@@A---BMaitriSarkar if you think its not easy to communicate with someone, either dont get into relationships, or break up with them. communication is easy. it should always be easy.
I feel like we gaslight ourselves when it comes to situationships, we lower our standard a lot and let sooo much slide but we excuse it with “maybe my expectations are too high and this is as good as it gets “ when in fact, not communication, ghosting and not commitment are all HUGE red flags.
And apparently people don’t know how to communicate their feelings. Like this whole dramatic situationship thing wouldn’t exist if gen Z just knew how to COMMUNICATE. But we’re all so scared we’re gonna ruin it and then later complain as if we didn’t set ourselves up for heartbreak 🤡💀
i think being available is being approachable. you can be available and not obsessed. you dont have to cancel your plans. you can find a comprise. that's what i call a healthy relationship
For all of u doing it ...doing this might make u more emotionally attached to the person and put them on a pedestal....i suggest being self aware when u start thinking of them and changing ur thoughts...idk ik it's hard but i have become good at it ...i usually thinks of different scenarios and characters instead of the person.
"Don't romanticize talking stage". Oh my god this hit me so hard right before going out. It gave me slightly anxiety but definitely put my feet on the ground again. Thanks.
When I was in the talking stage with my boyfriend, we didn’t flirt or anything, but we talked to each other like friends and found our humor and principles of life were so very similar that it developed into a relationship (eventually). So, my thing is that if you start out as friends instead of looking for something more, maybe it’ll work out. It’s not for everyone, but it worked for me and my and my boyfriend have been together for a year now
I agree 100%! My daughter's father and I were friends for 2 years before we started dating and we were together for 6 years and then that ended because we were high school sweethearts and we just grew apart. I have been with the guy I'm with now for 11 years and we were also friends for a year before we started dating. So being friends in the beginning is key! In both relationships we were both not looking for anything more so it eventually became a relationship just like you said. Both relationships were very good relationships.
@@pyxn420 just talk about life. What's going on currently. What things are fun to do. Religion. Politics. Stories of life. Just talk like friends. Romance will grow naturally.
It doesn't have to be this difficult, you guys. Especially the available thing - if you're free, you're free, and if you're busy, you're busy. Dont cancel plans and put life on hold for a person you have been dating for a week, but don't purposefully avoid seeing them. That is fruatrating for everyone. The whole point of dating is feeling someone out, and I think people have become uncomfortable with this part of a relationship. There are no set rules regarding how long the dating phase lasts. Also, I like how Rebal says available (availeybowl).
The problem is we all seem to be a little too free due to internet addiction. We get addicted to shorts because they are designed that way, spend few hours wasting by just scrolling through and then feel bad and repeat the cycle again. Anyone who is taking control of their life or just Neurodivergent/Austistic/ ADHD please dont use tiktok Or insta shorts and what not. It's literally killing your life away. And i say this while knowing I will again continue the cycle because I have low self control
I think he meant it in a way that you have to keep yourself busy. Do not be readily available not because you are ghosting the person or manipulating but because you have your own life and is busy with your own thing. Do not make your significant partner your everything that the whole world revolves around them. That's when you get crazy with every single detail. "why hasn't he texted me? Why we haven't seen each other in a long time? UWU" If you are busy with yourself, you have a life, you have friends, work, business, family... having a significant other just adds value to the life you already have. They are not your universe. The significant other will definitely respect your time. Will make the time you spend together even more special because it makes them special that you take the time out of your busy day to be with them. You aren't desperate. When I met my husband, my life was almost full. He was the missing piece, that I didn't even know was missing but now know was an important piece.
I think you should always, in whatever stage of the ship u are in, even friends, you need to set boundaries and not let them overpass and slide with it
Situationships always sound like such a chore, I don’t know how people do it. For the being available being a red flag I think it’s more about like you said canceling plans with others for someone you don’t even know if they’re going to stick around and giving all of your time, like don’t you have hobbies, friends, school, or work? You’re pouring too much of yourself into them.
They really do. I was so depressed for months because when we broke up we literally still liked each other its just he was just genuinely in a bad place and never really communicated vulnerable emotions to me and just wouldn't open up so i had enough of it an called it quits ever since he'd really opened up, we became friends again, until a couple of months ago, we haven't talked since we messaged briefly him: Hey how have you been? good, you? him: ive been fine I sent something after that but it was just read so i deleted it and we haven't talked since, we were so cose before we dated so something tells me he's just bottling up his feelings again. i feel bad but until he has the courage to confront me and we can talk things through and really have an emotional heart felt conversation i'm not running back, im working on myself and it's been hard but I've never been so me and free before 😊
I think my explanation to "Don't be available" is not ghosting the person, or being mysterious, it's more close to you focusing on yourself and your own progress and growth instead of messing up your life or interrupting your daily life, stopping you from being a better you. A healthy relationship should be beneficial for both.
Mine was a year situationship, i got into a real relationship his ass is back want to be serious.. im just laughing at him like please you fumbled when you had your chance.
My rules for situationships/dating in general are 1. I only talk to people that I have a romantic interest in. I avoid everyone else, because I am okay being played by someone I wanted first. I am not trying to get played by someone I did not even like to begin with. 2. Within a month, I gauge whether the person is reciprocating interest or not, if yes I go ahead and confess my feelings and announce my intention to date. If it works, it works. If it does not, bye. This approach has allowed be to me to have 2 very beautiful and meaningful realtionships that I will cherish forever.
My situationship turned into a relationship. Lasted one month. Finding it ideal that my partner be my best friend does not equal my actual best friend being my ideal partner. Don't get me wrong, I was at fault too. Very apparent when here I am wanting to be in the situationship with him again. Being an anxious avoidant is tough, especially with an anxious preoccupied partner. 😬😭
Before the expectation that your friends should say what we want them to say, that’s what friends were for. To tell you that you’re being foolish with someone.
the thing that made me happy this week is me completing my whole damn syllabus and I solved all physics questions accurately thank you for asking rebal
I already went through 3 'situationships' and I by no means am proud of it at all. It was a huge waste of time and energy (and not to mention how mentally draining it felt) for everyone involved. The moment I deleted tiktok to avoid those "relatable situationship" posts is when I realized how much it really alters our generations perspective of relationships and how it affects people in the long run. Being unofficial with another person was just setting myself up for heartbreak, and I did so multiple times now apparently. I learned my lesson, will never recommend anyone to be in a situationship 🤷🏻♀️
Delusionship is basically you being delusional about having a romantic connection with someone without ANY signs of reciprocation Infatuationship is the previous but you're even more invested -infatuated- Situationship is an unofficial relationship. You basically act like lovers and might even be exclusive BUT they can ghost/leave you or even get with someone at any time and it won't even be considered a breakup cuz "we weren't official anyway" Frustrationship is a situationship that barely advances and leaves you questioning and confused. Maybe they keep leaving but always return too Imaginationship is a relationship you've built in your head. The difference between a delusionship and this is that in the imaginationship there IS something between you and this person, but it's barely something solid and you build it up to a fullblown relationship That's what my understanding of these terms is
Situationships seem so silly, just stop. If you want a label, say it. Don’t give people relationship privileges without being in an actual relationship. It all seems like self sabotage.
