This stories make us remember how lucky we are to get a good family and life.She made me really shocked and I want so much to help her but just can't.Since I first started to see this channel I realised how feminism is just using this poor souls to gain an agenda of censure and abuse because they were failures in life and lazy af.May god help these ppl find a new hope in life.
@@silvergamer7073 BLM nowhere to be seen ooops. why is that? cause the abusers happened to all be black. No whites to blame at all. Not good for the news.
I know we're critical of women on this channel but I think we need to take a real moment to process the traumas this poor girl has gone through. It's unconscionable.
Though I agree that things that may have (probably did) happened to her are horrible, see what happens if you manage to reengage your skepticism. You really think she doesn't regularly turn down loving simp's wholesome attempts to help? They are part of her regular paycheck. We are at a disadvantage when it comes to women :-)
@@jloren4647 it isnt really about the simps that will love her and give her whatever she wants day and night. its about the trauma that she endured from men and women alike in her most important stages in her life. it is extremely hard to open up and trust the motives of others after experiencing strong physical/mental abuse, and sex doesn't depict the severity of the person's trauma. she does not love and care for herself, and she needs to focus on healing herself before seeking out the love of others.
@@catieshrekman It was pointed at the young men who lose their faculties at a sad story and get caught up in some seriously bad news and invite disaster, literally. I take no delight in her brokenness.however she got that way. Women rarely play women as hardcore as men. If you want to make a woman fall for something in the same way you'd have to involve a kid.
I know right? it's sort of counter intuitive.Because to someone that dosen't know this kind of stuff would say something like this "after this girl who gone through all this trauma finally gets in a healthy relationship,at first she's very paranoic but eventually she figured out the guy he is with is a guy with a good heart and then it'll all be fine" because if you think about it that's logical but yeah since us humans are very emotional yeah dosen't always work.
But don't forget that most victims don't turn into perpetrators. You can prove that mathemtically, because most perpetrators have more than one victim in their lifetime and if all victims turn into perpetrators, they would grow exponential till everyone is one.
Iustitia Aeterna true. I know plenty of victims who would never hurt a child. We all say it’s just like reliving the trauma you went thru as a child. The ones who become abusers typically at some point disassociated with their abuse and started to enjoy it. For an example look up the Brooklyn vampire. Trigger ⚠️ extremely graphic content
Just want to say thank you. No, really, seriously, thank you. As a damaged woman, your content has changed my life and made me realize that I can't stay a victim my whole life, that I need to overcome my issues and work on myself. It should be obvious, but you made me wake up and see that I need to treat others (and myself) better. I have alot of work to do, but a wise man once said, "...there's always a job to do." Thank you again for speaking the truth, I really needed to hear this. I hope other women and ppl suffering from "victimhood" wake up and see their potential, that being a capable person and overcoming their issues is more important than self-pity and self-hate.
I feel the same way lol. My dad was abusive so my mom left him and I was raised in a single parent household. She took out alot of her anger and frustration on me and my sibling. I never realized how my life was affected by my abusive parents. Ever since I started watching his videos I take notes on how to change my behavior and how I treat others
If you are able to do that, then you are the strong independent woman that feminists claim all women are. Sometimes even if we know an obvious fact, we don't really consider it unless someone reminds us. You have my respect, ladies.
Yeah she is 😞 but as an adult, at some point you have to make the decision to get help or be better than your past. I think she's so battered it's hard for her to know how. For some it takes a while to get there and for some, when they find there way, they choose to remain a victim.
@@thalmoragent9344 No duh, but people lack the ability nor is taught how to do such things. Many people live WAY out of their means and it is passed down to their children eventually.
@@blueeyed5074 Stuff like this always confused me. If it were me, I'd have many savings accounts opened, transfer some into gold maybe (always have that universal currency) and then buy a and live a minimalist life, which would mean a near constant level of affordable living with money always saved. Not gonna get a Ferrari or some Gucci or something ridiculous like that.
@@thalmoragent9344 it does, but I do think it can vary person to person. My husband and I had a decent savings until I lost my job and we had to use it for bills. We went into severe debt while I tried to find a new one. Luckily, we're finally back on track 2 years later, but that 2 year span was a nightmare all because I was jobless for several months. It was a quite specific situation and not everyone may have ended up in the same outcome, but playing catch-up is very difficult in my experience and I do sympathize with those who are broke. I will say though, if you don't at least make an effort to overcome your situation, I personally believe you deserve every outcome that subsequently happens.
People who grow up in abusive and aggressive environments become desensitized to things. Go work in a low income and poverty stricken area. Seeing shootings, physical violence, killings, etc., can cause you to be like her.
That's really the only way to survive in an environment like that. The ones that don't cope end up running around like headless chickens and end up in prison
That’s what people don’t want to understand about low income areas because it doesn’t fit their political agenda or racial biases they don’t want to admit they have. Your parents grew up seeing fucked up shit and they end up becoming fucked up people. You’re born, and not only do you have fucked up people raising you, you’re around other fucked up people who are killing, robbing, beating people up, etc. You form trauma bonds with these people while also growing accustomed to that sort of lifestyle, seeing nothing wrong with it because that’s all you know. The only people telling you what you’re doing is wrong is people who didn’t experienced things you have, and so they have no validity to you. That’s the trap. I was fortunate enough to come from those things and know what I know, but it’s unrealistic for me to expect the same from everyone because everyone isn’t the same.
i can attest to that, seeing nasty stuff does desensitize you, its why war vets unless they got PTSD real bad generally dont look like they are freaking out in shit situations, i saw a homeless man i fed shot dead when i was 16 flash to 21 i dont freak out over people threatening me, i beat the s**t out of them and threaten to follow them to their families, keeps crackheads in the hood off you and makes the gangbangers wary
Its true, as someone who has grown up in poverty and mental abuse I can confirm this. Edit: I just noticed I said I grew up with it lol, I guess that even though I still got 2 years left till im an adult I think of myself as fully grown. I don't want to become an abuser... Holy shit Im actually crying.
Few weeks after your video was posted a follow up interview with this girl was posted. She's been taken care of, used money from the fund to get a place to live, got a job and stopped doing drugs and is no longer suicidal. Fingers crossed for her.
Yes I saw that. Though I don't believe she is no longer suicidal. Treatment for mental health issues like that takes around 5-10 years. She might feel better temporarily but if she doesn't spend intense effort resolving the root cause of her suicidal thoughts then they will just come back the minute something goes wrong in her life.
@@christmastree6817 i think it is more that it is going to be something that will need to be worked on and stopped before it reaches that point abuse is obviously never ok but letting someone become that way is also inexcusable
I agree, but it’s not that simple. Usually abusive parents are also abuse victims themselves, but they of course never sought proper treatment, and then it leads to them reliving their trauma and anger through their children. People underestimate this I feel, especially people who never grew up with bad parents, not to say it justifies their actions at all.
Yet some political movements objective is to destroy the nuclear family structure. We need to work on family structure, relations, love with stability. It starts from home. This saddens me and in a way, I can relate to her. God help us all.
Honestly, I see people here talking about how he's harsh on her and that he doesn't know all of it. I think he puts in a lot of effort to give her the most unbiased view possible and doesn't blame her for the abuse. But some of these people in the comments act like all her troubles came up after a man sexually abused her and by extent they aren't wrong that it contributed but they act like men are evil and all the problems here. They neglected that bother her mother and grandmother abused her way before they did sending her on a long spiral of terrible situations. This person and others like her need some help to solve their life before it gets so far gone they can't fix the effects of being abused and I think that stable family structure will help that like you said
@@chicnoir29 she lied about this whole story. people from her highschool exposed her and she was braggin on her social media that she got paid from the donations.
@@islamstudies7258 - The Washington Post did a follow up on her story. She got one date wrong but her story checked out. Those people from high school were jealous haters. IIRC she started high school but didn’t finish.
Bro I was mad asf. Lmao I was like if I was in her situation where there was a puddle of blood, I would sharpen my knife and stab him in the dick 20 times and stab him in the chest 10 times.
I might get flamed for this, but I’m going to say it anyway. This is why raising children with both a mother and biological father in the home is so important. The simple truth is that most people (men especially) have trouble loving and caring for children that are not genetically related. For some it is apathy, and for others it is a chance to abuse without the same level of guilt. But the fact is, the amount of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in so-called blended families and foster homes is sickeningly high. I say this as an adoptive father. I love my adopted daughter just as much as my biological children, but it didn’t just happen magically. It took a lot of time and effort for me to grow that bond. Part of it was frustration from her psychological issues (abuse from single mother) and her initial rejection and fear of men. It was painful to be rejected when a woman, not a man, was the source of her abuse. It took over a year for her to begin to trust me, but when she did, she was stuck to me like glue. She’s the first one out the door to welcome me home, and she is really a joy. I went into the process full well aware of the difficulty, so I can only imagine what unprepared stepfathers and such face. Not to mention, the sick bastards looking for a victim that has no other support. I’ve come to believe that having children outside of a two parent situation is selfish and wrong. You are setting that child up for a lifetime of pain, abuse, fear, and suffering. Their best hope is that they get adopted at a young age to a stable family, and as children get older, the less likely this becomes. Chances are, Kelly will never have a functioning marriage or personal relationships. She will have kids with no father, and the cycle will begin anew. Yet our society encourages this, knowing the likely result. It’s as if our society wants to kill itself.
Thank you for being a good stepDad, I had a friend who was raped by hers, even groomed to the point she thought it was okay and developed romantic feelings for her Dad. It was stepincest and was disgusting. The mother knew was well and did nothing. Her bf found out the lies and ending everything. Feel bad for everyone in that situation cause it was just sick tbh. Its hard to look at blended families the same after I saw what she did to her bf and her past
I'm sorry, but you're objectively wrong about having two biological parents being the answer. There are countless examples of children being abused by their biological parents. Is the rate lower than when only one parent is bio and the other is a step-parent? Likely so. But simply having a biological mother and father together is no cure at all to the cycle of abuse. Abuse stems from internalized abusive behaviors during childhood, which are then replicated when those childrne become adults and have children of their own. That has zero to do with having both biological parents and everything to do with parents that have had healthy parental examples growing up as a child.
@@derek96720 That’s simply not true. There are very few hard facts in social science, but one of them is that children with both parents in the home are much less likely to experience abuse, become addicted to drugs or alcohol, go to prison, become pregnant as a teenager, drop out of school, remain in/enter poverty, be unemployed, or be the victims of violent crime. They even develop mentally and emotionally at a slower pace. As the rates of abuse are higher in so-called blended families than in ones with both biological parents, the. That is the preferable scenario. That’s not to say abuse absolutely cannot happen of course. Much of the abuse is a result of what you indicated, people who were abused then abuse themselves. That’s why it is critically important to recognize if someone has an untreated abuse trauma. That was what was so important about dating and especially meeting that person’s family.
@@derek96720 Actually your wrong and you proved it in the lower comment. Bio parents (2 parents in the same household) are much less likely to abuse thir child than step/adoptive parents not only that but people from 2 parent homes are more likely to grow up and form 2 parent homes which is healthy parenting in a sense. Now its not all the time 100% but it is high enough to be the majority.
@@derek96720 now remember the good parent example you mentioned. Single parent house holds on average are a bit more abusive than 2 parent house holds so it means often times the child has a good example from the 2 parent house holds and begin a new cycle of 2 parent homes. Its not perfect and it doesn't apply to everything but again its the majority.
Abuse victims are not simply "damaged goods." In fact that's one of the biggest insecurities of abuse victims. They feel unlovable, push people away, etc. Because they feel they undeserving, but EVERYONE needs love. These victims just need patience, affection, and therapy when available
@@possummagic3571 nah it's not all or nothing. I just don't cherry pick out of grey areas and outliers to further villainize abuse victims. If you're uncomfortable with yes or no questions then just say so lol
@@adatlorxyGo over my initial comment very carefully, and by all means point out to me where I said *ALL* abuse victims. The cycle of abuse is a thing. It's not cherry picking, it's observable in society. I've even got anecdotal evidence if that's what you want.
