Controlling Mother Tries To Force Son To Get Married
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ต.ค. 2020
- This video is a commentary on Akshay from Indian Matchmaking. He appears in episodes 5, 6, 7, and 8.
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He's from a rich family and can't talk to women in his 20's. They've made Rajesh Koothrappali a real thing.
Coincidence? I wonder if it's a common thing in India..
What is a Rajesh Koothrappali
@MATHA NOSHTO-MAN You have to be "alpha" every where,not just at work, even at home. Once someone know you are little bitch to your wife or girlfriend , you lose all your respect. All of this can be avoided if he India men learn to set boundaries from the get go, doesn't matter if she pretty or your mom like her she crosses the line she is gone.
Who is Rajesh koothrappali?
@@christoffstephens464 a character in The Big Bang Theory
Asian parents: no dating and no relationships.
also Asian parents: so when am I gonna get grandchildren
Fax
Well nowadays arranged marriages have their own benefits
well not Asian exactly, more like Indian and middle east
@@user-iy2ud1ki4l nah its that way even for east asians and southeast asians, believe me. i know.
@@nik-xt6vs damn, i must have gotten lucky then
Indian girl here! When this show first came out, so many people were making fun of Akshay and his mum's nature and I was one of them. A year or so later, I've realise that actually a) we've got SO MANY mothers like her. I can think of about 5 within my own family and b) I feel bad for Akshay.
Yeah toxic families ruins your mental peace. In my case both of my parents are toxic.
lol it's a whole different culture.
I'm a guy, and I go to my parents for more advice on finding a spouse than they come to me. So many Indian marriages are really strong, I think in much part because of outside influences and getting outside perspectives.
I would love to have Indian parents doing some match making for me! You can clearly see in the episode that he's not being pushed against his will, he's asked many times what he's looking for. They love him and want to help him find a good wife. It's not manipulation 😂
@@GideonHarrisYT this is very toxic behavior, him being compliant doesn't change that, he's compliant because he's essentially been trained.
@@GideonHarrisYT that's eastern culture family do some match making but the healthy one let you choose and I you decided not to marry they won't force you the down side is there are toxic one
Don't make your own children go through this if you understand
As as indian dude myself, I can confirm your analysis is true. My mom was a helicopter mom too and tried to cut me off from growing into a man, and my dad was too weak to care. They do it to control. If they can control your life, they can use you as a show piece infront of the relatives and friends to seem better than them all, only to make themselves "look good". It's bred from major insecurity and self hatred that is oh so common and normalized in Indian society.
I am sorry to hear that happened to you.
To add further to your comment, this behaviour is all about the image and reputation for the female (mother) in her social group. All the mothers try to out compete each other for who has the best family, husband, children, etc. The cost of this is the husband and sons are treated poorly, as displayed in this video.
My wife is from a similar culture and she now sees how bad this type of cultural practice is to families.
@@quietprofessional4557 I'm sorry but that's also because they want women to stay at home or get married away right after being educated. It's the men of the society it's the patriarchy that needs to be dismantle instead of blaming Indian women for a problem Indian men created smh 😒
@@anc2092 there are good and bad aspects to all cultures and societies . It has nothing to do with “male patriarchy”. Indian women played a role in creating their culture too so you can’t just blame it on the men.
@@anc2092 it's both men and women who create the cultural values of a society. Stop treating women like children who have no agency.
"Get married this year baby next year" goodbye dreams of independence
oh dear god Im just imagining that
Not if you fight for it. Even if it means facing harsh rejection/disapproval. Everybody deserves to pursue their life the way they want based on their own visions. Not of others.
I think your right if you want it its worth it regardless of the cost. And yeah I hear some guys say they want a girl with experience. Like HARD PASS ill teach her. I want her to be good at doing it with me not be good at doing it with hundreds of dudes.
@@Goodlifejake Exactly. We will both get experience together, not learn by fucking other people.
And you wonder why India has 1.5 billion people.
The moment I saw the look on the dad's face was the moment that I knew that the mom was toxic
@@koalaontree1371 what
The moment I saw her crazy eyes, I knew she was toxic
We have the same pfp🎉🎉 yay.
Sadly most moms from these countries(India, bangladesh etc.) are like that, I'm talking from experience
they have to be like that.
I feel really sorry for the dude. He’s a nice guy and even really smart. He just hasn’t taken many social risks and seems very uncomfortable with grappling with the possibility of social downside
he’s a week sheep. pathetic
I actually don’t think the social part is much of an issue. That can easily be compensated for by finding a very talkative and understanding girl.
The real issue is him not being able to stand up for himself. If he can’t stand up to his mother and take a leadership role, how can he be expected to be the head of a household?
@@LynetteTheMadScientist This is my point. You only develop those skills by getting out there and being in a variety of social situations where you have to be assertive.
I was paying rent at 15 after the loss of my parents. Independence is all I know. The life these people lead is completely foreign to me. I work hard and proud of what I have. This guy has all the resources but can't talk to a female and I have no problems with it. Women say they love that I've overcome a tough childhood and I am very interesting and inspiring. Struggle is a blessing folks.
Indeed, the guy in the video is an overgrown baby, which is gross.
You sound like an absolute hero dude, well done!
