In the western world, its difficult to do it. We have to WORK WORK to make ends meet. And in the US, 70% of people are working paycheck to paycheck, barely making ends meet and could barely take care of ourselves. So I understand people who do not have time to care for their loved ones, its a 24/hr care especially if our love ones have dementia or alzheimers. You need money to care for the elderly, its not free and it requires time to work and make $$. But despite this, I know several families of all races who care for the elderly in the USA. It's just not talked about.
It may sound like a thought invoking question but it's a stupid one. Kids go to kindergarten, then school and quite soon they're able to be alone for a few hours per day when their parents are at work. A person with alzheimers or dementia can't be left alone. Where else are they supposed to go when their kids have to go to work? Having private carer is expensive. Imagine having to pay a ful living wage to someone. Unless you're rich, you can't.
I'm a physician and my sister is a nurse. My Mother died at the age of 88 and suffered from dementia the last 3 to 4 years of her life. My sister and I took turns caring for her in our own homes, but she begged to live in her own. So, our parish priest helped me find a wonderful immigrant couple in their 60's to move into my Mom's house until she died of a stroke. They treated her like family, and Mom was so happy. We paid them a monthly salary, and when Mom passed away, I gave them my portion of the proceeds of the house, so they were able to sell their home and live in my Mom's home debt free. They were the kindest people and a godsend!
Beautiful to read Delia . There is no care homes where my parents are from youlook after your own i have work for different agencues and care homes . We have beautiful glitz ab glam homes here now . When my turn comes i want less glitz and glam ,but more cares . L
If you live in the states with high immigrant population, many will be glad to be lived-in care giver for an affordable price. Nothing beats living in your own home. The one thing dementia patients remember is home.
I know someone who made a similar arrangement. A couple with a young adult son moved in. The husband had a job, the wife kept house and cared for the father. The son called him Grandpa. They were all Mexican, so the father liked the lady’s cooking and he was happy and well cared-for. His adult daughter lived nearby, and stayed overnight once a week.
You did the right thing, I always wonder if people are not able to do the job themselves, why not hire some one like you did. I like the lady who moved to Thailand to be with her mother. To live in Switzerland leave your wife in a other country is cruel
Same here. I am Mexican we take care of our own. I took care of my mother round the clock for 5 years after she became ill, sadly she passed 2 years ago. I now take care of my 92 year old father and I will do so until the good lords takes him home...It was an honor and a blessing to do so with my mother and its so with my amazing father.
I remember talking to a woman from Africa who immigrated to the US a few days prior. I asked her what things she found odd about America. She thought about for a bit then answered, “Two things: daycares and elderly homes- where I am from the elders look after the children. The children keep their bodies and minds strong while the elders teach the children. It’s a perfect system. I don’t know why this is not done here’. I’ve never forgotten her words. Our country is so broken.
It is not a child’s responsibility to look after the elderly. Elderly can not see to the children properly if I’ll and the child can not see to the elderly without proper training, knowledge and insight. To be clear….no child is responsible for an adult person. The child did not choose to be brought in this world, they are only responsible for themselves and their own life, no one else’s life.
@transplanted1599 it is one’s choice and free will to do as they wish, ultimately each individual is responsible for themselves, period. Just because a child was brought into this world, does not mean now they are responsible for the parent. It is a choice one makes according to what is best for their life. Adult Children need to stop feeling guilty if they can not mentally, emotionally, physically or financially look after a parent. If they can then they can, not everyone can do this. It is their right to choose and not be made feeling guilty because it is an obligation or duty. Your duty is to yourself, first and foremost.
White America brought this on everyone now there paying for it they want to put their burdens on Thailand they have there own elderly to look after who Isibg o cefor m
@@rainorshine7816 According to the word of God it is the responsibility of the fmily to care for their elderly family members.what are you an atheist old hearted human eing
exactly... but the people who farmed out their kids to strangers to care for them when their little, can't expect anything different from their kids when they get old.
My mother is my life, I make sure she is in good health & great care. I cannot be with her physically at present for I need to work to support all her expenses but I make sure she is in great hands. I will be retiring early to be with her, she is 87 years old now & I miss her. I phone her everyday to great her a good morning/goodnight & in between during the day. I worry when I cannot reach her phone. I can say that Mom is lucky to have me & my siblings, my question in life is, who's going to take care of me & my husband when were old?
@@charitznjusakots5007 I understand how you feel. it seems to me that people commenting on this video are either rich or on benefits. cause if you have a job and bills to pay you cant take care of your mother 24/7. you still love your mother.
As long as nothing happens to you . Don’t break any limbs. Don’t get cancer. Don’t get in any auto accidents. Don’t lose your vision . It’s admirable & I was able to have my dad with me his last 7 months , only because my husband was willing to stay by his side at night. We still had kids in elementary school and my dad got up all night long. He forgot he couldn’t walk and would fall if someone wasn’t right there. God bless my husband . The credit all goes to him.
Same as mine if parents can take. Care 10 kids how come 10 kids cant take care of their parents its sad parents live revolve around their children but when they grow their worlds only rovlve around them
I'm surprised tho why they don't live together in Thailand, adding a caregiver when she needs help or an evening out with her friends? Why is she living almost right next to him in a separate place yet only comes to "visit" him and lives a separate life? Shows she loves him, but it's odd, don't you think?
My grandmother had dementia in her late 80s. When she was not able to take care of herself anymore, my mom and her sister took turns having her at their homes for a month- periods. It was exhausting. My grandmother went to sleep at 7 pm and took walks around the house at 3 am as she could not sleep anymore. Obviously, my mom could not sleep either as she was worried grandma could hurt herself or set the house on fire. Another thing was that she followed my mom everywhere demanding to go home and arguing for hours. So when you finally felt she understands why she cannot go home, in 30 minutes she forgot all about it and the arguments started all over again. My mother started having very high heart rate and had to start taking medication. Half a year later, she picked up a phone and arranged a good care home for my grandma in the same town with 24/7 professional care. My grandma was taken care of, she had a family member visiting every day. She still wanted to go home, but my mom did not go crazy and could finally get some sleep and her health in order. It is easy to criticise if you never went through it.
Thank you for commenting this, sometimes it's possible to care for family at home if they have basic needs that fit in with the family's time, energy, and finances, but sometimes the elderly have drastic health needs that require 24/7 care, and their families have to work to make income, go to school, and even then what nurse can be on duty 24/7? Not to mention the average person doesn't have the training or the medical equipment to care for severe illnesses like dementia. Families that are able to have their elderly parents and grandparents in the home until they pass are in a position to be grateful they were able to do that, rather than to look down on others because their lives didn't work out that way. On top of that, it's much easier to care for the elderly in a home or family system with many siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, children that all live close. Many families nowadays the elderly will have 1 or 2 kids, and no extended family to speak of living close, or maybe none at all. If there is only one adult child to care for those aging parents, and they have to work 60 hours a week, how are they to properly see to the social and medical needs of their parents? Sometimes it's more merciful to put them in a home with other people. The real travesty is the quality of retirement/nursing homes available, not that families fall into a position of needing more help to care for their family members. Honestly if we had a public health service that covered home health aides as a matter of course, elderly would have far better outcomes and families might have enough help to keep more elderly relatives at home.
I spent 10 years taking care of other people's elderly relatives. I loved my job. In the USA many adult children are in the midst of demanding careers and have adult children & grandchildren, also. They are extremely busy. Many still find time to visit almost daily. Even if they live with their elderly relative, it can still be isolating because few people have the time to spend hours a day entertaining the loved one. And unless you have ever spent time with someone with dementia, it's impossible to understand the exhausting demands. Dementia patients can be very difficult to steer away from dangerous situations and have to be watched VERY closely. Also, most families are not prepared to do the bathing & toileting often times that's required. These care homes in Thailand sound wonderful!
In Africa, we stay with and take care of our elderly. Its fun to have them around. There is also more interaction between them, their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
But in Africa they are not aware of it, I read some post about an old woman who was burned alive, because they caught her at the neighbours house and she was confused, didn’t know her name, they then said she was a witch😭😭 Her children posted about it as an awareness.
This is also how it used to be in the west throughout history except for the last few generations. Wealthier nations tend to pay people to take care of their elderly and I think that is sad.
@@charleyshaaz of course in every society, there will always be a story or two that is way off, it does not mean we don't take care of our elders. Overall, Old age homes is something that we don't think of in Africa, we live and interact with our elders until their last day on earth, the way they prefer it. We Africans generally prefer it that way.
I have muscular dystrophy and can no longer walk so I needed assistance with ambulating. I looked at American nursing homes. The good ones were extravagant charging a fortune. Some even required huge down payment to. The places I could afford were overcrowded and understaffed. I moved to a care home in Colombia. The staffing ratios are amazing. I basically have what amounts to a studio apartment. A hospital bed, oxygen, a stirring area, a fridge in a small kitchen, a beautiful large patio. I am so happy here.
I'm truly happy for you. You've found a solution for yourself and it sounds like it is working out very well. In my elder years I will also need to find my own solution, for care. Thank you for sharing. I didn't know such places existed. You've given me hope.
I'm gonna want to have my mom and dad with me no matter their age, they've fed me, showered me, helped me walk when I was younger. The best I can do is the same when they get older.
God bless you ! I look after my mother and she’s 100 and I’m her sole caregiver, I have no siblings, She has dementia and it isn’t easy it’s a 24 seven job. You really have to find a way to survive it and have any time at all as your own. God bless you for wanting to do this. It’s by grace alone that I can do it. But I know I miss my mother when she’s gone, and I’ll know I couldn’t do anything better than I’m doing making her life as lovely as possible.
@esaesa07 you are right, but it is also a white western thing for parents to kick their children out of the house if they are not "mini-me's" of themselves.
Yes this is not part of us, I am proud to say I was with both parents when they passed my Dad passed first then a year later my Mum she was my hearttrob and my Son was with her all through that journey he had the best of love and care for her that her passing devastated him for years he's healing now but the memories a such a joy of recollection for him. RIP Mamaa💗
We live without our parents and are proud giving eachother the freedom to decide over our lifestyles ourselves. We support eachother in need, but are proud when it is not necessary.
I am American. I purposely came home from California to Pennsylvania to be with and take care of my mother at 79. She lived comfortably in my home. We experienced great medical care and wonderful loving doctors. At the end, we had in-home care from hospice. Her primary care doctor came to see her, sat on her bed and told her how much she loved her. Mom lived to 99.7...just short of 100! She died peacefully holding my hand. I would have it no other way...It was a Gift!
You were fortunate. My mom is currently caregiver for my dad, and they live with my brother. They've had a devil of a time getting decent doctors and appropriate care in a timely fashion. Not to mention all the crazy co-pays. My father really should be in a 24/7 care situation, as my mother is frail and beginning to lose some faculties, however, there's been nothing reasonable that they could find so far. We need healthcare reform badly in this country.
My mum used to say, "When I get old and decrepit, don't put me in a home, just push me over a cliff." She passed away in hospital, after keeping her illness a secret. She didn't want to be saved - she had had enough. She was 71.
I have filled out and signed a form, saying I do not want any extraordinary resuscitation and wish to be allowed to die, if my quality of life is impaired. I have given a copy to my daughter and to my doctor. I feel better for doing this, because I know I will not be dependant if my health goes.
I pulled my 89 year old mom out of the nursing home during COVID to live with me because she was crying and begging me to rescue her.There are an abundance of MEAN and LAZY nursing home nurses here in the midwest and I've met way too many of them.
sad to say, but often nursing homes are the last option for nurses who can't cut it in a more "professional" setting. there are lots of angry, barely-making-it staff in these places with some very disturbing personal histories...
In America, facilities are understaffed by poorly trained, low paid staff. I am a home health aid. It is hard work, low pay, little or no benefits. I won’t work in a facility. This looks like a great option. I wouldn’t mind going there.
Here’s a reason... “Lawyers were suing nursing homes because they knew the companies were worth billions of dollars, so we made the companies smaller and poorer, and lawsuits have diminished.” medicareadvocacy.org/who-owns-nursing-facilities-and-why/
@@georgiamanu6353 The facility only cares about saving money while leaving staff with not enough workers, and I believe that's what create an uncaring environment.
@@eara8426 nursing homes are also over-regulated. you can't try anything new that you might breach some CQC regulation. if you try some sort of craft activity and someone hurt their selves you are in trouble. also in the UK not even kids have a healthy outdoor life/activity, how could elderly with dementia or Alzheimer and all other multi chronic diseases?
@@wiamhaddani maybe this is what needs to change..maybe there needs to be more real talk not just between policy makers but also the actual family..why don't the West reach out to others who are doing better and take some learning points ...it helps everyone..the management, the patients and the families.. Also only people are serious about caring for dementia patients should be taken in..they should be paid more, the the work load is more difficult ..these palaces are making enough, the issues is how poorly it's managed and how much it's ending up in curroption. My best friend and her husband have a very caring facility..they treat the elders with respect and care..when the old people glow, the families can see they in the right place..even families can't give that kind of care due to not having the right recourses...better to have a better care system than to throw parents in any care system of it comes to that..but children should make more effort to visit..there needs to be some balance of this root is taken.
I am crying this is so beautiful. As a retired nurse I have seen the horrors of the American long term care centers. We kept both parents at home till they passed. There is something terribly wrong with how we treat the helpless elderly. Thank God there are places like these.
Vert true , there is something very wrong here in America and other countries the way they treat the elderly and sometime ways to Children's the babysitters some of the people who take yours the elderly or the children are awful abusers😢
American care homes are barbaric. They starve the patients so they are not heavy to move. When they are a bit of trouble, a morphine injection sends them to the undertaker for cremation.
It is not “we”. It is the facilities that hire these animals with no skills. If they spent more money on staff, they would get better results. It is all about profit.
One thing you can do is to give them a voice and let them decide....I am pretty sure they want to get the Hell out of their ailing , decrepit bodies. Try to see their side and NOT yours.....They really want OUT !!!!!! death is the freedom of the soul.....the body has become a burden. Why promote that ? You have been mislead to feel , you have to maintain a shell that no longer can handle the soul, trapped in it ????? Think how you would feel if it were you !!!!
My dad got Alzheimer's in 2007. I quit my job to care for him because I couldn't bare to put him in a home. It was the most difficult 4 years of my life but I loved him more than any human and I would do it again. Care homes here are horrible. I wouldn't mind Thailand!
100% agree. I had 7 yrs of full-time in my care; and I'd have jumped at a place like this in Thailand. The care homes in the west are horrendous, my father was in three but none could cope with him, nor were they happy places. I'd suggest anyone who judges harshly on the decision to go to care homes like that above, hasn't been through this experience. It's difficult no matter what one does.
May god bless you, its difficult at first, when you realize test from, its direct lesson from god, difficulty came from god as lesson, change easy by god, when you awake and do right responsibility to god creature that god made just for you, God made the man and woman just for your soul be place, its just creature you should take care until your soul be calling back to the one, to summarize experience, soul came alone and back alone, you doing right to care of your father no matter how, the true love is behind all this.. once back to love one dont be sad, and you following to love one the creator all of us. Just sparately when came to world temporary, we born in different culture to let knowing each other not be less knowing cause by border, war, raciest, before we be knowing, be called, we invisible as one and soon will back to one leaving all..
I lived in Chang Mai and I would be very happy to be put in a care home there. Thai people are kind, respectful of their elders, and patient. They couldn't be in a better place.
Elizabeth Scott I absolutely agree. So sad when you hear about abuse, which I know is common place in the west. Asian countries treat their elderly so much better than westerners.
She was very old and died in a good old age. I’m so sorry for the lost of your mother hopefully she can enjoy staying in the paradise peacefully forever.
My 90 year old grandmother lived with us when I was aged 6-14. she was an alcoholic and verbally/physically abusive. I never forget the day my father needed to physically restrain her from attacking my mother. She had a huge bruise around her wrist where my father had grabbed her arm. She wasn’t a frail granny. She was strong and aggressive. We were terrified of her as kids. It took us years to get her into a care home as she refused and lied and would play sane for the assessment team. Eventually she played up in front of one of the assessors and they saw what she could be like, which validated everything we had said. Some old people are just mean and aggressive and cannot be cared for by their own children. It’s life
I am a retired Nurse and I refuse to care for my Mother-in-law of over 40 yrs. My husband agrees! It's hard to honor those whom honor is not due. It would bring me great joy to wipe my parent's butts if they were alive today! I envy those who have loving parents to care for.
Perhaps with some dementia or whatever disease processes, the person becomes quite belligerent, stays angry and can become dangerous to themselves or those around them. That does not necessarily follow that they were mean and nasty before they became ill, or that they were not cared for in a loving, caring manner. Various Behaviorial filters simply vanish. When my gramma or her sister got an idea in their head, come hell or high water they were going to do it; if they had to take you down, so be it. They can be astonishingly strong. I agree American Care Homes pretty much suck. It is a sad, wretched situation for all; not everyone has funds, family members or facilities to cope. May The Good Lord Have Mercy On Us All ~~~
@@cindiloowhoo1166 For sure. Dementia is just so so sad. My gran would go for a wander around the neighbourhood and decide it was her day to be with God lol. She would find the nicest flower patch and have a sleep in it. Several times the cops had to drag her out and bring her home haha. Indeed. I am thankful for God's patience and mercy and grace.
@bluebe11a No excuse for not taking care of ur parents during their late age regardless what are their condition. They have done so much sacrifed to bring u up until where u are now. Don't forget retribution will come later. One day ur kids will do the same as what u did.
@bluebe11a everything seems hard when ur not sincere. Me personaly think Is better to send parent to carehome , instead of keeping then abusing them in some cases. But as an asian i still choose to take care of them. Dementia or not, theyr still ur parent.
@@potatoO0o they may have Dementia, but they are not an "elderly demented person". Having that sort of mindset is part of the problem. Yes, there are some people in awful financial circumstances who truly cannot afford to live on one income and have one to stay at home with the parent/grandparent with Dementia, but it also can't be denied that there has seeped in a mentality in many western countries where elderly people simply are not honoured anymore. Families are being brainwashed by nursing home providers and governments to see the elderly as just some "helpless infants" instead of treating them with much respect, dignity, and honour.
@@lejlaj876 you're talking out of your ass. People with dementia need 24/7 care. Who's supposed to take care of them when their family is at work? Who? People in western counties work, hence their higher standards of living. When I was a student I helped a family with a demented elderly. She almost set her house on fire when she was left alone in earlier stages while her family was at work. She went out and didn't know how to return. Then I volunteered to help her while her family was away. A few months later she went to a retirement home and they were all happier. She had company 24/7 and her family wasn't worried sick while they weren't home. People need to take care of themselves as well, taking care of people with dementia is both physically and psychologically demanding, especially in western countries where everyone also has a job.
@@potatoO0o not sure what you are being so aggressive about. Is it common in your country to use foul speech like tell people they are "talking out of their ...."? My guess is that you come from America because only American talk in such awful manner to strangers. Do you know how to talk civilly? In my comment I actually agreed with you that in some cases people cannot afford to look after the elder full-time so I am not sure why you have glossed over this? And the fact that "everyone" in the household in western countries are forced to work full-time jobs in order to make ends meet...do you not see this as a problem that the society has been set up in such a way that everyone is now corporate slaves? And yes, people must be in a psychologically good place to look after loved ones with Dementia, with support if necessary. I never thought/said otherwise. However, in western countries there is now also too much reliance purely on psychologists instead of communities helping one another.
Nothing wrong with going to Thailand for proper care, but I think their spouses should live there as well. Seems crazy to drop off a loved one 10,000 miles away.
They have three children who still need one parent. I am a care worker and I get what your saying. But people with dementia forget those they love. And as it was said on here, sometimes they can even cause more distress to them as they know they should remember them but they can’t. I have many residents who’s family live minutes away and still don’t visit. I think this is a brave but amazing decision to make for your loved one. I work night shifts and 4 of us care for 38 people. Here 4 people care for 1 person round the clock. That’s a no brainier.
hopefully you noticed that that is EXACTLY what the one couple did... they were both journalists... now he's at the resort and she's writing a book... and they brought their dog... so they are together... until the end... bittersweet story.
Our parents took care of us while we were little. As children we must take care of our parents when they are old. They need love in their twilight years.
@@Flourish_today Asian children need to be taught to respect animals, strangers, gays, people of other races, people of other religions. They only care about their own family members. That's why their rates of organ donation and blood donation and veganism are so low compared to western children. They don't donate money to animal shelters or wildlife refuges or apply to veterinary schools when they are living in the west, even though they make more money and have higher rates of university education than the western natives do. They only care about their own kinship group. SerpentZA has made many videos about this. Go read Jayman's blog article "The Rise of Universalism". Go read up on cousin marriage and the Hajnal Line on HBD Chick's blog.
