My girlfriend asked what I wanted for Christmas and I told her I want us to go to an orthodox service. I have been reading books about orthodoxy, after being an atheist for a long time and found a restored faith in Jesus. I'm tired of feeling spirituality empty inside and am ready to begin shedding my vices that are keeping me down. I hope that we both feel the Holy Spirit.
Prayers for you brother. I have faith she will convert as Im sure a Muslim woman alone is near unheard of in Islam. If she will stay with you, she will convert eventually. Prayers 🙏
What a great topic to cover! I was once in this predicament. My husband had our family in a protestant church for a few years, even though I was studying orthodoxy, watching livestreams, doing morning/evening prayers, creating an icon corner, etc. I would share what I was learning, I would send videos by Fr. Heers and many others. I felt so impatient to get into the Church. I felt frustration with my husband. Then I realized, when I started a class at my parish, that I needed to chill out and maybe God was humbling me, and showing me my struggle with Pride, impatience, even envy. I envied others for having their family in the church, for becoming converts! I pray for my husband and my children and do my best to follow the teachings of Orthodoxy, and be connected to my parish as I'm able to. Be an example to your spouse/household. Have forebearance and peace about it. Don't let it create discord in your home. My husband left that Prot church months ago and has become more involved with me in Orthodoxy. Trust God. Pray.
My sons (in their 20s) and myself converted to Orthodoxy. My wife initially was vehemently opposed. She said that she would not attend our chrismations. But now, after a few years, has become more accepting (for example, helping us to follow the fasting calendar even though she does not). My recommendation is for you to pray for your husband and keep your marriage intact. What better way for us to witness our faith?
My husband is currently raging at me- including his opinion that I'm spending too much time away from home, at my local monastery. He will not come to service and can be disparaging about this path. I try not to despair but he can be awfully cruel. I will keep praying for him but don't think I can do this much longer. God willing, his heart will soften and open up. Hurt people hurt.
It took awhile but my husband finally accepted me going to Liturgy on Sunday morning but if I try to take it any further he starts threatening me with divorce. I’d love to attend the nighttime catechumen classes and spend more time being involved with the church but he says that’s taking it too far. So I’m sorta stuck in place.
Don't call him cruel. Try not to even think it. Your judgement is dangerous. Read St Paisios "Family Life". And "Our thoughts determined our lives" by Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica. Both are free audio books here on TH-cam. Prayers sister.
Also, for what it's worth it took me about 3 years of being Orthodox before I realized what a self-righteous hurtful person I was to all the people I looked down on for being morally or religiously less than me. We are naturally exceedingly blind to our own cruelty. In the first glowing zeal of conversion, it's easy to feel like other people have no cause to be upset at us for our beautiful faith, and to do great harm to others -- emotional and spiritual. We think there's no way we did anything to deserve their anger, and it's just their evilness at our piety that makes them upset. But actually sometimes there's a lot that we haven't even realized about ourselves.... we can be really awful to other people without even realizing it. A few years of Orthodoxy will take this away, priests in confession are very very good for showing us our own sins, so I strongly urge you not to burn your bridges now before you might not yet be able to fully see yourself. If you are new to Orthodoxy, it might take a few years before you start to really see yourself clearly. Then other people's behavior makes more sense, even if it is wrong. We can drive people from the truth with our own sins, and some of the biggest ones are pride and self-righteousness.
My phone isn't allowing me to respond to individual comments. I am not a good wife, in spite of my best efforts. The frustration is that I give him space and don't share what I learn as a catechumin- only that he can come whenever he is ready. I go to the monastery 3 times a week, so it's understandable that he should react to many hours of being absent. But I come back to cook, clean, and tend to the animals. I have never experienced verbal abuse like this and don't know what to do about it. I do thank God for the challenges, as I'm learning so much through these situations. It has been a couple hrs since my post. After doing my chores I feel better and don't think it was great to react and air my laundry on this platform. I just couldn't help it. That's why it's worth saying, again and again, "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner".
I'm in a similar situation with my wife, but I think my wife is watching closely and looking to see if this is a phase, or if it is truly what I say it is to me. She told me she doesn't want to commit to conversion because she doesn't want to fake it, which I understand. She is still in agreement with the idea of baptizing our daughter, so I do have hope she will join fully with me and our family.
