She can give her kids allowance if she wants. She would no longer have rent to pay, so she'd have extra money. Her entitlement over money and a home that don't belong to her is atrocious. I'm quite sure that she was trying to baby trap him, thinking she'd get to inherit all of it and him making it clear that wasn't going to happen, allowed her true colors to shine through. I'm glad that he called it all off. It's best for him and his current children. He will be FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE when it comes to custody/visitation of their coming child. She is going to do everything she can to make it as hard as possible for him and get as much child support as possible. I wouldn't put it past her to use the fact she has 4 other children to attempt to get more financial support from him. Hopefully the judge will see through that.
yeah I thought that was annoying, too. Stacy is going to suddenly be out-numbered 4 to 1!! Or 5 to 1 if you count fiance Alice too and obviously we have to since she has no care for OP's daughter at all. AND the daughter is giving up an additional room she had sole use of AND Alice's 4 kids are still getting an upgrade in living conditions. AND think about all the shared space, maneuvering around 5 extra people in the kitchen, and you know those kids'll probably all generally take over the living room, too, etc. I doubt Alice's kids would even care but if they did and I were Alice, I'd be talking to my own kids about appreciating the extras they're getting PLUS pointing that even though OP's daughter has her own room, she already graciously gave up space for them and is willing to share more, even though she never lived with even 4 people total, her whole life. I'm glad OP is doing the right thing. Too bad he's having a baby with selfish, crazy Alice or I'd say just kick her to the curb. As crummy as this all is, at least it's nice to hear a parent stick up for their kid when too many of the blended-family situations seem to be parents treating their first batch of kids like the first batch of pancakes.
Yes. Candy and Dusty both really get it. I'm from a blended families. Granted no marriages until I was about 19 yo, so it was easier. But even among bio-siblings, "life's not fair" and you don't always get exactly the same. Likewise then with step-siblings, different kids got different help from our parents according to circumstances, and none of us batted an eye about it. "It'll all work out in the end!" 😁 In my 20s, I ended up with a used car my step-Dad just GAVE me outright ... after all his 4 kids had had it... so yeah that was beat UP. 😂 But I wouldn't have been GIVEN a car at all if not for my step-Dad! There were FUNNY things, too, like my step-Dad bought a more expensive beer I liked even though he usually got cheapest for everybody. My Mom bought iced coffee for one of my step-bros -- like think of Starbucks you can get at the convenience store... but it was an even BETTER brand! We all grew up frugal. Of course our parents had more money with all of us out of the house and it was nice of them to get us more treats for visits than they could afford when we were younger. But we would all just rib each other about it. Do "snarky" voice for these: "Ohh, NOW you buy iced coffee because TOM likes iced coffee." "Ohhh, JW gets the better beer." 😂 It all works out in the end! IF you do it right! I kinda feel bad for Alice's kids and even for Alice. They all could have had a better life if Alice didn't have so many issues or just bad attitude or whatever it was. OP seemed to have a really good balance to have blended well. AND Stacy! She's definitely not spoiled! Willing to give things up and then asked if it was her fault when OP told her Alice won't be moving in! I'm glad they dodged the bullet. But it's sad for Alice and her kids. Some people just don't get it that sometimes the more pushy you are, the more you're going to lose and push away.
100% agree with everything Candy Thunder said. I hope he gets full custody of the baby, or at least gets it the majority of the time, because this lady is toxic.
@tohrurikku: Assuming the child I'd actually his. It seems like she definitely targeted him because she could squeeze herself and her kids into the house and just pull the rug from under him. At some point, I started singing "Golddigger" to myself.
Red Flags galore! And Alice should be paying more because she is bringing in a lot of kids, plus she's demanding way too much! Don't let her move in! It will be hell! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
OP is NTA!!! Why don’t dad move his office to the basement and put the baby in the smallest room and GFs daughter go to the office. This GF has all kinds of red flags! OP needs to rethink everything about GF!
