldnt mind that tattoo anywhere but her chest so id ask if we could do a cover up and move it to another part because that would be kinda awkward when youre being intimate but its one of those things where id mention once have an in depth discussion and then go with what she decides.
Honestly that first dude... He shouldn't have even proposed to her if her honouring her dead loved ones makes him feel insecure. You don't just pick and choose what parts of your spouse you marry.
It’d be a stretch, but the deceased husband I could *maybe* understand. But her deceased kid??? You’re jealous over your fiancée’s dead four year old? Wtaf
And 3 years is not a long time to “get over it”
@Rachel Forshee :( sorry for your loss
Agreed! Also like “when are you gonna move on” uh… she did. With you dude! That’s all the proof he should need that she moved past that relationship wtfff
@Rachel Forshee I guess it would depend on the tattoo though. A name personally I dont think is bad. Its a name that is important to a person because it belonged to someone she loved very much.
If it where like a portrait though, I could see why someone would be uncomfortable. No matter how much you love someone, I would always feel weird beeing intimate with someone and seeing the face of their dead husband / wife / child. Even though that would bother me with portraits in general.
But that all doesnt really matter in this case, since he knew about the tattoo and stayed with her. Could have left just at the start if it made him that uncomfortable.
V*gina brother needs to calm down. That tattoo was a drunken decision, not a hill to die on or 'an extension of his personality'. Also, having the photographer edit it out, depending on the person, may come at an extra cost.
Also on top of that, beyond the wedding photos, people would have to look at it in real like and they would possibly say something about it afterwards
Seriously even as a tattooed person I wouldn’t want someone to attend my wedding with a visible graphic tattoo like that. It’s just not appropriate for the setting. If it had been normal tattoos I would’ve said the brides an asshole, but a whole vagina?
I can't even fathom how that brother in the second story thinks it's so important to have a vagina tattoo on display at someone else's wedding. =|
I was ready to call OP and asshole from the title but they have been nothing but accommodating to the brother. I, too, wouldn’t want a vagina tattoo on display at my wedding.
Right? Like there really isn’t much difference in showing that and going to the wedding fully nude. It’s common sense to know that probably isn’t going to be appropriate to show at a wedding, and basic respect to easily agree to cover it when asked by his sister
And to steal and corrupt the phrase “my body my choice” as an excuse? I know men use that phrase mockingly basically ALL THE TIME so we women are used to it and brush it off, but we shouldn’t. It’s fucking disgusting to use that in the wrong context, yet we ignore it all the time so we don’t get branded “oversensitive” or “snowflake”.
The fact that the guy waited till after proposing to do that!! Those tattoos are meant for her personally & her healing!! He's really the asshole. Not her.
I agree. I think this is a huge red flag: insecure, controlling men are NOT good partners.
Not mentioning your insecurities for a whole year of dating and then "asking" in that presumptuous way definitely isn't cool.
Not only that, but its not like that's a tattoo for an ex.
That's a tattoo for a lost family. If a person can't handle being in a person's heart along side instead of as replacement then they really shouldn't have proposed to a widow.
Especially because unless there's stuff being left out he has no reason to feel like he is competing with ghost's anyway.
I imagine that if she did remove the tattoo, she would grieve the loss all over again. He's more than just an asshole...
I dated someone once that has his ex's portrait tattooed on his chest. She passed horribly with his unborn child inside her. Leaving him and their oldest child alone. I knew him for so long and know how much she meant to him and what that tattoo means to him and his son. I wasn't ever jealous of a tattoo. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have someone else want something so personal removed. People are so cruel
I do kinda get feeling jealous. Even though jealous maybe isnt the right word but rather insecure? I myself would constantly ask myself "Does he love me as much as he loved her? Or am I just a rebound" and other stuff. But then people like me also should know, that a relationship like that isnt for them.
As much as I would love that person, I just wouldnt date them and let them find someone who fits them better and can understand / love them better than I probably ever could.
So if people cant live with that, they shouldnt date people who had a child or partner (or both) pass away.
My mom is a widow and she has her wedding band tattoo still and will never get it removed. I'm becoming a tattoo artist so I can do her touch-ups because her late husband was her tattoo artist before he passed. It's a really personal thing when you have memorial ink and no one should have a say in your tattoos unless they are offensive ect.
@@pkropka aww thank you🥰
What if somebody finds wedding bands offensive?
@@HkFinn83 Then they would have to find fault with a huge percentage of the Earth's population who like wearing rings in general, or anything society deems appropriate for the eyes of the masses(of which includes children and the faint of heart by the way) if a band around a finger is too upsetting, most would recommend isolating the easily offended, and not the conformists. So, unfortunately that argument is not even close to the same as a glaringly large depiction of reproductive organs being blasted across someone's body and being asked to please be modest for a family gathering.
But what do I know, I'm just a human, with eyes AND a brain that I use to think about the effect my words have on others, BEFORE I speak.
My apologies to our wonderful Lauren who brings fun friendly content.
But I felt it necessary.
@@HkFinn83 I believe they mean hurtful, like harming others. If you're a white person getting a tattoo with racist crap on it for example.
My aunt lost her husband two years ago, she got two tattoos on her after he died (she gave him a nickname after a mythology figure, and she got tattoos of said figure). My cousins said she should think if she wants to meet other men someday. I don't get it. It's not even directly my uncle's name, and what competition to new potential partner a dead man is? He is part of her life, it won't change.
that woman in the first story has to dump that guy. her trying to heal and keep a memory of her dead child makes him THAT LEVEL of insecure?? not someone you’d want to get married to and maybe start a family with since he wants to erase the memory of her lost family
Right! It's one thing him being insecure about the first husband, but to ask her to move on from her child... no, you don't get to do that!
