A person like that, with psychopathy, who goes out of his way to pause, and think, and do the right thing - that is so noble, and praiseworthy; the emotional and neurochemical reward system isn't there, but they are consciously choosing to make the right choice.
Exactly, and it is much better for the rest of us if a psychopath finds a good reason to do the right thing, instead of becoming successful by exploiting people.
This would mean that psychopaths who commit violent crimes are just bad people, but it's really not as simple as that. These things fall on a spectrum. James Fallon is further along that spectrum than the average person meaning he doesn't feel empathy and guilt to the same extent but he does feel it. There are individuals who are at the complete extreme end of the spectrum and don't even know what empathy or guilt feel like. Fallon does the right thing at least in part because he still can. However, the environment you were raised in plays a big role in shaping your behavior. Raise someone with mild psychopathy in an abusive household with neglectful parents and you might get a serial killer. Raise someone with mild psychopathy in a loving environment with caring parents and you might get a successful neuroscientist.
Lol sorry to burst your bubble Alorand but as if there's the slightest chance he actually gives a fuck about doing the right thing. I know plenty of people who I thought were great people with big hearts who did horrible things and were assholes, who weren't psychopaths, I think I'd have to give myself a lobotomy to believe a psychopath would take the noble path. Why would they???
"If you're treating me well, it means you're trying. That's all that matters" Regardless of the level of psycopathy of a person, I think it's important to remind ourselves that we are often mentally exhausted (from work, social interactions, etc.), and it can be difficult to be genuine and empathetic at all time. We remind ourselves of this, so that we can make conscious choice to treat people well, instead of relying purely on our emotional drive to do so. Treating people well, doesn't have to come from the heart.
Psychopaths are not normal. Let us not put them in the same box. They need more personal work + counselling with a psychologist. Psychopaths can be smart & charming like this guy on video but he thinks of revenge ( last even in years ) + disregard of rules If a psychopath adapts a " just let it go" chill attitude towards things & not have revenge = great personal work on himself, shifting to normal guy category. That change is not easy. We have to be resposible & accountable with OUR OWN ACTIONS Whatever environment we have.
Clinical psychologists classify them as, depending on having " psychopathic trait" ( this person has not satisfied more categories) Another category is having anti social personality disorder if they satisfy the characteristics of that disorder ( not normal, personality disorder) Also another list is the psychopathy list. If a person evaluated has more check on that psychopath list, then that person is diagnosed by the professional clinician as psychopath. Eithet way, these people all need psychological counselling on the point of view of a professional. By brain structure, according to research, the frontal side of the brain of a diagnosed psychopath IS SMALLER than the normal range. Yes. It is not normal by anatomy.
@@vivianalter7688 pls go to youtubes about psychopaths and their brains. It is already documented by clinical psychologists. For many yrs now. Self awareness + personal work is done by a patient with the help of these clinical professionals towards the path of psychological healing
This man is the quintessential high-functioning individual with Antisocial Personality d/o/Psychopathy. The beauty of this is that the man understands his impairment (emotional empathy) and is able to operationalize growth within his area of deficit such that he can *function* (I can't stress the significance of that) along with others effectively.
I didn't know about emotional empathy until as of late. I was deeply disturbed to find out I have zero emotional empathy. I try to be a good person and mostly am. This video makes me feel some relief. I wonder how many good people out there who have no empathy.
@NoName1 I am the same way. I have no empathy, very low emotions (almost non existant) and no guilt/remorse. As far as getting mad, I am the same as the guy in this video. However I was raised with morals/ethics. Never had/kept any friends, however I have tons of business acquaintances, which doesn't bother me whatsoever because I enjoy being alone. But I am in a long term relationship, it takes work on my part.
Yeah-a lot of people could say the same-among other things.... Methinks the percentage of how many psychopaths exist is greatly underestimated. Either that, or I've met more than my fair share.
kokofan50 Yeah-I've met enough. Half the people I meet have too many of the "fun-loving" traits mentioned here. Wait long enough and you'll see it all around you.... o.O I often wonder how many of that 3% are teachers, police, doctors, lawyers, judges, politicians, lobbyists, corporate executives, .... O.O I'm just locking my door and staying on the internet-where all of the *normal* crazy people are. Yeah. 8D
It doesn't matter what your motive is, as long as you're treating people better that's all that matters because it means you're trying. That was my favourite part of this! It's SUCH a relieving thing to be reminded of!
@@ronniesal7436 There is a sense to it even in the opposite end of the spectrum. If you didn't learn how to care for yourself, value your time then you just put boundaries to others and respect yourself a bit, it will definitely get better. It's meant for people struggling in either end of this problem.
Starting around 5:34, listen to how he casually switches between moral culpability (having had done something) and legal culpability (having been caught for something). Classic. It's almost amazing that he didn't realize this about himself sooner.
This was utterly fascinating to me...the introspection, the bravery of delvng into oneself...and with genuine curosity and deepend self-knowledge...Damn I wish more humans approached THEMSELVES with this kind of seeking, compassion and desire to improve themselves through looking at their darkest parts.
@@MaDrung Every act is selfish. Even completely altruistic acts are selfish in that they serve to ease the distress WE feel due to the suffering of others. There is no unselfish act.
Being calm, decisive and pretending to be respectful is the best way to talk to police officers. You don't ever have to acknowledge whatever law was being broken as long as you circumvent the topic, insert appropriate complements ("you're just doing your job and I think you're doing it well") and play with the feelings solicited by it ("I have immense respect for what you do") and posture yourself with one foot to the side as if you're getting ready to walk away, keep looking at your watch (to show your time is being wasted) and then thank them for intervening when they let you go. Rinse and repeat.
Law enforcement, the ones that see a lot if action, know when they are being played. It is funny to watch the person being so obvious thinking they are really talking their way out of it! LE is thinking all along, "Asshole".
His coinage of "Family Stockholm Syndrome", is really great. There are some really wonderful Speakers/writers about the idea the Psycopaths are a part of of population, and aren't just the demonized Serial Killers - those individuals fall onto the spectrum of Psycopathy. It has been an eye-opener to listen and read this leading understanding.
You should become part of the family of one of them. It would be lovely that people who speak without knowing would actually experience first hand psychopatic abuse! I wonder if they would feel as charmed for psychopaths afterwards!
I guess the ultimate narcissist challenge is telling the world everything and still get away with shit. Such a compliment to self. Shove it in their face and play ball from that position. Everyone's bamboozled - they can't believe it or make sense of it.
Keepin Privatee You know - I remember the first talk he gave. He came off as just a regular guy who accidentally happened to notice he had the brain profile of psychopath. Just another normal life, made possible by good circumstance against biological odds. Kind of interesting, kind of dramatically ironic. Then as the story is retold what gradually comes out is how he's been in trouble with the law, how people around him, and mental health professionals already considered his behaviour kinda psychopathic - and told him. Apperently all this is supposed to have never really registered with him until a brain scan occurs that he could not run away from. What to do in his position? A reasonably high level researcher? Play ball of course. Now he is a new man with a new insight, sorta redeemed, sorta scientifically interesting, one who never noticed how self serving he is until he saw his brain on paper. Really? I mean ... really? With a bit of a twist his story becomes a tale to sell and not a record of a manipulative life. Cos, like, redemption.
+whynottalklikeapirat, what is he doing now is giving him ultimate satisfaction, the life goal of a narcissist is to gain your attention positive or negative it doesn't matter.. and through this all 'coming out thing' he is getting it a fair chunk.. He is literally wining at this game..
I'm highly anxious, and in a way, I'm jealous of psychopaths. I wish I didn't give a fuck, but I'm glad I don't hurt people...but goddamn do I hate anxiety.
Really liked the home stretch of this talk. I think this makes him stand out as a good example amongst people with a substantial degree of psychopathy.
@@LomstatWoolf I wish I was because I don't fit in my own brain. Beyond the most psychopathic prosocial psychopath brain I consider the non-psychopath brain as *garbage* It's true btw. Psychopaths have a collection of alleles.
@Ethan Tran They do shoot-outs not because of Psychopathy, because of Sociopathy and traumas that they had in the school. Psychopaths do not show emotions which includes anger, fear or anxiety. They feel the rage but It only lasts 5 seconds. They are more like a snake type, they don't make plans based on their emotions. Those are the sociopaths who do shoot-outs and mass-shootings. Psychopathy is different, it's something that you born with it, Sociopathy is something that a person can develop it and child-hood traumas cause the Sociopathy. But in a simple way, Psychopaths are born, sociopaths are made. A Sociopath can have emotions but they don't care. Psychopaths do not have emotions because they are lack of empathy, remorse and other basic emotions. They are pure evil.
It's so weird because I relate so much to everything he is saying, and also everything he has said in other videos, it makes me want to get a PET scan myself.
He could very well just have dry lips. Lexus Fox here doesn't have anything tangible to suggest that Fallon has OCD or anxiety. But that's TH-cam, right? A sea of self-appointed experts with limited knowledge over the subject in question.
+TNBBravo IceCobalt Yeah, he described himself in another video as what he called a " pro social psychopath " and he went on to say how this form of psychopathy benefits people in high stress, high performance professions, such as brain surgeon, or search and rescue pilot.
