Aging & Alone: Asian American living alone in New York City
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ส.ค. 2024
- Ms. Chu, a Chinese American immigrant, lives alone in NYC. But living alone does not have to mean being alone. Organizations like Hamilton Madison House care for seniors living in social isolation. Donate: www.gofundme.c...
We are heartened that this video has been meaningful to so many people across the world. Many of you have asked so we want to provide an update about Ms. Chu: her physical condition requires that she remain mostly at home but she is receiving high-quality home care. We ask that you please kindly make a donation to better equip Hamilton-Madison House to support Ms. Chu and hundreds of others contending with the common challenges of aging, especially in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic and rising anti-Asian racism.
According to AARP, more than half of all seniors aged 75+ in the United States live alone. Living in isolation without strong support significantly raises the risk of injury and illness. Seniors in the Asian American Pacific Islander community are especially vulnerable, often facing the added burdens of poverty and language barriers.
This video is brought to you by AARP. To learn more about ending social isolation, please visit Connect2Affect powered by AARP Foundation at connect2affect...
Thank you to Hamilton-Madison House for supporting this story. Hamilton-Madison House is a non-profit settlement house established in 1898 to improve the quality of life for NYC. It operates senior centers in Chinatown/Lower East Communities with 5,000+ members citywide offer health, social and nutritional services to seniors over 62.
Learn more about Hamilton-Madison House at: www.hamiltonmad...
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APRIL 2024 UPDATE: At 94 years old, Ms. Chu is an inspiration, still living in the same NYC apartment, as shared in the video. Despite the natural hurdles that come with age, such as mobility issues and hearing loss, she's managing well with the support of her attentive home aide. The Hamilton Madison House (HMH) team checks in with her and other elders like her to ensure they have access to a caring community and resources. TWO ASKS:
(1) Ending social isolation starts with a hello. Say hello and check in with an elder in your community. Remember: You may live alone, but you don't have to be lonely.
(2) If you are interested in helping HMH combat social isolation faced by seniors, donate here: www.classy.org/give/470209/#!/donation/checkout
We are moved by the outpouring of concern and the desire to help from so many of you. Thank you. We all age. Starting right now, we can give each other the gift of human connection.
good to hear. 94 is incredible...
Thank you very much for the update. I'm very happy that she is alive and well and 94 and strong. I believe Independent living can be fostered very well with fantastic home care aide and services and follow-ups. By keeping her in her apartment and providing her services she should be able to live many more years and her independence and dignity is vital. My best of luck to her from many more healthy and prosperous years ahead.
I heard she said “侬吃.” She’s from the same city where I’m from, Shanghai.” 😊 Many Shanghainese moved to Hong Kong after 1949.
Mr Chu should move to China, Old people have very active lives there.
Thank you so so much for the update. Please continue to care for the vulnerable and lonely elderlies in NYC. I will do my part too.
I wish no old person is left alone.
This is what Gazini was talking about taking care of our elders.
kurek
I'm looking for a choice one day since me and my husband are childless.we are at our 40's . hope I'll die first before him.i am scare to live alone.
Always live a good and be good to people when you're young
@B Chow Trust me... it's not as great as it sounds. Most of the children torture their parents. Some of them treat their parents as slaves. Some of them take them to old age homes.
If you’re out and an elderly man or woman stops to talk, just hold a conversation with them. You maybe the only person they have spoken to all week. Be kind to ppl
I do. Because we never know, that few minutes of conversation could be what keeps them going (some people commit suicide due to loneliness).
When I was pregnant with my first son I went to a laundry place to wash my boyfriends clothes while he slept.
I left at 6 am so I can be back at 8am.
Well around 7:30am I was on a table cutting out some paper for my baby shower. This senior citizen came up to me and she was so polite and started telling me how cute my cuttings were. And she was happy for me. She sat across from me. And we talked. I helped her load her clothes to wash and even though my clothes were done and folded. I stayed with her and gave her company til her clothes were done washing. I helped her and took her clothes to dry.
While drying I sat next to her. Im glad I stayed cause there was this loud annoying guy and said something towards her. I defended her. And he asked me if I was her caretaker. I said no she is my close friend. She told me her daughter after marrying her husband sent her to the senior citizen facility cause they couldn't take care of her.
I took a picture with her. Her name is Mary. And she said her kids don't visit nor grandkids. Her husband died also.
I folded her clothes and sheets and gave me sheets. But I donated them cause I didn't need them. She also gave me a candy and hugged me. And she cried and I cried.
My only regret is I told her I was goin to visit her after I delivered. And I never did. I let her down. But I did stay with her til almost 11am-12pm even though I had plan to leave at 8am.
@@sromero6738 don’t feel bad. You’ve done a lot for her. I read all of this and I’m so touched by everything. There is this cleaner at my College and she was always pretty sweet and people would kind of laugh at her sometimes, not that they bully her but they just find certain things she does humorous.
I am especially well-mannered towards the elderly so I would be polite with my greetings and she took a liking to me for that and we would have little conversations here and there. But one time she told me her birthday was coming up and my friends were with me and they were just laughing at the situation when she left and calling her weird. I felt really bad, but she does seem to have some issues, however i still say hello etc.
@@aestheticli3944 awwww. I know its hard. But by you saying hello and doing small talk with her. You probably made her day.
They are innocent and at one point in their lives they were strong and healthy. And with old age mental health gets the best of the great people and its sad to see. That the people you admire most and are hero in your eyes become defenseless and weak. You did great!