Im very similar to akash. The concept of independence is terrifying to me. Akash actually has the choice to move out and separate from his family but independence terrifies him too. If you've been controlled your whole life, it's not easy to regain control. Even the men I'm attracted to are controlling. So it's not as easy as "be a man! Choose for yourself", no he needs therapy and I do too.
you’re an inspiration
You’re giving the struggle too much credit. Many many people go through struggles and stay struggling. What you did was go through suffering and come out of it. Take the credit, if women say you’re inspiring and interesting, it’s all you and what you’ve done
My mother: If you don't get married, you'll die alone.
Me: Well, after I'm dead, it won't be my problem anymore.
I always tell people that the main reason I invest is so that I can afford to have a CNA wipe my arse on my deathbed
@@DoubleOddJosh you, my friend, are just a simple man with simple pleasures.
@@joel2628
Yeah there's some truth to that. The most exciting part of my day is waking up and buying $10 Worthy Bonds (not Werther's, I'm not that f'in old)
lmao
Me with crippling social anxiety fine by me lol
Freedom is worth more than money.
Just the comment I wanted to see
Spread the word brother
Peace out ✌🏾
it is?!
@@mrmud8531 Not for fools
True
Exactly! "The price of freedom has always been high"- Captain America..
The whole point of getting rich is so you and your family can live a better life but in this case their son has to hate them internally for the way they control his life.
I dated an Indian girl for 5 years. I can confirm that this happens to her. We had such a hard time going out doing things because she was always getting phone calls arguing with her mom and always demanding to go home when it starts getting dark. Even when we’re together, she could not tell her parents we were dating. She said her parents would be against it if they knew we were more than just friends. I’m not dating anybody with different culture background again. It was too much.
dont diss other cultures because of the shit indian culture, American women aren't that great either. European women are pretty cool and other cultures can be too. you never want to close yourself to new experiences
@@truthdoesnotexist he’s not dissing the Indian culture… and as an Indian I can agree that Indian culture is so different from the western that it can be really difficult for someone else to cooperate with it…
The "Before you sleep" thing wasn't kidding huh
5:36 am here in London 💀💀
11:30 in Colombia lmao
1:10 pm in Philippines. Already that time and this video was 5 sec ago.
@@deisk2707 12:51 am vietnam indochina.
10:56 rn i live in cali
Welcome to Indian Parenting.
And Nigerian parents most times
Most third world country
@The Medical Enthusiast they are no benefits to marriage.
@The Medical Enthusiast I can be really annoying, I'm have nothing against marriage, it's just the divorce laws
That explains the population of 1.4 billion
As an Indian I can tell you this happens extremely frequently...
I also had a similar story.
My mom died last year(2019), and remember I was 22 years old studying in 3rd BA LLB which is 5 years course..... So my brother in law, and aunt were forcing me to get married.... How am I suppose to raise a family when I am not even a college graduate???? Their reasoning was "your dad needs someone to cook food for" and my dad cooks extremely well.. I had to literally fight with them and scold them...
This is very normal in India..
Lmao wife maids and barter sons
Lol I remember my uncle telling my father that he's going to find a bride for his son because he's recently married off both his daughters and there's no girl to help the mother in the kitchen. My cousin was fairly young in his early twenties. Somehow my father convinced him that it's bad idea😂
Nonsense. My mom always tells me, lets wait 2 more years.. life suxx
I was not doing well in college and went through couple of life changing surgeries. And my best friend who knew what I was going through, when I said I am taking an year off, she said in front of my friends that YOU SHOULD GET MARRIED. I was so heartbroken, like woman you know what I am going through, why would you say such things. I am literally on deathbed every time I visit hospital.
My parents have accepted that I might take very different career course, as this king break has made me reconsider what I even want in life.
Bhai 22 year olds are typically kids in adult bodies. You did the right thing!
Sadly none in India realizes this is bad. For them, they are deciding everything for their kids, for their own good. Without their decisions their kids will do everything bad. Parents responsibility towards their children doesn’t end until they die. It’s sad and pathetic.
DUDE you made a story which every Indian parent and men should see... kudos
@IndianDude12
Exactly - this video is gold. I didn’t really realize how similar my life is to Akshay’s. I gotta move out and create some boundaries w my mom. If I don’t, I’ll be depressed and hate my life forever.
@Bihas 23 I believe in you! You can do it! Good luck my friend
I’d rather lose the support of my family than be forced into a marriage and have a parent micromanage my one life. As hard as it would be to lose that, I couldn’t imagine this. This would be hell.
I pretty much left my house at 14 becasue my mother was similar to this.
Indian are very religious and family loving people. But government is trying their best to break up family unit by making harsh biased divorce laws which only benefits women. Just 50 more years and India will be like west.
I've personally seen men on both sides of my family pressured into marriage and children and their lives were a living hell.
One drank himself to death and the other only comes to his home to sleep on the bed.