@@toxicwaste920 i understand your pain and no, my parents didnt abandon me but my dad made my life miserable.....but still its not an excuse to not care for them even if he or she abandoned me. Don't repay evil with evil bc you will breed more evil. Bc what you do to them you will get back even if you were good to your children bc you sowed a seed of neglect. Pls be kind to them bc it will give you nothing but peace in your old age.❤❤❤
That's ridiculous. It happen's in the East as well as the West. Look up and read about the elderly in China, who are left on their own, living in cage apartment's.
What is it with Filipinos! I just became a carer after years of being a Director of Advertising. I decided to go back to work after my son went to university. I thought a caregiving career was closest to my true self. So I got a job in a Carehome and have been trained by a mother-daughter Filipino team. My god! I’ve never witnessed such efficiency, intelligence mixed with such love-respect and empathy! These women work their a-ses off! But no matter what, they’re loving and truly care. I adore them and feel so privileged. I’m shocked at how underrated this career is.....I’ve never worked so hard and I ran 13 magazines! I’m so privileged to be working with these Filipinos.
I’m actually in tears watching this. To see people with dementia have such a quality of life and excellent care. We have to send our loved ones 10,000 miles away to achieve this!
If they live with you, there are sooo many wonderful home care nurses who can help to give breaks to caregivers or while you’re at work. There is also what’s called “companion care” in America. There are options...
@@birdgirl1516 Unless you have more than one with equal or more intensive care required. The point being you don’t know what else the caregivers had on their plate. I have 3; husband with chronic and life threatening disease, daughter-in-law with chronic and life threatening disease, autistic grandchild. Soon decisions will have to be made as I age and the ones requiring care age as well. Where would you have these loved ones go? If they are cared for, safe and happy, I would be more than happy to look at options as I get to the point of requiring care myself.
I hope I never have to put my mother in an old-age home. May God give me the strength and the circumstances to care for her till her last breath. Ameen.
I just moved in with my Mom. I consider it a privilege to be able to care for her. I also am a nurse; and these people look great, they have been very well cared for. The caregivers are using the perfect approach; they are so gentle and that is absolutely what dementia patients need.
Hello Lazy, Greetings from Preston is very sad to see old people being treated badly I agree with your comment thank God there is a place like this. How about you, how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe, where are you from home you don't mind me asking.
It's as simple as that - Confucianism vs. hyper-individualism. I am white-passing and grew up in US white culture and it sucks - no one cares about anyone.
It is good that they only work 6 hour shifts. That keeps them from getting burned out. And they get the best care. Some people here say that they don't want to put their parents in a care home. They're keeping them at home. But I would caution that you need help. One person can not do it all and not have a support system. It is a LOT emotionally and physically. So have a respite plan. This is nice. But I think the family needs to be around too. Not 10,000 miles away.
Thank you Aljazeera for putting this story together. I am a 69-years-old American man, who spent over 10 years of my adult life in Thailand. For the last seven years, as an only child, I have been the caregiver for my elderly parents. My Mother (95) recently passed away on July 23, 2020. Now, I am caring for my Father (97), and preparing to take him to Mexico while he's still mobile, to help him get out of this house full of memories. Soon I will be dealing with the end of his life, as his frailty increases daily. Wherever we go, I am prepared for any eventuality. In THAILAND, I witnessed the highest standard of culturally-based care for the elderly that I have seen anywhere. In the United States, although we are making some scattered progress in end-of-life care, we are still very much, a death-denying culture on the whole. Death is too often viewed as some sort of failure, or "mistake". Due to the fact that Buddhism teaches all Thais, and from a very young age, that life is subject to "suffering" (which is experienced in our Birth, Old-Age, Sickness and Death). This worldview, and the Thai culture's respect for the elderly, have helped Thailand to become very much exemplary in their standard of care for the elderly and disabled. The level of patience and compassion they practice is truly incredible. Videos like this can go a long way toward helping other cultures to see what is possible in their own countries, for raising care of the elderly to a higher standard. Each of us, from the moment of our births, are like arrows that have been shot toward the ultimate "target", which is death. We should teach our young people from an early age about the fact that life is permeated with impermanence and change. That all lives, whether long or short, happy or unfulfilled, end in the experience we call "death". Taking care of our own loved-ones, as they get near the end can often be overwhelming. This is exacerbated by debilitating diseases like Alzheimer's and Dementia. We are making progress with these heartbreaking.maladies. But it's our responsibility to ourselves, our families, and our societies in general to improve our approach to helping the elderly to navigate death as painlessly as possible, as none of us here will be able to avoid this most profound of all life's poignant experiences.
Agree with what you write. However, the unmentioned factor in the video is money. How much do Thai and Mexican carers get paid? If you are paying in American dollars for care in Thailand as in the video, although it is undoubtedly not cheap (people featured appeared to have money and time to travel back and forth from US or Europe to visit their relatives), it would be immeasurably more expensive to buy the equivalent care in Europe or America. Most Americans and Europeans could not afford this level of care for themselves/ their relatives. Most people would not wish to end their days in a foreign country where staff may not speak their language or understand their culture. New ways of thinking about this problem are required.
Thank you for sharing your dedication to your mother and father, Brad. Your love for them is inspiring. This life doesn't end with death. It's a door to eternal life with our Creator and Savior who loves you and them. God bless you.
I am an American, I was with both my parents until the end. They gave my Dad kimo he feel in the hospital hit his head. I road 18 hours on a bus to get to him. I believe the hospital killed him. I spent 8 years taking care of my mother, the visiting nurses kept trying to get her to sign hospice paper work, she had to have dialysis, if in hospice they won't give you dialysis, she would have died in 5-7 days. She lived 8 years because my sister, my brother and I WOULD Not put her in a home.
I did not know this. My brother in law has kidney disease and is on a transplant list. If he ever mentions hospice, I'll tell him they won't let him have dialysis if he signs the paperwork for it.
When I briefly worked in a nursing home, one of the hardest things was the pain and confusion the patients suffered, wanting to go home, but not feeling at home anywhere.
I've seen that too and also noticed how many with adult children were hardly ever or even never visited by their family; if they did visit, they had no empathy and just came & went once in a blue moon. Then there was the abusive night staff who at best were disrespectful of elderly people and stole from them (clothes, etc); it was quite an education.
@Saluki N Thank you for telling us. I think you're making a good decision for your children and your own mental well-being knowing you won't be a burden to them.
No, it's that empathy has been distributed to strangers, so there is less empathy for in-group kin members. This is why there is less racism nowadays, more vegans nowadays, more organ donation and blood donation nowadays. The more people care about their own family members, the more ethnocentric in-group racial preference they have, the more homo sapien in-group species preference they have (and therefore less likely to become vegan, donate to a wildlife refuge, volunteer at an animal shelter, become a veterinarian), the more likely they are to ONLY donate an organ to a family member but not to a stranger, the more likely they are to be corrupt, because they don't care about hurting strangers via tax evasion or hiring nepotism or giving 5-star reviews to their friends and family members' businesses even if the business is low quality, which compromises the trustworthiness and effectiveness of review websites such as Google Reviews and Zagat restaurant ratings.
I'm so thankful that my father and my wife's mother lived with us and our children during their last months/years. They neither wanted, nor deserved to live isolated in a nursing 'home.' No son/daughter should do any less for the one that give them birth/life/education/love. I miss you, mom and dad.
My mum NEVER went to care home! ( DESPITE THE DOCTORS ADVICE) Yes, I live in the UK and put everything on hold to take care of her! She is mine! RIP mum! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
The lack of honour, respect and dignity given to so many of our valuable elders across the world is a complete disgrace of humanity. I had the honour of caring for my dad in his last days and i feel blessed to have spent this time with him and to have the opportunity to give to him love and care like he had given me throughout my life, our world needs to fully realize the value our elders bring to society.
I loved this it's very excellent care I love it.., my mother died of Alzheimers 2 years ago.i loved her so much and I am an RN I took care of her 24/7 on my days off..i worked 3 days a week at the hospital..she had a caregiver for my 12-hour shift. Then I came home put her to bed and got her up before work...i had cameras at home so I could watch her...i would give anything to hug her or feed her again...i still cry I miss her so much
My Mom passed about 3+ years ago and I can so relate, I miss my Mom allot. I Thank God that He gave me such a great Mom. So grateful to my Heavenly Father!💔
I took care of my parents needs for almost 10 years..first in their home and after dad passed mom in mine...i finally had to find a private nursing home for her. My doctors and her doctors told me that i was going to die before her if i didnt do something different. It was hard but i am glad i held out till the last llittle more than a year in her life. I couldnt ever forgive myself if i hadnt. Even then i am disappointed in my self that i wasnt stronger physically , mentally and financially to finish the job.
@@marjoriejohnson6535 Please don't be disappointed in yourself. I sometimes have the same thoughts and feelings. But please forgive yourself, I know for sure that your Mom and Dad appreciated everything you did for them, the care you gave them...🙏❤💓💕💔
I pray you are cared for as well God is stepping in and showing out,so if you have lost your income, God will punish these evil and greedy old demons! God will take care, and supply your every need. Karma never loses an address.
@Rusty It's so true. I'm a pharmacist. Many years ago, during my time in pharmacy school, I learnt about the side effects of some drugs, which I'm surprised are approved for use. Statin and daily oral contraceptives are one of them, and I resolved never to take them. The side effects are overwhelming but remain unknown to common people.
Maybe if people would be responsible for their aging parents, the same way those parents did when they were children, you can easily monitor things like drugs prescription. Drugs alter the brain, that is most likely why he has Alzheimer’s at such a young age. This disease is very rare in Africa.. I wonder why.
@@missqt48 I think because people there eat natural food that they prepare fresh every day, without preservatives and pesticides hormones and unnecessary antibiotics and flavor enhancers and so on
yeah...Sorry, but you guys seem to be taking the approach of 'kill off all the old people' right now. You must have a lot of empty seniors homes by now. I wonder if that will bring standards up or prices down?
No, it's that some of the empathy that we ONLY had for our own kin has been directed at non-kin, due to outbreeding. This is why Americans treat strangers, animals, gays, refugees, the disabled, people of other races, and people of other religions, with more respect than non-Northwestern European-descended people do. I think this is a good thing, and not something you should be lamenting, as you seem to be doing. Sure, Arabs may treat their own kin the best, because they practice cousin marriage more than anyone else, but at the expense of treating strangers, gays, animals, non-Muslims, non-Arabs, the disabled, and strangers worse than any other group does. From JayMan's article "How Inbred Are Europeans?'" on his "jman" column on the UNZ website of Ron Unz: "It’s hard to escape the observation that there might be a “sweet spot” when it comes to clannishness (and hence perhaps inbreeding). This is apparently centered somewhere around level “3”. At that level, you get most of the advantages of outbreeding, including liberal democracy, functional institutions, and a high-trust society, but retain a certain level of nationalism and ethnic cohesion that allows the society to resist opening itself to non-reciprocating outsiders, as the most outbred Northwestern Europeans apparently have. Some of these countries in the 3-4 range seem to lack much of the deleterious universalist sentiments found in those scoring 1-2. This may be the case in Finland & Japan, and might explain the interesting “in-between” characteristics these societies have."
@@moondog7694 I'm just a flawed human being that like many others unfortunately, talks without thinking things through. It's hard to do with all the misinformation that we are bombarded with on a daily basis, did not intend to offend anyone.
This is beautiful. I've spent many years caring for the elderly - many of them Alzheimer's patients. I've seen abuse in American nursing homes. And I've seen very pitiful situations where elderly live in unattended squalor at home. Eastern culture tends to treat the elderly with great respect. I love this.
Well, the times they are a changing (at least in Japan, Korea, China), "thanks" to urbanization, globalization, modernization, Westernization (But the East is also working on robots and AI to cope with this).
and how do you know they will not be neglected or abused in Thailand? Especially since it seems most of their families will not be living there to keep an eye out for them?
Mary Ellen. Being Indian myself, I can vouch that ostensibly it is true that we Asians traditionally tended to take care of elderly ourselves but this was about 30-40 years ago in the age when most Asian (esp Indian) families tended to be extended and big (minimum 7-8 family members with most of them adult). As families have gotten smaller and nuclear, this is no longer the case even in India. I can assure you the abuse and other horrors at nursing homes exist over here too and dedicated compassionate people are difficult to find here too. Ultimately, this is really going to be a long-term disaster in 15-20 years worldwide. While we have to take care of the unfortunate people who already have dementia, I think there is no doubt the real solution is to both find a medical solution if possible to the problem and also try to prevent it as best though dementia is a really tricky situation. Its not a relatively simple disease like even heart disease, kidney disease etc. We don't know the etiology of the disease really at all.
@@oliviastar3812 Not all of it. Given how the East treats and values menmore than women and the differnece in how they treat thoses with disabilties it is not exactly free from issues as well
As a long time professional care provider I see so many things that these places are doing right. The clients appear to be doing better they would be at home. Well done.
I have been working with health aids and in personal care homes for 20 years. My honest opinion is that Thailand is the best place for the elderly. I had the pleasure of knowing Thai families growing up, they care deeply for their elderly, it is about a culture of respect.
I’m so so glad that woman moved there too to be with her husband ❤️ No matter what how good it is, I couldn’t send any family member to the other side of the world on their own. I’d be worried sick and the guilt would eat me up.
@MrThemorningsun For your information in Africa we take care of our parents. Parents came first. We build our husband parents house first before our own. Now we build our house and we have already included a room for them. In Africa its a known fact you will take care your parent no matter what
@MrThemorningsun I just realized your knowledge of Africa is from western media propaganda. Those who told you cant do business i Africa are the one here investing. Please educate yourself
@MrThemorningsun stop saying bs you don’t know about. You probably have never been to Africa yourself so don’t make assumptions that aren’t based on facts
Being a full-time carer for a dementia sufferer is the hardest thing you'll ever do. We have taken care of my cousin at home for five years until she began to have extremely violent fits and would climb out of a window to roam the woods. After six weeks in a psychiatric-geriatric hospital, after the last episode where she destroyed her room, a locked behavioral memory care unit had an opening. They have the ability to use chemical restraints as needed for her safety and the safety of others. We had to face the fact that we couldn't keep her safe. It's sad because even her slightly lucid moments had disappeared entirely. The progression of dementia is unpredictable and no case is exactly the same. The western world is not ready for the explosion in numbers of an aging population with an increasing percentage of dementia.
@@KS-cl8br No, not at all. By looking at my mom cleaning and feeding grandma it came naturally to me that I should also take responsibility. Mom managed her job, house chores and grandma. Me and my siblings had only school so we looked after grandma when our parents were working.
And that's how it should be for all people! Take care and respect their elders! Til the end! I helped my grandmother almost daily in her last years tried to see her everyday , our time together was most valuable precious time !some of the best best memories was made with my grandmother before she passed away from a stroke! I sure miss her everyday!
Unless you have no one else to take care of you, in which case you'd have no option but to bow out of this world. Their governments only encourage people to procreate and indoctrinate young people into respecting the elderly at ANY cost to mask the failure of building a humane social care system, and of course, as always, for the tax revenue.
@Respectable Man Usually in those cases, they sent to a nearby care center. Usually the parents who are old enough to still talk live with their children. Some elders who have terminal illness like cancer would themselves choose to live and die within their children's homes than get treated.
If you're a parent yourself, one advantage of taking care of your own parents is that your own children get to have a deeper relationship with their grandparents. One of my best memories as a child is having grown up with my grandparents. That experience stays with you forever, and we want our children to experience the same
It's also a matter of scale. They're comparing a huge people warehouse to 10 people in a resort. My Dad used to go for respite care in a fabulous home, with maybe 30 patients. It was a really nice place but not home 😔.
@@lieutenantlascivious1992 very true. I did my training in one of the home care in bkk. Witnessed a lot. Even local elderly were being treated not well. There are a lot who are nice carer though. But I thought that Thais are more compassionate, patience and caring bec of their beliefs and in their cultures. But still, it is still depends on the attitude of an individual human being. Never let you deceived by the smiles alone.
I live in Thailand and can say that it's in their culture to take care of the elderly. My mother in law and her mother live in the house next to mine. I never heard of Thai living in a edelry home like it's common in the west. In fact a quick google search only show service targeting foreigner.
My mom is now in a nursing home very close to me. I'm the only one left and it got to the point I could no longer care for her without ending up in the hospital myself. I bring her home for day visits. I go spend time with her there. I've decorated her room to make it a bright, happy place. The key is checking in often. I'm very grateful they love my mom and take great care of her. It's not as simple as the statement OP posted. If I'm not ok, mom won't be ok and she needs me. There are thousands of reasons this statement isn't realistic or fair. Capitalism doesn't give is the ability to care for our older family.
Your last sentence! I believe part of the reason we don't have compassionate care for our elderly is the value our society places on profit. Literally everything that's done in our culture is done in relation to money: How much does it cost? How much would it cost? What can we make off of it? How can we save money? Who can do it for less? And so on..... As someone who's struggled to have enough to make ends meet, I find this type of existence to be soul sucking. Hopefully I'll be able to find something better, that we'll find a way to do better.
@@erinmcdonald7781 ANY system is only as good as its components of course. The problem, which does not seem fair somehow, is that a few "Bad Apples" can contaminate the whole barrel. It does SEEM as though humanity is doomed simply because we, as a group, never seem to LEARN from our mistakes. We might have better "toys" these days but our fundamental INABILITY to consistently chose .. AS A SOCIETY.. THAT which is GOOD and DECENT, HONORABLE, JUST, and Compassionate over petty self interests and greed has doomed us to perpetual failure and suffering. Basically, the human race appears incapable of moving forward in any meaningful, lasting way. I blame it partly on our Tribal mental which pits one group against another... creating "enemies" where NONE exist. As long as ANY human believes that they are fundamentally BETTER than any other human being... then as humans, we will never move to the next level of existence. From time to time a rare human soul may well make the LEAP from animal ego mind to Divine Mind... but they will not, can not lift humanity up with them. Those great eternal BEings such as Jesus, Krishna, The Buddha ( all simply different forms of THAT Same Divine ONE), have shown that most are incapable of following the simplest of instructions.... Love others as yourselves. That one simple teaching could set them free... and yet humanity is incapable of doing it. It is the ego's fault... that ego which convinces us that we are EITHER Better than another... OR, just as damaging. . LESSER than another. Because of this 'false' ego we BELIEVE that we are somehow DIFFERENT from one another... when at our core essence.. where it actually matters.. we are EXACTLY THE SAME.
@@faithrada Wow. A profound, yet simple answer. What you say is true. On the whole we can be quite a disappointing species. It is probably also true that this would fly right over the heads of a number of people with this attitude. What I hope is that we can push the numbers living the golden rule, or Beau of the Fifth Column's Rule 303, where if you see a need, do something (paraphrased), to outnumber the others, thus gradually improving the situation. To me, there are enough people with heart in our world to justify hope. I hold no illusions, though. Things aren't going to go easy, or smoothly. All we can do is what we're able accomplish. Whether that's enough, only time will tell.
@@erinmcdonald7781 I agree with your approach... to at least make an effort is a worthy endeavor. I suspect however that the only ones capable of rising above the fray... will be those who selflessly strive to better humanity. So.. it will happen... one soul at a time. Then again ... THAT which we are exists in the Eternal.. sooo patience wins the day. 😉
@@faithrada Truth! It will likely take more time than I have, but this is for the rising generations as well. Also, I agree there's more than just this existence. I'm guessing there will be some surprises, and hoping there will be new vistas.
Caring for a family member that has alzheimer's is brutally tough. My brother in laws mother has it at 53 and its so hard on her and her family. She is slowly losing her mind and she knows it...its really heart breaking.
@@tamikog7645 Its rare I guess and she looks younger than her age. The average for alzheimer's is 80, though a small percentage see early signs at the age of 65-75 so i'm told.
I was overwhelmed taking care of my Mom who had dementia. She didn't sleep at night and needed 24 hour care. She needed a full-time staff with cooks, bathers, cleaners, prescription maintenance . Many of the care givers in assisted living were Philippino. I am grateful for their care.
It was painful for us to send my grandpa to nursing home. But you will soon realize that one person can not care for an elderly 24/7....no matter how hard you try! We had a live-in helper but grandpa was up ALL hours of the night and still think he’s 18 years old and does what he wants! He would never ask for help nor ring bells for help...instead he would try to get out of bed or wheelchair by himself and fall everytime! I swore I would check myself into nursing homes when it’s my time....but Thailand sounds much more interesting
@@qwenethnguyen3252 your parents and grandparents able to take care of you when your a baby 24/7 and now that they can't take care of themselves, you won't able to do that? I don't like people who given up their families because they just though they can't take care of them. Its just like your wasting the last minute of their lives feel like they're being abandoned. I took care of my grandfather until he died, he can't walk and he started behaving like a child, I fed him, change his clothes and everything he needs for 2 years because I know he only had limited time, that's why wanted to be with him so that he won't feel alone, I'm only grade 4 at that time. I don't like standing there doing nothing, I want to help my uncle and aunty taking care of grandpa.
