What I imagine “Alpha Male” Podcasts are
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.พ. 2022
- #funny #funnyvideo #skit #sketch #comedy #sketchcomedy #comedyskit #joke #jokes #laugh #laughs #satire #tiktok #hilarious #comedysketch #actor #comedian #comic #shorts #youtubeshorts
#writer - ตลก
Not misogynistic enough, you forgot the part where they cut off the female guest while she's talking
Fresh and Fit lmfao theyre such clowns
Dont forget "while the cherry-picked female guest is agreeing with them"
@@dreadwoe7661Yeah, they dont let any intelligent girls on there...
lol he also forgot the 2-3 guys just saying “right” the whole time that he’s taking
@@Silver_drag0nAnd if they are intelligent - or at least show any sign of resistance to his ideas on any level - "alright, you can leave now- no, you can get out. Bye."
"Biological standpoint" THAT SENT ME 😭
These men really act like they know what they're talking about
They really do, they just throw a few random terms here and there and then spout complete bs lol
Histerical!
Why require sex so frequently if it's only required for procreation, though?
🤣🤣
I see y'all haven't met Evo Psychology. Spoilers: it's justification for bad behavior.
No worries love. All the real men are laughing at these so called "alpha males" there's a difference between a real man who is humble and a egotistical fuck boy
Funnily, these are exactly the type of males who suddenly hate the truth when you start talking about violent crime statistics.. they become PC real quick, lmao.
And for some reason, they love talking about eVolUtIOn or certain animals when it suits their agenda but why don't they talk about the bee and ant colonies? Lionesses? Elephants?🤔 Or how often, male animals are the "prettier" ones and are the ones trying to get the attention of the female animals. Or how female hawks, owls, falcons, and eagles are larger than the males etc.
Do they still want to believe in alpha male wolf pack nonsense instead? "EsCaPe tHe mAtRiX!!1!¡¡" 😂
You forgot to add the numb headed guy in the background that agrees with everything like "Yeah man" "totally"
"Honestly that is so accurate*
"Bro that's literally insane"
Facts bro
"murdering people is actually beneficial for you and your testosterone."
"Yo, no way that's insane."
@@brumbrum987654321 Honestly, that is so accurate.
Bro that is so accurate man
@@johnsmith-ol8ky yeah man totally
it’s so accurate how they always refer to women as “females”
yeah lmao with the accent on "feeeeeee" lol
or “one” as if they’re like … some kind of creatures?? “when i’m with one” ??? huh???
Its dehumanizing to be called female instead of a woman. We refer to animals as female and male. We refer to humans as women and men. Unless its in a drs office, dont fucking say female. Im not a dog, im not a rare species of bird with a complex mating dance. Im a fucking woman, and ide appreciate it if you didnt refer to me like im a fucking animal.
@@Not_amused1624 You really be thinking all this? God damn women really be waking up in the morning and be like " how can I get mad and miserable today?" I never gave a single fuck when I got referred as a male and I never will. Holy shit people nowadays just search for reasons to get mad about literal non problems.
@@Yiulias It’s not referring to you “as a male” that would be an issue, it’s using “males” as a noun. You’re seriously saying it wouldn’t be an issue if a girl said “males are bad at sex”? Firstly it’s painting you with the same brush as everyone else in that group, while also talking about you as if you’re some sort of separate species. It wouldn’t be as bothersome if it was a positive comment after “males”, but when it’s paired with a negative comment it just adds to the dehumanization.
Alpha male podcasts really just are "hello, I'm bad at sex and don't know what women are" in an hour long format
“Hello I’m bad at sex, don’t know what women are and have violent/antisocial tendencies I’m going to pretend are both normal and super special at the same time.”
@@softestshade7813 normal n super special 💀😭😭
XD
You just completly ignored everything he said and acted like a negative female stereotype while you were also discriminating him based on hos gender.
Good job.
@@roberth4395 The video is satire?? Did you completely ignore that????