@@kirstyphillips1972 exactly! like what level of insecure does one have to be to be jealous of your girlfriends dead child and former partner??
And he’s insecure about people that pose zero threat. It’s not like they may get back together or something. And she didn’t divorce this man. She was in live with him and he died. This guy is already showing the biggest red flags.
Gosh, I hope the first person doesn't follow through with that marriage. The person who is asking her to remove the name sounds like a manipulator. Firstly, he never mentioned it once in the entire YEAR they were, im assuming, intimate and dating but waited until they were engaged! That is only putting HER in a position to choose while he is just sitting there, obviously not understanding the trauma this person went through, losing her husband and her child. Secondly, he seems jealous of a man who has passed and obviously isn't a threat to their relationship. BIG red flag for me. She doesn't need to "move on" he needs to get over it.
Right? If he's jealous over a dead man what will he be like if she even speaks to other men or has male friends?!
Yes, this! I really hope she doesn't end up marrying him. That is very toxic behavior. A memorial tattoo is never something anyone should ever criticize, especially something so simple and tasteful. I love that she got her first husband's and son's name tattooed on her chest. Right over her heart, no doubt. That's beautiful.
My grandma says "theres no use in being jealouse of a dead man" she had to say this to her second husband after some snide comments he said
“I don’t want to force my beliefs on anyone!” “Except my girlfriend, I see her dating me as an extension of myself because I dehumanize her and feel I can ‘openly express disapproval’ of her bodily autonomy and use the ultimate of our marriage hanging over her head to force HER to conform to MY beliefs, that’s totally fine!”
The poster didn’t want his religion brought into discussion but he’s using it against her. He’s worried about his image and being judged.
No fr and it literally sounds like he expects her to convert if they get married. He keeps saying how he expects different things if they get married. He totally wants to use his beliefs to change her, and that’s not cool.
the biggest problem with the last one is that he's basically trying to "well, yes, but actually no" their relationship. really, he's just talking like a coward and being an AH in the process. he either needs to admit to being unsure or pick one. another tattoo either is or isn't a deal-breaker, but he's trying to have both by saying "we won't break up IMMEDIATELY but probably later"
Yeah, for the first way he said it I don't think it was a red flag. My partner was considering a flash tattoo which happened to look like an ex of mine. I said something similar, that I would rather he got a different flash or something custom because it would be difficult for me to get used to. Since the poster's reasoning is backed in religion it makes sense it would change how he sees her as while he's accepting of her (non?) religion now it seems like down the line he's expecting her to convert and wants her to behave in ways consistent with this.
Basically he is being honest, which I think is important in relationships. Some people see their partner differently after tattoos. It's not fair, but everyone has their lifestyle and aesthetic preferences so being informed of that before action is pretty important. But the way he gives himself an "it's ok now but not later" kind of thing was so gross. And his preferences are definitely dick-ish.
@@thenopedetective I said exactly the same thing...that he has been assuming she will convert eventually (despite her complete lack of interest in religion he's apparently taken her respectfulness of his beliefs and put his own twist on it). That's why he brought up thatsome people with tattoos convert. He ust appears to have forgotten to ever have a conversation with her about that being his expectation.
@@hawkeyescoffee6399 Yes!!! It seems pretty he experts her to convert to his "lifestyle" later on which is gross. Find someone who is already a part of your religion if you have to be with someone who shares your beliefs; don't try converting people who don't share it because that's just messed up.
Yeah and I do not like that. Sure, see the relationship differently but put your foot down more early on as an ultimatum for who you would and wouldn’t date instead of “well I’d rather you didn’t but it’s your choice but also then I don’t see us as long term as I thought cause you won’t do what I kindaaa want but also what I secretly realllllly want.” Cause now they’re invested in a committed relationship and it sounds serious, so they’ll definitely break up and she’ll likely get hurt more from the sounds of it
I'm an arab person living in an Arab country. I'm not religious but I can talk a bit about the tattoo situation. it really depends on the country and the culture. for example, in my country tattoos has been historically a sign of beauty. almost all the women (till my grandmas generation) had tattoos, especially on their faces and hands. so, tattoos are not stigmatized here. they're a sign of beauty
That's so cool! Do they tend to be for any reason/symbolism, or are they more aesthetic (for looks) like in America/UK?
I know in Japan and Korea tattoos are still very stigmatized (and still illegal in Korea I believe) because they were associated with gangs. In UK and similar places it used to be associated with criminals, but for the most part there isn't a strong connection with that anymore (unless you ask certain older people).
@@thenopedetective may had some meaning in the old religion. most of the old gods are somehow related to agriculture hence the floral patterns of the tattoos though I believe it turned into aesthetic one later. it's Ike wearing make up. most women have patterns mostly on their chins6, cheeks and some on the forehead. simply patterns with dots. men and women can have patterns on their hands especially on the thumb and index fingers.
this tradition is mostly gonein the cities and stuff but ppl still use temporary tattoos or with henna to replicate it when wearing traditional clothes 😊
That’s great to know!
@@SanaTT these tattoos Sound really interesting. Would you mind sharing which country/region your family is from? I'd really like to look into it!