The best decision I've done in my life was to not tell my current boyfriend about my abusive childhood and sexual abuse. I used to bond with people who also had trauma, and it always resulted in toxicity from both parts. My boyfriend of 3 years has a very stable family and proved me they do exist and that I don't need to mention the abuse I've went through to receive love, affection or respect. My goal is to break my family's cycle of constant abuse. Even as a woman, the red pill movement and your channel in particular has really helped me not become like my mother. I'm currently seeing a therapist to truly cope with my trauma, as it triggered through a lot of nightmares. I moved out at 17, I am financially stable and able to buy a house at 19. Now, I honestly don't think I would've been able to get better if I hadn't stepped away from abused people. I thought relatability was what made friendships and relationships work, but who would want to bond over traumatic experiences? Like you said, people who suffered abuse will most likely repeat the cycle because it's all they've ever known, and I agree. I had to step out of my comfort zone and surround myself with people who will never be able to understand what I've went through, and that's exactly what people like me need imo. Childhood abuse or abuse of any kind cannot be normalized, as it convinces us that we cannot change, and that we were meant to suffer.
I'm happy for you, my Ex-girlfriend was abused a lot as a child. But she hid her nature to cling to toxicity from me until I asked her to help me when I needed it over something small. Getting therapy is great, but in the longer long run, tell your SO about your trauma and how you personally seek out support outside to not add baggage to your lives. Trust me Men aren't that shallow. But the issue is once you make it known, respect him for his trust. I was trusted and I was still disrespected even though I tried to console her. She didn't seek help, and you did. But acting out of character and trying to steal from me and embarrass me in public over a $5 tip isn't a way to go about it amongst other things. You're doing better because you chose good progress.
I'm really glad for you and excuse me for asking but how did you manage to get enough money to buy a house in 2 years? I could use some ideas. And again good going
@@uzzwalkumar253 I actually started saving when I was 16. I have always been working 30hrs+ per week even in highschool and for later studies. I work at a grocery store/butchery at the moment, so I am able to eat very good food with my worker discount. I also live in a city with very good transit, so I never bought a car so far even if I'd like one. I rarely go out to eat or for drinks, and I never take taxis/Uber. I only buy thrifted items too and I try to not order online. I'll be honest, I don't really budget or anything. I can recommend you to just change your spending habits so it makes the transition to saving money less stressful and more natural ? Hope it helps! But yeah houses here are like 300k so I guess it can def differ from where you live
people like that need stability, its not as simple as just going to a therapist or a 12 step program, getting a job like a hairdresser isn't good either because its too much person to person and a girl with that background is unlikely to be able to deal with minor setbacks/conflict, when you've been abused like that every minor thing becomes fight or flight not all people like this are going to be abusive or abusive to a high level (violence or worse) but they are going to have a lot of issues the suicide talk is a direct cry for help, pretty much saying give me something to feel good about right now its sad but people like this get swept under the rug, most therapists aren't able to deal with the multiple issues and the cost to rehabilitate them is too high
Yes, I have seen where most therapists are recommended to not deal with people suffering with BPD bc of how complex it is and many people in the field are coming forward saying they are not taught about trauma when getting their degrees or licenses, and BPD is very trauma centered I’d say. I suffer from it and have done all the research I can about it and it goes deep to yeah, some genetics, linking down to anxiety and potential for addiction, but environment and routine does a lot for regulating and managing.
The BannerLord yes that’s a big one. many things come into play I try and keep track of my food water and exercise intake to stay above water but often have to restart
I agree it’s not as simple as saying Kelly must follow steps 1-3 and she can unlock a better life. Every person who was supposed to protect her or she trusted betrayed that trust, how would she even know where or how to find help or trust the right person.
I was abused, and an abuser. When I was 18 I had no ideas or motivation to drive myself towards a career or work of any kind, and I was an addict and a severe alcoholic. My parents had kicked me out of the house more than once when they finally wouldn't let me come back home. I was detained on an emergency order, and ended up in the psychiatric hospital where I met a girl and moved in with her (after a week). Needless to say that didn't work out and I became homeless. It wasn't until I had been homeless for about 2 months and ended up in jail that I didn't lose hope. I finally realized that I was the only one who could help myself. Amazingly my parents had bailed me out after about 9 days and allowed me to come back home. That in September of 2019, at first I struggled with my emotional awareness, but in 2020 I started to improve. Its incredible what can be achieved in a few months, I've made a great effort to be sober now. I still drink, but nothing like I used to. (My body somewhat rejects alchohol now). I have a solid idea of what I want to do and accomplish with my life, and what I imagine what it means to live as a good man. It wasn't until all of my friends and family cut me off that I figured it out. I will never spite or hate them for that, in fact I an very thankful they allowed me to have that lesson.
Her body language matches her memories... people who've been through systematic abuse as children do indeed become detached from their memories, but their actions show them recollecting.
Damn 😥 I feel her pain. I forced to be a sex slave to my own father starting at 3 by the time I was 7 in half he went to prison and my mom and family verbally abuse me telling me I ruined my mom's perfect married life by telling on my dad. I was thrown out to survive at the age of 13. I'm now 38. She's brave. God bless her.
I love this channel. Many channels depict the current problem with women with personal rage, and beliefs which have no scientific basis. But, THIS GUY, really goes deep into the problems. REALLY GREAT BRO, KEEP IT 🆙
Another channel which you might like is Better Bachelor. Incredibly based videos in which he applies life experience to articles, posts and papers and comments and analyzes them.
Many mgtow channels are just ranting wahmen this, wahmen that or all wahmen are bad. TBYS is one of the few channels that actually researches the core problems of society and human nature itself.
I'll just say this again. I've learned not to try and help women who've been abused. And thanks to this channel I'm starting to do my own research on how to identify these people.
I agree. Why we should help people who don't want to help themselves? For me it seems that this girl rather boasting than complaining about her life. She's said that decided to commit suicide; I don't care - that is how natural selection works...
I guess that's very important that you know that you can't to help this people. We aren't a psychologist, the best that we can do it's indicate professional help. Just this.
My first girlfriend was similar to this. She was young but she was abused and she had a lot of emotional issues. I was young and wanted to be “different” than her exes. So I loved her and put up with her abuse. She told me so many lies. I still don’t know what is true or what isn’t. I wanted her to one day realize that it was me that actually did love her all along and didn’t want to use her. I still don’t think she sees me as being different. She used to says she did. But I don’t know what’s true.
My grandpa always said "never marry a sick person, they will suck everything from you" he was talking about body health, but now its also about mental health.
@@Megan-ir3zemaybe by as in a sick personality. Though you have to admit there are cons to dating someone with mental disorders even if they’re a good person. It can be emotionally draining. It is for my partner whom I’m grateful for. But that does NOT mean their undeserving of love and can be rewarding as well.
It depends on the obstacle. Not everything can be overcome with good old fashioned hard work. If it's a psychological obstacle, you need outside help. Even if you're able to identify it, it's extremely hard to break mental conditioning. An alcoholic knows they're an alcoholic. Doesn't fix the issue.
@@leonrobinson8180 It's difficult for sure, but not impossible. It certainly means putting more work than others, which seems unfair. To use the chemistry analogy: It requires a lot of energy to break a molecule of water into Oxygen and Hydrogen but it's not impossible; it might be the only way to form a new compound requiring Hydrogen, for example.
Danielle bregolli (the cash me outside girl) would also be good for a case study. Her mother barely had any authority over her before the Dr. Phil show. I also noticed that parts of this analysis apply to that girl as well.
Dr. Phil stated in a separate interview that Danielle's problem was her mother. When he separated Danielle from her for some type of therapy camp he said that she actually did really well and was really responsive to the people there. It was when she got back into the hands of her mom that he said she instantly went back to her old ways.
I find it hard to believe there are people out there that are not aware enough of their hurtful actions towards children. Hitting a baby or raping a 7 year old, I am at loss of words honestly.
The worst abuse in a lot of cases is what people say to themselves. "I am not good enough" "I can't do this" "I'll never amount to anything" sort of statements. It is possible to overcome yourself though.
Child wouldn’t know, we learn what we are from our parents and surroundings, and if all we know is abuse and humiliation we wouldn’t know that we deserve any better.
Unfortunately, it only can start when we decide. Unless we can let go of our past, and look into the future, and choose what we be, nothing is gonna change.
Speak for yourself. You know how many of my siblings I had to slay to get to the egg in order to be squeezed out of a vagina onto this hopeless planet. We were born monsters. Batman doesn’t understand this.
Not necessarily. Just because someone was physically too weak to punish someone before doesn't mean he will never do it once he has the opportunity to lash out on someone weaker. Enough idiots hitting their children or abusing their partners because out of these power relations they never were capable of doing so.
@@Kurostyle21 no shit, you gotta stop responding to bad logic as if it was logical to begin with. He's clearly wrong. LOL. weak people are those who allow others to walk over them without any plans at all even sneaky ones and weak people sometimes abuse, and sometimes absers are strong and nored etclol
When I hear the term "abusive childhood" I' used to think of extreme cases same as hers so I always thought that my childhood was ok But now after growing up and learning more about it and that abuse isn't only being beaten every day or sexually abused It can be emotional and physical And being hit occasionally is also abuse also what made it hard for me to realize my abusive childhood is that for ex. my parent wasn't angry every day and that she/he was mostly laughing and caring for me and she/he would only shout or hit me when going through a bad day I used to stay silent when they get angry to not make it escalate and get beaten Anyway Although I still suffer some trauma from it I'm working on it and I'm happy that I recognized that I have a problem cuz this's a big step towards recovery
I agree, my parents were mostly really good, but they aren’t perfect. My dad has anger issues and he used to hit us when we were younger, the last time he hit me was when I was like 14 or 15, which isn’t a good thing. He also would yell at us and even insult us, whether it be about school or when we were doing work outside, and it has caused me to develop a need to try and do everything right and I get really frustrated when I don’t. My mom was herself abused when she was a kid, and while she almost never laid a hand on us, she has a tendency to get moody and also hates it when we disagree with her on issues such as politics, and even tries to inject her own beliefs onto us, though I doubt she really knows how bad that actually is.
@@larinettemanatang8039 we mean we were beaten for nothing. We were little children being beaten by a vastly stronger and imposing adult. Getting a little smack is nothing especially when you're being an asshole or behave poorly on purpose. Ever been knocked to the floor and kicked by a parent? Ever pissed yourself during it? There's a difference to what I think you mean and the memories remain
My heart hurts hearing her talk about the abuse she went trough. Its crazy how much she has endured already at her age... if it were me id had jumped off the nearest bridge
I would never want to invite someone like this into my life who hasn't got treated for their past. They bring too much baggage which would impact you. I'm not here to take care of those people.
Even good people who haven't been abused by anyone except their own brain chemistry can hurt us. Not that I'm arguing against your point, just that it isn't limited to people who have been abused by others. I was in a band with a friend of mine. He'd done meth when he was younger because he had that kind of live fast die young personality. He got off it and while he drank and smoked weed, he also had a good job, a kid, and a fun band to play in. One day he came over to tell me the rest of the band went and got a different singer. But, he was so shit scared of doing it that he went out and bought meth and smoked it before he could confront me. I was fine with not being in the band, but I told him straight up that I couldn't stay friends with him if he's still smoking. It hurt way more than being kicked out of the band.
those people have to choose to take care of themselves, and anyone supporting them, emotionally or otherwise, just gives them less motivation to change.
@@lierce6130 Exactly. Many of these individuals are master manipulators who prey on the generosity of others. As the saying goes…help someone out when they’re in trouble and they’ll remember you the next time they’re in trouble.
I grew up in a great orphanage with lots of amazing dedicated staff but a lot of people who've been abandond lie because they want validation. Few actually come from insane sytuations and the difference is vast! I know these sytuations a lot more rare than most popcorn eaters like to believe! I do believe most womens stories are 100% for attention because I grew up with them. A truely tramatised person will not talk about this stuff much less on air ffs!
I don't totally agree with the tattoo bit. I don't have any tattoos but I was abused and I know many people who were not abused, at least as far as I know who have tattoos. As a matter of fact many of the people I know that have tattoos were actually spoiled as kids and wanted to be rebellious. The others just decided to do it because it was pretty. I know you don't mean every single person that has tattoos is like this but people can get the wrong idea and miss out on someone who is actually a good person just because they notice a little tiny tattoo on her shoulder or something. Neither my spouse nor I have tattoos and we don't want them (okay when I moved out I did think about getting one but my partner said no and he's very old school being much older than I am. 😆 I'm totally fine by that because we're not just living for ourselves anymore as a family) but I don't think it's fair to judge everyone that has them as being someone with baggage. Now I do agree that people who go over the top of tattoos usually have some serious issues as everyone I've met that had a body paint of tattoos, while some of them are the coolest people I know, are usually also people that have a lot of drama or good themselves in trouble: more so risk takers.