@@aestheticli3944 thanks for taking time reading my encounter with a wonderful woman and my guilt.
It’s so funny how people say if you don’t get married you will die alone but people still get married and end up living and die alone
You’re so right, I m married, have 6 children and 11 grandchildren, four of my children and 9 grandchildren living in Europe, two children living here and 2 small grandchildren, the only one who visit me is my youngest son and his wife when they have time off work and my oldest son in Europe calls me a few times a week, I feel lonely even with my husband around, I feel sad and lonely and wish I could go back to my own country. I’m even not that old, 65 years.
@@diniemadsen4778 I agree even though I am not old yet I'm still 26, there's nothing like living in you home town or country... With lots of familiar places and memories. I used to feel lonely away from home every now and then.
It's a mantra for men, not women
....People also say you should have children for this reason. But having worked in a nursing home, most of the residents did have children but rarely had visits from them. ......Fact is you came into this world alone and ultimately must leave it alone. Rather than fearing loneliness you should try to embrace and conquer it.
@@pigeonlove I never thought about that. But that’s pretty true.
Not a popular opinion but I actually feel happy after watching this! I know a lot of people are sad for her, but on a positive note, I’m glad she doesn’t have any disease/disorder that might have disabled her and resulted in being stuck in a Long Term Care. She’s living freely, even takes the bus to be physically active and still meet other people. I admire her strength!
Yes, we also wanted to show her resilience!
That's a great point, although she has no direct family... this video shows that she has many friends that care about her and that seems to be the driving force for her to wake up everyday and venture out... she definitely is resilient and still full of life
Absolutely that drives her life and being alone keeps her active. She is not dependent on others.
I agree! She seems very happy and cute, and filled with a lot of optimism about the future! She is still surrounded with great friends and that's so important. :)
Back in their time, they learned how to appreciate and have a relationship with themselves vs the codependent relationships you see today.
It’s bad enough dealing with loneliness as a healthy adult. Imagine being older and not having anyone.
So damn true. I'm 31,just moved to China a month ago and man, the loneliness is real sometimes. I've never been one to really need to be around people, but this experience has proven to me that everybody needs somebody.
Vicki Thebus it’s kinda ironic how a person can feel lonely in a country with such a large population. On that note it’s ironic how anyone can feel lonely in a world full of people. Like the video says all I takes is a simple hello. People are so caught up in their lives that they miss opportunities to make new friends. I hope you meet someone or find something to help you overcome that loneliness feeling.
@@racoonzattack Always had dogs around when growing up and had to leave my husky with my mom when I moved. So I think I'll get a pup! That should help with some nonjudgemental company lol what do you say 😅
@@racoonzattack And yes I agree. Everyone is so involved with themselves to care about the next person. Gosh I think we could go on and on about this subject.
Am a 56 years old woman and I am in the same position. Never had any children, still I am working. When I come home the silence is loud it's just me. I Look after my elderly parents as well.
I don’t care what anybody says, seniors should never be left alone. I’m glad she’s still healthy enough to be independent, but she still should have family and friends nearby. Nobody should ever be alone and lonely.
Ideally, an elderly person should be living with or close to family
Rudyspective 1 Agreed. It’s disgraceful.
Rudyspective 1 I am
Recovering PickMeiShah that’s just it I am
ZCorp Alpha right they only hurt u
This is why senior centers are so important.. This is like the only place where they can socialize and see their friends..
I would hate to live or be in a center when I get older.
@@roseashley2448 that's just you. Elderly people nneee to socialize
@@youraveragepasser-by7367 not all elders are alike
Depends which ones you put your loved ones on. Some are absolutely depressing, some are OK. Have 4 friends work in both the shit ones and some in Beverly hills, sunirise something retirement I think for the beverly hills one.
And church
I took care of my Mom till the day she passed away, she was 95 years old, I did everything for my Mom, I never left her alone ,, she was my world . I miss her so much with each passing day.
My mum passed last year at 71. I wish I'd had more time with her, and to care for her as she was getting older. Take care ❤
Mine was just 44😢
ugh, i'm so scared for her that some idiot could randomly attack her while she's walking alone on the streets. this is just so sad...
Yes, she is too precious. I wish someone could help her cross the street.
so sad and yet so true. It shows what's society have become. Where we don't even feel free/safe to walk the streets alone without the thought of being attacked.
ESPECIALLY during the pandemic
I think a community effort to walk elderly Asians to where they need to go should be put in place somehow. Like an assigned buddy to help them. They shouldn't be walking alone right now.
We should all hope and pray for that to never happen with anyone
I'll never let my mom live like this. Even if I have a family of my own, she's staying with me.
you are a good child
Same
My mom is elderly I have my own immediate family but she lives with me she is my hero I make sure she is ok in every possible way I adore the times we r spending together sometimes I took spontaneous pics of her am there for my mom every step of the way
guess is how your mum treat you when are young , the need to shower back the love
Same here! But based on what she says it seems like she doesn’t have any children. She might have nieces and nephews back in Hong Kong
This was filmed 6 years ago, I hope Ms Chu is doing well. I hope she is still alive and thriving. She's so sweet.
And I hope she survived the pandemic too 😢
She is. Check the pinned comment
I don’t feel sad or pity for her, she’s happy with friends during the day and go back home in the evening to have some time for herself. She’s not alone! She’s healthy and can take good care of herself. Besides, I don’t see anything wrong with being alone. Not everyone have social needs. Thank you for your positive energy, grandma
She is resilient
@@NextDayBetter is she ok at the moment? Despite the pandemic
Who gonna call the ambulance when you fall and break your bones. Who gonna call when you get sick or a heart attack. At home alone
Introverts can relate so much. The fact that she's also surrounded by other Asians just makes me happy for her.
nah i dont agree
It breaks my heart that NYC is extremely dangerous for them now :(
Yup! Between the pandemic & racist attacks...it's dangerous out there now!😞 Am 🙏🏼 for her.
