If they are truly narcissists, having NPD, a truly painful personality disorder, that's their karma. They not only lost you, they lost everyone before you, and will continue to lose people after. Having people flee you in fear and anguish, or feeling you have to discard before they leave you, that's a lonely life. They want love and connection like we all do, but they can't maintain it. They are sick and need help. As much as my ex hurt me, I'll heal before he ever does.
But that’s not enough I had a narcissist trick me into thinking he was going to help me with my bills, and then he use my apartment as a hotel basically raped me and then discarded me and played the victim when I called the police
This is exactly why I didn’t go to couples’ therapy!! She refused to admit that she was devaluing and gaslighting me and certainly wouldn’t apologize and so I knew she would just try to convince the therapist that she was the “good” one and I was crazy. So, I’m glad I dodged that bullet! Thank you for this confirmation!!
Yeah, I couldn't get him to go to therapy. I broached it and he would agree, but he was waiting for me to do all the work. Just like he did w/ everything else he didn't give a damn about. I was so exhausted from dragging him through life, I could barely open a window by then. So I told him, if he really wanted therapy, he knew the Deacon and had the number even before I did. When he called to set it up, then I'd go. Of course that never happened. Kicked him out 6 months ago, when I saw the first text that proved he was cheating w/ the same half his age bimbo, again.
I feel sorry for the counselors that know one partner in the sessions is the type of narcissist that doesn't respond to therapy but senses the other spouse is desperate to make it work and trying to fix it. That's the thing...when a professional opinion is against how a heart feels. I really wish more narcissists that DON'T want help or accept there's a problem stop going after relationships. These narcissists don't want a relationship, they want the benefit of having on demand supply and gratification. Why can't they just go for situations that are purely transactional on both sides? Or is it me wishing these types of narcissists would just hook up with each other so they get a taste of their own medicine and leave alone the people who are truly looking for meaningful love
I think most of them really want love like the rest of us. When it's the real personality disorder, NPD, they just don't know how to have that in a healthy, non-destructive way. They don't plot on how to trap us to suck supply out of us like a vampire. Supply is a pretty terrible term. They are looking for validation and to boost a bottomless pit of self esteem deficit inside them. There are deep feelings of shame that they are looking to escape. It's a shame that I as am empathic person still find hard to fathom. there are some self aware channels like The Nameless Narcissist that do more than explain this, he turns the cam on and lets you see it in such a naked way, you can't help but feel compassion. I got out of a 10 year relationship w/ one. The pain he inflicted was incredible. Learning the real disorder from good channels that treat it w/ compassion helped me heal and accept far more than the plethora of narc abuse channels ever did. They help validate your hurt feelings, but do keep us in a perpetual victim mindset and that bothered me real quick. What's worse though, is they teach you that the pwNPD was doing it all on purpose all along, and I just don't believe that anymore. Those facts take so much of the sting and the helped my crushed esteem much more than being told what a victim I am.
We went to couples therapy, and it was effective mostly because we were already breaking up, so it was more for unpacking. I am the narc in our relationship, and I deserved losing my partner. I am working to get better, but I am only beginning. It will be a long process, and I do not want a relationship or contact with anyone I could potentially use as a supply. I only wish I would have become self aware earlier, and made changes. But, I will say, easier to work on my narcissism alone than try with a partner. I wish my partner a good life. She was justified in doing better for herself.
That's great that you are working to get better and staying single for your own healing journey. How old are you? And what made you realized that you are a narcissist? Do you feel true love for your partner or it was an illusion?
@@prietagarcia1155 I am in my 50s. I really got a lot of information from watching this channel, and Dr. Ramani. Made me realize exactly what I needed to discover and then started therapy, although I am changing therapists to one more able to work with narcissistic personalities. I do love my ex partner, but not in the way I should have in any way, shape, or form. There was not respect, and trust was broken. Our situation really worsened with even more discovery of how much I devalued and discarded someone so important and caring towards me. I think there was a great deal of illusion, sadly. I definitely realized how bad I am with this relationship. It has all come full circle.
@@Razorhaloforever Wow, well I hope stay in the healing path. Hopefully your ex partner goes to therapy as well and understand why you was awful to them and things get worked out in the future. Also seek God with him healing will be possible without having setbacks. The good thing is that you finally accepted and recovery before you get old. Have you ever truly loved someone at least once in your life? What you went thru as a child that made you a narcissist?
How did you find out you were a narc? Example.? Have you called to your partner a narc before you realize you were one? Cuz my ex did call me narcissist, when I have never called him like that. So I wonder if he was projecting.