Truth time- H chose to not to wear a condom. He is just as guilty as her. Sex sole purpose was to make babies. nothing is no 100% guaranteed contraceptive. There was no trickery mentioned. Also, STDs exist. Op needs to be told " instead of being on reddit. Get a lawyer that specialize in child custody and is good. MAKE SURE TO GET A DNA TEST. When the baby is confirm to be your's. MAKE SURE YOUR NAME IS PUT ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE.". She can f- over Op by not putting his name on it. What i mean is "closed adoption".
Um, I am married to my husband and we have 2 kids together. I am so blessed that our daughter has the same kind of relationship with her dad! He will always put our kids first, even if something happens and I am not around!
Wow OPs deal with his daughter is brilliant. It respects her autonomy and privacy. She is about to be outnumbered by Alice's kids. She needs that security especially when it is really her house, she is set to inherit it! When my dad moved my half siblings into the house I had to buy a lock and put it on myself. My half sibs were going into my room and stealing my stuff (all kinds of jealously from them because their mother was a bizzo and delulu telling them lies about us). If you are blending families into an established house never force kids that have lived their whole life to give up their room. That is their sanctuary!
I'm kind of surprised a nursery would go in the basement? the rest is okay, but ....shouldn't a new baby be closer to the parents. Did I misunderstand that?
Don't move you daughter from her room but also don't put the baby in the basement, build a cool space for the boys down there. PLEASE OP keep your finances separate and get on that prenup. Just finished the video, thank god he walked away.
I'm wondering what her 4 kids perspective is... they were getting a nice upgrade, now they are likely getting a downgrade, and adding a 5th kid to the downgrade. It sounds like they've kept the kids out of their relationship so far, neither sounds at all attached to the others kids, but he only expected her to pay 20% of the household expenses, when she's bringing in 5 people. And I'm assuming she receives child support for those 4, if she wanted to them to get a huge allowance, she should have been able to give it to them with all the money she's saving living off of him anyway. If this was all about money, she messed up because it sounds like she was getting a pretty good deal even with the stipulations he made.
Absolutely not. I’m sorry he did say that he finished paying that house off with his wife’s life insurance which means that’s his house. That’s his daughter and And it’s their decisions to make about what room goes to who. Also, if that woman doesn’t like it, she can kick rocks. I know that she’s pregnant with his kid come on you’re just using him. They need to leave and your kid alone.
OP is NTA, but I will say giving his daughter $100/wk is setting her up for failure unless she’s doing enough work at home to deserve it. That kind of money will make a kid entitled if it’s just being handed to them
Uhhhh….Just Why are you moving Alice & her herd in ??? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩‼️ (baby trap???)…Yes, Candy we thought the same thing … he dodged the A-bomb…not a little bullet ‼️👍
@@aralornwolf3140 yeah, he didn't sound like he was hurting for cash at all, and he says housing is pricey where he lives.. but even if he's a billionaire, I don't think a teen ager needs to get handed a hundred bucks a week.. the rest I have no issues with.
@@sallyjopatriot, Sure, it's a bit much... but not outside of the realm of reasonableness (for the super rich). She is after all, going to get a second hand car for her 16th B-day. *Shrugs* I remember one story in which OP promised his kid sister 5,000 to help pay for a car.... and the parents bought her a 60k Jeep instead of the used car he explicitly told them to get. Which of the two girls are learning money doesn't grow on trees?
BS ,the new woman needs to back the F off, there is no way in hell she should have to give up her bedroom. She already willingly gave up her other space. Wow stepmother you are off to a great start being the wicked stepmother. GOOD LUCK. This is a good man that he is putting his child first. He should probably wait to move in, it is starting off terribly.
I agree with Candy and said as much on the OG post. She was jealous of his daughter and their relationship. VENI. VICI. VINI. Divide and Conquer. Those insecurities and that level of toxicity has no place in a loving blended family. They could have tried family therapy and couples counseling if she actually loved OP but obviously no she was trying to sow the seeds of discord. She was shamelessly attempting to manipulate, control, gaslight, and make it known SHE WAS LARGE AND IN CHARGE. I respect OP because I agree your child comes first not the spouse. I have told my brothers and all of their friends this. When you have children they not your new partner comes first. That is unless they are a budding Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahlmer, Jack the Ripper, Belle Gunness, Aileen Wuornos or Ezerbet Bathory, if so then everyone needs to GTFO of dodge.