The "from a biological standpoint" is just so fucking accurate lmao
"from a biological standpoint"
*Never learned anything past High School Bio 101*
@@zephyrm.6564 Failed high School bio
Ben Shapiro vibes
@@Stealthfang270 yep, the guy who told _the world_ that he's never aroused his own wife. Fun times! 😁
Ironically when someone says that its actually the opposte,it biologically nessasery to find it pleasurable.
you missed unironically bringing up the Spartans as an example of masculinity
It's okay alpha bros. Sparta's motto was 'no homo'. Clearly they were hetero af.
@@lambentlampreyThey were as hetero as the other states what set them apart was their cruelty. Though they did less child marriages than Athens but more child killings...
@@mormacil Professors Google and Wikipedia inform me that the Sacred Band of Thebes -=- Sparta
At least I nailed the strikethrough?
@@lambentlamprey Yeah Thebes are the guys that beat Sparta up several times both on the battlefield and individual match ups.
Man: literally admits to just doing “his own thing”
Woman: not enjoying it
Man: damn bro chill it’s your fault
Just lie still whilst I finish....
(in 15 secs & leave you with the sticky mess & gynae bill)
"It hurts "
"Calm dow, stay strong"
"Dont wanna do that"
"Ohh why not? You are soo childsh"
Been there, these types of giys are the worts, it sucks, discustiing, thank god i got a real men now gez
Don't forget the second pseudo-chad that brainlessly agrees with everything being said.
The alpha podcasts I watch, if I’m using my anecdotal experiences have only benefitted myself. Even though I see scientific flaws in data.
You gotta admit the "from a biological standpoint" was basically true and funny as hell, lmao
^ Dude above me is cooked tho.
@@imnotgoodwithnames8502 how am I cooked? I’m not afraid to be honest, my life has changed from the red pill for the best.
@@kintarooe8688 Hey mate, just want to offer that there are other sources for self improvement and confidence building that don't have the myriad of issues most redpill/alpha channels have.
If you're looking for discipline and mindfulness, give HealthyGamerGG a look. If you want to improve your body, Hybrid Calisthenics or Noel Deyzel are fantastic resources that encourage positive inward focus rather than a more toxic comparative focus. Take note of what you're enjoying about your current sources and try pursuing that specifically, you don't need to begrudgingly put up with bad science or misogyny while improving yourself.
@@cameronmcleod8419 Ohh I love Dr. K, he’s awesome but, I fail to see practical solutions other than meditate or XYZ to your thoughts/feelings. Red Pill channels that I watch, give you practical advice, and are a loving community.
Even though Red Pill has some bad science, I’ll believe it honestly. It’s like a religion, where you’re a taking a leap of faith. And there are misogynistic channels like Fresh and Fit, but their not even about Red Pill.
Lmao you're missing the part where some yes man just says "right, right...." Contributing nothing but saying a lot😂
Dangit! I was going to do that and forgot!
@@koreanbeef27 lol but the video still hit tho
@@koreanbeef27 next make a parody on a female influencer or sus
@@nikita5917 """female"""
@@nikita5917 As soon as someone uses the word female in an not scientific context i can't take them serious anymore since all my incel alarm bells are ringing
You forgot the “you see the way women work is…(enter random comment that shows they have absolutely NO clue how women work)”
“They see themselves as a meal, but the fact of the matter is that they are just one ingredient on the sandwiches we’ll have them make because we are the alphas. We have to humble these females who think they are special and let them know that they are just one lowly slave of my harem. That’s just basic biology.”
that's literally the entirety of this short though
“Women like men who are 50 years older than them”
"FEMALES" LMFAO ON POINT
Close but not misogynistic enough also you're not unreasonably angry enough
Boys, we found the beta 😈 the hunt is afoot
Are you in the freindzone?
@@pathlogic8650 no but u r
To be honest I think this guy is not capable of it
@@prettyme4387 cant be, i dont have any friends
The nose ring, shadow, and weirdly vivid eye colour are perfect details.
the eyes always creep me out
Really cause They gave me beta vibes 🤣
Ok I thought the eye issue was just me
Never seen a chad with nose ring
The nose ring is off thats more of a left leaning facial ornament i feel
You forgot the part where women are supposed to “owe you” attention, desire, and be “honored” that you are such a “nice guy”.
