This One Study Will Change How You Think About Your Entire Life
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ย. 2024
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Today’s episode is a wake up call.
Before you waste another day of your life, you need to hear the 6 shocking statistics from a ten-year long study about what you’re doing with your time.
Because the hard reality is that time is passing you by.
And if that bothers you, this episode will get you doing something about it.
You’re probably spending too much time on things that are not important to you, and not enough time on what is.
It’s time to change that.
In this episode, you’ll also learn:
- Surprising life changes that happen at ages 18, 21, 29, 40, and 70
- 6 things you must pay attention to if you want to make the most of your life
- The most important decision you’ll ever make (it’s not what you think!)
- The ten-year research study that Mel couldn’t stop thinking about
- The truth about your relationship with your family
- The advice you need to help you find the right person for you
- A short quiz to help you see what matters most in your life
- The big takeaway that will change how you see your relationships.
To go deeper into the topics shared in today’s episode, including the study Mel shares, the graphs, and the resources mentioned, click here for the episode resource page: www.melrobbins...
Follow The Mel Robbins Podcast on Instagram: / themelrobbinspodcast
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
02:50: A short quiz to help you see what matters most in your life.
04:35: The shocking study that Mel can’t stop thinking about.
08:50: A massive milestone that happens at age 18.
10:45: Do the math this way and you’ll never see your family in the same way.
12:00: One question to ask yourself if you’re not getting along with family.
13:55: The big takeaway that will change how you see your relationships.
19:15: Choose these people carefully- you spend half your life with them.
24:00: This is what happens at age 21 if you’re not paying attention.
28:00: The 2 “P’s” that will help you keep your friends.
35:25: The most important question to ask about the person you’re dating.
36:20: The advice you need to help you find the right person for you.
42:50: Your most important job as a parent.
#time #relationships #podcast #liveyourbestlife
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I turned 40 in September. After 7 years of being in the same rental, I moved in with my parents just before Christmas 23. I am currently on the hunt for a fully contained caravan. I’m going mobile! For how long? I don’t know!
I’m going to travel and I am going to visit so many friends I haven’t seen in years. I can’t bloody wait ❤
Congrats. Live your best life 💞
Fabulous lessons. Thanks for this!
What about earning ?
@@gayathri3821 I think their government fund people in need
That's the good morning ahead in life. But we aware of each friends. People are not the same always. They perhaps might hurt you as well.
When my kids were young and I was first divorced, I used to feel so sad being alone! Then I learned how to take myself on "dates". I learned HOW to enjoy spending time with myself. And I really like spending time alone with myself now. ❤
Àaqq11 1Rva1
My biggest fear is being alone and it's been so hard for me to be alone. I always feel that something will happen to me. It is really weird what I feel.
@@MelissaGarcia-bx1ki I know. You feel stuck. I do too
Until you get long term illness
Me too
I lost my Dad, my best friend, my person, in October. It's hard, we were close. And I lived with him and took care of him the last few years. You can only prepare yourself so much for their end and how you'll live on without their physical presense. Now I'm watching Mel's video to learn to make the best of my time now. No regrets.
@P1nkBanj0 I’m sorry for your loss. It’s heartwarming that you used your time wisely to spend time with him and care for him. You are an amazing daughter! I hope you can now take care of yourself and share your heart with others who will appreciate the diamond 💎 that you are.
Big hugs hunny 🤗 that's so hard, let yourself grieve as much as you need to, these things are a sucker punch but you absolutely did spend all the time you could with him, and I love that you know that ❤
And YES get out there and LIVE once you feel ready! I'm sure your dad's cheering you on and is still your person!! You carry him with you in your heart and memories, and as you grow into this 'after' time, you will meet him in all the beauty and fun around you on your path ❤ sending you my very best wishes X
@@cwright821 Thank you so much. I'm grateful for your words. ❤
@@bmbrooklyn I appreciate that very much. Thank you. ❤
I didn’t get to say goodbye to my dad as we lived in different cities and only visited him in holidays .. he didn’t even tell me he was terminal I had no idea , when I flew he was still alive , when landed and rushed to the hospital he was no more .. this was in 2017 and I’m still full of shock and regret, he was my bf too. So please see how fortunate you are you were being with him ., getting to share his last moments . I wish I could have . I wish I could go back in time . My sibling knew and never told me .. till it was too late ..