@@alondraacosta-mora6504 I did not call my partner a narc, I feel like that would be projecting, which I have definitely been guilty of in other ways. She was a sensitive empath I am pretty certain. Our couples therapist felt that as well. There were several things in our relationship that made me realize I am a vulnerable, benign narc. But narcs can have other narc-type tendencies as well. For me, there was a lot of invalidation of my partner, gaslighting, devaluing that led to discard. I cheated for more supply, and now I realize how bad it all was. I am working on myself now, and my partner and I have broken up and gone no contact. She never called me a narc either, because she felt like that wasn’t her place to do so. It wasn’t until the end we both agreed that a lot of what happened to us was due to my narcissism.
Absolutely brilliant. I'm not reactive. And I'm doing me and I'm loving life . I've stopped thinking of her and I'm not ruminating anymore. I'm doing me and it feels boss. Omg it's the best thing I've ever done leaving the wife. But not the kids. There's a whole new world out there. It doesn't seem that way when your going through the pain and the hurt but you have to grow a pair of balls stop playing the victim and man the fuck up. They don't want you get on with it and get over it. I was with my wife for 22 years and ,6 kids later. Leaving the narcissist can be a blessing or a course. It is what you want it to be. So pick yourself up of the fucking floor and dust yourself of. You only have one life and fucking live it for you and fuck the narcissist. Seriously I'm 11 months on and 5 months ago I could not pick myself up of the floor. But I felt with the pain and I just got on with shit.
They do get karma i seen my ex narc lose everything when i was with her i couldnt understand why but then i started to think about how dirty she did her childs father karma knocked on her door
Might not work. Try to let go of that anger and find peace and forgiveness, w/out ever stopping holding him fully accountable for whatever he did. I thought it was bad enough too when he was running around w/ a girl half his age. I so dreaded bumping into them that I could barely leave, even for necessary food shopping. Then she finally dumped his old loser ass and now he's hoovering me. I think it was better when he was occupied too. You don't want to find out how insulting it is, when they cheated, you found out, gave one chance cuz it was supposedly just an emotional affair. He claimed he needed the attention because I neglected him so badly. Then they go back, get dumped and now I'm supposed to be his better than nothing, rainy day girl.
Losing you is their karma
If they are truly narcissists, having NPD, a truly painful personality disorder, that's their karma. They not only lost you, they lost everyone before you, and will continue to lose people after. Having people flee you in fear and anguish, or feeling you have to discard before they leave you, that's a lonely life. They want love and connection like we all do, but they can't maintain it. They are sick and need help. As much as my ex hurt me, I'll heal before he ever does.
But that’s not enough I had a narcissist trick me into thinking he was going to help me with my bills, and then he use my apartment as a hotel basically raped me and then discarded me and played the victim when I called the police
On point!
Their life is their “karma”
This is exactly why I didn’t go to couples’ therapy!! She refused to admit that she was devaluing and gaslighting me and certainly wouldn’t apologize and so I knew she would just try to convince the therapist that she was the “good” one and I was crazy. So, I’m glad I dodged that bullet! Thank you for this confirmation!!
Yeah, I couldn't get him to go to therapy. I broached it and he would agree, but he was waiting for me to do all the work. Just like he did w/ everything else he didn't give a damn about. I was so exhausted from dragging him through life, I could barely open a window by then. So I told him, if he really wanted therapy, he knew the Deacon and had the number even before I did. When he called to set it up, then I'd go. Of course that never happened. Kicked him out 6 months ago, when I saw the first text that proved he was cheating w/ the same half his age bimbo, again.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 oof, I’m so sorry! Good for you for kicking him out!
They do get karma as they always over play their hand. They lose in the end they are bitter sad people
I feel sorry for the counselors that know one partner in the sessions is the type of narcissist that doesn't respond to therapy but senses the other spouse is desperate to make it work and trying to fix it. That's the thing...when a professional opinion is against how a heart feels. I really wish more narcissists that DON'T want help or accept there's a problem stop going after relationships. These narcissists don't want a relationship, they want the benefit of having on demand supply and gratification. Why can't they just go for situations that are purely transactional on both sides? Or is it me wishing these types of narcissists would just hook up with each other so they get a taste of their own medicine and leave alone the people who are truly looking for meaningful love
I think most of them really want love like the rest of us. When it's the real personality disorder, NPD, they just don't know how to have that in a healthy, non-destructive way. They don't plot on how to trap us to suck supply out of us like a vampire. Supply is a pretty terrible term. They are looking for validation and to boost a bottomless pit of self esteem deficit inside them. There are deep feelings of shame that they are looking to escape. It's a shame that I as am empathic person still find hard to fathom. there are some self aware channels like The Nameless Narcissist that do more than explain this, he turns the cam on and lets you see it in such a naked way, you can't help but feel compassion.