I’m glad I’m not only one asking and wondering wtf people are going through?! Why does it seem like EVERYONE’s in love or hurting from a relationship right now😵💫
my last relationship ended because they were too busy with academic stuff and couldnt fully commit to the relationship. while i was deeply in love with them and being all romantic and wanting to spend the rest of our lives together and planning our future, they were just casual, enjoying our time together and having fun. yes, they liked me, we didnt have any conflicts, but academics were more important for them and thats okay. this relationship taught me that being on the same level and loving each other the same amount is important.
It's how an actual person with eyes and a complete brain didn't see how much of a perfect gem Rebal is and treated him as a "nothingship" that's unbelievable to me💀💀
I once was in a similar situation where I was getting mixed signals.. earlier I felt he was too shy maybe but later on I took Matter into my hands, and asked him directly, from that he couldn't escape, even then he was making excuses just to stay in my life but I confronted him with what I wanted from him. And he said he can't fully do that. I said ok never mind goodbye... That's the best thing I did for myself and I still feel proud... ❤️
I never want it to be a situationship. I am just kind and empathetic and presenting my best side to a person I like. And everything goes well, we talk about different things, flirt etc, but suddenly they just ghost me after most random normal message. Why do people do this? I genuinely wanna know
From my POV, people who ghost are afraid of responsibility. They will usually use the line_"I don't like people expecting from me." Now,at first you might think they are talking about serious expectations like buying you gifts, showing up for you daily in some way, etc. But later, you understand that even though you expected nothing except the bare minimum(to put it very lightly), they still ghosted you. People who ghost have no sense of accountability. Or perhaps, they are avoidant of their own emotions. There are people who hardly sit with their feelings and understand themselves.. These people naturally run away once they feel the potential of something serious. Also, there are people who are too afraid to be honest about the fact that they lost interest/found someone else/whatever. So, they disappear. So, don't beat yourself up if you have been ghosted. (Whoever is reading this). Respect the wishes of the dead. Celebrate the fact that you dodged a coward who could have abandoned you easily if they ever became a part of your life. Good riddance.
When I was a kid, it was called "talking." The pre-relationship stage. As in - 'you're talking about a relationship & talking to get to know each other.'
@Tristan for example for me, i was in one. a situationship is like where you’re in an undefined relationship. so, you seem to be touchy. loving, close with each other, do things couples do but you and the other person aren’t in a actual relationship, committed relationship.
Being available for one person when you really are busy is a red flag however being busy ALL THE TIME that you don't spend any time with the other one is also a red flag.
From my POV, people who ghost are afraid of responsibility. They will usually use the line_"I don't like people expecting from me." Now,at first you might think they are talking about serious expectations like buying you gifts, showing up for you daily in some way, etc. But later, you understand that even though you expected nothing except the bare minimum(to put it very lightly), they still ghosted you. People who ghost have no sense of accountability. Or perhaps, they are avoidant of their own emotions. There are people who hardly sit with their feelings and understand themselves.. These people naturally run away once they feel the potential of something serious. Also, there are people who are too afraid to be honest about the fact that they lost interest/found someone else/whatever. So, they disappear. So, don't beat yourself up if you have been ghosted. (Whoever is reading this). Respect the wishes of the dead. Celebrate the fact that you dodged a coward who could have abandoned you easily if they ever became a part of your life. Good riddance.
Or maybe they just don’t really want you, it’s not that deep nobody owes u anything (just have to accept this really, no need to overanalyze other people unless ur their therapist)
No omd this actually described me on a personal level back when I first started dating (im not trying to say it's a good thing) It's really just due to insecurities, I never felt like I won the person over for who I really was and I was afraid if I revealed too much of myself they'll not truly like me anymore so being an immature idiot that I was, I ghosted a lot of people-even people who were actually interested in me. So, if you are having experiences with someone like this just know it is absolutely not your fault, it's their own stupid insecurities that did that to the relationship
Situationships are good teaching moments (as awful as it feels...) I've learned to be more firm with my boundaries and to not feel guilty when I'm uncomfortable with something the other person is pushing for. And you learn to recognize red flags a lot more early on instead of turning a blind eye or making up excuses. Now relationships are black or white for me. You are either interested in dating me seriously or we're just gonna be friends, no in-between because I don't want to act and be treated like your girlfriend while you're still looking around giving the same treatment to other girls. A good friend of mine told me "Don't pour buckets that aren't refilling you." And I'm gonna try and follow that.. BUT I'm still mad that I got played by someone I wasn't interested in in the first place!🥴🙄😂
going with the flow really only works if you flow well ON YOUR OWN! if you're insecure about being alone or doing things by yourself, you'll be searching to hop on someone elses flow which a lot of times is not the flow for you. so before you go with the flow, take some time where you ground yourself in your own self-love. if you're reading this, you are so loved and worth it! you are an amazing human and you don't need to dim your light for anyone!!!
the "don't be too available" rule makes sense to me.. I like being in the moment and really be present. If the dude is counting the number of hours it took me to answer their boring text well he is weeding himself out at this point
I have one basic rule. Respect my boundaries. Doesn't matter if it's something small, like giving me space (I get overwhelmed pretty easily) or something big, like taking a no for a no. Apparently, this already is a challenge for some people because I haven't found one person that didn't try to push me in a specific direction - may it be in subtle ways or by crude manipulation lol
Heyyyyy Rebal D lol I'm 26 years old & from Australia 🇦🇺 I can relate with you sooooooo much and I literally view you as a family member that's how close I feel to you when I'm watching your videos. You gave a solid set of rules at the end, 100% agree with all of them. All of your rules will make for a happier, healthier relationship & I love self reflection, it helped me to grow through my long term toxic relationship. I am now in a healthy relationship and I literally did not believe i could be loved by any man until this relationship. Love is limitless, never lose hope but never go searching :) I wish you nothing but the best Mr.Rebal D lol thanks for being just a cool guy lol and yeah love your work!!! ❤
Jesus I'm glad I'm married now😂 I'm 27 and before I got married 6 yrs ago I had a situationship that completely messed my perception of a healthy relationship and boundaries.... everyone deserves better than a situationship❤
I think what’s actually wrong with being available is that you end up not having a life of your own. I mean I had this too at some point and it really throws people off AND you end up lost after that person. So it’s really important to remember that they’re just a tiny part of your life and that you have more important things to do than to be there for them all the time. It’s called self respect ✊
I literally just realized that my last relationship was a situationship... I wasn't ready for anything with a title and was too scared to tell him I wasn't feeling it anymore. I was so scared he'd hate me and all my friends would leave me too that I let it drag on. (He was friends with all of them first.) He also had his problems and there was just no communication. Something I learned from that experience was that it's okay to not be ready for something, it actually starts to be a problem when you both deny acknowledging it hoping it will get better or you'll get used to it.