@TH-cam Troll Well I guess your name says it all 😂 But in case you aren't trolling, no one is looking for attention. Just stating something, but I guess I'm not welcome.
@alteori The thing about his opinion on tattoos is, well, its just his opinion. I personally don't agree at all with him on it but I kind of skip over it because the other things he talks about make sense. I have no relatable experience with tattoos like he describes and neither does anyone who I have asked. Maybe its an internet/specific following thing.
I have A LOT of deeply personal knowledge on this topic. That being said, let it be known far&wide, that you NAILED IT ON EVERYTHING YOU SAID. I was abused, in literally every imaginable fashion, by the age of 10. I was a serious drug user and a fully dependent opiate addict by 19 (I.V. user by 14) and a serious (very serious) self mutilator ( specifically a cutter, whose arms are both covered from wrist to shoulder, some spots even have layered cuts).... And this is the tip of the proverbial iceberg. You made a million phenomenally great points. Today, I have over 9 months clean, am back in school, caring for my disabled dad, back on a stringent diet/workout/yoga routine and am back to my several times daily writing. I also have a stringent routine with regard to seeing my psychologist& psychiatrist/taking my meds. Still, I don't know whether or not I'll ever be "right", so to speak. This isn't me being 'hard on myself'. I think I'm pretty cool. As a friend or someone to work with. But any man I'd love deserves nothing short of the absolute best. Which isn't me unfortunately.
I can't stand that there's people that think abusing their child is ok. It's just so obvious to me. The girl's story is tragic, and even though she probably became toxic, she's aware of her flaws, and that makes it even more tragic. She deserves to get better. Take care of your kids people...
Look at how many comments even on this red pill vid see her as all victim with no skepticism. Woman in need= swallow a 1-sided story hook, line and sinker... Im sure her mom had a similar one. Sad but to act like she doesn't regularly turn down help as a prostitute is naive.
do you know , mothers are more abusive due to being more emotional? but hide it to well. Look how many fake smiles in front of you but once you leave the group a lot of dirt goes your way.
@@akhonankosi4704 well don't get one that's useless if you don't have a diagnosis with in reasonable time than guess what find another mental health provide psychologist.
I really appreciate these videos. One of my adopted daughters is an abuse survivor and I hope when she grows up we can help her avoid making herself a target to abusers. Her sister who witnessed the abuse is pretty desensitized to it and gets really aggressive. So helps us keep an eye on both of them.
Think Before You Sleep gave me a very helpful perspective when it comes to human psychology, that can be of practical use under circumstances. Keep it up. Your videos are highly anticipated and appreciated.
Watching this and being able to see them before you said them really proves to me how far I've come with my past struggles. It took this approach of being accountable to find my demons and move past. Thanks bro
As a survivor of abuse myself, I did my best to give off no signs of it. I have no tattoos or piercings. None of my scars are visible. They're all internal and they've all been resolved long ago. Unfortunately for my childhood therapy, my therapists broke my trust and would tell my mom everything and then I would get abused even more for sharing that. So I learned to work through things on my own and be careful of what I shared because it might get back to my mom and I might get beat for it. I think I ran away from home 5 times and the last time was when I was 17 and I tried to get legally emancipated. I had friends whose parents were willing to take me in. I was told the judge wouldn't even consider emancipation and that they didn't believe in it. How the hell is that legal? You can just decide arbitrarily as a judge that you don't like some aspect of the legal system and refuse to do it?
This poor girl... The cycle of violence needs to stop. Hearing this girl talk made me cry... It made me think, It changed my attitude about some things... All I can say is, I'm sorry... From this point forward I will try to do better, and I will try to help when I can.,
she has a very distinct look in her eyes that tells me that she would absolutely kill someone for no reason...i was homeless on "skid row" for about 6 months. well, not entirely. at the time, i was on drugs and one day, i decided to check myself into the Union Mission on 5th & San Julian, into their drug rehab program after a few months. i was doing good too. i was in charge of the check-in office and even played music during the services. i usually was on guitar, but sometimes picked up a bass or banged away on the drums. at the time, i was 20yo. there was a woman there that worked there who was super sweet and i knew she really liked me. i started talking to her. we became friends and i was literally about to ask her out and then one day during a function, i was coming down the elevator all dressed up looking good, the elevator stops at the floor under mine and she got onto the elevator. a little boy holding her hand came onto the elevator with her. the woman smiled at me and was sweet as always. the issue was that i didnt know she had a kid until that point and at that moment was a HUGE "NOPE" from me. i think i said maybe two words to her on the elevator and as soon as we got to ground floor, i took off flying as soon as the door opened.... i saw her a few mins later and when she saw me, i could tell she knew that i didnt want her any more. she actually seemed really hurt that i rejected her. i dont really care though. its not that i was mean to her, i just didnt want to raise a kid that wasnt mine. had she not had a kid, i absolutely would have dated her. i cant even blame her for not telling me she had a kid. i never saw her with one and i never asked. honestly, she did seem like a decent woman and i found out later that the kid was the result of a very violent rape that had happened to her and even though i look back and think "damn, i feel bad for her" but what was i gonna do? i mean, i was still getting over my addiction at the time and was just starting to see the results of bettering myself. hell, i was wearing nice suits, ran the check-in office and could pretty much do whatever i wanted to do, any time i wanted. i was eating real good too. the kick in the pants was after about 6months, a couple LAPD officers came walking in and came right over to me and arrested me because i wasnt able to travel from "twin towers jail facility" in downtown LA up to Lancaster to check in to probation with no money at all, no way to get there, no idea where tf Lancaster even was and not even being from that region. i was from Truckee, Ca (tahoe area) and had never been to a massive city prior to that. what was i supposed to do? anyways, the judge saw that i had checked myself into the rehab program at Union Mission, gave me time served and reinstated my probation. that night, i was EXTREMELY lucky that at the same time, a guy who was in one of the "dorms" (OMCJ) was being released at the same time and just so happened to have his sister on the way from Lancaster to pick him up so he offered me a ride up to Lancaster with him. i got checked in at probation and tried to get them to transfer my probation up to my hometown, where i was from. they refused so as a result, i wound up homeless in Lancaster, Ca for a good while, kind of. i found the mission/shelter in Lancaster and it just so happened that some guys from a rehab program were there and i signed up on the condition they get me to check in at the probation office in Lancaster. well, i get screwed yet again as the second time i had to check in, i find out that my probation had been moved to Salinas, Ca. i had no clue where that was or how to get there. the Lancaster office accepted my check in...yeah, Los Angeles County really screwed me over. i tried to do right. i did everything i could to do what was required of me. with no family, no income at all because nobody wants to hire a homeless person and no freaking idea where to even go and my probation office being changed over and over, i violated probation again. i took off up to Bakersfield because i heard that there was hiring going on at the oil rigs and i really needed to find work. the thing is, i was in violation of my probation the second i left Los Angeles county. about a year later, i was walking from my place where my gf at the time and i were staying to go to a store to grab some food for the night and next day. as i was walking, some random freaking crackhead asked me for a cig. i had a pouch of rolling tobacco and told him i could roll him one if he wanted one. as i was rolling it, the douchenozzle pulls a knife on me and tries to rob me. i manage to get the knife from him and get it folded and put into my pocket to take the knife out of the equation. as soon as the knife was in my pocket, folded, i tightened my hold around his neck until i felt him go completely out. i got up and walked away toward the front of the store to throw the knife out into the trashcans they had there. i get about 10ft from the cans and i get swarmed by Bakersfield PD. they werent playing around either. one officer actually fired a shot at me even though i had my hands up, plainly visible and doing exactly as instructed. luckily he missed because i really feel like they would have let me bleed out right there had that officer hit me. well, i get sent to Kern County jail on charges of "assault with deadly weapon" because i guess there was a tow truck driver down the road who saw the end to the little scuffle that had occurred so when he called 911, he had only seen me with the knife while i was in the process of choking someone out. i fought that. i told them that the knife that was on me should be able to be fingerprinted and the crackheads prints would be on it. they didnt even bother checking it. after doing a few months in Kern County, i was transferred back to Los Angeles County Twin Towers facility to do a full 9 months for probation violation. check this out: when i got out, that fkn knife was in my property....this was all back in 2005-2007. havent been into any trouble since, except that i moved to other side of country and never finished probation. i didnt pay the fines and never went to court to have things squared away. yes, i know i should have done that. whats weird is that even though the LA probation thing was a felony, it wasnt a violent felony or anything along those lines. i just happened to be sitting in a truck i didnt know was stolen, in Castaic, Ca. had i known it was stolen, i never would have gone anywhere near it and if it was me who took it, or even knew about it being stolen, i absolutely would have owned up to my actions. i just didnt know so i was in wrong place at wrong time. its weird because i have pushed my luck a few times here in NC. for instance, i was at a gun range and some karen called the cops because she thought we were "shooting fully automatics". the cops saw me with an AR-15 in my hands, pulled the empty mag and setting the rifle down as soon as i saw them come up. they ran my name and everything. nothing came up like "felon" or anything like that, so maybe my case was part of the thing Cali did a couple years back and the felony was removed, but i really have no idea. i dont want to check because the only ways id be able to do that, would basically be me walking into police station and going "hey guys, im not sure if this is possible, but could you guys run me and see?" that could potentially get me into cuffs faster than anything and i would be the joke of the station while im there. the real shitty part is that one of the local cops is someone i call a friend. id want him to uphold his oath though and if hes gotta arrest me, i dont want him to "overlook" it. at the same time, other than not being sure about what happened with the probation/felony, ive done alot of good over the last, roughly, 10yrs. ive even given $1k this year to local police dept that does a cool thing called "shop with a cop" and have been doing it since 2010. im one of their biggest donators every year and i do all kinds of other stuff too. for instance, i spend close to $500/month on food for those who need it and donate it to the various churches in the area. its a small area, so i know its helping quite a bit. every year, as it gets colder, i buy alot of jackets and cold weather stuff and donate it. i also enjoy riding around with that cop who i call a friend during Christmas and instead of giving tickets for stupid crap, giving presents instead. seeing the happiness on some of the peoples faces makes it worth it to me. i have the means to help others and because i wish someone had helped me, i try to be what i wish i had when i was homeless..... yes, im still an asshole, but i dont hate people. i dont have much time left on earth and im hoping that maybe ill be able to truly help someone. even if its with my story, maybe that will help someone....if you need help, dont be afraid to ask. a closed mouth doesnt get fed. the only way to make things better is to reach out for help when you need it. i wish i had it years ago. my mom and her husband were bad meth addicts and used to beat me really bad. i started running away when i was 9. i started drinking and doing drugs when i was still 9, but almost 10. i would run away BECAUSE i didnt want to be at "home" with my mom and her husband. id rather freeze in a blizzard in Truckee, Ca (tahoe area) than stay with them. its probably why when i was a little younger, i was a real piece of crap. but yeah......i dont know what to say now, so im just gonna shut tf up.
Many of my stories parallel hers. I was in foster care, I was raped, molested, abused, kidnapped, tortured, and thrown around like a ragdoll by the foster care system. However, my mom, even though she was the reason me and my sisters ended up in there due to drug abuse (which she quit cold turkey and never went back again), she still fought tooth and nail with the help of my dad (technically my step dad but he raised me so I call him dad) to get me and my sisters out. I was raised in a broken home nonetheless, dealing with bullying, absent parents, abusive sisters, only one friend for 10 years. I was shot twice randomly, seen several friends die or kill themselves, 4 of which blamed me for their suicide, and went through two cancer diagnosis', one for skin, one for bone, and almost died more times than I can count. However, I don't let that define me. I had a rough life, I still do. But I'm making the best of it. I've been to therapy for several years, taking medication for mental conditions, and have amassed a small group of very loving people, and reforged my bonds with my older sisters, and we're closer now than ever. I lost my mom 5 years ago, and since then lifes been even hard. I was homeless for a year, and lived in a shelter another 2 years. But I've had my own place for two years now, and I've been doing my own thing, and growing up the best I can. What I always tell others is to not let your abuse control you. Rise above it and take charge of your present, because otherwise, your past will rule you, and you'll end up in equal or worse states to this girl right here. Take care of yourself, and eventually things WILL start turning around. I promise.
That poor beautiful woman. It's sad that people who were abused become dangerous and a perpetrator themselves. It's a nasty cycle. I hope she gets help that she needs.
How do you know that she was raped? I'm struggling with someone that seems to have a past trauma but either refuses to tell anything or just claims that she forced herself to forget everything.
