My father worked as a secret agent in his youth in another country. He later told me he earned as much as seven times what a police officer did, but because he had to hide his identity, he pretended to work as a junior reporter for a small newspaper, he rode a rusty bicycle, and he lived in a small rental room. When he finally decided to get married in his late thirties, he dated some girls but they all called it quit when they thought he was poor. Finally he found a girl who told him she didn’t mind that he was poor, and they got married and she was my mom😊
Women who don't want to be Barbara the builder aren't doing anything wrong. Not sure why poor people want to date anyway. Nothing wrong with being single and getting yourself together. I'd have walked away as well. Good for your dad that he actually had it together. But there are far more cases of hobosexuality than dudes who are pretending and hiding their wealth.
My Father was a soldier who came from a farm and sometimes didn't have shoes. He wrapped his feet in rags during the winter. My Mother was fabulously wealthy, having grown up with servants and Korean slaves. She had a college education and had her clothes made for her. She was working as a translator for the military because it was fun. She married my Father because she said he was a good man who promised to show her the world. It didn't hurt that he was handsome but he had no idea he was good looking. His Mother had died when he was young. Nobody was around to pump him up. They stayed happily married until death. Money really doesn't matter. Hard work and love will always see you through.
When my finances are questioned my response was always "I'm good". Most of my friends and neighbors including girlfriend are financially sound anyway so it's never an issue to pocket watch and question each other wealth.
What she said at the end was GOLD. Every couple who thinks they’re totally in love needs to hear that. It’s amazing to me the number of people that get married without having these conversations. Or without knowing how to be truly open with one another.
they are running a radio show, they need to get to the point, and get through the story. some people would hem and haw for weeks and never get to the point.
I totally agree especially when they asked Why, notice he didn't answer he just said yes to the open ended answer they gave. Better it would have come from him directly
Agree. One host asked him a question and the other host interrupts the caller and answers. I literally said, “shut up!” Out loud when she kept talking over him. 🙁🙄😵💫😬
When I first met my husband, I noticed he paid everything in cash. He said he didn't have a credit card. I was very impressed. He was frugal and was careful with his money. That's how we lived for the next three decades. Honestly, I am more impressed with men who live simply than by men who try to impress and have bank accounts with hardly anything in it.
I'm glad it was obviously because he was smart with money. A person paying with cash and not having a credit card could be because they've been bad with money and are in a pile of debt.
I agree. My husband of 24 years was a financial train wreck. In spite of him, I was able to make it so we were debt free and able to pay cash for a condo after we sold our house. That's when he left me for.a younger woman. Now that I'm divorced, I want to marry a man that is financially responsible. I'm not looking for someone financially responsible to spend his money. I prefer someone who prefers to have money than spend money (like myself). I'm want someone that I can do life with without having to worry that they are destroying us financially. I've been dating successful men, but am still looking for someone with character who doesn't need to to drive the $200,000 car to build and grow with.
@@deniselittle5558 It can also mean they had recently filed bankruptcy and can therefore not have a credit card. They can have a secured card up to a small limit, generally less than $2000.
@@CanadianLoveKnot Oh, NO. We filed our income tax every year. We were employees so we received a form from the IRS that showed how much we earned. We weren't/aren't scumbags. We made sure we handled our finances well. We lived below our means. We earned our keep. We filed a joint income tax yearly. We live honestly and honorably. He loved his profession and wouldn't do anything to compromise himself or the public. You have a nefarious mind. There are still people who are honest and would not sell their souls to get ahead. We chose to live simply and it worked and still works well for us.
A lot of people that have money don't feel the need to flaunt it. People acting rich often do it because they are insecure. If you're actually rich you don't need to be insecure about it and show it off.
I have an employee that grew up dirt poor, I mean had to literally go to the creek to get water poor & he makes a great salary yet doesn't buy anything new or spend his money on things he doesn't need. He knows what being poor felt like & even at 34 years old- he has a fear of being back there some day. So- I think growing up that way takes a serious mental toll of your thoughts. Smart man as some women will spend his last dollar.
I wouldn't necessarily describe that as "taking a serious mental toll of your thoughts" though. Not buying things you don't need and being defensive of the money you are making as you're coming up from nothing is a great mindset to have. Now maybe as time goes by you can do some things to basically ensure you are never poor again and then one day to actually think about how to spend your money in a way that you enjoy because you have more than you absolutely need, but that seems very healthy to me. I also understand you can be in crippling fear of being poor even when that isn't the place you're in and that can cause damage, but I don't think what you described is that at all. Sometimes having it bad gives you motivation and appreciation for what you have that "normal" people don't have.
I grew up poor in farming community. Moved back 5 years ago. People need to realize. All you have to have is food and water. I splurge sometimes but I also know how to hunker down. My work is only 9 months of the year. I live on 150 bucks a week the other three.
I do this too. My bf doesn't know how much money I have. But I say "That costs more than I'm comfortable spending." 100% true. I can afford it, just don't wanna.
Im cheap too, my ex gf blamed me on this. And she was thankful i teached her to be careful with money. But still she spending crazy on expensive bags just bought a big truck, because she was jealous of my Tesla Model 3. But i paid that cash, and she has a loan. I bought that Tesla because i calculated it's the cheapest way for me to go to A to B. (Yes Gasoline is expensive here and electricity is dirt dirt cheap.)
@@HermanWillems you may discover that the Tesla isn't so cheap when you go to sell it. They drop like a stone in resale value. And you can buy a lot of gasoline for the amount you lose. Plus Hertz rental just flooded the market with 20,000 model 3 Teslas so that will bring the price down even more.
My husband is a simple guy. He just said it’s not my lifestyle, never lie but never show off his wealth. I didn’t get that he is financially successful until after I married him. We enjoy our simple life and financial freedom we have.
My husband did the same. He drove a crappy car and wore cheap clothes. I didn't know how well off he was till we were engaged. He says I did the same thing- that I kept my family's wealth hidden - but I didn't even think about it. I was just young and in love and didn't think about telling him my financial situation. I lived in a really simple home- nobody would have guessed how financially well off my family was.
@@HOLDXSTEELso him not being forthcoming about his financial status creates a relationship in which no one is lying 😂 I always discover bombshells once I become privy to a man's finances. That is where men hide their bad behavior, typically. My father is included in that group. Once he lost his ability to take care of himself and I had to manage his finances, I learned a lot about his character.
I can relate to this dude. Grew up in poverty and am doing very well now. Family members that are still poor try to mooch off of me often and it’s annoying so I would tell people I don’t have the money as well. More money, more problems and sometimes it’s just easier to avoid the problems altogether
Uhh NO. So your logic is you’re not gonna save and self control and be responsible A D WORK HARDER, because more money more problems? You say that like you even have the option to save more or that you have any harder work ethic. Dood you Lieeeeee! Haha read right thru you easy as a children’s book
"Her family went on a cruise a while back..." She definitely needed you to be part of that but you weren't. Telling her it was not your priority sends a strong message that you are not really into her. Sometimes you need to compromise a bit. (Advice from someone who is in deep deep debt lol)
Hell NO I would not go on a so called cruise. Biggest waste of money on earth and you go NOWHERE and see nothing. May as well just rent a hotel near an all you can eat buffet. Same damn thing and far cheaper. If you want to go on a cruise, buy a boat and go.
Cruises don't appeal to me, so I couldn't help but side with him on that one. Being around water constantly, getting sea-sick, and isolated with the same people non-stop. To be honest, I'd rather visit my cousin's dairy farm every day of the week.
Original owner of a 1998 first gen. 225k miles. I do all the maintenance myself, very easy to wrench on. Ultra reliable for me. I'll drive it until the wheels fall off.
Questions that they were supposed to ask: How old are you? What's your net worth? What are your plans long-term with this lady? How does she handle her finances?
Because it shifted from money issue to trust issue and communication. The advice he got isn't about financial matter because it isn't the actual problem.
I disagree. The fear that he had regarding her is imo a symptom of not wantinf the 'best material'-status and being afraid that would turn her off. The incident he mentioned was about "getting a better car" while he was completely satisfied. No matter his financial situation, it was a matter of being perceived as stingy while the truth is that he doesn't care about getting all that. It sounded like he's content but afraid that she wouldn't accept that (which is a fear he built up after experiences with other women)
This actually happened to me. I’m glad I did not know sooner because I think I would have endlessly questioned my motives, wondering if his money was influencing my decision to be with him. As far as I was concerned, he was a great guy, smart and kind and funny, and I wanted to be with him despite the fact I thought he was broke. We had 25 good years together before I lost him five years ago. I miss him every day.
Love this! I was too young and dumb to worry if my fiance had money (I was 18) but it turned out he was very financially well off. I'm glad I didn't know or care or ask! If I had found out he was rich, I would have questioned my motives for marrying him too. We've been married 23 happy years but I'm going to lose my husband soon too because he has brain cancer. I'm sorry for your loss.
I do the same thing. My good friend was trying to get me a job with him at Costco not knowing I was making $165k at my current job and I still feel a little guilty that I didn’t just tell him. But I grew up in a family of dry beggars and if they got wind of you having money, they’d have it spent for you in a heartbeat. So I’ve learned to keep finances to myself.
I think after 2 years, this girl has proven she’s not there for money. I get it in the beginning but it’s been so long. She might feel betrayed at this point
Regarding the headline: he never said he is "rich." He only paid off his house six months ago. Unless I missed it, he said nothing about investments, savings, or other real estate.
This, if he listens to Ramsey and just paid off his house, he does not have 500K+ in investments. He just has enough money that he could technically do just about anything, ONCE. He probably managed to pay off his house 6 months early by not taking that cruise. He really could not afford it, just like how he really cannot afford a brand new car just to look at, even if most lenders would likely lend him the money for one.
His problem is that he’s framing it as lying. You don’t need to disclose your finances to a gf. Just tell her you don’t wanna spend money on whatever it is she’s asking you about
I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong, never mind “lying”. This girl is a girlfriend. Not a wife. I never knew the finances of my boyfriends. When you start discussing marriage, then you start discussing finances. No way does this man need to tell a girlfriend about his finances.
@@katiejon17 Well, there seem to be a lot of people in these comments that think you must present your entire financial situation and net worth statement on every first date. They are wrong, of course. He said that he was beginning on the marriage path, and that's why he was getting ready to tell her. Which is completely appropriate.
@@Fred2-123 I agree that if they start discussing marriage, it would be the appropriate time to discuss finances in detail. But up until that point, it simply isn’t the business of the person you are dating. But society is off - adults will play house by living with their boyfriends/girlfriends, without committing to marriage... then get angry over not knowing all the details of their partner’s finances.
There is a TON of stuff that I could buy, but "I can't afford it" because it doesn't fit into my financial priorities. My newest car is 11 years old, but my house is almost paid off! It's not a lie to say you can't afford it if you have allocated your money elsewhere.