It's terrifying to witness
@@MRBlack01234 the west has forced the indian government upon us . What do you expect?
so true
As a Pakistani dude approaching my early 20’s, I had a long talk with my mother and she explained me how she did not have a choice when she got married due to the arraigned marriage system. She never had a choice and essentially the marriages purpose is to unite two families ultimately for financial or other material gain. She told me the dredd she felt of never having the chance of falling in love and finding the person she can dedicate everything to, you know the cliche you see in movies. Aunties and mothers are scarred by that and want to force it to their kids, becoming their own purpose for raising a family. It really scars the woman because as humans we have the concept of general free will. It’s a really toxic system which just in my opinion is just not feasible in our current evolving society. These traditions especially in eastern cultures are a gray area we know is messed up but can’t do anything about it because you will be outcasted.
@Slave of Allah It is a blessing indeed, until your mate is a demon under a human skin .
Soooo true
I think it scars women more to encourage them to take stranger D from like tinder instead of getting married
@@luisfernando5998 They marry a stranger also unnecessary whataboutism
so how do you feel about women having freedom of choice then
I am a freshman taking up a psychology major. And this channel teaches me more about modern psychology that my university tried to teach.
At which college are you studying
All this makes me proud of my mom who never forced any life decision on me and my brother. She would sit down with us, discussing the pros and cons of each option but ultimately she always left these important decisions to us. My family was red pilled way before red pilling was even a thing because of the way my mom brought us up.
Same looks like parents married in 21st century India want to change the system of arranged marriage in India but it will take time
@@everythingeverything229 Yes. She has her flaws. But she is a much better parent than many other parents that I have seen.
Are you in India or America? America is broken and I thin it's primarily because of Feminism and the American family unit. There's a lot to be said for familial pressure to keep a couple together while they figure things out. That pressure is completely gone here in America. Every single decent relationship I've ever had, the woman came from an in-tact family unit, with a mother and a strong father figure. The few unsuccessful relationships were with women who came from single parent households, raised primarily by the mother. Women who do not have a man around them as they're growing up do not know how to compromise and get along with men. All of this really only applies to America I think. Things are different in India.
@@austntexan America is a society of people with unrealistic expectations. I'm saying this as an American
@@austntexan Yes I am from India. However, I think the nuclear family alone does not make it successful IMO. We had an abusive dad and my bro took us out of my dad's reach as soon as he got a job. My maternal grandfather helped us as much as he could, since he was just happy that my mom was finally free from domestic violence. Despite her rough married life, my mom never let that affect our lives. It requires strength of character to do that. Feminism has simply taught women that they do not need to care about their character anymore. The quality of women today in India have worsened due to feminism. Good thing I am single and bro is divorced. We all just have fun eating at restaurants, playing card games, talking about philosophy.
The legend is back.
Akshay 😎
his uploads take a week to finish, which = quality over quantity.
Never left.
"My pain is far greater than yours"
I have rich friends like this poor guy and trust me when I tell you this, they might sound they are independent but they aren't. Even my male rich friends are still controlled by their parents. They need to update their parents on everything and still live on allowances. And we all are 27. Seeing them I feel good being from a middle class Indian family.
I had a rich friend in Mumbai. His day would be planned entirely by his mother. She had enrolled him into football, tabla and tuition classes. Dude would always be tired and performed poorly in school. It was sad.
@@Gamer-db1ri exactly. They might be rich but they grow up being controlled by someone else.
Knew some rich afghans a while back; their brother made it seem like he was well off but was still on a leash by his parents. AND HES LIKE 22 he wasn't a good person either tho his tesla crashed
@@pokermaster-wl8bt 😂his Tesla crashed had me 💀
@@80hazarkeshoeshain 😂😂
These parents failed at raising a man. Doesn't seem like they had any intentions on raising one.
...it's "ageism"... which means, in india if ur younger, one is not allowed to talk in front of or in the presence of elders ...one definitely cannot disagree with their elders... youngsters have to always accept what is being told by their parents..no back talking is allowed..
@@universeofopulence So Basically They Don’t Like Opinions
@@jasonfromguitarcenter ... something like that...it's like the older a person is, their opinion matters the most, even if it is a crappy opinion.
My 67 year old Grandmother told me to never trust a woman...my own grandmama bruh!!
We just have to listen..
@humandxp Yeah, that is in fact unforgivable..
Bruh
My mother advice: "workout and study, girls will come later, most are harpies"
@humandxp i have a similar mother. she always choses sides against me, especially if it involves another woman. lol glad i cut her out ofmy life. toxic piece of cancerous trash.
Also this happens in the Middle eastern families as well. In the middle east, boys and girls are not allowed to leave the family houses till you get married. Since society believes that you want to do that so have a place for yourself to do adultery & have sex outside of marriage. The landlord won't rent his apartment to a guy or a girl that will stay alone & not married.
My mon was controlling as this woman. Also mom & dad used to mock me in front of my relatives & their friends while I'm sitting there , calling my the family idiot
My mother wanted me to get married because she believed that getting married is more important than chasing my dreams.
I wanted to go to the faculty of fine arts (5 years) but my mom instead forced me to go to faculty of commerce (4 years) so I won't waste that 1 year.
- I ended up hating my studies & failed twice so I've spent 6 Years in this Bloody collage. And graduating with Bad score resulting in not finding a job for 5 years.
- I've found work at a call center & worked there for 10 Years, I hated my work & didn't get promoted to be a manager or a team leader.
- I didn't shed 1 tear drop when my mom died
After listening to MGTOW philosophy & realizing that my family is the one that screwed me the most, what I Did:
- Quit my Job as a call center
- Took my saving & invested them in partnership in a food shop & rented my apartment . That way, I'm getting the same amount of money that I took from the call center & won't depend on anyone.