She "accepts" the abuse. If she accepts the abuse toward herself, will she accept abuse towards others too? To her future boyfriend? From her future boyfriend? Betwwen her friends and colleagues? To her own children?
Holy fuck when you said her description was gonna be graphic I didn't realize just what level. Fuck man the evil that lurks inside the human psyche is scary
My mom was an abuse victim by her biological mother, She NEVER abused us and I only recall growing up in a safe and loving home. As an adult now, I can tell she displays abuse symptoms especially when she is upset and inflicts pain on herself by biting her self to the point where she either draws blood or causes severe bruising, I know its an unhealthy coping mechanism but she does not want to seek help. She says she is too old and that if at this point she has lived, she will continue to live with it :( .... I distinctly recall her inability to trust people and always fed us fear that people could harm us, or molest us. Little did I know the reason why, but all this to say, being a victim doesnt always mean you will become a perpetrator. I think it all depends on a persons willingness to make a change.
I'm an abused woman and I'm always trying to make changes because I've done wrong to people just like people who have done wrong to me. I got married and now I have a son and I'm never going back.
It's the same problem as the pedophilia in the church issue. Positions with unfettered access to potential victims will inevitably draw those who would take advantage of it.
@@SpuddyWesker my point is. "Single mother household" the very. Sentence is putting all the blame on the woman . Why is that always the focus when nine times out of ten it's the man who leaves. He is more at fault for leaving than the woman who actually stays and looks after the kid. Women don't typically abadon their children
Just like the other top comment I am also an abuse survivor. Im a 31 year old women and have spent a lot of time trying to be better but I know I'm still a problem. Im trying so hard to be better, I've went through a lot of therapy but I know I still need to do more work to be better. Im never going to give up on my recovery and I'm never going to stop trying to be a better person.
As a guy who was abused by his (single) mother and started smoking heroin when I was 15 I now understand that I should no longer disassociate from my situation I know now why people would describe me as "emotionless" as the time
thank you for the graphic warning, as a SA victim I absolutely cannot listen to stuff like that without completely breaking down. Can't watch the video but im glad you made one on this topic. Lots of love to everyone reading this
Only console players Jesus dude, whenever you start empathizing with women (aka simping), just remember the billions of men getting rejected for being too short and other crap. The harpies deserve every bad thing that happens to them.
@@nihilism6226 umm dude i think you didn't understand what i wanted to say, i wanted to say when i see karen now i dont laugh or im mad i feel sad for them becouse something had to trigger their behavior in the past, btw all those simping memes should go away, today you cant even ask a girl to a date and you Will be called a simp i mean wth smh
Only console players This has nothing to do with Karens. Karens are entitled women who attempt to establish dominance because they have ALL their lives. It’s mean girl syndrome but casted on the entire world.
I've also noticed that women who grow up incredibly spoiled end up just as abusive as women abused as children. Both extremes can have the same result.
As someone who was almost abused to the point of death, molested and chocked every week by my brother. I can tell you 100% that my brother and I loved the same childhood, went to the same school, had the same friends. He was only 2 years older than me, but he knew he wanted to water torture me. He knew he wanted to see me in pain. This was not a learned thing he started because of a traumatic event, this was a situation where he didn’t develop emotional feelings until he was 16 and even admitted to this fact. Some people lack emotions and only posses anger and they take it out on victims. So yes, a lot of times abusers abuse because of something, but not ALL the time. Also, it is harder to be in a relationship with an abuse victim, yes, but most abuse victims live normal lives happily and go through their day just like anyone else would. It used to terrify me to have to one day tell a boyfriend what happened to me, I was afraid they’d see me as damaged goods. But you know? I never did anything horrible to him like you suggested, the only thing from my abuse that I struggle with in the relationship is having him understand why I’m scared to walk alone in certain areas or why certain things like yelling make me feel like I’m going to be strangled. These things are MY problem, and most abuse victims don’t want someone else to fix these problems for them because you can’t. But to say to stay away from abuse victims is just cruel in my opinion.
yeah. My sister and I went through very similar circumstances because our "mother" got money from gov't and an enabling family member so she has done nothing but drugs her entire life, and left us kids to go through multiple foster "care" homes, childrens homes, and sorting through all the physical abuse and abandonment for me personally has been a lifelong journey. My sister on the other hand made a lot of the same poor choices as the mother and well... the results are predictable. Funny enough, I was lucky to have some strong mentors later in life and was able to make GOOD choices and now I do what I can to help others, but sadly, I'm often ignored because people these days do not want to hear the Truth, they do not want to change, because being a permanent victim is now somehow "empowering" and now abusing others is "okay" or we're not allowed to even discuss it. As I've grown older I understand why talk therapy today is a complete joke because therapists DO NOT CHALLENGE clients anymore. They just want that co-pay and insurance payout at $230 per hour 60-40 split if you're lucky enough to even have health coverage for talk therapy. Meanwhile for me, it's been interesting to see people ACT like they're "victims" when really, they've had mostly spoon fed easy peasy lives compared to the cards I was delt, but I'm not out protesting, doing stupid crap or running a Mr. Self Destruct covert program while taking out my anger on the rest of the world. You eventually find peace, but you have to be at a point in life where YOU want change. Sadly many do not, because, as the video rightly states, you DO have to be willing to engage with and confront the pain from the past. For many it's scary or they're too selfish or both, and in selfish, I mean, they do not want to take RESPONSIBILITY to heal. Yes, it's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to heal. Not Trumps, not the police, not the gov't, not the school teachers, it's YOUR JOB TO SORT OUR YOUR ISSUES!!!!!!!!! So... I could go on, but I just have less and less empathy for people in all honesty. We just have too many that just want to mask reality with emotions and put up barriers to growth, then when you call them out on it you have 45mins to an hour of your day wasted in some moral relativism/quicksand philosophical like talk where in the end, they've solidified n their mind that they somehow truly believe that being a victim is "empowering" and they'll take that ___t to the grave. It would just be nice if we all didn't have to pay higher and higher taxes because of the normalization of abuse and the subsequent governmental fiscal choices made because of it. I also have thought about how corporations want compliant individuals whom will take abuse and thus explains a lot of the foundations of k-12 and the university system that teaches more about compliance and conformity than it does about creativity, being a risk taker, and carving ones own path.
I feel like a lot of snooty people who judge people to be scum because they have tattoos need to watch this, so they can attain compassion for them instead. Once they have that compassion, this video also explained the right way of helping to not enable them, but be supporting. Not giving them what they want, but what they NEED. Thank you, great video, as always!
The metoo movement should focus on poor women like this, instead of celebs who slept with their producers, and regret it years later.
it's not profitable.
Excellent point. I couldn't agree more. Where's the #metoo movement to help Kelly?
I agree. Metoo is more a feminist movement that wants money, how do you think they pay for those giant billboards and ads?
This stories make us remember how lucky we are to get a good family and life.She made me really shocked and I want so much to help her but just can't.Since I first started to see this channel I realised how feminism is just using this poor souls to gain an agenda of censure and abuse because they were failures in life and lazy af.May god help these ppl find a new hope in life.
@@silvergamer7073 BLM nowhere to be seen ooops. why is that? cause the abusers happened to all be black. No whites to blame at all. Not good for the news.
I know we're critical of women on this channel but I think we need to take a real moment to process the traumas this poor girl has gone through. It's unconscionable.
Though I agree that things that may have (probably did) happened to her are horrible, see what happens if you manage to reengage your skepticism. You really think she doesn't regularly turn down loving simp's wholesome attempts to help? They are part of her regular paycheck. We are at a disadvantage when it comes to women :-)
for me her look is comparable to 14-16 years old. she might be 21 but surly she's lost like 5years old.
@@yap7656 Extreme stress can harshly limit growth, most obviously height.
@@jloren4647 it isnt really about the simps that will love her and give her whatever she wants day and night. its about the trauma that she endured from men and women alike in her most important stages in her life. it is extremely hard to open up and trust the motives of others after experiencing strong physical/mental abuse, and sex doesn't depict the severity of the person's trauma. she does not love and care for herself, and she needs to focus on healing herself before seeking out the love of others.
@@catieshrekman It was pointed at the young men who lose their faculties at a sad story and get caught up in some seriously bad news and invite disaster, literally. I take no delight in her brokenness.however she got that way. Women rarely play women as hardcore as men. If you want to make a woman fall for something in the same way you'd have to involve a kid.
How sad to see victims become perpetrators, and in turn just wish to create more victims. A horrendous irony.
The cycle of fear....
I know right? it's sort of counter intuitive.Because to someone that dosen't know this kind of stuff would say something like this "after this girl who gone through all this trauma finally gets in a healthy relationship,at first she's very paranoic but eventually she figured out the guy he is with is a guy with a good heart and then it'll all be fine" because if you think about it that's logical but yeah since us humans are very emotional yeah dosen't always work.
But don't forget that most victims don't turn into perpetrators. You can prove that mathemtically, because most perpetrators have more than one victim in their lifetime and if all victims turn into perpetrators, they would grow exponential till everyone is one.
Iustitia Aeterna true. I know plenty of victims who would never hurt a child. We all say it’s just like reliving the trauma you went thru as a child. The ones who become abusers typically at some point disassociated with their abuse and started to enjoy it. For an example look up the Brooklyn vampire. Trigger ⚠️ extremely graphic content
Ego does that to humanity and without awareness we all fall victim to it
Just want to say thank you. No, really, seriously, thank you. As a damaged woman, your content has changed my life and made me realize that I can't stay a victim my whole life, that I need to overcome my issues and work on myself. It should be obvious, but you made me wake up and see that I need to treat others (and myself) better.
I have alot of work to do, but a wise man once said, "...there's always a job to do."
Thank you again for speaking the truth, I really needed to hear this. I hope other women and ppl suffering from "victimhood" wake up and see their potential, that being a capable person and overcoming their issues is more important than self-pity and self-hate.
I feel the same way lol. My dad was abusive so my mom left him and I was raised in a single parent household. She took out alot of her anger and frustration on me and my sibling. I never realized how my life was affected by my abusive parents. Ever since I started watching his videos I take notes on how to change my behavior and how I treat others
If you are able to do that, then you are the strong independent woman that feminists claim all women are. Sometimes even if we know an obvious fact, we don't really consider it unless someone reminds us. You have my respect, ladies.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
You are strong. Very strong. You decide your fate. And thats what i had to learn too, its on me.
Respect ✊🏿
Say what you will, but this woman is a victim.
Damn right, well that’s just the obvious
According to Tbys, she was lying about some parts of the story.
But that *obviously* doesn't mean that victims can't turn to abusers themselves.
Yeah she is 😞 but as an adult, at some point you have to make the decision to get help or be better than your past. I think she's so battered it's hard for her to know how. For some it takes a while to get there and for some, when they find there way, they choose to remain a victim.
@TeletubbiesGaming yup
More money doesn't help a person who can't control their finance...
Precisely. Saving money and being conservative with your finances will go a long way towards savings.
@@thalmoragent9344 No duh, but people lack the ability nor is taught how to do such things. Many people live WAY out of their means and it is passed down to their children eventually.
Just look at the people who won the lottery.
Most of them smashed all their money in a very short time...
@@blueeyed5074
Stuff like this always confused me. If it were me, I'd have many savings accounts opened, transfer some into gold maybe (always have that universal currency) and then buy a and live a minimalist life, which would mean a near constant level of affordable living with money always saved.
Not gonna get a Ferrari or some Gucci or something ridiculous like that.
@@thalmoragent9344 it does, but I do think it can vary person to person. My husband and I had a decent savings until I lost my job and we had to use it for bills. We went into severe debt while I tried to find a new one. Luckily, we're finally back on track 2 years later, but that 2 year span was a nightmare all because I was jobless for several months. It was a quite specific situation and not everyone may have ended up in the same outcome, but playing catch-up is very difficult in my experience and I do sympathize with those who are broke. I will say though, if you don't at least make an effort to overcome your situation, I personally believe you deserve every outcome that subsequently happens.
People who grow up in abusive and aggressive environments become desensitized to things. Go work in a low income and poverty stricken area. Seeing shootings, physical violence, killings, etc., can cause you to be like her.
That's really the only way to survive in an environment like that. The ones that don't cope end up running around like headless chickens and end up in prison
That’s what people don’t want to understand about low income areas because it doesn’t fit their political agenda or racial biases they don’t want to admit they have. Your parents grew up seeing fucked up shit and they end up becoming fucked up people. You’re born, and not only do you have fucked up people raising you, you’re around other fucked up people who are killing, robbing, beating people up, etc.