My Talking Stage Rules: - Consistent communication, effort and interest from their side - I should feel a strong pull towards them not only emotional attraction wise but also based on our values and lifestyles, I should find them attractive. - I should find them physically attractive, and feel like they find me physically attractive - There shouldn’t be any RED flags and if there are then they should be discussed, if they’re non-negotiable then it’s time to say goodbye and wish them a good blessed life - they should know how to converse and keep me interested - I should feel respected by them - I should feel liked by them - I should respect them - I should like them - I should not like them for their potential - I should not feel a huge power difference - I should not feel the urge to save them - I should not question my worth or feel insecure around them - I should feel like more of the receiver, I deserve gentle princess treatment
About the “staying busy”: Being available is not at all bad. It’s only bad within a relationship when you have no friends and no hobbies to do. You need to make sure you can function outside of just being with your partner, doing things you enjoy and having a strong support system. _However_ it’s also incredibly important to _make_ time for your spouse. (Free time will not come on its own). How much time that is, you’ve got to communicate. For some relationships, little time is fine. For others, a lot of time is necessary. There’s no right answer. Everyone is different and valid. Nonetheless, that time _needs_ to be there somewhere. Not having quality time is one of the biggest killers of relationships, and why people feel like they “fall out in love.” In fact, in many cases, cheating also comes out of not spending enough quality time with each other. -My credentials are 1) previously being in a very toxic relationship and 2) eventually finding the right person + therapy and being in a loving marriage :) Anyways, Rebal, great video as always!
Self-control, set boundaries, put urself feelings first, don't ever go back. I agree on that don't be available all the time, try be busy, there're many more meaningful things in life u can do for ur own good.
This is correct, I learnt self worth after a situationship dragging on for 2 years.... I've been single ever since, I've lost all hope and tolerance for BS.... halp 😂😂😂😂😂
"Don't be available" can be a double-edged sword. It may bring you closer to the other person or it can just piss you off and you leave. I guess reasons why you're busy are important, like school, work, plan with your family/friends etc.
my talking/early dating phase rules: 1) the most important rule is don't romanticize the other person or what could be between the two of you in early talking stages, lhm is this ever a risky and potentially heartbreaking thing to do 2) commit to loving or at least respecting yourself before committing to loving someone else. 3) head first is always safer than heart first, even if it's not as fun or pretty. 3) your sleep, personal boundaries, and alone time are still important. don't let someone guilt trip you into thinking that it's selfish or prudish. or that you owe it to them 😑🙄 4) don't skip responsibilities for them. they're not going to earn your degree or pay yourbills. nor will they fix friendships or family relationships if you abandon those. 5) if it doesn't feel right with them even after you've communicated your wants and needs openly, it's not right. 6) if you notice a pattern of their ugly behavior, don't try to convince them over and over to be a different person or better person. leave them behind because you're better off without that negativity and pain. 7) don't settle and don't be settled on. you are more than a fk buddy, and you deserve to be loved for who you are, not just physically. you deserve to be with someone who wants you and isn't using you as a holdover or backup. no fkng thanks.
that being said, i am delu when it comes to you and idk why 🤡❤ u are annoyingly attractive inside and out. it frustrates me greatly but i can't get enough of u for some reason 🙂🙃
Love the gentle bullying bestie 😂 Something I've definitely learned after reflecting on myself in situationships is to not open up to someone too fast. Pace can be a difficult thing but I've noticed it can come naturally with the right people 🤔
Personally I think it’s all about how available you are. Nothing wrong with being there for them or not being that busy. I think the problem starts when u cancel all your plans just to be with them. Or when you try to change your whole schedule to make sure they get the most importance. You can still do things that u need to do and still be a available.
I used to watch Rebal when I was single Pringle and snacking on sweets💀... Now I watch him while dating a great chef. So therefore he can no longer 'bully' me about being single 🤣🤣🤣
I find this to be most helpful in th talking phases and whatnot and to see if you actually want a relationship with that person/if they want one with you: If you have a mental illness, say so in the beginning. Let's say you have severe depression, that other person has to be willing/able to help you at your low points and whatnot. If they can't handle it/if they start diagnosing you with other stuff when you don't ask for it, don't be with them (from personal experience, it ends extremely bad)
I have been in so many situationships and I hated it. Everytime I date and thought I might have a bf but then to realize nah the guys finally showed their red flags
Went through a situationship, out of it now and fully moved on 🙏 A couple things I learned were to set boundaries, don't lower your standards, and stand up for yourself. Know when to let things go. If you feel mentally checked out, or you don't like the person anymore, don't cling on with the hopes that they'll change, or that somehow things will magically work out. Also, listen to your friends. They can offer a much clearer perspective on things because they're not seeing through an emotional lens. If you know that friend cares about you, and you can trust them, take their advice on this one. Most importantly, know that it's not the end for you. There are good people out there, even if they might be hard to find 😅 You'll find that someone, just be patient 💕 I hope this helps, stay safe and take care everyone 🫂
relationship seems scary when you're still in college and have trouble interpreting others emotions (im tsa btw), i learned that commitment is scary but i think it can be sweet too. maybe we just have to be more confident or sure of our emotions before starting something with someone?
I think the whole "don't be so available" is taking time for yourself as well. When you become so hooked and dependant on that person, you tend to put that person before yourself. Taking time for yourself even if they text you can be a form of self love. Keep progressing in yourself and doing the things you enjoy... don't stop for them entirely. If you have to do that just to cater for them in your life, that's a red flag in my opinion.
You know, I've never really been in a situationship, but I'm happily in a relationship right now (it'll be 2 years in 2 months!) and the best advice I can give for any healthy relationship is communication. I was also friends with my partner for years before we started dating (granted we're both demi) but I truly believe being friends with someone before you give a relationship a go is one of the best ways to know you're both on the same page. None of this "talk for three months minimum or else" crap. Try to give it more time so you can really get to know each other. That way you two won't be super into each other only to realize you both want different things in the future that aren't compatible. Then you both avoid that heartbreak entirely. Edit: I do think having enough time to get to know each other is important, but I also wanted to say that the "put a deadline on it" point Rebal made is good too. Don't cling to something you can't ever see happening/see happening in many years. There are other people out there for you, boo. However long it takes, I guess what I'm trying to say is just be upfront with your partner about what you both want so that there's no future surprises that drive you both apart.
Idk if Rebald will ever see it but thank you! Its been a month since me and my almost something broke things off. Jokes aside, I am a bit upset me and him couldn’t work things out but you made me realize that I wasn’t the only one being the problem on the relationship, I was always blaming myself for it, he also had red flags. Thanks Rebald!! Lotz of love, this vid made me realize im not alone bc I just couldn’t relate to a bunch of bad advice from the internet who went through bad talking stages. Again thank you!! 💖💖🎉
I got ghosted this year by someone who wanted me first and now that I’m over it you made this video 😂 thank you for choosing this as your new video script this was amazing 😻 😂
Honestly both rules make sense. I think we can sometimes confuse honesty and being straight forward with coming off as desperate or naive but if there is one thing I learnt is how much that helps you later on. If you have been genuine, trust me, no matter what the other person says or does, you walk out of it winning. It helps build your character and you later on realize that the person was a reason for me to learn all these new things about myself that I didn't know or perhaps avoided this whole time. I think what matters the most is to be content with yourself. When you walk into a talking stage fully convinced that you will be good with them or without them, things take an interesting turn and whatever happens next is a learning experience. If you can't be with someone who doesn't treat you as well as you treat yourself (or at least try), then you're better off without them. Loved the video!
This is why the second I found out I liked a guy I asked him out. Been dating for 3 years now. I can't handle the "what are we" kind of relationship especially when they last more then a month or two.