Agree, it really breaks my heart thinking the possible things that can happen to these beautiful people
NYC is super dangerous especially since they defunded 80% of their police force.
Exactly what I was thinking. Hope Po Po hasn't been shoved onto the sidewalk.
from the positive side - there is very large chinese community that she feel comfortable with and have social life, meanwhile the public transportation is convenient for her to commute.
As long as I’m alive my granny and my mother will never have to worry about being alone. That’s a promise!
Prolific thank you for making this promise! Now, what shall we do about all the elders that live alone?
@D H oh il get married and have a family with my mom n dad living with me il buy a nice big house
Respect.
Bless your heart.
Extended family for aging parents & grandparents who raised & supported you is the best deed you could ever give them in their golden age!
I would do the same if I was given a chance!
🥰🤗🙏🤝💖
Her husband used to work at my Mother’s senior center as a senior volunteer. She is a super nice lady.
This is heartbreaking.
Is she ok now? Sine we are having a pandemic
May God protect this defenseless beautiful soul. The world today is a dangerous place.
The world has always been a dangerous place.
@@Loleini91 I don’t remember black dudes beating old Asian people back then? Maybe I missed something.
I just wanna give her a hug and hangout with her!
We love her! Please support the Hamilton Madison House. Their senior center caters to elders living alone.
Me to
Me also
Nathaniel Leeson thats what i feel too
You are very kind.
With all these attacks on the elderly in the Asian community, I hope she’s doing okay. We must watch over one another.
Im.in USA
Definitely! I wish we could do the same for all ages & races as well. I know its cheesy think to say but who cares I want peace on earth. All these attacks hatred is so senseless🥺
Amen to that
@@angelabakloyvovtchaikovsky1609 how many have happened so far ?
Uhhhh so warm 😍
In most of Africa, we dont have "centers" , your parent either lives with you, or goes to the village where the other extended family is. There is always a grandchild or a relative who will take care of them.
@@user-iu5wr3en3j I wont say West Africa, because am from East Africa and we do the same thing.
Most of Africa in general practise what I stated.
Same in Latin America
I live in Australia my Dad is living with my brother and his wife..
Our mum is onky 7 minutes drive from me and I check in on her daily.
In time when she is less independent I shall move in with her..
I'm glad in Africa your families take care of eachother..thats how it should always be
@@nickolabryant9866 that's very good. Our parents need us in their old age.
In Africa, there are in some cases on average 7 or 8 children per mother more per father, that is not working solution. It just leads to poverty. Which leads to immigration. Which leads to those kids living in Europe and not with their parents.
Being young myself, I think we should take a stand, and go find older people who have no support system to check on, talk to and support them in any way possible. This world would be so much better.
Selfish world everybody only care about them and they family that's it.
Young people are just as lonely, age has nothing to do with it
@@pigeonlove facts!
It's great to find young empathic people. The world needs to be more compassionate with others regardless of race. 💜
absolutely, great idea 👍
She's alone but she says she has many friends. She has a social life and doesn't seem lonely. That is way better than having toxic family members around, in my opinion.
I agree.
Whap, yes but for how much longer can she make that trip. Coming out of the house and catching those buses in NYC it is not an easy task for a senior who is alone. I was afraid when I saw her walking to catch the bus.
@@agustindejesus7398 with medicaid, she should be able to sign up for senior bus transportation (free) to bring her to the centers, home, bank, etc. Hopefully she takes the transportation. It would be safer.. i hope shes healthy and safe ♡
My grandfather used to ride the bus (even when we offered to drive him or call a cab) and walk for the sake of exercise/freedom to go wherever he wants. This could be how she feels about it..
I agree with you, plus elder abuse is usually done by close family members.
In the last few years, senior care centers have risen especially in queens, NYC. They also provide transportation & field trips/food/social events.. my friend works at one and at her workplace they offer tech classes for the elderly as well :)
If they need to go to the post office, bank, or have paperwork, they help them ♡
Exactly. Toxic family members sucks and annoying. That's the reason why I left home at a young age and lived and survive on my own.
If you know someone like this in your neighborhood, go take them a cookie & hangout for 15 mins. It'll probably make their whole day. And they might teach you something too. Older folks are often full of wisdom that they're willing to share for free. 😌
Edit: I had no idea this comment would blow up. To the haters - I hear y'all. Sending love & best wishes for 2020. 👍
Exactly, I do that and whoever i visit they get very excited to see someone visiting. Then they tell you stories of their time, their life experiences, and that definitely is a bunch of free knowledge to absorb.
No offense but lonely old people usually act like little children and talks way too much making everything into arguments.
Those three people up there 👆🏻 are shitsss..
Are you mad..you have no idea about them old nutters were i live..no thanks ..
A cookie? What are they, ducks at the pond?
This is a reasons why i leave my dream & my job after my mom passed, i am come back home & stay with my dad for rest his live, because all i have is him right now ♡
Anak yang baik
Blessings to you and your dad.
My neighbor was exactly like that, and i remember when I was a kid that my mom would always go visit her after work, to drink some tea with her, while bringing the cakes. I still remember the joyful smile in her face, when she will open us her door. Her only son died, and she would always talk about him with my mom before crying, and then my mom would hug her. She was a really sweet old lady, and we considered her like a member of the family.