I can relate to the last one. I've got a pretty alternative look (I have tattoos but not heavily tattooed YET) and my boyfriend is Christian with no body mods or tattoos. Early in the relationship he expressed that he may not be attracted to me as much if I were heavily tattooed. I told him that was my goal and I always expressed that was my goal. And pretty much gave him the ultimatum saying he has a right to preference, but more so I have a right to my physical expression and understand if he needs to leave the relationship to find someone that matches his preferences. He back tracked and apologized, told be he would still be attracted to me, and said he would just prefer If I didn't do solid black work which was fine I really don't plan on getting any. As a courtesy to him I don't ask for his permission for a physical change, but I just tell him anytime I plan to get another tattoo, piercings, or different hair colors/ alternative cut, so that he won't be stunned and caught off guard and knows what to expect. He's grown alot in regards to make me feel good about my alt appearance and even helps me with my tattoo ideas, helps me bleach/dye my hair, gives positive comments about my tattoos while we lie next to eachother, will ask what I plan to do next, and likes to treat my lil animals like characters and squishes them with his fingers to make them talk like puppets which I personally think is really cute 💚
The story with the boyfriend who uses so many of the 'good guy' words (I respect her choices, she shouIdn't care what anyone eIse thinks) is so disturbing when you objectively Iook at what's going on. He's guiIting her out of getting a tattoo by threatening that he won't see her the same way after which Iays the groundwork for any abuse he throws her way over it to be her fauIt (I toId you this wouId change things for me! I'm sorry, but I can't heIp the way I feeI), withoIding affection untiI she does what he wants, stringing her aIong in a relationship when he knows he doesn't want to marry her if she doesn't convert (which is absoIuteIy what 'reconciIing our different IifestyIes' means). This is an incredibly manipuIative person at work. The amount of doubIespeak coming out of him is terrifying.
Then he pretends to see that he was in the wrong whiIe being vague and not admitting how, just saying what peopIe want to hear so they'II congratulate him on being one of the good ones and emphasizing the accusatory comments so peopIe wiII defend him.
The muslim guy seemed emotionally manipulative.... Basically telling her he'd love her less if she got more tattoos while still pretending she's free to do whatever she wants.
in theory there's nothing wrong with saying "do what you want but I won't be staying with you," it's hurtful but it's blunt and honest, and evrryone can get on with their lives quicker. the bigger problem here (imo) is tacking on a "yet" to the end of "I wouldn't break up with you over it." it's like he's trying to only half admit that it's a deal-breaker (kinda like you said, he'd love her LESS, "but we can keep dating if you want to I guess")
@@lightishredgummi Totally agree with this! Part 1 he did his best and was honest, there was no ultimatum per se. But when it was brought up again it really was not well said and did get into manipulative language/stuff which would make it difficult for the woman to feel secure in that relationship.
The thing that bothers me is that he already *knew* she had a tattoo, but then got upset talking about 'the future' and how it would affect their relationship if she got another, all due to *his* beliefs. As if he just assumes that she has to conform to *his* beliefs because they're together. That's like if a vegan chose to start dating a non-vegan, then got upset that their partner still eats meat. It's ludicrous.
And my favorite part is that he says he's 'never tried to pressure her into his religion' or 'tried to force his beliefs onto her', but that's EXACTLY what he's doing by telling her a new tattoo would make him see their relationship differently. He even mentioned that 'people with tattoos before they converted don't need to remove them, so I was indifferent about her first tattoo'. So, the way I see it, he's acting like her dating him means she's 'converted'. So the first tattoo is regrettably overlookable, but now the new one would be a problem.
1. NTA. If he had a problem with it he should have brought it up way before proposing… that’s super manipulative and a red flag. Wanting to memorialize your dead family is very reasonable.
2. NTA. If it weren’t a tattoo of genitalia I wouldn’t be on OP’s side but I don’t think not wanting that showing on your wedding day is wrong PLUS she tried coming up with solutions and he’s acting like a massive AH about it.
3. YTA. Dude is basically giving her an ultimatum in a way because he’s implying heavily he won’t see a future with her long term. Why waste the person’s time if you know it’s a deal breaker in the future.
I just love AITA stories, I can't get enough of them.
1) Definitely NTA, tattoos are like a journal. The past doesn't get erased when you move into a new phase of life. Her fiance knew exactly who she was when they started dating and shouldn't expect her to change now that they're engaged. While I can sympathize that it might be disconcerting to see another partner's name during relations, he needs to find a way to get over it. It's not like it's an ex who alive and potentially a rival.
2) Also NTA, the brother is being unreasonable. I can't believe he wouldn't just wear the shirt buttoned up for his sister. She isn't asking him to cover any other tattoo. A vag tattoo is a strange hill to die on.
3) YTA, while I understand his attempt to be respectful in the way he expresses himself, I'm getting the vibe that she's good enough to f***, but not good enough to marry. Like the first story, you should accept your partner as they are and not expect them to mateially change based on a decision to marry. IMO, they don't sound compatible and should probably decide to part ways.
"A vag tattoo is a strange hill to die on." < THIS!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Imagine asking someone to remove tattoos of their dead ex husband and child. Absolutely repugnant, childish, childish man. 🚩🚩🚩
"I will support you in whatever decision you make, but only if you make the decision I agree with" - that's what some of these stories come down to.
If you love someone for who they are, let them be who they are. Don't try to push them into being who you want to be - that's just hypocritical.
For the first one the OP is 100% not the asshole. I lost my boyfriend a few years ago and got a canoe paddle in honour of him as he loved canoeing. Just because we still have these tattoos doesn’t mean we are clinging onto our past. And ever then our past makes us who we are now. And grieving over someone isn’t something you just get over. There will always be a special place for the people we once loved. If I was seeing a guy and he told me to remove my tattoo that would be a dealbreaker.
I still can't believe how good the neck tattoo looks. Also your hair is lightening up nicely !