No one wants to admit it because it hurts but situationships are normally a relationship where one of the people involved is willing to be physically intimate with the other person but openly refuses to acknowledge any kind of emotional responsibility for anything they consciously do or don't do that might be morally questionable. It's basically a cop out for narcissistic abuse and just shitty behaviour. I don't know why we normalised it but we shouldn't. It leaves a lot of people confused and hurt.
I’m available all the time because I don’t have any other plans anyway. Honestly I’m not going to be in a situationship or relationship anytime soon because I like my alone time and if i’m bored I can just go meet my family or friends.
I clicked on this for the title alone. I literally just ended my eight month Situationship because a friend finally told me how he felt and I was tired of being considered a “friend” to the guy I was trying to get with. but of course, now that I’m moving on he’s trying to say oh I love you and I was about to get serious like right now, but “[I] started moving on” 🤣 I believe this generation hold some of the most emotionally toxic people 🙃🤣
not communicating drives me absolutely crazy lmao, i knew this person for a little bit and after it started getting flirty i was just like "do you think we might end up as more btw?" and they said yes like 😭 talking about your feelings isnt always as scary as it seems i promise, our relationship is a million times more comfortable being transparent about it
One of my talking stage rule is to become friends first/get to know them. I know it's such an obvious rule but oftentimes when you meet someone new, everything seems great, you know with all the hormones and chemicals, you can't really tell what's real or not. So taking the time to get to know each other, minus anything physical, really helps create a clear path.
you don't owe them your time, energy or loyalty if they're not giving you anything in return. relationships of any kind are a two way street so it's important to recognise your own value and worth, and not try and overcompensate in an almost relationship with someone that just takes you for granted. your energy and love are beautiful and precious and we all deserve someone who recognises that 🥰
I love you Rebal. You literally make my day whenever you post a video, right now my life's a living hell, nothing's right, had a huge heartbreak few months back and I've kinda lost the will to live but everytime I watch your videos I feel like you're right here and you've got my back. Thanks for making me smile ❤️
I’ve been in long term relationships and one thing that always keeps the ball moving is to keep tension between the two parties. So like long eye contact, not giving too much of your life story away, yes not being too available, joking around and teasing… showing each other that you’re okay with or without them, self security etc this should be the basis. So be mysterious in a fun way? If you give too much away you give away too soon that you’re just a regular person or a person who is desperate.. you wanna keep that tension and that fantasy by staying mysterious.. also some soft drama didn’t hurt anyone if anything it caused more tension, for example if a guy or girl hits on one of you and then jealousy begins, sheesh 🥵 that when it really starts the momentum… My relationships ended when one of us became too needy because we sort of depended on eachother at some point and then it’s not fun anymore because it’s not natural, it’s forced… but I always got them back because I pulled the energy back and put it back on me. For any relationship to thrive it must be two whole people and not two halves of that makes sense 🤣 and happy fulfilled secure people are always super attractive and there’s a massive chance the ex will come back when you’ve reached that stage. They can feel the shift is not on them anymore it’s on you. I speak from experience, when you start focusing on yourself and your own happiness they want to eat you up LOL But (sometimes) it’s easier said than done, sometimes the failed relationships are necessary so we know where we’re going wrong and what we don’t want. This is just my experience but I have enough experience to know that it works everytime and my friends told me too. 😂 use at your own risk
I honestly like/love people who are available- well when u say obsessive- idrc sounds good to me❤ I’ve managed to be able to completely cut my emotions off and look at them different
*Share some of your own "Talking Stage" rules bestie!*
and get you some merch: rebal-d.myshopify.com/ 😍
IM FIRST BESTIE
Heyyyy bestie 😅❤
ive never entered one-💀🏃♀️
Hiii bestieee
Hey
Imagine if people just communicated properly with each other instead of commenting how they feel on tik tok 💀
We gotta wait a few more years
Cause it's always not that easy to communicate.
@@z3onix being a nice person will be on trend for a couple of weeks and turn into a fad ☠️
@@z3onix definitely will get worse in a few years. So we better not wait lmfao
@@A---BMaitriSarkar if you think its not easy to communicate with someone, either dont get into relationships, or break up with them. communication is easy. it should always be easy.
I feel like we gaslight ourselves when it comes to situationships, we lower our standard a lot and let sooo much slide but we excuse it with “maybe my expectations are too high and this is as good as it gets “ when in fact, not communication, ghosting and not commitment are all HUGE red flags.
fax
facts
You’re the first person that bullied me today, Rebal. Thank you very much.
count me in
Out of all people I will only let Rebal bully me.
@@skullchimes Because you know deep in his heart he cares about you👍
😂😂😂😂😂girl bye
I'm standing in the middle of my kitchen laughing my ass off help
rule 1. you should not be afraid of talking about what's going on between you two. communication is the key
Yeah no if someone's upset that'll just be like talking to a brick wall
I like how Rebal D is able to mix fun and roasting with giving ACTUALLY USEFUL lessons and teaching us about life.
Love it
Fr like I wasn’t expecting him to actually give us soild advice likeeee
Rebal is the best periodt.
fr he bullies us but i can literally laugh about it bc i also know how nice he is
"Availuable" became adorable the more I heard it.
Yeah😂❤
TikTok is ruining this generation. It's toxic and people make others doubt their own relationships after watching any sort of tiktok like this.
EXACTLY THANK YOU
Bravo. Completely true.
@@kristinalevang9530 and what is the fault of normal healthy couples questioning their own relationship even though it's ok??
And apparently people don’t know how to communicate their feelings. Like this whole dramatic situationship thing wouldn’t exist if gen Z just knew how to COMMUNICATE. But we’re all so scared we’re gonna ruin it and then later complain as if we didn’t set ourselves up for heartbreak 🤡💀
@@udontevenwannaknowbruv exactly, and then use the “im afraid of confrontation” excuse. like prepare for a life of pain then 💀
i think being available is being approachable. you can be available and not obsessed. you dont have to cancel your plans. you can find a comprise. that's what i call a healthy relationship
Currently in my "making up scenarios from romantic novels in my head before going to sleep" - ship
Samee
Same here 👾
Stawp same 💀
For all of u doing it ...doing this might make u more emotionally attached to the person and put them on a pedestal....i suggest being self aware when u start thinking of them and changing ur thoughts...idk ik it's hard but i have become good at it ...i usually thinks of different scenarios and characters instead of the person.
@I love Senseiussy yeah they're talking about fictional characters, not real people. Good advice though.
bro roasted, gave advice and comforted at the same time. we love multitaskers
"Don't romanticize talking stage". Oh my god this hit me so hard right before going out. It gave me slightly anxiety but definitely put my feet on the ground again. Thanks.
Am.humbled 😂
Same for me
When I was in the talking stage with my boyfriend, we didn’t flirt or anything, but we talked to each other like friends and found our humor and principles of life were so very similar that it developed into a relationship (eventually). So, my thing is that if you start out as friends instead of looking for something more, maybe it’ll work out. It’s not for everyone, but it worked for me and my and my boyfriend have been together for a year now
Examples of principles of life?
I agree 100%! My daughter's father and I were friends for 2 years before we started dating and we were together for 6 years and then that ended because we were high school sweethearts and we just grew apart. I have been with the guy I'm with now for 11 years and we were also friends for a year before we started dating. So being friends in the beginning is key! In both relationships we were both not looking for anything more so it eventually became a relationship just like you said. Both relationships were very good relationships.