Her being mad at the locked door is screaming red flag at me
So is the fact that OP is engaged to a woman 14 years his junior. Love is love, but age gaps like that don’t sit right with me
What about no free babysitting
I agree with Candy Thunder. She got pregnant on purpose.
He needs a paternity test. . . .
She can give her kids allowance if she wants. She would no longer have rent to pay, so she'd have extra money. Her entitlement over money and a home that don't belong to her is atrocious. I'm quite sure that she was trying to baby trap him, thinking she'd get to inherit all of it and him making it clear that wasn't going to happen, allowed her true colors to shine through.
I'm glad that he called it all off. It's best for him and his current children. He will be FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE when it comes to custody/visitation of their coming child. She is going to do everything she can to make it as hard as possible for him and get as much child support as possible. I wouldn't put it past her to use the fact she has 4 other children to attempt to get more financial support from him. Hopefully the judge will see through that.
He does need a paternity test before paying one dime of support. But, she's not very far in the pregnancy, she could be pretending to be pregnant.
OP's new girlfriend has 4 KIDS OF HER OWN and is complaining they don't get special treatment over OP's actual daughter...NTA
yeah I thought that was annoying, too. Stacy is going to suddenly be out-numbered 4 to 1!! Or 5 to 1 if you count fiance Alice too and obviously we have to since she has no care for OP's daughter at all.
AND the daughter is giving up an additional room she had sole use of AND Alice's 4 kids are still getting an upgrade in living conditions. AND think about all the shared space, maneuvering around 5 extra people in the kitchen, and you know those kids'll probably all generally take over the living room, too, etc.
I doubt Alice's kids would even care but if they did and I were Alice, I'd be talking to my own kids about appreciating the extras they're getting PLUS pointing that even though OP's daughter has her own room, she already graciously gave up space for them and is willing to share more, even though she never lived with even 4 people total, her whole life.
I'm glad OP is doing the right thing. Too bad he's having a baby with selfish, crazy Alice or I'd say just kick her to the curb.
As crummy as this all is, at least it's nice to hear a parent stick up for their kid when too many of the blended-family situations seem to be parents treating their first batch of kids like the first batch of pancakes.
This lady wanted to walk in and kick down the house that they had built that is so disrespectful
Yes. Candy and Dusty both really get it.
I'm from a blended families. Granted no marriages until I was about 19 yo, so it was easier.
But even among bio-siblings, "life's not fair" and you don't always get exactly the same. Likewise then with step-siblings, different kids got different help from our parents according to circumstances, and none of us batted an eye about it. "It'll all work out in the end!" 😁
In my 20s, I ended up with a used car my step-Dad just GAVE me outright ... after all his 4 kids had had it... so yeah that was beat UP. 😂 But I wouldn't have been GIVEN a car at all if not for my step-Dad!
There were FUNNY things, too, like my step-Dad bought a more expensive beer I liked even though he usually got cheapest for everybody. My Mom bought iced coffee for one of my step-bros -- like think of Starbucks you can get at the convenience store... but it was an even BETTER brand!
We all grew up frugal. Of course our parents had more money with all of us out of the house and it was nice of them to get us more treats for visits than they could afford when we were younger.
But we would all just rib each other about it. Do "snarky" voice for these: "Ohh, NOW you buy iced coffee because TOM likes iced coffee." "Ohhh, JW gets the better beer." 😂
It all works out in the end! IF you do it right!
I kinda feel bad for Alice's kids and even for Alice. They all could have had a better life if Alice didn't have so many issues or just bad attitude or whatever it was. OP seemed to have a really good balance to have blended well.
AND Stacy! She's definitely not spoiled! Willing to give things up and then asked if it was her fault when OP told her Alice won't be moving in! I'm glad they dodged the bullet.
