Ted Cruz's Heated Airport Exchange, Unvaxxed Voters Love Trump & Giuliani’s Totally True Putin Story

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 2.7K

  • @sevenoreo
    @sevenoreo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +75

    As a Canadian, I love the bicycle slow roll for the convoy of nonsense

    • @PK-bh1ww
      @PK-bh1ww 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too It was hilarious! Wish I had thought of doing that and could. :-)

    • @andyreidsmustache9247
      @andyreidsmustache9247 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just wait until they get a convoy of bicycles.

  • @DB800187
    @DB800187 2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Rudy is certified batshit crazy!!😂😂

    • @JeepersCreepers58
      @JeepersCreepers58 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Don't say bat you may offend China. Don't say *** you may offend the ****. Etc. Wow, the US is really turning towards dictatorship. Thought we used to have freedom of speech. If it looks like a frog and hops like a frog and says ribbit, it's a freaking frog. You call it what it is. I'm not going to call my hamburger a filet mignon.

    • @jimmythebold589
      @jimmythebold589 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@JeepersCreepers58 irrelevant blather. non sequitur much?

    • @JeepersCreepers58
      @JeepersCreepers58 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jimmythebold589 My point has been made.

    • @peggyivey5828
      @peggyivey5828 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rudy took down the organized crime families in New York.

  • @andybaldman
    @andybaldman 2 ปีที่แล้ว +284

    Like Lindsey Graham’s ‘word’ means anything after the last statements he made regarding Supreme Court appointments.

    • @louisecollard2320
      @louisecollard2320 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      He sounded as drunk as he was after the riot

    • @peace4myheart
      @peace4myheart 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      He sounds like Putin promising a ceasefire

    • @deniseboldea1624
      @deniseboldea1624 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      The Judge already did a good job of refraining from laughing at Lindsey as he was speaking.

    • @deniseboldea1624
      @deniseboldea1624 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @Thomas Paine Don't you mean MAGA traitor?

    • @maryelizabeth6797
      @maryelizabeth6797 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      His word is about as valid as Rudy’s.

  • @doloresvillanueva2242
    @doloresvillanueva2242 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thanks for the stress release, Jibby Kibble. I love watching you!

  • @thomassicard3733
    @thomassicard3733 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thumbs up for all of your stuff, Jimmy.

  • @2bunnies254
    @2bunnies254 2 ปีที่แล้ว +499

    The cyclist is great. Watched him elsewhere and someone kept yelling at him about the trucks behind him and he kept yelling back "what, I can't here you". Doing al this just to aggravate the truckers.

    • @greatspirit
      @greatspirit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Ain't that just special...
      So many woke disinformation mules licking Creepy Kimmel's boot.

    • @mariatorres5563
      @mariatorres5563 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Were did you see him??

    • @nugboy420
      @nugboy420 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Where was this lol

    • @Foolish188
      @Foolish188 2 ปีที่แล้ว +61

      @@greatspirit Woke is the constant refrain of racists. Good work identifying yourself.

    • @aircraftcarrierwo-class
      @aircraftcarrierwo-class 2 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@greatspirit I hope Uncle Vlad pays you in something other than rubles, considering your precious dictator made your country's currency functionally worthless.

  • @badweathergaming4929
    @badweathergaming4929 2 ปีที่แล้ว +543

    The cyclist is perfect, you cant get mad at him for doing the exact thing they are doing (interfering traffic in protest). Big props to that guy.

    • @Cheeseburger.Launch.Sequence
      @Cheeseburger.Launch.Sequence 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      But they threw a hissy fit claiming ANTIFA interference.
      It's madness.

    • @garyberger9257
      @garyberger9257 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Cheeseburger.Launch.Sequence Both of you are talking BIG FACTS

    • @jefffuller9918
      @jefffuller9918 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      "How dare you protest us when we are protesting."

    • @williamplatt1641
      @williamplatt1641 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@Cheeseburger.Launch.Sequence well then the bicycle guy must be antifa. I always wondered what he looked like, since antifa gets blamed for so much gop interference by the people who create most of their own problems!

    • @boiledcrap
      @boiledcrap 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Props to him, I guess. But all it takes is one person to snap and realize the law of physics
      🚴💥🚛

  • @mrbroeders
    @mrbroeders 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    Cruz ' The captain will come up to me in tears, hug me and say Sir, sir, thank you for your service'. Straight BS right out of the Trump Book of Lies

    • @gregbors8364
      @gregbors8364 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nobody likes Ted Cruz. Toleration is the best he can expect

    • @mikehatfield1531
      @mikehatfield1531 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Service? What does he do?

  • @smokeydoke100
    @smokeydoke100 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I can't even imagine the damage he must have done to that poor city when he was mayor.

  • @furball8967
    @furball8967 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I just laughed the moment Rudy started to laugh 😂 ....they ALL looked ridiculous! Like some ghoulish television sitcom.