I hesitated for the same reason when me and my (now) husband were dating. We were both Protestant at the time, and I was worried that he was just going through a phase, and as much as I didn't want to convert at the time, I really didn't want to convert and then de-convert later. Give her a few years and she will see that it's real and she'll most probably join you.
I’m now a catechuman and Christ saved me from myself. In Christ I’m free but when turning away it’s pride. My soon to be wife is lutheran but not really devout Christian, she believes there’s God and in Jesus but doesn’t take intrest to read the Gospels etc. So not that kind of belief to get to in relationship with Jesus Christ. And I’ve been horrible because my stubborness to trying to teach/apology/preach etc… I’ve been trying to take control and not Christ do His work. And I thank my fiancee that she said many times enough, and my passion for Christ and His Church it just love so obviously I speak about it but It’s not good for her. I need to ve quiet about Gospels and Saints. And just do prayers and thank God that she does want sometimes to come Church with me. And she does let me to take our little boy(1year old) to divine liturgy❤ God sees my dumb brain and my personality, And He does guide when I’m obedient to Him☦️❤
Every widely accepted Orthodox prayer book I have been exposed to includes Psalm 50 from the Holy Scriptures that states "I shall teach tansgressors Thy ways, and the ungodly shall turn back unto thee." From reading the lives of the saints and from my own lived experience, without teaching, it it most difficult for the ungodly to turn the truth. I'm most thankful to those who have brought me out of error through their teaching, repentance, humility, truth, and love.
This would seem to contradict what Father Peter just said about not becoming a teacher, but as I think about it, I read Psalm 50 daily, how can I read aloud the Psalm as my own prayer, "I shall teach transgressors Thy ways", and resolve in in my mind to not become a teacher? It would seem the Patristic Saintly example was to teach us, is it not then for us to follow the example and also teach? Maybe Father Peter can qualify those statements. In my own personal experience, specially in the beginning, it was me teaching that brought my family members into orthodoxy. They were already extremely devout with very developed daily prayer lives, daily scripture readings, repentance, loving the poor and needy, really living transformed lives. It was out of ignorance that they did not know about Orthodoxy as that is not the Christianity they were presented with. It was knowledge of orthodoxy that then lead to the direct experience of it.
My spouse is very emotional and opposed to going to Orthodoxy because she sees it as an option as a Christian and that protestantism is more accurate. It's been very difficult, especially because our finaces are very tight + health issues. We've been fighting on and off about Orthodoxy... Trying to be patient and not fall into arguments.
I'm becoming Orthodox, and my wife is unfortunately entirely obstinate about it. And I have, also unfortunately, become a bit of a bully, a preacher, _and_ a teacher during disagreements in recent months. Say a prayer for me. Lord have mercy.
Mate !!! Live it in order to give it. Preach the Gospel and use words if you have to !!! As a man, make her the Queen. Try and do her will before yours.
I saw you also had this question once: what do you do if BOTH of you are Orthodox but one person doesn't really want to attend services, or fast, or basically practice the faith? Would the answer be the same?
Usually it’s normal in Slavic Orthodox Countries that women go to church and men don’t, usually. Culturally it seems like it’s the woman of the family who prays for everyone etc So it’s normal even if he won’t ever go to church or be orthodox , the woman can pray for him and never push him too much Since she is married her first duty is to keep the family together, she is not a nun If she is new to orthodoxy maybe the husband will follow her in the future, she has to be patient cause she is new herself
I guess my confusion stems from constantly hearing we should follow the Saints, we should follow the scriptures and they teach us to teach, but when it comes to teaching I generally hear don't teach. Not just from Father Peter but also from other priests. To teach or not to teach? Follow the Saints except when it comes to teaching? I ask this not out of a desire to debate or argue but this seems rather contradictory? I'm sure it's my human weakness that causes the confusion. Maybe there's more percise language that can be used? Isn't teaching by example, teaching by loving, teaching by repenting, teaching by humility, still under the umbrella of teaching? But becoming a teacher is not good? I need help understanding this.