Well it seems clear to me that the girlfriend is NOT a golddigger. She sounds more like a keeper. He says he's not mooching off of her which sounds to me like she already knows how to manage her own finances. Plus when you said she went on a cruise with her family a while back clearly she either paid her own way or her family paid for it. So it seems like paranoia has set in with this guy thinking she might actually be a golddigger when she clearly isn't. He should have just been honest with her from the very moment they met instead of lying to her face. This is what boundaries are for.
Honestly, I disagree with a lot of the comments here. Nothing wrong with letting her know. Everyone is all like "but what if she's only in it for the money". Bro, if that's the case, I want to find out today so I can move on tomorrow and not in 5 years. It's not like if I tell my GF that I've got X amount in the bank that is suddenly, magically hers. You'll see how she reacts and then you can react accordingly. If she suddenly changes and starts either feeling entitled to the money or starts being manipulative you can just break up.
She has been with him 2 years thinking he is not rich... if she is a gold digger she isn't very good at it, lol. He said she seems to live a simple life.
@@summerthyme8270 Affordable is a relative term. Its not like he said "I only have $500 in the bank" or something like that. He mentioned he only recently noticed that it might be seen as lying which shows me he just had a different definition of whats "Affordable" I am sure we all have our own idea of what affordable is and they probably very quite drastically.
@@tidycats151 Well its not like you are going to go around telling girls you have money. Some do I guess, but they shouldnt be surprised when they find out their gf is only in it for the money. You do need to lie a bit if you dont want taken advantage of, to know your gf wants you, for you. I’d think after 1 year though, you would have a decent idea of who they were as a person.
I couldn't care less that people think I don't have money. I drive an older Toyota and purchase some of my clothing (some pre-owned, but in excellent condition) on eBay. A woman I'd met before stopped to chat with me in the grocery store. She told me where the food bank, thrift stores, and an organization that could help me with my utility bills were located. I have zero debt and a net worth approaching $14 million.
My answer to my teens that wanted expensive things was "We don't choose to spend money on that." When their dad died and they were worried about us having to sell the house i told them that that wasn't going to happen because we saved the money we didnt spend on other things and that was the money that kept us going until we got our feet under us again.
don't apologize; you've done nothing wrong in that regard; just slowly ramp up or switch out the places/experiences you do together until you're married, keep finances separate, split costs for doing, going places
The title of the video is funny. The guy is doing well, no debt, owns his home, etc but they never asked him his net worth so you can't say he is rich.
@@stevengtvWell, I'm debt free, own my home, and I can afford almost anything I want yet I don't claim to be rich and I don't fell rich. Well off maybe but not rich.
@@GAFB1122I’m in the same boat as you. “Rich” is always going to be a moving target and looks different to everyone. Most millionaires next door don’t ever feel “rich” they probably call it comfortable tho. I have good health, a home that’s paid off and a job I enjoy. I can buy anything I want within reason. I’m rich but I don’t call myself that either.
My dad is very frugal and humble but we all know he works really hard and after listening to Dave I realized my dad is a millionaire !!! 😅 He never brags or spends crazy money so everybody thinks he is a simple guy but when I brought it out to him he laughed and said to keep it hush hush 😂
I understand where he's coming from. Certainly in the beginning. You don't want a new person to know everything from the get go. As time goes by and the person sticks around you can slowly start revealing things.
This won’t be about not wanting to spend money on a cruise. It’s going to be about saying I can totally afford it, it’s just not a priority….to go on your family cruise! Hope she hears this because y’all are crazy to say he’s not a liar. She doesn’t care about the money but she going to care about this, bet.
Yes! He couldn't be honest that he just didn't want to go on the cruise. Used "being broke" as excuse rather than be emotionally honest. Who cares about the money. Big whoop.
Just because the lie isn’t “bad” like hiding debt, doesn’t mean it’s not a lie. They’re downplaying his lying since the lie is that he has money. The fact that he chooses to lie rather than have an honest conversation for two years is a major issue in terms of his maturity to be in a serious relationship. What other lies will he tell in the future to avoid conflict? Why is his own self peace an idol to where he will lie to save the discomfort of communicating? A lot going on here that was brushed over, IMO.
I totally agree with you. The other issue I see is he wants to be with someone he thinks is simple however she appears to still want to enjoy life, but if she gets with him, he doesn’t appear that he is going to reciprocate that. He, flat out lied. no matter how much you want it to be sugarcoated, the man lied.
My wife and I are on baby step three. We only have 3 months of emergency funds at the moment. She wants to take a trip this July. I told her that even though we have this money sitting in savings, we are broke. We have the money for a trip, but we can’t afford it. Is that a lie?
I completely disagree. What he is doing to protecting himself from people who would otherwise be trying to take advantage of his money. This is no different than an animal with bright colors convincing predators that he is poisonous.
@@barnabusdoyle4930 I have a friend ( my sister X boyfriend) my sister who has been poor her whole life, when she found out he had X amount of money put back was immediately like " you need to buy a new car" not understanding he is a independent truck driver and that money is put back for unexpected expenses like having to repair or replace parts on his truck. He has since then bought several rental properties, guy has his head in the right place where my sister just wanted to spend, spend, spend. Relationship did not work out well. Anna In Ohio
@@michaelspencer3586oh wow. And he probably feels he deserves it. I know someone who investigates fraud, would love to see someone go follow him around
He’s on the right path. Weddings and kids aren’t cheap you’re simply setting the tone for y’all’s future and making sure that yall never have to struggle. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Some folks say they don’t have money then you find out most of their income goes to OF subscriptions 🥴
Ya I wouldn't be mad at the money, but being lied to. If someone I knew intimately took 2 years to think "hey maybe she isn't a gold digger" I'm out just because I don't have a preconceived notion of people, and if I know them I don't think anything beyond that. Playing games and testing others is just immature and breaks trust.
I have done OK for myself and I do not let anybody know. I have had girls who knew I had money and they completely changed the way they treated me afterwards. The good thing is that I am so frugal and cheap that I never give into anything
I'd still ask you to sign a prenuptial agreement. I don't make a ton of money compared to some of the guys I've dated, but I'm very good with my money, don't have debt, and have some investments. I drive a used car and live with roommates. I'm all for getting married & working together to budget to buy a house, but I do like to be spoiled occasionally. Hopefully, you still do that. I've previously dated some guys who made good money and were thrifty, so I'm sure they were sitting on a bucket of $ but were so stingy that they didn't do anything to make me feel special, but still wanted to get hands on... anyway, it didn't workout. I really felt sorry for the guy because he wasn't happy & he was so afraid of being used that he put up weird walls. I'm now dating a wonderful generous gentleman. He generally takes me out on one nice date every other weekend. On the other days we do inexpensive or free things & cook together at some, and sometimes I make a picnic or prepare a super nice meal. It's important that both are generous in ways that are meaningful to the other. I love our inexpensive dates as much as the fancy ones because they take time to plan, and I like his ingenuity. I'm totally head over heals for him. I do love dolling up to look like arm candy for him and doing other things to show how much I adore him. He's so smart, kind, funny and fun. We're talking about marriage and I could see building a future with him. My conclusion is that my current relationship works well because we both feel loved. He's so open with me and yes, sharing what's his is part of it. I get to be feminine and sweet. It's really very beautiful. I'd highly recommend it. As long as she's appreciative and finds ways to reciprocate that you enjoy.
Good luck not being generous at all. A woman with worth won't put up with that very long. Like you don't have to go all out, but if you ask a woman on the first date, you should pay (unless if she's being greedy and ordering everything on the menu then RUN)
It sounds like they have completely different values surrounding money. They need to get on the same page or she's going to get resentful that he won't do these things with her. Listen to the subtext. She wants him to upgrade his truck, go on a cruise, etc. If they got married she would probably want a nice car, vacations, a nicely decorated home, and whatever else. Not that she's necessarily bad with money, but she just may not prioritize saving quite as much as him. Or she just may want to spend money on experiences and luxuries where he may spend more on tools and other "necessities". Either way, they will have a very strained relationship if they don't figure this out together.
It's not a lie..It's smart. I recently dated a woman who was beautiful, educated etc. She knew my house was paid for and that I own a plane, motorcycle etc. I was very generous paying for dinners etc. but there was always a subtle undercurrent of probing etc. I broke it off and never let her know if I had $$ or not. Keep your cards close to your chest fellas.
I agree, how well you are financially is not something the other needs to know until you're wanting to make things serious. A lot of ppl out there who will take advantage if not
Our 3 children in their 20’s are all currently in their first career jobs, self supporting, and live on their own. We have trust funds set up for them in the future, but want them to make their own way first. We have already talked with each of them about not telling boy/girl friends about their family money, so potential mates will not be swayed by the money, and that there will have to be prenups, should they get married.
So if she has hundreds of thousand in debt it's ok...it's her privacy. If in a serious relationship talking marriage you need to disclose what's going on no secrets or privacy. Lay the cards on the table so both know what they are getting into. No wonder why some of you end up divorced. If just dating not serious fine don't disclose.
I completely agree with this. I broke up with a woman last year because she wanted to be all up in my financial business, but had no interest in making financial plans together. See ya later, red flag girl.
I went on a date with a lady in D.C. that mistakenly thought that I was a Dermatologist. Only 30 minutes in she was sharing her big plans to go to law school and no joke mentioned how expensive it was going to be. Then it hit her at around an hour that I wasn't a Dermatologist and her face went from smiles to sours. She looked ill. She pretended all was fine but the date ended swiftly. Guys are so clueless.
@franciskeys9810 There is a difference between saying your happy with what you happy and you are broke. They have been together for years and he has been lying for years
They graciously invited him to spend family time with them on a cruise and he lied saying he couldn't afford it. So when he admits to his gf that he actually could have afforded it, she's going to hear, "I didn't want to spend my vacation time with YOUR family. That's not a priority to me."
My father married a second time after his first wife died. He had been a saver all his life but was not rich. The first thing he did was pay off all her debt. The second wife then got into all of his finances. She got her name on as many things as possible. She would wake my dad up at 2 am in order to wear him down to try to get him to sign financial documents. The second wife was instrumental in sending nearly 100K to scammers in Nigeria. Us kids finally stepped in and made the hemorrhaging stop. The goldigger did end up getting cancer and passing away before my father passed. I do not think that the comfort he received from her was worth the damage that she did to him and the family. I learned that it pays to be careful letting people know your positive financial situation until you know they are with you for the long haul.
You know… I do get the whole:.. love is blind thing. Though sometimes I do wonder how some people dont put a stop to some things, especially if they have the ability to do so.
