Todd takes us through his story of same-gender attraction, addiction, self harm, and faith
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ส.ค. 2024
- CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains sensitive content that may be triggering or offensive to some audiences. Parental discretion is advised.
"So I go into disobedience council and I told them my story. The love that these brethren had - how they treated this sinner, how they treated this gay man, was probably the most spiritual experience I have had, and I have had some big ones. These people loved me, this was the atonement. This is how it works. The Lord is going to bless me, He has continually blessed me and forgiven me."
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CHAPTERS
00:00 Introduction
00:13 Tod describes his parents, and learns at a young age he is gay
06:00 Todd begins a full-time mission
07:00 Todd prays to know if the Church is true, and receives an answer
12:00 Hating his homosexual activity, Todd attempts suicide for the first time
16:30 Todd is in jail
20:20 Todd’s friend invites him to an addiction recovery meeting
27:25 Todd feels love and acceptance from his stake president
31:00 Todd receives his temple recommend
37:25 Todd shares his feelings about marriage
39:00 Ashly responds to Todd’s story
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Todd, thank you for sharing your experience. I too am a gay man and addict to many things and have recently come back to the church. I received my counsel just a few months ago and am currently disfellowshipped.. I’m going to ARP & seeing a counselor on the side. I still slip up from time but I appreciate you sharing this. My parents told me about this podcast and I’m so glad I have another brother I can relate too. Thank you both for what you are doing…maybe someday I can share my story as well. ❤🙏
Would love that, wishing you the very best
Todd, you are a good good man! You have opened my eyes to the challenges of being a gay man in the church. Your counsel to o gay men getting married to a good woman and having children really touched my heart. I have never struggled with same sex attraction and couldn’t understand it but now I have more compassion for those that do. Thank you!
There are 8 billion people on this earth. It is my belief that in the preexistence we all were apprised of the difficulties we will endure in the process of experiencing physical life. Such as war, hunger, cold, physical handicaps, mental handicaps, etc. and etc. The scriptures indicate a third of us decided against the plan to come to earth. Jesus Christ, the one of us who was chosen to administer the plan helped us to make the decision by insuring our return to our heavenly home. We have the eternities to progress. I'm 94. My gay friend, same age, told me early in life that because he knew the Gospel is true, He chose to find a wife and live the straight life. Which he did with much pain and effort.. Two months ago, before he died, said that although he lived honorably all these years, he was never able to throw off the same sex attraction and was in hope of losing it when he passed through the veil of life to his next stage of existence. I feel positive that joy and happiness is his, where he now dwells.
Todd, thank you for sharing your experiences, both good and bad! I’m so proud of you for coming back to the Lord. I’ve learned so much from listening to this! I’m so glad I found this. You are a testimony of God’s love and His desire for you to stay in this earthly life to help others that are struggling!
I know this brother is speaking a beautiful truth! I know of 3 gay men who make the best fathers, the most devoted family men who are married to good LDS women and they are active brothers in the church. They all seem happy even though they likely have struggled with unseen weaknesses. They are overcoming and are filled with the peace that only Christ can bring! We all have weaknesses to overcome. He gave us weakness that we might be humble. And lean on Him.
We are so glad the gun didn't work! And that this good man is still with us to help many who need his very distinctive help in these days before the second coming. Satans work is coming to a close! The sooner there better!!
Unfortunately that does not work out for every single gay member like that because these gay members have got different strength levels of the SSA. Marriage is not a cure for resolving homosexual problems. So that may work out for those who are Bisexual or have very weak SSA, but not work out so well for those who have the SSA high and strong and persistent and ongoing and or not highly disciplined with the Lord, as you have to be very strict with staying close to the Lord or They will soon run into trouble and have ongoing deep conflict with SSA temptations in the marriage if they enter into the marriages with the opposite sex at the wrong time while the SSA attraction is up at its highest peak levels and when they are not as disciplined or strict with the Lord.
For that group of SSA members who don't have the SSA overpowering who want to enter into marriage with the opposite sex here in this life, High Strict Discipline is still required and also for that other group who are unable to marry here in this life because of deep strong ongoing persistent SSA conflicts of no fault of their own or other reasons that prevent them from entering into marriage, high strict discipline is also required to make the celibate single church life work also otherwise it just all falls apart if you are not highly disciplined or not consistent...........
The Lord will allow them to marry in this life or in the millennium if the situation prevents them from entering marriage with the opposite sex here in this life.
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Thank you Todd for being willing to share. As you talked, you reminded me of something President Nelson wrote in the Oct. 2022 Liahona: "Because God has 'hessed' (lovingkindness) for those who have covenanted with Him, He will love them. He will continue to work with them and offer them opportunities to change. He will forgive them when they repent. And should they stray, He will help them find their way back to Him...He will never tire in His efforts to help us, and we will never exhaust His merciful patience with us. Each of us has a special place in God's heart. He has high hopes for us.". I especially like the part where President Nelson teaches, "He will never tire in His efforts to help us, and we will never exhaust His merciful patience with us", all because we have been willing to make covenants with Him. Your story helps all of us understand this truth better. I LOVE God's plan of salvation!