Sameeee
@@pyxn420 just talk about life. What's going on currently. What things are fun to do. Religion. Politics. Stories of life. Just talk like friends. Romance will grow naturally.
@@honeyy9559 I think they meant like common values or something, I was asking for those
Rebal is the bestie we all dream to get or want.🏃♀️
Fr
so true
Nah no bestie I need me a bf like him 😂
we should strive to be that bestie too
He is like my high school bestie. She was hilarious if you gave her the moment to be herself. She is almost a reballia 😅
It's hard letting go when you feel like this person is the best thing that ever happened to you
If you like it, you should put a ring on it.
It doesn't have to be this difficult, you guys. Especially the available thing - if you're free, you're free, and if you're busy, you're busy. Dont cancel plans and put life on hold for a person you have been dating for a week, but don't purposefully avoid seeing them. That is fruatrating for everyone. The whole point of dating is feeling someone out, and I think people have become uncomfortable with this part of a relationship. There are no set rules regarding how long the dating phase lasts.
Also, I like how Rebal says available (availeybowl).
I kept wondering if he was saying it like that as a joke or for real... 😂
The problem is we all seem to be a little too free due to internet addiction. We get addicted to shorts because they are designed that way, spend few hours wasting by just scrolling through and then feel bad and repeat the cycle again. Anyone who is taking control of their life or just Neurodivergent/Austistic/ ADHD please dont use tiktok Or insta shorts and what not. It's literally killing your life away. And i say this while knowing I will again continue the cycle because I have low self control
I think he meant it in a way that you have to keep yourself busy. Do not be readily available not because you are ghosting the person or manipulating but because you have your own life and is busy with your own thing. Do not make your significant partner your everything that the whole world revolves around them. That's when you get crazy with every single detail. "why hasn't he texted me? Why we haven't seen each other in a long time? UWU" If you are busy with yourself, you have a life, you have friends, work, business, family... having a significant other just adds value to the life you already have. They are not your universe. The significant other will definitely respect your time. Will make the time you spend together even more special because it makes them special that you take the time out of your busy day to be with them. You aren't desperate. When I met my husband, my life was almost full. He was the missing piece, that I didn't even know was missing but now know was an important piece.
I think you should always, in whatever stage of the ship u are in, even friends, you need to set boundaries and not let them overpass and slide with it
Situationships always sound like such a chore, I don’t know how people do it.
For the being available being a red flag I think it’s more about like you said canceling plans with others for someone you don’t even know if they’re going to stick around and giving all of your time, like don’t you have hobbies, friends, school, or work? You’re pouring too much of yourself into them.
Right! The constant worry about if the person likes you enough or not.
I agree. It’s not worth it imo
im saying what is this mess
They really do. I was so depressed for months because when we broke up we literally still liked each other its just he was just genuinely in a bad place and never really communicated vulnerable emotions to me and just wouldn't open up so i had enough of it an called it quits ever since he'd really opened up, we became friends again, until a couple of months ago, we haven't talked since we messaged briefly
him: Hey how have you been?
good, you?
him: ive been fine
I sent something after that but it was just read so i deleted it and we haven't talked since, we were so cose before we dated so something tells me he's just bottling up his feelings again. i feel bad but until he has the courage to confront me and we can talk things through and really have an emotional heart felt conversation i'm not running back, im working on myself and it's been hard but I've never been so me and free before 😊
@@alittleofeverything.9581 AS a person in a situationship. MANIFESTING is my bestfriend. It works.
I think my explanation to "Don't be available" is not ghosting the person, or being mysterious, it's more close to you focusing on yourself and your own progress and growth instead of messing up your life or interrupting your daily life, stopping you from being a better you. A healthy relationship should be beneficial for both.
I had a situationship for 3 years and finally decided to stop being used by someone who doesn’t deserve me😂 and now I’m a real relationship 😊
Mine was a year situationship, i got into a real relationship his ass is back want to be serious.. im just laughing at him like please you fumbled when you had your chance.
how could you be able handle for years , i cant even handle 1 day , if he didnt interest on me , i will move on .
My rules for situationships/dating in general are
1. I only talk to people that I have a romantic interest in. I avoid everyone else, because I am okay being played by someone I wanted first. I am not trying to get played by someone I did not even like to begin with.
2. Within a month, I gauge whether the person is reciprocating interest or not, if yes I go ahead and confess my feelings and announce my intention to date.
If it works, it works. If it does not, bye.
This approach has allowed be to me to have 2 very beautiful and meaningful realtionships that I will cherish forever.
You are going nowhere
"There is only one person calling it a situationship and that's you bestie. To them it's a nothingship." -Rebal 2023 (calling us out yet again😭💀)
Im going to make this my wallpaper... don't judge me🫰
My situationship turned into a relationship. Lasted one month. Finding it ideal that my partner be my best friend does not equal my actual best friend being my ideal partner. Don't get me wrong, I was at fault too. Very apparent when here I am wanting to be in the situationship with him again. Being an anxious avoidant is tough, especially with an anxious preoccupied partner. 😬😭
Before the expectation that your friends should say what we want them to say, that’s what friends were for. To tell you that you’re being foolish with someone.
"AvailYAble" 😂
Ahahah why does he say it like that
the thing that made me happy this week is me completing my whole damn syllabus and I solved all physics questions accurately thank you for asking rebal
Great job🌞
Damnnnn that's awesome 👌🏽
Congratulations 🎉
but my physics , chem , maths work is still left . 😅
Proud of you!!!!
I already went through 3 'situationships' and I by no means am proud of it at all. It was a huge waste of time and energy (and not to mention how mentally draining it felt) for everyone involved. The moment I deleted tiktok to avoid those "relatable situationship" posts is when I realized how much it really alters our generations perspective of relationships and how it affects people in the long run. Being unofficial with another person was just setting myself up for heartbreak, and I did so multiple times now apparently. I learned my lesson, will never recommend anyone to be in a situationship 🤷🏻♀️
Delusionship/infatuationship/situationship/frustrationship/imaginationship…I can’t deal anymore 😢😂
Delusionship is basically you being delusional about having a romantic connection with someone without ANY signs of reciprocation
Infatuationship is the previous but you're even more invested -infatuated-
Situationship is an unofficial relationship. You basically act like lovers and might even be exclusive BUT they can ghost/leave you or even get with someone at any time and it won't even be considered a breakup cuz "we weren't official anyway"
Frustrationship is a situationship that barely advances and leaves you questioning and confused. Maybe they keep leaving but always return too
Imaginationship is a relationship you've built in your head. The difference between a delusionship and this is that in the imaginationship there IS something between you and this person, but it's barely something solid and you build it up to a fullblown relationship
That's what my understanding of these terms is
@@elizaandreadaki9942 I hv experienced all of these with this one person and now I need therapy 💀💀
Isn’t infatuation like obsession?It isn’t the same as a crush, it’s just like ‘head over heels’ or smth. (Learned in Sex Ed)
Situationships seem so silly, just stop. If you want a label, say it. Don’t give people relationship privileges without being in an actual relationship. It all seems like self sabotage.
I’m glad I’m not only one asking and wondering wtf people are going through?!