- Started to study Graphics design & keeping my spending to a minimum .
- No marriage till I start working on my dream Job.
My dad isn't happy about it but I don't care anymore. He saw my mom's decisions and did nothing !!!!
Wish me luck....
Good luck. You can finally break the chain of family.
Well done man! I wish you well, also remember to be fit and healthy it will help much.
@Vietcong Striker Good luck to you too man!
wish you very luck my friend.I am in same position.I have so much dreams and passion but my mom want to control every aspect of my life but i also won't let that happen.She had tortured me a lot and mock every day.It is worse than torture and don't get me startef on emotional fraud but i will move out soon.I am working on my dreams.Hope you are too.So sad you lost all those precious years of your life but still nothing left.That energy still there so let's grow and achieve our dreams man
Good luck
So he sucks at social interactions with females but has everything else going on for him in life! What if never marries but is successful in his profession, staying healthy and continues to build wealth. He will be a winner in my book.
@MILLIE RACKS troll
He never had a gf. It's not right or normal. He is not satisfied with his life nd wants a partner in life you can clearly see he is stuck nd struggling. Poor guy.
I don't know. It feels like everything was just handed to him by his parents. I'd like to see him handle himself alone and make decisions without the influence of his parents.
@MILLIE RACKS a person who has money can rent PROFESSIONALS. They're winners in this society. If you have no money or less money , you're a loser. That's how capitalism works
@Ramzan Kadyrov that's one way to look at it
This is sick. Let the dude live the life he wants.
By all superficial metrics, this guys is the complete opposite of a slave. He's from a rich family and doesn't have to do anything tedious. But in actuality he is a slave. Because "a man chooses and a slave obeys."
He is in golden cage
This is a pretty awesome comment and it helps me understand cus i can relate to his pain but a very different circumstance
It’s sad bc here’s this really handsome dude who seems smart but he can’t hold a conversation bc he’s been so isolated from the outside world.
*Bioshock*
Or maybe more like a prisoner
This show received lots of backlash in India from feminists because "arranged marriage" put woman at disadvantage (according to them)
Good that someone is talking from male perspective. There is lot more to it, I sure if you would have been Indian, you could have added more to it.
I read Mahabharata and Ramayana. I know basically all there is to know about Indian culture.
@@ThinkBeforeYouSleepYT careful 'know it all ism' is more contagious then covid
@@ThinkBeforeYouSleepYT No you don't. Just because you have opinions on arranged marriages doesn't mean you know much about Indian culture.
@@ivantheterrible9098 Psst, hey buddy I think it might be a joke
@@ThinkBeforeYouSleepYT Ramayana and Mahabharata are interesting stories. That does not mean it is a real representation of current Indian society. This is like saying that current Germany is evil after reading history books on the 2 world wars.
Damn this video really hit home for a 21-year-old Indian living with his parents. Further strengthening my belief that I gotta move out as soon as this corona shit is out the way. Mother also says i should get married at around 25, boy is she gonna be pissed haha
So how are you doing now brother?
An average family in India. This is a common situation in every Indian family. Its more strict for females than males.
@Best Peace At this point only my death can save me from a marriage.
Feminism kya hota h bhul gaya?
@@afterthechaos89 tumlog toh aise batiyate ho as if India mein feminism se sab theek ho gya, auratein surakshit ghoomti hai aur unpar chunni, pallo hijab ka restriction nhi hao
@@nickyetti93 those things things are right but why oppress men?
@@afterthechaos89 nd who oppresses men? Men have intime restrictions? Men are asked to wear Hijabs? Men are ogled by women when they go out? Men are catcalled?
Just found out that I'm not the only Indian getting red pilled.
Cheap internet is not always bad.
@Mad Guy
well, the "bob and vagoo" part did throw us all under the bus...
More will get red pilled as the years go by.
They're only just waking up
@@ayushp.5395 all the scam companies in India dont help either.
Der aaye durust aaye mere dost
Female nature is universal.
This is common in indian households
Yikes
It also a little bit Chinese house hold too, but they kick you out when your married
Being an Indian, I can 100% confirm on this
@@brianyang5075 Chinese and Indian society is not much different but more similar. But because of border conflicts India and China never become close 😂
@pat bej Because in India chads do not exist, 99% simps and those who display behavior of being a chad are simply perverted, sociopaths who also want everything handed to them on a platter, which they get from those 4'6 trolls.
Indian society never allows someone to become a chad or even go mgtow. If they do, they're frowned upon heavily.
This is exactly why I have never asked my parents for luxuries since I reached 18. I use whatever crap I'm given, because I know they can just withdraw everything in the blink of an eye, and if I'm hooked or too dependent on them, my world will collapse. Worse, I lost my father at the age of 3 and was raised by my mom and my aunt, so I cannot ask them for anything without feeling guilty. I try to be as frugal and resourceful as possible, and I'm planning on breaking off from my family, like every fucking living organism on this planet does at some point in life. Joint family dynamic has it's advantages, but my broken family has just drained me and pulled me down. Thankfully I don't have a controlling mother, but I do have a controlling grandma who raised me. I love her, and she has always been there for me, but I have already made it clear that their *advice* would be appreciated, but not always necessarily acted upon, and every decision of my life shall be at my discretion. It's important to set boundaries in life, but I guess too much wealth makes you complacent unless you have that stoic mindset.