    • @jeanneratterman4174
      @jeanneratterman4174 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Creep-fest. Uerrrgh!

    • @blairbrown4812
      @blairbrown4812 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The whole reason the show is called, "Wiseguys," is because the entire cast is likely made up of mafiaoso that Rudy struggled for most of his young life to put away and now must work alongside because they are the only ones who will barely 🙄 tolerate him now.😒

    • @AlaneLane
      @AlaneLane 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I know 🤣🤣🤣

  • @lorenrenee1
    @lorenrenee1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +221

    To that cyclist-Never doubt one person can change the world.

    • @suzyrottencrotch5132
      @suzyrottencrotch5132 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Russia doing gods work

    • @frankrodriguezit
      @frankrodriguezit 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      🙏🏽👍🏽

    • @wellnative1
      @wellnative1 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ❤️💪🏽

    • @davel9514
      @davel9514 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@suzyrottencrotch5132 Killing people? Thanks for letting us know what your god is 🤣

    • @markzieg3593
      @markzieg3593 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@suzyrottencrotch5132

  • @sjchevalier07
    @sjchevalier07 2 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    That looks like the worst get together at the Olive Garden that I have ever seen!

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It looks like moments before somebody called Sal to take Angelo and have him "sleep with the fishes."

    • @paulcatalano8726
      @paulcatalano8726 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      No respectable Italian eats at olive garden.

    • @sjchevalier07
      @sjchevalier07 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@paulcatalano8726 Rudy isn’t a respectable anything, so…

    • @louisecollard2320
      @louisecollard2320 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Those patrons were given a few freebies to applaud for rudy.

    • @mcrestwood7378
      @mcrestwood7378 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      So glad we are shut of the rudy.....

  • @ymazz2921
    @ymazz2921 2 ปีที่แล้ว +72

    Oh cabbage. Nice tie Rudy. I'm sure the Ukrainians appreciate your "support".

    • @caroledmonds4070
      @caroledmonds4070 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Y Mazz, maybe Lev Parnas and Igor Fruman will beg to differ, though. They're in prison, awaiting trial,I think.

  • @ismith275
    @ismith275 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Love how Sal motivates! The young lady pushing Grandma at the end was adorable! 🥰

  • @catherineconti5222
    @catherineconti5222 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love ya Jimmy!!

  • @bartulis8036
    @bartulis8036 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    That bicyclist truly did bring a smile to my face

  • @lindawilliams429
    @lindawilliams429 2 ปีที่แล้ว +151

    Ted Cruz probably threw up that "do you know who I am" defense. Sir, everyone knows who you are. But not for the reasons you think.

    • @philipsoppe1948
      @philipsoppe1948 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      He should be put on no flyer lists

    • @dulcieparker7425
      @dulcieparker7425 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Especially at an airport. No.. we didn't forget, sir! Nice try. Any attention, even bad, is good, I guess. If that's all one can get!

    • @randyronny7735
      @randyronny7735 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I heard on a tube video that he did do that.

    • @hurithinkbefore1340
      @hurithinkbefore1340 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "Sir"?

    • @randyronny7735
      @randyronny7735 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@JDog_Unchained It was now on CBS and Inside Edition (with partial video).

  • @chrisjames3087
    @chrisjames3087 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Ted's own kids won't hug him.

  • @karilee6037
    @karilee6037 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    And if anyone watched the hearings, Senator Cruz was combative and abrasive. I’m embarrassed to admit I currently live and vote in Texas. Certainly not for him however,

    • @justisiempre4105
      @justisiempre4105 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @Kari Lee, Hopefully, you all will get him outta office next election cycle. He's........... exactly!¡

    • @peonyflowers23
      @peonyflowers23 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here. He’s such an embarrassment

    • @peggyivey5828
      @peggyivey5828 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So would you vote for Beto.

  • @johnsmedley5970
    @johnsmedley5970 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Giuliani looks like Simon Bar Sinister from the old Underdog commercials!

  • @Aalisrocklist
    @Aalisrocklist 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    someone from the Giuliani family please put Rudy in assisted living before he gets himself hurt or something ffs

    • @MultiMicelle
      @MultiMicelle 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sorry, but Biden needs to be in old people home more than Rudy, my god, falling down the steps to air force one, confused all the time, mumbling his speech, forgets where he is at... who, is really running our country?

    • @cryptnick_
      @cryptnick_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@MultiMicelle get bent, maga troll. President Biden fell UP the stairs, as it happens to many other people out there too, even if they're only half President Biden's age.
      trumpy, on the other hand, needed help and a General's hand to tiptoe DOWN a ramp. PATHETIC. 😂😂😂

    • @ToneTraveler
      @ToneTraveler 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@MultiMicelle I wanted to laugh, (who doesn’t want to laugh at the President?)but was impressed he got up by himself and sprinted a couple steps. Trump walking up the air force one steps with toilet paper on his heel…no fall can top the idiocy of that 😂

    • @cryptnick_
      @cryptnick_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@ToneTraveler Hahahaaa oh the toilet paper incident. That was hilarious. 😂

    • @MultiMicelle
      @MultiMicelle 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ToneTraveler didn't see that one...