That's the opposite of what they say
You forgot the "if my wife lets herself go after she carries a child that I planted there for 9 MONTHS, I'm leaving" ✋🏽😭
It’s so sad! My sister is about to celebrate her daughter’s 1st birthday and she feels so bad about her weight. Postpartum depression and everything. She’s SUCH a stellar mom 😭 and her boyfriend is also wonderful! He works hard during the day and helps take care of my niece evenings and weekends like a champ. They are so sweet together. And are young and it was an oopsie. I’m proud of them! 🥲
They're exactly this sad and pathetic, but this wasn't nearly misogynistic enough.
They'd probably ban him if he went full alfa
Not all of them. A lot alpha male podcasts have honestly changed my life for the positive.
Red pill is honestly being the best version of yourself + ideology that may or may not be scientific.
@@kintarooe8688 the red pill in the matrix is an allegory for transitioning into your real gender.
Im still trying to make it happen
@Kintaro Oe not the person you asked but to answer your question The Matrix is an allegory for being transgender, it was made by two trans-women and the "red pill / blue pill" is an allegory for not only accpting your self as trans but can also be seen as a refrence to hrt ( if you lool closely), anygay hope this helped :3
@@EllieChuYt that’s actually interesting and a good allegory for that I guess.
The usage of the word: "breed" really sold it for me
“So I can breed as many females as possible” just sounds so weird but hilarious lmao
They lucky if they even breed one their whole lives😂
I’ve been imagining they’re aliens sent to create human hybrids, but they’re doing a terrible job because they know a lot less about human behavior than they think.
Plus they keep developing the “evolutionary” part, talking about ancestors and hunters and how men are supposed to protect and hunt, while sitting around in a cozy studio rented inside a building that has a built-in security system
I’m afraid of liking this video because TH-cam might actually suggest me some non sarcastic “alpha” or “sigma” talk show
Am I the only one that wants to see him explain the “omega verse” to his alien roommate?
Not anymore you're not
Good goth, do not give him that idea he will run with it
I need this more than I knew
Ohhh me too
"human what is this, omega slick...? I've seen this term being used online and I'd like for you to enlighten me"
As soon as I heard 'evolutionary' my fight or flight response was triggered lmao. I saw sooo many clips of those kind of guys talking like that, you nailed it!
for me it was hearing females. any time I hear that from a person, any gender, I assume they're pseudo-woke conservative libertarians
its not mentioned in the video but yall, i cant with "biologically engineered" shit
Are you scared
“Honey that’s just a breeding kink” -some awesome girl on tiktok duetting one of those podcasts 😂
"Proceeds to get very offended or angry when the woman pulls out sex toys to help herself."
Dont worry about keeping us happy for our sake, we have plenty of options to help ourselves. Options that can do the job quicker and better than most men. You are the one whose options are more limited, if your partner isnt impressed 😅
Therapist: it's ok, Korean Joe Rogan can't hurt you.
This video:
Joe isn't like this at all to women, I don't get it?
10/10 comment
@@theflowerhead he is.
@@theflowerhead he is.
@@Houseproudasamotherhen he's married. Dude is blue pilled.
funfact: actually, sex is pleasurable so that reproduction is more enjoyable for humans, making them do it more (evolutionary-wise). also extremely accurate.
More importantly, sex is, for humans, primarily for bonding. Just like with other incredibly social and intelligent mammals (chimps, Bonobos, dolphins), humans mate to bond. We only diverged from the others like us sometime early on in the agricultural revolution in that we became monogamous, hunter-gatherer humans, like all other highly intelligent highly social mammals previously mentioned, weren't sexually monogamous in the slightest, and intercourse might as well have been movie night with the pals. The primary function (in that it is the function that is most often utilized) of sex for humans and other social animals is bonding, not reproduction. Reproduction is obviously the _original_ evolutionary function, but just as fins became legs and legs became arms, sex too evolved to be more than just means to reproduction
@@hendrixhotel going out with the boys 😳
@@PicassosCat me, bi: I knew I was missing out lol
@@hendrixhotel Yeah... its definitely not for "bonding" and if it is, we have done a horrible job at evolving with that concept.