My mom is 80. When I moved out of state 7 years ago, I started texting her goodnight/I love you etc every night. I also call once or twice a week on my way home from work to touch base. ❤
Living with no regrets is amazing!
The message is not for everyone.
If you have a loving family, spend more time with them.
If you have a toxic family, cut ties with them.
I choose the latter and living peaceful and happy life for almost 30 years.
Simple as that.
You changed my life. You brought me back to life . 2020 was the year of a life changing . I was at my lowest miserable just hiding in my bed and one night you was there in front of me talking about yourself and the rocket and your Hi5 method and that was it. I did it because you showed me the way. You was the light in my darkness. I’m 58 and you made me feeling happy and young again. And every time I feel depressed sad and lose interest in life and feel overwhelmed you show up on TH-cam and guide me again. Thank you so much for saving me and gave my kids their mother again strong again and alive . Thank you
Wow - wonderful 💜 We love Mel for her amazing advice 💜
Me 2😂❤😂
My siblings and I schedule a rotating monthly dinner where each of us take turns hosting dinner with a theme. It allows for us to stay connected and always have something planned to see each other at least once a month.
Great idea!
Yah we have a family gathering on the first Sunday of everything month ... 25 years later we still doing it. The young people (next gen) love it and seldom miss it even though they are all busy and spreading their wings. It has kept us connected.
What a great idea. I may borrow this idea. Thanks
@@Cityheart221 I wish I could do this, but it's not for me. All the best.
I took care of my little brother and both of my parents as they passed on over the last 15 years..
I speak with my son and daughter daily..
My nephew and I are absolute best friends..
My sister is my rock..
My brother-in-law is a brother to me..
I am very fortunate for all this..
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Highly recommend!!
Good for you. Lots of people dont have that.
You are lucky. My family of sisters are so jealous of my life, personality, fun busy prosperous life, etc etc that they are so horrible to me. Make each other dislike me. I have friends that have replaced my sister's and their family as they would stress me with their lies and hatred, every time! I'm at peace staying away from them.
Dear Mel, people who cut ties with family are struggling with lots of doubt, pain, guilt, loneliness and invalidation. Their position in family is such that family IS the most terrible waste of their life, time, love, effort and potential. I think it would be important to validate them more. 🙏 Family ties are powerful both in best and worse ways.
Totally agree. I spent 30 years trying to keep contact with my family, but they put me down every time. My only option to ”survive” myself was to end the contact with them totally. So family is sometimes the ones you should avoid. I only regret that I spent so many years trying, so many wasted years. all I ever wanted was to ”have that happy family, meanwhile, I was the one suffering to the point that I gave up my own life.
Patrick Teahan's YT channel has viewers and commentors who would love to spend time with their extended family and/or family-of-origin, but cannot because those toxic family members are unwilling to have healthy relationships with them.
My true loving family is my furry son, my pup. Family are people whom you are “accidentally” related to by blood ties, NOTHING ELSE NOR MORE. Some are lucky to have a nice family, but family or not , if you don’t feel good around them or mistreated or if they don’t encourage or value you , they are NOBODY, just garbage
Btw , I needed this , thanks Mel, truly grateful , sending love ❤
Yes. I skipped family toxic holiday gatherings. Because I chose myself.
I once attended a 90th birthday meal gathering. I was aged 20-something (no kids) and an older relative suddenly turned to me and said 'just think, when you have your 90th, you have no idea who will be there do you'...that really made me realise that one day i will be living a completely different reality.
My high school friends and I started to struggle with not seeing each other when we were getting married. From there we planned dinners out every 3rd Friday of the month. Everyone took a month and picked a restaurant. Whomever could make it did, some regularly and some sporadically but just planning the dinners even kept us in touch. This was back in the day when we had to pick up the phone and call. Fast forward 30 yrs later. We still have our monthly dinners. Back at 35 we started a girls trip every 5 yrs. We are 55 now and going strong all 16 of us, clicks within a click, some closer than others but we are all still here and still together.
I have ZERO desire to see more of my brother. That would simply mean hearing about how great he is. And then hearing about how great he is again. And then hearing more from him. And about how great his family are. And more of his opinions. My only permitted role in all that (unless I want to attract his sarcasm and silent contempt) would be ‘silent observer’ and ‘being supportive’. No room for the thoughts of a younger sister in his life. So no thanks.. much happier without that!