This is not paradise but...it’s much much better than the long term cares in the west, especially during the pandemic....shortages of staffs, rising costs, abusive system, neglected...
I work in long-term care, and it is disheartening.. It's so depressing to see once interactive residents, just hold out in their rooms & give up. It's gotten worse the last 3 month's.
This is so embarrassing. I’m currently studying Nursing and majority of us (classmates) were struggling academically. Embarrassing because we are so focus on academics as it is important, you do not want to make mistakes injecting etc. but we are not being taught how to practice patient care.
And they are racist to none British people in their country. They will not let other foreigners elderly parents come to the uk to be cared for by their family . Don't let the uk in your country.
Great decision!! They have nursing home too in the Philippines. My aunt moved to the Philippines (registered nurse) to hire a 24 hour nurse to care for my uncle who also suffered from dimentia and alzheimer. They sold everything in California and decided to permanently moved to the Philippines. Now, my uncle and aunt are both peaceful. Closer to their families too.
Hello Beth, Greetings from Preston is very sad to see old people being treated badly I agree with your comment thank God there is a place like this. How about you, how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe, where are you from home you don't mind me asking.
Thank you for your work!. It is the most delicate job, and i can understand it is stressful when you are not uphold by a proper community. I hope somebody will be there to care for you too, when you are old.
@Ivan Poohbear Yes totally agree. I’ve just retired after a lifetime in nursing as an RN. I’ve seen firsthand the extremely complex problems families face in trying to care for parents at home. If dementia is present with mobility it can be beyond all the physical and emotional resources of the strongest person, it being a 24 hr job as they often don’t sleep and eventually relieve themselves anywhere in the house, are constantly trying to get out and can have very resistive and even physical aggression towards family members. So yes, people who have ‘romantic’ ideas of how everyone should look after their own parents have no idea of the very varied and complex individual situations people face Of course do it as long as you can if you’re lucky enough to have a parent who fortunately doesn’t have the above problems but don’t destroy yourself and your family in the process when or if it changes and becomes unbearable. I’ve also worked as an RN for years in Nursing Home facilitates ....another area where the public have very little idea of the complexities of the broken system that exists in most Western countries. I’ve had 45 years experience in almost all fields of Nursing and Aged Care was by far the most challenging, frustrating and exhausting job I’ve ever had. There has been many dedicated, hard working staff up to now doing the very best they can under sometimes impossible conditions but unfortunately as more and more of the older experienced nurses and Carers are leaving the system the future is more bleak than ever.
@Ivan Poohbear The concept of taking care of people at home is fine until mobility or competence to do so becomes a problem. I faced this decision twice in my life and it was necessary to put my parents in care when it became impossible to lift them and get them to the toilet etc. These tasks were better done by qualified people who were strangers rather than by unqualified family members. The only healthcare worker in our family was disabled and too physically unable to take on any role in this care.
@@nurse580 Well put. My grandfather was a very strong man. When dementia took over, he became violent and threatening. My teenage cousin had to follow him if he slipped outside to make sure he knew how to get home. He’d brandish knives in anger. It was not safe for anyone to continue caring for him at home. And, worse, if you’re caught trying to restrain someone like him at him, someone would call the police saying it’s elder abuse. Better to let the professionals handle it. Too bad nursing homes cost more than college tuition if you want to send your loved one to a good one.
I'm a 66 year old American who has been living in Thailand for the last 9 months. I would highly recommend retiring here. Care facilities are world class and affordable.
This is a fact of life throughout the world as aging populations increase. In the name of progress, people want independence to live their own lives so it falls to others to provide formal care, it is demanding both physically and emotionally, caring for others no matter what age or disability and in most countries 'Caring' is an undervalued occupation. Is it the wish of the person experiencing dementia, to live in another country, away from their network of friends, family and familiarity and does this transition further impact on their deteriorating condition? or is it the families decision and why???. (In who's best interest)....! 'One lady said she wanted to return home'. !!!! Consider is she being Deprived of her liberty and is it lawful. What safeguards are in place to ensure people are well cared for. There are many issues in the care industry all over the world, but there are also formal carers all over the world, who are passionate about their work and go above and beyond to ensure their cared for persons have quality of life, dignity and respect, both in the community and in care homes. Just some points to consider before such a decision is made...
Happened to someone I know too. He went to visit his mother at Christmas and was greeted by "who are you?" No one had warned him and he was in shock from that.
Unfortunately that's the cruelty of the Alzheimer's, not a reflection of the care she receives. The caregivers make special photo books of their friends & family- complete with their names & who they are to remind them.
definitely would also cost a lot of money! these things don't come cheap anywhere if they really give the care to the elderly, as they show in this video
The Philippines should have one or more like this caring facilities. Filipinos are English speakers, have soft heart and respectful of elderlies, and will feel blessed to have this kind of job in the Philippines, without having to go abroad.
@@subotaiKhan There are enoug places where the infrastructure is already working quite well. And there are already such homes. I know of at least two in Cebu and Iloilo. Also the workforce is there, mostly overqualified, with an degree even, for a job as elder care, where in the western world almost no elder care worker has even studied.
I work in a good care home and I’m proud of the way we treat our ladies. We take them to the salon to get their hair done, they shop, some of them have small jobs, and we even do things like aromatherapy when they’re stressed. But care homes generally are terrible and I would much rather go to a place like this.
Unfortunately, whether in the UK or the USA, they seem to put violence or lack of care for the elderly and that is sad. If this place is a place to be it is good.
@@donnaharris8097 Respect is eroding? No, western countries are becoming more respectful than the non-Western countries are. The West has made better strides in respect for animals, respect for people of other races, respect for the disabled (I've heard that the disabled are treated poorly in the middle east, and I've heard that they like to hide away the disabled in northeastern Asia. I've heard Asian women abort disabled fetuses at much higher rates than white women do). Western countries have made the greatest strides in respect for gays and others of different sexualities. People in the west probably respect people of other religions more so than in other countries; they allow people of other religions to immigrate permanently to their own country. I've heard that the middle east does accept refugees, but they have to be the same religion as the majority of the people in the country they're immigrating to. Also, watch the film Borat to see how patient and polite and accepting the white Westerners were towards the perceived Muslim Borat when he was in the USA. Also, we respect the Earth in the west more, as evidenced by the higher rates of obeying fishing laws compared to Asians. It can be seen as respecting future generations of humans, since humans will need air to breathe and water to drink and food to eat in the future, and without a functioning ecosystem, that will be impossible. Respect for their own university is also more common in Westerners, as Asian Americans are more likely to cheat than white Americans: see the article "Asian Immigrants and What No One Mentions Aloud" on the EducationRealist blog on Wordpress: educationrealist.wordpress.com/2013/10/08/asian-immigrants-and-what-no-one-mentions-aloud/ :"The stereotype, delicately put: first and second generation Chinese, Korean, and Indian Americans often fail to embody the sterling academic credentials they include with their applications, and do not live up to the expectations these universities have for top tier students. Less delicately put: They cheat. And when they don’t cheat, they game tests in a way utterly incomprehensible to the Western mind, leading to test scores with absolutely zero link to underlying ability. Or both. Or maybe it’s all cheating, and we just don’t know it. Either way, the resumes are functional fraud." Also read the University of Minnesota article "Culture and Academic Integrity": "International students may come into the U.S. academic system with training and beliefs about using sources that can lead to dire consequences. In a number of cultures, students are expected to know and use the words of others - experts - rather than their own words, and this does not need to be acknowledged in their writing." wins.umn.edu/considering-culture/culture-and-academic-integrity. "This is to say nothing of the differences in academic cultures between different countries. The Faculty of Graduate Studies references this on their page regarding international applications as it states, ”Some cultures do not view plagiarism as a problem. Some may even view it as good scholarship. In fact, many international schools have no policy or definition of plagiarism. However, in Canada, plagiarism is a serious academic offence." - www.carillonregina.com/plagiarism-an-ongoing-issue/
@@Ammiel7 All? Love and respect their children??? Read Lloyd DeMause. "Mr. deMause states that the further back into history one goes and the further away from the West that one goes, the worse the incidences of child sexual abuse become. In many countries in the world, incest is routine among families. Fathers, brothers, uncles and grandfathers molest little girls. Mothers, aunts, sisters, and grandmothers molest little boys. India, China, Japan, the Near East and the Far East are just some of the countries that incest is prevalent in today. Little girls are treated worse than little boys because in many countries, little girls are considered worthless with no value of any kind." How about Amy Chua not allowing her daughter access to water for hours on end (or food, or sleep) before she played a piano piece perfectly? Or the Korean parents who remove their children's bed from their bedrooms to force them to study until 3am and then force them to wake up at 5am to go to cram school? Or the Korean parents who spent days at an internet cafe, leaving their baby to starve and dehydrate to death? Kim Yoo-chul, 41, and Choi Mi-sun, 25. What about the Sugamo child abandonment case, and the Osaka child abandonment case, and Rie Fujii who abandoned her two infant kids in her apartment for 10 days, which caused their deaths? Did Jennifer Pan love and respect her Tiger Parents? So much that she hired hitmen to try to kill both of them? Lookup "coin-operated-locker babies" on Wikipedia. They do that in Japan. 65% of Cambodian boys were physically abused, according to the Al Jazeera documentary "It's a Man's World". From The Journal of Psychohistory: " most Japanese parents still regularly have sexual in-tercourse while the child is in bed with them,(161) one wonders how scholars can continue to maintain that nothing sexual usually happens to the Japanese child in the family bed, particularly since none have yet ask-ed the children themselves about their sexual experiences. This stone wall on information about incest in Japan has been breach-ed somewhat by four recent studies. The first is a Japanese feminist sex survey modeled on those of Shere Hite that reported one-third of the respondents having memories of being sexually abused by relatives or close friends as children, a figure considerably higher than comparable American questionnaire studies.(162) Secondly, other studies show that the majority of urban parents in 1981 reported that they had lately begun to be bothered by the thought that children with whom they slept might be aware of their intercourse - a growing guilt about incestuous activities that was increasingly common in the West in early modern times and which led for the first time to separate beds for children"
This is one of the most honest viewpoints ive ever read. Taking care of elderly in a home is probably one of the hardest job ever. It literally taking care of adult babies. I salute everyone who is doing this job.
@@sunshine-qk8qe Same thing in France. I've seen an elderly guy with mild Alzheimers symptoms (still oriented, continent, and verbal) who was dropped in by his family for a 'respite' of 1 or 2 weeks, while they were going off skiing. He was immediately put on antipsychotics (neuroleptics) and within 36 hours he collapsed with ventricular fibrillation. If the nurse (1 nurse and 2 caring assistants for 3 dozen patients, some of them wheelchair ridden or bedridden) hadn't rushed to get the defibrillator, while one of the caring assistant was calling 999, he wouldn't have survived. HIs son was back from his skiing holiday the same evening, absolutely livid, and not surprisingly, he never booked another 'respite'. Sadly, for some families, it's a relief when an elderly person dies like that : no more care fees.
When I was young, I worked in a care facility and saw many abuses. Nursing homes are understaffed, but the aides were expected to get all their work done, which was impossible, so they lie on their charting. We all had to. If we told the truth, we'd get in trouble for not getting our work done. Looking back, it is painful to know that we could not give these beautiful old human beings what they deserved. Because I am low income, I truly fear being put in a home. I could not imagine being taken to a better place. In America, people's choices are few. When and if I get unable to care for myself, I would love to have my last days in such a beautiful place as Thailand! Even if I was aware of my surroundings and could not understand a word. Love is more important than words.
When I was in Uk ,our elderly landlord came in and said the first time we met him ..that how much he loves Indian culture reason not as I was expecting it could be food ..or other things but he said it was because ,we take care of our elderly,I have left Uk 5 years back but I still in touch and he address us as his children ❤️
@Respectable Man My Mum looks after my Granny now and my whole Family helps in any way possible... We do not know other ways. Grandparents always have a place in Family home. Greetings from Eastern Europe and Merry Christmas! :)
@@TrissMerigold-xc1ub waaaaoooo great to hear that.thanku for Christmas wishes n may you have the best too.kindly I wound like to be a caregiver or homecare how can you help me please thanku in advance.
I've been trying to tell friends about this. I did a paper in college about nursing homes in America. It is an absolute nightmare. Staff not replacing the sheets and elders left there rotting in urine. Staff throwing elders to their bed. Just brutal. It is really inhumane. In Asia, people treat elders like human beings. They talk to the elders and listen. And this is the most important part. It is the human to human exchange. They treat elders like their distant grandmother's. Very personal and caring. America is an absolute nightmare. Even a high cost facility in America don't give you this kind of care like in Thailand.
The teenagers here in the USA look at 55 and 65 year olds and just dismiss them by saying , OK BOOMER. Imagine how must worse they treat them when they get 75 or 85!!!
I worked at a nursing home for one day and quit the same day after I found out how horrific the employees are to not only the seniors, but also their coworkers. It’s really sad how people abuse these elders so I’m glad people are looking at other countries as an alternative
And you left? So what kind a person are you then? Listen women, you are responsible for bringing the decline to human society by refusing to give birth! This will be your ending as well!
I worked in nursing home for a year when I was a teenager I enjoyed it. People in America have no respect for patients & health care has gone down hill in America since covid ruined it & fake news hides all of our governments ugly garbage.
When you are away from home, it is called vacation. And Thailand has a wonderful nature, culture, people and food. It is one of the best place to be at when you are young and old.
I took in and nursed both of my Grandmothers, and it was so difficult, but so worth it. It was a great honor. It’s a horror movie sometimes (lol), but it’s our absolute duty to care for our loved ones. Even if they must be in a nursing home, make sure you are there to check on them every day because no one is going to take your place as guardian. God bless those Thai nurses! They are true angels to stand in as surrogate daughters.
What do you mean that it's a horror move sometimes? I may have to take in my mom after she completes rehab in the nursing home and honestly it makes me a bit anxious. I will have to handle everything alone without any sibling or other family support and I'm kinda concerned about us getting along and caretaker stress.
@@jadexplores2100 I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! My grandmother was a massive narcissist and was emotionally abusive to my Mom and I. I loved her very much and forgave her always, but it didn’t make it easy. Even in the best of relationships it can be difficult, but I can promise you that it’s the most rewarding thing you will probably ever do. You will also have peace of mind that she’s getting the love and care she deserves. If at all possible, try to have a nurse/caregiver step in every so often so you can have a break, and think about seeing a therapist so you have a sounding board. Try not to worry, you’ll do great. And please be forgiving of yourself, no one is perfect and you WILL make mistakes. God bless 🙏💚
@@MayimHastings Thank you for replying so quickly. I must admit; I do not understand how you were able to forgive constantly when someone you are helping is consistently hurting you and your mother. I guess God has a lot of work to make me as forgiving and patient as someone like you; I just don't know how to do all of this. I already have had a therapist for quite some time and although they are great I still struggle immensely. I can only pray to be able to demonstrate the type of love you seem to have given so easily in such a challenging situation. Again, I admire you.
@@jadexplores2100 The trick is to think about the person you are caring for and not think about yourself. Yesterday has gone and tomorrow is not promised to us and so we only have today, so start each new day afresh and forgive and forget any unpleasantness. You know your mum probably did everything for you as a child. She probably kept her patience with you when you kept her up all night, or when you cried non stop or when you threw up all over her or when you were ill. It’s your turn now to have patience.
What I found the best, was that the carers can stay in Thailand and be near their families. The UK woman was in denial. I lived in the UK and the vast majority of carers in the system are foreigners. So much for language being vital. Love is through gestures, just like with children. Carers who bond with their patients know what they need. I worked in care in France, in a dementia hospital.
I agree about language; I lived in Thailand and while I did learn a bit of the language, more important was the way I felt accepted and loved by those around me, as a teacher, a friend and a neighbor. Language is wonderful and ideal if one speaks what others do, but it's not an absolute necessity. Thais are wonderfully warm and have an atittute towards everyone of acceptance and warmth. Great people and so happy for those who have been fortunate to find this type of care. Some day I will probably need it and now I know where I will ask my children to send me.
That's because it's fulmed for TV and these places are EXPENSIVE. but you can't even drink the tap water there, or shower in it. Or cook with it. It's actually very very expensive to go to a home there. It's not for regular working class people. It's to make money off wealthy foreigners. Otherwise why would they open a care home? The up keep is so costly cause the govt pays for no infrastructure there. You pay for everything out of your pocket. No transport systems there, either . Highest traffic accident rate on earth, too...
And I lived there so I know! No health care system either. And the mozzues are so dangerous. Carry so many diseases. It's tropical climate. It's very hot and humid. I prefer Australia. Cheaper to live here, too . I can drink tap water for a start, and don't have to brush my teeth and cook with bottled water!! It adds up as you can imagine, in Thailand! And you have to TIP everyone.. omg.. it's so stressful .. Thailand isn't like this expensive resort for old people. Most of it is trashy. This old care home is first class, would easily cost over 100,000 pound a year! I know cause I've lived over there.
@kaboom Of course you can shower in Thailand. Water filters are cheap for drinking water - we even filter water in Canada for goodness sake. Carehomes in Canada take 70% of the persons income. Cost of real estate and labor is so much cheaper they can provide vastly better services for a lower cost. Lower labor cost impacts everything from food to cleaning to washing to the nursing staff. I already know I can live in SE Asia at the same standard of living or better for 1/3 the cost. If your income is from the west and independent of where you live (like a pension) why not lower your cost of living? Someone that needs care like these people can’t increase their income, but they can decrease their expenses.
@@doxasophosmoros thailand is way cheaper than australia. normal hotel room in oz is $100/day .in thailand $20. caregivers are esp cheap. in oz it will be $150 - $200/day. what about childcare and babysitting rates ? oz is very nice but has high charges in certain things esp house prices. its mad !! dont know about thai prices but in india, a 3 bed house in a seaside town can be bought A$50 K
The West has lost is family structure while the East still has kept it intact to a good extent. It is a pleasure to have the elderly at home, while they interact with the younger ones who need attention/time and the elderly have enough time :)
It's called social engineering. Over 100yrs ago the plan was set up to destroy western society, destroy the family unit, making it essential that both parents work, leaving your children to be brought up by the state Indoctrination. Family units destroyed, ease of divorce, the trans/gay revolution, abortion & birth control. It's disgusting what the Establishment have done to the West.
Hello, there! Greetings from Preston! How are you doing? I hope you are fine and staying safe. Where are you from? I hope you don't mind me asking. It's not easy looking after the elderly, but we have to accept that it is worth it.
Time magazine wrote a great article about the ticking time bomb for elderly care in the western world. In East Asia there are very few care homes, the family unit is key. When I was young my grandmother looked after me (so you don't pay expensive child care.) My parents would then be able to work full time. When my grandmother was old then we would then look after her. This is a very traditional thing to do and seems to be a win-win!
People are more interested in getting divorced, re-married, starting a second set of kids, starting a 2nd or 3rd career, moving back and forth across the country at least once or twice, than family unity nowadays.
It is supposed to be like that. We should all be responsible for our family members. Yes, it is tough and there are sacrifices that are made but in the end you walk away with a clear conscience and family feeling they are loved. People have become selfish with there time and think of only themselves. I have cared for my spouse who is a disabled veteran for more than ten years and would have it no other way. Yes, there have been hard times and probably more but those too will pass
My mom went into a nursing home a bit over a week ago. It's a very bad place. She's post stroke and I was told she needed 24 hour care if she was to come home with me instead; at over $10k monthly I feel like there weren't any other options. At least at the nursing home she will get consistent rehab and I hope she gets well quickly. However everything else about it is horrible. Unclean conditions, missing full/entire days of giving her her blood pressure meds; it's been stressful and I can't imagine how all of this makes her feel. God bless everyone here that commented that they were honored and enjoyed their time being a caregiver. I must be in the minority in that although I want the best for my mom I am a bit horrified of the potential stress, commitment, possible safety issues that could happen, getting along, etc., after she does need to come to a home environment after she's done with rehab in the nursing home. I am her only and sole source of any type of support and I'm quite fearful. I know God doesn't give us a spirit of fear but it's hard thinking about all of the potential upcoming life changes. Again; I admire all that have happily been caretakers for family, friends and other loved ones...you are a source of motivation for me.