Reminds me of my mom trying to force me into a course in high school that would have set me on a different career path I didn’t want and would have hated just because I tested well enough to get into it and it would have paid more money than the job and course I actually wanted to get into. It was only when I threatened to deliberately fail the class and throw my future away just to spite her, that she backed down and let me take the course I wanted. She didn’t care when I explained that it’s my life and she should want me to be happy and not try to want me to live the life SHE wants for me because she already is living her life and I have to do what’s best for me. Working a job I hate just because it pays well is not the life I’m trying to live. She didn’t care because it’s all about money for her (and most people, but still). She forced me to take the first day of class and then forced me to take another “just to really see if I liked it” and then tried to force me to go back for day three and that’s when I threatened to fail it out of spite. I lost all remaining respect I had for her as a person. I had long since stopped seeing her as a parental figure-she was just a volatile person the state forced me to live with as far as I was concerned.
if my parent control me and treat me like this, i would rather leave them be and live alone.
And they'll be shocked when their kids don't speak to them 🙃🙃🙃
@Specops Tow same thing I did at 18, although I'm and Indian and am looked down by the society for this.
*But no way I'm going back to the plantation*
A society that shames you for taking an action that benefits you but harms no one, is not worth listening to.
@@goblinslayer6432 damn bro, you got your independence. How did you do it? I mean, I'm talking about financial aspect of it. Not the cultural aspect of being looked down upon.
I put my mum and dad in their places,I told them no promises of anything it's my life.
I'm an 18 years old girl who's never been in a relationship, I have found your channel by chance and watched all of your videos , you've literally thought me so much about life and about the Male perspective in this day and age .
I grew up with a lot abuse around and I used to be so angry (even resentful)with men because of those in my life, so I would reject guys ruthlessly (which I'm ashamed of since I could've been softer with my replies) thankfully since I started watching you now I don't reject men because I'm afraid they will use me and then leave me when I'm forty but because I'm a walking red flag, I have become aware of a lot of my toxic traits and even tho it's very hard I'm trying to change them .
I really just wanted to say thank you soooooo much for your content .
I'm sorry for what you went through But proud of You changing and becoming something better😎😎
That's great! Self reflection and accountability is something that most people lack, and I think you will notice it changing your life for the better opposed to people that can't look in the mirror.
@@Cris-if8kf thank you :)
@@timothy209 I really hope so and will try my best
Good job. Keep growing, no matter how much you fall. Learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward.
If a mothers son doesn't get married and have kids, as a mother she has failed. She has failed to raise her son so that another woman wants him. This is in the eyes of other women her age.
My friend has been single for years but his mother keeps dropping hints even though he is nearly 50 yes old.
I feel terrible for Akshay and even worse for the girl who will have to deal with him and his mother in law
Mama's Boys almost always becomes Simps from what I've seen. Guess it hold up.
Yep. She is a feminist that's way she oppress her husband and kids and enjoy her life with her friends.
Stay away from feminist.
@@dy578 Nah, I don't think so. She literally wants a traditional wife and herself is a traditional wife following a gender role. A far cry from a feminist.
She is controlling, but that's about it.
@@rickycool6083 you are right.
And the opposite usually become misogynists'. gotta have some balance
@@rickycool6083 That's a traditional feminist bro. All strong Indian moms are feminists... some turn into Femnazis, others improve somewhat as their kids grow up.
same goes to my mother and my sister, they want me to get married to my sister's friend...she's not a bad person and my mother and her friends keep pleading me to get married, but i ignore it and chuckled, but they keep insisting me to married... and yes im 29 and single...alrdy saw alot of red flags so im not playing the game...
Do not get married bro it's not worth it anymore . As an Indian man I can assure you that arrange marriage is a scam . All the best I'll pray for you 🙏.
i know wats at stake, tats why i ignore it...alrdy consume too many red pills to know how society is fuk, so dont worry
@Lee Deplace Hey Lee, here in India there is nothing called alimony or child support you get stripped off of all your finances when things like divorce happens, I mean wahmen gets everything. Look up for whether "prenup is valid in India or not" you will be surprised I bet.
@My World the court system obviously....
You sister wants you to get married to her friend?????
That's kind of weird.
Update: After meeting on OnlyFans, Akshay ended up marrying Mia Khalifa
KekW
😂
lmao
how did it go?
So it’s an on and off relationship?
One of my Indian buddies in college was like this, from a rich family and pampered his whole life. He grew some nads and picked up baseline social skills in college, but the poor guy had nothing going in.
I rushed into marriage at 19. That marriage didn't work out. But then I had the bright idea to jump right into a second marriage. Needless to say, that didn't work out either. If marriage is something you want, it can't be rushed or forced.
I mean...that's why there used to be no incels. People would just get married early and have children. And that was that.
@A J Naturals It's actually the opposite simps are incels in disguise and want to deny it.
regular incels just can't get laid.