I am so happy to hear someone reinforce that it is all about the atonement. The power to overcome any situation is already there and we need to learn how to take advantage of it.
What a beautiful, heart wrenching, heart warming, testimony building story!!! Thank you for sharing and offering a different way to look at things so that we can be better able love others.
This is one of my favorite ones so far. I can relate to the healing power of the atonement. The mercy, the love…it just blows my mind. Thank you.
Todd, you are a jewel! Thank you for your honesty and for enlightening me about the gay lifestyle and how the atonement helps you see clearly what Heavenly Father’s plan is. Thank you so much. May the Lord continue to light your path and give you comfort. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️❤️❤️👍😊
All the love in the world! So inspiring!
I love the humility and hope shared in this discussion. Todd found happiness and peace coming from the most challenging place a disciple of Christ could come from. Wow, talk about being born again. Thank you for sharing!
Going before the council takes incredible humility.. he was humble and felt the love of the council.. it was made quite clear how powerful of an experience this was, and i believe him.. it goes without saying but i will. It was a type and shadow of the Saviors love for him.. so powerful..
🙏😭💞Thank you Todd for being true to your heart. Ashley, thanks for your love of the gospel and mankind!
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I found it very uplifting and am glad that you have found peace and hope you continue your journey of peace, love and acceptance.
For years, I've thought gay men who are faithful members of the Church are the strongest among us.
I still think that. Wonderful story.
I am so grateful for your podcast. I returned after 20 years living the LGBTQ lifestyle. I didn't know anything about being gay and didn't have anyone to talk to in the church when I left. Destroyed my family and what little was left of my marriage. Went through the process of disfellowship to repent and acknowledged how messed up living lies can be. Thankful for friends and a good bishop.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Todd. I feel for you and I’m glad you’re back 🌞
Todd, thank you for sharing your story. You are very real and your story is very touching. I think it will help many people. This was an outstanding podcast.
What an awesome guy. Thank you for your amazing courage to share your story and help others!
This was a powerful testimony. Thank you both for doing this.
Todd your an awesome person. The obstacles you’ve overcome to be where you are now. I’m so thankful the church’s stance has changed enough for you to be comfortable. Which is one of the reasons I’ve come back to the church is how they’ve opened the doors to everyone. Love you my brother.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and working with our youth. This story is important. I was pray for my teenage boys the entire time you were speaking and asked God to bring the things in that they would need from me in their lives. I will never forget some of the things that God sent as comforts, direction and hope.
Thank you for sharing your story. My son is gay and has had a devastating breakup of 10 year’s relationship. At the time of his breakup a girl that he works with reached out to him without even knowing what he was going through. They have developed a great relationship. She is planning to marry a guy who really has no interest in her. Just the other day I told my son that he should talk to her and advise her not to get married and that the him and her should just get a place together and live as best of friends. I was starting to think I was crazy for saying that but he actually said that it was something he has thought about also. In my heart I feel like this could be the beginning of the end….i needed to hear your story to help me realize there is true hope for him. We have talked many times and I know and I know he k kw he wants to be grounded, a stable relationship and still know he is gay and that it is ok!!! Thank you again for sharing!
Such an amazing podcast. Thank you, Todd, for sharing your story!
Thank You so much for sharing your story!! It resonates truth and love!! AMEN!
Thank you for your honesty, Todd
Wow. Thank you for sharing. I am working back myself. I appreciate your spirit.
Wow! Just... Wow! Thanks to both of you, Todd and Ashly. Todd, your candor, humility and goodness are just so inspiring!!! Thank you for sharing. I was so choked up by your inspirational story - and no doubt, it is inspirational. What typically leads members out of the faith is related to doctrine, history, etc. Same-sex attraction and LGBTQ issues are almost in a class of their own, as sexual orientation more often than not, is NOT chosen. (And yes, I'm aware that there are countervailing positions about that. I believe that nearly 100% of the time it is not chosen). I have many friends and family members who identify as gay and are all in varying stages of being out, open and whether or not they are in same-gender relationships. Needless to say, I can think of very few things more problematic than something you do not choose but that could affect one's core happiness and well-being as same-sex attraction. It's one of those things in life and the gospel to which we have few answers. Those that love God and the Savior but seem to be at odds with doctrine through no fault of their own, is a glaring example of an unfairness that makes no sense. (Disease, illness, death, hunger, etc. among the most weak and vulnerable; these are all examples of things that make no sense on the surface.) Same-sex attraction isn't something I can personally relate to, other than to say that for years I've tried to empathize with the LGBTQ community, as a number of my close friends and family are out as gay or have some varying degree of same-sex attraction. I've never felt like that was "fair" at all, in any way. Todd, your story brings home how difficult this can be for many, especially for those that want to stay active in the church. I just love you brother!!! for your courage, your goodness, your effort to do the best you can in a difficult situation. What an understatement! You're an example to us all. There is an answer to any and all suffering in this life, no matter what the cause of that suffering. The atonement of Christ is the overarching force that can and will mitigate and make right any/all suffering and unfairness, as well as redeeming us from death and our own fallen choices. Todd, your story brings this home in a very real way. Thanks again! (I know I've said thank you a lot already, but I feel like I can't say it enough.)