@@johnnyd2383no, it wasn’t. Don’t rush and wait, in the meantime grow closer to Jesus does not answer the question. Just don’t rush and wait….until when? What if her husband never converts? Is she never to get baptized and partake of the Eucharist while she waits for something that may never happen? How long is too long? Is she not disobeying God by not getting baptized into the church and taking the Eucharist? This is important to me because I’m in the same situation. My husband is a staunch reformed Baptist with zero interest in Orthodoxy. I’ve been living like an Orthodox for about a year. I want to be baptized.
@@mariebo7491I went through this very thing. After 3 years of me practicing Orthodoxy, my husband finally left his protestant church and wanted to join me at the parish I was involved in. Albeit online. I realized and was faced with the fact that I was having a problem with pride and envy. God uses these situations to reflect our personal state and struggles and we often point to our spouse and think they're the issue when that's not always true. Pray for him. Be loving and sprinkle in theology talks or share information with him. Have patience. God's plans don't go by our timetable. Bless you, sister! ❤
Leave your Husband and Follow Jesus Trust in God live with the Lord If your husband doesn't like Orthodoxy which means the "True Path" Let him continue to seek the Lord and may God bless him and guide him to the right Path. In Marriage both the men and the woman has to have One Faith ✝️
Dude, are you even Orthodox or are you one of those Protestant groups it's always pushing divorce with every one who isn't in there very specific sect of forty people...
My girlfriend asked what I wanted for Christmas and I told her I want us to go to an orthodox service. I have been reading books about orthodoxy, after being an atheist for a long time and found a restored faith in Jesus. I'm tired of feeling spirituality empty inside and am ready to begin shedding my vices that are keeping me down. I hope that we both feel the Holy Spirit.
Praying for your patience and wisdom. Take your time and settle your roots deep. Welcome to the family
I'm new to Orthodoxy. My wife is a muslim but she wants to go to church with me too. Prayers are very much appreciated.
Prayers for you brother. I have faith she will convert as Im sure a Muslim woman alone is near unheard of in Islam. If she will stay with you, she will convert eventually. Prayers 🙏
Prayers.
🙏🙏🙏🙏
What a great topic to cover! I was once in this predicament. My husband had our family in a protestant church for a few years, even though I was studying orthodoxy, watching livestreams, doing morning/evening prayers, creating an icon corner, etc. I would share what I was learning, I would send videos by Fr. Heers and many others. I felt so impatient to get into the Church. I felt frustration with my husband. Then I realized, when I started a class at my parish, that I needed to chill out and maybe God was humbling me, and showing me my struggle with Pride, impatience, even envy. I envied others for having their family in the church, for becoming converts! I pray for my husband and my children and do my best to follow the teachings of Orthodoxy, and be connected to my parish as I'm able to. Be an example to your spouse/household. Have forebearance and peace about it. Don't let it create discord in your home. My husband left that Prot church months ago and has become more involved with me in Orthodoxy. Trust God. Pray.
My sons (in their 20s) and myself converted to Orthodoxy. My wife initially was vehemently opposed. She said that she would not attend our chrismations. But now, after a few years, has become more accepting (for example, helping us to follow the fasting calendar even though she does not). My recommendation is for you to pray for your husband and keep your marriage intact. What better way for us to witness our faith?
As Saint Paisios the Athonite said, when the words don't reach the ears, ''zip it and let the knees do the talking''
My husband is currently raging at me- including his opinion that I'm spending too much time away from home, at my local monastery. He will not come to service and can be disparaging about this path. I try not to despair but he can be awfully cruel. I will keep praying for him but don't think I can do this much longer. God willing, his heart will soften and open up. Hurt people hurt.
It took awhile but my husband finally accepted me going to Liturgy on Sunday morning but if I try to take it any further he starts threatening me with divorce. I’d love to attend the nighttime catechumen classes and spend more time being involved with the church but he says that’s taking it too far. So I’m sorta stuck in place.
Don't call him cruel. Try not to even think it. Your judgement is dangerous. Read St Paisios "Family Life". And "Our thoughts determined our lives" by Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica. Both are free audio books here on TH-cam. Prayers sister.