Why does it seem like EVERYONE’s in love or hurting from a relationship right now😵💫
fr i think ive missed a step- atp you really cant talk to no one
NO FR JOE AND TAYLOR ALLEGEDLY BROKE UP
@@maan8128 Who?
@@skzzks5 Yeah😭
Bro I don't got no one to talk to even message ...ain't no way I can ever be in situations or even relationships 😭🤡
my last relationship ended because they were too busy with academic stuff and couldnt fully commit to the relationship. while i was deeply in love with them and being all romantic and wanting to spend the rest of our lives together and planning our future, they were just casual, enjoying our time together and having fun. yes, they liked me, we didnt have any conflicts, but academics were more important for them and thats okay. this relationship taught me that being on the same level and loving each other the same amount is important.
I’m in the same spot rn tbh. She’s too busy with work and school so I don’t think it’ll work out with her for me.
Noone is too busy for love
How do I explain to Rebal that I've never even been flirted at? 💀
Hey bbg/handsome
There u go 🥰
@@ilovesenseiussy486 lol u are amazing ❤️
@@nate6348 np :3
No need for explaining, just listen and learn, for the time it begins.. so you don't end up like the lost souls he's talking about😂😂
How old are u though 😅 because if Ur a teenager that's fair that u haven't because u still have plenty of time and Ur still a kid 🤷
It's how an actual person with eyes and a complete brain didn't see how much of a perfect gem Rebal is and treated him as a "nothingship" that's unbelievable to me💀💀
Love how rebal just judges us and then switches up to "bestie hru"
Ntwana😭🤞🏽
I once was in a similar situation where I was getting mixed signals.. earlier I felt he was too shy maybe but later on I took Matter into my hands, and asked him directly, from that he couldn't escape, even then he was making excuses just to stay in my life but I confronted him with what I wanted from him. And he said he can't fully do that. I said ok never mind goodbye... That's the best thing I did for myself and I still feel proud... ❤️
rebal casually making us realize we’re all clowns
that's because we are... that also includes me😞🤡
@@xhehex4145 true true
My self reflection is that i get attached quickly and can not let go.
I never want it to be a situationship. I am just kind and empathetic and presenting my best side to a person I like. And everything goes well, we talk about different things, flirt etc, but suddenly they just ghost me after most random normal message. Why do people do this? I genuinely wanna know
Like same here. I genuinely don't understand why. Sometimes it makes you question yourself and actions at times.
Same here 😢
From my POV, people who ghost are afraid of responsibility. They will usually use the line_"I don't like people expecting from me." Now,at first you might think they are talking about serious expectations like buying you gifts, showing up for you daily in some way, etc. But later, you understand that even though you expected nothing except the bare minimum(to put it very lightly), they still ghosted you. People who ghost have no sense of accountability. Or perhaps, they are avoidant of their own emotions. There are people who hardly sit with their feelings and understand themselves.. These people naturally run away once they feel the potential of something serious. Also, there are people who are too afraid to be honest about the fact that they lost interest/found someone else/whatever. So, they disappear. So, don't beat yourself up if you have been ghosted. (Whoever is reading this). Respect the wishes of the dead. Celebrate the fact that you dodged a coward who could have abandoned you easily if they ever became a part of your life. Good riddance.
@@alishawinters924 💯
@@cielsthetique ikr
It makes me question my taste
When I was a kid, it was called "talking." The pre-relationship stage. As in - 'you're talking about a relationship & talking to get to know each other.'
To be honest .... my heart could never handle a situationship. Too tense or stressful 😥
@Tristan for example for me, i was in one. a situationship is like where you’re in an undefined relationship. so, you seem to be touchy. loving, close with each other, do things couples do but you and the other person aren’t in a actual relationship, committed relationship.
Exactly
@Tristan he explains it in the video
I’m in a situationship , everytime i ask him about our status his response is “Let’s see, that’s why i’m still here”
Being available for one person when you really are busy is a red flag however being busy ALL THE TIME that you don't spend any time with the other one is also a red flag.
From my POV, people who ghost are afraid of responsibility. They will usually use the line_"I don't like people expecting from me." Now,at first you might think they are talking about serious expectations like buying you gifts, showing up for you daily in some way, etc. But later, you understand that even though you expected nothing except the bare minimum(to put it very lightly), they still ghosted you. People who ghost have no sense of accountability. Or perhaps, they are avoidant of their own emotions. There are people who hardly sit with their feelings and understand themselves.. These people naturally run away once they feel the potential of something serious. Also, there are people who are too afraid to be honest about the fact that they lost interest/found someone else/whatever. So, they disappear. So, don't beat yourself up if you have been ghosted. (Whoever is reading this). Respect the wishes of the dead. Celebrate the fact that you dodged a coward who could have abandoned you easily if they ever became a part of your life. Good riddance.
Amen to that!!
🙌🏼
Or maybe they just don’t really want you, it’s not that deep nobody owes u anything (just have to accept this really, no need to overanalyze other people unless ur their therapist)
No omd this actually described me on a personal level back when I first started dating (im not trying to say it's a good thing) It's really just due to insecurities, I never felt like I won the person over for who I really was and I was afraid if I revealed too much of myself they'll not truly like me anymore so being an immature idiot that I was, I ghosted a lot of people-even people who were actually interested in me.
So, if you are having experiences with someone like this just know it is absolutely not your fault, it's their own stupid insecurities that did that to the relationship
Thanks for this 🥲
6:40 “to them, it’s a nothingship”. So true. This is way too funny.
"its no even a boat" ok DAMN Rebal
Brooooo rebal explains things so much better than any of our teachers ever could!!!!! Man deserves a raise
Situationships are good teaching moments (as awful as it feels...) I've learned to be more firm with my boundaries and to not feel guilty when I'm uncomfortable with something the other person is pushing for. And you learn to recognize red flags a lot more early on instead of turning a blind eye or making up excuses. Now relationships are black or white for me. You are either interested in dating me seriously or we're just gonna be friends, no in-between because I don't want to act and be treated like your girlfriend while you're still looking around giving the same treatment to other girls. A good friend of mine told me "Don't pour buckets that aren't refilling you." And I'm gonna try and follow that..
BUT I'm still mad that I got played by someone I wasn't interested in in the first place!🥴🙄😂
"being apathetic is not a flex" TELL HIM BESTIEEE😭
I like how this video is about all I went through and at the same time feels like the closure I wanted
I didn't know about the existence of the situationships, but now that I do, man, I'm grateful to be aromantic. This type of things sound horrible.
I’m greyromantic and I agree
going with the flow really only works if you flow well ON YOUR OWN! if you're insecure about being alone or doing things by yourself, you'll be searching to hop on someone elses flow which a lot of times is not the flow for you. so before you go with the flow, take some time where you ground yourself in your own self-love. if you're reading this, you are so loved and worth it! you are an amazing human and you don't need to dim your light for anyone!!!
