Silent treatment is also psychological abuse. One of the cruelest things someone can do is give hope and then take it away. I never experienced physical abuse, but sometimes I think I would have rather had that. I have so many health issues from this it’s insane. I feel like I’m dying a slow death. I’ve had broken heart syndrome, autoimmune issues, thyroid issues, kidney issues, migraines, not to mention depression and anxiety. Even though I know I’m not how he treated me, I still believe the things he said. He said I was fat and ugly and nobody would want to be with me and I would die alone. I’m starting to believe that bc I’m so damaged from the abuse, I don’t know that I’ll ever be the same. I deserve to be loved and have a relationship that is supportive.
I remember feeling like telling exactly what he did to me would never be believed by anyone. It was just so crazy that repeating it was crazy too. Anyone else feel that way?
This is so true! After 8 years of this kind of talk I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called Hashimotos Thyroiditis and I still have the bloodwork issues two years later, but now that I live alone I at least feel a little bit better. I'm still working on getting over and not believing what I was told about myself. Now I'm with someone that talks to me lovingly (and that knew me before since I was 12) and I'm soooo much happier and feel better because he talks me up and is my seriously supports me. Even though I still get sick pretty often bc I have several issues going on, he still didn't make me feel bad and reminds me of the arong and goofy fun loving person I used to be that I loved being. And he loves me for the person I am, not who he wishes/wants or someone he is trying to make me be. Good partners are out there but you can't find them if you're still with the wrong person.
Another form of abuse is manipulation by flattery (aka love bombing) to get your partner to do what you want (i.e. let you move in with them for free). Or when they blame you for their alcohol/drug addictions and make you (aka your unquestioning support) responsible for their sobriety. Or when they trample your boundaries time after time after time and over-talk you and, when you *do* manage to get a word in edgewise, tell you your feelings are wrong.
..or start a new job if in actual one you had to work with woman leader who is using abuse words in communication, eyeroling, and gaslighting technicks
@@meme-zv7kw there needs to be a reality to these leave, love yourself more black and white thinking. Some people’s personal situations make leaving worse. They need tactics and strategies to mitigate abuse while they plan their exit which could take years.
Woman HR leader at work use sarcasm, abuse in communication, eyerollying, and if she is writing in on group chat people are giving likes or hearts. Then i fell like i am strange that i am the only one who see it or fell that it is not ok. I fell lonely in this situation. And scared.
My current landlady is psychologically abusive, 3+ years now, made a total mess out of me, I only hope if I can get out of here, I can heal but, I honestly dont know of I can. The damage has been so severe. 😢
This topic is about the effect of trauma in familial or relationship or close friendshis. Your relationship with a boss, a supervisor at work, a client, a doctor, a landlord etc can be such where they abuse your boundaries, do not respect you, are verbally demeaning, but even though that can evoke core trauma from your past, it is not the type of trauma the video describes. Of course, core trauma can make someone go into Fight/Flight/ Freeze Mode when in even casual non-intimate relationships. Because of Core Trauma you can allow casual acquaintances to treat you badly. But even though such painful situations and dynamics in everyday casual interactions with people we don’t know closely remind our mind/body/ nervous system of Core Traumas, such casual interaction dynamics are on a very different scale from physical or emotional abuse in Familial or Intimate Partnerships or with a very close friend who has a constant pattern of emotional abuse.
We recently took the programme of Gottman couple therapy level 1, where you can read that in case of abuse, characterial domestic violence or even on-goimg extra-couple affair so couple therapy is contra-indicated.
I am in a constant state of fight or flight because of all the psychological abuse and now it manifests physically and I always feel like my heart is racing with a constant flow of cortisol and adrenaline. It can be debilitating at times.
I had a PHD CHO relational therapist who was a psychopath malignant narcissist like and was manipulatively charming and unexpectedly abusive in every sentence and then his groups into a cult around himself
My life partner is great. But at work still and still i am working with woman managers full of anger, eyeroling, bullying and its so sick for me and tiring.😢
That has been my most recent experience. It’s like they are insecure, so they work their way into positions where they can control people, devalue them to feel superior, and that makes them feel better about themselves. All forms of abuse are about power and control.
Their examples are extremely blatant and over the top. A covert narcissist/abuser is so much more subtle than this. If you only recognize emotional abuse as this very overt level of verbal abuse, you're going to miss about 95% of the abuse. I have had terrible experiences with every single therapist I've ever seen or dealt with who was trained in and promoted the Gottman approach. I've had bad experiences with every pastor who was big on the Gottman approach. That's now one of my rule-out criteria for a therapist. If he/she lists Gottman as a specialty, I run.
Yes. And sometimes it is covert contempt to the point you don't think anyone would believe you. "He's such a nice guy!"
Exactly. Which is why it doesn't matter if anyone believes you, you do what's right for you anyway.
Dr. Judy and Dr. John are like the grandparents I never had. “I deserve to have a relationship that is supportive, respectful, and caring.”
Abuse is a violation of marriage vows. Abuse is the opposite of love, honor/respect or cherish.
Thank GOD I ended my engagement SELF LOVE is the ultimate form of wealth the right person for you will never be toxic
Silent treatment is also psychological abuse. One of the cruelest things someone can do is give hope and then take it away. I never experienced physical abuse, but sometimes I think I would have rather had that. I have so many health issues from this it’s insane. I feel like I’m dying a slow death. I’ve had broken heart syndrome, autoimmune issues, thyroid issues, kidney issues, migraines, not to mention depression and anxiety. Even though I know I’m not how he treated me, I still believe the things he said. He said I was fat and ugly and nobody would want to be with me and I would die alone. I’m starting to believe that bc I’m so damaged from the abuse, I don’t know that I’ll ever be the same. I deserve to be loved and have a relationship that is supportive.