Idk I think from a relationship standpoint being cheap is worse than being poor, if you’re poor you can’t do things but if you’re cheap then you don’t do things just because you don’t want to
I know of a guy who worked as a Systems Engineer at Microsoft, and didn’t tell his wife he had millions in stock options until their honeymoon. I guess it totally shocked her.
After I got married and we had a child we decided to buy a home. When discussing the down payment my wife said no worries I have it covered. I had never looked at her finances very closely and had no idea she had the depth of wealth that she did.
I have no problem with keeping an old car even if you can afford a new one. I’m the same way. But when the gf and family are going on a vacation that you can afford, but you say you’re broke…that’s gonna cause problems. Either you a) don’t like her family or b) are way too cheap with your money. If you can afford fun experiences with your family but refuse, you have issues with how you think about money.
We are all seeking for financial independence and a better way of life. My husbands lives a simple life with achieve with savvy investing, a frugal lifestyle, and cautious budgeting. I'm glad he learned early on to work hard for financial independence, every lady loves her man smart with money
Sincerely, your remarks have genuinely inspired me. I'm highly interested in investing and have a substantial sum of money that I'm willing to invest with the appropriate information. My greatest worry is losing money on a bad investment. As a result, I'm eager to hear your comments and ideas on how to invest intelligently.
I married a woman that came from nothing. She never questioned my saving a sizable amount of money and foregoing a lot of shiny new things. We ended up very comfortable and if something happens to me now, her lifestyle does not have to change. When she and I had a recent conversation about her having the security into the future, you could see the reaction on her face.
This has red flags all over it. I met a guy who didn’t tell anybody that he had won the lottery and he seemed strangely squirrelly . Ran into him some months later at a car wash and he admitted that he was a lottery winner and I didn’t really react at all. But it explained why he was so nervous around people. You might have a lot of money, but that doesn’t mean you’d be a great person in a relationship if that money is making you so nervous that you act that way.
better financially secure and nervous,, then broke with no health insurance and "calm." that wouldnt make me calm at all, knowing i'm one sprained ankle away from getting my power shut off.
If you had just won the lottery it would be a red flag if you weren't nervous. Going from not being rich to being rich is a huge responsibility and it's a responsibility most lottery winners are unprepared for. Of course there is going to be a transition period. And this situation is entirely different, because this guy didn't have a windfall profit. His wealth is a byproduct of the way he's been living for years.
Wow! He said he lied and the woman on the panel is attempting to find a spin. Unbelievable. I really wonder if the young woman he’s with has been muting herself and her curiosity about experiencing new things, to be with him. He possibly wants to “ get serious “ with someone who’s been sacrificing. She might think things will get better. I can understand him starting out this way or reacting to the disappointment of previous women trying to use him for money, but two years is a long time to lie to someone. It took him two years to see her heart and intentions? I don’t think so. He was wrong for this and why should she trust him?
Take this out of the relationship aspect for a moment. I understand the caller because I don't want anyone around me because of what I could do for them as opposed to just liking me. It's like living in a neighborhood where you don't talk to your neighbors. You put a pool in and your the only person on the street with a pool. And then over weeks, months you notice your neighbors introducing themselves, talking to you, etc. I HATE THAT!! And I don't do that to others. Case in point, I'll call my Dad today and wish him a Happy Father's Day and invite him to lunch, not because I think he'll give me something but because I want to!!
Wow I just learned that all I had to do to be cool in your neighborhood is put in a pool! Too bad I'm too cheap to do so, LoL. Now I wonder how my life could have changed.
I hid my financial position from my husband for many years. When he needed money I loaned it to him because we agreed to keep our finances separated. Now I feel guilty because I think I’ve presented him with a reality that’s not true and he’s working more than he needs to so he can build capital for us. My lies have consequences but he’s the one facing them and not me. This call makes me think it’s time I told him.
This guy is comfortable not spending money on things. It would not make him happy or feel better. He likes the security he has which he never had or saw while he was younger, a kid. He has not been sucked in by marketing who are always after our money. And feels no need to show off to others who do not even know him. He wants some one who is like minded in his life and never had positive results before attempting to find this. Good for him for being cautious.
My girlfriend knew right away. It's not a matter of knowing/not knowing. It's how they treat you once they know. My gf knows I'm a multi-millionaire and ahe still insists on paying for her own stuff and resists my generosity. Thus, it isn't an issue.
@@BillDaBurgerEater I may not have explained well. What I mean is she doesn't take advantange of me and doesn't act any differently than if I were middle class. She does her part, pays her things, and doesn't expect me, nor ask me, to pay for everything.
@@hosspullerl1119 I second this, there's programs where women are teaching other women that when they date rich men, to pay for their own things to let down their "partners" guard, be careful.
Idk if the comments are getting it. 2 YEARS. If you cant trust someone after two years, leave. If that isnt your future wife, leave. Definitely disclose and discuss finances before marriage. But otherwise, why are you with her? If you really have that level of trust issues, work on healing. I know if this were me, this lie of omission, would really hurt me. Idk if id stay in that relationship
I'm in a very similar boat, HOWEVER, I didn't lie to my partner about my finances. I was bled dry financially during my divorce and I worked extremely hard to get out of debt and save money. I have self control with my spending but I've never said "I can't afford something" to her. We have been together for almost 2 years and she knows I live comfortably, but I haven't shared my networth. She only realized recently that I was debt free because she didn't know I meant 100% debt free 😂 We currently split rent for an apartment which is great and hopefully the only time I'm in debt in the future, will be for a mortgage!
My best friend growing up considered two bean burritos and a water from Taco Bell was heavy spending, he saved every penny. 25 years later he lives in one of the richest neighborhoods in KC, with a 100% paid off house and zero debt.
I think Jade and George kinda missed a key part of the advice. If this woman has been with him for 2yrs knowing he is “broke”. Her heart is obviously in the right place and she’s not going to take advantage going forward anyways.
I agree. He wants to get more serious so he must trust her. If they get married and she sees he’s a multi-millionaire she’ll think he just didn’t want to go on that cruise… that might hurt a bit. She also needs to know that he may live his life ongoing not wanting to spend on cars and vacations, etc., because the real reason is not affordability. My brother-in-law has this issue. Millions of dollars and won’t leave a 50-mile radius of his home. Won’t change anything. His brother is worse. I hope this guy isn’t that crazy!
@@uria711Well he should find out now instead of waiting longer and longer. To be honest she might want to worry about a boyfriend who’s okay with lying to her for so long.
Honesty is the best policy, but when there are underlying issues, like past experiences, lack of trust, or differing priorities, circumstances can get more complicated...best wishes on transparent communication. This takes interpersonal intrapersonal skill...keep trying, if you envision a future with this lady.
They didn't really listen to him on this call. He feels guilty, because he lied about not being able to go on a FAMILY trip. If he tells her that spending money to be with her family isn't a priority to him, he's going to get dumped. They were so laser focused on the financial aspect of this call, they never even thought about the emotional part of the conversation. That's what he was asking about. I swear, sometimes, these hosts are so stuck to the Ramsey script, that they don't actually think.
Men….you have ZERO cause to disclose your financial situation to a girlfriend until marriage is on the horizon. Do NOT listen to simps in the comments or this channel!!
People you use the word "simp" is a simp, because you are a follower. How many hours do you spend on social media listening to like-minded folk to adopt that term 😂 You should turn off social media!
I agree with you. I don't like her repeatedly commenting on his Tacoma. Not her business at this point. And what are the things she keeps asking for that he says he cannot afford?
When he comes clean the gf is going to feel a level of betrayal. She's going to feel like he believes she is not worth the truth. That she is just like every other girl he dated and that will sting. Also, he could have admitted he didn't want to go on a cruise with her family but now since he lied about it, she's going to feel like he made up some excuse to avoid the ppl she loves. He wanted a Coming To America moment but it will backfire.
People react weird when money gets involved. But I think there’s a happy medium between lying to someone and telling them your poor, and flaunting wealth. Especially because money talks have to happen before marriage. She doesn’t need to know the entire package while dating, but a conversation about not being wise with money and debt is a good thing and doesn’t inject dishonesty in the relationship.
I think it's sweet that he doesn't reveal his success too early - at least then he knows that she loves him for him, not for his money. I don't see too much of a problem here.
Something is off with this guy. He is not “loaded” first of all, he may be amazing with money which is awesome. Not going on a family cruise with her or paying for anything means he’s just not that into her. If my now husband after two years didn’t want to go on a family vacation with me for no reason just because he didn’t think it was “worth it” is not great. Sometimes in a relationship you have to spend money or do things for the other person even if it’s not “exactly” what you want to spend money on. That is compromise and wanting to be with your partner for what they are happy doing too. I hope she finds someone else. She seems low maintenance.
Declining a family cruise by lying about being able to afford it is a bit bad though, because the other excuse is “I just don’t want to hang with your fam” or “I don’t want to go on this cruise with you”, which could be hurtful. It’s kind of not taking responsibility for the rejection.
He knows how to save, but not how to spend in a healthy way and in a relationship communication is necessary to move forward together and he’s feeling the pull of wanting to move forward together in his relationship while the fear of “spending “ is holding him back. Nothing wrong with spending money in a healthy way.
Absolutely. And if going on a reasonable vacation with her family is important to her for the relational aspect, then that's going to be a major problem in marriage if he refuses to go a and uses money as an excuse.
He's not handling it right, but his concerns are absolutely valid. He needs to own his choices and preferences, then communicate them honestly. "I don't want to spend money on that." Vs. "I can't afford it."
Im age 67..... drive a 2002 S-10 truck with 112,000 miles. Needs new brakes.... U- joints....... tires.. used it only to take calves to the sale barn once a week when I milked cows. Its paid for....... and I consider myself rich.... with 6 million in the bank. ( CDs as investments ) .
@@Resilientindividual Bank CDs are my investments. Wont do other investments...... never again. Invested 100,000 in the stock market over a broad number of investments... now 24 years later that 100,000 is worth 120,000..... Thats good investing ? Farm land is next in line....much better !
They aren’t married so he has no obligation to share the details of his finances with his girlfriend. But this sounds like they may not be matched well. If she values “newer and better” and he values “old faithful”, and if she values cruises with her family and he values staycations... this doesn’t sound like a compatible relationship, long-term. Because if they marry - she will be using his money for her values.
Meh. Or they could balance each other out. The point of being in a relationship is sharing life with someone, and unless you can clone yourself, that person is going to bring different things to the relationship. If it's balanced, that's a good thing!
Jade gave great advice! Rephrasing it as, that is his lifestyle and seeing if she's on board and on the same page! Beautiful way to bring everything on the table and either move forward or call it 👍
Naa he's just cheap. He's been with her for 2 years and he doesn't think that a family vacation with her family, to get to know the woman who he claims he wants a future with, is a good reason to dish out some money?! That's the part that threw me off because it makes me wonder how much he actually cares and prioritises her in the relationship. It's one thing to not be able to afford it but if a guy told me that he could and just didn't want to get to know my family I would be out.