That second one: man that brother is a groomsman-zilla. He blew up at her simply saying 'hey, can I not have a vag on display at my wedding please?'
If her brother truly cared about her he'd be willing to do something so small for her comfort. My mate had 4 bridesmaids and 3 of us are tatted. We offered to cover them for her. She said no cause none of ours are indecent but we cared enough to offer.
I think the biggest issue I have with the last guy is....he almost sounds like he expects her to convert if they get married? He keeps talking about how it’ll be so different if he settles down with her, how expectations of her will change...like...it really does sound like he wants a conversion, and that gives me ick vibes. Don’t marry someone and expect them to embrace your religion as their own all of a sudden. Don’t expect them to all of a sudden be willing to go by more religious rules. I hope they had a big discussion about that kind of thing, and I wish he’d be fully honest and transparent on what he expects from her if she becomes his wife. Cuz it sounds like they haven’t had a talk like that.
When it comes to the last guy, I personally honestly don't think he's an asshole, but I do think he's in the wrong in the sense that his issue with her tattoos is, well, his issue, not hers. And if the difference between their views would become a problem in the future despite him wanting to be with this girl long-term, it may simply be better for them...not to be together. Either that, or he's going to have to suck it up and not make his partner feel like they're doing something wrong by getting the tattoo. I sympathize with and understand him, but that ain't the right way to go about things.
Finally someone who understands this guy. His beliefs are keeping him from marrying this girl he loves very much. Not an a hole. Just stuck between love and religion.
I totally agree. He started dating her under the (false?) assumption that she would not get any more tattoos, and he obviously disapproves of them. He is obviously invested in the relationship now and doesn't just want to break up, or give her an ultimatum, which is understandable. I honestly think he should break up with her, as they are incompatible, but it's hard to do. As it stands, I think he did the best he could. He gave an honest answer about his opinion (which was requested!), and let her decide what to do. What more could you expect?
Agreed
the thing that makes him an AH is really just his phrasing with her, the whole "we won't break up NOW but we'll probably break up later." he can dislike tattoos all he wants but when it comes to his partner, he either needs to make the decision NOW or make it clear that he's unsure what would happen to their relationship (instead of trying to have both, which is what it sounds like he was doing). the way he handled it makes it sound like he was saying another tattoo would make him see his gf as a fling instead of a lifelong partner. that may not be what he meant, but he's leading her on and crushing her heart at the same time. that's a pretty AH thing to do, intentional or not.
it may be on the mild side, but I think he should still be considered an AH in this situation. he seemingly refuses to either pick one or admit to being unsure and instead went with the infinitely worse "well, yes, but actually no"
So WOW i went on a tangent about this BUT NO OFFENSE WAS INTENDED, i just can't stand gas-lighter's and hypocrites........................so peace and love to you and yours and hope you have a good night/day wherever you are.
it's not even his religious beliefs it's his religious community culture if "they" find out about the tattoos then the judgement on two of them afterwards could be/get worse.
Finding a balance between your faith, who you are, who you love and lastly others that share your beliefs is extremely difficult especially when some Communities Traditions (the people in power not the way of the faith mind you) gaslight their followers making themselves feel suppressed in living freely (in the you're doing it wrong: kind of my way or the highway logic.
)
All religions (excluding all made up cults conspiracies detours ones) are great groups IF and ONLY WHEN they are inclusive, like "oh you believe that meant doing it like so but i believe this was what is right/meant....oh agree to disagree and isn't our faith grand?" (unique/rare but still happens)
That's under the same beliefs umbrella not just coexisting in an interreligious relationship which OP never stated if GF was of the same faith or not to begin with, just a statement on tattoos and converting; so that would be a whole different can of worms going on there too.
If any religious community culture goes around and judges you cause you're not from the same mold they expected when you've said you follow the same faith or share the same values otherwise but claims their views are not wrong, THEY ARE THE A**hole.; they have a God Complex about being a Follower of Faith and are Gatekeeping, which is a stupidly common problem and annoying as hell.
In short i think the religious culture where he and his GF are Karens about tattoos and he was trying to balance out the consequences of her action to the life they were/wanted to plan...because he could see it spiraling, that's why the call for advise.
just sad all around 💙💜🖤💚🤍💛💖🧡
& now my mini rant about drama that i can only hope is resolve in the best possible way is over.
stay safe.
goodnight/day.
and that's all folks.
That first one screams RUN AWAY. How can someone be jealous or insecure of their partners deceased spouse and child. Omg.
I would never tell a significant other to get rid of a tattoo that had so much meaning to them. It’s not like the name was of an ex partner that was still alive. This was her husband and child who died in a horrific accident. He needs to grow up and realize these people are no threat to him and that this is a way for her to keep them in her heart. I think he’s the A hole.
The first one broke my heart. That poor lady...
For the first one. You have to be some kind of insecure person to be jealous like that over someone who is dead. They are gone. My mum is a widow and she has photos of my dad with us all over the house still and I can’t imagine someone asking her to take them down.
okay for the first one..even if the ex was alive and well, this person has the right to do WHATEVER they want to their body. keeping something with sentiment does not mean cheating. it means nothing. you can look back on your past without wanting to go back. ugh
Number 3...I agree with your confusion lol. If it's not okay down the line, it's not okay now. How can it be both? Like he wants a fling, but will ditch her when she wants to commit more?
My boyfriend is *somewhat* similar wherein he's honest about how he prefers me without tattoos, but doesn't care if I get them. I plan to be heavily covered in tattoos and he won't let that stop us from getting married and having kids in the future - even though he prefers that I stop getting tattooed.
I appreciate his honesty and am glad that we both see each other's perspective with compromise.