Most people called psychopaths have antisocial personality disorder. Most psychiatrists don't ever use term psychopath diagnostically. Complete psychopaths are actually very rare. An example of a complete psychopath with literally almost no emotions or feelings is Napoleon Bonaparte or Shoko Asahara. Most people with antisocial personality disorder are like deliberately violent gangsters or an abusive boss.
Well, the problem is that someone like him could very well have ended up as a vicious serial killer had he been raised in a different environment. And even as he is he's kind of a dick without even realizing it. So if there was some way to treat/prevent this sort of thing(such as genetic manipulation) I think it's important to do so. A world without psychopaths would certainly be a safer and probably friendlier place.
yo pienso que el ser mental nace neutro y que la mente puede cambiar de pendiendo de los principios de lo que uno cree que es lo mas importante y que hace funcionar el mundo o la humanidad. sociopatia y la psicopatia es un muy sercano inverso del estado mental sobre el bien su opoesto vendria ser dalailama =P o algo asi..!!
Wow. Thank you for sharing your personal story. I'm in my 20s but this has really made me think about my loved ones' (and my) behaviour. Fascinating video.
"Naive" is a word you should look up in the dictionary! I highly encourage you to do so! And may whichever God protect you from ever crossing roads with someone like him. They would eat you alive (not literally) but after dealing with someone like him you would actually end up wishing he would have actually ate you alive. It is a lot less cruel to what they do to their victims!
Sorryscene His discussion encases the perspective essence of psychopaths so well that it's convincing that he is one. Especially on the end where he tries to do good.
Olly Chamberlain I watched him a couple times, the first time I thought, "oh he's a decent guy". Next time I was like, "actually he's a bit shifty," than third time I was like "holy shit this guy is fucking dangerous. He is so good at miming and manipulating but in his core, it's all about that revenge thing and putting himself first. Goodness gracious, he's probably done so many fucked up things to people and manipulate countless others.... You never really know if you did something to be put on his list, he will never tell you, and with his intelligence and social skills, man he can fuck with you....guy is so dangerous and unpredictable.
Mike Shoults I’m not saying I’m a psychopath bc I’m not diagnosed but I know for a fact I wouldn’t answer the questions a psychologist or whatever would ask bc I’m not risking that shit being on my record. But what you said is 💯 . I don’t tell people they’re on my list - friends,family, etc. Robert Greene talked about the serpent with the long memory and it speaks for itself. Wait however long it takes and when the moment is presented strike like lighting
You should win an award for intellectual honesty. You're a good person, not because of the way you were born or the way your mind works. But because you are honest with yourself and others and you CHOOSE to do the good thing.
Thats a borderline joke. Borderline is the worst mental disease to have and trust me bpd is anything but boring, dude probably frequents hospital so often he knows everyone by first name basis. Lol
The idea that people can be a psychopath and live fine with others appeals to me, and at least it is far more compassionate and rational alternative than any Mad Scare. To me, I take this video as a message that people will try to create a society which everyone's differences(even like how extreme and notorious in the case of psychopaths) can be considered and allowed by itself, and evaluated only by consequences, not the trait.
Dear Mr Fallon, thank you for taking the courage to explain and show us your example. I wish many of the people that have the same symptoms could learn from you. All the best!
Thank you for your courage (or whatever the driving factor may be) that has allowed you to share and bare yourself in this way. Infinitely helpful to get a better understanding of others. So much gratitude, thank you!
really cool take on sociopathy. I especially enjoyed the ending where "it doesn't matter why you do it, it only matters if your doing it". Maybe because i was thaught that the "why" is the most important question.
I agree with whoever thaught you that the why is the most important question. Please always ask yourself why someone is doing something for you. Psychopaths never do things for the sake of doing the right thing. Thos guy is not different!
Sociopaths have similarity with psychopaths and also differences Sociopaths are people attracted to power, fame & position. They become ceo or politician or like to work with big bosses. Psychopaths do not like big responsibility or being a ceo or being center of attention Similarity: Both have highly disagreeable personality. Both have disregard for rules. Both hate people who enforces rules on them. Both are charming & smart like this guy. To fit in the society. Sociopaths are not killers. But will "remove people" in their way that blocks their ambition of power. Psychopaths fight people who hurt them in simple or bigger ways. Always intense anger. Either verbal insults or physical violence. Sociopaths & psychopaths even if they are different, are similar. They " confront people" in different ways who irritate them.
That part about revenge reminded me of a friend of mine. The interesting part is that he never really had the power to hurt someone's career or family, but in his mind he did. He would try, maybe do something like lie to the persons girlfriend or write in a complaint at his job, but most people were able to catch on to the bullshit. Afterwords however, he would brag for days about "i ruined his life!".
My jaw dropped at around 13 minutes too. Blew my mind just the same. Universe tilting. The part about being angry too. The thing about it is that I don't "get angry" and grudges don't keep me up at night, I don't write them down but they may as well be written down. It doesn't show, at all, but I never truly forgive. Now things make more sense. I don't experience that "cooling down" part of the process. It's not a fiery burning thing that drives me, it's a cold and arctic kind of anger that doesn't burn itself out. It just kind of sits there until I decide the outcome was satisfactory. With all that being said, I can't possibly be a psychopath. I don't have the qualifications to diagnose myself and if I was I'm pretty sure I'd be better off if no one knew.
Really relatable. One thing that happened and leaves me thinking a lot: An old man on my flight back home had no credit card to pay for a lunch that he wanted, he had cash ($10) but no card. After some thinking I paid it for him and gave him his little lunch (the stewardesses loved it, but I didn't know the monetary worth of the meal) , he was extremely happy and gave me the $10, I resisted of course (because I didn't want his money or I wanted to seem humble(?)) but then took the note. The little lunch box was $5.50, I made a $3.50 gain by being nice and I mostly wonder if that was a subconscious psychopath move to make a little monetary gain and feed my narcissistic needs by impressing the stewardesses or me trying to make a positive impact in someones life and see them smile by plainly no being an asshole for once.
See, if you don't want to take the money because it's not really an important amount to you, just take it anyway and then donate the $10 to a local food bank. Then you look helpful and magnanimous, plus 10 random people get to eat a meal.
I was given 5$ once by a stranger in a fast food restaurant, she said I dropped it and I saw her picking it up from the floor right next to me. I had no doubts bc I tend to lose things like this so I thanked her and put the money into my wallet. Next time when I payed in the same restaurant I noticed that I was charged more by 5$. This kind of silent judging and policing was embarassing on one hand and scary on the other hand since the seller remembered me and decided to be this silent vigilante. Just like this man in the video mentioned that he doesn't say a word but remembers and strikes down later out of the blue. Since then I see people acting like this in a much bigger scale. I can't relate to that, it's crazy af.
@@name5876 I have a hard enough time TRYING to stay mad at people who seriously wrong me, I couldn't imagine holding onto a petty grudge like that for days or months, let alone years. Hell, I couldn't even imagine HAVING a grudge that petty in the first place. Well, I guess that's all the proof I need that *I'm* not a psychopath at the very least.
It took great courage for James Fallon to admit that to potentially millions of people! Even if he looks or feels that he does not care, that is the symptom of his illness! He still has great courage!
I've had many, many long deep discussions about Life, Love, relationships with my psychopath friend. It's a real trip! They aren't 'crazy serial killers' despite what the TV is telling you
Wow! Brave move to take a look at “self” and become more self-aware. Many live and die without ever achieving that level of growth. Congrats to his wife!
Not if you don't give a damn! You only speak from your perspective because you are measuring the psychopath from your values and fears. But psychopaths have no values or fears! So he is not BRAVE. He admits what he is only because he obtains a gain from it!
Thanks for posting this video. It gave me some insight. There is so much controversy over physcopathy vs. Sociopathy that it has been hard for me to fully understand being a physcopath. After listening to your talk, I believe your book will be a great source of information.
This videogame quote really sums it up: “What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?” ~ Paarthurnax This also brings out the question of what is really free will and what's the normality. We love the idea of free will and being free to decide what to do, but when we're genetically wired to be influenced by our emphaty, that means we're born somewhat good natured, of course we can decide to act selfishly and in an evil manner, but this makes me wonder, how many "good" thing we do, just because we function that way and not because we really mean it or we consciously decide to.
What an interesting video! This just puts me into so many thoughts! Big Think, thank you for providing so many food for thought and presenting such interesting subjects.
I've always dealt with the issue differently. I don't have to think of what to do in any situation, I follow a specific personality type. I switch between them, depending on the situation. Basically, I act and think like someone else, aside from emotion, which I simulate. Most of the time, which is why I don't end up in trouble, and why I still maintain relationships, I take on a host personality, much like a butler. I will smile, and laugh on cue. I don't understand the anger bit though. I don't get angry. It's not that I don't show it, I simply don't have it in me. I get the revenge bit, but I don't do it in anger. It's not really revenge, it's more like a warning against future interference. Most of the time, I simply disassociate myself with anyone who might screw with my life. I haven't always been this way, nor do I know why I am now. I used to feel everything so passionately that I couldn't control my urges. I'd get so angry that I'd tear up a room, having constant shouting matches, and got into more than my share of fights. The only emotion I feel now are by intent, and only last as long as I can will them, which at most tends to be about a minute. Sometimes I'd like to get that part of me back. I am not certain it I was better off, or not.
This makes me worried. A lot of the traits mentioned here (not caring, being angry for a long period of time, exacting an appropriate level of revenge) are the kinds of things that I do all the time. Am I a psychopath?