You form trauma bonds with these people while also growing accustomed to that sort of lifestyle, seeing nothing wrong with it because that’s all you know. The only people telling you what you’re doing is wrong is people who didn’t experienced things you have, and so they have no validity to you.
That’s the trap. I was fortunate enough to come from those things and know what I know, but it’s unrealistic for me to expect the same from everyone because everyone isn’t the same.
i can attest to that, seeing nasty stuff does desensitize you, its why war vets unless they got PTSD real bad generally dont look like they are freaking out in shit situations, i saw a homeless man i fed shot dead when i was 16 flash to 21 i dont freak out over people threatening me, i beat the s**t out of them and threaten to follow them to their families, keeps crackheads in the hood off you and makes the gangbangers wary
@@mesiiahe7350 feeling like I wrote your comment myself. Much love bro salute
Its true, as someone who has grown up in poverty and mental abuse I can confirm this.
Edit: I just noticed I said I grew up with it lol, I guess that even though I still got 2 years left till im an adult I think of myself as fully grown.
I don't want to become an abuser...
Holy shit Im actually crying.
Few weeks after your video was posted a follow up interview with this girl was posted. She's been taken care of, used money from the fund to get a place to live, got a job and stopped doing drugs and is no longer suicidal. Fingers crossed for her.
Yes I saw that. Though I don't believe she is no longer suicidal. Treatment for mental health issues like that takes around 5-10 years. She might feel better temporarily but if she doesn't spend intense effort resolving the root cause of her suicidal thoughts then they will just come back the minute something goes wrong in her life.
🙏
She died a few months after that interview. Whether it be an overdose/suicide.
@@rebeccabeez4628😢
@@rebeccabeez4628That's probably the best for her. Her misery ends and she doesn't spread her problems.
Victims still DO NOT have an excuse to become the predator. Inexcusable. Im saying this as a victim of mental, physical and sexual abuse.
Things affect everyone differently, not everyone is the same. In the end, we all need help.
@Yuuio Thats still never an excuse. Period.
@@dontmindme9046 Doesn't matter. No excuses. EVER.
@@christmastree6817 i think it is more that it is going to be something that will need to be worked on and stopped before it reaches that point abuse is obviously never ok but letting someone become that way is also inexcusable
I agree, but it’s not that simple. Usually abusive parents are also abuse victims themselves, but they of course never sought proper treatment, and then it leads to them reliving their trauma and anger through their children. People underestimate this I feel, especially people who never grew up with bad parents, not to say it justifies their actions at all.
Yet some political movements objective is to destroy the nuclear family structure. We need to work on family structure, relations, love with stability. It starts from home. This saddens me and in a way, I can relate to her. God help us all.
100% You don't even need to mention which ones 😅
Facts
Honestly, I see people here talking about how he's harsh on her and that he doesn't know all of it. I think he puts in a lot of effort to give her the most unbiased view possible and doesn't blame her for the abuse. But some of these people in the comments act like all her troubles came up after a man sexually abused her and by extent they aren't wrong that it contributed but they act like men are evil and all the problems here. They neglected that bother her mother and grandmother abused her way before they did sending her on a long spiral of terrible situations. This person and others like her need some help to solve their life before it gets so far gone they can't fix the effects of being abused and I think that stable family structure will help that like you said
Lol. God
I feel so sorry for this girl man. I really hope one day she can overcome this type of abuse.
She doing better. She has a job and an apartment.
Kriis A - An update video.
Every one of those people in her past deserve to rot in hell.
@@chicnoir29 she lied about this whole story. people from her highschool exposed her and she was braggin on her social media that she got paid from the donations.
@@islamstudies7258 - The Washington Post did a follow up on her story. She got one date wrong but her story checked out. Those people from high school were jealous haters. IIRC she started high school but didn’t finish.
I'm still a recovering abuse victim. I've come such a long way.
Best of luck to you, brother. Take care.
Simeon Roban agreed! amen.
Best of luck man
Best of luck mate
You’ll heal bro, just know you are worthy to live a healthy life through a good heart
it was *extremely* hard to watch this without crying. absolutely terrible that grown ups did this to her
@@nihilism6226 ??
@@nihilism6226 WTF?!
Tactical WarDog he’s an incel. Don’t bother trying to help him
Bro I was mad asf. Lmao I was like if I was in her situation where there was a puddle of blood, I would sharpen my knife and stab him in the dick 20 times and stab him in the chest 10 times.
@@nihilism6226 bro
I might get flamed for this, but I’m going to say it anyway. This is why raising children with both a mother and biological father in the home is so important. The simple truth is that most people (men especially) have trouble loving and caring for children that are not genetically related. For some it is apathy, and for others it is a chance to abuse without the same level of guilt. But the fact is, the amount of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in so-called blended families and foster homes is sickeningly high.
I say this as an adoptive father. I love my adopted daughter just as much as my biological children, but it didn’t just happen magically. It took a lot of time and effort for me to grow that bond. Part of it was frustration from her psychological issues (abuse from single mother) and her initial rejection and fear of men. It was painful to be rejected when a woman, not a man, was the source of her abuse. It took over a year for her to begin to trust me, but when she did, she was stuck to me like glue. She’s the first one out the door to welcome me home, and she is really a joy. I went into the process full well aware of the difficulty, so I can only imagine what unprepared stepfathers and such face. Not to mention, the sick bastards looking for a victim that has no other support.
I’ve come to believe that having children outside of a two parent situation is selfish and wrong. You are setting that child up for a lifetime of pain, abuse, fear, and suffering. Their best hope is that they get adopted at a young age to a stable family, and as children get older, the less likely this becomes. Chances are, Kelly will never have a functioning marriage or personal relationships. She will have kids with no father, and the cycle will begin anew. Yet our society encourages this, knowing the likely result. It’s as if our society wants to kill itself.
Thank you for being a good stepDad, I had a friend who was raped by hers, even groomed to the point she thought it was okay and developed romantic feelings for her Dad. It was stepincest and was disgusting. The mother knew was well and did nothing. Her bf found out the lies and ending everything. Feel bad for everyone in that situation cause it was just sick tbh. Its hard to look at blended families the same after I saw what she did to her bf and her past
I'm sorry, but you're objectively wrong about having two biological parents being the answer. There are countless examples of children being abused by their biological parents. Is the rate lower than when only one parent is bio and the other is a step-parent? Likely so. But simply having a biological mother and father together is no cure at all to the cycle of abuse. Abuse stems from internalized abusive behaviors during childhood, which are then replicated when those childrne become adults and have children of their own. That has zero to do with having both biological parents and everything to do with parents that have had healthy parental examples growing up as a child.
@@derek96720 That’s simply not true. There are very few hard facts in social science, but one of them is that children with both parents in the home are much less likely to experience abuse, become addicted to drugs or alcohol, go to prison, become pregnant as a teenager, drop out of school, remain in/enter poverty, be unemployed, or be the victims of violent crime. They even develop mentally and emotionally at a slower pace.
As the rates of abuse are higher in so-called blended families than in ones with both biological parents, the. That is the preferable scenario.
That’s not to say abuse absolutely cannot happen of course. Much of the abuse is a result of what you indicated, people who were abused then abuse themselves. That’s why it is critically important to recognize if someone has an untreated abuse trauma. That was what was so important about dating and especially meeting that person’s family.
@@derek96720 Actually your wrong and you proved it in the lower comment. Bio parents (2 parents in the same household) are much less likely to abuse thir child than step/adoptive parents not only that but people from 2 parent homes are more likely to grow up and form 2 parent homes which is healthy parenting in a sense. Now its not all the time 100% but it is high enough to be the majority.
@@derek96720 now remember the good parent example you mentioned. Single parent house holds on average are a bit more abusive than 2 parent house holds so it means often times the child has a good example from the 2 parent house holds and begin a new cycle of 2 parent homes. Its not perfect and it doesn't apply to everything but again its the majority.
Abuse victims are not simply "damaged goods." In fact that's one of the biggest insecurities of abuse victims. They feel unlovable, push people away, etc. Because they feel they undeserving, but EVERYONE needs love. These victims just need patience, affection, and therapy when available
No, not EVERYONE. Certainly not the people who use their abuse as justification to go onto abuse others.
@@possummagic3571 is that what you think all abuse victims turn into? Be they men women children and animals
@@adatlorxy Omg, it's all or nothing with you isn't it?
@@possummagic3571 nah it's not all or nothing. I just don't cherry pick out of grey areas and outliers to further villainize abuse victims. If you're uncomfortable with yes or no questions then just say so lol
@@adatlorxyGo over my initial comment very carefully, and by all means point out to me where I said *ALL* abuse victims. The cycle of abuse is a thing. It's not cherry picking, it's observable in society. I've even got anecdotal evidence if that's what you want.
The best decision I've done in my life was to not tell my current boyfriend about my abusive childhood and sexual abuse. I used to bond with people who also had trauma, and it always resulted in toxicity from both parts. My boyfriend of 3 years has a very stable family and proved me they do exist and that I don't need to mention the abuse I've went through to receive love, affection or respect. My goal is to break my family's cycle of constant abuse. Even as a woman, the red pill movement and your channel in particular has really helped me not become like my mother.
I'm currently seeing a therapist to truly cope with my trauma, as it triggered through a lot of nightmares. I moved out at 17, I am financially stable and able to buy a house at 19.
Now, I honestly don't think I would've been able to get better if I hadn't stepped away from abused people. I thought relatability was what made friendships and relationships work, but who would want to bond over traumatic experiences?
Like you said, people who suffered abuse will most likely repeat the cycle because it's all they've ever known, and I agree. I had to step out of my comfort zone and surround myself with people who will never be able to understand what I've went through, and that's exactly what people like me need imo.
Childhood abuse or abuse of any kind cannot be normalized, as it convinces us that we cannot change, and that we were meant to suffer.
Good luck, I hope you find peace
Hey, you are doing all you can do (provided you are being truthful). Keep it up, never stop trying, break the cycle and good luck!
I'm happy for you, my Ex-girlfriend was abused a lot as a child. But she hid her nature to cling to toxicity from me until I asked her to help me when I needed it over something small. Getting therapy is great, but in the longer long run, tell your SO about your trauma and how you personally seek out support outside to not add baggage to your lives. Trust me Men aren't that shallow. But the issue is once you make it known, respect him for his trust. I was trusted and I was still disrespected even though I tried to console her. She didn't seek help, and you did. But acting out of character and trying to steal from me and embarrass me in public over a $5 tip isn't a way to go about it amongst other things. You're doing better because you chose good progress.
I'm really glad for you and excuse me for asking but how did you manage to get enough money to buy a house in 2 years? I could use some ideas. And again good going
@@uzzwalkumar253 I actually started saving when I was 16. I have always been working 30hrs+ per week even in highschool and for later studies. I work at a grocery store/butchery at the moment, so I am able to eat very good food with my worker discount. I also live in a city with very good transit, so I never bought a car so far even if I'd like one. I rarely go out to eat or for drinks, and I never take taxis/Uber. I only buy thrifted items too and I try to not order online. I'll be honest, I don't really budget or anything. I can recommend you to just change your spending habits so it makes the transition to saving money less stressful and more natural ? Hope it helps! But yeah houses here are like 300k so I guess it can def differ from where you live
people like that need stability, its not as simple as just going to a therapist or a 12 step program, getting a job like a hairdresser isn't good either because its too much person to person and a girl with that background is unlikely to be able to deal with minor setbacks/conflict, when you've been abused like that every minor thing becomes fight or flight
not all people like this are going to be abusive or abusive to a high level (violence or worse) but they are going to have a lot of issues
the suicide talk is a direct cry for help, pretty much saying give me something to feel good about right now
its sad but people like this get swept under the rug, most therapists aren't able to deal with the multiple issues and the cost to rehabilitate them is too high
Yes, I have seen where most therapists are recommended to not deal with people suffering with BPD bc of how complex it is and many people in the field are coming forward saying they are not taught about trauma when getting their degrees or licenses, and BPD is very trauma centered I’d say. I suffer from it and have done all the research I can about it and it goes deep to yeah, some genetics, linking down to anxiety and potential for addiction, but environment and routine does a lot for regulating and managing.
The BannerLord yes that’s a big one. many things come into play I try and keep track of my food water and exercise intake to stay above water but often have to restart
"...every minor thing becomes fight or flight" This happens to me, like A LOT.
I agree it’s not as simple as saying Kelly must follow steps 1-3 and she can unlock a better life. Every person who was supposed to protect her or she trusted betrayed that trust, how would she even know where or how to find help or trust the right person.