@ollynolly4592 Do you really need to go on a vacation to get to spend time or get to know someone? No. Actually, it's faker than fake! In order to get to know someone, it is in the day to day...Not fairytale land.
the answer is simple, if you say you are having a hard time financially she wont bring it up as much. If you have the money to upgrade and don't you will not here the end of it..
This comment section is disturbing. It really isn't a good idea to lie to someone you love. If you can't trust someone don't be in a relationship with them period. All you guys who wanna hoard your measly 20$ away from the "gold digging women" need to go to therapy. Believing that 50% of the population is out to get you is paranoia, and preventing you from finding meaningful relationships.
That's people today BUT there are women who think the other 50% of humans i.e. men are out to do them wrong, etc. As I often say... there are good men and women AND there a bad men and women!!
Yep. And these guys with money can easily spot a woman who is just after their money vs someone with principle. If your gf keeps asking you to pay for her wants and needs all the time, it is a certainty. It is better to know if you are on the same page earlier when it comes to values and not just with money than to waste time guessing if you have the same value system unless you don't plan on getting married to anyone.
The problem with two hosts is that they both are talking at the same time, talking over each other, and shoot multiple questions at the caller at the same time and the caller can barely answer. If this show must have two hosts, then they should establish rules about like one person taking the lead intead of both trying to lead.
You know, it is funny. If a woman really is paying attention, she sees whatever any man is hiding. Women typically do not pick losers for the long term. I would not be shocked that when he tries to come clean, she will laugh at him and say: "I already knew this."
Being able to pay for something is different from being able to "afford" something, at least in the proper sense. I say that all the time, that I can't "afford" something, when I do actually have enough cash on hand that I could pay for it. It would be too high a percentage of my financial world where I don't think it makes sense. Like I say, "I can't afford to go out to eat every weekend." Yes, I do actually have enough money where I could do that, but I think it would be too much of a drain and I have other priorities, so I can't properly "afford" it.
I tell people I can't afford things all of the time (but not in a serious relationship). I might tell someone I can't go out to eat..b/c I know I already have plans to go out to eat that week and want to stick to my budget. My boyfriend would know why I'm saying no though...no, let's not go bowling tonight because we want to take a weekend trip next month, for example.
Yeah I find that friends/partners would respect your wishes and not pry. I am not rolling in it by any means, but I make a decent living and I live frugally so I can buy what is important to me. Quality clothing? Sure in a limited amount. Designer clothes? Pass. Eating out all the time? Pass! Getting to go on trips with my two besties at least once or twice a year? 100% yes!!!! Buying a luxury purse? Pass. Saving for retirement? Yes!
Probably not. Drive whatever you want, even if it's a 95 truck. But, not going on the family vacation under the pretext that he "couldn't afford it" is going to be a problem. There would be so many questions...so you could afford it, but you said you couldn't because...you didn't want to go on vacation with me? you didn't want to be around my family? you didn't want to take our relationship further? Foresee her being very upset, though not necessarily about money.
This actually happened to me. My second husband, boyfriend at the time was laid off. He is a carpenter and we met up north where we are from. I was going to school full-time, a single parents, and living in a project. After a few months, I noticed he would take me to nice restaurants, buy me gifts, etc.. When we got engaged ,he showed me his investment account - not huge by today's standards, but very decent for the late 90's. I also received a pretty big diamond that he inherited. I almost didn't date him when he said, "He was laid off." I was a gold digger but my first husband was always out of work and draining our accounts. My husband was an extremely hard worker who just saved his money and invested a little. We've been married almost 30 years and now he can't work due to injuries - I love him no less.
2-3 years ago I was hanging out win single and married friends. A wife shared the story how she and her husband meet. She said it was important to her that her future husband made good money or was very talks-both would be best. She encouraged the other single women to do the same. The married wife asked me about my dating life. I told them a women asked me what I do for work as her first question to get to know me. I said I worked “customer service” but didn’t mention I was a manager for major communications companies. The wife said “You shouldn’t test women!”…😂😂😂
You'd hate where I live. "What do you do for work?" Is nearly everyone's 1st question. I don't think their being completely rude, but they don't know how to make good conversation, or their looking for things in common like if a person does a job they likely took some of the same classes in college or they are trying to network. I don't care for the last one. Be my friend because you like me, not because you want something from me. I also lie about what I do. I'm a lady, and an engineer. People react odd to it, so it's better to not mention it. My lawyer friend does the same (she's also a lady). It's more so a problem with other ladies, like they are intimidated by our intelligence. Also, a lot of people assume I make more money than I do, but not all engineers make a ton of money. With anything, you gotta be good at it to make a lot. And also, good a marketing one self.
@@nleem3361i dont think anyones intimidated by you. Men are turned off by you because you act like a man. Can you cook or clean? Or does that trigger your feminist nature?
Bill Grainger, the founder of W. W. Grainger never told his wife just how big a company he had built or what he was worth back in the '60's, because he didn't think she could handle it. They were living a middle class lifestyle in Park Ridge, Il until one Sunday morning when the Mrs. opened up the Sunday Chicago Tribune with the headline in the Business section on Bill and the company he built. Once she knew, Park Ridge was no longer good enough for her and they needed to move to the North Shore to a huge house and a better country club. She then lived in fear that they were going to be burglarized. Bill knew!
I told my gf when we started dating im renting and saving for a house. I actually owned the house I was living in and have a unit as an investment. I was seeing if she would stay with me thinking I was broke or would be committed to build our lives together.
She knows where you work and that you own your home…she thinks you’re cheap, not broke.
And she's okay with that. He's gonna sit down with his girlfriend, have the heart to heart, and she's going to roll her eyes and say 'I know.'
Facts
Income and wealth are two different animals
she thinks he is smart and responsible with money.
Yep 😂
My father worked as a secret agent in his youth in another country. He later told me he earned as much as seven times what a police officer did, but because he had to hide his identity, he pretended to work as a junior reporter for a small newspaper, he rode a rusty bicycle, and he lived in a small rental room. When he finally decided to get married in his late thirties, he dated some girls but they all called it quit when they thought he was poor. Finally he found a girl who told him she didn’t mind that he was poor, and they got married and she was my mom😊
That's so cute!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰
That’s Super Man
Know it’s Clark Can’t
Women who don't want to be Barbara the builder aren't doing anything wrong. Not sure why poor people want to date anyway. Nothing wrong with being single and getting yourself together. I'd have walked away as well. Good for your dad that he actually had it together. But there are far more cases of hobosexuality than dudes who are pretending and hiding their wealth.
My Father was a soldier who came from a farm and sometimes didn't have shoes. He wrapped his feet in rags during the winter. My Mother was fabulously wealthy, having grown up with servants and Korean slaves. She had a college education and had her clothes made for her. She was working as a translator for the military because it was fun. She married my Father because she said he was a good man who promised to show her the world. It didn't hurt that he was handsome but he had no idea he was good looking. His Mother had died when he was young. Nobody was around to pump him up. They stayed happily married until death. Money really doesn't matter. Hard work and love will always see you through.
I disliked this comment just because your dad was CIA helping rightwing dictatorships couping their democratic elected leaders 👎🏻
"It's not in my budget," is the honest response.
True. Some people save 0 % of disposable income, some save 60%-80% or more.
Facts
Perfect answer. Its Not a lie
When my finances are questioned my response was always "I'm good".
Most of my friends and neighbors including girlfriend are financially sound anyway so it's never an issue to pocket watch and question each other wealth.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 absolutely! Even if they’re not financially sound, your business is your business. You don’t owe details or explanations.
What she said at the end was GOLD.
Every couple who thinks they’re totally in love needs to hear that.
It’s amazing to me the number of people that get married without having these conversations.
Or without knowing how to be truly open with one another.
Why do they keep over talking the caller, especially the guy in the glasses. This was hard to watch…
they are running a radio show, they need to get to the point, and get through the story. some people would hem and haw for weeks and never get to the point.
@elund408 Exactly 👌. Leave it to some of these callers, and they'll give you their life stories. 😂
@@elund408 True, but the glasses guy was very cold towards the caller and didn't try to understand him.
I totally agree especially when they asked Why, notice he didn't answer he just said yes to the open ended answer they gave. Better it would have come from him directly
Agree. One host asked him a question and the other host interrupts the caller and answers.
I literally said, “shut up!” Out loud when she kept talking over him. 🙁🙄😵💫😬
When I first met my husband, I noticed he paid everything in cash. He said he didn't have a credit card. I was very impressed. He was frugal and was careful with his money. That's how we lived for the next three decades. Honestly, I am more impressed with men who live simply than by men who try to impress and have bank accounts with hardly anything in it.
I'm glad it was obviously because he was smart with money. A person paying with cash and not having a credit card could be because they've been bad with money and are in a pile of debt.
I agree. My husband of 24 years was a financial train wreck. In spite of him, I was able to make it so we were debt free and able to pay cash for a condo after we sold our house. That's when he left me for.a younger woman. Now that I'm divorced, I want to marry a man that is financially responsible. I'm not looking for someone financially responsible to spend his money. I prefer someone who prefers to have money than spend money (like myself). I'm want someone that I can do life with without having to worry that they are destroying us financially. I've been dating successful men, but am still looking for someone with character who doesn't need to to drive the $200,000 car to build and grow with.
@@deniselittle5558 It can also mean they had recently filed bankruptcy and can therefore not have a credit card. They can have a secured card up to a small limit, generally less than $2000.
He paid everything in cash because he earned money under the table and doesn't pay tax on it.
@@CanadianLoveKnot Oh, NO. We filed our income tax every year. We were employees so we received a form from the IRS that showed how much we earned. We weren't/aren't scumbags. We made sure we handled our finances well. We lived below our means. We earned our keep. We filed a joint income tax yearly. We live honestly and honorably. He loved his profession and wouldn't do anything to compromise himself or the public.
You have a nefarious mind. There are still people who are honest and would not sell their souls to get ahead. We chose to live simply and it worked and still works well for us.
A lot of guys act rich when they're broke
This guy is acting broke when he's rich 😂
Also before a bunch of people comment it, I'll say it first: yes this is typically how people even get rich
A lot of people that have money don't feel the need to flaunt it. People acting rich often do it because they are insecure. If you're actually rich you don't need to be insecure about it and show it off.
@@krobdawg Bingo!
@@krobdawg Exactly.
Smart man. A lot of women these days are mooches. You gotta protect yourself.
I think she's a keeper from the sole fact that she's still rocking with you even though you're "broke."
😂😂😂😂 she's so amazing
@@JamilaJibril-e8h She's a keeper, he's not.