Thank you ever so much for frank honesty. I can relate to some degree. I have to wonder why the mulling over of revenge in response to perceived harm gets a label like psychopathy and mulling over how to reciprocate a perceived act of kindness doesn't get a fancy psychosis name or balance the argument out and highlight the flaw in the way we think about being human.
What I wonder is why psychotic people are seen as devils while psychopaths (unless they kill dozens of people) can get to fool people around faking they are nice and good people and actually get sympathy and admiration!
I bet you are not a psychopath! But he is, and he doesn't care about your support! Not in the sense of needing emotional support (and not from an individual, unless you could make him famous and rich) he only cares that he could fool you and the other thoudands of people he fooled, too!
I can relate to your story, though I've started to be less selfish a lot before you (I've been told from my kiddo days that I cannot be selfish, maybe that's why). The thing is - it will harm you badly. I've been helping my girlfriend to get out of things like sexual harrasement, drugs, no self esteem and lot of others (all of this sitting deeply in her memories of past events, she couldn't handle it). I've changed her, shown the new way, gave her higher ego and taught a lot of useful things. I had to logically think each time to help her (hide my own emotions, what I'm willing for etc.) so I won't hurt her with my psycho-traits. My goal was to help her and I've succeeded. It turned out to be a bad move. I got kicked in the ass in return... Really harshly kicked. That's when 'real me' got into play - I drove her into suicide attempt. Felt joy and sensed the beauty of that event, everything would be even between us. Unluckily it failed. All of the people going rough on those 'nasty psychopats' - fuck off, you're no better. Sometimes psychos are morally greater than you are, you are just to blind to see it.
Yeah right- your too blind to see the truck coming down the road that is your exposure. you were never helping her- you were remaking her how you wanted her to be- your too sick to see it.
I love to help people and have helped more than one person with things like those you mention. But I have no illusion about being selfless. My gratification just happens to be invisible to those I help because it makes ME feel great to see them succeed and know I played a part in them getting to where they are. I agree with deadprivacy : You're not selfless, you just don't have insight enough to see that you're just as self serving as you always were - if in a more constructive way. The danger is that without insight you'll be more vulnerable to relapse into your past behavior patterns.
If someone all emotional acts nicely to people around them, that means they are just in peace with themselves and act nicely by consequence, so it wouldn't be their fault that they are nice. If someone got you mad, but you make the concious decision to not be at war with that person and voluntarily be nice to the person, that means something about your character.
I am diagnosed with ASPD. I love hearing people talk about me. Talk about what I have, I love to learn about myself, about why I am different. Just wanted to say.
"I've had conversations with the police many times but i was able to talk my way out of it and get them to laugh, I've done some fun things". That's our police for ya
Everybody likes a good story. Make people laugh, laugh together and ... I am sure that his crimes were smaller than the laughter. Sure he gets offers from publushers.
“I just had to count on my own narcissism to drive it.” 😂. Perfectly fit for his unique personality! 😅. I love that he can joke about it, because he doesn’t have the psychopathy to extremely harm anyone; at least not to the degree of being a full psychopathic killer. 🙏🏻
I was hurt when a 6 mth friend said twice, l'd hate to have your eyes. I let it go. Two weeks later when she moaned about her horrible figure, and her bad eating habits. She said l don't eat enough.. And l replied, but i've got a good figure so l must be doing something right. The look on her face was priceless. Touche
Incredibly insightful and indeed heroic of James Fallon to share this with the world. The definition of psychopath has changed dramatically in the last few decades but is still both simplistic and lacking. The 40 year old Hare Test upon which these shifts in definition are based has been accepted relatively without question by the scientific community, in spite of the Hare Test (and others like it) being developed from a statistical association only. The Hare Test cannot be applied to individuals because probabilistic implications for individuals yield false positives and false negatives. Consequently, a "borderline" psychopath based on the Hare Test (etc) is in fact a high probability false positive. In a Court of Law requiring a standard of proof beyond reasonable doubt, one must conclude James Fallon is NOT a "psychopath" (borderline or otherwise) because reasonable doubt exists and will always exist for anyone "diagnosed" under the Hare Test. In particular, the subtype "borderline" is a statistical Non sequitur (ie it does not follow), and to derive it the maths must be abused. Psychopathy is extremely difficult to diagnose, more so today because the definition itself has changed. Originally, psychopathy was a term coined to identify persons who committed acts considered "sub-human". There is considerable debate as to whether psychopathy even exists, and yet James Fallon himself would argue that it is a physically identifiable. Yet he omits that the evidence so far is only statistical (circumstantial), and his viewpoint is far from objective as he is himself a researcher claiming to have that evidence in addition to being such a person. The Hare Test likewise is little more than a personality test and has about as much credibility as similar statistical personality tests used by Astrologers, Scientologists and Opinion Polls. While there appears to be some legitimate maths involved, the fact is that reverse association of statistical patterns to individual cases is not valid logic or mathematics. You cannot tell how a individual is going to vote based on their membership of a group that highly favours one party. Statistics say nothing about individuals, only groups and probabilities in the group. This fundamental abuse of basic statistical mathematics to create an invalid association is propaganda not evidence, and does nothing to advance the science of Psychiatry but rather brings it into justifiable ridicule and disrepute.
And yet if you were to categorically exclude psychopaths from your personal and professional life, you will universally have a better quality of life and a lot less drama. On the other hand, if you spend your entire life surrounding yourself only by psychopaths, you're likely to wind up broke, devastated, and quite possibly dead by an act of violence. It's almost like statistics don't lie, and reality is actually real.
Devyn Selnes Critical Analysis does not involve launching ones own replacement theory. For example, any book reviewer who concudes their review with a promotion of their own work on the same subject would have no credibility whatsoever. Your accusation of me as a "TROLL" is a personal attack and the mark of an intellectual coward.
The second I started watching this video I got the sense that there was something not right. I do have to commend him for being brave and coming out to talk about it.
There's no emotional payoff to developing healthy relationships for a psychopath. I love that he repurposed his narcissism to give himself that emotional payoff, instead. He actually took something poisonous and used it to treat the greater problem. (Like chemo and cancer.) That's next level. Respect. 💯
12:50 what a fantastical revelation… so simple yet so profound… I think I have strong antisocial traits. I lack empathy, I might actually laugh unless you are truly dying if something unfortunate happens to you. I will manipulate people to get what I want. And I often create situations that will highlight my accomplishments. Regardless, recently I hurt (emotionally) someone who was close to me. And I realized am not really repentant of what I did, I was more sorry that my actions would cut of someone that I enjoyed being around regardless of how the felt or where affected by my actions. In a sense it was inconvenient. And that led to a downwards spiral were I have evaluated myself and everything I have done. Am not sure I have loved, or truly cared. It seems I choose people and I just don’t want them to leave my circle because it’s convenient. I will try just, questioning my every move and try to do what others would enjoy receiving. Although I agree, I don’t feel good when I do “good things” if anything my brain tells me how stupid I am for not going to “easy route”. Not sure why am sharing this, but if you read this years in the future, maybe reply to check on the results.
Fascinating, thanks so much for stepping forward to tell us what its like to have that unfortunate condition from your own experience, many would not be so brave.
Very cool talk! And actually from a perspective that can not be reached artificially. Thought provoking... Where do opinions on ethics end and psychopathy starts? How controversial must someone's views and values be for them to be psychos?
I noticed a slew of psychopathic tendencies just during this video, e.g. does seem pretty narcissistic, even without mentioning narcissism, as in "I'm pretty cool that way."
Good job taking better care of those around you, like your wife. I’ve been on the receiving end of abuse and it sure is a hard way to live. Thank you for learning how to be kind. Thank you for being brave enough, to come out to the world.
Brilliant video! We are our genes but we're also more. Just rationally understanding right and wrong and committing to doing right is perhaps sufficient to turn us into better people. Just as Dr. Fallon says towards the end of the piece I find myself having to deliberately pause occasionally to make a rational inventory looking for the right course of action. I do wind up doing what I know is right even when I don't particularly want to do it.
I remember hearing somewhere that psychopaths who read are less likely to do wrong things. I believe it referred to reading fiction in particular. I wish I remembered where I'd heard that.
I find that paise necessary, due to my Irish genes and an overabundance od undereducated, judgemental, narrow minded Southerners, that love to reference Faux News PROGRAMS and hearsay! ha! Am serious - Mercy I THINK I'M ON THE NONPSYCHOPATH SIDE OF THE ROOM! :-)
I love his self-insight. He stops what he is doing and psychologically asks himself, “What should I be doing?” He’s learned to manipulate himself 😂. Love this guy. So brilliant! 🤩🥰👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I find him quite fascinating. 😊
it almost makes me wonder: are we in this day and age over-thinking our own behaviors? In my pondering, we are either overthinking our own dispositions, or the past cases have gone unnoticed. Either way, the ability to comprehend one's own disposition such as this neuroscientist is the important thing in my opinion. Everyone should be on this level of comprehension and understanding about one's own behavior
I watched this guy a couple times now. He scares the shit outta me. His wife, kids co-workers they weren't protecting their tormentors....they were protecting themselves. They knew how he was, "dotn worry I'm not going to try and get back at you." Why would they believe that. In fact the better they know him the more likely they will know his tendencies towards revenge, his intellectual capacity and the length he holds a grudge. How do he isn't lying when he says "I promise I won't get mad"? How many times have we heard that line followed by anger? He hides his anger, he is quite proud that no one knows. So how do we know if he's angry? How can anyone make peace with him if they slighted him or harmed him? Maybe he says it's "it's fine I'm not mad". How do you know he's not lying and waiting to get back at you? He will hurt them...... eventually. That's dangerous. I would avoid this man like the fucking plague. ...his Mom was right. He shouldn' t have told people. His mom knew the extent of it beyond anyone else....I trust his mother. I don't trust him.
i think a big percentage of the world understands what mr fallon is talking about. the key is a person like fallon understands and has a good perception of what is happening. he feels the rage and he can control. he does not go against it. actually, he knows it's quite normal. the person who does not have that healthy perception has a higher chance of being a killer. simple.