@@icequeenspits Can you send me $4000 a month indefinitely for part time home care? Please tell me that is what you are going to do since you are apparently more concerned about my mothers welfare than I am. That would help a bit as I’d still have to find several thousand more dollars for full time care but I could probably make do with $4k. Because you just have missed the point where I mentioned how much all of this costs to bring her home. There is NO other support and I would have to bathe her, dress her, toilet her, take her to appointments, do exercises with her, prepare meals, clean up the incontinence accidents that happen almost daily, all while working a 50 hour work week. And can you come to watch her for me when I have to travel for work? Or at least find and pay for the care that’s needed anytime I have to do so? Do you even know how the system works for poor people who live in the US who end up having a stroke or some other unfortunate accident that leaves them needing 24 hour care? Unless you have the family support to take turns caring for that person in the home (doing all of the things I just mentioned) and/or the money for someone else to do it, you are screwed. I cannot bring her home right now and still work. I will lose my job caring for her. I literally moved states they day after I found out she had a stroke in order to be closer to her. I am talking to attorneys, have hired a social worker and I’m constantly at the nursing home being her only advocate. I literally had no choice of the home she got sent to after discharge-it was the only nursing home with a bed available that would take her because she has no insurance, no Medicaid, no house or assets or income or job or money whatsoever. That’s what landed us here and that is why I’m complaining about the nursing home..because I DO care and I want to get her out of there! As bad as the situation is I’m working every day to try to find a better home for her. Of course I wish she could come home with me but I am not trained to provide her with the level of supervision and care she needs and I love her too much to take a decision of bringing her home and ‘not’ being able to care for her like she needs lightly. This is a very serious and complex situation that you just jumped to conclusions about with literally 0 details. Try harder next time not to judge situations when you’re not the one that’s actually in them. SMH
@@icequeenspits Also go back and read my post. Where did I say I was her only child? I said I was her only source of support. She has another child. My sibling will not contact her..not even one time since the stroke. That sibling knows how hard it is dealing with someone like my mom who is very depressed, irritable, argumentative and likes to complain and even yell. She can’t help it and it’s not fun at all dealing with someone who has these issues but I am here trying to find a better home for her because despite all of this as I wouldn’t abandon her in the way my sibling has. And don’t get me wrong; I’m not even that mad at my sibling because this is not an easy thing to do at all and dealing with the personality issues makes it SO so much harder so I don’t even blame them really for disappearing in the middle of all of this.
@B Bush well...I am coming from MY perspective as a nurse. If you live to be 100, you have 29 yrs to go if you are 71 😊 Many of my patients live to their late 90s. But, I get ya. Life is about perspective, eh?
Yet the Indian immigrants in the west, who make more money than the native population and have more education, don't become vegan even when they were raised lacto-vegetarian and therefore never developed a taste for beef, pork, chicken, fish, or eggs. You don't become vegan because you only care about your own families. It's also why Indian immigrants donate blood or organs 8 times less than the native population. You'll only donate an organ to a family member. You only hire your own race. You don't care about strangers, only yourselves.
@B Bush Greenfield, Ohio ❤ I talked to a man from Vancouver last week (we purchased a 'Puller Bear' from him and started comparing Covid-19 experiences. I couldn't help myself (😊) to encourage them to take vitamins asap. So, let me say this: I am blown away that my patients who were already on Vitamins D, C, and Zinc cruises through Covid with barely a symptom. Even if they had pre-existing conditions (diabetes) and were smokers. Sadly, those who had not been on vitamins prior to Covid-19 became very ill... or passed. Never have I witnessed anything like Covid.
Go into debt paying for crappy care in the west or get affordable high quality care in the east, that’s a no brainer. My 91-year-old Aunt has had Alzheimer’s for more than 15 years and the vast majority of that time she has not known who her husband or children are . She has been in a very nice and expensive care facility that specializes in Alzheimer’s patients. These facilities charge several thousand dollars more a month over what they collect from Social Security and Medicare and as nice and expensive as it is it’s still a hospital type setting and she must be checked up on constantly to make sure she’s getting the care and attention she needs. She has now outlived my uncle and her care has eaten through their very substantial retirement fund and her children are in now in their 60s and are using their retirement savings to pay for her long-term care.
@sneksnekitsasnek Because eventually the demands of their care become too much. My grandmother recently went into a home because my father and I were ill equipped to look after her. She needs care 24/7 as, like most Alzheimer’s and dementia patients, she no longer has a sleep pattern; she will be awake most of the night, wandering around throwing things, shouting, banging on doors and windows. She’s doubly incontinent and blind. It’s not realistic to expect family members to care for loved ones in such situations. The family needs to sleep, work, live. This is why people pay for a team of people trained to care for the ill loved ones.
I don’t understand why relatives with loved ones with Alzheimer’s want them to “survive”? As soon as my dad lost it I wanted him to die. Solely for him, I wanted his suffering to end. He had no life of any kind whatsoever.
Hello, there! Greetings from Preston! Yes, they need someone they can trust, and that someone is the one who shows kindness to them. How are you doing? I hope you are fine and staying safe. Where are you from? I hope you don't mind me asking. It's not easy looking after the elderly, but we have to accept that it is worth it. Do you live around elderly people in your county?
I’ve been in the assisted living business in the U.S.; it’s heart-breaking. It’s very cold and institutionalized, and you have to watch, train and hire staff very carefully, weed out a lot of bad caregivers. But worse of all is memory care... It was a tragic purgatory of lost souls, and you were witness to the dissipation of their minds and to the dissolution of their bodies.
Your first sentence says all that you you need to know, these are businesses, set up for the purpose of making as much profit as possible and in my experience, often the residents are regarded as an inconvenience. While there are some very caring staff members these are generally badly paid and in many cases not in their ideal job and I’m sure that many, given the opportunity, would rather be working elsewhere.
@@annafreed9932 While I share your sentiment and know that there are many out there who are selfish, uncaring, entitled and only too willing to ‘dump their once loved ones‘ there are also many who really have little choice other than to put their family members into some kind of a care home and often this will only be after much agonising. Following the death of my mother, I became the sole carer for my father, who suffered with Lewy Body dementia, until his death some seven years later, I mourned his gradual passing every day of those seven years and sobbed many nights at the feeling of helplessness in preventing his inexorable slide into his eventual vegetative state. While I was willing and able to care for my father, I was only able to do so because I had retired from work at a relatively young age, was financially secure and having never married, did not have a wife and family demanding of my time, (my two brothers were not in similar positions) and so was able to ‘mothball’ my home in London and return to my family home for however long I was needed; unfortunately many (most) people do not have the luxury of the choice to care for a loved one that I did and are instead forced to resort to institutional care and for many this will probably be one of the the most difficult and painful decisions they will ever be called upon to make, particularly given the lamentable state of the profit-driven care system which exists in the UK today. So I guess I am saying that the decision to institutionalise a loved one is not always made lightly and so perhaps we shouldn’t be too swift to judge, we cannot always know what has informed these decisions.
Teach the children and grandchildren. My experience in the US, that the young generation doesn't think grandparents are part of the family. The youth is not interested in the history of their families with some exception.
@@ilonaandlivia Yes and I am American. We used to value our grandparents in the 50s. Mine gave me so much love and I returned it...I wish I could tell,them now as an adult,how I treasure them still.
Just because a care home looks like Paradise on the outside. It doesn’t mean the elderly are not being horribly abused. Do your research on ALL senior care homes.
Exactly people think Thai people are the another planet? Thai people selling kids for a couple of dollars, they eat wild animal because some places there no food. There are nature like another places it's.
@@kerlenaraujo6806 lol you are talking absurd and damn near nonsense. Thailand is not quite like Switzerland, but the country is not that poor and desperate. Their GDP is even higher than in some European countries.
@@LeonWagg so it doesn't mean people over there are aliens they are the planet that we .they do bad thing like another counties. By away I know Thailand and I'm living in Australia where a lot of Thai people who do not do good things .
@@kerlenaraujo6806 No, my point is that you portrayed Thailand as a barbaric nation where people eat wild animals because they are starving to death, which is something far from the truth. Yeah, Thailand is not perfect but don't spread your dumb racist stereotypes.
@@LeonWagg here we go everything is racist even when tell the true. I'm have much more experience with Thai people that you. You do think they are pure people in this planet? Its just Europeans lives out the reality. Come to Australia I can show there a lot of family had been destroyed by small young Thais girls with men 3 times older it's for money ,it's are very pure. Wow .
If you havnt lived it you dont know. Thailand is the best!! My wife is currently there after a serious stroke and the love and care she gets is out of this world. Im in NZ and we can communicate every day via line. God bless the people of thailand.!!
I just love the way people judge people from the sidelines .Beware of those that virtue signal from the naive comfort of ivory towers.Not my words by the way
When I was growing up in the 70s my mother was a nurse working for a nursing home. The stories she told of abuse to the elderly by angry aids mosly overnight was gruesome. She would tell of old people being slapped,hair pulled,and forced into cold shower. My mother couldnt take it anymore and talked to law enforcement. Long story short it ruined her career and she had to quit for death threats from the guilty aids and there were quite a few of them. Seems like 45 years later nothing has changed. People are evil especially when no ones looking.
You are so right, nothing has changed. I think of horror how my husband was mistreated. He was a Pastor for old people in other nursing homes, where he corrected much, then all of this happened to him. I took him home and nursed him here.
@@annafreed9932 You did the right thing ! Most of these places are SO inhumane ! I will leave the U. S. as soon as I can. Record numbers are doing just that.
So happy I stumbled on this video. Here in US had been quite a journey to have finally found a good nursing home for my Mother, who suffers from dementia. These are an inspiration for improving the nurse home environment everywhere.
Hello Cathy, Greetings from Preston is very sad to see old people being treated badly I agree with your comment thank God there is a place like this. How about you, how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe, where are you from home you don't mind me asking.
And I suppose you are proud of all the animal cruelty, corruption, lack of gay rights, lack of women's rights, lack of concern for strangers too? All of your empathy is directed at your own family members, which is why you have no empathy for non-kin/out-groups. Go read Jayman's blog. He is a black Jamaican and has written an article titled, "The Rise of Universalism".
@@moondog7694 Omg thank you! I've been thinking about the " non-kin/out-groups" dynamic a lot recently and how it has been the source of a lot of problems in this world. I never knew there was a word for the opposite of it. Universalism! I will take a look at the Jamaican's piece now. Thanks!
@Ech hunn dech gär. Sorry to hear this.. Anyway she is your mom.. If you ask me..l'll ask you to Be more patient and show only love towards her.. Soon she'll change... Give love and love comes back to you.. Why I'm telling this to u... Even to hate me like this.. I don't have a mom.. It's a precious gift of God.. Be kind with her..
One of the hardest things i have ever done, taking care of my mother as she has declined from Alzheimer's Dementia. Also hard, are all the people, who are rarely present, who have misconceptions of the process of the disease and the stress and pressure it has on the caretaker. They often feel they have the right to criticize and give unsolicited advice.
Laura you are so right! If they haven't walked in your shoes they DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. My son and I cared for my Dad who had Alzheimers. He's been gone over 12 years I'm still hearing from family members about what we should have done better 🤪. Unfortunately advice, doesn't help, with care or visits. All of you that are making these comments (but aren't in the same place) don't know what you would do. Really you don't. It is a VERY DIFFICULT place to be.
Hello Laura, Greetings from Preston is very sad to see old people being treated badly I agree with your comment thank God there is a place like this. How about you, how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe, where are you from home you don't mind me asking.
@@lf9038 Can you get any help with this,so that your mom had a break each week at least. Like in - home care for the state ? Your dad could be eligible, and it's way cheaper to have in - home care,than a nursing home.
I'm shocked we can not take care of our old parents who took care of us from childhood. I took care of my father until he passed away at age 96 and my mother passed away at age 66. I enjoyed serving them 24hoirs. I really miss them.
My mom lived with Alzheimer’s for 10 years. As someone said in the video it was very hard on her because she knew what was coming. Then it became hard for my dad and my siblings and of course for me. We kept her in her home for 8 of those years but then it became impossible and unsafe for her. My sister and I or my dad took shifts so she wasn’t alone and it was still so very hard. She couldn’t walk anymore but she couldn’t remember she couldn’t walk and had many falls. She was incontinent and had to be in a lift for any kind of transfer . She was terrified or angry. It was a relief when she died . I know how cruel that sounds but it was the best outcome.I wish our culture was more like the Asian one that respects their elderly
It's not about money, it's about time you have to invest, too. I have family member with dementia. They need survey 24/7. We have 2 nurses that watch her in 2 shifts. They are a bit cold and distant compared to this ppl in vid. We didn't want to take her out of her home, so at first we took some time off work to be with her. It was really hard because you can see how they suffer and you can't help. I wish we could take her to paradise like this in vid.
My grandfather's wife (not my grandma) used to go to the neighbors house and say my grandfather was holding her hostage (and the house they lived in was the house she had previously) and she would carry around a knife and threaten him, yeah so easy to care for in the home
Countries outside the west treat animals, gays, people of other races, and non-family members as throwaways. Go read up on HBD Chick's writings in Jayman's article "The Rise of Universalism". There is a lot of tolerance of animal cruelty and pet neglect outside the west. Winston of SerpentZA has made many videos about human strangers and animals being of no worth or consideration in the non-Western country he made a video about. It is true for all countries outside the Hajnal Line.
Glad even as a disabled with nobody believing that i make it, it was a great decision to come here by myself. I don’t need a caretaker yet, but many people offer to help me. Elderly and disabled are just normal humans here. Not always felt like that in Europe
An old friend of mine once said: "How come that one mother can take care of 7 children but 7 children can't take care of one mother?".
Because that is the culture they created, where the children don’t want to do it. Their own children won’t either. It will keep going.
In the western world, its difficult to do it. We have to WORK WORK to make ends meet. And in the US, 70% of people are working paycheck to paycheck, barely making ends meet and could barely take care of ourselves. So I understand people who do not have time to care for their loved ones, its a 24/hr care especially if our love ones have dementia or alzheimers. You need money to care for the elderly, its not free and it requires time to work and make $$. But despite this, I know several families of all races who care for the elderly in the USA. It's just not talked about.
It may sound like a thought invoking question but it's a stupid one. Kids go to kindergarten, then school and quite soon they're able to be alone for a few hours per day when their parents are at work. A person with alzheimers or dementia can't be left alone. Where else are they supposed to go when their kids have to go to work? Having private carer is expensive. Imagine having to pay a ful living wage to someone. Unless you're rich, you can't.
So true
@@f0repl4y when you become older you realise better and not now
I'm a physician and my sister is a nurse. My Mother died at the age of 88 and suffered from dementia the last 3 to 4 years of her life. My sister and I took turns caring for her in our own homes, but she begged to live in her own. So, our parish priest helped me find a wonderful immigrant couple in their 60's to move into my Mom's house until she died of a stroke. They treated her like family, and Mom was so happy. We paid them a monthly salary, and when Mom passed away, I gave them my portion of the proceeds of the house, so they were able to sell their home and live in my Mom's home debt free. They were the kindest people and a godsend!
Beautiful to read Delia .
There is no care homes where my parents are from youlook after your own i have work for different agencues and care homes .
We have beautiful glitz ab glam homes here now .
When my turn comes i want less glitz and glam ,but more cares . L
If you live in the states with high immigrant population, many will be glad to be lived-in care giver for an affordable price. Nothing beats living in your own home. The one thing dementia patients remember is home.
Te pasó un milagro de encontrar a esa pareja y que no te defrauden de ninguna manera. Gracias a a Dios 🙏
I know someone who made a similar arrangement. A couple with a young adult son moved in. The husband had a job, the wife kept house and cared for the father. The son called him Grandpa. They were all Mexican, so the father liked the lady’s cooking and he was happy and well cared-for. His adult daughter lived nearby, and stayed overnight once a week.
You did the right thing, I always wonder if people are not able to do the job themselves, why not hire some one like you did. I like the lady who moved to Thailand to be with her mother. To live in Switzerland leave your wife in a other country is cruel
Same here. I am Mexican we take care of our own. I took care of my mother round the clock for 5 years after she became ill, sadly she passed 2 years ago. I now take care of my 92 year old father and I will do so until the good lords takes him home...It was an honor and a blessing to do so with my mother and its so with my amazing father.
God bless you
We Filipino too take care of elders with care , love and lot of patience
The same in Russia. The most people take care of their old parents.
Maury Hidalgo I have no words to say to you ,you have made me cry, GOD bless you and to give you all the goods in this world because u deserve it !
You are so sweet thank you same to you as well thank you for being so kind..God bless u
I remember talking to a woman from Africa who immigrated to the US a few days prior. I asked her what things she found odd about America. She thought about for a bit then answered, “Two things: daycares and elderly homes- where I am from the elders look after the children. The children keep their bodies and minds strong while the elders teach the children. It’s a perfect system. I don’t know why this is not done here’. I’ve never forgotten her words. Our country is so broken.
I agree!
It is not a child’s responsibility to look after the elderly.
Elderly can not see to the children properly if I’ll and the child can not see to the elderly without proper training, knowledge and insight.
To be clear….no child is responsible for an adult person. The child did not choose to be brought in this world, they are only responsible for themselves and their own life, no one else’s life.
@transplanted1599 it is one’s choice and free will to do as they wish, ultimately each individual is responsible for themselves, period.
Just because a child was brought into this world, does not mean now they are responsible for the parent.
It is a choice one makes according to what is best for their life.
Adult Children need to stop feeling guilty if they can not mentally, emotionally, physically or financially look after a parent. If they can then they can, not everyone can do this. It is their right to choose and not be made feeling guilty because it is an obligation or duty.
Your duty is to yourself, first and foremost.
White America brought this on everyone now there paying for it they want to put their burdens on Thailand they have there own elderly to look after who Isibg o cefor m
@@rainorshine7816 According to the word of God it is the responsibility of the fmily to care for their elderly family members.what are you an atheist old hearted human eing
My mother looked after me in the beginning of my life.......i looked after her in the last years of her life.
Thats the only way it should ever be
@@neldonah2833 I agree.🙂
exactly... but the people who farmed out their kids to strangers to care for them when their little, can't expect anything different from their kids when they get old.
My mother is my life, I make sure she is in good health & great care. I cannot be with her physically at present for I need to work to support all her expenses but I make sure she is in great hands. I will be retiring early to be with her, she is 87 years old now & I miss her. I phone her everyday to great her a good morning/goodnight & in between during the day. I worry when I cannot reach her phone. I can say that Mom is lucky to have me & my siblings, my question in life is, who's going to take care of me & my husband when were old?
@@charitznjusakots5007 I understand how you feel. it seems to me that people commenting on this video are either rich or on benefits. cause if you have a job and bills to pay you cant take care of your mother 24/7. you still love your mother.
My mom isn't going anywhere. She's staying with me.
Same as mine. Disgraceful Westerners for doing this to their elderly. I am glad Thailand is providing them a home
@@tfernando5580 mine staying at home with me as well. Time for me to return their care. Oh and I am westerner.
As long as nothing happens to you . Don’t break any limbs. Don’t get cancer. Don’t get in any auto accidents. Don’t lose your vision .
It’s admirable & I was able to have my dad with me his last 7 months , only because my husband was willing to stay by his side at night.
We still had kids in elementary school and my dad got up all night long. He forgot he couldn’t walk and would fall if someone wasn’t right there. God bless my husband . The credit all goes to him.
Would u like to adopt me? 71 still perfect
Same as mine if parents can take. Care 10 kids how come 10 kids cant take care of their parents its sad parents live revolve around their children but when they grow their worlds only rovlve around them
The lady who moved to Thailand to be with her husband, showed true love, made me cry x
I guarantee you people said she was a gold digger earlier in life. Jokes on them.
I'm surprised tho why they don't live together in Thailand, adding a caregiver when she needs help or an evening out with her friends? Why is she living almost right next to him in a separate place yet only comes to "visit" him and lives a separate life? Shows she loves him, but it's odd, don't you think?
She stated that place gives her ability to be his wife…
You can’t be both. Chose wife or care giver.
I love Thailand.
My grandmother had dementia in her late 80s. When she was not able to take care of herself anymore, my mom and her sister took turns having her at their homes for a month- periods. It was exhausting. My grandmother went to sleep at 7 pm and took walks around the house at 3 am as she could not sleep anymore. Obviously, my mom could not sleep either as she was worried grandma could hurt herself or set the house on fire. Another thing was that she followed my mom everywhere demanding to go home and arguing for hours. So when you finally felt she understands why she cannot go home, in 30 minutes she forgot all about it and the arguments started all over again. My mother started having very high heart rate and had to start taking medication. Half a year later, she picked up a phone and arranged a good care home for my grandma in the same town with 24/7 professional care. My grandma was taken care of, she had a family member visiting every day. She still wanted to go home, but my mom did not go crazy and could finally get some sleep and her health in order. It is easy to criticise if you never went through it.