Aww your mom was an angel.
This is so sweet. Respect
Your mom’s a good person. She probably understands how it feels to be Lonely 😔. Bless her..hope you will do the same in future
God bless your mom.
You come from good people.
This is both beautiful and heart breaking. Beautiful because she is utterly lovely and so beautiful. And heartbreaking because with so many people in the world no one should ever be/feel alone x
Well said 😢
I got excited seeing Wayne Goss on a non beauty related video... and also because his comment speaks for many. What a lovely lady and it makes me sad. She reminds me a bit of my grandmother, and though my grandma wasn’t always alone, I sensed a lot of loneliness in her as she reached an age where she no longer had self agency. Plus her husband passed away almost 40 years until she did so it was a very lonely life in general. No person should have to feel that longing and loneliness. Want to give her a hug
Wayne i love your videos you are amazing!! ❤❤❤❤ awesome to see you watch the same things we mere mortals do...and agree with your comment 100%!! We need to volunteer and spend some time with the elderly in our communities-- they tell the most amazing stories
The truth 💔💔💔
Beautiful words
Heartbreaking. Please be kind to the elderly. We will all get there one day.
that is so right
It's like death😢. We will all die
Im wondering. How is she today. I hope that she is still doing okay.
Same..
I was wondering the same thing too.
Me as well. I praying that she is doing fine especially during this pandemic….
I can only wish her the best
@@dvdfoo Imagine how hard the pandemic must've been. Oh no.
Loneliness is hard for young people, can't imagine how much harder it is for the elderly.
I honestly could live the rest of my life without meeting another person and I'd not suffer. Just focus on self improvement.
@@Un1234l How old are you?
@@arbaazkhan4887
Why would that matter? Felt it all my life.
Harder if they don’t have life alert
I am happiest alone. I do not bear the bs that people talk in everyday life. Better to read Plato or Aristotle. In fact, living with more people in my appartment is like heel for me. But i understant other people life view. Exception: being with a woman on my bed hehe, but not living with her.
She walks the streets and no one knows that she is alone
soumds like me
@_nomorecheeseplz only if ur a girl
bbuildingmarch That’s off to a bad start already 😕. Making friends is about keep your mind open to ideas and conversations.
bbuildingmarch lmao 😂
bbuildingmarch so you are not alone , just a horny ass
What a life lesson: “Do all that you can to live happily, without worry.” Best wishes for Mrs.Chu!
this is how my late grandma lived in the Bronx for close to 15 years before my family migrated to the states. i was 11 at the time and I didn't really understand but as I got older I realized how hard and lonely it must have been and she did it for her family. she never stopped working in the medical field until the day she died. she passed last year, and me and my family owe our lives to her cuz we would not have had a smooth transition when we first came her without her. its a crime to disregard our senior citizens, let alone have them working at such an old age.
Thank you for sharing! Wow. Sorry to hear for your loss.
@@NextDayBetter thanks for reading!
If they want to work and healthy enough to work, why is that bad? The concept of retirement only applies when it comes to the collecting Social Security and Medicare. Other than that, you do (or not) what you want at any age.
This is horrifying for me. She’s so vulnerable and especially in a place like NYC where the culture is very much everyone for themselves. We need to begin the habit of being neighborly again, so we can make sure the people in our communities have what they need. No one should be alone like that.
Destiny Rodriguez Agree , NYC isn’t a place to vulnerable
Living in Rural Country , people are more Selfish than the City,
Its funny because I know you wouldnt do shit about this
HK can also be a lonely place.
@Crim Sin what do you mean she ain't alone?
Wow. I'm sitting in bed crying uncontrollably watching this. It breaks my heart so much that so many seniors are alone. I don't understand why we toss them aside after they've turned a certain age as if they are nothing. She seems like such a sweet woman. I wish I could give her a hug. This has motivated me to get out there and volunteer at a senior facility
Awww you have such a tender heart. I love people that can really feel empathy for others.
Don’t act like just because someone’s old, that means that they deserve family. Many old people don’t have anyone else because they were despicable people. Let’s be real. You being old doesn’t grant you the gift of being a pure saint all of a sudden. For many old, (not all), this is their karma.
@@suxxccessbusiness6298 Was about to say you sound like an asshole, but what you say is true. My grandmother neglected her eldest child all her life - at times nearly to the point of death - and now that my grandmother is aging no one wholeheartedly wants to support her or keep her company. To top it off, my grandmother sadly continues to lie about my family towards others when we've done nothing more than shower her with unparalleled hospitality. It hurts because ultimately she is still family, but it's a life she's chosen to live: lonely and miserable.
@@suxxccessbusiness6298 don't matter if you were good or bad, you live old enough chances are you'll die alone, literally outlived your usefulness to society.
Unison Clearly missed my point. We all know that the majority of people die alone...
Seniors are often forgotten by society and I wish there were more government programs to fill this void and shine a light to this so no elderly person goes hungry or feels isolated.
Please do say hello to an elder today. Isolation kills. We can all help to stop that.
she speaks Mandarin. anyone that speaks Mandarin in NY please speak to her & watch out for her.
even if you don’t speak the same language as her, give her & other elderly pple attention.
it is so sad that Americans don’t care or respect elderly pple
They don't
@@leejianne5342 please don't say that.. I live in China and many, many things here are very bad.. Especially about respecting..