@@naca1553 yeah 👍
She might get pissed that he lied
In fairness, sometimes they'll stick with a broke guy if they think he has a real chance of becoming rich in the future.
"Behind every lie, there's a fear."
That really hit home HARD for me.
Thank you.
I now have some major reflecting to do.
I have an employee that grew up dirt poor, I mean had to literally go to the creek to get water poor & he makes a great salary yet doesn't buy anything new or spend his money on things he doesn't need. He knows what being poor felt like & even at 34 years old- he has a fear of being back there some day. So- I think growing up that way takes a serious mental toll of your thoughts. Smart man as some women will spend his last dollar.
I wouldn't necessarily describe that as "taking a serious mental toll of your thoughts" though. Not buying things you don't need and being defensive of the money you are making as you're coming up from nothing is a great mindset to have. Now maybe as time goes by you can do some things to basically ensure you are never poor again and then one day to actually think about how to spend your money in a way that you enjoy because you have more than you absolutely need, but that seems very healthy to me. I also understand you can be in crippling fear of being poor even when that isn't the place you're in and that can cause damage, but I don't think what you described is that at all. Sometimes having it bad gives you motivation and appreciation for what you have that "normal" people don't have.
I grew up poor in farming community. Moved back 5 years ago. People need to realize. All you have to have is food and water. I splurge sometimes but I also know how to hunker down. My work is only 9 months of the year. I live on 150 bucks a week the other three.
I do this too. My bf doesn't know how much money I have. But I say "That costs more than I'm comfortable spending." 100% true. I can afford it, just don't wanna.
Do you have him buy when you go out, or do you pay?
@bigfootnmore6619 this is an important question. Girl you better be paying for half the dates
Body count probably higher too.
Im cheap too, my ex gf blamed me on this. And she was thankful i teached her to be careful with money. But still she spending crazy on expensive bags just bought a big truck, because she was jealous of my Tesla Model 3. But i paid that cash, and she has a loan. I bought that Tesla because i calculated it's the cheapest way for me to go to A to B. (Yes Gasoline is expensive here and electricity is dirt dirt cheap.)
@@HermanWillems you may discover that the Tesla isn't so cheap when you go to sell it. They drop like a stone in resale value. And you can buy a lot of gasoline for the amount you lose.
Plus Hertz rental just flooded the market with 20,000 model 3 Teslas so that will bring the price down even more.
My husband is a simple guy. He just said it’s not my lifestyle, never lie but never show off his wealth. I didn’t get that he is financially successful until after I married him. We enjoy our simple life and financial freedom we have.
My husband did the same. He drove a crappy car and wore cheap clothes. I didn't know how well off he was till we were engaged. He says I did the same thing- that I kept my family's wealth hidden - but I didn't even think about it. I was just young and in love and didn't think about telling him my financial situation. I lived in a really simple home- nobody would have guessed how financially well off my family was.
You don’t. Let her think you’re poor.
Bingo!
What type of relationship is THAT going to form?????
@@shannonobrien9922the type where nobody is lying and manipulating!
@@shannonobrien9922 the type where she loves you for who you are and not for your money
@@HOLDXSTEELso him not being forthcoming about his financial status creates a relationship in which no one is lying 😂 I always discover bombshells once I become privy to a man's finances. That is where men hide their bad behavior, typically. My father is included in that group. Once he lost his ability to take care of himself and I had to manage his finances, I learned a lot about his character.
I can relate to this dude. Grew up in poverty and am doing very well now. Family members that are still poor try to mooch off of me often and it’s annoying so I would tell people I don’t have the money as well. More money, more problems and sometimes it’s just easier to avoid the problems altogether
Tell them to get a 2nd job that will make then go away.
Uhh NO. So your logic is you’re not gonna save and self control and be responsible A D WORK HARDER, because more money more problems? You say that like you even have the option to save more or that you have any harder work ethic. Dood you Lieeeeee! Haha read right thru you easy as a children’s book
"Her family went on a cruise a while back..."
She definitely needed you to be part of that but you weren't.
Telling her it was not your priority sends a strong message that you are not really into her.
Sometimes you need to compromise a bit.
(Advice from someone who is in deep deep debt lol)
That's why you're broke lol
Hell NO I would not go on a so called cruise. Biggest waste of money on earth and you go NOWHERE and see nothing. May as well just rent a hotel near an all you can eat buffet. Same damn thing and far cheaper. If you want to go on a cruise, buy a boat and go.
Family cruises are B.S. I'd go with my spouse, but not interested n going with siblings, parents, etc. Who cares?
@@debpratt52 Been there and done that and totally agree.
Cruises don't appeal to me, so I couldn't help but side with him on that one. Being around water constantly, getting sea-sick, and isolated with the same people non-stop. To be honest, I'd rather visit my cousin's dairy farm every day of the week.
Everyone is missing the point here, and that is the Toyota truck is an EXCELLENT vehicle, got 279K miles on the one I owned many years ago.
I know, right. I’m looking for a first gen Tacoma now hahah
Absolutely! One of the best vehicles on the road! I have a 3rd generation taco and I plan on keeping it until it falls apart.
Original owner of a 1998 first gen. 225k miles. I do all the maintenance myself, very easy to wrench on. Ultra reliable for me. I'll drive it until the wheels fall off.
1998 4runner, 350k miles, will drive it until it falls apart which is looking like never lol
@@sylvaniapr6814 I'll answer for us: none. no work just regular maintenance. for my parents with a bmw SUV: every month something breaks or leaks
Questions that they were supposed to ask:
How old are you?
What's your net worth?
What are your plans long-term with this lady?
How does she handle her finances?
Right? This show is going so downhill.
He could literally not have money and just live below his means, he might be able to put a down payment but not actually afford the payments
Because it shifted from money issue to trust issue and communication. The advice he got isn't about financial matter because it isn't the actual problem.
@@tidus1ph the questions above would still be relevant even with that issue
I disagree. The fear that he had regarding her is imo a symptom of not wantinf the 'best material'-status and being afraid that would turn her off. The incident he mentioned was about "getting a better car" while he was completely satisfied. No matter his financial situation, it was a matter of being perceived as stingy while the truth is that he doesn't care about getting all that. It sounded like he's content but afraid that she wouldn't accept that (which is a fear he built up after experiences with other women)
This actually happened to me. I’m glad I did not know sooner because I think I would have endlessly questioned my motives, wondering if his money was influencing my decision to be with him. As far as I was concerned, he was a great guy, smart and kind and funny, and I wanted to be with him despite the fact I thought he was broke. We had 25 good years together before I lost him five years ago. I miss him every day.
So sorry for your loss.
❤
Really sorry for your loss. No words in any language really express the depth of pain one goes through.
Love this! I was too young and dumb to worry if my fiance had money (I was 18) but it turned out he was very financially well off. I'm glad I didn't know or care or ask! If I had found out he was rich, I would have questioned my motives for marrying him too. We've been married 23 happy years but I'm going to lose my husband soon too because he has brain cancer. I'm sorry for your loss.
"Behind every lie there is a fear and a lie that you've been telling yourself long before you lied to someone else."
My man spitting bars 🔥 🎤
I do the same thing. My good friend was trying to get me a job with him at Costco not knowing I was making $165k at my current job and I still feel a little guilty that I didn’t just tell him. But I grew up in a family of dry beggars and if they got wind of you having money, they’d have it spent for you in a heartbeat. So I’ve learned to keep finances to myself.
I think after 2 years, this girl has proven she’s not there for money. I get it in the beginning but it’s been so long. She might feel betrayed at this point
I would question what else he's lied about.
Trust me, no woman has dumped a guy after she found out he is loaded.
@@alinatamashevich3354Lol if you're willing to make that bet, you don't have much life experience.
@@alinatamashevich3354wealthy men are a dime-a-dozen. I've dumped two. What's rare is someone who's honest.
@@daisy9910 Not smart guy leads with I have X amount of money early in a relationship.
Regarding the headline: he never said he is "rich." He only paid off his house six months ago. Unless I missed it, he said nothing about investments, savings, or other real estate.
This, if he listens to Ramsey and just paid off his house, he does not have 500K+ in investments. He just has enough money that he could technically do just about anything, ONCE. He probably managed to pay off his house 6 months early by not taking that cruise. He really could not afford it, just like how he really cannot afford a brand new car just to look at, even if most lenders would likely lend him the money for one.
Typical 'click bait' in the year 2024. It works.
Yeah this guy is actually broke still . Girl should get with me I’m an alpha
@@kaohsiung99 it works until we get sick of it and hit do not recommend channel
He's not "broke", he's comfortable
His problem is that he’s framing it as lying. You don’t need to disclose your finances to a gf. Just tell her you don’t wanna spend money on whatever it is she’s asking you about
I will just say it none of her business then question further relations with the woman.
I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong, never mind “lying”.
This girl is a girlfriend.
Not a wife.
I never knew the finances of my boyfriends.
When you start discussing marriage, then you start discussing finances.
No way does this man need to tell a girlfriend about his finances.
She smells a sucka. 😅
@@katiejon17 Well, there seem to be a lot of people in these comments that think you must present your entire financial situation and net worth statement on every first date.
They are wrong, of course.
He said that he was beginning on the marriage path, and that's why he was getting ready to tell her. Which is completely appropriate.
@@Fred2-123 I agree that if they start discussing marriage, it would be the appropriate time to discuss finances in detail. But up until that point, it simply isn’t the business of the person you are dating. But society is off - adults will play house by living with their boyfriends/girlfriends, without committing to marriage... then get angry over not knowing all the details of their partner’s finances.
There is a TON of stuff that I could buy, but "I can't afford it" because it doesn't fit into my financial priorities. My newest car is 11 years old, but my house is almost paid off! It's not a lie to say you can't afford it if you have allocated your money elsewhere.
Well it seems clear to me that the girlfriend is NOT a golddigger. She sounds more like a keeper. He says he's not mooching off of her which sounds to me like she already knows how to manage her own finances. Plus when you said she went on a cruise with her family a while back clearly she either paid her own way or her family paid for it. So it seems like paranoia has set in with this guy thinking she might actually be a golddigger when she clearly isn't. He should have just been honest with her from the very moment they met instead of lying to her face. This is what boundaries are for.
Honestly, I disagree with a lot of the comments here. Nothing wrong with letting her know. Everyone is all like "but what if she's only in it for the money". Bro, if that's the case, I want to find out today so I can move on tomorrow and not in 5 years. It's not like if I tell my GF that I've got X amount in the bank that is suddenly, magically hers. You'll see how she reacts and then you can react accordingly. If she suddenly changes and starts either feeling entitled to the money or starts being manipulative you can just break up.
Agreed. The more you hide your wealth, the more you seem like the guy who’s gonna have hidden bank accounts all over the place.