I'm so single that I can't even get in a situationship 💀
Bro 💀
BRO LMAO
That's a good thing. Quality or nothing ❤
@@melitta222 truuu you're right :)
the "don't be too available" rule makes sense to me.. I like being in the moment and really be present. If the dude is counting the number of hours it took me to answer their boring text well he is weeding himself out at this point
I have one basic rule. Respect my boundaries. Doesn't matter if it's something small, like giving me space (I get overwhelmed pretty easily) or something big, like taking a no for a no. Apparently, this already is a challenge for some people because I haven't found one person that didn't try to push me in a specific direction - may it be in subtle ways or by crude manipulation lol
Heyyyyy Rebal D lol
I'm 26 years old & from Australia 🇦🇺 I can relate with you sooooooo much and I literally view you as a family member that's how close I feel to you when I'm watching your videos. You gave a solid set of rules at the end, 100% agree with all of them. All of your rules will make for a happier, healthier relationship & I love self reflection, it helped me to grow through my long term toxic relationship. I am now in a healthy relationship and I literally did not believe i could be loved by any man until this relationship. Love is limitless, never lose hope but never go searching :) I wish you nothing but the best Mr.Rebal D lol thanks for being just a cool guy lol and yeah love your work!!! ❤
Rebal being my therapist for 17 minutes straight is something I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED
😂 We need more dating advice from u bessfreeen
No because, I’m literally here for Rebal giving us ACTUAL advice about life and stuff. He’s like… an actual bestie 😅❤️
Jesus I'm glad I'm married now😂
I'm 27 and before I got married 6 yrs ago I had a situationship that completely messed my perception of a healthy relationship and boundaries.... everyone deserves better than a situationship❤
I think what’s actually wrong with being available is that you end up not having a life of your own. I mean I had this too at some point and it really throws people off AND you end up lost after that person. So it’s really important to remember that they’re just a tiny part of your life and that you have more important things to do than to be there for them all the time. It’s called self respect ✊
"A situationship is somewhere between a relationship and a booty call"
The "Stay there, B!tch" at the end was hilarious. LMAO
I literally just realized that my last relationship was a situationship... I wasn't ready for anything with a title and was too scared to tell him I wasn't feeling it anymore. I was so scared he'd hate me and all my friends would leave me too that I let it drag on. (He was friends with all of them first.) He also had his problems and there was just no communication.
Something I learned from that experience was that it's okay to not be ready for something, it actually starts to be a problem when you both deny acknowledging it hoping it will get better or you'll get used to it.
My Talking Stage Rules:
- Consistent communication, effort and interest from their side
- I should feel a strong pull towards them not only emotional attraction wise but also based on our values and lifestyles, I should find them attractive.
- I should find them physically attractive, and feel like they find me physically attractive
- There shouldn’t be any RED flags and if there are then they should be discussed, if they’re non-negotiable then it’s time to say goodbye and wish them a good blessed life
- they should know how to converse and keep me interested
- I should feel respected by them
- I should feel liked by them
- I should respect them
- I should like them
- I should not like them for their potential
- I should not feel a huge power difference
- I should not feel the urge to save them
- I should not question my worth or feel insecure around them
- I should feel like more of the receiver, I deserve gentle princess treatment
About the “staying busy”:
Being available is not at all bad. It’s only bad within a relationship when you have no friends and no hobbies to do. You need to make sure you can function outside of just being with your partner, doing things you enjoy and having a strong support system. _However_ it’s also incredibly important to _make_ time for your spouse. (Free time will not come on its own). How much time that is, you’ve got to communicate. For some relationships, little time is fine. For others, a lot of time is necessary. There’s no right answer. Everyone is different and valid. Nonetheless, that time _needs_ to be there somewhere. Not having quality time is one of the biggest killers of relationships, and why people feel like they “fall out in love.” In fact, in many cases, cheating also comes out of not spending enough quality time with each other. -My credentials are 1) previously being in a very toxic relationship and 2) eventually finding the right person + therapy and being in a loving marriage :)
Anyways, Rebal, great video as always!
Self-control, set boundaries, put urself feelings first, don't ever go back. I agree on that don't be available all the time, try be busy, there're many more meaningful things in life u can do for ur own good.
This is correct, I learnt self worth after a situationship dragging on for 2 years.... I've been single ever since, I've lost all hope and tolerance for BS.... halp 😂😂😂😂😂
"Don't be available" can be a double-edged sword. It may bring you closer to the other person or it can just piss you off and you leave. I guess reasons why you're busy are important, like school, work, plan with your family/friends etc.
HOW R WE ALL UNIVERSALLY GOING THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING RN?? like insta looks like this for everyone 😭
My tip: set your own pace, don't be rushed.
my talking/early dating phase rules:
1) the most important rule is don't romanticize the other person or what could be between the two of you in early talking stages, lhm is this ever a risky and potentially heartbreaking thing to do
2) commit to loving or at least respecting yourself before committing to loving someone else.
3) head first is always safer than heart first, even if it's not as fun or pretty.
3) your sleep, personal boundaries, and alone time are still important. don't let someone guilt trip you into thinking that it's selfish or prudish. or that you owe it to them 😑🙄
4) don't skip responsibilities for them. they're not going to earn your degree or pay yourbills. nor will they fix friendships or family relationships if you abandon those.
5) if it doesn't feel right with them even after you've communicated your wants and needs openly, it's not right.
6) if you notice a pattern of their ugly behavior, don't try to convince them over and over to be a different person or better person. leave them behind because you're better off without that negativity and pain.
7) don't settle and don't be settled on. you are more than a fk buddy, and you deserve to be loved for who you are, not just physically. you deserve to be with someone who wants you and isn't using you as a holdover or backup. no fkng thanks.
that being said, i am delu when it comes to you and idk why 🤡❤ u are annoyingly attractive inside and out. it frustrates me greatly but i can't get enough of u for some reason 🙂🙃
him validating our feelings but also calling us out in the end was very much needed.
Love the gentle bullying bestie 😂 Something I've definitely learned after reflecting on myself in situationships is to not open up to someone too fast. Pace can be a difficult thing but I've noticed it can come naturally with the right people 🤔
Out of all the videos Rebal has made I never thought this would be the most relatable 🤡
the FACT my 'potential bf' just texted me back and had a HUGE grinn plastered on my face as REBEL yelled at me LMAOOOOO
Personally I think it’s all about how available you are. Nothing wrong with being there for them or not being that busy. I think the problem starts when u cancel all your plans just to be with them. Or when you try to change your whole schedule to make sure they get the most importance. You can still do things that u need to do and still be a available.
I used to watch Rebal when I was single Pringle and snacking on sweets💀... Now I watch him while dating a great chef. So therefore he can no longer 'bully' me about being single 🤣🤣🤣
I find this to be most helpful in th talking phases and whatnot and to see if you actually want a relationship with that person/if they want one with you: If you have a mental illness, say so in the beginning. Let's say you have severe depression, that other person has to be willing/able to help you at your low points and whatnot. If they can't handle it/if they start diagnosing you with other stuff when you don't ask for it, don't be with them (from personal experience, it ends extremely bad)
Everyday, these people make me more and more happy to be single in my entire life
I feel like we are all in a situationship with Rebal D 😂
I have been in so many situationships and I hated it. Everytime I date and thought I might have a bf but then to realize nah the guys finally showed their red flags
Men are shit nowadays, might as well become lesbian
Went through a situationship, out of it now and fully moved on 🙏
A couple things I learned were to set boundaries, don't lower your standards, and stand up for yourself. Know when to let things go. If you feel mentally checked out, or you don't like the person anymore, don't cling on with the hopes that they'll change, or that somehow things will magically work out.