American have an ego problem that why
Mandarin speaker almost live in america while Cantonese people in canada
@@biasaigon7155 she's from Hongkong so she speaks Cantonese
I pray that everyone is safe during this pandemic. Especially our senior citizens 🙏🏾
Keith Harris Amen 🙏
So much for prayer. It did not work. So many already died in horror and were not safe after you wrote.
Amen
Thanks for your concern ! Good night.
I hope so too, especially bc of the recent attacks on elderly ppl
Her “bye bye” and “xie xie” are so precious
I'm 23 years old but i feel like this will be my future. Dying alone
Why is that? You still a long road to walk on my friend
Same
@@elizabethcamacho615 Some of us in our 20s don't really got very long
Me too. I'm 19 but I can't see my life going anywhere fuck this
Well Ive been in my 20s and life isnt always peachy. Im right there w you my friends and the struggle gets real.
She is so precious. I’m glad she is able to access a center so she has support and a social outlet.
Was wondering how she's going by during the pandemic 🥺
Scares me to think that this may be my life when I’m old and mentally preparing myself for it.
😭😭😭
My older siblings always tell me to find someone because of this lol.
Go make some friends
Mary Luzille Mirabiles Even finding someone may not prevent this circumstance. In this case her husband died.
@@KA-rp5uh yah. So might as well just enjoy the present and be happy!
That wedding picture - what a stunner!
Such a beautiful picture! I wish I could give her a big hug.
She looks so vulnerable when out by herself. Seniors are like kids to me, I feel the need to protect them. I hope people are kind to her
My grandmother passed away at 81 last year and lived alone. It’s what she wanted. She lived in a home on land she worked hard to keep. Her sisters didn’t live far. That was very important in her situation. I think she valued her independence. I would joke that we were kidnapping her when we finally got her to visit with us out of town. I wished she would spend more time but I understand that she felt a lot of peace in her own space
The way she says thank you after someone holds the door for her. So cute.
I have a Chinese friend whose mom used to do that too. I used to hang around their family a lot, less so these days but when that old lady said "thank you" it sounded exactly like my friend's mother used to sound. She was also Cantonese from Guangdong, only knew a few words of english. Sadly passed away but at least got to see the birth of several grandchildren.
I wish that we clone all of the decent, loving, caring human beings, so that no one ever has to experience such isolation at any age!! ❤❤
@@Ariels888 Even if you clone people, it does not work out that way. Caring people is not a genetic thing. All that crime in bad neighborhoods are created, nit a result of genetics.
Math for Life She's expressing a wish for more caring and loving people in the world. Just be quiet and get real. Maybe you understand if your name was "People" or "Love" for Life.
@@rasbaby7 And you would understand my human view too, if you try for a moment. It is very real.
As a native New Yorker I can tell you NYC is soooo not the place to retire/grow old. Get out before your 60’s if you can
I ain’t never been to New York but I can definitely agree with you on this!
I agree. NYC is grey and cold especially in the winter where the tall buildings block out direct sunlight. There’s a lot to do and eat but concrete everywhere.
Let’s not forget a fall on icy snow for a senior can be deadly. This story sad. I remember when I was a child. Me and mom would go to nursing homes to visit seniors. We would visit a lady from my mom’s childhood and cut wood for her. The lady didn’t have any children. Then she got to where she could not stay alone and one of her younger neighbors took her in and cared for her. Times have changed. I think just the small things can brighten a person’s day. If there are senior in the neighborhood stop by say hello, cook them a meal, and ask if you can do anything for them. A small act of kindness can mean so much to a senior who is lonely.
It is and who told u that
@J thelo324 only a few cities that are walkable? There are good bit of states that rarely get snow in the in the south. When they do it’s usually not much. The snow can be dangerous for a elderly person especially a broken hip. This story is really heartbreaking. I am glad that she does have the center to go to. I agree with the lady who made the first comment. It is not a good place to retire.
As they say, one is born into the world alone, and dies alone. When you have people to support you, be grateful. When you don't have support, be grateful. Gratitude is the greatest gift, as it frees you from dependency. No one can take it from you, nor can they give it to you. Every other comfort is nice to have and isn't guaranteed, as demonstrated in this short doc. I feel this lady is on the journey to her freedom and bliss, which would be difficult in a nursing home. Proud of her.
She wakes up looking forward to seeing her friends at the center. I’m excited she has a bit of happiness that can help her through life.
That’s why we need for senior centers, especially for AAPI elders.
This will become even more common the lack of sustained relationships in our society is scary
High Power, You have to make appointment to see your children and most of the time they are not free. How sad!
@Justyna Stefania I. Exactly! 👏
Children are being thought to respect no one.And to love themselves only
@Justyna Stefania I. true! I ALWAYS think about getting old. For whatever reason people think we’ll be young forever but if God blesses us to live long who would wana be alone? You literally need family when you’re old the same way you needed them when you were a baby ya kno?
@Zsuzsanna Varga What you said is very sad but true😔
Its so scary and stresses me out so much it makes me suicidal
the way she said _bye bye_ is so lovely 🥺
I thought that very same thing !
I don’t know why…. I keep tearing when I look at this… God bless her🙏🏻
One of the most moving documentaries I’ve seen. I was praying and rooting for her from start to finish
Thank you! This comment brings so much joy to our team.
As a person who has no kids and who just had a significant other to pass and becoming widowed at 42, I have always felt like this will be my life. (Alone with no one) It’s really sad, but I’m glad she has somewhat of a support system.
💝
At 42 you can still have kid ( will be risky). But you can always adopt.