I mean I personally think that MGTOW's are just incels with extra muscle mass and a better attitude but you know that's just me
There were always incels. Maybe not as much as today, but back then there was no social media/dating apps etc. so the choice of a partners was limited, and you would most likely marry someone you knew for a long time, someone from a close friend circle. Now women have a broad variety of guys that they can choose from and average/ugly men are left with nothing.
It's not men's fault it's just hypergamy..
@@outsider1st not just that. Women felt more pressure to find someone or be alone forever. While nowadays that pressure begins for a woman when she hits 30, just 50 years ago it began when she hit 20
@DS just work your height bro, do the work
I really love your videos. As a woman healing from her trauma raised without a mother and an abusive stepmother your videos motivates me even more to heal myself. To be the best person I can be like I won't end up like my abusive stepmother or sick mother.
Thank you for your videos.
Dear TBYS, I stumbled upon your channel on my feed and after binging on your addictive and mind opening content I can say that I have learned a lot from your views and open honesty to self improvement. Keep up the good work as I'm always waiting on your next upload
You have made me see things for more than what they appear in face value and I'm forever grateful. KEEP UP THE WONDERFUL CONTENT THAT YOU PRODUCE 👌🏽
Just another family in India. Glad u pointed out this.
I cannot watch this in one sitting
@Taylor R'stephens No
That's wild. Good luck
Holy shit I just realized I'm in this guy's boat not with the marriage but in how we are raised.
same
@moses onyango you know what I will. It might be hard but I will.
@@doomslayer2290 how is it going dude
@@adonisbarlay3292 good and you?
Good I saw your comment right now and wondered how was this guy doing
Imagine having her as a mother in law!!!
living with her 24/7 😵
I feel sorry for the girl that's coming, because this mom will be her new boss!
Subscribed recently and becoming more and more of a fan. At first I thought this channel was just another "Manosphere" channel warning of the dangers of abusive/manipulative women. But you actually delve into psychology, trauma issues, communication skills and most recently language learning. This is an awesome channel, keep it up.
It was hard to watch him alone with that girl, so akward. That poor bastard!
Like a deer caught in headlights.
Wow the parents missed the whole damn point.
I'm an Indian and my mom used to be like this. I used to have extreme fights with her over independence and my freedom. She would use threats which involved not loving me anymore, disowning me, and removing me from our family will. Those words use to hurt, but each time she said shit like that, i grew more and more distant from her. Eventually i lost all affection for her, and stopped talking to her lovingly all together. She became nothing more that the woman who gave birth to me. I realised that it didn't matter what she thought of me, after 18 i was an adult legally and i also had full support from my father in everything i did. So i stopped caring about her and her feelings about me all together, she just became another person to me in my life. Eventually though, observing th lack of affection and over all detachment i radiated, she realised the damage she caused, and one day told me that i could do whatever i wanted to, and pursue what ever career i wanted, and marry whoever i want, whenever i wanted to. But it was too late, i had completely detached myself from her. I'm slowly fixing my bond with her, but honestly the deep rooted resentment towards woman like her is still buring strong...
Great life advice. You have quickly become one of my top content creators, super high quality.
"She must be flexible" she says, and thinks, she must do as I tell her.
While TBYS is trying to decipher the behavior of a dominating mother, there are bigger forces at play. Societal expectations and maintaining caste lines is at the top of mind in India.
@Vietcong Striker Go to a tea shop in a village in UP and strike a conversation with some local. At some point in time, the question "Aur bhai, kon jaat?" (Hey bro, which caste) is sure to pop up.
@@triptop3703 18 year old clg freshman here, my roommate one day goes, 'my boyfriend will be a brahmin, I have to follow some rules after all'
It’s also if guy wants the privilege, if you are joining family firm, you will have to be close to family. I know this as few of my dada’s friends had such rules.
Omg I love this channel! 2nd video and this is very motivational. Thanks man!
I got parents like this (from Pakistan) and it’s pretty spot on, kind of made me realize all the stuff I can’t do actually
As an Indian guy, even before starting, I already know this video will be painful.
Edited after watching: Yup. This is 99% of all Indian homes.
What's the opposite of schadenfreude?
Vicarious indignation?
only from india? Lad, anyone from Bangladesh follow that(like my mom for example, i'm 15 year old kid and my parents are already talking about my marriage system, the future of mine. like Why?)
99% of indian homes aren't this wealthy. These folks are the 1%.
@@randanon4562 It is not about being wealthy. It is about mothers being overprotective. You need to have some sort of stable income, but you don't need to be that wealthy.
@Dollar Decade TV look into your backyard you will find lot of shit
I'm Indian 21 year old guy.
And since 15 my family started planning about my marriage like talking when should I do it,especially my grandparents.
Like always whenever I met them,luckily I started standing for myself and made a point to everyone that I'll marry when I want to and no one's gonna force me into it.I'm fine with arrange marriage as long as I can make sure they understand what my priorities are and it works well here.
My mom is also kinda controlling but luckily she understands my POV and makes sure my father supports it.
MY CASE- I've never been in a relationship in my entire life first it was because I was shy then I started to get anxiety and depression issues now I'm not interested in it for a long time.
My mother takes a lot of decisions of my life and I was kinda used to it and in that level that even for doing something I needed her validation unconsciously.She still buys me clothes although her choice is great.It's not just me but everyone here,like every dude.