Haha, same!!
Ditto
My sister is exactly the same. Better to avoid her....😢
Same❤
I have one of those - no desire to see him at all.
With the friendships, it’s tricky because I feel like the one who prioritizes but very few prioritize back. It gets me disheartened at times
Switch "friendships" to "romantic relationships". If you wouldn't tolerate it from a significant other, don't tolerate it from friends. Nobody is that busy, nobody is so obtuse that they don't know how much they're putting in you, etc. If you love yourself enough, you won't accept nonsense.
My best friend pops in and comes over a lot. I’m a home body, but my door is always open. Hoping you find a match like that ❤
Yes, I used to feel that way, then just started applying the "Let Them" & not take it so seriously, & embraced that I tend to be that organizer or the initiator and go with it.
I had the same thing with my step sister! I called her regularly for about 5 years. I stopped calling her and she never called me. I guess you kind of wonder if they really like you as much as you thought they did! Unless it is a two way street, I just don't put the effort into relationships anymore. I don't miss it!
People are creatures of habit! If you’re the one who always calls, it turns off the part of their brain that needs to think about calling you! It’s never personal! ❤
When you grow up in a family where their is so much abuse and you feel you have the responsibility of keeping everything together it’s a relief to get away. I can take the time to talk to my parents & siblings when they’re not abusive.
I am so Blessed to have my own family now.
I enjoy my alone time, I can do what I want, no interuptions, I dont have to talk or listen.
FYI Humans are not created to be alone. That's not normal.
Who’s going to be there when you’re dying all alone? 😢
We all die alone.
@@kathygaber3801 not necessarily. But what I’m referring to is when you are dying on your deathbed who is going to be there next to you comforting you?
I know I was just messing , I have family....
And sometimes you spend you whole life up until you are 59 trying to make every other person in your life happy and you realize you forgot about yourself. And now you are stuck with this person you don’t love and don’t really know.
*not too late*, enjoy getting back to yourself! ❤
That's my case dear,what's the solution?
Just say “fuck it” and do what you want now! Those that truly love you will adjust and still love you.
That just means you did it wrong.
I can so relate to this! How do we change that?
My husband and I are in our early seventies. We have always built our life around our families. He worked with his Dad (construction) in the family business and I worked with one of my brothers (CPAs in our own practice). We spent so much time with our parents and siblings. We never stopped by his parents home and said, "hey, would y'all like to go get something to eat?" that they didn't respond positively. They all passed in their nineties and we miss their presence so much. We have no regrets about spending so much time with all of them. We do the same with our dogs... as they are a part of our family as well. My two Aussies go to work with me every day and my clients love it. I will never regret spending every day with them either. Last July, one of them (Rusty) was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. He lived six weeks (he was only eight and had never been sick at all). It was devastating and trust me I cherish every moment spent with him and now with his "brother" Spencer. Thank you for bringing out how important planning to spend time with those we love is and how we won't regret it... ever! Love you Mel!
After my husband died is when I stop seeing friends and family. When I needed them most. I wouldn’t get invited to parties, bbqs, even holiday gatherings. Sad but I accepted it and removed all of them from life trust circle.
Great reminder. Thanks for talking about this. We are all getting older too quickly. Took a break from work today, To focus more on my son, even though he's 16. Picked him up from school playing his favorite music on the radio. Made him his type of yummy lunch and had a great conversation. His smile to me said it all. 👍
I need this video today! Definitely been thinking about how I’m wasting good time. I’m single, kids are 22 and 33 and since the pandemic, I don’t enjoy the things I use to. So I need new hobbies/interest. It’s hard to make new friends at 55. But I need to start being busy happy again, not just work.
Right there with you!
I can relate to this. it feels harder to make friends after a certain age. living in a small community also contributes to this, among other factors. I miss my friends!!
Completely unrelated but you had your first kid at 22, second at 33, and they are 22 and 33
Close that chapter you are stuck looking at …turn the page and get excited to write and do what hobbies and place and activities you always wanted to do and do it 🎉❤
Like Nike and Mel always say…Just Do it one baby step turn into leaps and bounds !! You are worth it so go have fun you’re allowed😊
I'm 42 and my children are 14 and 8 years old. I'll be 52 when my youngest launches. I'm glad that my career path has allowed me to be more present in their lives these past 8 years. I cherish those moments even more because of these stats. Thank you for highlighting it.