This will be all of us one day! Never underestimate what a little kindness can do for someone who needs it!
Sometimes sooner. I’m still young and my body went through a lot of trauma. I’m failing and my life has done a 180. Never thought that would happen to me. But here I am. No help is working. I feel like I went from healthy to a total physical mess. I watch Mrs Chu a lot lately. She’s so like able and sweet to everyone. I wish I could be near by her. Me and my wife would’ve visited her when I was well. If not both of us I’d send my wife to look out for her. I just find her very like able and don’t want anything to happen to her.
There are so many Asian seniors like this, and they're treated badly and seen with contempt. I'm glad she goes to a senior center where they treat her well, though. Being alone doesn't just affect seniors, but people of all ages, as these comments show. She seems like she was beautiful when she was young - her husband looked handsome in his pic on the wall.
Lunar She was beautiful and still is
Where you getting your facts from because if anything, Asians are the ones that take in their elders to live together - collective mentality.
@MaJo Buena different people different circumstances... The lady in the video didn't have children, her husband passed, they are migrants in the US so no brothers or sisters... So basically she just depends on the Chinese community there. It's good enough, even if not ideal
It’s the way Ms. Grandma says “Bye Bye” to everyone 🥺 Bless her cute little heart 🤎
I felt happy at the end of this. She took control of her life and heeded her friend’s suggestion of going to the community center and keeping busy and active. More than i can say for myself after leaving assisted living. I need to figure something out.
I hope you do Miss Rita! You only get one life. Try volunteer work, it always help to see others less fortunate than you.💓
We love the community connection happening in this TH-cam Chat: @BigMaMa2022 x @Ritamix33.
Can we just appreciate how stunning her husband and she looked like when young, like models.
Omg yes!
IKRR
I don't want to age.It terrifies me.
@@lauryn7840 Don't be afraid. Aging is a privilege, especially in light of the pandemic.
@@mszkamio What? No it's not lmao
I am blessed, my grandson live with me. I am 70yrs old.
He works,l go 2 Church and senior center.Thank u LORD!
Probably rent free, that is why. Fool yourself not, but at least everyone gets a benefit out of it..
What do you think the world can learn from your grandson? Thank you for sharing your story.
@Kayla Nguyen thank you. I know if I was in that situation, I would be grateful for the help and company and not charge my grandson anything. I'd also rather he saved his money
Dan :Americans are always so worried someones trying to get something from them. Entitled and selfish, that's why. FAMILY MATTERS.
@Kayla Nguyen That's the truth. When family is toxic: steer clear.
Bro I can't 😭😭 this is why I always listen when elderly people talk to me....who knows what their situation is like. Cherish them......
Remind me of my grandma,so loving and giving,she was also chinese.they are some of the loving harmless people,God bless all humanity
This is what Miss Universe Philippines Gazini Ganados was telling us but unfortunately the judges never seemed to care. No one should ever be left behind.
@Sharon ! "Men aren't concerned with women's issues". And that is why I can't stand this third wave feminism. "Oh boohoo, men are so bad and mean". Most of them really just aren't. There are so many great men out there, and so many men who have given their lives to protect their families, historically speaking especially. How dare you? Men and women should be treated equally for equal labor and etc., of course, but saying generalizing shit about men does not help anybody.
d campbell seriously? U dont have a heart and brain with that answer.how did u know they don’t want to have children? Have u met her before? Some couple,even they want to have a child,they have no luck on having one even they keep on trying ..thats so insensitive comment of u...
@d campbell Wtf is wrong with you? Put yourself in her shoes, let's see how you'll feel on what you commented here.
@d campbell how do you know she chose that? It's not so simple to have children some people just can't. And maybe they don't want to adopt either. So they just try to live their life as full as they can! How dare you make such a snap judgement on an elderly lady who is still grieving the loss of her husband. You do not make snap judgements on anyone regardless. How insensitive.
@d campbell we don't expect you to. Everyone's doing their own thing. Noone made it your problem. The problem was your complaining about her "choosing" not to have children/grandchildren. Sometimes it's not a choice. It would be nice if more ppl could just try and understand each other abit more no need to help but just empathise. But it's up to the ppl not me.
I like what she's made of. There's no self pitying on her part. Mrs. Chu just puts one foot in front of the other every day.
How she do that ?
She has no choice.
@@shelleyoxenhorn833 sure she does. Some would choose to give up.
@@shelleyoxenhorn833 laughs in leftism
@@Evili555 "Leftists" generally are asking for better government systems so that people CAN put one foot in front of the other.
This elder has a community because of the AARP foundation, which is subsidized by federal funds. And she gets around via public transportation.
As soon as she spoke I new I was going to bawl. I’m Chinese-American and she sounds just like my grandma and I can’t bear the thought if she was all alone
Heart Breaking staying with family is a blessing which many don't have.
So be kind and spend as much time as possible with your parents.
I'm 70 with one daughter and one grandson who I never see in past 4 years. I'll probably age alone but God will never leave me. I pray for this Mama may God take care of her to the end !
I’m so sorry dear it pains my heart to hear that you’re alone. Its good to have faith and never forget that god will never leave you. I know it might seem like you’re completely alone, but i’m sure there are plenty in similar situations. Never feel ashamed to seek help. There’s always someone willing to help you. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck xo
For me, my husband and I offer to buy my mom $1 million home and she screamed and yelled at me. She treats me worse than a dog
We offer to buy brand new car. She screamed and said "you are trying to control my life"
I call her and offer 100s time to go look for brand new home, cul de sac, 3 car garage, 2 story. Each time she screamed and yelled. The worse mom ever seen
God and we got you just type and we talk
May God always protect and guide u ms. Franklin 🙏🌹🥰
@@animalrescuer80 Sometimes people are just ungrateful. Or maybe it could be that they’re going through some internal issues. You never know what someone is dealing with emotionally.