  • @reverendmonique-mariebray2436
    @reverendmonique-mariebray2436 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    "The subtle racism jambory" = confirmation hearing. Good one!

  • @iChillypepper
    @iChillypepper 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    So far the trucker convoy has been destroyed by the DC Beltway, teenage girls flipping the bird, and bikes 😂🤣

    • @Brandon_388
      @Brandon_388 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Canada did it best 🇨🇦

  • @bullrider6264
    @bullrider6264 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Thanks Jimmy, this is a perfect reason why we are going to Vote BLUE and safe our Democracy and constitution from these morons.

    • @oldeskoolnana7543
      @oldeskoolnana7543 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you. ✌🌻

    • @peggyivey5828
      @peggyivey5828 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You voted for a dementia patient. It is not the conservatives trying to change the constitution.

    • @simplyformusic2974
      @simplyformusic2974 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I fell sad when I realised how much truth is being changed or obscured in the American media.

    • @ssglbc1875
      @ssglbc1875 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Biden sniffs girls hair and forgets what state he’s in and forgot what country was being invaded by iraq

    • @mikesmith3064
      @mikesmith3064 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      U have. Nerve. Look what that old man has done to our country in 2 yrs. How's gas? Hows inflation? How u like the war? You people are mindless sheep zombies created by the media.

  • @ritawarde5518
    @ritawarde5518 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    See how one person on a bicycle and a dream can make a huge difference thank you !!! 🇺🇸

  • @AlexSeverinski
    @AlexSeverinski 2 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    CanCruz also whined about the fact that Stacey Abrams had a cameo in the season finale of Star Trek Discovery. Now, I'm no fan of that show, but I think when you played a role in nearly bringing American democracy to an end, jet off to Cancun as your constituents die and then blame your daughters for it after you're shamed into coming back, you lose forever and always any right to be considered seriously by any normal thinking person.

    • @charlesg7926
      @charlesg7926 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Dude I hate to state the obvious but nobody gives a crap about Covid anymore. We’re concerned about the rapidly rising cost of living, high inflation, high gas prices, and WW3 on the horizon. Nobody cares about Covid anymore bro

    • @sallykelty8238
      @sallykelty8238 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @@charlesg7926
      Uhhhhhh.....WRONG. 😧

    • @antifa1370
      @antifa1370 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I heard he used the old "do you know who I am?" ultimate Karen trope.

    • @AC3handle
      @AC3handle 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@antifa1370 male karen. Or...Malren.

    • @beesnort3163
      @beesnort3163 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I feel so bad for his kids! I would rather have Charles Manson be my dad than that thing.

  • @robertdraper5782
    @robertdraper5782 2 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    I bet Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson doesn't cry during her conformation so they will just call her emotionless.

    • @petergallo7997
      @petergallo7997 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Do you think she likes Cerveza 🍻 like Kavanaugh

    • @pannachawangkul585
      @pannachawangkul585 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Confirmation?

    • @robertdraper5782
      @robertdraper5782 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@pannachawangkul585 See that's what happens when you mix pain killers and beer.

    • @richlantz3442
      @richlantz3442 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@pannachawangkul585 BWAHAHAHA...😂🤣...RIGHT....!?!?

    • @ToneTraveler
      @ToneTraveler 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And she better wear her American flag pin! Obama throw back. The idiot Maga nuts don’t realize this all was done by the Tea Party over 10 years ago.

  • @sophistichistory4645
    @sophistichistory4645 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Rudy Giuliani......."Recount Dracula".
    That's gold, Jerry.......GOLD!!!

  • @acikawu-tang5178
    @acikawu-tang5178 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yesterday here in Windsor Ontario Canada across Detroit Michigan, we don't have to wear masks any more. And I don't have any shot's, and never got flue shot's ever in my life. Thank God. Let's see, hopefully this lasts.

  • @twistedviewlabs
    @twistedviewlabs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sal with the clutch throwback - "Mayor Tom Bradley!". With that, I have a sudden urge to listen to Randy Newman

  • @lonestarhero81
    @lonestarhero81 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Poor Ted Cruz, he's desperate for a hug, even his daughter won't hug him.😢🤮

    • @egrace3738
      @egrace3738 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I take comfort that all this is recorded so his daughters will be able to see what a smuck their daddy is.

    • @elizabethgrogan8553
      @elizabethgrogan8553 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@egrace3738 His actual name is Raphael Edward Cruz. Looks like he wants to be white

    • @nicholasfarrell5981
      @nicholasfarrell5981 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@elizabethgrogan8553 Rafael*

    • @lonestarhero81
      @lonestarhero81 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nicholasfarrell5981 Rafael Eduardo Cruz 😆😅🤣😂

    • @ilovefunnyamv2nd
      @ilovefunnyamv2nd 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can you blame them? Their arms are still in a full cast from that time he threw them under the bus for his trip to Cancun. They may not be able to give hugs for quite a few years

  • @cyriewilson3170
    @cyriewilson3170 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    If they’re hugging Ted Cruz; it to subtlety check him for a weapon.