PLEASE speak to your priest sister. This is very serious. He can tell you how to tread and be your guide through Christ
Also, for what it's worth it took me about 3 years of being Orthodox before I realized what a self-righteous hurtful person I was to all the people I looked down on for being morally or religiously less than me. We are naturally exceedingly blind to our own cruelty. In the first glowing zeal of conversion, it's easy to feel like other people have no cause to be upset at us for our beautiful faith, and to do great harm to others -- emotional and spiritual. We think there's no way we did anything to deserve their anger, and it's just their evilness at our piety that makes them upset. But actually sometimes there's a lot that we haven't even realized about ourselves.... we can be really awful to other people without even realizing it. A few years of Orthodoxy will take this away, priests in confession are very very good for showing us our own sins, so I strongly urge you not to burn your bridges now before you might not yet be able to fully see yourself. If you are new to Orthodoxy, it might take a few years before you start to really see yourself clearly. Then other people's behavior makes more sense, even if it is wrong. We can drive people from the truth with our own sins, and some of the biggest ones are pride and self-righteousness.
My phone isn't allowing me to respond to individual comments. I am not a good wife, in spite of my best efforts. The frustration is that I give him space and don't share what I learn as a catechumin- only that he can come whenever he is ready. I go to the monastery 3 times a week, so it's understandable that he should react to many hours of being absent. But I come back to cook, clean, and tend to the animals. I have never experienced verbal abuse like this and don't know what to do about it. I do thank God for the challenges, as I'm learning so much through these situations. It has been a couple hrs since my post. After doing my chores I feel better and don't think it was great to react and air my laundry on this platform. I just couldn't help it. That's why it's worth saying, again and again, "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me a sinner".
I'm in a similar situation with my wife, but I think my wife is watching closely and looking to see if this is a phase, or if it is truly what I say it is to me.
She told me she doesn't want to commit to conversion because she doesn't want to fake it, which I understand.
She is still in agreement with the idea of baptizing our daughter, so I do have hope she will join fully with me and our family.
I hesitated for the same reason when me and my (now) husband were dating. We were both Protestant at the time, and I was worried that he was just going through a phase, and as much as I didn't want to convert at the time, I really didn't want to convert and then de-convert later. Give her a few years and she will see that it's real and she'll most probably join you.
I’m now a catechuman and Christ saved me from myself. In Christ I’m free but when turning away it’s pride. My soon to be wife is lutheran but not really devout Christian, she believes there’s God and in Jesus but doesn’t take intrest to read the Gospels etc. So not that kind of belief to get to in relationship with Jesus Christ. And I’ve been horrible because my stubborness to trying to teach/apology/preach etc… I’ve been trying to take control and not Christ do His work. And I thank my fiancee that she said many times enough, and my passion for Christ and His Church it just love so obviously I speak about it but It’s not good for her. I need to ve quiet about Gospels and Saints. And just do prayers and thank God that she does want sometimes to come Church with me. And she does let me to take our little boy(1year old) to divine liturgy❤ God sees my dumb brain and my personality, And He does guide when I’m obedient to Him☦️❤
Thanks!
Lead you husband by your example... with kindness, humility, obedience and meekness.
Precisely.
Every widely accepted Orthodox prayer book I have been exposed to includes Psalm 50 from the Holy Scriptures that states "I shall teach tansgressors Thy ways, and the ungodly shall turn back unto thee." From reading the lives of the saints and from my own lived experience, without teaching, it it most difficult for the ungodly to turn the truth. I'm most thankful to those who have brought me out of error through their teaching, repentance, humility, truth, and love.
This would seem to contradict what Father Peter just said about not becoming a teacher, but as I think about it, I read Psalm 50 daily, how can I read aloud the Psalm as my own prayer, "I shall teach transgressors Thy ways", and resolve in in my mind to not become a teacher? It would seem the Patristic Saintly example was to teach us, is it not then for us to follow the example and also teach? Maybe Father Peter can qualify those statements. In my own personal experience, specially in the beginning, it was me teaching that brought my family members into orthodoxy. They were already extremely devout with very developed daily prayer lives, daily scripture readings, repentance, loving the poor and needy, really living transformed lives. It was out of ignorance that they did not know about Orthodoxy as that is not the Christianity they were presented with. It was knowledge of orthodoxy that then lead to the direct experience of it.
Thank you, Father!
Thank you Father.