We're moving on from YOU, Julius, and we're not memorializing it.
Love your approach to you getting tattoos and not needing permission; so many people seem to feel that because you’re with someone you should discuss and have their opinion etc. Tattoos are for the person, and not to please the person you’re dating 🤪 I sometimes get sucked in like ‘should I have included my s/o in my process or my decisions about what to get’ etc. Hearing your voice cleared the fog
As someone who was widowed 3 years ago, I had a memorial tattoo on my chest a few months ago. My brother in law cried when he saw it as I hadn't told him I was getting it. It was cathartic to me to get it and I smile whenever I see it.
I won't remove it for anyone!
HUGE difference between moving on and pretending your past didn't happen.
When it comes to situations like the Muslim guy and the non religious girl I always have to wonder… why even be in a relationship to begin with? 😂 if this is the hill you’re willing to die on and not be able to deal with your partner having tattoos, why have a partner with tattoos? Considering marriage with a person is a huge commitment, and if this is something that would get in the way just end it now. She should be off living her best life with someone who likes her body and respects her being able to do what she wants with it lol
YOUR EYE MAKEUP LOOKS SO GOOD HERE OMG, ALSO ANECDOTE : The last one is the typical case of someone wanting to impose their beliefs onto their loved ones while still having good intentions, it's really conflicting. I have a friend who had the same problem not a long time ago : he's really religious and a super respectful person but he ended up breaking up with his girlfiend (that he planned on marrying and having childrens with) just because she wanted to let their kids choose their religion while he, on the other hand, wanted their kids to have his religion (apparently it's a common thing among some religions ? at least that was one of his arguments) and while i will always respect people choices here is where i strongly dislike some aspects of religion, or at least how some people practice it, like you know they don't come from a bad place at all but dude it's 2022 we de not impose our beliefs on people's lives, and what's bothering me so much about cases like this is that they know from day 1 how they want their life to be so why bothering people that you know won't align with it uh
That is not an isolated situation when 1 rather is religious and the other is not. I know of 2 couples this was an issue with. Both of the times the men were religious. They were too focused on what others thought and if they would judge their gf etc. that’s all it comes down to is “what will others think of them?” The one gf wasn’t allowed to go to a rock concert, get any tattoos, post her body on social media etc. it left such a bad taste in my mouth when people use their religion to control their partner.
I love this blouse on you. The contrast with your neck tattoo looks amazing!
My brother asked me to cover my half sleeve for his wedding and I obliged as I was a bridesmaid. The half sleeve wasn't vulgar or anything but it would make me stand out. Luckily the rest of my tattoos were hidden by my dress, if I had to cover them all I would've ducked out of the wedding all together. That would've been wayyy too much work lol
I felt like she shouldn't have needed to even ask him when it's something rude, especially since she said they're close. It's not as if it has deep sentimental meaning. She's been entirely reasonable, he seems to be wanting to start drama for some reason. I think he doesn't expect her to yeet him from the wedding, calling her a bridezilla was low considering the things we ear about the behaviour of some brides. As another comment said: it seems a weird hill for him to pick to die on.
@@hawkeyescoffee6399 I agree, she was being entirely reasonable in asking for that to be covered
This was an interesting collection of AITA stories! First one obviously NTA, how rude and unfeeling to want to erase the first husband and child! I’d rethink the marriage.
Second one also NTA ultimately, that tattoo could cause offence easily and she gave many good options to avoid it (like buttoning the shirts).
Third one obvious TA, he did all he could to make himself seem reasonable but is obviously a controlling creep and she needs to run away.
why is no one talking about the fact that lauren just called a cl*t a "fun button" omg 😂
For the last one I don't think it's about the tattoo specifically for him, but rather balancing a life where his religion is important to him but so is his non-religious gf. I feel like the tattoo was just the first of many discussions regarding their relationship. I don't think he's an a-hole, but asked in an a-hole way.
And he tried to make it about not his religion, when it's pretty clear from his descriptions the reason why no new tattoos is important is because of his religion.
i hate when people expect widows to do whatever they can to be a ‘clean slate’ for a new partner.
First dude gives me the ick. IT'S A MEMORIAL TATTOO. Why is he jealous/insecure about her dead husband and child... Red flag.
This hair color looks stunning on you 🦋✨
The first one is horrifying, that's a red flag to me that she should move on because he is never gonna stop being jealous of her first husband and child. If they had kids together he sounds like the sort of guy who wouldn't want her talking about her deceased son ever again. I'm makingnleaps but I've seen people like that before, that whole...why do you need to grieve your "old" child when we have a new one, just like he inks she should magically have no grief over a lost love. IME, part of being with someone who has been open about having lost everything once before is understanding that they will forever have to share a heart to the lost loved ones, and that it changes the persons out look on life somewhat. The person I'm most angry at is her mother, tbh. Imagine siding with your daughter's partner over your daughter about their deceased child (even taking the partner out of it, that's messed up). He's absolutely the ahole, OP is not and deserves better, honestly.
The second one I feel so bad for her, I feel like she's in a no win situation. Honestly, though I think she was daft to bring it up to him in the first place she should have spoke with her fiance and requested they not have the shirts unbuttoned, she could have handled it differently before talk to her brother, is what I'm saying. Too late now though. I think her brother is being a bit of an ahole just to make a point, I mean, it's your sister's wedding, there's going to be teenagers there and what have you, why would you even have to be asked to cover your graphic tattoo?