I got goosebumps when she spoke about choosing life with yourself first. Liking yourself, being proud of yourself. It hit home. That has always been a challenge for me, and my choice in partners and compromises I make on what I want has shown this as the real starting point for me.
My mom is 96 years young . Good advice
We moved across country, 7-1/2 years ago to be closer to my daughter and grandchildren, my other daughter moved here a year later and now we all live within 30 minutes to an hour from each other. It is important to be a part of each other's lives. And I have a lot of friends that have done this as well.
It takes two to remain friends . You alone cannot be resposible for a relationship.
Thank you for this. Up 7ntil retirement, i spent my life caring for others and putting them first. I am now finally at age 66, scheduling my priorities daily. Spirit (daily bible reading), body (exercise) and mind (reading, learning something new). I feel balanced doing this and weave in time with my husband, family, friends and volunteering at my church.
I come at this from such a unique angle- I lost my youngest child in a car wreck when she was a senior in college, age 22. Happened in '22. So much of my grief stems from the things I'll miss out on. This was a good eye opener to see things differently. I hadn't quite gotten the grip on parenting adult children and I was struggling with my baby being the last to leave the nest but also cause she hadn't quite found me as a friend just yet. She was starting too and then it happened. My husband and our 2 other kids are crushed beyond belief. I found you because I am not the same person I was before - I never will be again - and I need guidance. Thank u.
My daughters live 400 miles away and I haven't seen them for a year. They are busy with work, no time. I could go there but they won't be there. Working. I'm 69. They are 44 and 42. They live in small apartments. I don't care, but they do. I would get hotel. I don't know techy well so makes it hard to connect facetime and uber's etc. I only hot a text on Christmas from one daughter. Breaks my heart.
You taught them well. Hate men right?
Spending time with your family is great IF they're not a bunch of narcissists. 😮
In my 6th decade of life I’ve come to the realization that with “things” that we need/buy makes me think that they are probably the last 1 of them (i.e. a matress; car; new roof, etc) that we will be replacing!
I have been having that realization too. Especially weird when thinking about my next car,
Hi~ Mel~ I subscribed your channel few months ago if I am not wrong. But only a couple days ago I tried to focus on your video again about 'self discipline'. From that night I started to do my stretching which I didn't keep doing for how many months. Then the following morning when my alarm was ringing around 5:40 in the morning I counted 5..4..3..2..1 and I got up and made my bed and did my morning routine. Right after doing that I said to my self I am sure enough I will feel like a million bucks until the end of the day. And it was really effective. I finished all my schedules successfully.
So I talked to my youngest sister about your channel. She really likes it. And I forwarded to facebook too.
A million of thanks to you:-)♡
Estranged from my surviving twin adult son for almost two years. This means the world to me right now, and both sorrow and joy are struggling within me. Thanks for trailhead guidance, Mel. I'm hiking on. 🥰
I happily left the career to raise my kids. They have all launched.
I was not seen, safe nor supported in my childhood. Hard as I tried to be the generation that changed that through what I thought was doing, safety support and mentoring my Ds walked away and never looked back once their college was paid for by us. Son is building his life and has chosen an exciting but challenging road. We are not a priority.
Estrangement is so hard.
Please do an episode on the parents who have been estranged and how we move forward. You did one on estrangement and why but I didn’t feel there were tools for the estranged. It is an epidemic and largely we are not monsters.
The happy take away is “going to the college dorm for old people”. I’m 66 and my life has been challenging
Thank you for what you do, Mel. I love growing with you.
Thank you so much for this conversation Mel! My daughter is 17 and a senior and I find myself breaking down crying at the drop of a hat the past year (in private of course). This is exactly what I needed to hear to get through this without looking like psycho mom to my daughter😂 we are inseparable and I know that’s not going to change but it will just be close in a different way❤❤❤ anyone else going through this as well?
I just said Goodbye to my Mum a few days ago. There are feelings of not being with her enough but the overwhelming feeling was of grief, but also the realisation how much my mum loved me and how much in all she did was to protect "me".
I feel that and now I understand as I look through my many memories of her and why she did the things she did. That's the takeaway - look deeply into what your mum or your dad, do. See in that the absolute love for "you".