P. C. And the sexual irresponsibility...
I was abused, and an abuser. When I was 18 I had no ideas or motivation to drive myself towards a career or work of any kind, and I was an addict and a severe alcoholic. My parents had kicked me out of the house more than once when they finally wouldn't let me come back home. I was detained on an emergency order, and ended up in the psychiatric hospital where I met a girl and moved in with her (after a week). Needless to say that didn't work out and I became homeless. It wasn't until I had been homeless for about 2 months and ended up in jail that I didn't lose hope. I finally realized that I was the only one who could help myself. Amazingly my parents had bailed me out after about 9 days and allowed me to come back home. That in September of 2019, at first I struggled with my emotional awareness, but in 2020 I started to improve. Its incredible what can be achieved in a few months, I've made a great effort to be sober now. I still drink, but nothing like I used to. (My body somewhat rejects alchohol now). I have a solid idea of what I want to do and accomplish with my life, and what I imagine what it means to live as a good man. It wasn't until all of my friends and family cut me off that I figured it out. I will never spite or hate them for that, in fact I an very thankful they allowed me to have that lesson.
Glad to read that! You can overcome; I would recommend reading or listening to Meditation by Emperor Marcus Aurelius, it helped me a lot.
Good luck! I hope your past trauma can help you be wise and cut the cycles of abuse.
Her body language matches her memories... people who've been through systematic abuse as children do indeed become detached from their memories, but their actions show them recollecting.
Yeah I agree. I can smell bullshit from a mile away and she is not making this stuff up.
Lol an r/agedlikemilk comment
@@rosestar1324 Context?
Damn 😥 I feel her pain. I forced to be a sex slave to my own father starting at 3 by the time I was 7 in half he went to prison and my mom and family verbally abuse me telling me I ruined my mom's perfect married life by telling on my dad. I was thrown out to survive at the age of 13. I'm now 38. She's brave. God bless her.
...God save your family, for they already walk among the damned.
Jesus fuck
Omg I’m so sorry sweetie 😭😭
Omg
What the hell. I'm so sorry that happened to you
I love this channel. Many channels depict the current problem with women with personal rage, and beliefs which have no scientific basis. But, THIS GUY, really goes deep into the problems. REALLY GREAT BRO, KEEP IT 🆙
Another channel which you might like is Better Bachelor. Incredibly based videos in which he applies life experience to articles, posts and papers and comments and analyzes them.
Totally agree
deep where tho
Many mgtow channels are just ranting wahmen this, wahmen that or all wahmen are bad. TBYS is one of the few channels that actually researches the core problems of society and human nature itself.
@@firstnamelastname1375 Check out BarBar, Coltaine, Spetsnaz and HuMan. Sunrise Hoodie is an honorable mention as well.
Holy shite, he balanced his chemical and alchemist formulas this time!! I really hope that wasn't the reason for the reupload.......
Yes, that was entirely the reason I reuploaded this video. I couldn't handle the embarrassment anymore.
@@ThinkBeforeYouSleepYT
Your comment reeks of sarcasm. What was the real reason for the reupload?
@@DoubleOddJosh It's in the video.
Think Before You Sleep you should make a second video on this topic
If you check on his channel Community tab you will see his posts about it.
I'll just say this again.
I've learned not to try and help women who've been abused. And thanks to this channel I'm starting to do my own research on how to identify these people.
I agree. Why we should help people who don't want to help themselves? For me it seems that this girl rather boasting than complaining about her life. She's said that decided to commit suicide; I don't care - that is how natural selection works...
They don't have the tools to help themselves, they need therapy, no more captain save-a-hoes.
I guess that's very important that you know that you can't to help this people. We aren't a psychologist, the best that we can do it's indicate professional help. Just this.
@@dextershelby5780 intimate partners should not be psychologists, there needs to be a gap for healing to occur
@@John_Smith100 It's true. A psychologist already said me that is very important a level of detachment to can to deal with this cases.
My first girlfriend was similar to this. She was young but she was abused and she had a lot of emotional issues. I was young and wanted to be “different” than her exes. So I loved her and put up with her abuse. She told me so many lies. I still don’t know what is true or what isn’t. I wanted her to one day realize that it was me that actually did love her all along and didn’t want to use her.
I still don’t think she sees me as being different. She used to says she did. But I don’t know what’s true.
If you love someone you never put with their disrespect or abusiveness you’re problem is you’re unwilling to put that girl in her place
OG Yoda ' dude i was like 16.
Toni Capone this wisdom applies to all ages
OG Yoda ' i know. I’m saying I was a teenager. I knew very little about love.
My grandpa always said "never marry a sick person, they will suck everything from you" he was talking about body health, but now its also about mental health.
I think it depends on the situation
@@Megan-ir3zemaybe by as in a sick personality. Though you have to admit there are cons to dating someone with mental disorders even if they’re a good person. It can be emotionally draining. It is for my partner whom I’m grateful for. But that does NOT mean their undeserving of love and can be rewarding as well.
Life ain't like chemistry, we can overcome obstacles.
Brilliant point!
In addition, you could say that overcoming an obstacle is like creating a new compound.
Just because u can doesnt mean everyone can
It depends on the obstacle. Not everything can be overcome with good old fashioned hard work. If it's a psychological obstacle, you need outside help. Even if you're able to identify it, it's extremely hard to break mental conditioning. An alcoholic knows they're an alcoholic. Doesn't fix the issue.
@@leonrobinson8180 It's difficult for sure, but not impossible. It certainly means putting more work than others, which seems unfair.
To use the chemistry analogy:
It requires a lot of energy to break a molecule of water into Oxygen and Hydrogen but it's not impossible; it might be the only way to form a new compound requiring Hydrogen, for example.
being broken part of your personality isnt an obstacle. Its a deep rooted problem that can take so much time to heal that you might be dead by then.
Danielle bregolli (the cash me outside girl) would also be good for a case study. Her mother barely had any authority over her before the Dr. Phil show. I also noticed that parts of this analysis apply to that girl as well.
Dr. Phil stated in a separate interview that Danielle's problem was her mother. When he separated Danielle from her for some type of therapy camp he said that she actually did really well and was really responsive to the people there. It was when she got back into the hands of her mom that he said she instantly went back to her old ways.
th-cam.com/video/UA3jI71gy8E/w-d-xo.html this one.
Up!
JantanBetina It’s almost always the parents. Most kids can do well in structured environments with clearly defined rules, consequences.
The thing is, Danielle did have childhood trauma, and she ended up getting treatment for it
I find it hard to believe there are people out there that are not aware enough of their hurtful actions towards children. Hitting a baby or raping a 7 year old, I am at loss of words honestly.
I feel so sad for this girl, I hope she overcomes her truma
She lied about this here highschool friends exposed here
@@islamstudies7258so the rapes were true the abuse was true she's still Ben through shit even if she lied about her friends
Think before you sleep: "You can't make table salt with carbon and oxygen."
Nilered: "Challenge accepted."
The worst abuse in a lot of cases is what people say to themselves. "I am not good enough" "I can't do this" "I'll never amount to anything" sort of statements. It is possible to overcome yourself though.
Child wouldn’t know, we learn what we are from our parents and surroundings, and if all we know is abuse and humiliation we wouldn’t know that we deserve any better.
That's what this video says to survivors
Unfortunately, it only can start when we decide. Unless we can let go of our past, and look into the future, and choose what we be, nothing is gonna change.
@@Raya-ir4tm oh we got a badass over here
The truth hurts
"Monsters aren't born, there created"
💯💯
*they're
Speak for yourself. You know how many of my siblings I had to slay to get to the egg in order to be squeezed out of a vagina onto this hopeless planet. We were born monsters. Batman doesn’t understand this.
@Dominate Gene If you don't utilize it in casual settings, then you won't have it in professional ones.
They're born too (psychopaths) yet few of them decide to become monsters.
More and more are being made.
Abuse is a natural byproduct of weak people, even the cowards who don't fight back are stronger than those that lash out.
Unless they get beaten to death.
Not necessarily. Just because someone was physically too weak to punish someone before doesn't mean he will never do it once he has the opportunity to lash out on someone weaker. Enough idiots hitting their children or abusing their partners because out of these power relations they never were capable of doing so.
@@Kurostyle21 no shit, you gotta stop responding to bad logic as if it was logical to begin with. He's clearly wrong. LOL. weak people are those who allow others to walk over them without any plans at all even sneaky ones and weak people sometimes abuse, and sometimes absers are strong and nored etclol
@@KAIZORIANEMPIRE
I thought it was a joke when he was writing it
abuse means hurting someone weaker than you. Theres no strength on that. Only the lack of willpower to be better than your abusers.
When I hear the term "abusive childhood" I' used to think of extreme cases same as hers so I always thought that my childhood was ok
But now after growing up and learning more about it and that abuse isn't only being beaten every day or sexually abused
It can be emotional and physical
And being hit occasionally is also abuse
also what made it hard for me to realize my abusive childhood is that for ex. my parent wasn't angry every day and that she/he was mostly laughing and caring for me and she/he would only shout or hit me when going through a bad day
I used to stay silent when they get angry to not make it escalate and get beaten
Anyway
Although I still suffer some trauma from it
I'm working on it and I'm happy that I recognized that I have a problem cuz this's a big step towards recovery
I agree, my parents were mostly really good, but they aren’t perfect. My dad has anger issues and he used to hit us when we were younger, the last time he hit me was when I was like 14 or 15, which isn’t a good thing. He also would yell at us and even insult us, whether it be about school or when we were doing work outside, and it has caused me to develop a need to try and do everything right and I get really frustrated when I don’t. My mom was herself abused when she was a kid, and while she almost never laid a hand on us, she has a tendency to get moody and also hates it when we disagree with her on issues such as politics, and even tries to inject her own beliefs onto us, though I doubt she really knows how bad that actually is.
Try saying being hit occasionally is a form of abuse to an African, Asian or Hispanic parent
@@larinettemanatang8039 we mean we were beaten for nothing. We were little children being beaten by a vastly stronger and imposing adult. Getting a little smack is nothing especially when you're being an asshole or behave poorly on purpose.
Ever been knocked to the floor and kicked by a parent? Ever pissed yourself during it?
There's a difference to what I think you mean and the memories remain
@@larinettemanatang8039 It still is abuse lol. Culture doesn't matter. Abuse is abuse.
My heart hurts hearing her talk about the abuse she went trough. Its crazy how much she has endured already at her age... if it were me id had jumped off the nearest bridge
I would never want to invite someone like this into my life who hasn't got treated for their past. They bring too much baggage which would impact you. I'm not here to take care of those people.
Even good people who haven't been abused by anyone except their own brain chemistry can hurt us. Not that I'm arguing against your point, just that it isn't limited to people who have been abused by others.
I was in a band with a friend of mine. He'd done meth when he was younger because he had that kind of live fast die young personality. He got off it and while he drank and smoked weed, he also had a good job, a kid, and a fun band to play in. One day he came over to tell me the rest of the band went and got a different singer. But, he was so shit scared of doing it that he went out and bought meth and smoked it before he could confront me. I was fine with not being in the band, but I told him straight up that I couldn't stay friends with him if he's still smoking. It hurt way more than being kicked out of the band.
those people have to choose to take care of themselves, and anyone supporting them, emotionally or otherwise, just gives them less motivation to change.
@@lierce6130 Exactly. Many of these individuals are master manipulators who prey on the generosity of others. As the saying goes…help someone out when they’re in trouble and they’ll remember you the next time they’re in trouble.
@@muzikdude1188 disagree
If they do want to change then they do deserve a friend that cares
Train a child in the way he [should] go; and, even when old, he will not swerve from it. ( Proverbs 22:6 )
I too have been abused as a child and your videos actually teach me quite a lot on how to work on and improve myself
As a new mum, I just dont understand how someone could ever look at a child and want to do it any harm. I actually cannot fathom it.
This video is absolutely heart breaking, this poor woman has experienced potential the worst childhood ive ever heard. I hope she got better
The world can be a very cruel place folks, be safe.
I grew up in a great orphanage with lots of amazing dedicated staff but a lot of people who've been abandond lie because they want validation. Few actually come from insane sytuations and the difference is vast! I know these sytuations a lot more rare than most popcorn eaters like to believe! I do believe most womens stories are 100% for attention because I grew up with them. A truely tramatised person will not talk about this stuff much less on air ffs!