Thank you Todd! Stay strong and keep your covenants the best you can!
This was a beautiful testimony and story. If only we can view each other with a timeless lens.
Todd told an amazing story. Because he has such great command of his voice. It grabs your attention & keeps you focused on every word.
HE NEEDS TO WRITE A BOOK NOW. Let the world learn what a testimony of the atonement & repentance can do in healing their own spirits.
It is guaranteed that our bodies will be resurrected and made perfect. But only through the atonement will our spirits be whole & perfect, also.
However, Todd is correct. Only through spiritual sweat equity can the Lord heal our souls & make us truly complete as he is.
That will only work for those who maintain a high discipline level and if their SSA is not as strong.
What a powerful story!
So happy to see you were able to find your way back. Love you brother.
Beautiful story you told! Thank you!❤
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I needed to hear this so much. It teaches me so many things I need to know.
So POWERFUL!!! Thank you Both for this episode! Been a member of the church since I was 16, returned missionary and was married in the temple…Im also gay! Not married any more but we parted because we loved each other so much! My church leaders have always been amazing with me and my ward/stake members now are so loving and gracious! I’ve shared my story privately to many friends in the church and I agree with both of you… my journey has been a major BLESSING to me and to others!
So grateful to both of you and your stories!!
Brother Todd!!! You are so inspiring thank you for sharing your story. I love how authentic and real you are. Your story definitely needs to be heard by all. Your testimony of the Saviour moved my heart and I felt the truth of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you ❤ God bless you
Mahalo Todd for sharing your past. & present life's experience, my ears to ear to be a better person we have a wide variety of Heavenly Father's children
Thank you Todd for sharing your story. I can relate so closely to so much of your story as a gay man myself. I left the church in the early 2000’s after a very negative experience with my disciplinary council. I removed my name from the records and walked away. I’ve spent two decades with a very bad taste in my mouth for the church and for God. I ‘m happy that you found your way back to God and church, as much as I would like to feel the feelings again I think that’s where our paths diverge. As much as I’ve searched and studied in recent years I’ve not found those feelings of the spirit. I don’t feel that there is a place for me at the table. I guess I’ve just done too much and gone too far to feel or find my way back. And maybe that’s all part of the plan. They say he knows the beginning from the end; he knew what my choices would be after my mission and as a result knows it would be a waste of time trying to bring me back. Thanks Ashly for these episodes, I’ll keep watching as I enjoy hearing the stories of those who God does help find their way back.
Oh no no no! God is not the one giving you that message. Remember Alma and the sons of Helaman were the very vilest of sinners. And look at the impossible work they accomplished. The thousands upon thousands they converted against all odds. Turn back to God and see how he can use you to bless other’s lives. And your own!!
You are have never gone to far out of reach of the Savior, as soon as you turn to Him, He is there!
God would never give up on you. He loves you too much. Jesus already paid the price for your sins, He isn't going to give up on you now! Remember what Todd said at the end of the video-- keep trying and don't give up on God or yourself. I went through a time of being unable to feel the Spirit due to mental illness and sometimes I thought God wasn't listening to my prayers and I wondered if He had given up on me. After I chose to believe and trust God, the light slowly came back. It took a few years, but now it is as bright as ever.
I'm sorry about your bad experience. We all have a lot to learn. We all fall short of the perfect example of Christ. But don't let anyone, including yourself, make you doubt God's love for you.
Wonderfull !
God will never, ever give up on you. As you choose to trust in God and choose to believe that He loves you, you will start to see His hand in your life. But you have to choose to believe first! You will always have your agency to choose God, so choose Him! It's never too late.
Thank you.
I love this channel..
Thanks!
Thank you so much!
I meant to say you’re incredible !