Taking care of a lovedone with Dementia or Alzheimer's is very different from taking care of a lovedone that can remember and understand.💓
Thank you for commenting this, sometimes it's possible to care for family at home if they have basic needs that fit in with the family's time, energy, and finances, but sometimes the elderly have drastic health needs that require 24/7 care, and their families have to work to make income, go to school, and even then what nurse can be on duty 24/7? Not to mention the average person doesn't have the training or the medical equipment to care for severe illnesses like dementia. Families that are able to have their elderly parents and grandparents in the home until they pass are in a position to be grateful they were able to do that, rather than to look down on others because their lives didn't work out that way.
On top of that, it's much easier to care for the elderly in a home or family system with many siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, children that all live close. Many families nowadays the elderly will have 1 or 2 kids, and no extended family to speak of living close, or maybe none at all. If there is only one adult child to care for those aging parents, and they have to work 60 hours a week, how are they to properly see to the social and medical needs of their parents? Sometimes it's more merciful to put them in a home with other people. The real travesty is the quality of retirement/nursing homes available, not that families fall into a position of needing more help to care for their family members. Honestly if we had a public health service that covered home health aides as a matter of course, elderly would have far better outcomes and families might have enough help to keep more elderly relatives at home.
I spent 10 years taking care of other people's elderly relatives. I loved my job. In the USA many adult children are in the midst of demanding careers and have adult children & grandchildren, also. They are extremely busy. Many still find time to visit almost daily. Even if they live with their elderly relative, it can still be isolating because few people have the time to spend hours a day entertaining the loved one. And unless you have ever spent time with someone with dementia, it's impossible to understand the exhausting demands. Dementia patients can be very difficult to steer away from dangerous situations and have to be watched VERY closely. Also, most families are not prepared to do the bathing & toileting often times that's required. These care homes in Thailand sound wonderful!
True.
Whitey again
In Africa, we stay with and take care of our elderly. Its fun to have them around. There is also more interaction between them, their children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
But in Africa they are not aware of it, I read some post about an old woman who was burned alive, because they caught her at the neighbours house and she was confused, didn’t know her name, they then said she was a witch😭😭 Her children posted about it as an awareness.
In the Indian subcontinent as well.
This is also how it used to be in the west throughout history except for the last few generations. Wealthier nations tend to pay people to take care of their elderly and I think that is sad.
@@charleyshaaz of course in every society, there will always be a story or two that is way off, it does not mean we don't take care of our elders. Overall, Old age homes is something that we don't think of in Africa, we live and interact with our elders until their last day on earth, the way they prefer it. We Africans generally prefer it that way.
Exactly, it makes them live longer when they have young people around them. They need that energy and vitality
I have muscular dystrophy and can no longer walk so I needed assistance with ambulating. I looked at American nursing homes. The good ones were extravagant charging a fortune. Some even required huge down payment to. The places I could afford were overcrowded and understaffed. I moved to a care home in Colombia. The staffing ratios are amazing. I basically have what amounts to a studio apartment. A hospital bed, oxygen, a stirring area, a fridge in a small kitchen, a beautiful large patio. I am so happy here.
Thats great to hear that from my home country
In which city?
I'm truly happy for you. You've found a solution for yourself and it sounds like it is working out very well. In my elder years I will also need to find my own solution, for care. Thank you for sharing. I didn't know such places existed. You've given me hope.
Wow congratulations ❤
I'm gonna want to have my mom and dad with me no matter their age, they've fed me, showered me, helped me walk when I was younger. The best I can do is the same when they get older.
God bless you ! I look after my mother and she’s 100 and I’m her sole caregiver, I have no siblings, She has dementia and it isn’t easy it’s a 24 seven job. You really have to find a way to survive it and have any time at all as your own. God bless you for wanting to do this. It’s by grace alone that I can do it. But I know I miss my mother when she’s gone, and I’ll know I couldn’t do anything better than I’m doing making her life as lovely as possible.
I made sure not to take care of my parents. They weren’t particular good parents and I don’t feel the need to be a particularly good daughter.
And God will bless you.
@@josephinewayan9719 God bless you Josephine🤗
@@taminy2051 I totally understand your choice.
I took care of my granddaddy when he had stage 4 cancer and when he passed I had peace because I know I did right by him! 🙏🏾
Im proud to be filipino we take care of our elders to their last breath.
I cant wait to ditch my parents. Best financial decision ever.
Thank you you're a blessing 🤗🤗
@Joe Smith Hey, it's just life. Lions eat gazelles 🤷♂️
@esaesa07 you are right, but it is also a white western thing for parents to kick their children out of the house if they are not "mini-me's" of themselves.
@@CE-vd2px im sorry you have such an awful life
I’m proud to be an AFRICAN. We live with our parents and grandparents no matter what.
sounds like hell
Yes this is not part of us, I am proud to say I was with both parents when they passed my Dad passed first then a year later my Mum she was my hearttrob and my Son was with her all through that journey he had the best of love and care for her that her passing devastated him for years he's healing now but the memories a such a joy of recollection for him. RIP Mamaa💗
We live without our parents and are proud giving eachother the freedom to decide over our lifestyles ourselves. We support eachother in need, but are proud when it is not necessary.
@@sontayatoemsook1266 yes! To you
Africans are easily proud
The journalist wife is absolutely what true love is all about. She MOVED to Thailand to be near her husband. This is soooooo wonderful.
I am American. I purposely came home from California to Pennsylvania to be with and take care of my mother at 79. She lived comfortably in my home. We experienced great medical care and wonderful loving doctors. At the end, we had in-home care from hospice. Her primary care doctor came to see her, sat on her bed and told her how much she loved her. Mom lived to 99.7...just short of 100! She died peacefully holding my hand. I would have it no other way...It was a Gift!
You were fortunate. My mom is currently caregiver for my dad, and they live with my brother. They've had a devil of a time getting decent doctors and appropriate care in a timely fashion. Not to mention all the crazy co-pays. My father really should be in a 24/7 care situation, as my mother is frail and beginning to lose some faculties, however, there's been nothing reasonable that they could find so far.
We need healthcare reform badly in this country.
Hello Elizabeth how are you doing hope you’re doing well, I’m sorry about your mom she’s gonna be okay leave your faith in God
You had an unusual experience
My mum used to say, "When I get old and decrepit, don't put me in a home, just push me over a cliff." She passed away in hospital, after keeping her illness a secret. She didn't want to be saved - she had had enough. She was 71.
She was NOT going into a "home" .. she did it her way... God love her !
I have the same way of thinking, I prefer to die instead of being in a nursing home depending on strangers.
I have filled out and signed a form, saying I do not want any extraordinary resuscitation and wish to be allowed to die, if my quality of life is impaired. I have given a copy to my daughter and to my doctor. I feel better for doing this, because I know I will not be dependant if my health goes.
Bless 🤗
@@barbaras6792 Please see Ray Comfort's videos on YT then.
I pulled my 89 year old mom out of the nursing home during COVID to live with me because she was crying and begging me to rescue her.There are an abundance of MEAN and LAZY nursing home nurses here in the midwest and I've met way too many of them.
Plus the smell in those facilities.....sooooo gross!
sad to say, but often nursing homes are the last option for nurses who can't cut it in a more "professional" setting. there are lots of angry, barely-making-it staff in these places with some very disturbing personal histories...
@@michellegordon4211 as a retired RN I agree, and dont just look at the caregivers, but management and owners set the standards.
In America, facilities are understaffed by poorly trained, low paid staff. I am a home health aid. It is hard work, low pay, little or no benefits.
I won’t work in a facility. This looks like a great option. I wouldn’t mind going there.
Here’s a reason...
“Lawyers were suing nursing homes because they knew the companies were worth billions of dollars, so we made the companies smaller and poorer, and lawsuits have diminished.”
medicareadvocacy.org/who-owns-nursing-facilities-and-why/
I used to work in a nursing home it was incredibly depressing. This place is literally paradise compare to the soul sucking place I was working at.
I'm a CNA, and I understand what you're saying. The nursing home does not care about hiring more workers in order to assist the vulnerable patients.
@@eara8426 it's not just hiring more workers but it's the fact that these environments do not breed any type of happiness.
@@georgiamanu6353 The facility only cares about saving money while leaving staff with not enough workers, and I believe that's what create an uncaring environment.
@@eara8426 nursing homes are also over-regulated. you can't try anything new that you might breach some CQC regulation. if you try some sort of craft activity and someone hurt their selves you are in trouble. also in the UK not even kids have a healthy outdoor life/activity, how could elderly with dementia or Alzheimer and all other multi chronic diseases?
@@wiamhaddani maybe this is what needs to change..maybe there needs to be more real talk not just between policy makers but also the actual family..why don't the West reach out to others who are doing better and take some learning points ...it helps everyone..the management, the patients and the families.. Also only people are serious about caring for dementia patients should be taken in..they should be paid more, the the work load is more difficult ..these palaces are making enough, the issues is how poorly it's managed and how much it's ending up in curroption. My best friend and her husband have a very caring facility..they treat the elders with respect and care..when the old people glow, the families can see they in the right place..even families can't give that kind of care due to not having the right recourses...better to have a better care system than to throw parents in any care system of it comes to that..but children should make more effort to visit..there needs to be some balance of this root is taken.
I am crying this is so beautiful. As a retired nurse I have seen the horrors of the American long term care centers. We kept both parents at home till they passed. There is something terribly wrong with how we treat the helpless elderly. Thank God there are places like these.
You have a heart! ❤
Vert true , there is something very wrong here in America and other countries the way they treat the elderly and sometime ways to Children's the babysitters some of the people who take yours the elderly or the children are awful abusers😢
American care homes are barbaric. They starve the patients so they are not heavy to move. When they are a bit of trouble, a morphine injection sends them to the undertaker for cremation.
It is not “we”. It is the facilities that hire these animals with no skills. If they spent more money on staff, they would get better results. It is all about profit.
One thing you can do is to give them a voice and let them decide....I am pretty sure they want to get the Hell out of their ailing , decrepit bodies. Try to see their side and NOT yours.....They really want OUT !!!!!! death is the freedom of the soul.....the body has become a burden. Why promote that ? You have been mislead to feel , you have to maintain a shell that no longer can handle the soul, trapped in it ????? Think how you would feel if it were you !!!!
My dad got Alzheimer's in 2007. I quit my job to care for him because I couldn't bare to put him in a home. It was the most difficult 4 years of my life but I loved him more than any human and I would do it again. Care homes here are horrible. I wouldn't mind Thailand!
It is difficult to watch out for someone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
100% agree. I had 7 yrs of full-time in my care; and I'd have jumped at a place like this in Thailand. The care homes in the west are horrendous, my father was in three but none could cope with him, nor were they happy places. I'd suggest anyone who judges harshly on the decision to go to care homes like that above, hasn't been through this experience. It's difficult no matter what one does.
@JAN III SOBIESKI That is unfortunate.
May god bless you, its difficult at first, when you realize test from, its direct lesson from god, difficulty came from god as lesson, change easy by god, when you awake and do right responsibility to god creature that god made just for you, God made the man and woman just for your soul be place, its just creature you should take care until your soul be calling back to the one, to summarize experience, soul came alone and back alone, you doing right to care of your father no matter how, the true love is behind all this.. once back to love one dont be sad, and you following to love one the creator all of us. Just sparately when came to world temporary, we born in different culture to let knowing each other not be less knowing cause by border, war, raciest, before we be knowing, be called, we invisible as one and soon will back to one leaving all..
Jeg passede os min mor til hun ikke var her mere. Det var hårdt til tider da jeg var helt alene om det men ville ikke ha undværet det....
I lived in Chang Mai and I would be very happy to be put in a care home there. Thai people are kind, respectful of their elders, and patient. They couldn't be in a better place.
Elizabeth Scott, I come from Malaysia and lived in the USA. I told my husband , we will lived in Chang Mai and have carers there, in our old age.
@@walkersmith2791 huh?
@@kaycee2396 u feel meh? Knomsayn
@@walkersmith2791 no. i don't. pls explain.
Elizabeth Scott I absolutely agree. So sad when you hear about abuse, which I know is common place in the west. Asian countries treat their elderly so much better than westerners.
My mother RIP stayed with me until the last moment. She was 97.
She was very old and died in a good old age. I’m so sorry for the lost of your mother hopefully she can enjoy staying in the paradise peacefully forever.
I am glad she lived to old age. I am sure youre doing well now knowing she has lived a long life.
I wish for you dear that you children will do the same for you. God bless you dear.
same with me. my mom passed away just 2 weeks ago and i miss her. weve been living together for 60 yrs
@@baniavedillo1818 I miss Her every day. Her memory stays so fresh in my mind, and my love for her is with me always. 😢
My 90 year old grandmother lived with us when I was aged 6-14. she was an alcoholic and verbally/physically abusive. I never forget the day my father needed to physically restrain her from attacking my mother. She had a huge bruise around her wrist where my father had grabbed her arm. She wasn’t a frail granny. She was strong and aggressive. We were terrified of her as kids. It took us years to get her into a care home as she refused and lied and would play sane for the assessment team. Eventually she played up in front of one of the assessors and they saw what she could be like, which validated everything we had said. Some old people are just mean and aggressive and cannot be cared for by their own children. It’s life
I am a retired Nurse and I refuse to care for my Mother-in-law of over 40 yrs. My husband agrees! It's hard to honor those whom honor is not due. It would bring me great joy to wipe my parent's butts if they were alive today! I envy those who have loving parents to care for.
Perhaps with some dementia or whatever disease processes, the person becomes quite belligerent, stays angry and can become dangerous to themselves or those around them. That does not necessarily follow that they were mean and nasty before they became ill, or that they were not cared for in a loving, caring manner. Various Behaviorial filters simply vanish. When my gramma or her sister got an idea in their head, come hell or high water they were going to do it; if they had to take you down, so be it. They can be astonishingly strong. I agree American Care Homes pretty much suck. It is a sad, wretched situation for all; not everyone has funds, family members or facilities to cope. May The Good Lord Have Mercy On Us All ~~~
@@cindiloowhoo1166 For sure. Dementia is just so so sad. My gran would go for a wander around the neighbourhood and decide it was her day to be with God lol. She would find the nicest flower patch and have a sleep in it. Several times the cops had to drag her out and bring her home haha. Indeed. I am thankful for God's patience and mercy and grace.
So sad Westerners can keep dogs cats etc but not their parents.
@bluebe11a No excuse for not taking care of ur parents during their late age regardless what are their condition. They have done so much sacrifed to bring u up until where u are now. Don't forget retribution will come later. One day ur kids will do the same as what u did.
@bluebe11a everything seems hard when ur not sincere. Me personaly think Is better to send parent to carehome , instead of keeping then abusing them in some cases. But as an asian i still choose to take care of them. Dementia or not, theyr still ur parent.
@@potatoO0o they may have Dementia, but they are not an "elderly demented person". Having that sort of mindset is part of the problem. Yes, there are some people in awful financial circumstances who truly cannot afford to live on one income and have one to stay at home with the parent/grandparent with Dementia, but it also can't be denied that there has seeped in a mentality in many western countries where elderly people simply are not honoured anymore. Families are being brainwashed by nursing home providers and governments to see the elderly as just some "helpless infants" instead of treating them with much respect, dignity, and honour.
@@lejlaj876 you're talking out of your ass. People with dementia need 24/7 care. Who's supposed to take care of them when their family is at work? Who? People in western counties work, hence their higher standards of living. When I was a student I helped a family with a demented elderly. She almost set her house on fire when she was left alone in earlier stages while her family was at work. She went out and didn't know how to return. Then I volunteered to help her while her family was away. A few months later she went to a retirement home and they were all happier. She had company 24/7 and her family wasn't worried sick while they weren't home. People need to take care of themselves as well, taking care of people with dementia is both physically and psychologically demanding, especially in western countries where everyone also has a job.
@@potatoO0o not sure what you are being so aggressive about. Is it common in your country to use foul speech like tell people they are "talking out of their ...."? My guess is that you come from America because only American talk in such awful manner to strangers. Do you know how to talk civilly? In my comment I actually agreed with you that in some cases people cannot afford to look after the elder full-time so I am not sure why you have glossed over this? And the fact that "everyone" in the household in western countries are forced to work full-time jobs in order to make ends meet...do you not see this as a problem that the society has been set up in such a way that everyone is now corporate slaves?
And yes, people must be in a psychologically good place to look after loved ones with Dementia, with support if necessary. I never thought/said otherwise. However, in western countries there is now also too much reliance purely on psychologists instead of communities helping one another.
Nothing wrong with going to Thailand for proper care, but I think their spouses should live there as well. Seems crazy to drop off a loved one 10,000 miles away.
I think he has to work Switzerland dollars or pension to pay the Thailand services
Maybe they need to work to support their spouse. Not always possible to do it remotely.
They have three children who still need one parent. I am a care worker and I get what your saying. But people with dementia forget those they love. And as it was said on here, sometimes they can even cause more distress to them as they know they should remember them but they can’t. I have many residents who’s family live minutes away and still don’t visit. I think this is a brave but amazing decision to make for your loved one. I work night shifts and 4 of us care for 38 people. Here 4 people care for 1 person round the clock. That’s a no brainier.
Alzheimer’s... she probably can’t remember who her family is. 😞, that is the pain of dementia.
hopefully you noticed that that is EXACTLY what the one couple did... they were both journalists... now he's at the resort and she's writing a book... and they brought their dog... so they are together... until the end...
bittersweet story.
Our parents took care of us while we were little. As children we must take care of our parents when they are old. They need love in their twilight years.
Tell that to western children.
@@Flourish_today Asian children need to be taught to respect animals, strangers, gays, people of other races, people of other religions. They only care about their own family members. That's why their rates of organ donation and blood donation and veganism are so low compared to western children. They don't donate money to animal shelters or wildlife refuges or apply to veterinary schools when they are living in the west, even though they make more money and have higher rates of university education than the western natives do. They only care about their own kinship group. SerpentZA has made many videos about this. Go read Jayman's blog article "The Rise of Universalism". Go read up on cousin marriage and the Hajnal Line on HBD Chick's blog.
Totally agree with you.
@@toxicwaste920 i understand your pain and no, my parents didnt abandon me but my dad made my life miserable.....but still its not an excuse to not care for them even if he or she abandoned me. Don't repay evil with evil bc you will breed more evil. Bc what you do to them you will get back even if you were good to your children bc you sowed a seed of neglect. Pls be kind to them bc it will give you nothing but peace in your old age.❤❤❤
@The Aphotic Cacophony of Merry Epiphanies lol. Yea i know...but still take care of them. Be better for yourself and your future.
He’s right : the respect of the elderly in the East is something that we can learn from.
We always respected the elderly I'm in my early 60s but no elderly went to a home unless they had dementia and family couldnt look after them
That's ridiculous. It happen's in the East as well as the West. Look up and read about the elderly in China, who are left on their own, living in cage apartment's.
What is it with Filipinos! I just became a carer after years of being a Director of Advertising. I decided to go back to work after my son went to university. I thought a caregiving career was closest to my true self. So I got a job in a Carehome and have been trained by a mother-daughter Filipino team. My god! I’ve never witnessed such efficiency, intelligence mixed with such love-respect and empathy! These women work their a-ses off! But no matter what, they’re loving and truly care. I adore them and feel so privileged. I’m shocked at how underrated this career is.....I’ve never worked so hard and I ran 13 magazines! I’m so privileged to be working with these Filipinos.
I’m actually in tears watching this. To see people with dementia have such a quality of life and excellent care. We have to send our loved ones 10,000 miles away to achieve this!
you can take care of them at your home do you think that they want to live 10000 miles away from you?
@@mrrobot4840 they don't know where they're living.
If they live with you, there are sooo many wonderful home care nurses who can help to give breaks to caregivers or while you’re at work. There is also what’s called “companion care” in America. There are options...
@@birdgirl1516 Unless you have more than one with equal or more intensive care required. The point being you don’t know what else the caregivers had on their plate. I have 3; husband with chronic and life threatening disease, daughter-in-law with chronic and life threatening disease, autistic grandchild. Soon decisions will have to be made as I age and the ones requiring care age as well. Where would you have these loved ones go? If they are cared for, safe and happy, I would be more than happy to look at options as I get to the point of requiring care myself.
Em Andem
I guess yr parents cared for y'all when yr growing and y'all had different needs!
I hope I never have to put my mother in an old-age home. May God give me the strength and the circumstances to care for her till her last breath. Ameen.