There are two kinds of empathy. There is an emotional empathy that happens unconsciously, and then there is calculated empathy where you consciously try to put yourself in someone else's place. The first kind is what most people refer to, but it only seems to work with people that we identify with. This is very evident in the political right. They can feel emotional empathy towards an imagined unborn child but easily dismiss immigrant children who are hungry in their home country. They can identify with George Zimmerman when he says that he was afraid, but cannot identify at all with Trevon Martin who died for a bag of skittles and watermelon soda. They identify with Israeli mothers but see Palestinian ones as using their children for human shields. Mothers that aren't part of the perceived tribe could easily not love their children. We hear all the time how we need more empathy, and by this people mean the unconscious emotional kind, but this doesn't help society. It seems to me that emotional empathy just leads to more problems, as emotionality does in general.
Don't try to make it political. You're right about the two types of empathy, real and cold/calculated. Cold empathy is a trait of cluster b personality disorder because due to their cptsd they've buried their inner child and so they dont really exist or play the game of life and hence they cant get hurt. They live vicariously through others. Equating politicians to justify your political views is misrepresenting mental illness. Dont go around mixing two very complex topics which you seem to have a very elementary knowledge of just to make your life easier. You're living your own version of illusion which is also a trait of trauma.
@@007lutherking We need to recognize that animal empathy doesn't help us. You don't solve the systemic problem of hungry children by feeling bad about it.
@@NoWay1969 no such thing as animal empathy. Whatre you on about? People with cold empty are mentally ill. Look into cluster b personality disorder. You have no idea what youre talking about. You need a concept of mental illness.
psychopaths can underastand their behaviors i assure you,i was diagnosed as a psychopath and i reasarched what it means so i hate when people say if you know you are a psychopath then you are not one,dor fucks sake we are psychopathic not freaking retarded
my friend is also a psychopath, he's not diagnosed but I know how he acts, he likes a lot of money and blood, he also smiles when he's stressed but I love him he's very cool he told me that he's evil, he enjoys beginning like that, he also has difficulty to say the truth about things
that's scary, that people never know that he is mad. that's definitely not good. and the revenge thing is pretty horrifying. most people, if they just refrain from reacting to their anger, often cool down and let it go. but holding onto the revenge is scary.
It's downright terrifying, and the reason you can not trust men like him. We as a society need to come together and recognize that no, these creatures are not good for us or society no matter how much they try and convince us that is the case. They are not benign, we can not coexist. As long as they are around, they will prey on normal people.
As someone who is likely psychopathic genetically, the best way for me to move in society is through observation. I observe my surroundings, and developed spacial, sensory and social awareness (social was hardest because I have under active limbic systems, and highly compartmentalized emotions because of it), which prevents most neurological triggers from over riding my brain and essentially "blacking out" and making decisions based on any unhinged emotion I have at that moment. I am very careful who I allow in my personal life and space because I know this about myself, and do not wish to hurt anyone, including my own psyche. Psychological damage is very very difficult to heal, and a lot of people, especially psychopaths, cannot do this. Imagine doing it without support because if you are open that you are psychopathic, not a single person is likely going to show empathy for you.
the truth is we are all psychopaths to some extent, some more than others display they characteristics, but all are capable. people think im a saint, and yet when i get mad its like hell did a corporate takeover of earth.
Psychopaths are charming. Like this guy to fit in the society. That is part of their personality. But do not trust. They will not sleep unless they get their revenge. Their blood boils even many yrs until they get their "victory" for bringing revenge. Will not change unless they do personal work like this guy. Especially stopping himself for revenge. Adopting " let it go attitude + forgiveness + no revenge " is normal spectrum.
7 years late to the party, but... I'd say that the people who can tolerate and love these psychopaths are the sweetest kindest people, just so amazing and resilient and wholesome and easygoing. They don't deserve to be with a psychopath, but... somehow it works. I wish I knew how to spot them so I could get a girlfriend like that. My dad acts kinda psycho, but I know he's just being autistic...
No- genetically predisposed to cause others pain and a pathological liar to boot- go look up what a psychopath is instead of falling for this guys pity plea.
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A person like that, with psychopathy, who goes out of his way to pause, and think, and do the right thing - that is so noble, and praiseworthy; the emotional and neurochemical reward system isn't there, but they are consciously choosing to make the right choice.
Alorand What? You can still do the right things as a psychopath, for example becoming a successful and powerful scientist.
Exactly, and it is much better for the rest of us if a psychopath finds a good reason to do the right thing, instead of becoming successful by exploiting people.
This would mean that psychopaths who commit violent crimes are just bad people, but it's really not as simple as that. These things fall on a spectrum. James Fallon is further along that spectrum than the average person meaning he doesn't feel empathy and guilt to the same extent but he does feel it. There are individuals who are at the complete extreme end of the spectrum and don't even know what empathy or guilt feel like. Fallon does the right thing at least in part because he still can. However, the environment you were raised in plays a big role in shaping your behavior. Raise someone with mild psychopathy in an abusive household with neglectful parents and you might get a serial killer. Raise someone with mild psychopathy in a loving environment with caring parents and you might get a successful neuroscientist.
Smoking Horsey Fuck You. I'm a psychopath I know how we work, fuck you.
Lol sorry to burst your bubble Alorand but as if there's the slightest chance he actually gives a fuck about doing the right thing. I know plenty of people who I thought were great people with big hearts who did horrible things and were assholes, who weren't psychopaths, I think I'd have to give myself a lobotomy to believe a psychopath would take the noble path. Why would they???
"If you're treating me well, it means you're trying. That's all that matters"
Regardless of the level of psycopathy of a person, I think it's important to remind ourselves that we are often mentally exhausted (from work, social interactions, etc.), and it can be difficult to be genuine and empathetic at all time. We remind ourselves of this, so that we can make conscious choice to treat people well, instead of relying purely on our emotional drive to do so. Treating people well, doesn't have to come from the heart.
Psychopaths are not normal.
Let us not put them in the same box.
They need more personal work + counselling with a psychologist.
Psychopaths can be smart & charming like this guy on video but he thinks of revenge ( last even in years ) + disregard of rules
If a psychopath adapts a " just let it go" chill attitude towards things & not have revenge = great personal work on himself, shifting to normal guy category.
That change is not easy.
We have to be resposible & accountable with OUR OWN ACTIONS
Whatever environment we have.
Clinical psychologists classify them as, depending on having
" psychopathic trait" ( this person has not satisfied more categories)
Another category is having anti social personality disorder if they satisfy the characteristics of that disorder ( not normal, personality disorder)
Also another list is the psychopathy list.
If a person evaluated has more check on that psychopath list, then that person is diagnosed by the professional clinician as psychopath.
Eithet way, these people all need psychological counselling on the point of view of a professional.
By brain structure, according to research, the frontal side of the brain of a diagnosed psychopath IS SMALLER than the normal range.
Yes. It is not normal by anatomy.
@@vivianalter7688 pls go to youtubes about psychopaths and their brains. It is already documented by clinical psychologists.
For many yrs now.
Self awareness + personal work is done by a patient with the help of these clinical professionals towards the path of psychological healing
@@vivianalter7688 whatever
I agree with you 100%
This man is the quintessential high-functioning individual with Antisocial Personality d/o/Psychopathy. The beauty of this is that the man understands his impairment (emotional empathy) and is able to operationalize growth within his area of deficit such that he can *function* (I can't stress the significance of that) along with others effectively.
I didn't know about emotional empathy until as of late. I was deeply disturbed to find out I have zero emotional empathy. I try to be a good person and mostly am. This video makes me feel some relief. I wonder how many good people out there who have no empathy.
@NoName1 I am the same way. I have no empathy, very low emotions (almost non existant) and no guilt/remorse. As far as getting mad, I am the same as the guy in this video. However I was raised with morals/ethics. Never had/kept any friends, however I have tons of business acquaintances, which doesn't bother me whatsoever because I enjoy being alone. But I am in a long term relationship, it takes work on my part.
I always laugh when someone switches from "I'm not a criminal" to "I don't have a record." I also wonder what crimes they got away with.
you are a rude person
... plz stop existing
u're projecting
Exactly! That you were never convicted for something doesn't mean you are not guilty!
@@huzaifa-682 you obviously never met one of those guys in person. Or you are one of them?
Followed by " I didn't get caught" and then "I had fun" lol.
"No record, but I've done some fun things."
Yeah, someone should check his backyard.
Yeah-a lot of people could say the same-among other things....
Methinks the percentage of how many psychopaths exist is greatly underestimated. Either that, or I've met more than my fair share.