@@tidycats151 He did not lie.
She has been with him 2 years thinking he is not rich... if she is a gold digger she isn't very good at it, lol. He said she seems to live a simple life.
@@summerthyme8270 Affordable is a relative term. Its not like he said "I only have $500 in the bank" or something like that. He mentioned he only recently noticed that it might be seen as lying which shows me he just had a different definition of whats "Affordable" I am sure we all have our own idea of what affordable is and they probably very quite drastically.
@@tidycats151
Well its not like you are going to go around telling girls you have money.
Some do I guess, but they shouldnt be surprised when they find out their gf is only in it for the money.
You do need to lie a bit if you dont want taken advantage of, to know your gf wants you, for you.
I’d think after 1 year though, you would have a decent idea of who they were as a person.
I couldn't care less that people think I don't have money. I drive an older Toyota and purchase some of my clothing (some pre-owned, but in excellent condition) on eBay. A woman I'd met before stopped to chat with me in the grocery store. She told me where the food bank, thrift stores, and an organization that could help me with my utility bills were located. I have zero debt and a net worth approaching $14 million.
She walked away feeling good about herself because she "helped someone less fortunate." Bless her.
@@gloriaalex11I agree. She's a very nice woman.
How did you accumulate that much money/wealth? Just curious
Nah your cheap ass is doing to much live a little
@@kaohsiung99 I'm worth just over 2 million, and it is all from rental properties. The majority of wealthy people got that way through real estate.
My answer to my teens that wanted expensive things was "We don't choose to spend money on that." When their dad died and they were worried about us having to sell the house i told them that that wasn't going to happen because we saved the money we didnt spend on other things and that was the money that kept us going until we got our feet under us again.
Sorry for your loss, much respect to how you guys patented and managed finances that prepared you well
The woman behind the desk zeroed in on this ahead of the other guy. She finally got through at 1:45.
don't apologize; you've done nothing wrong in that regard; just slowly ramp up or switch out the places/experiences you do together
until you're married, keep finances separate, split costs for doing, going places
The title of the video is funny. The guy is doing well, no debt, owns his home, etc but they never asked him his net worth so you can't say he is rich.
I’m curious about his net worth too. But 100% debt free and able to “afford anything you want within reason” in my book is “rich”
Exactly why I watched the video… guy might be living in a paid off mobile home…. No idea if he’s actually rich….
@@stevengtvWell, I'm debt free, own my home, and I can afford almost anything I want yet I don't claim to be rich and I don't fell rich. Well off maybe but not rich.
@@GAFB1122I’m in the same boat as you. “Rich” is always going to be a moving target and looks different to everyone. Most millionaires next door don’t ever feel “rich” they probably call it comfortable tho. I have good health, a home that’s paid off and a job I enjoy. I can buy anything I want within reason. I’m rich but I don’t call myself that either.
Ramsey thinks anyone worth a million is rich lol.
Behind every lie is a fear. Wow. Profound truth.
Question: "How do I tell my girlfriend I'm actually rich?"
Answer: "YOU DON'T!"
thanks for the call.
Done!
100%
Caller did NOTHING wrong.
You don’t! Less complications that way. When you get married you may tell her. 😅
I feel this way too.
Exactly!!!
My dad is very frugal and humble but we all know he works really hard and after listening to Dave I realized my dad is a millionaire !!! 😅 He never brags or spends crazy money so everybody thinks he is a simple guy but when I brought it out to him he laughed and said to keep it hush hush 😂
I understand where he's coming from. Certainly in the beginning. You don't want a new person to know everything from the get go. As time goes by and the person sticks around you can slowly start revealing things.
This won’t be about not wanting to spend money on a cruise. It’s going to be about saying I can totally afford it, it’s just not a priority….to go on your family cruise! Hope she hears this because y’all are crazy to say he’s not a liar. She doesn’t care about the money but she going to care about this, bet.
100%. They let him off way too easy.
Yes! He couldn't be honest that he just didn't want to go on the cruise. Used "being broke" as excuse rather than be emotionally honest. Who cares about the money. Big whoop.
Just because the lie isn’t “bad” like hiding debt, doesn’t mean it’s not a lie. They’re downplaying his lying since the lie is that he has money. The fact that he chooses to lie rather than have an honest conversation for two years is a major issue in terms of his maturity to be in a serious relationship. What other lies will he tell in the future to avoid conflict? Why is his own self peace an idol to where he will lie to save the discomfort of communicating? A lot going on here that was brushed over, IMO.
Thank you!
I totally agree with you. The other issue I see is he wants to be with someone he thinks is simple however she appears to still want to enjoy life, but if she gets with him, he doesn’t appear that he is going to reciprocate that.
He, flat out lied. no matter how much you want it to be sugarcoated, the man lied.
My wife and I are on baby step three. We only have 3 months of emergency funds at the moment. She wants to take a trip this July. I told her that even though we have this money sitting in savings, we are broke. We have the money for a trip, but we can’t afford it. Is that a lie?
I completely disagree. What he is doing to protecting himself from people who would otherwise be trying to take advantage of his money. This is no different than an animal with bright colors convincing predators that he is poisonous.
@@barnabusdoyle4930 I have a friend ( my sister X boyfriend) my sister who has been poor her whole life, when she found out he had X amount of money put back was immediately like " you need to buy a new car" not understanding he is a independent truck driver and that money is put back for unexpected expenses like having to repair or replace parts on his truck. He has since then bought several rental properties, guy has his head in the right place where my sister just wanted to spend, spend, spend. Relationship did not work out well. Anna In Ohio
You saved yourself from Gold diggers. Great job man!
Now marry her, as she is a keeper, and give her a gift of a lifetime.
They’re a dime a dozen!
@@michaelspencer3586 And they come in both male and female.
I agree. I know of a guy that is paid a full time job under the table and collects disability! I’ve given up!
@@michaelspencer3586oh wow. And he probably feels he deserves it. I know someone who investigates fraud, would love to see someone go follow him around
He's going to lose this woman. He's a liar who doesn't trust her. Why would she stay with him.... because he has money? 😂
He’s on the right path. Weddings and kids aren’t cheap you’re simply setting the tone for y’all’s future and making sure that yall never have to struggle. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Some folks say they don’t have money then you find out most of their income goes to OF subscriptions 🥴
Ya I wouldn't be mad at the money, but being lied to. If someone I knew intimately took 2 years to think "hey maybe she isn't a gold digger" I'm out just because I don't have a preconceived notion of people, and if I know them I don't think anything beyond that. Playing games and testing others is just immature and breaks trust.
I have done OK for myself and I do not let anybody know. I have had girls who knew I had money and they completely changed the way they treated me afterwards. The good thing is that I am so frugal and cheap that I never give into anything
I'd still ask you to sign a prenuptial agreement. I don't make a ton of money compared to some of the guys I've dated, but I'm very good with my money, don't have debt, and have some investments. I drive a used car and live with roommates. I'm all for getting married & working together to budget to buy a house, but I do like to be spoiled occasionally. Hopefully, you still do that. I've previously dated some guys who made good money and were thrifty, so I'm sure they were sitting on a bucket of $ but were so stingy that they didn't do anything to make me feel special, but still wanted to get hands on... anyway, it didn't workout. I really felt sorry for the guy because he wasn't happy & he was so afraid of being used that he put up weird walls.
I'm now dating a wonderful generous gentleman. He generally takes me out on one nice date every other weekend. On the other days we do inexpensive or free things & cook together at some, and sometimes I make a picnic or prepare a super nice meal. It's important that both are generous in ways that are meaningful to the other. I love our inexpensive dates as much as the fancy ones because they take time to plan, and I like his ingenuity. I'm totally head over heals for him. I do love dolling up to look like arm candy for him and doing other things to show how much I adore him. He's so smart, kind, funny and fun. We're talking about marriage and I could see building a future with him.
My conclusion is that my current relationship works well because we both feel loved. He's so open with me and yes, sharing what's his is part of it. I get to be feminine and sweet. It's really very beautiful. I'd highly recommend it. As long as she's appreciative and finds ways to reciprocate that you enjoy.
Good luck not being generous at all. A woman with worth won't put up with that very long. Like you don't have to go all out, but if you ask a woman on the first date, you should pay (unless if she's being greedy and ordering everything on the menu then RUN)
It sounds like they have completely different values surrounding money. They need to get on the same page or she's going to get resentful that he won't do these things with her. Listen to the subtext. She wants him to upgrade his truck, go on a cruise, etc. If they got married she would probably want a nice car, vacations, a nicely decorated home, and whatever else. Not that she's necessarily bad with money, but she just may not prioritize saving quite as much as him. Or she just may want to spend money on experiences and luxuries where he may spend more on tools and other "necessities". Either way, they will have a very strained relationship if they don't figure this out together.
It's not a lie..It's smart. I recently dated a woman who was beautiful, educated etc. She knew my house was paid for and that I own a plane, motorcycle etc. I was very generous paying for dinners etc. but there was always a subtle undercurrent of probing etc. I broke it off and never let her know if I had $$ or not. Keep your cards close to your chest fellas.
Understood. Though owning a plane is a pretty big clue.
I agree, how well you are financially is not something the other needs to know until you're wanting to make things serious. A lot of ppl out there who will take advantage if not
3:40 this is simp/weak man advice, don't listen to it
Please elaborate
@@SilasWasHereWhy being sorry for the money you make? 😂
Our 3 children in their 20’s are all currently in their first career jobs, self supporting, and live on their own. We have trust funds set up for them in the future, but want them to make their own way first. We have already talked with each of them about not telling boy/girl friends about their family money, so potential mates will not be swayed by the money, and that there will have to be prenups, should they get married.
Not telling her your finances is not a lie it’s called privacy
Bingo! She is NOT his wife.
So if she has hundreds of thousand in debt it's ok...it's her privacy.
If in a serious relationship talking marriage you need to disclose what's going on no secrets or privacy. Lay the cards on the table so both know what they are getting into. No wonder why some of you end up divorced. If just dating not serious fine don't disclose.
I completely agree with this. I broke up with a woman last year because she wanted to be all up in my financial business, but had no interest in making financial plans together. See ya later, red flag girl.
I went on a date with a lady in D.C. that mistakenly thought that I was a Dermatologist. Only 30 minutes in she was sharing her big plans to go to law school and no joke mentioned how expensive it was going to be. Then it hit her at around an hour that I wasn't a Dermatologist and her face went from smiles to sours. She looked ill. She pretended all was fine but the date ended swiftly. Guys are so clueless.
@franciskeys9810 There is a difference between saying your happy with what you happy and you are broke. They have been together for years and he has been lying for years
😂😂 love this call. Yea the “cruise“ example is real. Cuz he skimped on “her family. It feels like guilt cuz he CAN, but he won’t.