When it comes you'll know - God Bless you.
Amen🙏👍
Ameen
Amen
I was hoping that as well but it didn't turn out that way.
I just moved in with my Mom. I consider it a privilege to be able to care for her. I also am a nurse; and these people look great, they have been very well cared for. The caregivers are using the perfect approach; they are so gentle and that is absolutely what dementia patients need.
Hello Lazy, Greetings from Preston is very sad to see old people being treated badly I agree with your comment thank God there is a place like this. How about you, how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe, where are you from home you don't mind me asking.
Shocking to see those fragile elders being treated so bad, bless the Asians who keep there parents with them
It's as simple as that - Confucianism vs. hyper-individualism. I am white-passing and grew up in US white culture and it sucks - no one cares about anyone.
Alex Carter, but you care and I care and that's what matters, x
Slavic countries also don't dump the elderly in care homes
It is good that they only work 6 hour shifts. That keeps them from getting burned out. And they get the best care.
Some people here say that they don't want to put their parents in a care home. They're keeping them at home. But I would caution that you need help. One person can not do it all and not have a support system. It is a LOT emotionally and physically. So have a respite plan. This is nice. But I think the family needs to be around too. Not 10,000 miles away.
Asian and middle eastern in general countries that still believe in values and old fashion
Thank you Aljazeera for putting this story together. I am a 69-years-old American man, who spent over 10 years of my adult life in Thailand.
For the last seven years, as an only child, I have been the caregiver for my elderly parents. My Mother (95) recently passed away on July 23, 2020.
Now, I am caring for my Father (97), and preparing to take him to Mexico while he's still mobile, to help him get out of this house full of memories. Soon I will be dealing with the end of his life, as his frailty increases daily. Wherever we go, I am prepared for any eventuality.
In THAILAND, I witnessed the highest standard of culturally-based care for the elderly that I have seen anywhere.
In the United States, although we are making some scattered progress in end-of-life care, we are still very much, a death-denying culture on the whole. Death is too often viewed as some sort of failure, or "mistake". Due to the fact that Buddhism teaches all Thais, and from a very young age, that life is subject to "suffering" (which is experienced in our Birth, Old-Age, Sickness and Death). This worldview, and the Thai culture's respect for the elderly, have helped Thailand to become very much exemplary in their standard of care for the elderly and disabled. The level of patience and compassion they practice is truly incredible.
Videos like this can go a long way toward helping other cultures to see what is possible in their own countries, for raising care of the elderly to a higher standard.
Each of us, from the moment of our births, are like arrows that have been shot toward the ultimate "target", which is death. We should teach our young people from an early age about the fact that life is permeated with impermanence and change. That all lives, whether long or short, happy or unfulfilled, end in the experience we call "death". Taking care of our own loved-ones, as they get near the end can often be overwhelming.
This is exacerbated by debilitating diseases like Alzheimer's and Dementia. We are making progress with these heartbreaking.maladies. But it's our responsibility to ourselves, our families, and our societies in general to improve our approach to helping the elderly to navigate death as painlessly as possible, as none of us here will be able to avoid this most profound of all life's poignant experiences.
Thank you for this thought provoking comment. God bless you.
Thank you, Brad. Beautifully, said. I wish you the best
Agree with what you write. However, the unmentioned factor in the video is money. How much do Thai and Mexican carers get paid? If you are paying in American dollars for care in Thailand as in the video, although it is undoubtedly not cheap (people featured appeared to have money and time to travel back and forth from US or Europe to visit their relatives), it would be immeasurably more expensive to buy the equivalent care in Europe or America. Most Americans and Europeans could not afford this level of care for themselves/ their relatives. Most people would not wish to end their days in a foreign country where staff may not speak their language or understand their culture.
New ways of thinking about this problem are required.
Well said in regards how aging in the US is viewed as a failure and how we somehow are blamed for becoming old.
Thank you for sharing your dedication to your mother and father, Brad. Your love for them is inspiring. This life doesn't end with death. It's a door to eternal life with our Creator and Savior who loves you and them. God bless you.
I am an American, I was with both my parents until the end. They gave my Dad kimo he feel in the hospital hit his head. I road 18 hours on a bus to get to him. I believe the hospital killed him. I spent 8 years taking care of my mother, the visiting nurses kept trying to get her to sign hospice paper work, she had to have dialysis, if in hospice they won't give you dialysis, she would have died in 5-7 days. She lived 8 years because my sister, my brother and I WOULD Not put her in a home.
I did not know this. My brother in law has kidney disease and is on a transplant list. If he ever mentions hospice, I'll tell him they won't let him have dialysis if he signs the paperwork for it.
That was 10 years ago now they have a classification called Pallitive care, within hospice, and they do dyalises.
Wow 😔 ❤️
God Bless you richly!
God bless you all. It is not like that for my family.
When I briefly worked in a nursing home, one of the hardest things was the pain and confusion the patients suffered, wanting to go home, but not feeling at home anywhere.
I've seen that too and also noticed how many with adult children were hardly ever or even never visited by their family; if they did visit, they had no empathy and just came & went once in a blue moon. Then there was the abusive night staff who at best were disrespectful of elderly people and stole from them (clothes, etc); it was quite an education.
@@oliviastar3812 Heartbreaking.
I hear you. Been there, seen that and I agree that is the sadest part of nursing home work.
This is why our ancestors all lived under one roof. They respected their elders. You took care of one another. Now it’s me me me !
@Saluki N 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
Also I don’t think it was as expensive and time has different standards.
@Saluki N Thank you for telling us. I think you're making a good decision for your children and your own mental well-being knowing you won't be a burden to them.
No, it's that empathy has been distributed to strangers, so there is less empathy for in-group kin members. This is why there is less racism nowadays, more vegans nowadays, more organ donation and blood donation nowadays. The more people care about their own family members, the more ethnocentric in-group racial preference they have, the more homo sapien in-group species preference they have (and therefore less likely to become vegan, donate to a wildlife refuge, volunteer at an animal shelter, become a veterinarian), the more likely they are to ONLY donate an organ to a family member but not to a stranger, the more likely they are to be corrupt, because they don't care about hurting strangers via tax evasion or hiring nepotism or giving 5-star reviews to their friends and family members' businesses even if the business is low quality, which compromises the trustworthiness and effectiveness of review websites such as Google Reviews and Zagat restaurant ratings.
Whats wrong with being self centered?
I'm so thankful that my father and my wife's mother lived with us and our children during their last months/years. They neither wanted, nor deserved to live isolated in a nursing 'home.' No son/daughter should do any less for the one that give them birth/life/education/love. I miss you, mom and dad.
*@Moirbasso.* Thousands of blessings upon you and your family. 😍
Love your comment Greetings from Preston how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe. Where are you from the hope you don't mind me asking.
@@prestonsmith9824 the U.S. Midwest, basically
My mum NEVER went to care home! ( DESPITE THE DOCTORS ADVICE) Yes, I live in the UK and put everything on hold to take care of her! She is mine! RIP mum! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
This is the way it should be. RIP to your mother
God bless you❤️
Bravery
@@annalafayette838 Amen! And God bless you too!
💜💜💜
The lack of honour, respect and dignity given to so many of our valuable elders across the world is a complete disgrace of humanity.
I had the honour of caring for my dad in his last days and i feel blessed to have spent this time with him and to have the opportunity to give to him love and care like he had given me throughout my life, our world needs to fully realize the value our elders bring to society.
I loved this it's very excellent care I love it.., my mother died of Alzheimers 2 years ago.i loved her so much and I am an RN I took care of her 24/7 on my days off..i worked 3 days a week at the hospital..she had a caregiver for my 12-hour shift. Then I came home put her to bed and got her up before work...i had cameras at home so I could watch her...i would give anything to hug her or feed her again...i still cry I miss her so much
My Mom passed about 3+ years ago and I can so relate, I miss my Mom allot. I Thank God that He gave me such a great Mom. So grateful to my Heavenly Father!💔
B G 💙🙏🏾
I took care of my parents needs for almost 10 years..first in their home and after dad passed mom in mine...i finally had to find a private nursing home for her. My doctors and her doctors told me that i was going to die before her if i didnt do something different. It was hard but i am glad i held out till the last llittle more than a year in her life. I couldnt ever forgive myself if i hadnt. Even then i am disappointed in my self that i wasnt stronger physically , mentally and financially to finish the job.
@@marjoriejohnson6535 Please don't be disappointed in yourself. I sometimes have the same thoughts and feelings. But please forgive yourself, I know for sure that your Mom and Dad appreciated everything you did for them, the care you gave them...🙏❤💓💕💔
I pray you are cared for as well
God is stepping in and showing out,so if you have lost your income, God will punish these evil and greedy old demons!
God will take care, and supply your every need. Karma never loses an address.
50 years old with alzimers wow that's so young
@Rusty ok thanks
@Rusty It's so true. I'm a pharmacist. Many years ago, during my time in pharmacy school, I learnt about the side effects of some drugs, which I'm surprised are approved for use. Statin and daily oral contraceptives are one of them, and I resolved never to take them. The side effects are overwhelming but remain unknown to common people.
Maybe if people would be responsible for their aging parents, the same way those parents did when they were children, you can easily monitor things like drugs prescription. Drugs alter the brain, that is most likely why he has Alzheimer’s at such a young age. This disease is very rare in Africa.. I wonder why.
@@missqt48
I think because people there eat natural food that they prepare fresh every day, without preservatives and pesticides hormones and unnecessary antibiotics and flavor enhancers and so on
I took care of a farmer at a care center that was diagnosed with dementia at the age of 45-47
I must say as an American were taught from birth that we are are great moral people but now I'm older I see that we aren't all that good at all!
yeah...Sorry, but you guys seem to be taking the approach of 'kill off all the old people' right now. You must have a lot of empty seniors homes by now. I wonder if that will bring standards up or prices down?
No, it's that some of the empathy that we ONLY had for our own kin has been directed at non-kin, due to outbreeding. This is why Americans treat strangers, animals, gays, refugees, the disabled, people of other races, and people of other religions, with more respect than non-Northwestern European-descended people do. I think this is a good thing, and not something you should be lamenting, as you seem to be doing. Sure, Arabs may treat their own kin the best, because they practice cousin marriage more than anyone else, but at the expense of treating strangers, gays, animals, non-Muslims, non-Arabs, the disabled, and strangers worse than any other group does. From JayMan's article "How Inbred Are Europeans?'" on his "jman" column on the UNZ website of Ron Unz: "It’s hard to escape the observation that there might be a “sweet spot” when it comes to clannishness (and hence perhaps inbreeding). This is apparently centered somewhere around level “3”. At that level, you get most of the advantages of outbreeding, including liberal democracy, functional institutions, and a high-trust society, but retain a certain level of nationalism and ethnic cohesion that allows the society to resist opening itself to non-reciprocating outsiders, as the most outbred Northwestern Europeans apparently have. Some of these countries in the 3-4 range seem to lack much of the deleterious universalist sentiments found in those scoring 1-2. This may be the case in Finland & Japan, and might explain the interesting “in-between” characteristics these societies have."
the same goes for all societies, even those who proclaim they do are flawed, we all are.
@@moondog7694 I'm just a flawed human being that like many others unfortunately, talks without thinking things through. It's hard to do with all the misinformation that we are bombarded with on a daily basis, did not intend to offend anyone.
This is beautiful. I've spent many years caring for the elderly - many of them Alzheimer's patients. I've seen abuse in American nursing homes. And I've seen very pitiful situations where elderly live in unattended squalor at home.
Eastern culture tends to treat the elderly with great respect. I love this.
Well, the times they are a changing (at least in Japan, Korea, China), "thanks" to urbanization, globalization, modernization, Westernization (But the East is also working on robots and AI to cope with this).
@@user-97n0xg.d6gfh sad to hear that; seems westernisation is rot.
and how do you know they will not be neglected or abused in Thailand? Especially since it seems most of their families will not be living there to keep an eye out for them?
Mary Ellen. Being Indian myself, I can vouch that ostensibly it is true that we Asians traditionally tended to take care of elderly ourselves but this was about 30-40 years ago in the age when most Asian (esp Indian) families tended to be extended and big (minimum 7-8 family members with most of them adult). As families have gotten smaller and nuclear, this is no longer the case even in India. I can assure you the abuse and other horrors at nursing homes exist over here too and dedicated compassionate people are difficult to find here too. Ultimately, this is really going to be a long-term disaster in 15-20 years worldwide. While we have to take care of the unfortunate people who already have dementia, I think there is no doubt the real solution is to both find a medical solution if possible to the problem and also try to prevent it as best though dementia is a really tricky situation. Its not a relatively simple disease like even heart disease, kidney disease etc. We don't know the etiology of the disease really at all.
@@oliviastar3812 Not all of it. Given how the East treats and values menmore than women and the differnece in how they treat thoses with disabilties it is not exactly free from issues as well
As a long time professional care provider I see so many things that these places are doing right. The clients appear to be doing better they would be at home. Well done.
This is untrue of the ones, and this are most of them, that are dumped and their children are ill trained.
I have been working with health aids and in personal care homes for 20 years. My honest opinion is that Thailand is the best place for the elderly. I had the pleasure of knowing Thai families growing up, they care deeply for their elderly, it is about a culture of respect.
in Thailand : money , greed & corruption is the only thing
We don't judge people we don't know though..
Truth!
I’m so so glad that woman moved there too to be with her husband ❤️
No matter what how good it is, I couldn’t send any family member to the other side of the world on their own. I’d be worried sick and the guilt would eat me up.
Yes it seems to suit them well. I couldn't send someone on their own either.
@MrThemorningsun For your information in Africa we take care of our parents. Parents came first. We build our husband parents house first before our own. Now we build our house and we have already included a room for them. In Africa its a known fact you will take care your parent no matter what
@MrThemorningsun I just realized your knowledge of Africa is from western media propaganda. Those who told you cant do business i Africa are the one here investing.
Please educate yourself
Agreed!!! She stayed with him!
@MrThemorningsun stop saying bs you don’t know about. You probably have never been to Africa yourself so don’t make assumptions that aren’t based on facts
Being a full-time carer for a dementia sufferer is the hardest thing you'll ever do. We have taken care of my cousin at home for five years until she began to have extremely violent fits and would climb out of a window to roam the woods. After six weeks in a psychiatric-geriatric hospital, after the last episode where she destroyed her room, a locked behavioral memory care unit had an opening. They have the ability to use chemical restraints as needed for her safety and the safety of others. We had to face the fact that we couldn't keep her safe. It's sad because even her slightly lucid moments had disappeared entirely. The progression of dementia is unpredictable and no case is exactly the same. The western world is not ready for the explosion in numbers of an aging population with an increasing percentage of dementia.
Thank you for sharing this extremely difficult situation with your cousin and your extreme dedication. I'm sorry. God bless you and her.
My grandma also suffered from dementia. I was just 10yrs old but I cleaned her potty and also fed her like a baby.
Bless your heart 💐
Very good karma for you. Well done.
God bless you
Do you feel bad about your parents for subjecting you a child to such demanding chores.
@@KS-cl8br No, not at all. By looking at my mom cleaning and feeding grandma it came naturally to me that I should also take responsibility. Mom managed her job, house chores and grandma. Me and my siblings had only school so we looked after grandma when our parents were working.
I have no children. I hope I can go somewhere like this when I’m alone.
You can always go to your relatives. 🙌🏻
@@mryllkhryss8880 Not when your relatives don’t have time for you.
I have no parents I hate Christmas
@@TheTazzietiger I'm sorry to hear that, we can always virtual hangout if you want
@@TheTazzietiger I'm in France
Yup, Southeast Asian people respect their older people very much. We will not send them to home care.
yup and we take pride in it generation after generation
And that's how it should be for all people! Take care and respect their elders! Til the end! I helped my grandmother almost daily in her last years tried to see her everyday , our time together was most valuable precious time !some of the best best memories was made with my grandmother before she passed away from a stroke! I sure miss her everyday!
The idea of filia piety is strong. Many asian countries have the idea of respecting elders high on their list. Good or bad.
Unless you have no one else to take care of you, in which case you'd have no option but to bow out of this world. Their governments only encourage people to procreate and indoctrinate young people into respecting the elderly at ANY cost to mask the failure of building a humane social care system, and of course, as always, for the tax revenue.
@Respectable Man
Usually in those cases, they sent to a nearby care center. Usually the parents who are old enough to still talk live with their children. Some elders who have terminal illness like cancer would themselves choose to live and die within their children's homes than get treated.
If you're a parent yourself, one advantage of taking care of your own parents is that your own children get to have a deeper relationship with their grandparents. One of my best memories as a child is having grown up with my grandparents.
That experience stays with you forever, and we want our children to experience the same
Setting a good example for your children!
I feel so sad that the mother had Alzheimer at 50 years old.
Yes and her horrible family threw her away to Thailand.
Horrifying and Terrifying
@@SKBottom my mother is 58. Praise God she is fine. I pray for her to be healthy
Yes still so young
@@esperanzaletchido2255 IKR my mom is 58
"I can't remember to remember..." God, that hit me hard.
Compared to western age care homes it looks so much better 🙂
It's also a matter of scale. They're comparing a huge people warehouse to 10 people in a resort. My Dad used to go for respite care in a fabulous home, with maybe 30 patients. It was a really nice place but not home 😔.
ya when the cameras are filming...
@@lieutenantlascivious1992 have you been there Eric?
@@lieutenantlascivious1992 very true. I did my training in one of the home care in bkk. Witnessed a lot. Even local elderly were being treated not well. There are a lot who are nice carer though. But I thought that Thais are more compassionate, patience and caring bec of their beliefs and in their cultures. But still, it is still depends on the attitude of an individual human being. Never let you deceived by the smiles alone.
I live in Thailand and can say that it's in their culture to take care of the elderly. My mother in law and her mother live in the house next to mine. I never heard of Thai living in a edelry home like it's common in the west. In fact a quick google search only show service targeting foreigner.
My mom is now in a nursing home very close to me. I'm the only one left and it got to the point I could no longer care for her without ending up in the hospital myself. I bring her home for day visits. I go spend time with her there. I've decorated her room to make it a bright, happy place. The key is checking in often. I'm very grateful they love my mom and take great care of her. It's not as simple as the statement OP posted. If I'm not ok, mom won't be ok and she needs me. There are thousands of reasons this statement isn't realistic or fair. Capitalism doesn't give is the ability to care for our older family.
Your last sentence!
I believe part of the reason we don't have compassionate care for our elderly is the value our society places on profit. Literally everything that's done in our culture is done in relation to money: How much does it cost? How much would it cost? What can we make off of it? How can we save money? Who can do it for less? And so on..... As someone who's struggled to have enough to make ends meet, I find this type of existence to be soul sucking. Hopefully I'll be able to find something better, that we'll find a way to do better.
@@erinmcdonald7781 ANY system is only as good as its components of course.
The problem, which does not seem fair somehow, is that a few "Bad Apples" can contaminate the whole barrel.
It does SEEM as though humanity is doomed simply because we, as a group, never seem to LEARN from our mistakes.
We might have better "toys" these days but our fundamental INABILITY to consistently chose .. AS A SOCIETY.. THAT which is GOOD and DECENT, HONORABLE, JUST, and Compassionate over petty self interests and greed has doomed us to perpetual failure and suffering.
Basically, the human race appears incapable of moving forward in any meaningful, lasting way. I blame it partly on our Tribal mental which pits one group against another... creating "enemies" where NONE exist.
As long as ANY human believes that they are fundamentally BETTER than any other human being... then as humans, we will never move to the next level of existence.
From time to time a rare human soul may well make the LEAP from animal ego mind to Divine Mind... but they will not, can not lift humanity up with them. Those great eternal BEings such as Jesus, Krishna, The Buddha ( all simply different forms of THAT Same Divine ONE), have shown that most are incapable of following the simplest of instructions.... Love others as yourselves. That one simple teaching could set them free... and yet humanity is incapable of doing it.
It is the ego's fault... that ego which convinces us that we are EITHER Better than another... OR, just as damaging. . LESSER than another.
Because of this 'false' ego we BELIEVE that we are somehow DIFFERENT from one another... when at our core essence.. where it actually matters.. we are EXACTLY THE SAME.
@@faithrada Wow. A profound, yet simple answer. What you say is true. On the whole we can be quite a disappointing species. It is probably also true that this would fly right over the heads of a number of people with this attitude.
What I hope is that we can push the numbers living the golden rule, or Beau of the Fifth Column's Rule 303, where if you see a need, do something (paraphrased), to outnumber the others, thus gradually improving the situation. To me, there are enough people with heart in our world to justify hope.
I hold no illusions, though. Things aren't going to go easy, or smoothly. All we can do is what we're able accomplish. Whether that's enough, only time will tell.