*Never hurts to rethink before you go sleep*
I don't totally agree with the tattoo bit. I don't have any tattoos but I was abused and I know many people who were not abused, at least as far as I know who have tattoos. As a matter of fact many of the people I know that have tattoos were actually spoiled as kids and wanted to be rebellious.
The others just decided to do it because it was pretty.
I know you don't mean every single person that has tattoos is like this but people can get the wrong idea and miss out on someone who is actually a good person just because they notice a little tiny tattoo on her shoulder or something.
Neither my spouse nor I have tattoos and we don't want them (okay when I moved out I did think about getting one but my partner said no and he's very old school being much older than I am. 😆 I'm totally fine by that because we're not just living for ourselves anymore as a family) but I don't think it's fair to judge everyone that has them as being someone with baggage. Now I do agree that people who go over the top of tattoos usually have some serious issues as everyone I've met that had a body paint of tattoos, while some of them are the coolest people I know, are usually also people that have a lot of drama or good themselves in trouble: more so risk takers.
LOL, this comment is inane babble.
@TH-cam Troll Well I guess your name says it all 😂
But in case you aren't trolling, no one is looking for attention. Just stating something, but I guess I'm not welcome.
@@aaacomp1 how is it babble? ☹️
@alteori The thing about his opinion on tattoos is, well, its just his opinion. I personally don't agree at all with him on it but I kind of skip over it because the other things he talks about make sense.
I have no relatable experience with tattoos like he describes and neither does anyone who I have asked. Maybe its an internet/specific following thing.
The tattoo bit is true. Maybe u just don’t know the abuse that’s occurred. When ppl can’t heal from the pain, they get tats. It’s really crazy tbh
I have A LOT of deeply personal knowledge on this topic.
That being said, let it be known far&wide, that you NAILED IT ON EVERYTHING YOU SAID.
I was abused, in literally every imaginable fashion, by the age of 10. I was a serious drug user and a fully dependent opiate addict by 19 (I.V. user by 14) and a serious (very serious) self mutilator ( specifically a cutter, whose arms are both covered from wrist to shoulder, some spots even have layered cuts)....
And this is the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
You made a million phenomenally great points.
Today, I have over 9 months clean, am back in school, caring for my disabled dad, back on a stringent diet/workout/yoga routine and am back to my several times daily writing. I also have a stringent routine with regard to seeing my psychologist& psychiatrist/taking my meds.
Still, I don't know whether or not I'll ever be "right", so to speak. This isn't me being 'hard on myself'. I think I'm pretty cool. As a friend or someone to work with. But any man I'd love deserves nothing short of the absolute best. Which isn't me unfortunately.
I can't stand that there's people that think abusing their child is ok. It's just so obvious to me. The girl's story is tragic, and even though she probably became toxic, she's aware of her flaws, and that makes it even more tragic. She deserves to get better.
Take care of your kids people...
Need more tough talks like this to understand human nature more
Look at how many comments even on this red pill vid see her as all victim with no skepticism. Woman in need= swallow a 1-sided story hook, line and sinker... Im sure her mom had a similar one. Sad but to act like she doesn't regularly turn down help as a prostitute is naive.
do you know , mothers are more abusive due to being more emotional? but hide it to well. Look how many fake smiles in front of you but once you leave the group a lot of dirt goes your way.
@@yap7656 Lol yeah women often play both sides like that
@@RedMaitreya also Lolcows are abuse victims too
Mental health, you can't help an abused woman or man with just love, got to get them professional help.
Therapist's are very useless nowadays
@@akhonankosi4704 well don't get one that's useless if you don't have a diagnosis with in reasonable time than guess what find another mental health provide psychologist.
@@mister-understood where was Jesus during all her life?
I feel compassion for her and that's that.
I really appreciate these videos. One of my adopted daughters is an abuse survivor and I hope when she grows up we can help her avoid making herself a target to abusers. Her sister who witnessed the abuse is pretty desensitized to it and gets really aggressive. So helps us keep an eye on both of them.
She is 21 years old, like me. I feel so sorry for her. 😭😭😭
Girl why the laughing emoji
@@selamfeleke8788 ?
@Yuuio No it isn't. I puted a crying emoji no a laughing emoji
@@gisellpotes3567 either ways it’s not really appropriate to add emojis, even if they show what you’re trying to convey. They’re *emojis!.*
@@billyguns6975 Thanks for the advice.
Thanks to my man for reuploading this video. Your videos are full of amazing information.
Think Before You Sleep gave me a very helpful perspective when it comes to human psychology, that can be of practical use under circumstances. Keep it up. Your videos are highly anticipated and appreciated.
Think before you sleep:
The lost episode
?
This is so sad. I shed a tear for this kid, life aint fair.
Watching this and being able to see them before you said them really proves to me how far I've come with my past struggles. It took this approach of being accountable to find my demons and move past. Thanks bro
As a survivor of abuse myself, I did my best to give off no signs of it. I have no tattoos or piercings. None of my scars are visible. They're all internal and they've all been resolved long ago. Unfortunately for my childhood therapy, my therapists broke my trust and would tell my mom everything and then I would get abused even more for sharing that. So I learned to work through things on my own and be careful of what I shared because it might get back to my mom and I might get beat for it. I think I ran away from home 5 times and the last time was when I was 17 and I tried to get legally emancipated. I had friends whose parents were willing to take me in. I was told the judge wouldn't even consider emancipation and that they didn't believe in it. How the hell is that legal? You can just decide arbitrarily as a judge that you don't like some aspect of the legal system and refuse to do it?
This poor girl... The cycle of violence needs to stop. Hearing this girl talk made me cry... It made me think, It changed my attitude about some things... All I can say is, I'm sorry... From this point forward I will try to do better, and I will try to help when I can.,
she has a very distinct look in her eyes that tells me that she would absolutely kill someone for no reason...i was homeless on "skid row" for about 6 months. well, not entirely. at the time, i was on drugs and one day, i decided to check myself into the Union Mission on 5th & San Julian, into their drug rehab program after a few months. i was doing good too. i was in charge of the check-in office and even played music during the services. i usually was on guitar, but sometimes picked up a bass or banged away on the drums. at the time, i was 20yo. there was a woman there that worked there who was super sweet and i knew she really liked me. i started talking to her. we became friends and i was literally about to ask her out and then one day during a function, i was coming down the elevator all dressed up looking good, the elevator stops at the floor under mine and she got onto the elevator. a little boy holding her hand came onto the elevator with her. the woman smiled at me and was sweet as always. the issue was that i didnt know she had a kid until that point and at that moment was a HUGE "NOPE" from me. i think i said maybe two words to her on the elevator and as soon as we got to ground floor, i took off flying as soon as the door opened.... i saw her a few mins later and when she saw me, i could tell she knew that i didnt want her any more. she actually seemed really hurt that i rejected her. i dont really care though. its not that i was mean to her, i just didnt want to raise a kid that wasnt mine. had she not had a kid, i absolutely would have dated her. i cant even blame her for not telling me she had a kid. i never saw her with one and i never asked. honestly, she did seem like a decent woman and i found out later that the kid was the result of a very violent rape that had happened to her and even though i look back and think "damn, i feel bad for her" but what was i gonna do? i mean, i was still getting over my addiction at the time and was just starting to see the results of bettering myself. hell, i was wearing nice suits, ran the check-in office and could pretty much do whatever i wanted to do, any time i wanted. i was eating real good too. the kick in the pants was after about 6months, a couple LAPD officers came walking in and came right over to me and arrested me because i wasnt able to travel from "twin towers jail facility" in downtown LA up to Lancaster to check in to probation with no money at all, no way to get there, no idea where tf Lancaster even was and not even being from that region. i was from Truckee, Ca (tahoe area) and had never been to a massive city prior to that. what was i supposed to do? anyways, the judge saw that i had checked myself into the rehab program at Union Mission, gave me time served and reinstated my probation. that night, i was EXTREMELY lucky that at the same time, a guy who was in one of the "dorms" (OMCJ) was being released at the same time and just so happened to have his sister on the way from Lancaster to pick him up so he offered me a ride up to Lancaster with him. i got checked in at probation and tried to get them to transfer my probation up to my hometown, where i was from. they refused so as a result, i wound up homeless in Lancaster, Ca for a good while, kind of. i found the mission/shelter in Lancaster and it just so happened that some guys from a rehab program were there and i signed up on the condition they get me to check in at the probation office in Lancaster. well, i get screwed yet again as the second time i had to check in, i find out that my probation had been moved to Salinas, Ca. i had no clue where that was or how to get there. the Lancaster office accepted my check in...yeah, Los Angeles County really screwed me over. i tried to do right. i did everything i could to do what was required of me. with no family, no income at all because nobody wants to hire a homeless person and no freaking idea where to even go and my probation office being changed over and over, i violated probation again. i took off up to Bakersfield because i heard that there was hiring going on at the oil rigs and i really needed to find work. the thing is, i was in violation of my probation the second i left Los Angeles county. about a year later, i was walking from my place where my gf at the time and i were staying to go to a store to grab some food for the night and next day. as i was walking, some random freaking crackhead asked me for a cig. i had a pouch of rolling tobacco and told him i could roll him one if he wanted one. as i was rolling it, the douchenozzle pulls a knife on me and tries to rob me. i manage to get the knife from him and get it folded and put into my pocket to take the knife out of the equation. as soon as the knife was in my pocket, folded, i tightened my hold around his neck until i felt him go completely out. i got up and walked away toward the front of the store to throw the knife out into the trashcans they had there. i get about 10ft from the cans and i get swarmed by Bakersfield PD. they werent playing around either. one officer actually fired a shot at me even though i had my hands up, plainly visible and doing exactly as instructed. luckily he missed because i really feel like they would have let me bleed out right there had that officer hit me. well, i get sent to Kern County jail on charges of "assault with deadly weapon" because i guess there was a tow truck driver down the road who saw the end to the little scuffle that had occurred so when he called 911, he had only seen me with the knife while i was in the process of choking someone out. i fought that. i told them that the knife that was on me should be able to be fingerprinted and the crackheads prints would be on it. they didnt even bother checking it. after doing a few months in Kern County, i was transferred back to Los Angeles County Twin Towers facility to do a full 9 months for probation violation. check this out: when i got out, that fkn knife was in my property....this was all back in 2005-2007. havent been into any trouble since, except that i moved to other side of country and never finished probation. i didnt pay the fines and never went to court to have things squared away. yes, i know i should have done that. whats weird is that even though the LA probation thing was a felony, it wasnt a violent felony or anything along those lines. i just happened to be sitting in a truck i didnt know was stolen, in Castaic, Ca. had i known it was stolen, i never would have gone anywhere near it and if it was me who took it, or even knew about it being stolen, i absolutely would have owned up to my actions. i just didnt know so i was in wrong place at wrong time. its weird because i have pushed my luck a few times here in NC. for instance, i was at a gun range and some karen called the cops because she thought we were "shooting fully automatics". the cops saw me with an AR-15 in my hands, pulled the empty mag and setting the rifle down as soon as i saw them come up. they ran my name and everything. nothing came up like "felon" or anything like that, so maybe my case was part of the thing Cali did a couple years back and the felony was removed, but i really have no idea. i dont want to check because the only ways id be able to do that, would basically be me walking into police station and going "hey guys, im not sure if this is possible, but could you guys run me and see?" that could potentially get me into cuffs faster than anything and i would be the joke of the station while im there. the real shitty part is that one of the local cops is someone i call a friend. id want him to uphold his oath though and if hes gotta arrest me, i dont want him to "overlook" it. at the same time, other than not being sure about what happened with the probation/felony, ive done alot of good over the last, roughly, 10yrs. ive even given $1k this year to local police dept that does a cool thing called "shop with a cop" and have been doing it since 2010. im one of their biggest donators every year and i do all kinds of other stuff too. for instance, i spend close to $500/month on food for those who need it and donate it to the various churches in the area. its a small area, so i know its helping quite a bit. every year, as it gets colder, i buy alot of jackets and cold weather stuff and donate it. i also enjoy riding around with that cop who i call a friend during Christmas and instead of giving tickets for stupid crap, giving presents instead. seeing the happiness on some of the peoples faces makes it worth it to me. i have the means to help others and because i wish someone had helped me, i try to be what i wish i had when i was homeless..... yes, im still an asshole, but i dont hate people. i dont have much time left on earth and im hoping that maybe ill be able to truly help someone. even if its with my story, maybe that will help someone....if you need help, dont be afraid to ask. a closed mouth doesnt get fed. the only way to make things better is to reach out for help when you need it.
i wish i had it years ago.
my mom and her husband were bad meth addicts and used to beat me really bad. i started running away when i was 9. i started drinking and doing drugs when i was still 9, but almost 10. i would run away BECAUSE i didnt want to be at "home" with my mom and her husband. id rather freeze in a blizzard in Truckee, Ca (tahoe area) than stay with them. its probably why when i was a little younger, i was a real piece of crap. but yeah......i dont know what to say now, so im just gonna shut tf up.