These Saints might be helpful for inspiration and intercession: St. Nona, St. Juliana of Lazarevo, and St. Xenia of St. Petersburg.
My spouse is very emotional and opposed to going to Orthodoxy because she sees it as an option as a Christian and that protestantism is more accurate.
It's been very difficult, especially because our finaces are very tight + health issues. We've been fighting on and off about Orthodoxy... Trying to be patient and not fall into arguments.
But how is Protestantism more accurate when it's subjective?
Prayer changes people and situations.
I'm becoming Orthodox, and my wife is unfortunately entirely obstinate about it. And I have, also unfortunately, become a bit of a bully, a preacher, _and_ a teacher during disagreements in recent months. Say a prayer for me. Lord have mercy.
Mate !!! Live it in order to give it.
Preach the Gospel and use words if you have to !!!
As a man, make her the Queen.
Try and do her will before yours.
My wife isnt interested but I dont talk ab it unless she asks. Thats the best policy I think. I will occasionally offer her to come w me
Many of us in similar situations. Pray for the Lords mercy on me as well that I'm not just "trying to be right" on this journey
I saw you also had this question once: what do you do if BOTH of you are Orthodox but one person doesn't really want to attend services, or fast, or basically practice the faith? Would the answer be the same?
"Be still, and know that I am God"
Usually it’s normal in Slavic Orthodox Countries that women go to church and men don’t, usually. Culturally it seems like it’s the woman of the family who prays for everyone etc
So it’s normal even if he won’t ever go to church or be orthodox , the woman can pray for him and never push him too much
Since she is married her first duty is to keep the family together, she is not a nun
If she is new to orthodoxy maybe the husband will follow her in the future, she has to be patient cause she is new herself
In Orthodoxy, men are expected to go to church like women do. Culture doesn't matter, it's just laziness.
I don’t understand why people date outside their religion, and choose complain about it🤷🏽♀️
💜💚🧡💚💙💜🤎
I guess my confusion stems from constantly hearing we should follow the Saints, we should follow the scriptures and they teach us to teach, but when it comes to teaching I generally hear don't teach. Not just from Father Peter but also from other priests. To teach or not to teach? Follow the Saints except when it comes to teaching? I ask this not out of a desire to debate or argue but this seems rather contradictory? I'm sure it's my human weakness that causes the confusion. Maybe there's more percise language that can be used? Isn't teaching by example, teaching by loving, teaching by repenting, teaching by humility, still under the umbrella of teaching? But becoming a teacher is not good? I need help understanding this.
So as a parent it would be “doing, not teaching”
Ok…..so what if he never converts?…Is she to remain a catechumen and never participate in the sacraments?? Wouldn’t she be disobeying God??
At 4:00 that question has been answered.
@@johnnyd2383no, it wasn’t. Don’t rush and wait, in the meantime grow closer to Jesus does not answer the question. Just don’t rush and wait….until when? What if her husband never converts? Is she never to get baptized and partake of the Eucharist while she waits for something that may never happen? How long is too long? Is she not disobeying God by not getting baptized into the church and taking the Eucharist? This is important to me because I’m in the same situation. My husband is a staunch reformed Baptist with zero interest in Orthodoxy. I’ve been living like an Orthodox for about a year. I want to be baptized.
@@mariebo7491I went through this very thing. After 3 years of me practicing Orthodoxy, my husband finally left his protestant church and wanted to join me at the parish I was involved in. Albeit online. I realized and was faced with the fact that I was having a problem with pride and envy. God uses these situations to reflect our personal state and struggles and we often point to our spouse and think they're the issue when that's not always true. Pray for him. Be loving and sprinkle in theology talks or share information with him. Have patience. God's plans don't go by our timetable. Bless you, sister! ❤
Leave your Husband and Follow Jesus Trust in God live with the Lord
If your husband doesn't like Orthodoxy which means the "True Path"
Let him continue to seek the Lord and may God bless him and guide him to the right Path.
In Marriage both the men and the woman has to have One Faith ✝️
Dude, are you even Orthodox or are you one of those Protestant groups it's always pushing divorce with every one who isn't in there very specific sect of forty people...
That is horrible advice.
Lord have mercy. Poor advice.