  • @juliebiggerbear7300
    @juliebiggerbear7300 2 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    That woman DID NOT want to sit next to Rudy 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @billycloudy9078
      @billycloudy9078 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yeah and I don’t think those “diners” in the background are excited to be clapping for him…. They are definitely getting paid!!🤣

  • @drbelanger73
    @drbelanger73 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That biker is my new hero. 🤣

  • @224catlinc
    @224catlinc 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you, Jimmy!

  • @DavidMcFarner
    @DavidMcFarner 2 ปีที่แล้ว +134

    If Cruze could continue to cover his face after the pandemic, that would be GREAT.

    • @MsKeebe
      @MsKeebe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Cover that poorly made merkin!

    • @peggyivey5828
      @peggyivey5828 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I vote for Bidens wife to cover her face.

    • @michaelaitken2631
      @michaelaitken2631 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I agree. He could use a plastic bag.... 👍

    • @msizzygirl1
      @msizzygirl1 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@peggyivey5828 would love to see what you look like! Mrs. Biden is a beautiful, successful woman that your type is alway so jealous of! You are probably living off the government with your brother and 10 children!

    • @chrisrobinson2221
      @chrisrobinson2221 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Which one? Hell, he got so many. And none good enough to look at.

  • @trishhunt4085
    @trishhunt4085 2 ปีที่แล้ว +287

    The best line in this monologue is "can we put the owner down?" My thoughts exactly, Jimmy.

    • @patrician3821
      @patrician3821 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I was about to write it but you beat me…

    • @garyberger9257
      @garyberger9257 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@patrician3821 Me too.

    • @bikingal4283
      @bikingal4283 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I thought this was an alpha male thing, proving dominance over the other dog... gee what a smart owner...

    • @markzieg3593
      @markzieg3593 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      I’m just glad they gave the dog up. A person like that doesn’t deserve the unconditional love only a dog can give. I hope the little fella finds a happy and kind forever home.

    • @youdonthavetoreadthispost.5850
      @youdonthavetoreadthispost.5850 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@bikingal4283 That's exactly what it is. Would he rather they fight it out? His dog must think he's an idiot!

  • @janlam01
    @janlam01 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    I like it when the post the monologue before the actual air time on TV. (I'm in eastern time).

  • @marylarson4905
    @marylarson4905 2 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    I like her. She's smart and calm. She has to put up with this over blown blow hards

    • @commonsense.1014
      @commonsense.1014 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@melaniecotterell8263 reported as spam.
      I'm sorry meant to say misinformation.

    • @davidtrujillo848
      @davidtrujillo848 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey 👋🏼 ou lmk

    • @edfisher1109
      @edfisher1109 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      🤣

  • @annettekeel5252
    @annettekeel5252 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You and your staff ROCK!!!

  • @ajulianrobertsjr
    @ajulianrobertsjr 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    You should find that cyclist and bring him on your show!

  • @terrencethomas2954
    @terrencethomas2954 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    Airline stewardess: "I'd rather hug a cactus."

  • @MorganMalfoy13
    @MorganMalfoy13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    Ted's getting random hugs like I'm winning the lottery every week. Without buying a lotto ticket.

    • @douglasdavis8395
      @douglasdavis8395 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      "They come up to me, big, strong men, who have never cried, and they have tears in their eyes, and they say, "Sir, thank you for..."

    • @emart6156
      @emart6156 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Is cancun Cruz the humpy or the humper.

    • @donelltarver7371
      @donelltarver7371 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😂🤣😂

    • @bgonza2
      @bgonza2 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@emart6156 E Mart, since you mentioned Cancun, in reference to Ted Cruz, may I please know what is your honest general opinion regarding México, Mexicans, and Mexican culture both good and/or bad? I'm just curious thank you.

  • @lumpy0100
    @lumpy0100 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks Jimmy Kimmel, Guillermo Rodriguez Et Al🙂.

  • @piafunesbakker5095
    @piafunesbakker5095 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Jimmy ❣️😃

  • @akmediascope
    @akmediascope 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Good news about our wonderful new judge. Cousin Sal was hilarious! Thanks for the laughs, Jiimmy

  • @llandrin9205
    @llandrin9205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    I won't trust Manchin and Sinema not to vote against Judge Jackson until after the vote takes place.

    • @peonyflowers23
      @peonyflowers23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Manchin confirmed yesterday that he will vote for her. 🙌🏽

    • @PK-bh1ww
      @PK-bh1ww 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Michael As if :biology is simple.. If it was then cruz and bone heads would be able to understand it. And the difference between "gender identity" and "sexual identity". .