Idk how one half of the comment relates to the video
So the first part of your comment is unrelated to the rest?
How are you doing now this year then?
Do you feel guilt or remorse for that women ?
Bro this could’ve been shorter I had to stop reading
Many of my stories parallel hers. I was in foster care, I was raped, molested, abused, kidnapped, tortured, and thrown around like a ragdoll by the foster care system. However, my mom, even though she was the reason me and my sisters ended up in there due to drug abuse (which she quit cold turkey and never went back again), she still fought tooth and nail with the help of my dad (technically my step dad but he raised me so I call him dad) to get me and my sisters out. I was raised in a broken home nonetheless, dealing with bullying, absent parents, abusive sisters, only one friend for 10 years. I was shot twice randomly, seen several friends die or kill themselves, 4 of which blamed me for their suicide, and went through two cancer diagnosis', one for skin, one for bone, and almost died more times than I can count.
However, I don't let that define me. I had a rough life, I still do. But I'm making the best of it. I've been to therapy for several years, taking medication for mental conditions, and have amassed a small group of very loving people, and reforged my bonds with my older sisters, and we're closer now than ever. I lost my mom 5 years ago, and since then lifes been even hard. I was homeless for a year, and lived in a shelter another 2 years. But I've had my own place for two years now, and I've been doing my own thing, and growing up the best I can.
What I always tell others is to not let your abuse control you. Rise above it and take charge of your present, because otherwise, your past will rule you, and you'll end up in equal or worse states to this girl right here. Take care of yourself, and eventually things WILL start turning around. I promise.
That poor beautiful woman. It's sad that people who were abused become dangerous and a perpetrator themselves. It's a nasty cycle. I hope she gets help that she needs.
But I also just got out of a horrific relationship with a woman who was raped by her Father, so perhaps you have a point.
How do you know that she was raped? I'm struggling with someone that seems to have a past trauma but either refuses to tell anything or just claims that she forced herself to forget everything.
The Gr8 Malachite you just answered yourself in your own response
Edit: Auto correct changing my shit again
I got of one too. But I do love her to this day so much, I just want her to be happy and peaceful.
@@archscorpion1153 same here, but I know better than to go back to a toxic relationship. The kids deserve a chance at a happy childhood
Same here, years ago. Im a bit old but how did you know? did she lie you in the beginning, pls share more friend
She "accepts" the abuse.
If she accepts the abuse toward herself, will she accept abuse towards others too?
To her future boyfriend? From her future boyfriend? Betwwen her friends and colleagues? To her own children?
Accepting what you've been through is part of the healing process.
Hey would u also make a video about men? I'm curious about our side of the spectrum as a man and a victim of child abuse .
It's the same thing, actually. The consequences are a little different, however. Say, instead of prostitution, it's joining gangs.
@@HappyGick Makes sense
Its the same thing tbh.
@@bigbag6709 With variations of course
Soft white underbelly channel has their stories
Good you added the text and re-uploaded. This one is packed with info and things to consider. Thank you.
Holy fuck when you said her description was gonna be graphic I didn't realize just what level. Fuck man the evil that lurks inside the human psyche is scary
I love you guys, for everyone who was abuse physically or emotionally. 😥
Plz keep making videos like this one. This is extremely useful ♥️🙏🏻🙏🏻
My mom was an abuse victim by her biological mother, She NEVER abused us and I only recall growing up in a safe and loving home. As an adult now, I can tell she displays abuse symptoms especially when she is upset and inflicts pain on herself by biting her self to the point where she either draws blood or causes severe bruising, I know its an unhealthy coping mechanism but she does not want to seek help. She says she is too old and that if at this point she has lived, she will continue to live with it :( .... I distinctly recall her inability to trust people and always fed us fear that people could harm us, or molest us. Little did I know the reason why, but all this to say, being a victim doesnt always mean you will become a perpetrator. I think it all depends on a persons willingness to make a change.
Your mother is a great woman for not putting her children through the same situation she went through
No you shouldn't let her harm herself
If she does that, you should call the police
I'm an abused woman and I'm always trying to make changes because I've done wrong to people just like people who have done wrong to me. I got married and now I have a son and I'm never going back.
That's just horrifying that someone could go through all of that at such a young age. No person should ever even experience any of that trauma.
This is extremely sad situation, thank you for such informative video. This guy is gold, one of the wisest youtube creators on the platform.
what the flip is wrong with these Foster Parents smh..
It's the same problem as the pedophilia in the church issue. Positions with unfettered access to potential victims will inevitably draw those who would take advantage of it.
derek96720 - Excellent point.
It's common for pedos to foster kids.... Predators hunt on familiar grounds.
This problem isn't just foster parents. Bio parents and family members do it too. The difference is, it's swept under the rug by the family.
I missed it the first time. Thanks for re-uploading.
As the saying goes, “Hurt people hurt people”
This is one of the most important videos on TH-cam... Thank you
This all starts with broken families and single mother households.
No, it starts with bad parental examples and abusive behaviors during childhood.
@@derek96720 that too, but single mother households are four times higher chance to raise a criminal.
Men get women pregnant and ditch them. 🙃
@@roemarsh107 yes. thats how you get single mother house holds, whats your point?
@@SpuddyWesker my point is. "Single mother household" the very. Sentence is putting all the blame on the woman . Why is that always the focus when nine times out of ten it's the man who leaves. He is more at fault for leaving than the woman who actually stays and looks after the kid. Women don't typically abadon their children
Just like the other top comment I am also an abuse survivor. Im a 31 year old women and have spent a lot of time trying to be better but I know I'm still a problem. Im trying so hard to be better, I've went through a lot of therapy but I know I still need to do more work to be better. Im never going to give up on my recovery and I'm never going to stop trying to be a better person.
Thank you sir for reupload
Your dispassionate, well-reasoned points are exactly what the world needs today.
My heart is hurting for these children never had a chance....
I’m glad you reposted, why was the first vid taken down?
I removed it to make corrections.
@@ThinkBeforeYouSleepYT i respect that
As a guy who was abused by his (single) mother and started smoking heroin when I was 15 I now understand that I should no longer disassociate from my situation
I know now why people would describe me as "emotionless" as the time
I feel for this girl. I hope she gets on track and does good for herself
thank you for the graphic warning, as a SA victim I absolutely cannot listen to stuff like that without completely breaking down. Can't watch the video but im glad you made one on this topic. Lots of love to everyone reading this
I just want to hug her. No child deserves that.
I feel so bad for this woman. I hope she gets the help she needs and finds out its ok to get help...
That was intense, informative and tragic beyond words.
This gives me a whole new prespective on Karens
Only console players Jesus dude, whenever you start empathizing with women (aka simping), just remember the billions of men getting rejected for being too short and other crap. The harpies deserve every bad thing that happens to them.
@@nihilism6226 umm dude i think you didn't understand what i wanted to say, i wanted to say when i see karen now i dont laugh or im mad i feel sad for them becouse something had to trigger their behavior in the past, btw all those simping memes should go away, today you cant even ask a girl to a date and you Will be called a simp i mean wth smh
Only console players This has nothing to do with Karens. Karens are entitled women who attempt to establish dominance because they have ALL their lives. It’s mean girl syndrome but casted on the entire world.
@@joewill9967 well i dont agree but you dont care so dont i
@@nihilism6226 not sure how being rejected for being short can be compared to rape but ok dude. don think you know what simping is
This was an amazing video and it should be placed front and center on all social platforms.
I've also noticed that women who grow up incredibly spoiled end up just as abusive as women abused as children. Both extremes can have the same result.
As someone who was almost abused to the point of death, molested and chocked every week by my brother. I can tell you 100% that my brother and I loved the same childhood, went to the same school, had the same friends. He was only 2 years older than me, but he knew he wanted to water torture me. He knew he wanted to see me in pain. This was not a learned thing he started because of a traumatic event, this was a situation where he didn’t develop emotional feelings until he was 16 and even admitted to this fact. Some people lack emotions and only posses anger and they take it out on victims. So yes, a lot of times abusers abuse because of something, but not ALL the time. Also, it is harder to be in a relationship with an abuse victim, yes, but most abuse victims live normal lives happily and go through their day just like anyone else would. It used to terrify me to have to one day tell a boyfriend what happened to me, I was afraid they’d see me as damaged goods. But you know? I never did anything horrible to him like you suggested, the only thing from my abuse that I struggle with in the relationship is having him understand why I’m scared to walk alone in certain areas or why certain things like yelling make me feel like I’m going to be strangled. These things are MY problem, and most abuse victims don’t want someone else to fix these problems for them because you can’t. But to say to stay away from abuse victims is just cruel in my opinion.
yeah. My sister and I went through very similar circumstances because our "mother" got money from gov't and an enabling family member so she has done nothing but drugs her entire life, and left us kids to go through multiple foster "care" homes, childrens homes, and sorting through all the physical abuse and abandonment for me personally has been a lifelong journey. My sister on the other hand made a lot of the same poor choices as the mother and well... the results are predictable. Funny enough, I was lucky to have some strong mentors later in life and was able to make GOOD choices and now I do what I can to help others, but sadly, I'm often ignored because people these days do not want to hear the Truth, they do not want to change, because being a permanent victim is now somehow "empowering" and now abusing others is "okay" or we're not allowed to even discuss it. As I've grown older I understand why talk therapy today is a complete joke because therapists DO NOT CHALLENGE clients anymore. They just want that co-pay and insurance payout at $230 per hour 60-40 split if you're lucky enough to even have health coverage for talk therapy. Meanwhile for me, it's been interesting to see people ACT like they're "victims" when really, they've had mostly spoon fed easy peasy lives compared to the cards I was delt, but I'm not out protesting, doing stupid crap or running a Mr. Self Destruct covert program while taking out my anger on the rest of the world. You eventually find peace, but you have to be at a point in life where YOU want change. Sadly many do not, because, as the video rightly states, you DO have to be willing to engage with and confront the pain from the past. For many it's scary or they're too selfish or both, and in selfish, I mean, they do not want to take RESPONSIBILITY to heal. Yes, it's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to heal. Not Trumps, not the police, not the gov't, not the school teachers, it's YOUR JOB TO SORT OUR YOUR ISSUES!!!!!!!!! So... I could go on, but I just have less and less empathy for people in all honesty. We just have too many that just want to mask reality with emotions and put up barriers to growth, then when you call them out on it you have 45mins to an hour of your day wasted in some moral relativism/quicksand philosophical like talk where in the end, they've solidified n their mind that they somehow truly believe that being a victim is "empowering" and they'll take that ___t to the grave. It would just be nice if we all didn't have to pay higher and higher taxes because of the normalization of abuse and the subsequent governmental fiscal choices made because of it. I also have thought about how corporations want compliant individuals whom will take abuse and thus explains a lot of the foundations of k-12 and the university system that teaches more about compliance and conformity than it does about creativity, being a risk taker, and carving ones own path.
I think giving the entitlement and openly spoiling the daughters over the sons could have some massive effect over their broken personalities
Some days I welcome the Reset, it's gonna happen anyway whether top down or bottom up, who ever survives if good or bad kinda deserves it.
@@John_Smith100 I genuinely desire an exterrestrial invasion or integration
That too, they are entitled and narcissistic
I wish I was “spoiled” more. Maybe I wouldn’t have so many issues w men
@@shadmahuda you may have taken a wrong turn. Where possible, make a u-turn.
That video actually made me understand myself more than understand others. Thanks a lot!
Thank you for reposting this video, I was wondering why it was removed, but I’m glad you made the necessary changes to put it back up.
I feel like a lot of snooty people who judge people to be scum because they have tattoos need to watch this, so they can attain compassion for them instead. Once they have that compassion, this video also explained the right way of helping to not enable them, but be supporting. Not giving them what they want, but what they NEED. Thank you, great video, as always!
The thought provoking nature of this video is mind blowing
This woman went through absolute hell and back. You can hear her trying to maintain the strength in her voice.
Your videos sir are a gift, your insightful, passionate, and empathetic take is exactly what the internet is made for....Thank you
If you're a Mom your 1 job is to protect your child? I can't believe there are mothers out here not taking care of their children