Spend quality time with them. They go and you are left and so are your memories. Make the memories matter ❤
Since small I have grown up in abusive parents since small,until age 21 I realize how toxic they are ( they talk so badly about me Infront of other family members,humiliate me, beat me for no reason,I have to beg for them to buy even basic things) now I amm 21 still staying with them waiting for another two years to get out from house but they told me I have to be they servant for the rest of lives because they gave birth to me just because they born me up ,my mom always travel and leave me I used to live with my cousins such a narcissist parents, because of them I used to get bully at school because of my appearance then I have like almost zero friends at high school too,I have a lot of unheal trauma thatt I am trying to heal...I now happier and stronger thatt I have gone through all this ,and in near future I will embrace more people
Please 🙏 you have to be strong and find a way and courage to leave them.
You are not their servant as they are not showing love ❤️
Remaining with them whilst you may need to plan your exit should be a priority and please don’t let them know. You deserve better in life .
It’s unfortunate that most of the family gets to see each other when there is a death in the family.
This relates more to me than I thought,I having living traveling for 6 years.14 years of not seeing my elders brothers and 6 years of not seeing Mom,Dad and my children.It really makes me sad and think how lonely I feel most of the time.
I'm just listening to this today after learning I need to make a major career change. It's just what I needed!!! This change would allow me more time/freedom to spend with my 85 year old mother, my new grandson and all the other people in my life I want to spend time with.
Saw some graphs the other day about these statistics and loved to hear about these in more detail. It is so true, time is precious and we should seize it more with the people we love. Not only that, but it is proven that cultivating meaningful relationships during the course of our life, allows us to live happier and even longer.
Hearing about the timeline thing did help but it is so unique to the individual I got married when I was 21 and moved away from my family and friends to be with my husband and I'm now been divorced and living on my own.
The value of connections with those we love is immeasurable,
And I have known this for years.❤
I love you but what about people that don't have friends to make them laugh, or have hardly any family, like it's me and my dogs most time, but I'm not lonely or anything, I just want better my health and my life
so very true. What about persons that don't have alot of supportive friends or families. I spend alot of time alone too busy working and traveling on my free time ,my niece said the the phone goes both ways, I was crushed
The biggest take away for me, and it’s been my personal motto for years (I’m 63) is… “you don’t have to be the statistic. You get to choose what your life looks like. You are not the average”
I shared this way before she suggested I share it. This was so healthy for me to hear. I had kids late so my kids are just now the nest. And I can't imagine it. As for coworkers and friends, this helped me see I'm normal. I needed this today!!
My fiancé still has 11 friends from high school & these guys throw parties, play on sports teams together, do couples dates. It’s awesome. No one left Long Island.
I call my mom every day a couple of times. I hate it. We have a really bad relationship. If I don't call her she makes my life hell. If I call her she makes my life hell. The only thing that makes her bearable is to be exactly as bad to her as she is to me. I hate it. I understand why she is this way. I understand that it is not her fault. I understand that I can't change her. That doesn't help. I want to spend as little as possible time around her.
My brother passed unexpectedly in 2022 and it changed my outlook forever. See the family, forgive, life is short.
We got almost the entire family together to celebrate my grandparents' 70th wedding anniversary. We hired a professional photographer who took many photos and put them together in photobooks for keepsakes. My grandmother died 42 days after that celebration.😢
Great podcast. Great topic. First time I've listened to you and you gained a new subscriber. As for work, that hit home. I strongly dislike and do not respect my 2nd line supervisor and don't trust my 1st line. I've caught them in lies. They turned some of my team against me. It's toxic and not worth mee damaging my mental health. I've applied for two new jobs. Fingers crossed things work out. I prefer not spending my time in an environment with folks I don't care for.
Friends- as time went on I got injured and had surgery. One close friend totally was not there for me. I've moved on. When I can be there for friends and when I need them and they are not there, they're not truly friends and I don't need them in my life.
Could you please inform yourself about the lives of the physically disabled. We all tend to be socially isolated especially the seniors.
You wake me up! Literally......
Actually you're just my reference to practice my English to listen and speak what I've learned through your podcast and what you've explained to us, and while I was in the middle of explaining what you said on my own words, suddenly I burst out tears and I remember my family my friends, the people who involve in my life before. I cried, because I remember how happy I am with them and how happy I am to have them because they made me feel special and give bright in my life. You are inspirational. It is the first time that I heard you and watched you, and my only intention is to learn English but you tend to realized me how important the people surrounded me and give time, because time is ticking, but you still have time to be with them. Thank you for giving this wonderful realization ❤❤❤
Time is finite. It will pass by, no matter what situation you are in. I need to devote more time to positive fruitful fulfilling activities.❤ Thanks Mel.
