Thank you very much for this subject, it was very relatable and opened up some new ways for me to think about past mistakes I made. I really like the calm and non-judgemental way this info is given. Having ADHD makes me very reactive to the emotional states of people and makes it hard to pause and question myself if I really wánt to feel the same way as this person. So if someone is really upset and judgemental about something I did, it’s really hard nót to feel the same way. That this info is given so calmly really helps to think about it with the reasoning part of my brain. Thank you!
This perfectly describes a big chunk of my life experience. In my early teens i was made fun of by my classmates. It wasn't that severe, but it completely destroyed my self-esteem, and i made a conscious decision to shut down and avoid doing anything that could get me made fun of. I've spent the past 15+ years working on undoing that, and got diagnosed with ADHD just a couple of weeks ago. It's crazy how much more intensely i seem to feel certain emotions than other people, and it's so helpful to finally understand why!
Think I had feared rejection so much growing up. That rather than just being me. I became the mimic! A person who watches and copies the most successful or liked in a group. It may get you through, but it left me miserable. With the question, who am i? Don't worry about who likes you! As we get older, the best of friends are counted on one hand. And they love you for you!
This kind of sounds like mirroring in a way. Rather than showing our true selves we mirror those around us so we don't stand out and show our neurodivergent selves as "weird" or different to those around us. It's also a way of hiding our vulnerabilities a bit.
You're beautiful. I really appreciate what you come to the table with because I've experienced it, but I've always been an extremely reserved person if I don't know the people around me. I take my time in getting to know them and allowing them to get to know me. I don't come outright with my thoughts and feelings until I'm asked. And when they ask me, that's when I feel free to step forwardand announce who I am and what I stand for and yes, it is cruel when some people decide that they want to make comments. Because they don't understand where us adhd women are coming from because of the simple fact of what we deal with and how we have to deal with it.
Sigh, but alas it still requires a hyper-awareness of others and what circumstance(s) they’re in to forgive ourselves for being “too much” in that instance. It’s a lot of work.
Yes it is a lot of work and then that's what can cause that feeling of exhaustion after we've been socializing for a while and then the need to isolate afterwards.
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The sad thing is... oversharing just feels really good and then you get excited about what you're talking about, so you overshare even more!!😞
So relatable!
Still do it at 60 ;(.. and I'll have people tell me I'm over emotional, I tell them you're not emotional enough😂
Right it's not me it's you! ha ha
Thank you very much for this subject, it was very relatable and opened up some new ways for me to think about past mistakes I made. I really like the calm and non-judgemental way this info is given. Having ADHD makes me very reactive to the emotional states of people and makes it hard to pause and question myself if I really wánt to feel the same way as this person. So if someone is really upset and judgemental about something I did, it’s really hard nót to feel the same way. That this info is given so calmly really helps to think about it with the reasoning part of my brain. Thank you!
So glad you found it helpful!
Great episode! Thank you!
Thank you!
This perfectly describes a big chunk of my life experience. In my early teens i was made fun of by my classmates. It wasn't that severe, but it completely destroyed my self-esteem, and i made a conscious decision to shut down and avoid doing anything that could get me made fun of. I've spent the past 15+ years working on undoing that, and got diagnosed with ADHD just a couple of weeks ago. It's crazy how much more intensely i seem to feel certain emotions than other people, and it's so helpful to finally understand why!
Thanks so much for sharing!
Ty for this ❤
You are so welcome!
❤❤❤❤❤ Yes I did plenty time's ❤❤
Think I had feared rejection so much growing up. That rather than just being me. I became the mimic! A person who watches and copies the most successful or liked in a group. It may get you through, but it left me miserable. With the question, who am i?
Don't worry about who likes you! As we get older, the best of friends are counted on one hand. And they love you for you!
This kind of sounds like mirroring in a way. Rather than showing our true selves we mirror those around us so we don't stand out and show our neurodivergent selves as "weird" or different to those around us. It's also a way of hiding our vulnerabilities a bit.
You're beautiful. I really appreciate what you come to the table with because I've experienced it, but I've always been an extremely reserved person if I don't know the people around me. I take my time in getting to know them and allowing them to get to know me. I don't come outright with my thoughts and feelings until I'm asked. And when they ask me, that's when I feel free to step forwardand announce who I am and what I stand for and yes, it is cruel when some people decide that they want to make comments. Because they don't understand where us adhd women are coming from because of the simple fact of what we deal with and how we have to deal with it.
Yes, been there--done that!
Sigh, but alas it still requires a hyper-awareness of others and what circumstance(s) they’re in to forgive ourselves for being “too much” in that instance. It’s a lot of work.
Yes it is a lot of work and then that's what can cause that feeling of exhaustion after we've been socializing for a while and then the need to isolate afterwards.
I'm not sure how to *not* overcorrect... I don't perceive it, or it comes up as bad performance anxiety
Maybe also a bit of impostor syndrome?