But it's sad for Alice and her kids. Some people just don't get it that sometimes the more pushy you are, the more you're going to lose and push away.
Only thing I disagree with is that unless your room is in the basement, you can’t put the baby down there.
As someone who experienced a terrible step mom… good on dad
She baby trapped him thinking that she was going to be Queen Bee.
Where are their fathers? She should give the child support or whatever benefits as their allowances.
100% agree with everything Candy Thunder said. I hope he gets full custody of the baby, or at least gets it the majority of the time, because this lady is toxic.
@tohrurikku: Assuming the child I'd actually his. It seems like she definitely targeted him because she could squeeze herself and her kids into the house and just pull the rug from under him. At some point, I started singing "Golddigger" to myself.
@@gaiapurpure 😂 I like that you sing it. (Golddigger) I do little songs, too. 😁❤️
Red Flags galore! And Alice should be paying more because she is bringing in a lot of kids, plus she's demanding way too much! Don't let her move in! It will be hell! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
OP is NTA!!! Why don’t dad move his office to the basement and put the baby in the smallest room and GFs daughter go to the office. This GF has all kinds of red flags! OP needs to rethink everything about GF!
Truth time- H chose to not to wear a condom. He is just as guilty as her. Sex sole purpose was to make babies. nothing is no 100% guaranteed contraceptive. There was no trickery mentioned. Also, STDs exist. Op needs to be told " instead of being on reddit. Get a lawyer that specialize in child custody and is good. MAKE SURE TO GET A DNA TEST. When the baby is confirm to be your's. MAKE SURE YOUR NAME IS PUT ON THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE.". She can f- over Op by not putting his name on it. What i mean is "closed adoption".
Run and don't look back. Red flags everywhere.
@@k70freeman They don't do closed adoptions anymore.
@@analyticalchick3064 that's not ture .
Dump Alice
Go dad for sticking up for your daughter kids always come first
All I can say is GOOD JOB DAD!!!!!!!! 🏆
I agree with Candy. She baby trapped him.
He dodged a bullet
A NUKE!
How on earth do couples get this far before having this conversation? Like how do you get engaged without talking about moving in and who goes where?
So glad dad opened his eyes before it was too late
So glad about the outcome!!!
Um, I am married to my husband and we have 2 kids together. I am so blessed that our daughter has the same kind of relationship with her dad! He will always put our kids first, even if something happens and I am not around!
Holy crap that escalated.
Wow OPs deal with his daughter is brilliant. It respects her autonomy and privacy. She is about to be outnumbered by Alice's kids. She needs that security especially when it is really her house, she is set to inherit it!
When my dad moved my half siblings into the house I had to buy a lock and put it on myself. My half sibs were going into my room and stealing my stuff (all kinds of jealously from them because their mother was a bizzo and delulu telling them lies about us).
If you are blending families into an established house never force kids that have lived their whole life to give up their room. That is their sanctuary!
The fiancé is madder than a box of frogs.😂
I'm kind of surprised a nursery would go in the basement? the rest is okay, but ....shouldn't a new baby be closer to the parents. Did I misunderstand that?
oh, I see in the update
GF is 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩.
100 bucks a week? damn?
Don't move you daughter from her room but also don't put the baby in the basement, build a cool space for the boys down there. PLEASE OP keep your finances separate and get on that prenup. Just finished the video, thank god he walked away.
Alice,Alice,who the fuck is Alice! 😂 Well done to Dad,your totally in the right❤
Very elegant Friends reference 😂
I’m not even all way through not even half way and I’m like WTF cause Stacey has given up her extra craft room, gf is a huge red flag
I'm wondering what her 4 kids perspective is... they were getting a nice upgrade, now they are likely getting a downgrade, and adding a 5th kid to the downgrade. It sounds like they've kept the kids out of their relationship so far, neither sounds at all attached to the others kids, but he only expected her to pay 20% of the household expenses, when she's bringing in 5 people. And I'm assuming she receives child support for those 4, if she wanted to them to get a huge allowance, she should have been able to give it to them with all the money she's saving living off of him anyway. If this was all about money, she messed up because it sounds like she was getting a pretty good deal even with the stipulations he made.