DoJo Epics It's been estimated to be about 3% of the population, so in the US alone that's something like 10 million people.
kokofan50 Yeah-I've met enough.
Half the people I meet have too many of the "fun-loving" traits mentioned here. Wait long enough and you'll see it all around you.... o.O
I often wonder how many of that 3% are teachers, police, doctors, lawyers, judges, politicians, lobbyists, corporate executives, .... O.O
I'm just locking my door and staying on the internet-where all of the *normal* crazy people are.
Yeah.
8D
DoJo Epics =]] Yeah, those thoughts haunt me too... >.
It doesn't matter what your motive is, as long as you're treating people better that's all that matters because it means you're trying. That was my favourite part of this! It's SUCH a relieving thing to be reminded of!
Actually it does matter. If you do something just to take advantage of someone and as a meand of manipulation, it is utterly wrong!
@@ronniesal7436 There is a sense to it even in the opposite end of the spectrum. If you didn't learn how to care for yourself, value your time then you just put boundaries to others and respect yourself a bit, it will definitely get better. It's meant for people struggling in either end of this problem.
@@ednamekp3616 I am sorry. I did not quite understand you!
His tongue lives its own life
+Mizty LOLOLOLOL
+Mizty You have to understand that it is very uncomfortable for him to speak about how broken inside he is...
+Rares Sabin Rusu The only thing broken here is his tongue.
+Angelo Guilherme Weiss no problemo. you have a nice day sir.
lol it does
Starting around 5:34, listen to how he casually switches between moral culpability (having had done something) and legal culpability (having been caught for something). Classic. It's almost amazing that he didn't realize this about himself sooner.
He's toning it down. He's known for a long long time. It's just been advantageous for him to do it now
Derek Brunette That's what I was thinking too, haha.
i agree.
The narcissist is never at fault! Remember that. ;)
Conformist138 holy shit
This was utterly fascinating to me...the introspection, the bravery of delvng into oneself...and with genuine curosity and deepend self-knowledge...Damn I wish more humans approached THEMSELVES with this kind of seeking, compassion and desire to improve themselves through looking at their darkest parts.
Wow. Now that is applaudable. Trying to do the right thing even though you don't have the natural urge to do so.
@Lona 87 It's serving his ego. That's selfish.
@@MaDrung Every act is selfish. Even completely altruistic acts are selfish in that they serve to ease the distress WE feel due to the suffering of others. There is no unselfish act.
@@dreamlandnightmare I agree. I'm just pointing out he is not doing it out of the emotional good feeling of trying to help others.
Sociopaths are the ones with no emotion. I thought he's a borderline psychopath
@@dreamlandnightmare untrue
Treat people right is good advice for everyone.
JS B hmmm🤔 that’s exactly what a psychopath would say.
Matt Foley 🤣👌🏼
9:00 His description of what ‘anger’ feels like to psychopaths is spot on, and one of the biggest differences between psychopaths and sociopaths.
yeah hes totally right
What do you say about sociopaths? To me they are the same!
@@ronniesal7436niche goes as psychopath are born while sociopath are developed with time
@@Nishantpatale9423 how can you tell if someone is born a psychopath? There are no studies showing diferences in babies brains.
@@ronniesal7436 though there is no direct correlation, but it could be inherited.
I am no expert thats how much i can tell you
I don't get to say this genuinely very often but that was fascinating.
"I've had conversations with the police many times, but I'm always able to talk my way out of it..." That is very psychopathic behavior.
Unborn Heretic or just someone with good social skills or a good con man
Being calm, decisive and pretending to be respectful is the best way to talk to police officers. You don't ever have to acknowledge whatever law was being broken as long as you circumvent the topic, insert appropriate complements ("you're just doing your job and I think you're doing it well") and play with the feelings solicited by it ("I have immense respect for what you do") and posture yourself with one foot to the side as if you're getting ready to walk away, keep looking at your watch (to show your time is being wasted) and then thank them for intervening when they let you go.
Rinse and repeat.
Law enforcement, the ones that see a lot if action, know when they are being played. It is funny to watch the person being so obvious thinking they are really talking their way out of it! LE is thinking all along, "Asshole".
hassi44 true..
No, it's not. Police are corrupt too.
His coinage of "Family Stockholm Syndrome", is really great.
There are some really wonderful Speakers/writers about the idea the Psycopaths are a part of of population, and aren't just the demonized Serial Killers - those individuals fall onto the spectrum of Psycopathy. It has been an eye-opener to listen and read this leading understanding.
You should become part of the family of one of them. It would be lovely that people who speak without knowing would actually experience first hand psychopatic abuse! I wonder if they would feel as charmed for psychopaths afterwards!
I guess the ultimate narcissist challenge is telling the world everything and still get away with shit. Such a compliment to self. Shove it in their face and play ball from that position. Everyone's bamboozled - they can't believe it or make sense of it.
+whynottalklikeapirat I don't think there is a level higher than the field he is playing.
Keepin Privatee
You know - I remember the first talk he gave. He came off as just a regular guy who accidentally happened to notice he had the brain profile of psychopath. Just another normal life, made possible by good circumstance against biological odds. Kind of interesting, kind of dramatically ironic. Then as the story is retold what gradually comes out is how he's been in trouble with the law, how people around him, and mental health professionals already considered his behaviour kinda psychopathic - and told him. Apperently all this is supposed to have never really registered with him until a brain scan occurs that he could not run away from. What to do in his position? A reasonably high level researcher? Play ball of course. Now he is a new man with a new insight, sorta redeemed, sorta scientifically interesting, one who never noticed how self serving he is until he saw his brain on paper. Really? I mean ... really? With a bit of a twist his story becomes a tale to sell and not a record of a manipulative life. Cos, like, redemption.
+whynottalklikeapirat, what is he doing now is giving him ultimate satisfaction, the life goal of a narcissist is to gain your attention positive or negative it doesn't matter.. and through this all 'coming out thing' he is getting it a fair chunk.. He is literally wining at this game..
whynottalklikeapirat ;3
+whynottalklikeapirat Secretly jealous of his succes, hmm? ;)
I'm highly anxious, and in a way, I'm jealous of psychopaths. I wish I didn't give a fuck, but I'm glad I don't hurt people...but goddamn do I hate anxiety.
***** You realize sociopath is just a new age term for psychopath...
*****
you don't know what you're talking about.
Gasko Gaskovich You're describing psychopaths again.
Chris Pasco they're far from honest.
Alex Marcellino Define sanity and the guidelines for what is considered "sane"?
Really liked the home stretch of this talk.
I think this makes him stand out as a good example amongst people with a substantial degree of psychopathy.
Good for him for taking control of himself like this! This is inspirational!
He's just playing a game and feeding his narcissism, look how famous and liked he became.
@@John_Doe62 this is beneficial to science stupid
Most psychopaths have good control duh
Warning: Wannabe psychopaths in comments.
I wish i was a psychopath, it sounds fun D:
@@LomstatWoolf
I wish I was because I don't fit in my own brain. Beyond the most psychopathic prosocial psychopath brain I consider the non-psychopath brain as *garbage*
It's true btw. Psychopaths have a collection of alleles.
Salvador Ruelas what parts sounds fun?
i am better than everyone in the society. fuck em and burry em.
@Ethan Tran They do shoot-outs not because of Psychopathy, because of Sociopathy and traumas that they had in the school. Psychopaths do not show emotions which includes anger, fear or anxiety. They feel the rage but It only lasts 5 seconds. They are more like a snake type, they don't make plans based on their emotions. Those are the sociopaths who do shoot-outs and mass-shootings. Psychopathy is different, it's something that you born with it, Sociopathy is something that a person can develop it and child-hood traumas cause the Sociopathy. But in a simple way, Psychopaths are born, sociopaths are made. A Sociopath can have emotions but they don't care. Psychopaths do not have emotions because they are lack of empathy, remorse and other basic emotions. They are pure evil.
It's so weird because I relate so much to everything he is saying, and also everything he has said in other videos, it makes me want to get a PET scan myself.
He does the thing with his tongue like the joker too...
Like a fictional character? Could be side effect of medication or habit.
Luke Joker from The Dark Knight
It's a quirk that some people with anxiety or minor ocd acquire.
Lexus Fox I thought it was because the makeup dried out his lips.
He could very well just have dry lips. Lexus Fox here doesn't have anything tangible to suggest that Fallon has OCD or anxiety. But that's TH-cam, right? A sea of self-appointed experts with limited knowledge over the subject in question.
I like how not all psychopaths are bad.
+TNBBravo IceCobalt Its the actions that are bad or good , people are just people.
+TNBBravo IceCobalt Yeah, he described himself in another video as what he called a " pro social psychopath " and he went on to say how this form of psychopathy benefits people in high stress, high performance professions, such as brain surgeon, or search and rescue pilot.
Most people called psychopaths have antisocial personality disorder. Most psychiatrists don't ever use term psychopath diagnostically. Complete psychopaths are actually very rare. An example of a complete psychopath with literally almost no emotions or feelings is Napoleon Bonaparte or Shoko Asahara. Most people with antisocial personality disorder are like deliberately violent gangsters or an abusive boss.
+Mr. Popo And Hillary Clinton.
Well, the problem is that someone like him could very well have ended up as a vicious serial killer had he been raised in a different environment. And even as he is he's kind of a dick without even realizing it.