Humams harm & kill others for having sex with new people, its called cheating instead of bonding for a reason. But I get were youre trying to get, you just used the wrong wording.
@@imnotgoodwithnames8502 first off, pretty fucking bold to claim "it's definitely not for bonding" with zero elaboration, and second, wtf do you think the difference between a romantic/sexual relationship and a platonic one is if sex doesn't bring people closer? And no, don't bother answering, because if you have an answer it can probably be 100% discredited by the existence of homosexuality. Sorry to break it to you but biology doesn't bend to the will of your fragile traditional upbringing, 6 millennium of sexually monogamous human culture does not stand up much to the millions of years that humans were around before that.
These men are like "take initiative for your own pleasure" but in the same breath "be submissive to me"
it's so difficult to make fun of them because every time we make a joke about how absurd they're acting they just turn up the absurdity
"God will just make a better idiot"
"Take the initiative" "You are responsible" are words they would never say
Rich Cooper/Hamza word for word says stuff like that, and often tells men to take initiative in their lives especially beta callers.
100% words they say!
I meant to they would never say it to "the females"
I was told this by a man, when I said that he never tried to make me enjoy sex the literal response was “why should I have to do that? You can take responsibility for your own orgasm like I do for mine”……. Like wtf dude
They would say it when referring to women. Men don't have to do those things in their minds though
Yeah, I had a friend like this. After he got kicked out, I let him pay cheap rent in my house - literal worse 2 years ever.
"Doing all the cleaning is your responsibility. I'm only responsible for my little bedroom, and if that's a mess I'm the only one in there anyways. I'm doing my part." -your roommate.
You deserve it you were a doormat if you was such a terrible roommate you should have kicked them out
@@carlosanthony4972 💀💀💀
@@carlosanthony4972 found the terrible roommate
You are a weeb
i feel like every dude that runs an alpha male podcast got rejected by his crush in 3rd grade and this is the result of them never getting over it
He wants to "breed" the females but doesn't want them pregnant 💀
I had dated this type of dude for 3 years on and off (yes, I'm a clown) so I can say this video is 100 percent accurate
Damn praying for your mental health
Girl WHYYYYY
WHY???
I literally had a coworker who would talk to me exactly like this about his problems with women and I had to stand there and go "hmm"
LOLLL, must have been so awkward 🪦💀 were you a girl??-
@@sushih3302 You think that gremlin would have the balls to say that to a real woman in a job setting?
@@triforceadm7345 probably yes. He would expect her to pity him, though
@@countrygeneral that’s so accurate. Jesus Christ.
@@countrygeneral exactly
Any time I hear bros use the word “female” or “females” It reminds me of the Ferengi from Star Trek and how gross they are, and how similar bros like these are to them.
Yes, dont call women "females", i know people like that would be all up in arms if women started calling those things "males" or "you know those males"
@@JoeMama-1diot its inclusive to trans people
This is unbelievably accurate. Also "biologically/evolutionarily" those that enjoy sex would propagate more than those who hate or don't care, so its the enjoyment gene that would live on.
And yet they'd still absolutely say that original thing.
Not when it comes to the 2 most-followed religions, where most of the followers say it’s obligatory.
@@donion2122 The religions themselves say celibacy is great…
Love the amount of times he said the word LIKE 😂 that’s on point
This was a little too accurate to the point that I almost didn’t notice it was satire
And the sad thing is there's probably someone out there who's like "YEAH! FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT!"
“We’re not supposed to enjoy sex.” This is a super high-value male right here. 😂😂😂
i usually watch sketches a few times on loop cause they’re so funny. this one, i can’t. it’s so fckng spot on, it makes me wanna die
1 second in he's calling women "fEmAlEs" 🤮😂 the accuracy!