    • @peggyivey5828
      @peggyivey5828 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      She is replacing a far left Judge so it will not be any difference in the decision making

    • @peggyivey5828
      @peggyivey5828 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@PK-bh1ww Gender identity is crazy. Define gender now compared to what it has been defined.

  • @markstevens1729
    @markstevens1729 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    OMFG! That NewsMax show was ridiculously post-ironic for Rudy at the “mob sit down.”
    That’s after the whole concept of the show: a well-lit, centre-of-the-restaurant mob sit down cheered by the other diners.
    Darkness becomes light.

  • @twill9278
    @twill9278 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Former Cruz Harvard classmate; "You always knew when Ted was around, and not in a good way."

  • @bobbybricenojr5788
    @bobbybricenojr5788 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Loving the cousin Sal at the marathon segment...freakin hilarious 😂

  • @MSolomon751
    @MSolomon751 2 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    That scene of Rudy laughing with them goons has me dying 😂 so dry. It was perfect

    • @oneirishpoet
      @oneirishpoet 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Exactly, like a scene outta Good Fellas

    • @vanessawaters4852
      @vanessawaters4852 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      so creepy

    • @badweathergaming4929
      @badweathergaming4929 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      First thing I thought of is how it looked like a scene from an Italian mob movie. The outfits, the mannerisms, the look of the restaurant it was all perfect.

    • @utubby3730
      @utubby3730 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Just like the phone call!!

    • @ToneTraveler
      @ToneTraveler 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      When Rudy sneezes children’s under garments fall out of his pant legs and pockets all over the ground. He just shrugs “Children, churches, hehe, legal fees”.

  • @ahlija
    @ahlija 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    Glad rudy didnt try to “tuck his shirt in” when he saw the brunette at his table 😂😂

    • @Wildstar40
      @Wildstar40 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I thought Rudy was going to reach in his coat like he's going for a gun and break out his Remington electric shaver and have a shave at the table.

    • @ToneTraveler
      @ToneTraveler 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rudy was going to molested that poor girl in Borat. It’s on camera, he was busted big time. No repercussions for King Baby’s lawyer though. Rudy is a sick perv, like most Republicans.

    • @CT-vm4gf
      @CT-vm4gf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lucky she didn’t make him blush and start sweating black liquid.

    • @carlawilkinson4843
      @carlawilkinson4843 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It was like a comedy skit😂

    • @dulcieparker7425
      @dulcieparker7425 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      o f u now I'm gonna have nightmares tonite! dammit

  • @gwick358
    @gwick358 2 ปีที่แล้ว +259

    Thank God that dog is safe. Those people are too stupid to own a dog.

    • @clberka
      @clberka 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      Yes. that dog could have been put down. What the hell is wrong with people. We don't deserve dogs. They're too good for us.

    • @lorifrier8921
      @lorifrier8921 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I live in Stanly County, 😳. ! I about choked 😆 when I heard that ... small town NC is very interesting to put it nicely! A LOT of the trump loonies.... I really don’t fit in here lol...

    • @inthenameofthefather.7240
      @inthenameofthefather.7240 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      That's why I love dogs more than people.

    • @SJ-vb3tg
      @SJ-vb3tg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      My wife was a vet tech way back when...and some of reasons they wanted the dog put down was just as vacuous... At least the owner took the dog to a shelter

    • @M_SC
      @M_SC 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It’s a step up they took him to a shelter as in the past they would have beaten him, possibly to death. The psychos are less violent than they were

  • @sherryo360
    @sherryo360 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you sir!!!

  • @charmainequalaty8904
    @charmainequalaty8904 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love Jimmy Kimmel live a Way to go Jimmy Kimmel you rock

  • @garrettq1977
    @garrettq1977 2 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    Given the choice of meeting Ted Cruz, I'd rather have a kidney stone.

    • @davidanderson_surrey_bc
      @davidanderson_surrey_bc 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Better a temporary pain in the urethra than a permanent pain in the rectum eh.

    • @Bidenfriend
      @Bidenfriend 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes freedom of speech I hate !!!

    • @ToneTraveler
      @ToneTraveler 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      With friends like Ted, who needs flesh eating diseases

    • @alfonsogutierrez1392
      @alfonsogutierrez1392 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      His wife was praised by trump

    • @tobiashoyden2644
      @tobiashoyden2644 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Worst pain I've ever endured. Wouldn't wish it on my enemies.
      But I agree with You 1000%

  • @OzzyInSpace
    @OzzyInSpace 2 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    I'm so thankful these monologues are posted on TH-cam now... I literally look forward to these every night/following morning.

    • @MA1-BEE
      @MA1-BEE 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Right? It's like 'coming home to normal people'.

    • @charlesg7926
      @charlesg7926 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Dude I hate to state the obvious but nobody gives a crap about Covid anymore. We’re concerned about the rapidly rising cost of living, high inflation, high gas prices, and WW3 on the horizon. Nobody cares about Covid anymore bro

    • @dlarta7265
      @dlarta7265 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      why?