So if there was some way to treat/prevent this sort of thing(such as genetic manipulation) I think it's important to do so. A world without psychopaths would certainly be a safer and probably friendlier place.
Lots of videos about how I might be a psychopath. Maybe Big Think is trying to tell me something.
Yes. Maybe we are?
yo pienso que el ser mental nace neutro y que la mente puede cambiar de pendiendo de los principios de lo que uno cree que es lo mas importante y que hace funcionar el mundo o la humanidad. sociopatia y la psicopatia es un muy sercano inverso del estado mental sobre el bien su opoesto vendria ser dalailama =P o algo asi..!!
pseudogenesis I got this video from youtube suggestions :-) I have watched videos about language, machine learning and artificial intelligence...
+NightRaven 1901 Sociopathy and psychopathy are the same exact thing.
+jeff bee not really, they have some of the traits but they are not the same thing
Wow. Thank you for sharing your personal story. I'm in my 20s but this has really made me think about my loved ones' (and my) behaviour. Fascinating video.
I LOVE the self awareness and concerted effort to "do Good". Ultimately, "being Good" is simply "doing Good".
The way you came to realize your behaviours and tried to do better is inspiring. Thank you for telling these so courageously.
"Naive" is a word you should look up in the dictionary! I highly encourage you to do so! And may whichever God protect you from ever crossing roads with someone like him. They would eat you alive (not literally) but after dealing with someone like him you would actually end up wishing he would have actually ate you alive. It is a lot less cruel to what they do to their victims!
The more he talks, the more obvious it becomes.
Olly Chamberlain how?
Sorryscene His discussion encases the perspective essence of psychopaths so well that it's convincing that he is one. Especially on the end where he tries to do good.
Olly Chamberlain I watched him a couple times, the first time I thought, "oh he's a decent guy". Next time I was like, "actually he's a bit shifty," than third time I was like "holy shit this guy is fucking dangerous. He is so good at miming and manipulating but in his core, it's all about that revenge thing and putting himself first. Goodness gracious, he's probably done so many fucked up things to people and manipulate countless others....
You never really know if you did something to be put on his list, he will never tell you, and with his intelligence and social skills, man he can fuck with you....guy is so dangerous and unpredictable.
Mike Shoults lol
Mike Shoults I’m not saying I’m a psychopath bc I’m not diagnosed but I know for a fact I wouldn’t answer the questions a psychologist or whatever would ask bc I’m not risking that shit being on my record. But what you said is 💯 . I don’t tell people they’re on my list - friends,family, etc. Robert Greene talked about the serpent with the long memory and it speaks for itself. Wait however long it takes and when the moment is presented strike like lighting
You should win an award for intellectual honesty. You're a good person, not because of the way you were born or the way your mind works. But because you are honest with yourself and others and you CHOOSE to do the good thing.
This guy may be a borderline psychopath, but he is interesting to listen to. I'm just borderline....boring.
Are you though? Maybe you haven't found the right audience. Everyone has something important to say.
Aktchung Rabanio amen 🙏🏻 his comment made me laugh
lol
Nothing wrong with boring, if you don't talk too much :)
Thats a borderline joke. Borderline is the worst mental disease to have and trust me bpd is anything but boring, dude probably frequents hospital so often he knows everyone by first name basis. Lol
the problem with the world is that people aren't aware of themselves, and are always in denial !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Bad hombres" 1:16
Eduardo Sanchez I thought that was funny too, since Trump said it & he's clearly a psychopath
MAGA
What are the damn odds that trump said something from a psychopath video.. xD
you sir win the internet 2 days ago lol
😅😅😅
The idea that people can be a psychopath and live fine with others appeals to me, and at least it is far more compassionate and rational alternative than any Mad Scare. To me, I take this video as a message that people will try to create a society which everyone's differences(even like how extreme and notorious in the case of psychopaths) can be considered and allowed by itself, and evaluated only by consequences, not the trait.
Dear Mr Fallon, thank you for taking the courage to explain and show us your example. I wish many of the people that have the same symptoms could learn from you.
All the best!
Thank you for your courage (or whatever the driving factor may be) that has allowed you to share and bare yourself in this way. Infinitely helpful to get a better understanding of others. So much gratitude, thank you!
Courage? It is only interest! He was looking for pitty and admiration and he got both!
stupid psychopath is usually dead or in jail. smart psychopath is a wolf in sheep's clothing and will always thrive in a society of sheep.
Majority of psychopaths go through life without killing anyone still being complete psychopaths and a lot never get caught when they do kill people.
At least if so many psychopaths are out there then this world order is good for their genes
Дмитрий Аверьянов You know. Most psychopaths aren't inherently bad people. They just can't emphasize and feel aggressive tendencies.
Дмитрий Аверьянов Sheep are delicious, what's your point?
I read this in the most heavy Russian accent. That was fun
really cool take on sociopathy. I especially enjoyed the ending where "it doesn't matter why you do it, it only matters if your doing it". Maybe because i was thaught that the "why" is the most important question.
Not sociopathy but psychopathy
I agree with whoever thaught you that the why is the most important question. Please always ask yourself why someone is doing something for you. Psychopaths never do things for the sake of doing the right thing. Thos guy is not different!
Sociopaths have similarity with psychopaths and also differences
Sociopaths are people attracted to power, fame & position. They become ceo or politician or like to work with big bosses.
Psychopaths do not like big responsibility or being a ceo or being center of attention
Similarity:
Both have highly disagreeable personality.
Both have disregard for rules.
Both hate people who enforces rules on them.
Both are charming & smart like this guy. To fit in the society.
Sociopaths are not killers. But will "remove people" in their way that blocks their ambition of power.
Psychopaths fight people who hurt them in simple or bigger ways. Always intense anger. Either verbal insults or physical violence.
Sociopaths & psychopaths even if they are different, are similar. They " confront people" in different ways who irritate them.
That part about revenge reminded me of a friend of mine. The interesting part is that he never really had the power to hurt someone's career or family, but in his mind he did. He would try, maybe do something like lie to the persons girlfriend or write in a complaint at his job, but most people were able to catch on to the bullshit. Afterwords however, he would brag for days about "i ruined his life!".
My jaw dropped at around 13 minutes too. Blew my mind just the same. Universe tilting.
The part about being angry too. The thing about it is that I don't "get angry" and grudges don't keep me up at night, I don't write them down but they may as well be written down. It doesn't show, at all, but I never truly forgive. Now things make more sense. I don't experience that "cooling down" part of the process. It's not a fiery burning thing that drives me, it's a cold and arctic kind of anger that doesn't burn itself out. It just kind of sits there until I decide the outcome was satisfactory.
With all that being said, I can't possibly be a psychopath. I don't have the qualifications to diagnose myself and if I was I'm pretty sure I'd be better off if no one knew.
Really relatable.
One thing that happened and leaves me thinking a lot:
An old man on my flight back home had no credit card to pay for a lunch that he wanted, he had cash ($10) but no card.
After some thinking I paid it for him and gave him his little lunch (the stewardesses loved it, but I didn't know the monetary worth of the meal) , he was extremely happy and gave me the $10, I resisted of course (because I didn't want his money or I wanted to seem humble(?)) but then took the note.
The little lunch box was $5.50, I made a $3.50 gain by being nice and I mostly wonder if that was a subconscious psychopath move to make a little monetary gain and feed my narcissistic needs by impressing the stewardesses or me trying to make a positive impact in someones life and see them smile by plainly no being an asshole for once.
See, if you don't want to take the money because it's not really an important amount to you, just take it anyway and then donate the $10 to a local food bank. Then you look helpful and magnanimous, plus 10 random people get to eat a meal.
I was given 5$ once by a stranger in a fast food restaurant, she said I dropped it and I saw her picking it up from the floor right next to me. I had no doubts bc I tend to lose things like this so I thanked her and put the money into my wallet. Next time when I payed in the same restaurant I noticed that I was charged more by 5$. This kind of silent judging and policing was embarassing on one hand and scary on the other hand since the seller remembered me and decided to be this silent vigilante. Just like this man in the video mentioned that he doesn't say a word but remembers and strikes down later out of the blue. Since then I see people acting like this in a much bigger scale. I can't relate to that, it's crazy af.
@@name5876 I have a hard enough time TRYING to stay mad at people who seriously wrong me, I couldn't imagine holding onto a petty grudge like that for days or months, let alone years. Hell, I couldn't even imagine HAVING a grudge that petty in the first place. Well, I guess that's all the proof I need that *I'm* not a psychopath at the very least.
It took great courage for James Fallon to admit that to potentially millions of people! Even if he looks or feels that he does not care, that is the symptom of his illness! He still has great courage!
I've had many, many long deep discussions about Life, Love, relationships with my psychopath friend. It's a real trip! They aren't 'crazy serial killers' despite what the TV is telling you
There is nothing wrong with being a serial killer.
They are actually worse than serial killers. Serial killers kill yoir body. Low profile psychopaths kill your soul!
he is living his psychopath dream, he gets to tell his story about himself and back it up with science so he is interest and true haha
What a brave man to talk about himself this way.
brave? do you mean psychopath? haha
Wow! Brave move to take a look at “self” and become more self-aware. Many live and die without ever achieving that level of growth. Congrats to his wife!
He's just playing a game and feeding his narcissism, look how famous and liked he became.
Not if you don't give a damn! You only speak from your perspective because you are measuring the psychopath from your values and fears. But psychopaths have no values or fears! So he is not BRAVE. He admits what he is only because he obtains a gain from it!