Just keep trying but don’t push yourself too hard.
You’re doing an amazing thing. Don’t let those who take advantage of your generosity stop you from being generous.
But always remember to set boundaries. You don’t want people to take advantage of you. Sometimes when people are toxic no matter how hard you try its good to just distance yourself
Who’s watching this during Covid praying Mrs. Chu is ok?
Of course the prsssssst
She's speaking Shanghai dialect! Oh I miss my grandparents.
I've been a loner all my life. What can you do about it? If people don't want you, you have to go on.
One of my friends told me that in her neighborhood there's an old asian lady residing alone.
My friend however often checks on her and tells her to call her whenever she needs helps.
Bless your friends
Great people!👍
Bless her soul
Good Friend!
One day I remember I met an old lady in Whole Foods and she was living alone senior. She asked me for a little help, and it turned into an another conversation. She was living alone but had a son, who doesnt come and visit her. I felt so sorry to her and I bought for us the lunch and we had such a great time together. Always be kind to old people, they need most support and care, especially when they are left alone.
You don’t know what kind of evil person you’re dealing with…. There could be a valid reason their children no longer deal with them . The elderly were once young once and may have not been good people
@@thetruthandnothingbutthetr6484 there is no reason to assume that she was a bad person just because she was alone. Its not good to immediately assume the worst about total strangers, or else there wouldn’t be kindness in this world at all
@@ReyReyzzz I can assume whatever the hell I want to just like you assume she wasn’t a bad person
As I assume you are projecting your own experiences here. @@thetruthandnothingbutthetr6484
@@thetruthandnothingbutthetr6484
The truth is you're just mean. Anyone can tell by your negativity.😏
Old people are so cute lol, I used to work at McDonald’s and this nice old man would always come in and be nice I still think about him 🤍 I hope he’s ok
She is doing what many young people in my generation fail to do: caring for herself, and finding people to be around to keep her spirits high, even if she has to do it alone, that is very resilient of her
This opened the floodgates of tears. Why is our senior citizens, our parents that sacrifice every thing to give their children the best, living alone in their golden years.
This is so true
western standards to leave them alone or in old age homes
I know right 😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺
Broke my heart too
their children r working n maybe jst renting a room. if d children r poor they can't take them.
I can’t stop crying.... loneliness feels like a slow, painful death sentence. The human touch, and sound of another’s voice is so important to one’s sanity. One of the most important things I’ve learned during this hellacious pandemic, it’s to be just a little more compassionate and empathetic towards others.
yeah so true
Loneliness comes in all ages.. But it must be harder when you´re old and less mobile, being younger you still can change that
She has much for which to be grateful (food, clean shelter, proper clothing, medicine) and the wisdom to know how to enjoy her life.
Absolutely!!
This is mrs. John Gray commenting using my deceased husband's telephone I just lost my husband of 52 years in June of last year I'm 88 years old I have no relatives near me no children, pretty much alone except for my good neighbors and I worry about being alone all the time with no one butmy cat now I've discovered that she hasfailing kidneys, loneliness is a horrible thing everyone needs to talk to a human being once in awhile I hope I will have someone to be with me when I need them a caregiver that is compassionate and caring that's all we can hope for but loneliness is a horrible thing, I know personally.
I was crying the whole video like this makes me want to hug every elderly person I see honestly
There are so many alone with so many folks around. Once you get used to it. Its hard to open up or even attempt making friends.
It's just getting harder and harder to make friends as people get older
Her husband looks so good in their wedding photo..
suganya Devi for real
They both look nice.
I bet the d was bomb as fuck too.
True, but it’s not really the point being made in the video.
Just stop
This is exactly why I hold doors, give up my seats, help cross the street if needed, help going up or downstairs, will do errands or just give a listening ear for the elderly. They are blessed enough to live long so I truly admire them. They have so much knowledge and wisdom that only time can give a person. May we all live long and have a peace within us that if we were to be alone, God and memories will fill us up and never leave our sides♥️
Being alone is not the same as lonely and being lonely is not the same as needing someone to care for you (caretaker). I almost have to delude myself to not consider the inevitable latter so I can have a chance of joy in my life 👩🏻🦳
I hope people from the center were able to check in on her during the covid lockdown.
When she says bye bye she is so sweet. I admire her she gets up and lives life! Bless her💖
We love her resilience!
Watching this makes me so sad, seeing old people like this reminds me that everybody else is going to get old and weak, and die.... :((
WHERE is her kids?
Eon Ko
She says she doesn't have ANY CHILDREN and she has no family, that's what she said in the beginning
Yoshi Girl this honestly is how I’m afraid of ending up
It's everywhere now
Being elderly approaches so much quicker than you think. It’s sad our society or most don’t seem to have time for them. I don’t think life was meant for us to end like this. Wish I knew the answer. Bless that lady in the video 🙏🏻
I’m glad there’s a community for her to socialize
We all need community, right?
I’m always friendly, but people being friendly back is the issue. I’m glad most cities have a senior center. Maybe they should advertise for more volunteers
I don’t like watching sad shit. Breaks my heart 😢
Aging is part of life 😓, at least she has a place to go and socialize, and she moves around on her own.