@Noel Noel Who tf uses “males” (except for you)
@TheArawakReaper Okay but you don’t say “that male over there” unless you’re on a safari looking at a fucking zebra do you?
The “females” 💀🤣😭 so accurate
"So, I can breed as many females as possible." Doctor: Sir, I'm afraid you have every STD/STI known to mankind.
“And they have rendered you predictably infertile.”
I love how 'alphas' will start talking form a biological point of view, then get everything wrong
All alpha male podcasts are just "Hi I have not been in an committed relationship with a woman since middle school but I'm the hottest shit to walk the earth"
I also remember seeing a clip of a guy saying he’d leave his wife if she was pregnant and let herself go/wouldn’t lose pregnancy weight
I feel like they just need to take a step back and really look at the stuff they say
A few months ago when Crowder bitched at his pregnant wife for not walking the dog… my husband said “oh I’d expect you to divorce me if I did that… you wouldn’t even need to be pregnant. But definitely if you’re pregnant.” I laughed. I love my husband so much. These people are nuts.
This so so good, I actually got angry the algorithm gave it to me, till I realized it was parody.
Excellent job!
"I'm having a great time, but she is not, how bad at sex she is". Alpha male logic, dude... it's nuts.
I barely even recognise you here, tbh it was just the voice that made me think it was you. A+ impression.
“doing my own thing” was she in the room🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why do they hate women so much? It’s getting out of hand…
You are so wrong, you're supposed to mention how girls, and brand new cars are equivalent to each other.
Never met a guy who called himself an alpha who wasn't a complete beta.
You gotta add the creepy undertones which make you wonder if he's talking about 26 year olds or 16 year old girls
It's scary how on point it was if I hadn't seen the name I'd assume is a real "alpha" podcast
"from a biological standpoint" triggered my fight or flight response. That's how you know this guy is good. 100% believable character
And they always gotta adress us as "females" and never women 💀✨
I just find this peculiar for some reason-
I heard this practice dates from slavery days, and it was meant to rhetorically deny enslaved women their womanhood and humanity.
Even without the slavery connection, people still point out that you normally use "females" to refer to animals-and wouldn't you know it, the linguistic practice is most common among people who treat women in dehumanizing ways.
From the bros who say females to the wokes who say chest feeding people do not wish to acknowledge women as people. “Female” is clinical, scientific, cold. “Woman” is what a person is, relational, warm. Dehumanizing someone, you can treat them as chattel, not as someone deserving respect and dignity.
I’ve also often seen alphas equate women with children. And I hate to think what their mentality about children is bc so often they prey on young women and even girls, too. So then it wouldn’t matter to them if they target a woman or a girl because that’s “female” to them. It’s creepy.
It is SCARY how convincing both the impression and the filter make this.
Do you know how much I was to dislike this video? It's perfect. It's literally a perfect parody. It's so perfect it's indistinguishable from the real thing.
Stop this. I love it.
Seriously, it took me a hot second to realize this was satire, it looked and sounded that convincing
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY ACCURATE OMFGGG I CAN'TTT
Fun fact: the cuties guy has said stuff like that
Oh…. that guy.
Mr. girl (the cuties guy) is simply trying to give an olive branch to pedos so like…he’s kinda gross because of that more than he is for having strange “alpha” takes. He icky 😖
@@CJ-ru7uf super surprised he has a girlfriend
@@hinata167 I am more saddened than surprised at that. I saw him interview his girlfriend on his channel like a year or so ago and if she’s not an actor I’m sad she dated him at all.
who's the cuties guy?
Hit them with the classic "wOmEn pReSeRvE tHrIr vAlUe aNd mEn cReAtE iT"
That’s hilarious 😂 I’m definitely the ambitious of my husband and I. He just wants to retire. I’m out here building businesses. He was attracted to me because of my ambition. Maybe my husband was a bit of a gold digger lol 😂 Jk I think opposites attract. It’s just sad when these people have dogma about how men and women should or do interact.
this was too accurate😭😭i almost thought you were one of them for a second
I've found that some partners are good, some are bad, but an honest conversation and teamwork makes it the best for us both! :)
So accurate I instinctively went to remove this video from my history
“I’m supposed to get in and out in 15 seconds” made me laugh way too hard out loud
The "tell me you've never pleased a woman without telling me you've never pleased a woman" lol
"EsCaPe tHe mAtRiX!!"