    • @charlesg7926
      @charlesg7926 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@dlarta7265 because Biden is printing a ton of money for useless stuff- which devalues our currency, and the USA is not becoming energy independent and the Democrat party is purposely throwing America under the bus. That’s why

    • @Swish_God
      @Swish_God 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes!!! Fr!😃😄

  • @guitarcatlind6075
    @guitarcatlind6075 2 ปีที่แล้ว +263

    Massive respect for that biker. Imagine when the truckers get to DC and people are like "Yeah, the mask mandate isn't a thing anymore."
    Edit: I guess they're going to think that someone in the government said, "Hey, look at those truckers doing they're job. Let's remove the mask madate!"

    • @michaeljust1193
      @michaeljust1193 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      They are still masking kids .
      How is it "not a thing anymore " ?

    • @sarawilliams3190
      @sarawilliams3190 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@michaeljust1193 no they're not. Most schools are mask optional in my area, and I'm in a true blue New England state.

    • @dozzer009
      @dozzer009 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@michaeljust1193
      Nope…and I’m in California.

    • @ToneTraveler
      @ToneTraveler 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@michaeljust1193 Yeah, um, that Trucker rally isn’t about masks or mandates. It’s just another Trump rally. They lie, watch the live streams.

    • @michaeljust1193
      @michaeljust1193 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sarawilliams3190 I take it back if I'm mistaken , however I believe New York still have a mask mandate in place for schoolkids . ( child abuse )
      Is this not true ?

  • @marievignolo5449
    @marievignolo5449 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "Trumpsylvania" and "Recount Dracula" killed me.

  • @christopherschmidt1469
    @christopherschmidt1469 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Why does Ted keep having issues with airports? Think he should stick to just driving and not be allowed to leave DC unless he can fly home with the other state Senator to Texas. He needs to be in timeout for a long time for his disrespect to airport staff.

  • @Tadicuslegion78
    @Tadicuslegion78 2 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    Ted Cruz: People hug me and thank me for my service.
    Me: Because of course that's what the Zodiac Killer would say as he's killing his victims

    • @silverblue73
      @silverblue73 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      with those cold dead eyes

    • @RebeccaMcCagueSipe
      @RebeccaMcCagueSipe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      NOBODY is accusing Cruz of killing people. You're absurd.

    • @praxis6172
      @praxis6172 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@RebeccaMcCagueSipe that's something the zodiac killer would want you to think!

    • @Bidenfriend
      @Bidenfriend 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@praxis6172 woke culture is sickening

    • @ToneTraveler
      @ToneTraveler 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@praxis6172 They know nothing of Buckethead

  • @manfredbartels4124
    @manfredbartels4124 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Hey Jimmy, you should find one of these Cruz-hugging-flight crews and invite same to the show.

    • @tgr.4550
      @tgr.4550 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good idea

  • @Al69BfR
    @Al69BfR 2 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    „Things that never happened“ for 800. If flight attendees and pilots are so happy to see Ted Cruz, there would be so much videos and selfies with him and airport employees showing him hugging them. You know, what people are doing if they love something.

    • @michelehemlokhexwhite4310
      @michelehemlokhexwhite4310 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Lol! 😍😂

    • @BarnaclesBailey
      @BarnaclesBailey 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      He just pulled a Trump playbook move.. Trump had said something almost the same, paraphrasing here: "these big tough guys were coming up to me crying saying thank you sir We couldn't have done it without you sir". So stupid. How are people fooled by this?!

    • @rickkeeton9246
      @rickkeeton9246 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I think Ted Cruz had been drinking and got mixed up, he wasn’t hugging the flight crew, it was trumps tiny nuts!

    • @joshua.harazin
      @joshua.harazin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@BarnaclesBailey I was just about to ask if these random flight attendants are calling him "sir". 🤣

    • @youdonthavetoreadthispost.5850
      @youdonthavetoreadthispost.5850 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      They're keeping the duct-tape handy.

  • @drewmiller3462
    @drewmiller3462 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "Why is she sleeping? She passed away Wednesday" omg I've never laughed so hard in my life.

  • @JoeMama-bk7rd
    @JoeMama-bk7rd 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes, let's divert our eyes from what's really going on.

  • @colmastro4373
    @colmastro4373 2 ปีที่แล้ว +268

    Every day rudy becomes more and more the Mad Hatter from 1952's alice in wonderland lol. From his look, his psychosis and definitely his voice

    • @richardarriaga6271
      @richardarriaga6271 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I still think he works for Mr Shadow given his black goo incident on his head.

    • @davespanksalot8413
      @davespanksalot8413 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@richardarriaga6271 Nice reference! That came out 25 years ago, I'm feeling so old these days...

    • @ghostpine
      @ghostpine 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@ianarmstrong9594 ha,ha,ha,not

    • @janetseidlitz5976
      @janetseidlitz5976 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He sounds like my uncle did just before being diagnosed with stomach cancer.