I'm no prude, but I feel you shouldn't subject people to sexual imagery they haven't consented to, just like you shouldn't send unsolicited d-pics, you shouldn't be showing unsolicited v-pics to a person. I kinda half feel he's calling her bluff, which is a dangerous thing to do, throwing out the term bridezilla over a perfectly reasonable request...sounds like he was just looking for an excuse to use that. Look, I'm not even that close to my brother (I love him, sure, but I'd not consider us friends, tbh) and I would never dream of turning up to his wedding with a giant duck tattoo visible front and centre, perfectly framed for all to be unable to miss. It's just massively disrespectful of the occasion and of her.
SO, she's now caught between having something like that visible at her wedding or possibly irreparably ruining her relationship with her brother...that said...one could also argue that he has already caused that damage by acting like a diva. There family may be used to and have accepted him for who he is but that doesn't mean she should put herself in the position of having to apologise for her brother literally being a giant c*. I find it hard to put myself in her position because if it were my brother & we were in this situation I would absolutely tell him to eff off then, but she said that they're very close and I don't know what that's like. I'd be interested what her fiance & her parents think about it.
As for the last one, I got the feeling he put the emphasis on settling down because even though he talks about how respectful they are of each others views and her being an atheist...he ultimately expects that if they marry she will convert and become a Muslim (from the few Muslims that I've known that's what I believe is generally what is expected if a Muslim marries a non Muslim, same with the Roman Catholic church...or used to be, not so much any more I think, my CofE bro married an RC girl in the 90s and he was expected to convert because I guess they think they're superior or something idk, he didn't convert, but compramised by allowing their kids to go to RC school etc - funnily enough both kids are atheist adults lol). I think that's why OP mentioned people with tattoos who convert, but the reason why he has an issue with her getting a new tattoo now that she is with him is that he's seeing it as an open rejection of his beliefs and his unspoken expectation, her wanting more tattoos is saying I have no intention of being Muslim. That's just the view I got of it.
He tried his best I think to handle things the right way, but ultimately still allowed his religious belief to rule his relationship & interaction. Despite saying he didn't want to discuss his religion (given the response I can't blame him, but then he probably should have just stated he was deeply religious and left it at that) there wasn't a way to separate his beliefs from the way he feels about her getting a tattoo because they're too tightly entwined. I hope he was able to have an open and honest conversation with her because it seemed to me like he was shying away from voicing his expectation, perhaps it's just so ingrained in him that he just has never realised that _she_ doesn't know that's what he would expect?
I'm actually surprised he would date a none Muslim if he is that strongly religious (the 2 muslims I knew would never have dared because of their parents/families reactions and expectations. Hell, the Muslim girl cut her hair while at uni without her mother's consent and nearly got disinherited over it, her mother had an absolute conniption, I can't imagine how she would have responded to her having an atheist bf) and the only reason I can see why he would is that he assumed she would convert eventually; still, if she was good enough for him to date then she's good enough to marry as the person she is without changing her. If her having a tattoo or getting more while with him is an issue for him then he should do them botha favour and walk away now, don't string her along on a "well I won't see you the same, but it won't break us up... probably won't be marrying you though" because that's gross. Sounds kinda like he was wanting his cake and eating it too, but doesn't want to wash the dishes after. 🤷 Ahole.
Just my 6p (inflation and all that) lol.
For the first one if they were still alive it may be a semi valid request but the fact that they passed away in a bad accident and hes still asking??? Absolutely awful
Love these AITA parts of the series the best! Thanks!! For the first, why propose if he's that bothered by the tattoo? Imo, you should never ask someone to remove a memorial tattoo. It's too personal. In her case, those two individuals helped make her who she is and if you profess to love her, you should also respect the life experiences that helped make her into the person you love. For the second, the brother should be more understanding... it's his sister's wedding. There's a time and place. Besides, it sounds like they were very willing to make sure he wouldn't feel singled out. All that speaks to how important she views their relationship and makes him look petty. For the last one, I think the bf, sadly, is confused and ended up confusing and hurting his gf. If he can't handle her having more tattoos due to his religion, he just needs to own up to it and decide if he needs to leave. If I were the gf, I'd change my mind about him too tho. They should each do what they want and if that means they need to end it, then so be it. If course, all of this is more painful in actuality but if they value different things, maybe they'd be happier with different ppl anyway.
You are awesome Lauren she is definitely not an asshole that tattoo means everything to her future love you Lauren and love your tattoo videos
No.3- my brother in Christ, your religion is the central cause of this issue. His religious beliefs are going agaist what is happening in the relationship. People always tiptoe around topics of religion because pointing out any fallacies is immediately seen as an attack. This guy is picking and choosing which rules to follow, and it isn't fair for anyone involved. Why would he date someone knowing that they have certain interests that are against his personal beliefs. He is TA, not because he is religious, but because he is wasting that girl's time.
If I start dating someone with ONE tattoo, I’m going to make one of two assumptions: 1. They only want one tattoo (cool); or 2. They plan on more and haven’t gotten them yet (super cool). As a heavily tattooed person, I like other tattooed people. Also, as a strong independent person, don’t come at me with that bullshit. We would be done.
I'm a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding. All of us have very different tattoo styles and they are very clashy against each other's, but that's ok normally. We're all pretty heavily tattoo'd. My sister's tattoos are going to be pretty well hid and she's going to cover her one or two that show because they are older and faded, plus in areas that are not going to 100% show.