@@erinmcdonald7781 I agree with your approach... to at least make an effort is a worthy endeavor.
I suspect however that the only ones capable of rising above the fray... will be those who selflessly strive to better humanity. So.. it will happen... one soul at a time.
Then again ... THAT which we are exists in the Eternal.. sooo patience wins the day. 😉
@@faithrada Truth! It will likely take more time than I have, but this is for the rising generations as well.
Also, I agree there's more than just this existence. I'm guessing there will be some surprises, and hoping there will be new vistas.
Caring for a family member that has alzheimer's is brutally tough. My brother in laws mother has it at 53 and its so hard on her and her family. She is slowly losing her mind and she knows it...its really heart breaking.
Aw, so sad. I believe people have right to end their life if they choose, and still can. Should not be illegal.
@@tamikog7645 Its rare I guess and she looks younger than her age. The average for alzheimer's is 80, though a small percentage see early signs at the age of 65-75 so i'm told.
Sorry to hear.
@@nyk3334 Thank you
There is an early onset type of Alzheimer’s. One well known person who had it was Pat Summitt, Tennessee Women’s Basketball coach.
I was overwhelmed taking care of my Mom who had dementia. She didn't sleep at night and needed 24 hour care. She needed a full-time staff with cooks, bathers, cleaners, prescription maintenance . Many of the care givers in assisted living were Philippino. I am grateful for their care.
Filipinos are respectful of their elders, family oriented, have a pleasant disposition and a strong work ethic.
Asian people values elderly..
Yes.....Eastern people have great respect and reverence for the elderly.
It was painful for us to send my grandpa to nursing home. But you will soon realize that one person can not care for an elderly 24/7....no matter how hard you try! We had a live-in helper but grandpa was up ALL hours of the night and still think he’s 18 years old and does what he wants! He would never ask for help nor ring bells for help...instead he would try to get out of bed or wheelchair by himself and fall everytime! I swore I would check myself into nursing homes when it’s my time....but Thailand sounds much more interesting
@@qwenethnguyen3252 your parents and grandparents able to take care of you when your a baby 24/7 and now that they can't take care of themselves, you won't able to do that?
I don't like people who given up their families because they just though they can't take care of them. Its just like your wasting the last minute of their lives feel like they're being abandoned. I took care of my grandfather until he died, he can't walk and he started behaving like a child, I fed him, change his clothes and everything he needs for 2 years because I know he only had limited time, that's why wanted to be with him so that he won't feel alone, I'm only grade 4 at that time. I don't like standing there doing nothing, I want to help my uncle and aunty taking care of grandpa.
This is not paradise but...it’s much much better than the long term cares in the west, especially during the pandemic....shortages of staffs, rising costs, abusive system, neglected...
You forgot to mention the warm weather 365 days, outdoor fresh air living and friendly helpful staff.
I work in long-term care, and it is disheartening.. It's so depressing to see once interactive residents, just hold out in their rooms & give up. It's gotten worse the last 3 month's.
This is so embarrassing. I’m currently studying Nursing and majority of us (classmates) were struggling academically. Embarrassing because we are so focus on academics as it is important, you do not want to make mistakes injecting etc. but we are not being taught how to practice patient care.
Thai people are good at this.other asians also good.
And they are racist to none British people in their country. They will not let other foreigners elderly parents come to the uk to be cared for by their family . Don't let the uk in your country.
Great decision!! They have nursing home too in the Philippines. My aunt moved to the Philippines (registered nurse) to hire a 24 hour nurse to care for my uncle who also suffered from dimentia and alzheimer. They sold everything in California and decided to permanently moved to the Philippines. Now, my uncle and aunt are both peaceful. Closer to their families too.
Hello Beth, Greetings from Preston is very sad to see old people being treated badly I agree with your comment thank God there is a place like this. How about you, how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe, where are you from home you don't mind me asking.
This is where I want to work. Being a PCA/CNA in the states is mentally, emotionally and physically tiring.
Thank you for your work!. It is the most delicate job, and i can understand it is stressful when you are not uphold by a proper community.
I hope somebody will be there to care for you too, when you are old.
@Ivan Poohbear Yes totally agree. I’ve just retired after a lifetime in nursing as an RN. I’ve seen firsthand the extremely complex problems families face in trying to care for parents at home. If dementia is present with mobility it can be beyond all the physical and emotional resources of the strongest person, it being a 24 hr job as they often don’t sleep and eventually relieve themselves anywhere in the house, are constantly trying to get out and can have very resistive and even physical aggression towards family members. So yes, people who have ‘romantic’ ideas of how everyone should look after their own parents have no idea of the very varied and complex individual situations people face
Of course do it as long as you can if you’re lucky enough to have a parent who fortunately doesn’t have the above problems but don’t destroy yourself and your family in the process when or if it changes and becomes unbearable.
I’ve also worked as an RN for years in Nursing Home facilitates ....another area where the public have very little idea of the complexities of the broken system that exists in most Western countries. I’ve had 45 years experience in almost all fields of Nursing and Aged Care was by far the most challenging, frustrating and exhausting job I’ve ever had. There has been many dedicated, hard working staff up to now doing the very best they can under sometimes impossible conditions but unfortunately as more and more of the older experienced nurses and Carers are leaving the system the future is more bleak than ever.
@Ivan Poohbear The concept of taking care of people at home is fine until mobility or competence to do so becomes a problem. I faced this decision twice in my life and it was necessary to put my parents in care when it became impossible to lift them and get them to the toilet etc. These tasks were better done by qualified people who were strangers rather than by unqualified family members. The only healthcare worker in our family was disabled and too physically unable to take on any role in this care.
@@nurse580 Well put. My grandfather was a very strong man. When dementia took over, he became violent and threatening. My teenage cousin had to follow him if he slipped outside to make sure he knew how to get home. He’d brandish knives in anger. It was not safe for anyone to continue caring for him at home. And, worse, if you’re caught trying to restrain someone like him at him, someone would call the police saying it’s elder abuse. Better to let the professionals handle it. Too bad nursing homes cost more than college tuition if you want to send your loved one to a good one.
I'm a 66 year old American who has been living in Thailand for the last 9 months. I would highly recommend retiring here. Care facilities are world class and affordable.
My heart broke when she said she didn't realize she has a son. This is so depressing, hope they're getting all the care they need
This is a fact of life throughout the world as aging populations increase. In the name of progress, people want independence to live their own lives so it falls to others to provide formal care, it is demanding both physically and emotionally, caring for others no matter what age or disability and in most countries 'Caring' is an undervalued occupation. Is it the wish of the person experiencing dementia, to live in another country, away from their network of friends, family and familiarity and does this transition further impact on their deteriorating condition? or is it the families decision and why???. (In who's best interest)....! 'One lady said she wanted to return home'. !!!! Consider is she being Deprived of her liberty and is it lawful. What safeguards are in place to ensure people are well cared for. There are many issues in the care industry all over the world, but there are also formal carers all over the world, who are passionate about their work and go above and beyond to ensure their cared for persons have quality of life, dignity and respect, both in the community and in care homes. Just some points to consider before such a decision is made...
Happened to someone I know too. He went to visit his mother at Christmas and was greeted by "who are you?" No one had warned him and he was in shock from that.
Unfortunately that's the cruelty of the Alzheimer's, not a reflection of the care she receives. The caregivers make special photo books of their friends & family- complete with their names & who they are to remind them.
God bless the individuals that opened and own this beautiful, serene, care homes in Thailand 🇹🇭 🙏
Greetings from Harlem, New York. Do you think it wold be possible to start a facility like this on a smaller scale in the USA?
definitely would also cost a lot of money! these things don't come cheap anywhere if they really give the care to the elderly, as they show in this video
The Philippines should have one or more like this caring facilities. Filipinos are English speakers, have soft heart and respectful of elderlies, and will feel blessed to have this kind of job in the Philippines, without having to go abroad.
It will make Phillipines a more tourist freindly place
Philippines need better infrastructure first before that can happen.
Yes, so that they won't be away from their families to go to middle eastern countries just to be abused and be underpaid.
Philippines should improve it's own social welfare and economy first before embarking on this endeavor.
@@subotaiKhan There are enoug places where the infrastructure is already working quite well. And there are already such homes. I know of at least two in Cebu and Iloilo.
Also the workforce is there, mostly overqualified, with an degree even, for a job as elder care, where in the western world almost no elder care worker has even studied.
I would be happy if my children send me to a place like this rather than throwing me in a dreary place.
It looks like heaven on earth to me.
@@sharonritchie6365 I'm with you guys. Thailand has got to be better. It can't get any worse in our home countries
I will pick my own place 😉
It is certainly an option.
I work in a good care home and I’m proud of the way we treat our ladies. We take them to the salon to get their hair done, they shop, some of them have small jobs, and we even do things like aromatherapy when they’re stressed. But care homes generally are terrible and I would much rather go to a place like this.
thai people look after their families,they highly value the ones that bought them up,its how it should be
All Asian people love and respect their parents and children and look after them carefully
Unfortunately, whether in the UK or the USA, they seem to put violence or lack of care for the elderly and that is sad. If this place is a place to be it is good.
Western countries make money out of therapy , diagnose the parents as cause of all ills ... Is there any wonder respect is eroding ..
@@donnaharris8097 Respect is eroding? No, western countries are becoming more respectful than the non-Western countries are. The West has made better strides in respect for animals, respect for people of other races, respect for the disabled (I've heard that the disabled are treated poorly in the middle east, and I've heard that they like to hide away the disabled in northeastern Asia. I've heard Asian women abort disabled fetuses at much higher rates than white women do). Western countries have made the greatest strides in respect for gays and others of different sexualities. People in the west probably respect people of other religions more so than in other countries; they allow people of other religions to immigrate permanently to their own country. I've heard that the middle east does accept refugees, but they have to be the same religion as the majority of the people in the country they're immigrating to. Also, watch the film Borat to see how patient and polite and accepting the white Westerners were towards the perceived Muslim Borat when he was in the USA. Also, we respect the Earth in the west more, as evidenced by the higher rates of obeying fishing laws compared to Asians. It can be seen as respecting future generations of humans, since humans will need air to breathe and water to drink and food to eat in the future, and without a functioning ecosystem, that will be impossible. Respect for their own university is also more common in Westerners, as Asian Americans are more likely to cheat than white Americans: see the article "Asian Immigrants and What No One Mentions Aloud" on the EducationRealist blog on Wordpress: educationrealist.wordpress.com/2013/10/08/asian-immigrants-and-what-no-one-mentions-aloud/ :"The stereotype, delicately put: first and second generation Chinese, Korean, and Indian Americans often fail to embody the sterling academic credentials they include with their applications, and do not live up to the expectations these universities have for top tier students.
Less delicately put: They cheat. And when they don’t cheat, they game tests in a way utterly incomprehensible to the Western mind, leading to test scores with absolutely zero link to underlying ability. Or both. Or maybe it’s all cheating, and we just don’t know it. Either way, the resumes are functional fraud." Also read the University of Minnesota article "Culture and Academic Integrity": "International students may come into the U.S. academic system with training and beliefs about using sources that can lead to dire consequences. In a number of cultures, students are expected to know and use the words of others - experts - rather than their own words, and this does not need to be acknowledged in their writing." wins.umn.edu/considering-culture/culture-and-academic-integrity. "This is to say nothing of the differences in academic cultures between different countries. The Faculty of Graduate Studies references this on their page regarding international applications as it states, ”Some cultures do not view plagiarism as a problem. Some may even view it as good scholarship. In fact, many international schools have no policy or definition of plagiarism. However, in Canada, plagiarism is a serious academic offence." - www.carillonregina.com/plagiarism-an-ongoing-issue/
@@Ammiel7 All? Love and respect their children??? Read Lloyd DeMause. "Mr. deMause states that the further back into history one goes and the further away from the West that one goes, the worse the incidences of child sexual abuse become. In many countries in the world, incest is routine among families. Fathers, brothers, uncles and grandfathers molest little girls. Mothers, aunts, sisters, and grandmothers molest little boys. India, China, Japan, the Near East and the Far East are just some of the countries that incest is prevalent in today. Little girls are treated worse than little boys because in many countries, little girls are considered worthless with no value of any kind." How about Amy Chua not allowing her daughter access to water for hours on end (or food, or sleep) before she played a piano piece perfectly? Or the Korean parents who remove their children's bed from their bedrooms to force them to study until 3am and then force them to wake up at 5am to go to cram school? Or the Korean parents who spent days at an internet cafe, leaving their baby to starve and dehydrate to death? Kim Yoo-chul, 41, and Choi Mi-sun, 25. What about the Sugamo child abandonment case, and the Osaka child abandonment case, and Rie Fujii who abandoned her two infant kids in her apartment for 10 days, which caused their deaths? Did Jennifer Pan love and respect her Tiger Parents? So much that she hired hitmen to try to kill both of them? Lookup "coin-operated-locker babies" on Wikipedia. They do that in Japan. 65% of Cambodian boys were physically abused, according to the Al Jazeera documentary "It's a Man's World". From The Journal of Psychohistory: " most Japanese parents still regularly have sexual
in-tercourse while the child is in bed with them,(161) one wonders how
scholars can continue to maintain that nothing sexual usually happens to the
Japanese child in the family bed, particularly since none have yet ask-ed
the children themselves about their sexual experiences.
This stone wall on information about incest in Japan has been breach-ed
somewhat by four recent studies. The first is a Japanese feminist sex survey
modeled on those of Shere Hite that reported one-third of the respondents
having memories of being sexually abused by relatives or close friends as
children, a figure considerably higher than comparable American
questionnaire studies.(162) Secondly, other studies show that the majority
of urban parents in 1981 reported that they had lately begun to be bothered
by the thought that children with whom they slept might be aware of their
intercourse - a growing guilt about incestuous activities that was
increasingly common in the West in early modern times and which led for the
first time to separate beds for children"
America nursing homes are like a prison the caregivers are scarce and there's no time to be kind it's all clockwork
@Happy face The UK care homes are one of the worst ,most of the elderly are given anti psychotic medication .
They also mistreat the elderly
This is one of the most honest viewpoints ive ever read. Taking care of elderly in a home is probably one of the hardest job ever. It literally taking care of adult babies. I salute everyone who is doing this job.
@@sunshine-qk8qe Same thing in France. I've seen an elderly guy with mild Alzheimers symptoms (still oriented, continent, and verbal) who was dropped in by his family for a 'respite' of 1 or 2 weeks, while they were going off skiing. He was immediately put on antipsychotics (neuroleptics) and within 36 hours he collapsed with ventricular fibrillation. If the nurse (1 nurse and 2 caring assistants for 3 dozen patients, some of them wheelchair ridden or bedridden) hadn't rushed to get the defibrillator, while one of the caring assistant was calling 999, he wouldn't have survived. HIs son was back from his skiing holiday the same evening, absolutely livid, and not surprisingly, he never booked another 'respite'. Sadly, for some families, it's a relief when an elderly person dies like that : no more care fees.
Sadly the state of aged care in Australia is also not very good.
When I was young, I worked in a care facility and saw many abuses. Nursing homes are understaffed, but the aides were expected to get all their work done, which was impossible, so they lie on their charting. We all had to. If we told the truth, we'd get in trouble for not getting our work done.
Looking back, it is painful to know that we could not give these beautiful old human beings what they deserved. Because I am low income, I truly fear being put in a home.
I could not imagine being taken to a better place. In America, people's choices are few. When and if I get unable to care for myself, I would love to have my last days in such a beautiful place as Thailand! Even if I was aware of my surroundings and could not understand a word. Love is more important than words.
I live in a multi-generational family home. Never lonely and always have help. Merry Christmas. Peace. God bless all.
When I was in Uk ,our elderly landlord came in and said the first time we met him ..that how much he loves Indian culture reason not as I was expecting it could be food ..or other things but he said it was because ,we take care of our elderly,I have left Uk 5 years back but I still in touch and he address us as his children ❤️
I will look after my parents until my last breath, never put them in care home to die alone..
yes, but we don"t know what the future holds if we children will live longer than our parents.
Triss1888 Merigold . Why would they die alone? Are you planning to not ever visit them? If you can find a place nearby, you could visit everyday.
team triss
@Respectable Man My Mum looks after my Granny now and my whole Family helps in any way possible... We do not know other ways. Grandparents always have a place in Family home. Greetings from Eastern Europe and Merry Christmas! :)
@@TrissMerigold-xc1ub waaaaoooo great to hear that.thanku for Christmas wishes n may you have the best too.kindly I wound like to be a caregiver or homecare how can you help me please thanku in advance.
I've been trying to tell friends about this. I did a paper in college about nursing homes in America. It is an absolute nightmare. Staff not replacing the sheets and elders left there rotting in urine. Staff throwing elders to their bed. Just brutal. It is really inhumane. In Asia, people treat elders like human beings. They talk to the elders and listen. And this is the most important part. It is the human to human exchange. They treat elders like their distant grandmother's. Very personal and caring. America is an absolute nightmare. Even a high cost facility in America don't give you this kind of care like in Thailand.
The teenagers here in the USA look at 55 and 65 year olds and just dismiss them by saying , OK BOOMER. Imagine how must worse they treat them when they get 75 or 85!!!
Try working at these homes and you can imagine elderly neglect and abandonment.
I worked at a nursing home for one day and quit the same day after I found out how horrific the employees are to not only the seniors, but also their coworkers. It’s really sad how people abuse these elders so I’m glad people are looking at other countries as an alternative
And you left? So what kind a person are you then? Listen women, you are responsible for bringing the decline to human society by refusing to give birth! This will be your ending as well!
I worked in nursing home for a year when I was a teenager I enjoyed it. People in America have no respect for patients & health care has gone down hill in America since covid ruined it & fake news hides all of our governments ugly garbage.
When you are away from home, it is called vacation. And Thailand has a wonderful nature, culture, people and food. It is one of the best place to be at when you are young and old.
I took in and nursed both of my Grandmothers, and it was so difficult, but so worth it. It was a great honor. It’s a horror movie sometimes (lol), but it’s our absolute duty to care for our loved ones. Even if they must be in a nursing home, make sure you are there to check on them every day because no one is going to take your place as guardian. God bless those Thai nurses! They are true angels to stand in as surrogate daughters.
What do you mean that it's a horror move sometimes? I may have to take in my mom after she completes rehab in the nursing home and honestly it makes me a bit anxious. I will have to handle everything alone without any sibling or other family support and I'm kinda concerned about us getting along and caretaker stress.
@@jadexplores2100 I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! My grandmother was a massive narcissist and was emotionally abusive to my Mom and I. I loved her very much and forgave her always, but it didn’t make it easy. Even in the best of relationships it can be difficult, but I can promise you that it’s the most rewarding thing you will probably ever do. You will also have peace of mind that she’s getting the love and care she deserves. If at all possible, try to have a nurse/caregiver step in every so often so you can have a break, and think about seeing a therapist so you have a sounding board. Try not to worry, you’ll do great. And please be forgiving of yourself, no one is perfect and you WILL make mistakes. God bless 🙏💚
@@MayimHastings Thank you for replying so quickly. I must admit; I do not understand how you were able to forgive constantly when someone you are helping is consistently hurting you and your mother. I guess God has a lot of work to make me as forgiving and patient as someone like you; I just don't know how to do all of this. I already have had a therapist for quite some time and although they are great I still struggle immensely. I can only pray to be able to demonstrate the type of love you seem to have given so easily in such a challenging situation. Again, I admire you.
@@jadexplores2100 l
@@jadexplores2100 The trick is to think about the person you are caring for and not think about yourself. Yesterday has gone and tomorrow is not promised to us and so we only have today, so start each new day afresh and forgive and forget any unpleasantness. You know your mum probably did everything for you as a child. She probably kept her patience with you when you kept her up all night, or when you cried non stop or when you threw up all over her or when you were ill. It’s your turn now to have patience.
What I found the best, was that the carers can stay in Thailand and be near their families. The UK woman was in denial. I lived in the UK and the vast majority of carers in the system are foreigners. So much for language being vital. Love is through gestures, just like with children. Carers who bond with their patients know what they need. I worked in care in France, in a dementia hospital.
I agree about language; I lived in Thailand and while I did learn a bit of the language, more important was the way I felt accepted and loved by those around me, as a teacher, a friend and a neighbor. Language is wonderful and ideal if one speaks what others do, but it's not an absolute necessity. Thais are wonderfully warm and have an atittute towards everyone of acceptance and warmth. Great people and so happy for those who have been fortunate to find this type of care. Some day I will probably need it and now I know where I will ask my children to send me.
Looks cleaner and more lively than any of nursing homes I've seen in US!