Im 19 and i also have anxiety too bro. At this point I don’t even want a relationship with not only feeling like shit but from the pressure of my parents trying to get me married in the future and my friends in trying to get me some girls.
@@wholeasscharacter3979 same
As a 2a year old guy who has is now 2 years in a relationship my only relationship ever I suggest that you start to take risks and bring you future into your own hands. I was rejected throughout my life about 20 times or so. Just keep trying and don’t get over attached to one girl. Don’t let your parents decide and try to ween yourself from stuff they do. Even stuff like clothes I used to be extremely unconfident picking out clothes but since I have tried I have started to like it more. Just take control of more aspects even if they seem irrelevant. Oh and when looking for a girl don’t be afraid to use dating websites or look amoung foreign girls.
Get a girl dude. Not that difficult. Girls want honesty nd courage in a man. Money can be made later too. You wanna girl go for it.
I just want to say, I love your videos. At the start I thought you were insane, then I grew mentally and you help me open my mind to the truth
As an Indian American, I got a lot of things I gotta thank America for. For one is the freedom of individuality that's instilled in all of us as young kids. I can tell if my dad didn't move to the US, I probably would have ended up like Akshay. My parents were pretty strict growing up but as I got older they also turned to these ideals of being your own person. So instead of being a doctor like my parents wanted, I'm studying automotive engineering like I wanted to since I was a kid! Granted, it's still engineering so they were always ok with it but still.
Oh gosh I could say so many things about this toxic show. And the sad part is people still don’t realize how toxic their own families can be and stunts their development as just regular competent humans.
@Lee Deplace I hope people don’t think this is the norm. The show is based in Mumbai. The culture is Mumbai is definitely materialistic, status based and extremely class based to a level that’s unimaginable compared to other parts of the country. And focuses on a few “niche” families. There are more issues that Indian men face such as hiring discrimination at campus selections for entry level jobs, marital issues and more.
@Lee Deplace lotta entry level IT jobs the recruitment companies going to campus selections are filled by women. Because typically women are told what to do, work hard, stay within the rules, have performed academically well in college, won’t focus on side hustles or starting their own businesss in the initial years. And women once they become economically independent and then get married some may move to different cities or countries even. So the company needn’t give severance pay for entry labor because after the first few years some quit. Attrition rate is high. Ok I’m not saying this as a peer-reviewed study, I am saying this as a pattern me and my colleagues, family and friends have noticed all these years in college campus recruitments etc and I’m talking about south India so the culture is different than in the north. So lotta variables.
@Lee Deplace welcome :)
It's sad to see Akshay's mother emasculate him so badly that he has no social skills, accountability or self worth. Then you see her sit there and think this is all fine, but complains when he doesn't want to marry someone SHE chooses. His own father doesn't even stick up for him. What a sad and lonely life. I hope he escapes that prison she has created.
Bruuh I can write you an essay on this. I'd be lost had it not been for the RP
I moved out at 25
This is not limited to indian parents. Any woman who decides to become a feminist upholds.
A mother bringing you to a public event only to make constant jabs at your expence in front of your peers or theirs.
That shit hurts and destroys you. Especially over long periods of time. Will literally make Highschool boys start to tear up in a public setting.
I was a nanny for an Indian family who had an arranged marriage. They were both doctors, and they had an autistic son that they kept trying to fix. Once I figured this out, I had to quit because it was too heartbreaking.
I’m glad he stood up to his mother,and hopefully he can find the path of being independent and working on his social skills. He has plenty of time to get married if he really wants to do that and when he’s ready, just getting married to a person you don’t know just to make your family happy will get you divorce raped.
Oh this is more common in India then you would think. They actually frown upon people having girl friend or boy friend. That builds up sexual frustration and the result is catastrophic. People don't get social/sexual experience. So, When people get married they go bonkers in bed, and you can see the population stats for that.
PS, the characters in this show are actually NRIs.
Thanks for bringing this up!! Mental problems are so much worse in my country and especially the cases with Helicopter Parents!!
That sucks man
The issue is that Akshay's parents control all he does, instead of allowing him to do so and teach him things properly. Having sexual experience outside commited relationships is not a good thing since It destroys the ability to pair bond.
@Larry Bones I don't know, It's not like the more something is offered the lesser is its value. Maybe divorve rates are breaking records in the west by chance, who knows?
@Larry Bones while colonialism shouldn't be blamed for today's situation in the third world, and shouldn't be blamed for every ill in the third world society, the caste thing is correct. The British were the ones who considered some people as lower castes and some people as upper castes.
It’s very reminiscent of “tiger parenting” in ways.
I'm really excited, I was really hoping you would make break downs from this series!!
In India it is common for marriage to be arranged by the family which is why they don’t think this is a big deal while a westerner would be shocked by it
usualyy parents rnt like this in many indian household, but man his mom is so manipulative
There's also an aspect in some cultures where you can't leave your family not because you don't want to, but because you have to support your parents and siblings. In some cases, they get to have lives of their own while you already spent yours by helping them.
Same
Even some guys gf act like mothers or either want to control everything
Oh god! This is a nightmare. So blessed to have understanding parents
The other daughter in law looked like a mute doll. How sad. Women sacrifice their voice, their opinions, their personality just to fit into a family they have to marry into, and all for social security. I would run away from that Preeti lady if I saw her from a mile away !