She asked if she paid for the makeup artist to cover our tattoos would we be willing to and we all said yes. Because she just wants to not have distractions from the wedding photos themselves in the few main photos, but then when she said it wasn't about people actually seeing us but the few "mantel photos" I was like "wouldn't it be cheaper to pay to edit the tattoos out?" And she was like "🤯🤯🤯". So editing is a great option but if it was a vagina I wouldn't want that in my wedding at all. Maybe I'm just laid back about covering my tattoos for one day, but I see being a Bridesmaid as kind of playing a role for someone. I get wanting her photos to not to be covered in 20+ years of crazy mismatched things. Even though I love our tattoos 😂
my mom has always encouraged my dad to talk about his deceased first wife, and to stay friends with the second he divorced (he was bullied into marrying her in the first place by her parents, they have totally different life wants and interests, nothing against her). they've been married for over 30 years at this point (longer than i or my sister have been alive, 27 and 25) his first wifes mother and father were grandparents to me and my sister when we were little, we even stayed over at their house a few times, and her mother considered my mother to be her daughter's successor in spirit, because they were so much alike in personality. personally, i feel like marriage means accepting everything about a person and trusting them, if you cant trust and feel secure with a person, dont tie the knot in the first place, move on and don't waste either of your time.
Yessss!!! Thank you, AITA is one of my favourite kinds of your videos, they are so laid back and I can put them on and just relax to stories 😌✨
I had a massive piece done in honour of my ex partner who passed away in 2016 (my entire calf). If any new partner asked me to remove it (thankfully hasn’t happened), I’d run for the fucking hills. Couldn’t be a larger red flag if it tried.
Grief is a Pandora’s box of emotion that shows up differently in every single person, I know for me that tattoo was a way for me to find closure and heal.
If anything it’s a show of how deeply/ unconditionally you’re able to love those close to you... if someone can’t see that through their own insecurities that’s their loss imo 🤷🏽♀️
I know this is super old, but I have to say; a wedding, or any other public, celebratory, ceremony type of environment really, is NO place for an exposed vagina of ANY sort. I think that's kind of a basic social norm in general. I don't see asking one to cover their vagina in public as an unreasonable expectation.
The Giant Chussy!! So glad you found this one!
It'll be up there for one of my best of the year nominations (I've been participating in the vote for a few years) alongside the extremely recent "Marinara Flag" Post (a dude was dead certain that Marinara and Alfredo were the Italian words for Red and White, rather than different types of pasta sauce.)
The body or the post was deleted but as always, a bot saved a copy if you sort the comments by old, and it's coming up in the comments section of half of today's posts.
1. You dont remove a memorial piece no matter what the situation 🤦🏼 she is not the AH
I’ve seen many of your reaction videos (even from 3+ years ago) and that’s crazy how your style evolved and you are absolutely classy ! Thank you for talking about tattoos like something good and meaningful, I got my first tattoo 3 days ago on my ribs !! I’m so proud of it !!!
Love this series. Love the hair color. Yaaaaaaaas
Thank you so much 😄💖
The guy wanting to get the husband and son name removed needs a deep look into a mirror.... she said she healed, but in an accident like that you don't only loose two persons. You loose a past, a present and a planned future! You loose 3 lives altogether. The child was part of her for 9 months! It's not just 'whoops, it happened, oh well'. It is sooo complicated and needs great strenght and time to grieve and heal. It's not like a tattoo staying there from a breakup and the other person is still out there, able to make you insecure (which is also a very weak thing I think..). And the mother to understand the guy and kind of side with him... hope she never has to experience anything like that....
First of all I love your content! The first guy was most definitely the a**hole. I lost my fiancé suddenly back in February and plan on getting a memorial tattoo. And in the future if I find myself in a new relationship I would hope that my significant other would have enough respect for me to never ask for a removal. For one I loved him very much and will have a love for him for the rest of my life. And two he is the father of my unborn child and will always be a part of me and my life moving forward. That doesn't mean that I can't and won't love again. And if a new man in my life can't handle that then it just isn't meant to be.
Didn’t finish the video yet, but the fist story got me fuming ._. Obviously I can’t decide but if my partner said stuff like that about a memorial piece, they would immediately get dumped cuz that kind of attitude is unacceptable
Oof that first one... If he would ask her thoughts on removing them is one thing, but the "when are you" and already having looked into people to do it... It's her body?! He didn't even ask her opinion? That gives me very very bad vibes.. and then the cold shoulder... Is that not gaslighting?
i absolutely love these
regarding the bf who doesn’t want his gf to get another tattoo, i can understand having your religious beliefs not allow or condone tattoos, but it seems to me like he also has the expectations on his gf who isn’t religious. it just seems like maybe long term they won’t be a good match because he might want someone who will share his same beliefs. but i do think he went about it in a nice way, up until he gave her that ultimatum, which he seems to have heard.
Havent watched the video yet but your hair is so pretty! 🤩The background suits it too.
Looking forward to watching this, i really appreciate all the effort you put into your content. 💕
If certain tattoo(s) are to be that big of a dealbreaker for any partner, then those ppl really shouldn't be together.
I love how you called it "the fun button".
Yessss can't wait to see the video !
That first OP needs to throw the whole Julius away if he doesn't listen tbh
As a heavily tattooed person, I get that tattoos aren’t for everyone. Like, if you’re with someone who WANTS tattoos and you think they look bad, my bet is y’all ain’t right for one another.
I was waiting on a new video 🥰 just love your videos!
I haven't even watched the video yet - I just have to say that I LOVE this hair colour on you!!
I am a widow myself and i also have a tattoo for him, and i would never remove it, or never date someone whom would want me to "move on" and remove it.
Oh come on, the ex husband has passed away. How are you insecure about a dead man FFS???
the first story : NTA, and as a photo editor myself, I also do wedding photography as a side job on the summer time, it really would't be easy to edit it out, especially is the guy is hairy!