"But what when do we get to call them ugly, bro?"
This is too real
The use of ‘females’ is spot on lmao
I love how he's struggling to be misogynistic enough to do a totally accurate impression
As soon as he said “Females” I was like- yup accurate
"It's in our biology to be polygamous bro"
Absolutely it is. But it was MEN who wanted monogamy back in cave man days SO's they could tell if their offspring were theirs or not.
The women were merrily passing down their possessions to who they KNEW were their children, but the men did not know who to hand their shizz onto.
In a hunter gatherer society, that is the difference between survival & a grisly death.
Hmm women enjoy monogamy in modern society from a long term partner view. Bros who will run off after you get pregnant is very dangerous to raising a family. In the wild, as a woman you’d be better off letting the child die and finding a new mate which would NOT benefit flighty men at all. As a man you would WANT to protect your family from danger and ensure your offspring made it to adulthood to keep your lineage. Just as a woman benefits from having a partner to help raise the offspring. Human babies are ENERGY INTENSIVE. So both men and women have short term benefit sleeping around but long term benefit as a long term team.
You forgot the catchphrases. Hit the wall. Low hanging fruit. High value man LOL 😂😂😂
I dont believe that you can imagine that. It was so accurate you must have done your homework
You need another guy saying mmm right evrry few seconds
This is just a clip from one of those podcasts it has to be 😂
“15 seconds” lmfaoooo you hit the nail on the head
The accuracy of this. I legit thought I stumbled onto the dark side of the internet again
It’s the attention to details like the usage of the word “females” 🤣
Thank goodness I married a great man and don’t have to worry about this lol
This went from “funny” to “wait I actually heard guys make this argument” real fast 😳
His cheeks lol such a small detail but also so great
Is this an actual filter? I'm dead lmao
This literally sounds like something Joe Rogan would say 😂😂😂
😭
I had to come back to this comment cause surprise surprise my next short after this one was of Rogan 💀
@@ilarious5729 😂😂😂 nice
Joe Rogan is the GOAT
@@kintarooe8688 nice joke bro lol
THE BLUE YETI IN THE FRAMEW DUDEEE YOU ARE SO SMART
No but this is literally word for word what they say lmaooo
Drink a shot everytime he says like. You will be wasted after two sentences
I kept getting this channel called “Entrepreneurs in cars” and it was the most “alpha male” gross thing I’ve ever seen.
He just out himself like that 😂 “Every time I’m in bed with a women, they complain I’m shit” 😂
I appreciate how he made a point to say “like” about 5 times in each sentence.
This is so accurate it hurts
I like think I like agree, like you're right with like everything you like said
You did this a little too well... 🤣
The moment he said female I was like please be a joke and it is! Comedy gold
So cool of you to get Dan Bilzerian on the channel!
God I feel bad for those who don't realize this is satire and it's the only video of yours they watch lol.
I guess people have to be braindead to not understand the "what i imagine alpha males podcasts are".
@@JaceGameplay yet they exist
@@JaceGameplay dyslexic people exist
@@adrianmagnesen1836 I'm dyslexic. i can understand the phrase "What I imagine Alpha Male Podcasts Are". Dyslexics can read, you know.
tbh, dyslexia makes harder to speak and harder to understand when someone talks something that doesn't fit, yet you can understand from context. Doesn"t make it a Impossible task, it's just a single moment of confusion. Doesn't make you immune to sarcasm or context.
Phrases well structured and clear to it's intents aren't a challenge to dyslexics. People talking something without clear intents is something that catches dyslexics, and only for some time.
Saying "females" was such a nice touch 👌
Also the “I’m been with a lot of chicks…”