They graciously invited him to spend family time with them on a cruise and he lied saying he couldn't afford it. So when he admits to his gf that he actually could have afforded it, she's going to hear, "I didn't want to spend my vacation time with YOUR family. That's not a priority to me."
Cheap guy who lies to not do things you would want to do.
My father married a second time after his first wife died. He had been a saver all his life but was not rich. The first thing he did was pay off all her debt. The second wife then got into all of his finances. She got her name on as many things as possible. She would wake my dad up at 2 am in order to wear him down to try to get him to sign financial documents. The second wife was instrumental in sending nearly 100K to scammers in Nigeria. Us kids finally stepped in and made the hemorrhaging stop. The goldigger did end up getting cancer and passing away before my father passed. I do not think that the comfort he received from her was worth the damage that she did to him and the family. I learned that it pays to be careful letting people know your positive financial situation until you know they are with you for the long haul.
You know… I do get the whole:.. love is blind thing.
Though sometimes I do wonder how some people dont put a stop to some things, especially if they have the ability to do so.
Idk I think from a relationship standpoint being cheap is worse than being poor, if you’re poor you can’t do things but if you’re cheap then you don’t do things just because you don’t want to
I know of a guy who worked as a Systems Engineer at Microsoft, and didn’t tell his wife he had millions in stock options until their honeymoon. I guess it totally shocked her.
After I got married and we had a child we decided to buy a home. When discussing the down payment my wife said no worries I have it covered. I had never looked at her finances very closely and had no idea she had the depth of wealth that she did.
This is so weird 😂
I have no problem with keeping an old car even if you can afford a new one. I’m the same way. But when the gf and family are going on a vacation that you can afford, but you say you’re broke…that’s gonna cause problems. Either you a) don’t like her family or b) are way too cheap with your money. If you can afford fun experiences with your family but refuse, you have issues with how you think about money.
Or c, you don't like travelling.
We are all seeking for financial independence and a better way of life. My husbands lives a simple life with achieve with savvy investing, a frugal lifestyle, and cautious budgeting. I'm glad he learned early on to work hard for financial independence, every lady loves her man smart with money
Sincerely, your remarks have genuinely inspired me. I'm highly interested in investing and have a substantial sum of money that I'm willing to invest with the appropriate information. My greatest worry is losing money on a bad investment. As a result, I'm eager to hear your comments and ideas on how to invest intelligently.
Hello! who is the consultant that assists you with yours and if you don't mind, how do I get in touch with them?
I looked up her name online and found her page. I emailed and made an appointment to talk with her. Thanks for the tip
I married a woman that came from nothing. She never questioned my saving a sizable amount of money and foregoing a lot of shiny new things. We ended up very comfortable and if something happens to me now, her lifestyle does not have to change. When she and I had a recent conversation about her having the security into the future, you could see the reaction on her face.
I totally get that. You want to be with a person who values you for what you are, not what you have.
This has red flags all over it. I met a guy who didn’t tell anybody that he had won the lottery and he seemed strangely squirrelly . Ran into him some months later at a car wash and he admitted that he was a lottery winner and I didn’t really react at all. But it explained why he was so nervous around people. You might have a lot of money, but that doesn’t mean you’d be a great person in a relationship if that money is making you so nervous that you act that way.
Well said
A lot or women just care about the money.
better financially secure and nervous,, then broke with no health insurance and "calm." that wouldnt make me calm at all, knowing i'm one sprained ankle away from getting my power shut off.
If you had just won the lottery it would be a red flag if you weren't nervous. Going from not being rich to being rich is a huge responsibility and it's a responsibility most lottery winners are unprepared for. Of course there is going to be a transition period. And this situation is entirely different, because this guy didn't have a windfall profit. His wealth is a byproduct of the way he's been living for years.
@@nathannewman655570% of lottery winners end up broke
Wow! He said he lied and the woman on the panel is attempting to find a spin. Unbelievable. I really wonder if the young woman he’s with has been muting herself and her curiosity about experiencing new things, to be with him. He possibly wants to “ get serious “ with someone who’s been sacrificing. She might think things will get better. I can understand him starting out this way or reacting to the disappointment of previous women trying to use him for money, but two years is a long time to lie to someone. It took him two years to see her heart and intentions? I don’t think so. He was wrong for this and why should she trust him?
Exactly.
I think a very good chance that Eli was.....like me.....born and raised in an old order Amish home
No woman has ever left a man after finding out he's rich. Never happened. Now do that with poor. Lmaoh
Take this out of the relationship aspect for a moment.
I understand the caller because I don't want anyone around me because of what I could do for them as opposed to just liking me.
It's like living in a neighborhood where you don't talk to your neighbors. You put a pool in and your the only person on the street with a pool. And then over weeks, months you notice your neighbors introducing themselves, talking to you, etc. I HATE THAT!! And I don't do that to others.
Case in point, I'll call my Dad today and wish him a Happy Father's Day and invite him to lunch, not because I think he'll give me something but because I want to!!
Wow I just learned that all I had to do to be cool in your neighborhood is put in a pool! Too bad I'm too cheap to do so, LoL. Now I wonder how my life could have changed.
I hid my financial position from my husband for many years. When he needed money I loaned it to him because we agreed to keep our finances separated. Now I feel guilty because I think I’ve presented him with a reality that’s not true and he’s working more than he needs to so he can build capital for us. My lies have consequences but he’s the one facing them and not me. This call makes me think it’s time I told him.
This guy is comfortable not spending money on things. It would not make him happy or feel better. He likes the security he has which he never had or saw while he was younger, a kid.
He has not been sucked in by marketing who are always after our money. And feels no need to show off to others who do not even know him. He wants some one who is like minded in his life and never had positive results before attempting to find this. Good for him for being cautious.
My girlfriend knew right away. It's not a matter of knowing/not knowing. It's how they treat you once they know. My gf knows I'm a multi-millionaire and ahe still insists on paying for her own stuff and resists my generosity. Thus, it isn't an issue.
Sounds like an issue to me. Why would she resist you if it's just a help to her?
@@BillDaBurgerEater I may not have explained well. What I mean is she doesn't take advantange of me and doesn't act any differently than if I were middle class. She does her part, pays her things, and doesn't expect me, nor ask me, to pay for everything.
@@dc1674 Beware ... girlfriends are not wives. Much will change after the marriage ceremony. And not all for the better.
@@hosspullerl1119 I second this, there's programs where women are teaching other women that when they date rich men, to pay for their own things to let down their "partners" guard, be careful.
@@hosspullerl1119 I'm 50 and divorced. I have been around the block before.
I’m in the same boat, had a chick tell me my house was old the other day meanwhile I own 20 of them as investments but she has no idea 😂
Uhm just because a chick tells you that your house is old doesn’t mean she thinks you’re poor. Maybe it means what it means; your house is old. 🙄
She's trying to tell u to remodel..
Idk if the comments are getting it. 2 YEARS. If you cant trust someone after two years, leave. If that isnt your future wife, leave. Definitely disclose and discuss finances before marriage. But otherwise, why are you with her? If you really have that level of trust issues, work on healing. I know if this were me, this lie of omission, would really hurt me. Idk if id stay in that relationship
I'm in a very similar boat, HOWEVER, I didn't lie to my partner about my finances. I was bled dry financially during my divorce and I worked extremely hard to get out of debt and save money. I have self control with my spending but I've never said "I can't afford something" to her. We have been together for almost 2 years and she knows I live comfortably, but I haven't shared my networth. She only realized recently that I was debt free because she didn't know I meant 100% debt free 😂 We currently split rent for an apartment which is great and hopefully the only time I'm in debt in the future, will be for a mortgage!
My best friend growing up considered two bean burritos and a water from Taco Bell was heavy spending, he saved every penny. 25 years later he lives in one of the richest neighborhoods in KC, with a 100% paid off house and zero debt.
I think Jade and George kinda missed a key part of the advice. If this woman has been with him for 2yrs knowing he is “broke”. Her heart is obviously in the right place and she’s not going to take advantage going forward anyways.
I agree, but in some cases once it’s revealed, the person has money then the other person will want to spend that money
I agree. He wants to get more serious so he must trust her. If they get married and she sees he’s a multi-millionaire she’ll think he just didn’t want to go on that cruise… that might hurt a bit. She also needs to know that he may live his life ongoing not wanting to spend on cars and vacations, etc., because the real reason is not affordability. My brother-in-law has this issue. Millions of dollars and won’t leave a 50-mile radius of his home. Won’t change anything. His brother is worse. I hope this guy isn’t that crazy!
@@uria711Well he should find out now instead of waiting longer and longer. To be honest she might want to worry about a boyfriend who’s okay with lying to her for so long.
That’s a woman who loves you . And she doesn’t care about your money . Now have a fun event telling her . Seriously make her smile
She will care that he's been lying and hasn't trusted her the whole time they've been dating.
Honesty is the best policy, but when there are underlying issues, like past experiences, lack of trust, or differing priorities, circumstances can get more complicated...best wishes on transparent communication. This takes interpersonal intrapersonal skill...keep trying, if you envision a future with this lady.
She'll punish him for not spending lavishly on him for the rest of his life and even after.
@@RepentImmediatelyyou are manipulative by framing it that way. Straight up gaslighter 😂
Honestly, what are the benefits of telling someone you’re wealthy? Especially before you marry them?
I would tell you, but my comment would probably get censored.
Keep secrets until after you're married. Great plan!
The problem isn’t not revealing his net worth, it’s that he’s been non stop lying, entirely unnecessarily.
@@KZSoze Right. Comenters are so concerned w/ her possibly being some kind of a gold digger or something but he doesn't sound like such a prize to me.
@@penelope5500I’d pass on him even if I knew he had money.
My husband was completely honest when he said he was broke.
A Truthful broke husband is better than a lying billionaire!
@@KnicksNYanks84 Agree! I was truthfully broke as well!
They didn't really listen to him on this call. He feels guilty, because he lied about not being able to go on a FAMILY trip. If he tells her that spending money to be with her family isn't a priority to him, he's going to get dumped.
They were so laser focused on the financial aspect of this call, they never even thought about the emotional part of the conversation. That's what he was asking about.
I swear, sometimes, these hosts are so stuck to the Ramsey script, that they don't actually think.
Men….you have ZERO cause to disclose your financial situation to a girlfriend until marriage is on the horizon. Do NOT listen to simps in the comments or this channel!!
People you use the word "simp" is a simp, because you are a follower.
How many hours do you spend on social media listening to like-minded folk to adopt that term 😂 You should turn off social media!
@@GAFB1122 Lets go with "White Knight" or "Captn-sav-a-304".
I agree with you.
I don't like her repeatedly commenting on his Tacoma.
Not her business at this point.
And what are the things she keeps asking for that he says he cannot afford?
Amen!