Mel Rovins , my mornings consist of playing with my cats, making delicious breakfast before i head to the gym or work .Thru this enjoyable steps I love listening to your work ,and I also love how you switch topics, always something new in the menu .
God bless Keep , doing what you do.
My kids are 9 and 5. I wasn’t close with grandparents. And while I love my parents I didn’t really get to be close with them. And they really didn’t try, I always had to be the one traveling. So I’ve already warned my kids and decided, I am following them as adults. Because I want a relationship with them in the healthiest, least stalkerish way I can 😂 I want to be in their lives while they build a life and of course build my own flourishing community wherever I am as well.❤
MAke a podcast on depression
Mel isnt a therapist. There are bound to be other podcasts out there that would help you with that subject
@@meesamagill1193 yes I know she isn't a therapist..but I meant she can invite someone experienced on that subject
@@sejalmalik3284she has
A lot of her podcast will help with depression.
If you're literally clinically depressed, see a psychiatrist, not Mel Robbins. Otherwise, her entire existing body of work is to get you out of a rut.
Since my 13years I didn't spend enough time with my family due to the life circumstances and now that I'm 33 don't even have a real friend or family close by and the lack of social life is killing my mind now spend 90% of my time with my husband and 1 years old son it's really difficult
You are blessed to have your husband and child now 💖
Yes, wonderful to have a husband and son. But, don’t forget who you are. Mel Robbins explains about you being happy and not losing who you are. I felt lost just devoting my life to son and husband. I was lost after son married and left. Had no career. No friends. It feels like I never got to know what makes me happy. Because I was trying to make everyone else happy. It’s taking time to get to know me. (Keep an eye on you too).
Moments where you made them feel safe, seen, and supported 💞
Safe, seen, and supported. Wow.
I listen to you now and I have been a subscriber for years and I can say that I love your materials because you are sensitive to our needs. You are simply, one of the best. ❤
I love you - your caring approach is just as important as the advice you provide
10 minutes into this video and I realize what I knew to be true - I am not a statistic. I am a live in caregiver for my mom and have been active in my parents life for the entirety of mine. It’s an honor. It comes with a different set of challenges and nuance but if anything, I know I’ll never have regrets about how my time was spent. 💜 Thanks Mel, for another thought-provoking conversation.
I did the same thing… no regrets and when my parents really needed me, I was there!! I miss them but have lots of great memories!!
@@lisawicks7425💜🩷💜
Data on friends is not at all true for me. It seems I got NEW friends every decade because we grow and change. Some stay, some go. I volunteer a lot and made friends that way and some at work too. It wasn’t until I was 55 and my husband died that most of my friends vanished within 10 years. I stopped working and volunteering. That friend network and “connection” has been lost and it’s really difficult now.
You are the most intelligent person I’ve ever heard from you tube! You are an angel!!
Leaving in London from the last 16 years, only see my parents every 2 years, long way to go to Brazil and also very expensive . Miss them big time 😞
Same here, but different countries 🥲
OMG! You're the best! Thank you so much, Mel. This is changing my life right now! God bless you for being a such blessing to all of us! ❤
When you reach a certain age at least for me you realize all of this without needing studies to review., it becomes really painful not to be able to see family more and not always easy to make it happen, although this is all very true and enlightening when you love your family and already have lost your parents thinking about this first thing in the morning is more depressing for me than enlightening.
It’s never too late and you’re never too old to turn your dreams into reality.♥️
PS: Age only matters if you’re a wine or cheese.✨
..Or, if you’re a job applicant!
@@INgirl812 tell them you identify as 25 yo
I'll always remember 5vs in my life! The people who encouraged and supported me in my professional and personal growth, the situations in life I never chose to be and had to show up for myself to create better life, the time of shift of my consciousness that changed my beliefs, values and priorities in life and gave me sense of higher purpose! And I'll never forget those 5vs that intended to destroy me, who tried to dim my light, and those who turned their backs on me when I needed them the most. I've looked at all my 5vs and I am grateful to all, as without I wouldn't be able to tap into core of my being to find my way to the higher version of me. I am celebrating my 5vs! Much love to all!