Wow.. What an outstanding speaker!
I definitely admire his honesty
Thanks for posting this video. It gave me some insight. There is so much controversy over physcopathy vs. Sociopathy that it has been hard for me to fully understand being a physcopath. After listening to your talk, I believe your book will be a great source of information.
This videogame quote really sums it up:
“What is better? To be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”
~ Paarthurnax
This also brings out the question of what is really free will and what's the normality. We love the idea of free will and being free to decide what to do, but when we're genetically wired to be influenced by our emphaty, that means we're born somewhat good natured, of course we can decide to act selfishly and in an evil manner, but this makes me wonder, how many "good" thing we do, just because we function that way and not because we really mean it or we consciously decide to.
Brilliant!!! 🤩
“I have to use my ego, my sense of narcissism, to manipulate myself to handle it.”
That was psychologically orgasmic 😂😂😂
I love it. 🥰
Really cool talk. Especially the final bits.
What an interesting video! This just puts me into so many thoughts! Big Think, thank you for providing so many food for thought and presenting such interesting subjects.
I've always dealt with the issue differently. I don't have to think of what to do in any situation, I follow a specific personality type. I switch between them, depending on the situation. Basically, I act and think like someone else, aside from emotion, which I simulate. Most of the time, which is why I don't end up in trouble, and why I still maintain relationships, I take on a host personality, much like a butler. I will smile, and laugh on cue.
I don't understand the anger bit though. I don't get angry. It's not that I don't show it, I simply don't have it in me. I get the revenge bit, but I don't do it in anger. It's not really revenge, it's more like a warning against future interference. Most of the time, I simply disassociate myself with anyone who might screw with my life.
I haven't always been this way, nor do I know why I am now. I used to feel everything so passionately that I couldn't control my urges. I'd get so angry that I'd tear up a room, having constant shouting matches, and got into more than my share of fights. The only emotion I feel now are by intent, and only last as long as I can will them, which at most tends to be about a minute. Sometimes I'd like to get that part of me back. I am not certain it I was better off, or not.
You may have burnt out your dopamine levels or serotonin reuptake. I wonder if overtime, our brain becomes desensitized to trauma that we become numb.
You sound like you enjoy talking about yourself
Why do I relate to this so much? So many people are complaining about him not explaining. I thought it was normal to think like this.
This makes me worried. A lot of the traits mentioned here (not caring, being angry for a long period of time, exacting an appropriate level of revenge) are the kinds of things that I do all the time. Am I a psychopath?
Thank you ever so much for frank honesty. I can relate to some degree. I have to wonder why the mulling over of revenge in response to perceived harm gets a label like psychopathy and mulling over how to reciprocate a perceived act of kindness doesn't get a fancy psychosis name or balance the argument out and highlight the flaw in the way we think about being human.
One is considered normal and the other isn't. I've noticed that when i started researching into my autism and stuff
What I wonder is why psychotic people are seen as devils while psychopaths (unless they kill dozens of people) can get to fool people around faking they are nice and good people and actually get sympathy and admiration!
Thank you for this vid! You are not alone, Dr. Fallon. I found out about myself just over two and a half years ago. Keep up the great work!
I bet you are not a psychopath! But he is, and he doesn't care about your support! Not in the sense of needing emotional support (and not from an individual, unless you could make him famous and rich) he only cares that he could fool you and the other thoudands of people he fooled, too!
I can relate to your story, though I've started to be less selfish a lot before you (I've been told from my kiddo days that I cannot be selfish, maybe that's why). The thing is - it will harm you badly. I've been helping my girlfriend to get out of things like sexual harrasement, drugs, no self esteem and lot of others (all of this sitting deeply in her memories of past events, she couldn't handle it). I've changed her, shown the new way, gave her higher ego and taught a lot of useful things. I had to logically think each time to help her (hide my own emotions, what I'm willing for etc.) so I won't hurt her with my psycho-traits. My goal was to help her and I've succeeded. It turned out to be a bad move. I got kicked in the ass in return... Really harshly kicked. That's when 'real me' got into play - I drove her into suicide attempt. Felt joy and sensed the beauty of that event, everything would be even between us. Unluckily it failed. All of the people going rough on those 'nasty psychopats' - fuck off, you're no better. Sometimes psychos are morally greater than you are, you are just to blind to see it.
Yeah right- your too blind to see the truck coming down the road that is your exposure.
you were never helping her- you were remaking her how you wanted her to be- your too sick to see it.
I love to help people and have helped more than one person with things like those you mention. But I have no illusion about being selfless. My gratification just happens to be invisible to those I help because it makes ME feel great to see them succeed and know I played a part in them getting to where they are.
I agree with deadprivacy : You're not selfless, you just don't have insight enough to see that you're just as self serving as you always were - if in a more constructive way. The danger is that without insight you'll be more vulnerable to relapse into your past behavior patterns.
If someone all emotional acts nicely to people around them, that means they are just in peace with themselves and act nicely by consequence, so it wouldn't be their fault that they are nice. If someone got you mad, but you make the concious decision to not be at war with that person and voluntarily be nice to the person, that means something about your character.
I am diagnosed with ASPD. I love hearing people talk about me. Talk about what I have, I love to learn about myself, about why I am different. Just wanted to say.
"I've had conversations with the police many times but i was able to talk my way out of it and get them to laugh, I've done some fun things". That's our police for ya
Co-ed killer was friends with cops.
Everybody likes a good story. Make people laugh, laugh together and ... I am sure that his crimes were smaller than the laughter. Sure he gets offers from publushers.
I totally agree - the police should arrest wrongdoers and not laugh in the fields with them.
This just makes me wonder even more about if I'm borderline psychopathic. Joy.
thanks for your honesty that was an inspiring talk
“I just had to count on my own narcissism to drive it.” 😂. Perfectly fit for his unique personality! 😅.
I love that he can joke about it, because he doesn’t have the psychopathy to extremely harm anyone; at least not to the degree of being a full psychopathic killer. 🙏🏻
I was hurt when a 6 mth friend said twice, l'd hate to have your eyes. I let it go. Two weeks later when she moaned about her horrible figure, and her bad eating habits. She said l don't eat enough.. And l replied, but i've got a good figure so l must be doing something right. The look on her face was priceless. Touche
This dude is really proud of this. All the movement when he is talking about his psychopathy, he's got to be terrible at poker.
He's proud of realizing and changing not the fact that hes a psychopath
Incredibly insightful and indeed heroic of James Fallon to share this with the world.
The definition of psychopath has changed dramatically in the last few decades but is still both simplistic and lacking. The 40 year old Hare Test upon which these shifts in definition are based has been accepted relatively without question by the scientific community, in spite of the Hare Test (and others like it) being developed from a statistical association only. The Hare Test cannot be applied to individuals because probabilistic implications for individuals yield false positives and false negatives. Consequently, a "borderline" psychopath based on the Hare Test (etc) is in fact a high probability false positive. In a Court of Law requiring a standard of proof beyond reasonable doubt, one must conclude James Fallon is NOT a "psychopath" (borderline or otherwise) because reasonable doubt exists and will always exist for anyone "diagnosed" under the Hare Test. In particular, the subtype "borderline" is a statistical Non sequitur (ie it does not follow), and to derive it the maths must be abused.
Psychopathy is extremely difficult to diagnose, more so today because the definition itself has changed. Originally, psychopathy was a term coined to identify persons who committed acts considered "sub-human". There is considerable debate as to whether psychopathy even exists, and yet James Fallon himself would argue that it is a physically identifiable. Yet he omits that the evidence so far is only statistical (circumstantial), and his viewpoint is far from objective as he is himself a researcher claiming to have that evidence in addition to being such a person.
The Hare Test likewise is little more than a personality test and has about as much credibility as similar statistical personality tests used by Astrologers, Scientologists and Opinion Polls. While there appears to be some legitimate maths involved, the fact is that reverse association of statistical patterns to individual cases is not valid logic or mathematics. You cannot tell how a individual is going to vote based on their membership of a group that highly favours one party. Statistics say nothing about individuals, only groups and probabilities in the group.
This fundamental abuse of basic statistical mathematics to create an invalid association is propaganda not evidence, and does nothing to advance the science of Psychiatry but rather brings it into justifiable ridicule and disrepute.
And yet if you were to categorically exclude psychopaths from your personal and professional life, you will universally have a better quality of life and a lot less drama. On the other hand, if you spend your entire life surrounding yourself only by psychopaths, you're likely to wind up broke, devastated, and quite possibly dead by an act of violence. It's almost like statistics don't lie, and reality is actually real.
babybirdhome Nice in theory. But how do you know who is a psychopath ? The only way to know for sure is to be a surviving victim.
babybirdhome
So completely true. You've described my life except for the dead part. Life can be so peaceful if you can pick your relationships wisely.
Said it was wrong, then didn't mention what he thinks is right... TROLL
Devyn Selnes Critical Analysis does not involve launching ones own replacement theory. For example, any book reviewer who concudes their review with a promotion of their own work on the same subject would have no credibility whatsoever. Your accusation of me as a "TROLL" is a personal attack and the mark of an intellectual coward.
The second I started watching this video I got the sense that there was something not right. I do have to commend him for being brave and coming out to talk about it.