Candy is spot on he 100% has been baby trapped 😮 well done dad on calling a halt to it she saw him as a cash cow!
Absolutely not. I’m sorry he did say that he finished paying that house off with his wife’s life insurance which means that’s his house. That’s his daughter and And it’s their decisions to make about what room goes to who. Also, if that woman doesn’t like it, she can kick rocks. I know that she’s pregnant with his kid come on you’re just using him. They need to leave and your kid alone.
Absolute red flags. I do wonder if she did get pregnant on purpose…. Like she “ forgot” to take her birth control “.
The Friends reference 😂
Run OP run.
She saw dollar signs and a big house and tried to baby trap him.
OP is NTA, but I will say giving his daughter $100/wk is setting her up for failure unless she’s doing enough work at home to deserve it. That kind of money will make a kid entitled if it’s just being handed to them
Marriage is not the answer if you get pregnant, but OP was in loooooveeeee...... So for him it was the normal step to take.
I mean if they are equally sharing the chores, they should also be paid for the chores
I totally agree with Candy 😊I would of commented the same thing
Golddigger- alarm on
OP’s finance baby trapped him. That sucks.
Uhhhh….Just Why are you moving Alice & her herd in ??? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩‼️ (baby trap???)…Yes, Candy we thought the same thing … he dodged the A-bomb…not a little bullet ‼️👍
Nta Def red flags here
Don’t marry her - red flags everywhere
Also where are the father's of these 4 kids so they can give allowances to their children. She so did baby trap him.
GF is a walking red flag.
Where is the bio father of the other kids? Why the new husband have to take full responsibility of her kids?
I do think Stacy is getting way tooo much ......not the room, but 100 bucks a week?
Considering the size of the house... that 100 bucks to him might be 5 bucks to you, lol.
@@aralornwolf3140 yeah, he didn't sound like he was hurting for cash at all, and he says housing is pricey where he lives.. but even if he's a billionaire, I don't think a teen ager needs to get handed a hundred bucks a week.. the rest I have no issues with.
@@sallyjopatriot,
Sure, it's a bit much... but not outside of the realm of reasonableness (for the super rich). She is after all, going to get a second hand car for her 16th B-day. *Shrugs*
I remember one story in which OP promised his kid sister 5,000 to help pay for a car.... and the parents bought her a 60k Jeep instead of the used car he explicitly told them to get.
Which of the two girls are learning money doesn't grow on trees?
@@aralornwolf3140 probably neither, to be honest.. I remember that story, too.
Dude needs a paternity test before he agrees to anything.
He needs a paternity test and a new gf😂😂
Why she mad at due being able to have her own space and for it to have a lock
BS ,the new woman needs to back the F off, there is no way in hell she should have to give up her bedroom. She already willingly gave up her other space. Wow stepmother you are off to a great start being the wicked stepmother. GOOD LUCK. This is a good man that he is putting his child first. He should probably wait to move in, it is starting off terribly.
🤎
Gah! Don't marry her! 😧
I agree with Candy and said as much on the OG post.
She was jealous of his daughter and their relationship.
VENI. VICI. VINI.
Divide and Conquer.
Those insecurities and that level of toxicity has no place in a loving blended family.
They could have tried family therapy and couples counseling if she actually loved OP but obviously no she was trying to sow the seeds of discord.
She was shamelessly attempting to manipulate, control, gaslight, and make it known SHE WAS LARGE AND IN CHARGE.
I respect OP because I agree your child comes first not the spouse.
I have told my brothers and all of their friends this.
When you have children they not your new partner comes first.
That is unless they are a budding Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahlmer, Jack the Ripper, Belle Gunness, Aileen Wuornos or Ezerbet Bathory, if so then everyone needs to GTFO of dodge.
I can not help myself from wondering if this woman had told the landlord, she was moving out, and told OP she was being forced out? 🫤