Date someone for two years and not let them know who you really are, let me know how that relationship works out for you
When he comes clean the gf is going to feel a level of betrayal. She's going to feel like he believes she is not worth the truth. That she is just like every other girl he dated and that will sting.
Also, he could have admitted he didn't want to go on a cruise with her family but now since he lied about it, she's going to feel like he made up some excuse to avoid the ppl she loves.
He wanted a Coming To America moment but it will backfire.
People react weird when money gets involved. But I think there’s a happy medium between lying to someone and telling them your poor, and flaunting wealth. Especially because money talks have to happen before marriage.
She doesn’t need to know the entire package while dating, but a conversation about not being wise with money and debt is a good thing and doesn’t inject dishonesty in the relationship.
I think it's sweet that he doesn't reveal his success too early - at least then he knows that she loves him for him, not for his money. I don't see too much of a problem here.
Something is off with this guy. He is not “loaded” first of all, he may be amazing with money which is awesome.
Not going on a family cruise with her or paying for anything means he’s just not that into her. If my now husband after two years didn’t want to go on a family vacation with me for no reason just because he didn’t think it was “worth it” is not great. Sometimes in a relationship you have to spend money or do things for the other person even if it’s not “exactly” what you want to spend money on. That is compromise and wanting to be with your partner for what they are happy doing too.
I hope she finds someone else. She seems low maintenance.
Declining a family cruise by lying about being able to afford it is a bit bad though, because the other excuse is “I just don’t want to hang with your fam” or “I don’t want to go on this cruise with you”, which could be hurtful. It’s kind of not taking responsibility for the rejection.
He knows how to save, but not how to spend in a healthy way and in a relationship communication is necessary to move forward together and he’s feeling the pull of wanting to move forward together in his relationship while the fear of “spending “ is holding him back.
Nothing wrong with spending money in a healthy way.
Absolutely. And if going on a reasonable vacation with her family is important to her for the relational aspect, then that's going to be a major problem in marriage if he refuses to go a and uses money as an excuse.
I would like to have heard Dave's response.
Dave would have asked how much money he has.
He should have gone on the cruise though. Ot sounds like he needs a balance between holding on to money and making lifetime memories.
He's not handling it right, but his concerns are absolutely valid. He needs to own his choices and preferences, then communicate them honestly.
"I don't want to spend money on that." Vs. "I can't afford it."
Im age 67..... drive a 2002 S-10 truck with 112,000 miles. Needs new brakes.... U- joints....... tires.. used it only to take calves to the sale barn once a week when I milked cows. Its paid for....... and I consider myself rich.... with 6 million in the bank. ( CDs as investments ) .
Shoot, any advice you can give me??
@@Resilientindividual Sure......save your money !
@@jerrylansbury9558 great! What about CD investments?
@@Resilientindividual Bank CDs are my investments. Wont do other investments...... never again. Invested 100,000 in the stock market over a broad number of investments... now 24 years later that 100,000 is worth 120,000..... Thats good investing ? Farm land is next in line....much better !
@@jerrylansbury9558 how much money would you recommend i start investing in a CD?
They aren’t married so he has no obligation to share the details of his finances with his girlfriend. But this sounds like they may not be matched well. If she values “newer and better” and he values “old faithful”, and if she values cruises with her family and he values staycations... this doesn’t sound like a compatible relationship, long-term. Because if they marry - she will be using his money for her values.
Meh. Or they could balance each other out. The point of being in a relationship is sharing life with someone, and unless you can clone yourself, that person is going to bring different things to the relationship. If it's balanced, that's a good thing!
Jade gave great advice!
Rephrasing it as, that is his lifestyle and seeing if she's on board and on the same page!
Beautiful way to bring everything on the table and either move forward or call it 👍
Naa he's just cheap. He's been with her for 2 years and he doesn't think that a family vacation with her family, to get to know the woman who he claims he wants a future with, is a good reason to dish out some money?! That's the part that threw me off because it makes me wonder how much he actually cares and prioritises her in the relationship. It's one thing to not be able to afford it but if a guy told me that he could and just didn't want to get to know my family I would be out.
These boys are okay but Jade really is the best one.
@ollynolly4592
Do you really need to go on a vacation to get to spend time or get to know someone? No.
Actually, it's faker than fake!
In order to get to know someone, it is in the day to day...Not fairytale land.
Smart guy. If she can live with you while broke she will be an asset when the money comes
the answer is simple, if you say you are having a hard time financially she wont bring it up as much. If you have the money to upgrade and don't you will not here the end of it..
This comment section is disturbing. It really isn't a good idea to lie to someone you love. If you can't trust someone don't be in a relationship with them period. All you guys who wanna hoard your measly 20$ away from the "gold digging women" need to go to therapy. Believing that 50% of the population is out to get you is paranoia, and preventing you from finding meaningful relationships.
Yeah! I agree! The comment section was concerning.
That's people today BUT there are women who think the other 50% of humans i.e. men are out to do them wrong, etc.
As I often say... there are good men and women AND there a bad men and women!!
Yep. And these guys with money can easily spot a woman who is just after their money vs someone with principle. If your gf keeps asking you to pay for her wants and needs all the time, it is a certainty. It is better to know if you are on the same page earlier when it comes to values and not just with money than to waste time guessing if you have the same value system unless you don't plan on getting married to anyone.
The problem with two hosts is that they both are talking at the same time, talking over each other, and shoot multiple questions at the caller at the same time and the caller can barely answer. If this show must have two hosts, then they should establish rules about like one person taking the lead intead of both trying to lead.
You know, it is funny. If a woman really is paying attention, she sees whatever any man is hiding. Women typically do not pick losers for the long term. I would not be shocked that when he tries to come clean, she will laugh at him and say: "I already knew this."
Exactly, it's honestly kind of insulting. She knows bro 😂
Hahah woman pick losers all the time especially their bad boys. The man is smart, women are greedy for money.
More than likely not. Smart men know how to hid their wealth. Silly woman
I really like this dude.
1. Lied to girlfriend to save money
2. When confronted about why not just be honest, he replied ''I mean yeah''
For heaven's sake, don't lie to the person you may spend a lifetime with. Build some trust!
Being able to pay for something is different from being able to "afford" something, at least in the proper sense. I say that all the time, that I can't "afford" something, when I do actually have enough cash on hand that I could pay for it. It would be too high a percentage of my financial world where I don't think it makes sense. Like I say, "I can't afford to go out to eat every weekend." Yes, I do actually have enough money where I could do that, but I think it would be too much of a drain and I have other priorities, so I can't properly "afford" it.
Not telling motivation and therefore hiding the truth is lying jade. George has it right on this one
gold digger! what lying?
I tell people I can't afford things all of the time (but not in a serious relationship). I might tell someone I can't go out to eat..b/c I know I already have plans to go out to eat that week and want to stick to my budget. My boyfriend would know why I'm saying no though...no, let's not go bowling tonight because we want to take a weekend trip next month, for example.
Yeah I find that friends/partners would respect your wishes and not pry. I am not rolling in it by any means, but I make a decent living and I live frugally so I can buy what is important to me. Quality clothing? Sure in a limited amount. Designer clothes? Pass. Eating out all the time? Pass! Getting to go on trips with my two besties at least once or twice a year? 100% yes!!!! Buying a luxury purse? Pass. Saving for retirement? Yes!
Always hide it as long as possible
I have the opposite problem, how do I tell her I'm broke?
She’s going to be so relieved after the whole “I gotta tell you something” conversation.
Probably not. Drive whatever you want, even if it's a 95 truck. But, not going on the family vacation under the pretext that he "couldn't afford it" is going to be a problem. There would be so many questions...so you could afford it, but you said you couldn't because...you didn't want to go on vacation with me? you didn't want to be around my family? you didn't want to take our relationship further? Foresee her being very upset, though not necessarily about money.
This actually happened to me. My second husband, boyfriend at the time was laid off. He is a carpenter and we met up north where we are from. I was going to school full-time, a single parents, and living in a project. After a few months, I noticed he would take me to nice restaurants, buy me gifts, etc.. When we got engaged ,he showed me his investment account - not huge by today's standards, but very decent for the late 90's. I also received a pretty big diamond that he inherited. I almost didn't date him when he said, "He was laid off." I was a gold digger but my first husband was always out of work and draining our accounts. My husband was an extremely hard worker who just saved his money and invested a little. We've been married almost 30 years and now he can't work due to injuries - I love him no less.
2-3 years ago I was hanging out win single and married friends. A wife shared the story how she and her husband meet. She said it was important to her that her future husband made good money or was very talks-both would be best. She encouraged the other single women to do the same.
The married wife asked me about my dating life. I told them a women asked me what I do for work as her first question to get to know me. I said I worked “customer service” but didn’t mention I was a manager for major communications companies. The wife said “You shouldn’t test women!”…😂😂😂
Lots of them are hypocrites, they test men all the time and when men do it they act like a victim 😂
You'd hate where I live. "What do you do for work?" Is nearly everyone's 1st question. I don't think their being completely rude, but they don't know how to make good conversation, or their looking for things in common like if a person does a job they likely took some of the same classes in college or they are trying to network. I don't care for the last one. Be my friend because you like me, not because you want something from me.
I also lie about what I do. I'm a lady, and an engineer. People react odd to it, so it's better to not mention it. My lawyer friend does the same (she's also a lady). It's more so a problem with other ladies, like they are intimidated by our intelligence. Also, a lot of people assume I make more money than I do, but not all engineers make a ton of money. With anything, you gotta be good at it to make a lot. And also, good a marketing one self.
@@nleem3361i dont think anyones intimidated by you. Men are turned off by you because you act like a man. Can you cook or clean? Or does that trigger your feminist nature?
Bill Grainger, the founder of W. W. Grainger never told his wife just how big a company he had built or what he was worth back in the '60's, because he didn't think she could handle it. They were living a middle class lifestyle in Park Ridge, Il until one Sunday morning when the Mrs. opened up the Sunday Chicago Tribune with the headline in the Business section on Bill and the company he built. Once she knew, Park Ridge was no longer good enough for her and they needed to move to the North Shore to a huge house and a better country club. She then lived in fear that they were going to be burglarized.
Bill knew!
"We must deceive them, so as not to hurt them, and in that way, we honor them." -M. Scott
Yeah 'cause if one woman did that, ALL will do the same...
@@EnigmaticDancer If you choose to generalize, that's on you.
@@dougholdem2898 then why was your exemple given for?!
@@EnigmaticDancer I was sharing a similar story. If don't see the similarities, not my problem.
I told my gf when we started dating im renting and saving for a house. I actually owned the house I was living in and have a unit as an investment. I was seeing if she would stay with me thinking I was broke or would be committed to build our lives together.
Until you are married your finances are your business - why would he feel the need to explain himself?