There's no emotional payoff to developing healthy relationships for a psychopath. I love that he repurposed his narcissism to give himself that emotional payoff, instead. He actually took something poisonous and used it to treat the greater problem. (Like chemo and cancer.) That's next level.
Respect. 💯
12:50 what a fantastical revelation… so simple yet so profound…
I think I have strong antisocial traits. I lack empathy, I might actually laugh unless you are truly dying if something unfortunate happens to you. I will manipulate people to get what I want. And I often create situations that will highlight my accomplishments.
Regardless, recently I hurt (emotionally) someone who was close to me. And I realized am not really repentant of what I did, I was more sorry that my actions would cut of someone that I enjoyed being around regardless of how the felt or where affected by my actions. In a sense it was inconvenient.
And that led to a downwards spiral were I have evaluated myself and everything I have done.
Am not sure I have loved, or truly cared. It seems I choose people and I just don’t want them to leave my circle because it’s convenient.
I will try just, questioning my every move and try to do what others would enjoy receiving. Although I agree, I don’t feel good when I do “good things” if anything my brain tells me how stupid I am for not going to “easy route”.
Not sure why am sharing this, but if you read this years in the future, maybe reply to check on the results.
Fascinating, thanks so much for stepping forward to tell us what its like to have that unfortunate condition from your own experience, many would not be so brave.
Very cool talk! And actually from a perspective that can not be reached artificially. Thought provoking... Where do opinions on ethics end and psychopathy starts? How controversial must someone's views and values be for them to be psychos?
I noticed a slew of psychopathic tendencies just during this video, e.g. does seem pretty narcissistic, even without mentioning narcissism, as in "I'm pretty cool that way."
So I’m not, I let go of anger very easily. I feel the pain of others too.
Good job taking better care of those around you, like your wife. I’ve been on the receiving end of abuse and it sure is a hard way to live. Thank you for learning how to be kind. Thank you for being brave enough, to come out to the world.
The most interesting video. Even in his pathology he ultimately does the right thing. Bravo.
Thank you for sharing a part of your life with the world.
Brilliant video! We are our genes but we're also more. Just rationally understanding right and wrong and committing to doing right is perhaps sufficient to turn us into better people. Just as Dr. Fallon says towards the end of the piece I find myself having to deliberately pause occasionally to make a rational inventory looking for the right course of action. I do wind up doing what I know is right even when I don't particularly want to do it.
I remember hearing somewhere that psychopaths who read are less likely to do wrong things. I believe it referred to reading fiction in particular. I wish I remembered where I'd heard that.
I find that paise necessary, due to my Irish genes and an overabundance od undereducated, judgemental, narrow minded Southerners, that love to reference Faux News PROGRAMS and hearsay! ha! Am serious - Mercy I THINK I'M ON THE NONPSYCHOPATH SIDE OF THE ROOM! :-)
I love his self-insight. He stops what he is doing and psychologically asks himself, “What should I be doing?”
He’s learned to manipulate himself 😂. Love this guy. So brilliant! 🤩🥰👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I find him quite fascinating. 😊
it almost makes me wonder: are we in this day and age over-thinking our own behaviors? In my pondering, we are either overthinking our own dispositions, or the past cases have gone unnoticed. Either way, the ability to comprehend one's own disposition such as this neuroscientist is the important thing in my opinion. Everyone should be on this level of comprehension and understanding about one's own behavior
I LOVED your book. Thank you for all the science!
I watched this guy a couple times now. He scares the shit outta me. His wife, kids co-workers they weren't protecting their tormentors....they were protecting themselves. They knew how he was, "dotn worry I'm not going to try and get back at you." Why would they believe that. In fact the better they know him the more likely they will know his tendencies towards revenge, his intellectual capacity and the length he holds a grudge. How do he isn't lying when he says "I promise I won't get mad"? How many times have we heard that line followed by anger? He hides his anger, he is quite proud that no one knows. So how do we know if he's angry? How can anyone make peace with him if they slighted him or harmed him? Maybe he says it's "it's fine I'm not mad". How do you know he's not lying and waiting to get back at you? He will hurt them...... eventually. That's dangerous. I would avoid this man like the fucking plague.
...his Mom was right. He shouldn' t have told people. His mom knew the extent of it beyond anyone else....I trust his mother. I don't trust him.
That really has to be the greatest _"Holy fucking shit"_-moment in recent history.
This man reminds me of my father in every way.
i think a big percentage of the world understands what mr fallon is talking about. the key is a person like fallon understands and has a good perception of what is happening. he feels the rage and he can control. he does not go against it. actually, he knows it's quite normal.
the person who does not have that healthy perception has a higher chance of being a killer.
simple.
the placebo effect is strong in this one
Kappa LMAO
What's placebo?
There are two kinds of empathy. There is an emotional empathy that happens unconsciously, and then there is calculated empathy where you consciously try to put yourself in someone else's place. The first kind is what most people refer to, but it only seems to work with people that we identify with. This is very evident in the political right. They can feel emotional empathy towards an imagined unborn child but easily dismiss immigrant children who are hungry in their home country. They can identify with George Zimmerman when he says that he was afraid, but cannot identify at all with Trevon Martin who died for a bag of skittles and watermelon soda. They identify with Israeli mothers but see Palestinian ones as using their children for human shields. Mothers that aren't part of the perceived tribe could easily not love their children. We hear all the time how we need more empathy, and by this people mean the unconscious emotional kind, but this doesn't help society. It seems to me that emotional empathy just leads to more problems, as emotionality does in general.
Don't try to make it political. You're right about the two types of empathy, real and cold/calculated.
Cold empathy is a trait of cluster b personality disorder because due to their cptsd they've buried their inner child and so they dont really exist or play the game of life and hence they cant get hurt. They live vicariously through others. Equating politicians to justify your political views is misrepresenting mental illness. Dont go around mixing two very complex topics which you seem to have a very elementary knowledge of just to make your life easier. You're living your own version of illusion which is also a trait of trauma.
@@007lutherking We need to recognize that animal empathy doesn't help us. You don't solve the systemic problem of hungry children by feeling bad about it.
@@NoWay1969 no such thing as animal empathy. Whatre you on about? People with cold empty are mentally ill. Look into cluster b personality disorder. You have no idea what youre talking about. You need a concept of mental illness.
I have calculated empathy
only with my friends ❤❤
psychopaths can underastand their behaviors i assure you,i was diagnosed as a psychopath and i reasarched what it means so i hate when people say if you know you are a psychopath then you are not one,dor fucks sake we are psychopathic not freaking retarded
jonathan andersen Yea most of you are pretty fucking smart
my friend is also a psychopath, he's not diagnosed
but I know how he acts,
he likes a lot of money and blood, he also smiles when he's stressed
but I love him he's very cool
he told me that he's evil, he enjoys beginning like that, he also has difficulty to say the truth about things
are u like him?
that's scary, that people never know that he is mad. that's definitely not good. and the revenge thing is pretty horrifying. most people, if they just refrain from reacting to their anger, often cool down and let it go. but holding onto the revenge is scary.
It's downright terrifying, and the reason you can not trust men like him. We as a society need to come together and recognize that no, these creatures are not good for us or society no matter how much they try and convince us that is the case. They are not benign, we can not coexist. As long as they are around, they will prey on normal people.
As someone who is likely psychopathic genetically, the best way for me to move in society is through observation. I observe my surroundings, and developed spacial, sensory and social awareness (social was hardest because I have under active limbic systems, and highly compartmentalized emotions because of it), which prevents most neurological triggers from over riding my brain and essentially "blacking out" and making decisions based on any unhinged emotion I have at that moment. I am very careful who I allow in my personal life and space because I know this about myself, and do not wish to hurt anyone, including my own psyche. Psychological damage is very very difficult to heal, and a lot of people, especially psychopaths, cannot do this. Imagine doing it without support because if you are open that you are psychopathic, not a single person is likely going to show empathy for you.
You don't need a brain scan if you can just look into his eyes
It's been a while, but this was a great upload for Big Think. I was starting to lose faith in this channel lol
the truth is we are all psychopaths to some extent, some more than others display they characteristics, but all are capable. people think im a saint, and yet when i get mad its like hell did a corporate takeover of earth.
that fact that a psychopath is more considerate and aware of their actions than most "normal" people lol
Psychopaths are charming. Like this guy to fit in the society. That is part of their personality.
But do not trust.
They will not sleep unless they get their revenge.
Their blood boils even many yrs until they get their "victory" for bringing revenge.
Will not change unless they do personal work like this guy. Especially stopping himself for revenge.
Adopting " let it go attitude + forgiveness + no revenge " is normal spectrum.
The first step of becoming a better man is revealing the darkniss inside one's self.
My God, just stop with your tongue
Abandoned Void He's the Big Pharma Joker... He kills through medication and psychiatric distribution, instead of physically hurting.
*TONGUE MOVEMENT INTENSIFIES* 0_0
7 years late to the party, but...
I'd say that the people who can tolerate and love these psychopaths are the sweetest kindest people, just so amazing and resilient and wholesome and easygoing. They don't deserve to be with a psychopath, but... somehow it works. I wish I knew how to spot them so I could get a girlfriend like that. My dad acts kinda psycho, but I know he's just being autistic...
"I have no record. But I have done some fun things." LOL
Honest dude
No- genetically predisposed to cause others pain and a pathological liar to boot- go look up what a psychopath is instead of falling for this guys pity plea.