Men need marriage like a horse needs a glue factory.
... Wait a minute
😂😂
@chris .,
Really? I thought it was alimony.....
Dude!!!😅😅😅
Damn bro...XD
What I've learned...
How to not be a controlling parent.
How to not be a dependent person.
I have a 9 year old son which unfortunately I only see 4 days a week. It's tricky to find appropriate content related to this for his age. I ask what he dreams about, and his responses are showing signs of shifting to being comfortable living with his mom forever. Granted, he's only 9, but I remember that age as the formative years of my real development. This will be a great video to watch next time I have him.
She's probabpy grooming him to be a son-husband
He's like a barbie doll for these adult women
This is actually the norm in India, marrying by their own choice is relatively uncommon. And the entire point of having kids seems to be to show them off and look good in front of society. But its slowly changing and soon we will have gotten rid of all these traditional outdated customs.
I am so happy you covered this. I was literally watching this an hour ago thinking about what you had to say . Love the vids.
Thanks for the message, gonna listen once a week.
As an Indian I am so god damn happy that I am from a middle class family. The thing in this show mostly happens between families with a lot of wealth and prestige. And indian people, especially old people have that egotistical mentality to be the king/queen. The closer you get to the middle class, the less you will see these kinds of parents. What TBYS says is completely true. Many rich parents don't see their kids as kids but as trophys. Cause it's a bug achievement for the mom if their child gets to be the topper of the class in highschool or gets admission in IIT colleges. It's a harsh world for rich kids.
Dang I feel bad for this man
Same
this is the best red pill channel by far
red pilll?
You weren't here for the glory days obviously. You missed all of the true greats.
Man...You're conclusion are always amazing with great lessons, thank you so much
I see that where I work, kids(from India/China)have nice cars, clothing, watches etc but they go home to mom and dad and can't even function because their parents do everything for them.
One guy decided to go live free, after 6 months came back home. he got scare because his mom was not there to do everything for him, worst he sold his car and got another expensive car. He didn't got his lesson.
To move a mountain, you first start by carrying away one small stone.
I also dont make my own bed... I buy one from the store, it takes a lot of skill to make a good bed... but that is why I always use (insert mattress sponsor here)
Purple Mattress
OK, I was not expecting this comment. This is genuinely genius. 😂
At age 21 I was shy, couldn't cook, couldn't ask a girl out, didn't really know what I wanted to do as a career, and lived with my mom and stepdad. Besides taking college classes, all I did was work at Wendy's, play video games, guitar, and draw. I moved to California where my dad and his side of the family lived, and after a year, I had two good friends that I got an apartment with. This was the most valuable decision I made in my life, because I learned so much by not living with my parents and now was paying for everything on my own. It gave me the drive to work hard and strive for more. Now I'm a web developer making a great salary, have a wife and a baby. And I'm moving back to the east coast where I moved from 9 years ago!
My son is 2, I can't wait till he can do everything on his own so I can get some sodding sleep again.
I cannot imagine controlling him for the rest of his life.
'No attraction, no talking, no nothing', he said...... It sounds like what marriage is like lol
Akshay's Dad is supposed to be running things not his Mom, that's one major problem.
bro , this is how it is in many households in the east and west.
man run a business, vvman run a house.
@@fireinthenight9028 True but that depends, In many culture's its Man over Woman over Children (African, East Asian, Arabic/Middle, Slavics). The Man provides and runs the major decisions including the children. But in Akshays case the Dad probably stayed on the buisness side giving the Mom too much time around the children. Which is why Akshay has a Female/Beta/Submissive personality. That's why you never raise your son to be a Momma's boy, because he won't be able to Alpha his relationship or hang with his fellow men.
In India(at least in urban areas) although man brings money but it's the women who decides where that will be spent.
She is *Indian feminist*
my friend I'm telling you don't marry feminist they will control house and you also.
I'm afraid American feminist also take away freedom from men and convert them into pusi 🐈.
#stayawayfromfeminist
My opinion Akshay's Mom screwed him over but doesn't realize it, The Dad seems a little uninvolved also screwing his son over. Akshay need to reprogram himself as a Man and take the Red Pill, first step is get off his Mom's tit and start hanging out in the Manosphere.
I grew up with exactly the same mother. She would always answer questions instead of me and cared only about how our accomplishments look to her friends and other family members. When I would get a bad grade or something she would burst into tears saying she's obviously a bad mom who didn't raise us properly so I would have to calm her down, say that's not true and hate myself for getting that bad grade. It puts constant pressure on you and if my parents wouldn't eventually divorce and I didn't end up living with my dad I still probably wouldn't know how to cook, clean, do laundry etc. I still have problems with that till this day because of learning bad habits.
Great video with a great message!
This is very common in indian households, until you escape. Mothers are especially overbearing and basically abusive. Fathers less so, but usually just go along with it.
Because fathers have to go through or they won't get food or cat called or get abused that same night
Earliest I've ever been to one of your vids, feels dam good.
Classic narcissistic mother.
Hi @Think Before You Sleep, i am from india, and u did a fantastic job on this. U brought out the mirror to the society to be reflected upon. ❤