I remember feeling like telling exactly what he did to me would never be believed by anyone. It was just so crazy that repeating it was crazy too. Anyone else feel that way?
I tried and most ppl really didn't believe me until I had proof 😬
yes
This is so true! After 8 years of this kind of talk I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called Hashimotos Thyroiditis and I still have the bloodwork issues two years later, but now that I live alone I at least feel a little bit better. I'm still working on getting over and not believing what I was told about myself. Now I'm with someone that talks to me lovingly (and that knew me before since I was 12) and I'm soooo much happier and feel better because he talks me up and is my seriously supports me. Even though I still get sick pretty often bc I have several issues going on, he still didn't make me feel bad and reminds me of the arong and goofy fun loving person I used to be that I loved being. And he loves me for the person I am, not who he wishes/wants or someone he is trying to make me be. Good partners are out there but you can't find them if you're still with the wrong person.
Another form of abuse is manipulation by flattery (aka love bombing) to get your partner to do what you want (i.e. let you move in with them for free). Or when they blame you for their alcohol/drug addictions and make you (aka your unquestioning support) responsible for their sobriety. Or when they trample your boundaries time after time after time and over-talk you and, when you *do* manage to get a word in edgewise, tell you your feelings are wrong.
Also emotional and spiritual abuse!
It’s not a reality that everyone can leave and start a new life. Strategies for managing is needed.
You can't have something you can't lose. If you cannot leave your relationship, then you don't have one.
@@ZeviFriedman-f2s right, there is no relationship. People choose to stay for many reasons.
..or start a new job if in actual one you had to work with woman leader who is using abuse words in communication, eyeroling, and gaslighting technicks
TOTALLY DISAGREE no excuses love yourself so much you will walk away from this
@@meme-zv7kw there needs to be a reality to these leave, love yourself more black and white thinking. Some people’s personal situations make leaving worse. They need tactics and strategies to mitigate abuse while they plan their exit which could take years.
Woman HR leader at work use sarcasm, abuse in communication, eyerollying, and if she is writing in on group chat people are giving likes or hearts. Then i fell like i am strange that i am the only one who see it or fell that it is not ok. I fell lonely in this situation. And scared.
Exactly I blocked this family member 3 times and ask him to stop harassing me yet he kept calling my workplace and acting entitled and unashamed
My current landlady is psychologically abusive, 3+ years now, made a total mess out of me, I only hope if I can get out of here, I can heal but, I honestly dont know of I can. The damage has been so severe. 😢
This topic is about the effect of trauma in familial or relationship or close friendshis.
Your relationship with a boss, a supervisor at work, a client, a doctor, a landlord etc can be such where they abuse your boundaries, do not respect you, are verbally demeaning, but even though that can evoke core trauma from your past, it is not the type of trauma the video describes. Of course, core trauma can make someone go into Fight/Flight/ Freeze Mode when in even casual non-intimate relationships. Because of Core Trauma you can allow casual acquaintances to treat you badly.
But even though such
painful situations and dynamics in everyday casual interactions with people we don’t know closely remind our mind/body/ nervous system of Core Traumas, such casual interaction dynamics are on a very different scale from physical or emotional abuse in Familial or Intimate Partnerships or with a very close friend who has a constant pattern of emotional abuse.
We recently took the programme of Gottman couple therapy level 1, where you can read that in case of abuse, characterial domestic violence or even on-goimg extra-couple affair so couple therapy is contra-indicated.
Thank you for this!
I am in a constant state of fight or flight because of all the psychological abuse and now it manifests physically and I always feel like my heart is racing with a constant flow of cortisol and adrenaline. It can be debilitating at times.
John and Julie are the best ❤.
PLEASE LEAVE WALK AWAY
you're both amazing❤❤❤love you both
This was hard to listen to.. brought back many painful memories.
I had a PHD CHO relational therapist who was a psychopath malignant narcissist like and was manipulatively charming and unexpectedly abusive in every sentence and then his groups into a cult around himself
I'm afraid if Im dealing with this in a relationships or its just a difficult person, who wants my wealth through roughness??
My life partner is great. But at work still and still i am working with woman managers full of anger, eyeroling, bullying and its so sick for me and tiring.😢
That has been my most recent experience. It’s like they are insecure, so they work their way into positions where they can control people, devalue them to feel superior, and that makes them feel better about themselves. All forms of abuse are about power and control.
The best is when they do it to you in front of your kids...🙄
Yes I will leave this abusive family member Sanjeev and block him at all costs once again
Love you two
Their examples are extremely blatant and over the top. A covert narcissist/abuser is so much more subtle than this. If you only recognize emotional abuse as this very overt level of verbal abuse, you're going to miss about 95% of the abuse.
I have had terrible experiences with every single therapist I've ever seen or dealt with who was trained in and promoted the Gottman approach. I've had bad experiences with every pastor who was big on the Gottman approach. That's now one of my rule-out criteria for a therapist. If he/she lists Gottman as a specialty, I run.
Tell me if you have found resources that are helpful for narcissistic abuse?
But my partner is great 😊