That's because it's fulmed for TV and these places are EXPENSIVE. but you can't even drink the tap water there, or shower in it. Or cook with it. It's actually very very expensive to go to a home there. It's not for regular working class people. It's to make money off wealthy foreigners. Otherwise why would they open a care home? The up keep is so costly cause the govt pays for no infrastructure there. You pay for everything out of your pocket. No transport systems there, either . Highest traffic accident rate on earth, too...
And I lived there so I know! No health care system either. And the mozzues are so dangerous. Carry so many diseases. It's tropical climate. It's very hot and humid. I prefer Australia. Cheaper to live here, too . I can drink tap water for a start, and don't have to brush my teeth and cook with bottled water!! It adds up as you can imagine, in Thailand! And you have to TIP everyone.. omg.. it's so stressful .. Thailand isn't like this expensive resort for old people. Most of it is trashy. This old care home is first class, would easily cost over 100,000 pound a year! I know cause I've lived over there.
@@doxasophosmoros Of course they can shower with the water! Have you ever step out of the US? You sound ignorant.
@kaboom Of course you can shower in Thailand. Water filters are cheap for drinking water - we even filter water in Canada for goodness sake. Carehomes in Canada take 70% of the persons income. Cost of real estate and labor is so much cheaper they can provide vastly better services for a lower cost. Lower labor cost impacts everything from food to cleaning to washing to the nursing staff.
I already know I can live in SE Asia at the same standard of living or better for 1/3 the cost. If your income is from the west and independent of where you live (like a pension) why not lower your cost of living? Someone that needs care like these people can’t increase their income, but they can decrease their expenses.
@@doxasophosmoros thailand is way cheaper than australia. normal hotel room in oz is $100/day .in thailand $20. caregivers are esp cheap. in oz it will be $150 - $200/day. what about childcare and babysitting rates ? oz is very nice but has high charges in certain things esp house prices. its mad !! dont know about thai prices but in india, a 3 bed house in a seaside town can be bought A$50 K
The West has lost is family structure while the East still has kept it intact to a good extent. It is a pleasure to have the elderly at home, while they interact with the younger ones who need attention/time and the elderly have enough time :)
Yes, another aspect of The West's degeneration and decline. Very sad.
It's called social engineering. Over 100yrs ago the plan was set up to destroy western society, destroy the family unit, making it essential that both parents work, leaving your children to be brought up by the state Indoctrination. Family units destroyed, ease of divorce, the trans/gay revolution, abortion & birth control. It's disgusting what the Establishment have done to the West.
Hello, there! Greetings from Preston! How are you doing? I hope you are fine and staying safe. Where are you from? I hope you don't mind me asking. It's not easy looking after the elderly, but we have to accept that it is worth it.
@@prestonsmith9824 I am from Pakistan, not sure if you asked me :p
Time magazine wrote a great article about the ticking time bomb for elderly care in the western world. In East Asia there are very few care homes, the family unit is key. When I was young my grandmother looked after me (so you don't pay expensive child care.) My parents would then be able to work full time. When my grandmother was old then we would then look after her. This is a very traditional thing to do and seems to be a win-win!
Here in the Philippines, it's a disgrace/dishonor to not take care of your oldies.
People are more interested in getting divorced, re-married, starting a second set of kids, starting a 2nd or 3rd career, moving back and forth across the country at least once or twice, than family unity nowadays.
It is supposed to be like that. We should all be responsible for our family members. Yes, it is tough and there are sacrifices that are made but in the end you walk away with a clear conscience and family feeling they are loved. People have become selfish with there time and think of only themselves. I have cared for my spouse who is a disabled veteran for more than ten years and would have it no other way. Yes, there have been hard times and probably more but those too will pass
This is the natural circle of life, which we should all respect.
@@yengsabio5315 same here in Turkey 🇹🇷... you look after your parents when they are old this is expected of you
My mom went into a nursing home a bit over a week ago. It's a very bad place. She's post stroke and I was told she needed 24 hour care if she was to come home with me instead; at over $10k monthly I feel like there weren't any other options. At least at the nursing home she will get consistent rehab and I hope she gets well quickly. However everything else about it is horrible. Unclean conditions, missing full/entire days of giving her her blood pressure meds; it's been stressful and I can't imagine how all of this makes her feel. God bless everyone here that commented that they were honored and enjoyed their time being a caregiver. I must be in the minority in that although I want the best for my mom I am a bit horrified of the potential stress, commitment, possible safety issues that could happen, getting along, etc., after she does need to come to a home environment after she's done with rehab in the nursing home. I am her only and sole source of any type of support and I'm quite fearful. I know God doesn't give us a spirit of fear but it's hard thinking about all of the potential upcoming life changes. Again; I admire all that have happily been caretakers for family, friends and other loved ones...you are a source of motivation for me.
🙏🏼❤
@@icequeenspits Can you send me $4000 a month indefinitely for part time home care? Please tell me that is what you are going to do since you are apparently more concerned about my mothers welfare than I am. That would help a bit as I’d still have to find several thousand more dollars for full time care but I could probably make do with $4k. Because you just have missed the point where I mentioned how much all of this costs to bring her home. There is NO other support and I would have to bathe her, dress her, toilet her, take her to appointments, do exercises with her, prepare meals, clean up the incontinence accidents that happen almost daily, all while working a 50 hour work week. And can you come to watch her for me when I have to travel for work? Or at least find and pay for the care that’s needed anytime I have to do so? Do you even know how the system works for poor people who live in the US who end up having a stroke or some other unfortunate accident that leaves them needing 24 hour care? Unless you have the family support to take turns caring for that person in the home (doing all of the things I just mentioned) and/or the money for someone else to do it, you are screwed. I cannot bring her home right now and still work. I will lose my job caring for her. I literally moved states they day after I found out she had a stroke in order to be closer to her. I am talking to attorneys, have hired a social worker and I’m constantly at the nursing home being her only advocate. I literally had no choice of the home she got sent to after discharge-it was the only nursing home with a bed available that would take her because she has no insurance, no Medicaid, no house or assets or income or job or money whatsoever. That’s what landed us here and that is why I’m complaining about the nursing home..because I DO care and I want to get her out of there! As bad as the situation is I’m working every day to try to find a better home for her. Of course I wish she could come home with me but I am not trained to provide her with the level of supervision and care she needs and I love her too much to take a decision of bringing her home and ‘not’ being able to care for her like she needs lightly. This is a very serious and complex situation that you just jumped to conclusions about with literally 0 details. Try harder next time not to judge situations when you’re not the one that’s actually in them. SMH
@@icequeenspits Also go back and read my post. Where did I say I was her only child? I said I was her only source of support. She has another child. My sibling will not contact her..not even one time since the stroke. That sibling knows how hard it is dealing with someone like my mom who is very depressed, irritable, argumentative and likes to complain and even yell. She can’t help it and it’s not fun at all dealing with someone who has these issues but I am here trying to find a better home for her because despite all of this as I wouldn’t abandon her in the way my sibling has. And don’t get me wrong; I’m not even that mad at my sibling because this is not an easy thing to do at all and dealing with the personality issues makes it SO so much harder so I don’t even blame them really for disappearing in the middle of all of this.
Getting old is not for the faint of heart. I'm glad these places exist.
which ones?
In India also old parents like us stay at home with sons, daughter in laws and grandchildren. I'm 71 yrs not too much old.
That is sweet. You ARE still young 💕
@B Bush well...I am coming from MY perspective as a nurse. If you live to be 100, you have 29 yrs to go if you are 71 😊
Many of my patients live to their late 90s. But, I get ya. Life is about perspective, eh?
Yet the Indian immigrants in the west, who make more money than the native population and have more education, don't become vegan even when they were raised lacto-vegetarian and therefore never developed a taste for beef, pork, chicken, fish, or eggs. You don't become vegan because you only care about your own families. It's also why Indian immigrants donate blood or organs 8 times less than the native population. You'll only donate an organ to a family member. You only hire your own race. You don't care about strangers, only yourselves.
@B Bush Greenfield, Ohio ❤ I talked to a man from Vancouver last week (we purchased a 'Puller Bear' from him and started comparing Covid-19 experiences. I couldn't help myself (😊) to encourage them to take vitamins asap.
So, let me say this: I am blown away that my patients who were already on Vitamins D, C, and Zinc cruises through Covid with barely a symptom. Even if they had pre-existing conditions (diabetes) and were smokers.
Sadly, those who had not been on vitamins prior to Covid-19 became very ill... or passed.
Never have I witnessed anything like Covid.
@@moondog7694
That sounds like everybody.
The elderly care in the West are so EXPENSIVE, thats why. Thailand is much cheaper, that is the main reason.
From what I can see that is not the main reason.
Go into debt paying for crappy care in the west or get affordable high quality care in the east, that’s a no brainer. My 91-year-old Aunt has had Alzheimer’s for more than 15 years and the vast majority of that time she has not known who her husband or children are . She has been in a very nice and expensive care facility that specializes in Alzheimer’s patients. These facilities charge several thousand dollars more a month over what they collect from Social Security and Medicare and as nice and expensive as it is it’s still a hospital type setting and she must be checked up on constantly to make sure she’s getting the care and attention she needs. She has now outlived my uncle and her care has eaten through their very substantial retirement fund and her children are in now in their 60s and are using their retirement savings to pay for her long-term care.
The Thai people are so caring and respectful of older people. I hope my family would do the same for me.
@@bg588 because they get paid well. Nobody in the right mind would be happy to change someone's diapers.
@sneksnekitsasnek Because eventually the demands of their care become too much. My grandmother recently went into a home because my father and I were ill equipped to look after her. She needs care 24/7 as, like most Alzheimer’s and dementia patients, she no longer has a sleep pattern; she will be awake most of the night, wandering around throwing things, shouting, banging on doors and windows. She’s doubly incontinent and blind.
It’s not realistic to expect family members to care for loved ones in such situations. The family needs to sleep, work, live. This is why people pay for a team of people trained to care for the ill loved ones.
I don’t understand why relatives with loved ones with Alzheimer’s want them to “survive”? As soon as my dad lost it I wanted him to die. Solely for him, I wanted his suffering to end. He had no life of any kind whatsoever.
Hello, there! Greetings from Preston! Yes, they need someone they can trust, and that someone is the one who shows kindness to them. How are you doing? I hope you are fine and staying safe. Where are you from? I hope you don't mind me asking. It's not easy looking after the elderly, but we have to accept that it is worth it. Do you live around elderly people in your county?
I’ve been in the assisted living business in the U.S.; it’s heart-breaking. It’s very cold and institutionalized, and you have to watch, train and hire staff very carefully, weed out a lot of bad caregivers. But worse of all is memory care... It was a tragic purgatory of lost souls, and you were witness to the dissipation of their minds and to the dissolution of their bodies.
May the good Lord give you wisdom and strength
Hopefully many who "dump" their once loved ones" take these stories to heart.
Your first sentence says all that you you need to know, these are businesses, set up for the purpose of making as much profit as possible and in my experience, often the residents are regarded as an inconvenience. While there are some very caring staff members these are generally badly paid and in many cases not in their ideal job and I’m sure that many, given the opportunity, would rather be working elsewhere.
@@annafreed9932 While I share your sentiment and know that there are many out there who are selfish, uncaring, entitled and only too willing to ‘dump their once loved ones‘ there are also many who really have little choice other than to put their family members into some kind of a care home and often this will only be after much agonising.
Following the death of my mother, I became the sole carer for my father, who suffered with Lewy Body dementia, until his death some seven years later, I mourned his gradual passing every day of those seven years and sobbed many nights at the feeling of helplessness in preventing his inexorable slide into his eventual vegetative state. While I was willing and able to care for my father, I was only able to do so because I had retired from work at a relatively young age, was financially secure and having never married, did not have a wife and family demanding of my time, (my two brothers were not in similar positions) and so was able to ‘mothball’ my home in London and return to my family home for however long I was needed; unfortunately many (most) people do not have the luxury of the choice to care for a loved one that I did and are instead forced to resort to institutional care and for many this will probably be one of the the most difficult and painful decisions they will ever be called upon to make, particularly given the lamentable state of the profit-driven care system which exists in the UK today.
So I guess I am saying that the decision to institutionalise a loved one is not always made lightly and so perhaps we shouldn’t be too swift to judge, we cannot always know what has informed these decisions.
@@violentbuddhist I should not have eclipsed the good caregivers, the underpaid, the caring and hardworking. We need a better system.
What an incredible option. I wish we valued our elders in america
The best is start with it now and it will be best
there's no respect for anything here anymore...authority, elders, children, animals...
@Debra Charles good care is very expensive. These resorts look great. I would like retiring there.
Teach the children and grandchildren. My experience in the US, that the young generation doesn't think grandparents are part of the family. The youth is not interested in the history of their families with some exception.
@@ilonaandlivia Yes and I am American. We used to value our grandparents in the 50s. Mine gave me so much love and I returned it...I wish I could tell,them now as an adult,how I treasure them still.
Just because a care home looks like Paradise on the outside. It doesn’t mean the elderly are not being horribly abused. Do your research on ALL senior care homes.
Exactly people think Thai people are the another planet? Thai people selling kids for a couple of dollars, they eat wild animal because some places there no food. There are nature like another places it's.
@@kerlenaraujo6806 lol you are talking absurd and damn near nonsense. Thailand is not quite like Switzerland, but the country is not that poor and desperate. Their GDP is even higher than in some European countries.
@@LeonWagg so it doesn't mean people over there are aliens they are the planet that we .they do bad thing like another counties. By away I know Thailand and I'm living in Australia where a lot of Thai people who do not do good things .
@@kerlenaraujo6806 No, my point is that you portrayed Thailand as a barbaric nation where people eat wild animals because they are starving to death, which is something far from the truth. Yeah, Thailand is not perfect but don't spread your dumb racist stereotypes.
@@LeonWagg here we go everything is racist even when tell the true. I'm have much more experience with Thai people that you. You do think they are pure people in this planet? Its just Europeans lives out the reality. Come to Australia I can show there a lot of family had been destroyed by small young Thais girls with men 3 times older it's for money ,it's are very pure. Wow .
If you havnt lived it you dont know. Thailand is the best!! My wife is currently there after a serious stroke and the love and care she gets is out of this world. Im in NZ and we can communicate every day via line. God bless the people of thailand.!!
what are the logistics to put the love one in these facilities in terms of visa? How long can they stay and approx cost per year?
I just love the way people judge people from the sidelines .Beware of those that virtue signal from the naive comfort of ivory towers.Not my words by the way
you have a point Alonzo
Lonzo some of the critics are valid.
You made the right decision for your wife she's happy and well cared for. Love this model
When I was growing up in the 70s my mother was a nurse working for a nursing home. The stories she told of abuse to the elderly by angry aids mosly overnight was gruesome. She would tell of old people being slapped,hair pulled,and forced into cold shower. My mother couldnt take it anymore and talked to law enforcement. Long story short it ruined her career and she had to quit for death threats from the guilty aids and there were quite a few of them.
Seems like 45 years later nothing has changed. People are evil especially when no ones looking.
Egads. I would have thought things were great or at least normal in the good ole days.
You are so right, nothing has changed. I think of horror how my husband was mistreated. He was a Pastor for old people in other nursing homes, where he corrected much, then all of this happened to him. I took him home and nursed him here.
@@annafreed9932 You did the right thing ! Most of these places are SO inhumane ! I will leave the U. S. as soon as I can. Record numbers are doing just that.
So happy I stumbled on this video. Here in US had been quite a journey to have finally found a good nursing home for my Mother, who suffers from dementia. These are an inspiration for improving the nurse home environment everywhere.
Hello Cathy, Greetings from Preston is very sad to see old people being treated badly I agree with your comment thank God there is a place like this. How about you, how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe, where are you from home you don't mind me asking.
Proud to be an African.we take care of our elders,we learn a lot of things as their growing.
And I suppose you are proud of all the animal cruelty, corruption, lack of gay rights, lack of women's rights, lack of concern for strangers too? All of your empathy is directed at your own family members, which is why you have no empathy for non-kin/out-groups. Go read Jayman's blog. He is a black Jamaican and has written an article titled, "The Rise of Universalism".
@@moondog7694 , what you rattling bout bro ?
@@moondog7694 you are very mis-informed
@@moondog7694 who cares about "gay" rights?
@@moondog7694 Omg thank you! I've been thinking about the " non-kin/out-groups" dynamic a lot recently and how it has been the source of a lot of problems in this world. I never knew there was a word for the opposite of it. Universalism! I will take a look at the Jamaican's piece now. Thanks!
Imagine how nice and good we wanted to be treated at our old age.. And do the same to your parents... "God bless all"🙏
@Ech hunn dech gär. Sorry to hear this.. Anyway she is your mom.. If you ask me..l'll ask you to Be more patient and show only love towards her.. Soon she'll change... Give love and love comes back to you.. Why I'm telling this to u... Even to hate me like this.. I don't have a mom.. It's a precious gift of God.. Be kind with her..
So sad, I admire these people who take care of their moms. We only have one. I wish I had one.
One of the hardest things i have ever done, taking care of my mother as she has declined from Alzheimer's Dementia. Also hard, are all the people, who are rarely present, who have misconceptions of the process of the disease and the stress and pressure it has on the caretaker. They often feel they have the right to criticize and give unsolicited advice.
Laura you are so right! If they haven't walked in your shoes they DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT. My son and I cared for my Dad who had Alzheimers. He's been gone over 12 years I'm still hearing from family members about what we should have done better 🤪. Unfortunately advice, doesn't help, with care or visits.
All of you that are making these comments (but aren't in the same place) don't know what you would do. Really you don't. It is a VERY DIFFICULT place to be.
My mom is taking care of my dad and it's killing her.
Hello Laura, Greetings from Preston is very sad to see old people being treated badly I agree with your comment thank God there is a place like this. How about you, how are you doing hope you are fine and staying safe, where are you from home you don't mind me asking.
@@lf9038 Can you get any help with this,so that your mom had a break each week at least. Like in - home care for the state ? Your dad could be eligible, and it's way cheaper to have in - home care,than a nursing home.
It's wonderful how the Thailand people really take such wonderful care of elderly
In front of the camera
They are not all wonderful.
Mmm.. la familia ..
I can care them because I love them
I'm shocked we can not take care of our old parents who took care of us from childhood. I took care of my father until he passed away at age 96 and my mother passed away at age 66. I enjoyed serving them 24hoirs. I really miss them.
guess you loved their pension check monthly as well!
Why are people so judgemental?! There are situations that people can't handle and there is no shame in that!
I'm glad you had the financial resources to be able to quite your job and care for them. Not everyone has the resources available.
If you have money to keep your love one in care centre... why dont you use the money to take care them in your one home?
My mom lived with Alzheimer’s for 10 years. As someone said in the video it was very hard on her because she knew what was coming. Then it became hard for my dad and my siblings and of course for me. We kept her in her home for 8 of those years but then it became impossible and unsafe for her. My sister and I or my dad took shifts so she wasn’t alone and it was still so very hard. She couldn’t walk anymore but she couldn’t remember she couldn’t walk and had many falls. She was incontinent and had to be in a lift for any kind of transfer . She was terrified or angry. It was a relief when she died . I know how cruel that sounds but it was the best outcome.I wish our culture was more like the Asian one that respects their elderly
It's not about money, it's about time you have to invest, too. I have family member with dementia. They need survey 24/7. We have 2 nurses that watch her in 2 shifts. They are a bit cold and distant compared to this ppl in vid. We didn't want to take her out of her home, so at first we took some time off work to be with her. It was really hard because you can see how they suffer and you can't help. I wish we could take her to paradise like this in vid.
My grandfather's wife (not my grandma) used to go to the neighbors house and say my grandfather was holding her hostage (and the house they lived in was the house she had previously) and she would carry around a knife and threaten him, yeah so easy to care for in the home
"Its a sad throwaway culture we live in."
-Trevor Phillips(Gta V)
l'm Okay I understand. We abort millions of babies each year.
Yes you right
People do what theu have to do. Volunteer to help the families.
Countries outside the west treat animals, gays, people of other races, and non-family members as throwaways. Go read up on HBD Chick's writings in Jayman's article "The Rise of Universalism". There is a lot of tolerance of animal cruelty and pet neglect outside the west. Winston of SerpentZA has made many videos about human strangers and animals being of no worth or consideration in the non-Western country he made a video about. It is true for all countries outside the Hajnal Line.
And they are considering robotic care givers for the future.... what a good conversation that will be for the cared for !!!
Glad even as a disabled with nobody believing that i make it, it was a great decision to come here by myself. I don’t need a caretaker yet, but many people offer to help me. Elderly and disabled are just normal humans here. Not always felt like that in Europe