I cried while watching this…
Me too I cried 😥
Thats why you be good to your family cause in the future when your old you would need there support
This is what leaving in this world means.Not the money and glamorous and plastic things we see a lot out there.
There are people really in need but we just don't have the time to see it.
1:05 they were gorgeous when young
Very.
Agree! And her gown is beautiful.
The18, yes they were. Girls used to chase me when I was young....i was hot. Now I look like a broom without straw. A friend of mine used to said that at work years ago, and now I believe it. The only ones that find old people beautiful are the family.....but they are lying. ja, ja.
@@agustindejesus7398 lmao sick
My son helped an old lady get down the stairs at the church entrance.The lady started crying, she said it's been a long time since somebody had held her hands(she has 3 children and 6 grandchildren).
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
I stopped to get gas on my way to church and an elderly male at the pump next to me says "Hey, It's snowing right now in El Paso!" We chatted for an 5 extra minutes and right after that he goes "Thank you for letting me talk to you."
It was crushing to hear him say that. You could tell he was lonely and just wanted some human contact. His name was Bob and I was happy to see him walk away feeling acknowledged.
It's sad that old people walk around ignored and dodged because ppl view them as liabilities or old helpless children.
I LOVE OLD PEOPLE. I ask them about their lives and picture a movie playing in my head lol.
They LOVE to talk and they simply just want to be seen and heard just like the rest of us!
My heart goes out to the old and forgotten ppl who battle severe lonliness. IT'S TOUGH!
You got a good heart. Sometimes I believe the young ones don't realize that the old folks they come across were young once themselves. Same hopes and same dream.
This is a beautiful story. The word ‘acknowledged’ you used, is a strong word. I think all of us should acknowledge the elders to show that we see them and we care about them.
God bless you.
Hope people treat you the same way when you're old . People nowadays become very boring and I think it might be due to advance technology. Its hard to find friend or even someone to talk to as everyone become slave to social media and game that they have no limit they always play with their phone everywhere they go and there is no more cooperation and politeness compare to 2000s.I am not that good in English so I hope you excuse me.
@@yopeter101 ❤
So sweet. Like a school child looking forward to seeing her friends at the center.
It's helpful to have a large family. When my MIL was widowed, the 5 grown kids sent her $150 monthly to supplement her SS money. She would spend 3 or 4 months at one kid's house then move onto another. It was fun for her to hop around the nation as she pleased and nobody got jealous cause she made sure to visit us all.
This story has inspired me. I will look out for such elderly people in my community and offer assistance. Sadly we don't have nursing home setup in my country. May be in future I can plan to open and operate one.
That's a great idea! Wish you all the best.
Awe I want to be friends with the seniors. They have so much wisdom and they are so lonely 😭
You should volunteer at a rest home. I have been in health care for 6 years. And have worked with seniors for that time i can tell you it's very rewarding and sad at the same time.. But as long as you have the heart to do it. It's well worth it to help them..
Me too! 😔
Lmao you say that now...
You're awesome for wanting to do that.
Hmmm some annoying
How is she doing, especially at this horrible time?
Heartbreaking to see an elder so alone.
@Val Venus you're right.
So many of us are alone, eventually almost everyone will be. As a young person I never thought it would be me, but that is life.
This is so much break my heart coz living alone is like dying little by little coz of loneliness 🥺...
Especially in NYC. 😭
@@gentlerain88rain99 NYC has been and is fine. Don't believe all the lies on the news. The only thing hurting us, here in NYC and everywhere, is the gradual theft of our liberties, and using a weak virus to justify it.
her “bye bye” 😭❤️
Im not crying
You're crying
This is the saddest thing I've ever seen in my whole life.i wish she had someone to look after her 😥
Social workers are developing an idea around roommates for elders who have no one to essentially care for them or keep them company. I think its a great idea.
Fantastic idea!!! We love it.
That is really great...hopefully they can find a way where everybody is compatible and amicable.
No. Doesn't fix the problem
Sometimes you can be lonely in the middle of a crowd. I think if you lived your life to the best of abilities and you did what you wanted you can die peacefully even alone. Being alone with regrets is the actual nightmare.
That's sounds like a great idea!
FEB 2021 UPDATE: Ms. Chu is alive and well! ❤️ Many have asked how to support. Her physical condition requires that she remain mostly at home, especially during this pandemic. DONATE: www.gofundme.com/f/living-alone-does-not-have-to-mean-being-alone?+share-sheet+spider1v&
Ms. Chu inspires with her resilience. If you are in the position to give, please make a donation to better equip Hamilton-Madison House to support Ms. Chu and hundreds of other seniors in New York City who live alone and in isolation during this pandemic. Not many seniors are as lucky to receive dignified care and support. Your gift is precious - so thank you for supporting this trust-worthy non-profit and their work to care for our beloved seniors.
With love, the NextDayBetter Storytelling Team.
Happy to support. We need to take care of our elders and make sure they get their COVID vaccine shots. My little brother got my grandparents a Covid vaccine appointment via Twitter. I doubt Ms. Chu is on Twitter like that.
Donated! Makes me tear up watching this.
It is not that simpe. People are dying from this vaccine.
I’m in New York and I’d love to meet Ms Chu for a cup of coffee and breakfast
THANK YOU for the updates! We all wish her Well.
It’s okay to be alone I’m learning this in my 30s
wishing this lady the best of luck
This shit breaks my heart. Loneliness among elders srly such a concern.
I’m very close to my grandma and plan to live with them for as long as I can.
@Crim Sin What man? Her husband? She said her husband passed away. What are you talking about?