I got out of a 10 year relationship w/ one. The pain he inflicted was incredible. Learning the real disorder from good channels that treat it w/ compassion helped me heal and accept far more than the plethora of narc abuse channels ever did. They help validate your hurt feelings, but do keep us in a perpetual victim mindset and that bothered me real quick. What's worse though, is they teach you that the pwNPD was doing it all on purpose all along, and I just don't believe that anymore. Those facts take so much of the sting and the helped my crushed esteem much more than being told what a victim I am.
We went to couples therapy, and it was effective mostly because we were already breaking up, so it was more for unpacking. I am the narc in our relationship, and I deserved losing my partner. I am working to get better, but I am only beginning. It will be a long process, and I do not want a relationship or contact with anyone I could potentially use as a supply. I only wish I would have become self aware earlier, and made changes. But, I will say, easier to work on my narcissism alone than try with a partner. I wish my partner a good life. She was justified in doing better for herself.
That's great that you are working to get better and staying single for your own healing journey. How old are you? And what made you realized that you are a narcissist? Do you feel true love for your partner or it was an illusion?
@@prietagarcia1155 I am in my 50s. I really got a lot of information from watching this channel, and Dr. Ramani. Made me realize exactly what I needed to discover and then started therapy, although I am changing therapists to one more able to work with narcissistic personalities. I do love my ex partner, but not in the way I should have in any way, shape, or form. There was not respect, and trust was broken. Our situation really worsened with even more discovery of how much I devalued and discarded someone so important and caring towards me. I think there was a great deal of illusion, sadly. I definitely realized how bad I am with this relationship. It has all come full circle.
@@Razorhaloforever Wow, well I hope stay in the healing path. Hopefully your ex partner goes to therapy as well and understand why you was awful to them and things get worked out in the future. Also seek God with him healing will be possible without having setbacks. The good thing is that you finally accepted and recovery before you get old. Have you ever truly loved someone at least once in your life? What you went thru as a child that made you a narcissist?
How did you find out you were a narc? Example.? Have you called to your partner a narc before you realize you were one? Cuz my ex did call me narcissist, when I have never called him like that. So I wonder if he was projecting.
@@alondraacosta-mora6504 I did not call my partner a narc, I feel like that would be projecting, which I have definitely been guilty of in other ways. She was a sensitive empath I am pretty certain. Our couples therapist felt that as well. There were several things in our relationship that made me realize I am a vulnerable, benign narc. But narcs can have other narc-type tendencies as well. For me, there was a lot of invalidation of my partner, gaslighting, devaluing that led to discard. I cheated for more supply, and now I realize how bad it all was. I am working on myself now, and my partner and I have broken up and gone no contact. She never called me a narc either, because she felt like that wasn’t her place to do so. It wasn’t until the end we both agreed that a lot of what happened to us was due to my narcissism.
A narc never apologize, i hate i stayed 20 yrs with this narc , she turn my only daughter against me
I did a spell on him IT WORKED 😂😂😂😂😂
Do tell. Lol
I did, too. It also has been helping me let go of the anger and grief. There's more peace than there used to be.
Ahahahaha nooo is that true?
Absolutely brilliant. I'm not reactive. And I'm doing me and I'm loving life . I've stopped thinking of her and I'm not ruminating anymore. I'm doing me and it feels boss. Omg it's the best thing I've ever done leaving the wife. But not the kids. There's a whole new world out there. It doesn't seem that way when your going through the pain and the hurt but you have to grow a pair of balls stop playing the victim and man the fuck up. They don't want you get on with it and get over it. I was with my wife for 22 years and ,6 kids later. Leaving the narcissist can be a blessing or a course. It is what you want it to be. So pick yourself up of the fucking floor and dust yourself of. You only have one life and fucking live it for you and fuck the narcissist. Seriously I'm 11 months on and 5 months ago I could not pick myself up of the floor. But I felt with the pain and I just got on with shit.
You can't ever heal properly if keep seeing yourself as the perpetual victim.
They do get karma i seen my ex narc lose everything when i was with her i couldnt understand why but then i started to think about how dirty she did her childs father karma knocked on her door
She sets the time frame to come back on me.
Now, I realised her how much she was a garbage.
Id rather my anger lock him in closer to the new supply so he doesn't come back.
Might not work. Try to let go of that anger and find peace and forgiveness, w/out ever stopping holding him fully accountable for whatever he did. I thought it was bad enough too when he was running around w/ a girl half his age. I so dreaded bumping into them that I could barely leave, even for necessary food shopping. Then she finally dumped his old loser ass and now he's hoovering me. I think it was better when he was occupied too. You don't want to find out how insulting it is, when they cheated, you found out, gave one chance cuz it was supposedly just an emotional affair. He claimed he needed the attention because I neglected him so badly. Then they go back, get dumped and now I'm supposed to be his better than nothing, rainy day girl.
Same i hope they get married so my life will be in peace