Also, listen to your friends. They can offer a much clearer perspective on things because they're not seeing through an emotional lens. If you know that friend cares about you, and you can trust them, take their advice on this one.
Most importantly, know that it's not the end for you. There are good people out there, even if they might be hard to find 😅
You'll find that someone, just be patient 💕
I hope this helps, stay safe and take care everyone 🫂
Being available is a red flag for someone who is still immature for me , not for someone who knows what real relationships is ❤
thank you so much.. as much as I've seen we are universally in a situationship
relationship seems scary when you're still in college and have trouble interpreting others emotions (im tsa btw), i learned that commitment is scary but i think it can be sweet too. maybe we just have to be more confident or sure of our emotions before starting something with someone?
Seems scary with wrong person
Trust your intuition
12:01 self reflecting. Boy does it teach YOU about YOU. Too funny 😂😂…yet also…true.
I think he described the entire "Nevertheless" kdrama in one video. 😭
I think the whole "don't be so available" is taking time for yourself as well. When you become so hooked and dependant on that person, you tend to put that person before yourself. Taking time for yourself even if they text you can be a form of self love. Keep progressing in yourself and doing the things you enjoy... don't stop for them entirely. If you have to do that just to cater for them in your life, that's a red flag in my opinion.
I'm currently in a single-ship and have been for my whole life, thanks.
You know, I've never really been in a situationship, but I'm happily in a relationship right now (it'll be 2 years in 2 months!) and the best advice I can give for any healthy relationship is communication. I was also friends with my partner for years before we started dating (granted we're both demi) but I truly believe being friends with someone before you give a relationship a go is one of the best ways to know you're both on the same page. None of this "talk for three months minimum or else" crap. Try to give it more time so you can really get to know each other. That way you two won't be super into each other only to realize you both want different things in the future that aren't compatible. Then you both avoid that heartbreak entirely.
Edit: I do think having enough time to get to know each other is important, but I also wanted to say that the "put a deadline on it" point Rebal made is good too. Don't cling to something you can't ever see happening/see happening in many years. There are other people out there for you, boo. However long it takes, I guess what I'm trying to say is just be upfront with your partner about what you both want so that there's no future surprises that drive you both apart.
Idk if Rebald will ever see it but thank you! Its been a month since me and my almost something broke things off. Jokes aside, I am a bit upset me and him couldn’t work things out but you made me realize that I wasn’t the only one being the problem on the relationship, I was always blaming myself for it, he also had red flags. Thanks Rebald!! Lotz of love, this vid made me realize im not alone bc I just couldn’t relate to a bunch of bad advice from the internet who went through bad talking stages. Again thank you!! 💖💖🎉
this video helped me 8 month ago, now it's helping me with my another situationship thank you so so much
I got ghosted this year by someone who wanted me first and now that I’m over it you made this video 😂 thank you for choosing this as your new video script this was amazing 😻 😂
Honestly both rules make sense. I think we can sometimes confuse honesty and being straight forward with coming off as desperate or naive but if there is one thing I learnt is how much that helps you later on. If you have been genuine, trust me, no matter what the other person says or does, you walk out of it winning. It helps build your character and you later on realize that the person was a reason for me to learn all these new things about myself that I didn't know or perhaps avoided this whole time. I think what matters the most is to be content with yourself. When you walk into a talking stage fully convinced that you will be good with them or without them, things take an interesting turn and whatever happens next is a learning experience. If you can't be with someone who doesn't treat you as well as you treat yourself (or at least try), then you're better off without them. Loved the video!
Rebal D, the single friend who gives us relationship advice or in this case situation ship advice.🤞
This is why the second I found out I liked a guy I asked him out. Been dating for 3 years now. I can't handle the "what are we" kind of relationship especially when they last more then a month or two.
No one wants to admit it because it hurts but situationships are normally a relationship where one of the people involved is willing to be physically intimate with the other person but openly refuses to acknowledge any kind of emotional responsibility for anything they consciously do or don't do that might be morally questionable. It's basically a cop out for narcissistic abuse and just shitty behaviour. I don't know why we normalised it but we shouldn't. It leaves a lot of people confused and hurt.
I’m available all the time because I don’t have any other plans anyway.
Honestly I’m not going to be in a situationship or relationship anytime soon because I like my alone time and if i’m bored I can just go meet my family or friends.
I clicked on this for the title alone. I literally just ended my eight month Situationship because a friend finally told me how he felt and I was tired of being considered a “friend” to the guy I was trying to get with. but of course, now that I’m moving on he’s trying to say oh I love you and I was about to get serious like right now, but “[I] started moving on” 🤣 I believe this generation hold some of the most emotionally toxic people 🙃🤣
not communicating drives me absolutely crazy lmao, i knew this person for a little bit and after it started getting flirty i was just like "do you think we might end up as more btw?" and they said yes like 😭 talking about your feelings isnt always as scary as it seems i promise, our relationship is a million times more comfortable being transparent about it
One of my talking stage rule is to become friends first/get to know them.
I know it's such an obvious rule but oftentimes when you meet someone new, everything seems great, you know with all the hormones and chemicals, you can't really tell what's real or not.
So taking the time to get to know each other, minus anything physical, really helps create a clear path.
you don't owe them your time, energy or loyalty if they're not giving you anything in return. relationships of any kind are a two way street so it's important to recognise your own value and worth, and not try and overcompensate in an almost relationship with someone that just takes you for granted. your energy and love are beautiful and precious and we all deserve someone who recognises that 🥰
I love you Rebal.
You literally make my day whenever you post a video, right now my life's a living hell, nothing's right, had a huge heartbreak few months back and I've kinda lost the will to live but everytime I watch your videos I feel like you're right here and you've got my back. Thanks for making me smile ❤️
I’ve been in long term relationships and one thing that always keeps the ball moving is to keep tension between the two parties. So like long eye contact, not giving too much of your life story away, yes not being too available, joking around and teasing… showing each other that you’re okay with or without them, self security etc this should be the basis. So be mysterious in a fun way? If you give too much away you give away too soon that you’re just a regular person or a person who is desperate.. you wanna keep that tension and that fantasy by staying mysterious.. also some soft drama didn’t hurt anyone if anything it caused more tension, for example if a guy or girl hits on one of you and then jealousy begins, sheesh 🥵 that when it really starts the momentum…
My relationships ended when one of us became too needy because we sort of depended on eachother at some point and then it’s not fun anymore because it’s not natural, it’s forced…
but I always got them back because I pulled the energy back and put it back on me. For any relationship to thrive it must be two whole people and not two halves of that makes sense 🤣 and happy fulfilled secure people are always super attractive and there’s a massive chance the ex will come back when you’ve reached that stage. They can feel the shift is not on them anymore it’s on you. I speak from experience, when you start focusing on yourself and your own happiness they want to eat you up LOL
But (sometimes) it’s easier said than done, sometimes the failed relationships are necessary so we know where we’re going wrong and what we don’t want.
This is just my experience but I have enough experience to know that it works everytime and my friends told me too. 😂 use at your own risk
Tthank you this is useful to me ^^
Taking ss lol
I honestly like/love people who are available- well when u say obsessive- idrc sounds good to me❤
I’ve managed to be able to completely cut my emotions off and look at them different