    • @Rhiannon011
      @Rhiannon011 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I keep thinking of Rudy as "of very low intelligence" version of "the joker".

  • @cassiejones1986
    @cassiejones1986 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    Oh Jimmy, that marathon skit was priceless. I could not stop laughing. Thank you for putting a smile on my and many others faces in these really dark times.

  • @Chuck791
    @Chuck791 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Cousin Sal is fricken hilarious. Thanks !!

  • @TheLastChickenWing
    @TheLastChickenWing 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    that cyclist deserves a trophy. He should have training wheels and a squeeky honking horn or bell on the bars. on a pink bike.

    • @4613tan
      @4613tan 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      0⁰⁰

  • @reverendbStaard
    @reverendbStaard 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    MAKE TED CRUZ
    IRRELEVANT AGAIN😐

  • @shenanikenz
    @shenanikenz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Oh god, I’m genuinely horrified at the ovation for Giuliani

    • @shenanikenz
      @shenanikenz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh god, I continued and it got worse..

    • @TheBasher-_-
      @TheBasher-_- 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I mean why be surprised Hillary said in 2016 these are a handbag of the most deplorable people you've ever met.

    • @shenanikenz
      @shenanikenz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheBasher-_- frankly idgaf what Hillary said about anything at all 😂

  • @gljm
    @gljm 2 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    As an American of Italian descent, I am embarrassed by the Newsmax segment.

    • @WBKimmons
      @WBKimmons 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Who cares

    • @misterdeeds2172
      @misterdeeds2172 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I'm not Italian and I'm embarrassed. It think this goes well beyond ethnic stereotyping.

    • @loookaroundyou
      @loookaroundyou 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@WBKimmons Lol I guess you did enough to comment. Or maybe you're highly invested in not caring.

    • @stumblingmumbler
      @stumblingmumbler 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@loookaroundyou 🤣

    • @tomjones2166
      @tomjones2166 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      eh whatcha gonna do? Im walkin here!

  • @Leonaza7
    @Leonaza7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    Senator Cruz isn’t special. He needs to be a law abiding citizen. Party of law and order, right?

    • @YUMLiberalTears
      @YUMLiberalTears 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You cloud fly a plane between that gap in your teeth.

    • @gamepapa1211
      @gamepapa1211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      "YOU can't break the law! I CAN, though." - Republicans

    • @SuperLeica1
      @SuperLeica1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      His Doctor told Ded Cruz: "You've got vacuum in your head!" Cruz replied: "But I'm not blonde". Doctor: That's what make you special!"

  • @hughjorgan2888
    @hughjorgan2888 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Did you experience any unexpected interruptions along the way".
    Hilirious!!!😎😎😎🤣🤣🤣

  • @Mad4Wx
    @Mad4Wx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Keep feeding this nations ignorance. You're fantastic.

  • @dannysart3990
    @dannysart3990 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    They should have casted Rudy Giuliani as the penguin in the new Batman movie, would have saved tons of money on makeup affects.

    • @cleverusername9369
      @cleverusername9369 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He would've been too cartoonish and unbelievable. Danny Devito was a far more subtle and nuanced Penguin than Rudy would be.

    • @charlesg7926
      @charlesg7926 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Dude I hate to stay the obvious but nobody gives a crap about Covid anymore. We’re concerned about the rapidly rising cost of living, high inflation, high gas prices, and WW3 on the horizon. Nobody cares about Covid anymore bro

    • @cleverusername9369
      @cleverusername9369 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@charlesg7926 well this is a wildly irrelevant addition to the conversation being had about Rudy playing the Penguin in a Batman movie.... did you post this in the right place?

    • @richardarmstrong5014
      @richardarmstrong5014 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ohhh sorry. Roger Stone already called dibs on it! But I hear Simon Barr Sinister role is still available!

    • @charlesg7926
      @charlesg7926 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @John Wick that awkward moment when you care about a few unvaccinated people dying from Covid (even though they can get the vaccine anytime), but you don’t care about the fact that millions of people are gonna die from World War III thanks to crazy Joe

  • @1927su
    @1927su 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I like how Cohen calls him Rudy colludeeee lol

  • @dawnadriana1764
    @dawnadriana1764 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    That fake McDonald's ad was priceless. A good laugh is so rare these days...

    • @chrisaranda8910
      @chrisaranda8910 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The Pat McAfee Show gives out great laughs daily 😁

    • @Wurmminister
      @Wurmminister 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Actually, It was no fake

    • @unorthodoxwarlock3685
      @unorthodoxwarlock3685 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I haven’t laughed at Jimmy Kimmel since 2004

  • @Schoolpsych1969
    @Schoolpsych1969 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Rudy struggled to find his words and his “friends” laughed… b/c they knew they were being recorded. 🙄
    Ted always overestimates his importance.
    Love the bicyclist!

  • @astralfluxaf
    @astralfluxaf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The marathon was hilarious 😆

  • @stuckn.derplahoma562
    @stuckn.derplahoma562 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    From America's mayor to Treason's jester.