1: NTA, fiance needs to get over it, he's jealous of a guy who is literally dead.
2: NTA, dude got a vulgar tattoo and it follows that he ought to cover it for formal occasions. Self expression is all well and good, but the line is at straight-up genitalia.
3: TA, saying he would "view her in a different way" is just not respecting her difference in beliefs. He brought up how converts don't have to remove tattoos they already had, which makes it sound like he thinks of her as a convert, which she isn't, she's not Muslim, and it's not fair to hold someone else to your religious values.
Totally agree, especially on the last one. Fully sounds like he considers her to be converted, or at least expects her to convert, with little to no regard for her own decision.
The last guy needs to break up with his girlfriend because he clearly doesn’t think it’ll work long term unless she changes everything about herself. Very weird and definitely emotionally manipulative. It’s obvious in how he tells the story. It shows in how confused the story made you too. He’s flip floppping all over the place.
The hair looks great!
I get caught of guard every time I hear my music at the end of your videos haha!!! 😂 Another great video 🖤
Thank you for putting out good energy into the world! I know you hear it a lot, but your videos are great for the ol mood.
I, for one, would appreciate beeing able to post my wedding fotos online without them getting deleted for graphic nudity because my brother decided that he just _has_ to display a random persons privates on his chest
"I'm an independent woman who don't need no man" YAAARSS QUEEN
'I'm a Muslim.' YOU not her. Emotional blackmail.
My cousin insisted that I cover up my tattoo of our grandfather's face which is on my left upper arm. I also have tattoos on my wrists but she never mentioned anything about those being covered up. I agreed to cover them because it was her wedding so I understood that. I was ok with it until I saw that her soon to be sister in laws had visible tattoos of various things in the same location as our grandfather's face on my arm. I noticed this while my cousin's makeup artist is putting makeup on my tattoo. She didn't ask them to cover up anything only me. I can't say how I really felt but things haven't been quite the same between us since then.
Ngl yall need to talk about that. It Seems hypocritical and unfair but maybe she didn’t have control over what the other family does. Who knows honestly…
I agree with the poster above me that you need to have a convo and clear the air...I have a two part question: is this Grandfather hers as well? If it is it could be something as simple as she doesnt want the emotions and grief she feels over his death and his not being at the Wedding in person to cloud or dampen her positive and joyous feelings over what should be an incredibly happy occasion for her...seeing his face might bring on a flood of emotions that she would rather not have while shes getting married...she couldve gone about things in a different manner and explained things better, but I also understand why she may have chosen to remain silent on the whys of her asking to cover up vs letting his face shine in all his glory...Im so sorry for your loss and I hope you and your cousin can resolve things
There are many reasons why she wouldn't want to see your grandfather's face on her wedding day. I'm assuming you loved him so much if you got his face tatted on your arm, but others might not feel the same about him. You also mentioned she was fine with your other tattoos, just not the grandpa one. So, there's the hint that she just didn't want to see his face on her wedding day. Ask her why, if she prefers to keep it personal, don't pester her about it.
@@DD-po2hh I agree with you. I thought the same thing and I ended up giving her a call. The conversation actually went well.
@@MagnificentGreatness409 that’s great! Good thing it helped
i watched your videos in the lead up to my first ever tattoo appointment and am now the proud owner of the prettiest tattoo ever :))
Considering how expensive weddings can be if I’m paying for it I want it to go how I want as I’m paying a ton of money.
I have a memorial tattoo for my husband who passed. It is a sunflower with my favorite nickname for him, Sunshine. I will never have it removed or covered up. It was healing for me.
Your new hair colour suits you so well!!!
For the first one, the only instance that I could possibly see someone asking about a name tattoo is of an ex partner who is still very much alive but they broke up with. But for someone who passed away tragically PLUS the loss of a child it’s bloody ridiculous that this grown man is insecure about it.
Love that hair color on you! Badass vampire vibes!
I grew up in a culturally Muslim place (I am not believer myself) and I have NEVER heard of tattoos being considered a sin, let alone a "big sin". I know there is some debate on whether you can do the ritual washing properly with tattoos, and I have also heard some scholars say yes as tattoos lie under the skin. The environment I grew up in (but no longer live in) is full of young people with tattoos 🤷♀️
Also are you going to break up someole every time they "sin"?
I should add this isn't be throwing his religion back at him, but I don't see how this situation can be separated from his beliefs on tattoos. He obviously needs to be with someone who shares his beliefs on this.
@@ursulaking4411 that’s very interesting, thanks for sharing that context. I think there are points to be made about personal interpretations of religious texts, but regardless I agree that OP needs to find someone who shares his beliefs.
Obsessed with this hair color on you!!
If they are dead why is the man insecure…………
first one definitely not the asshole, and its not their ex husband, it's their late husband, and son who they will always love and should never have to give that up. new partner needs to understand that this is part of the package, take it or leave it
8:40 - NTA - I have a demon face on my back and if someone asked me to cover it for their comfort on their wedding I would definitely do it - it’s not that serious 😅
In the first story, not only is her partner the asshole, but that is a massive red flag. That screams future oppressive, controlling, abusive partner. Absolutely frightening.
Love the hair colour on you :D
I have a memorial tattoo for my husband. They are a part of me and I will never remove them. If I ever meet someone and am in a relationship then the must accept that as part of the person. That fiancé is the asshole.
On the first one its kind of tough. I wouldnt mind that tattoo anywhere but her chest so id ask if we could do a cover up and move it to another part because that would be kinda awkward when youre being intimate but its one of those things where id mention once have an in depth discussion and then go with what she decides.
I love this series !