I call my parents every other day, and been spending my vacation with them after the pandemic. It does not making me immune to our differences haha…but they are old, they love us differently. Just be grateful and blessed ❤️
I recently met a group of 30-40 year olds... not only do they make time for their respective families, but also their friends... Despite being on social media with each other, they also meet each other regularly. They consider each other chosen family and make time to meet up, even spontaneously.
I don't know them well so I am not sure how long they have been like this, but after meeting them, I am hopeful that this generation understands time is limited. (I am older and I feel like many of us did not understand that until recently, unfortunately.) 🙏
Plot twist: I am here to improving my listening skill but now finally I find a channel where I can also improve my lifestyle, mind-set, thinking ability 😀
Same!
Listening skills.... interesting. Why, if i may ask
@@louiseaa7609 I am not а native speaker
The sad thing about my family is, everyone has their own values. I prioritize my family like my parents most, but some of my siblings are not on the same page. We can never go on a family vacation because everyone seems to be so busy every single year. Which is very sad to me and this is one lesson I learned to not allow in my family with my kids.
Omg! I forwarded this podcast to my two daughters. I hope they listen to it. THANK YOU. Right now, they are not talking to their troubled brother- which breaks my heart.😢 and yes life it's too short.❤❤❤
My dad died at 63, so you really don't really have a lot of time. He died of cancer within six weeks of being diagnosed, but I got to write poems for him as he was dying and for his friends and family to read when he died. I hope those who can express their grief through their creativity do so. It will help you and those around you.
THE ONE THE FLOWER FAIRY LOVED THE MOST
There’s an old children’s story about the Flower Fairy
who loved the dandelion the most.
She loved the flower that others thought was a weed
because it wanted to grow wherever there were children
while the tulip and the rose wanted to live in the grounds
of a castle and be seen by the eyes of a princess
and the violet wanted to hide away in the woodland.
The Flower Fairy loved the dandelion for its generous spirit,
so she granted its wish which is why it grows everywhere.
But she also granted it the ability to bloom twice in the year.
First in early spring with its head as yellow as the sun
and then later in the year with a head full of fairy wishes
for all the children it wanted to see.
And now, as I think of my father with his head of white hair,
I imagine him returning not as a butterfly or a bird or even a tree
but a dandelion because he loved the laughter of children
and because his generous spirit granted wishes, too.
Co workers - I have both types.
I have had to change my mind set, bacause i love my Job, i couldn't allow the negative people to influence me any more. It did and my life was miserable. Now that i have set them aside (in a mental influence way) I only allow the positive to influence me. Now other co workers are attracted to me noticing the positive change and wanting to know how? Its amazing.
Thankyou Mel
I really needed to hear this!! My kids, my mom and dad are gone. I spend most days home alone but I never feel alone. I feel content with myself. My kids get in touch now and then. It's ok they were a gift. I raised then independents. They don't have time for me and I am good with their gone. I do volunteer work. My kids don't complete me and it's good. I too apologize all the time with my know it all kids. I am a writer and cherish alone time.
I am spending my time listening to you, it's like you're my grandmother telling what should I be doing.❤ I am 28 yr old.
After watching this podcast a couple days ago I turned in a request for time off so I can go see my dad in a month and I’m going to have my son come with me to he’s gonna be 80 in September and I seen him over Christmas but it’s definitely time to reconnect and I appreciate your Contant. You are making a big difference we appreciate Robbins.
When you said "don't become a statistic person" a thought came to my mind: "let's become this NEW statistics" 💃🏽
Thank you Melz for what youre doing and for your no hesitations to open people's eyes even if the truth can be uncomfortable. That's power. 🤗
Shared with my kids. 43 and 38. I have lived in another country for 20 years. That is about to change. Can’t wait. We will still live in different communities, however the commute will be easier. They have children , and this will be an eye opener. Also for the time they don’t spend with each other.
I feel so lucky with my siblings . We are a family of 8 and every month we have a teams call on everyone's birthday or special days etc . We all live all over the place so this keeps us connected.
Time is flying by…..no you never know. My mom was here and active and still working….and then she fell and hit her head…..and w/n 5 months she was gone!😢
Such a moving episode. I think about these things alot, and I have been even more intentional about creating more time with people I love and less time and energy with things and people I have less affinity for.