Luke 5 8-10: "When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, Depart from me; for I am a sinful man, O Lord ... And Jesus said unto Simon, Fear not"
💙
This was a good listen! As the world, and inevitably the people in even God’s true church and others who are good God fearing people, move more and more AWAY from God and His teachings and into the now more attractive and accepted teachings of man, we will see more and more suffering from selfish lifestyles. I’m not talking about those .5%- 1.5% of the world who truly “experience” same sex attraction, but those who would choose it based off of changing social norms as some sort of social contagion, are pure evidence of the great falling away. There’s no way that 40%-50% of our youth are truly experiencing it on their own, it is not possible unless something more sinister is going on. I think we all know what is going on and it’s sad. I have three very straight children who I have to now be concerned about what our own woke Mormon community says to them, what their ever becoming a majority queer teachers and principals are saying to them (had one say to his class that the kid’s parents are fire breathers, knowing there would be no repercussions) etc. This man hit the nail on the head, that those truly seeking God and seeking to become like Him in procreation and rearing of families and sealings etc, are the ones who are truly happy as true happiness IS Godliness. Our desires are our desires though and our free agency is our free agency and nobody is the same, I get it. But this gentleman understands and I love him and accept HIM for overcoming his struggles in life that also afflict many of us. Thanks for sharing this magnificent story! Welcome back, brother Todd.
I think this is great that this man found the a way back from drugs and alcohol through the church. I don't know that all of his problems are solved. What happens when he marries a woman and finds that something is really missing in his life? And if he decides to live true to his gay self, and realizes that the church does "accept" the gays, but only to an extent. They cannot have the temple blessings which is ultimately the goal of all LDS members to be exalted with God. Yes, God does love all people regardless, gay or not. But the LDS church does not accept them the same way.
I'm happy for this man that he has found happiness, don't get me wrong. I just think it's sad that someone cannot live their life authentically, and will always just be covering it up.
@JulieSnowstudiojuliesnow3698 Hi Julie, I am helping Todd write his story. What I have learned from Todd is that gay people are not a monolith or think the same way. Todd believes differently than most. He believes he is happiest living the Gospel of Jesus Christ despite not being in a gay relationship. The key to Todd's success is focusing on other people. He continues to be a sponsor and mentor to people who struggle with addictions. By doing what God has called him to do, he believes he is being his most authentic self.
A common misconception that people have about the church is that it will solve all their problems. That is not what the church teaches and that is not the point of life. The church is here to strengthen us in our trials through the atonement of Jesus Christ. That is how we become more like Him. This life is not meant to be easy, it is meant to be purifying.
yes exactly! I am also glad he found happiness but I also think its sad that someone cannot live their life authentically and will always be covering it up and many gay people have sadly ended up committing suicide and it's just all so sad :(
Todd, I'm so sorry for this messed up world. It's the world and this sick society that makes us feel like that. It teaches us what is "normal" and it's that idea of "normal" can't be and needs to be fixed. We all don't need to be fixed into a "normal' estate. Our Father loves us the way we are, and gives us the chance to reach our greatest potential. There's no "normal", "normal" is so toxic and sick. You are perfect how you are and the Father will always love you. I'm married to a bisexual woman, and since she came out, and all of around her loved her the same, she is happier with her life and with her beautiful world.
❤супер❤
Super🙏💫♥️
God bless you! Evil and unclean spirits: Have someone with faith in Christ that has the gift of discerning of spirits and the knowledge and power to cast out devils, demons, evil and unclean spirits. These immoral thoughts whether opposite attraction or same attraction do not originate from the person. I've talked to others who have been successful in having those spirits banished and experienced the entities leave. Their thoughts and feelings were immediately different. There are many experiences and different ways that this can happen. If fasting, prayer, repentance are in full force, the power of God heals all. Jesus Christ and his disciples, apostles and believers have the right to command evil and unclean spirits to depart. The person must be strict to obey the Lord or the evil will return with greater intensity. We can do it personally on our own with the direct intervention of Christ or we may need to call upon the Lord's educated, initiated and empowered servants to assist us in this. Again, God bless you in your efforts!
I am bi-sexual and I never wanted children. I am very happy in my life without having children or being married. You have to be happy with yourself before you can happy with anything else in your life.
@teezee2823 Ahhh, but God does not. I’m so sorry about your sister. 😢
This message is for Todd, I hope he sees it, he will understand what it means.
C F M ……… The Lords Vineyard
Seriously?
@kennethbailey9853 Can you expound on your thoughts?
De he seriously just say that it's just the norm for gay couples to cheat in each other?!?!?
Heartbreaking story. My sister similarly attempted suicide several times. She unfortunately finally succeeded. I have to say that his personal “gay lifestyle” experience does not represent all gay couples. We know several gay couples, all in long term happy and committed relationships. I’d only advise that if he wants to be in an LDS based faith that he join The Community of Christ (formerly RLDS) which fully accepts gay marriage.
OMG I am SO sorry about your sister that is incredibly heartbreaking! :( it upsets me so much to hear about gay people taking their life! :( I agree I'd only advise that if he wants to be in an LDS based faith that he join the Community of Christ as well!
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