    • @serpentines6356
      @serpentines6356 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @John Smith How's all that begging Biden is doing with terrorist state Iran, using a Russian mediator, eh?

  • @Opus313
    @Opus313 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    ...and this after Cruz claimed airline staff love him so much!

  • @jpistolas
    @jpistolas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    $20 says she won't cry like Kavanaugh during the hearing.

    • @nicholasfarrell5981
      @nicholasfarrell5981 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      $40 says she won't threaten revenge during the hearing like Kavanaugh.

    • @jessicajaramillo911
      @jessicajaramillo911 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      And she won’t say that she loves beer 🍺 😂😂😂

    • @Ixnatifual
      @Ixnatifual 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      $60 she never sexually assaulted anybody.

  • @jerredmillirons3677
    @jerredmillirons3677 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sigh, will they EVER go away?

  • @cindykaywebster4643
    @cindykaywebster4643 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Loved the marathon video!

  • @jamespruitt4756
    @jamespruitt4756 2 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    that cyclist is a legend.
    HOLDIN UP TRAFFIC LIKE A PRO! 👍
    holy crap 41 likes in a half hour? NOICE!

    • @fuckyoutube4changingmyusername
      @fuckyoutube4changingmyusername 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeap..therefore nobody can get mad at Truckers for holding up traffic and for causing distress from their honking. The trucks are simply honking at the bicyclist. Great pròp to put a bicyclist in front and blame it on the left...hahahaha

    • @silverblue73
      @silverblue73 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@fuckyoutube4changingmyusername They can honk all they like, it won't do anything for them

    • @fuckyoutube4changingmyusername
      @fuckyoutube4changingmyusername 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@silverblue73
      The Left didn't like it in Canada.

    • @jamespruitt4756
      @jamespruitt4756 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@fuckyoutube4changingmyusername America's hat sadly aint their MAGA hats. Shoulda just had canada keep em. I dont want em >_

  • @cleanmyshorts1
    @cleanmyshorts1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Another great one! I needed the laugh today thx guys✌❤🤣

  • @jerushamaxwell281
    @jerushamaxwell281 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Cousin Sal and Aunt Chippy - Jimmy's relatives too, have great comedic timing!!!😂

  • @davidlang9939
    @davidlang9939 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    THE NEWSMAX CLIP PURGED MY BREAKFAST!!

  • @Adjunify
    @Adjunify 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    GOP to Ketanji Brown: Do you even boof, bro?

  • @skycloud7637
    @skycloud7637 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Ted "Karen" Cruz...perfect!

  • @aliciachristopher6506
    @aliciachristopher6506 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    They should confirm her after one day of hearings.

    • @dulcieparker7425
      @dulcieparker7425 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      o u! smh. the arguements I go back then. Still fresh in my head. I just can't. but thanks for the joke, I'm gonna tell that person next time i talk to him.."Yeah, what about those one day hearings on the latest nomindee"? and see the blank look. "Huh?"

    • @Brandon_388
      @Brandon_388 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What??

  • @NewMessage
    @NewMessage 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Imagine what those flight attendants must do to Ted's inflight meal...

    • @daisyelmir1289
      @daisyelmir1289 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Can we give them all a standing o?!
      👏🌼

    • @biancajade728
      @biancajade728 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😂😂😂

    • @DonaBlancas
      @DonaBlancas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This guy fly's coach, no meal just chips and soda.

    • @pablocruise678
      @pablocruise678 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I’m a bus driver in Vegas… I’m so dumbfounded by the way we are treated. You wouldn’t treat your mailman like passengers do. You wouldn’t treat your grocery clerk, garbage man, mechanic, etc… anybody who provides a service… I stand with your comment!!! Careful people, tread lightly.

    • @davidwoods7408
      @davidwoods7408 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Lets give those flight attendants some ideas...... lol

  • @vuksgitau
    @vuksgitau 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Spring is absolutely the best season 🥰🥰🥰

  • @lilithrogers5204
    @lilithrogers5204 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh, Wow, what a Show!! Thanks for the laughs--and the Marathon--wow!

  • @tvdinner325
    @tvdinner325 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    No mention of Anita Hill? Moscow Mitch must have forgotten.

  • @TonyStark-xr2om
    @TonyStark-xr2om 2 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Quick question.
    Did Brown-Jackson cry at her confirmation?
    Or just Kavanaugh?

    • @parrisprice5892
      @parrisprice5892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She never once said ' i like beer'

  • @susiesweet8003
    @susiesweet8003 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    That's the funniest Cousin Sal I've seen. 😂 🤣

  • @stephaniebarrett8057
    @stephaniebarrett8057 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Just spit out my coke with the new McDonalds in Russia!!! Love your show Jimmy! The Cousin should have his own show!

  • @Cravenfester
    @Cravenfester 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    best joke he ever made "put the owner down". finally, a good piece of advice wrapped in a giggle.