What's the purpose of having children if you're not able to maintain a close relationship with them throughout life? Is it merely to contribute to the population of the planet?
Yes
To have a bloodline.
Moved to United States when i was 21 or 22 and only been to my birth country once since then for 2-3 weeks in 2013 (2014?). Patents used to come visit every other year, but they cannot travel since corona hit. Planning to bring both of my parent live with us (sister abandoned them even though she lived next house). I do not talk to my sister (guess why), I actually blocked her because I cannot deal with her toxicity. But I talk to my mom (pop is a weirdo, parent marries since 1981, they are 71/76 this year) every day, some times I call her two and even three times a day, because why not? I will be 35 this year.
Friends are changing through life, but family remains the same.
When I didn’t like people at work I was just getting a new one, so every 3-3.5 years I am back on market, which is actually a good thing to do anyways, I am in IT.
This is one of your best Mel !!! Great insight and advice ❤ BTW you always look so naturally beautiful at 55, could you please do a beauty podcast on skincare, exercise and aging. I’m turning 50 this year and I think so many would appreciate that. You are stunning inside and out 😊
I pray God to be always surrounded by those who truly loves from their heart, wheather thay may be my kids, my siblings,my friends,my relatives,my neighbours or any one comes in my life.
Money,Fame, Power or Beauty are the things are tested in time when you need them in need.
After loosing all the things if they realise and come to you it will not gave that happiness,which would have been shown at the testing time.
Any how our best companion is God.
May God bless good health, and best company in our loneliness at the late age of ours.
Learn how to be happy and at peace all the time with God as your protector.
I moved far away from my family and am deeply rooted in the area I live now and I regret it often.
Mel I love love love your videos and podcast….listening to you has helped me in so many ways.. can you do or have you done a segment on “how to tell your adult children no and not feel guilty about it”
“No when they ask for money no when they want you to keep paying for their phone bill no when they keep asking and asking promising to pay you back or do this and do that but yet they do nothing to help themselves”
And here I am 51 yrs old fostering my oldest grand daughter. And yet I feel guilty when I tell her mom no who is in her 30’s. Who promised to help with her oldest that I am fostering but yet nothing.
Help….😢😢😢😢
I work for myself, by myself. Favourite coworker me! I love what I do, and I don't want to go home at the end of the day.
Mel, your podcast is so valuable to me. This one inspired me to try get my siblings together for my Mom’s 5th birthday in Heaven. Our relationship suffered during my mothers long illness, we hardly see each other now and their children. Thankyou for inspiring me to make some changes within my relationships ❤
My family is estranged. My parents divorced and my dad remarried and replaced me with his step daughters. He was abusive to my mother and me. I’ve tried to reach out but ultimately realized he has no love for me at all. I care for my mom and I’m an only child. The uncles and aunts all are estranged too.
You're a good daughter. My dad is 80, and I visit once a year.
I enjoy my older son so much- since he’s been 16- he’s been so enjoyable I completely agree. Very different being a parent to an older child than a younger one.
I sent this to 6 family members and we are planning a family trip!!! Thank you Mel💖
I needed to hear all of this today. definitely bookmarking... love that Mel is so honest with herself and all of us
My wife is my best friend and I’m her’s. I really only care about spending time with her and our children. I love my parents and my siblings but we’ve grown apart. I enjoy what little time spend I do spend with them but living 3K miles apart makes it difficult to each other. I agree on the prioritization piece. I use to prioritize them but I realized I wasn’t being prioritized by them, the relationship wasn’t reciprocal. So, I moved on.
Thank you very much for this! I live in Prague, my parents back home in Australia, I have not seem them for 8 years, I speak to them, but that's not enough now that I've really thought about it, and this, it REALLY made me think about it. Again, thank you.
Different strokes for different folks and families.... I like being away from that which I did not, and could not choose,and if I had a choice,I would have avoided the family from which I originate...
I love the reminder to spend time with what and whom we love, specially family. I find that the topic of loneliness is superficially treated in this video. No, it is not easy to be alone. Humans need connections and hugs. Elderly people are suffering a lot more from lonelyness.
Thank you Mel. I agree. Family has ALWAYS been the most important thing to me. I know this. I am grateful for everything in my life, friends, especially. It’s important to prioritize and make them be a part of our lives to the degree in which we can; after all, they are 50% of the equation.
I could listen to Mel Robbins all day