When Narcissist Acts Like Nothing Happened

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 ธ.ค. 2024

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  • @manzanitaverde5455
    @manzanitaverde5455 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Aww, yes, the famous "get over it, and stop living in the past" move!!

  • @the.toxic.phoenix
    @the.toxic.phoenix ปีที่แล้ว +24

    My nex did that. He'd either do this fake ass apology after backtracking, or if he did leave the room he'd come back like nothing happened, and if I was (inevitably) still upset when he came back then I'd be the one starting an argument!! 😳 And you're right, it definitely opened it up for it to happen again and again. It was like groundhog day in hell. The same weird circular arguments all the time.

  • @czecka143
    @czecka143 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Any time I brought up something that hurt me. Then he would get frustrated and say I was dwelling on it, even though he had just done the devaluing again

    • @candace8200
      @candace8200 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yup.

    • @nv_chino
      @nv_chino ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Don’t they all

    • @pams2750
      @pams2750 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same❤

    • @robin2319
      @robin2319 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Always the same shit just another day w a narc boyfriend. Im done ✔️

    • @amygrelecki2545
      @amygrelecki2545 10 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Same

  • @marcibarnes3422
    @marcibarnes3422 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    OMG!I have lived this for more years than I want to admit. SPOT ON!

  • @terrancemcclendon456
    @terrancemcclendon456 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    " how long ago was that" " let the past go"

    • @parent013
      @parent013 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This 100%. They do not have the honor to accept their own shame/embarrassment or they got caught. Nope, not going to forget the words you said, they hurt and abusive.

    • @terrancemcclendon456
      @terrancemcclendon456 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@parent013 no family or people are perfect but narcs smile and laugh shows malice

    • @saulescamilla3605
      @saulescamilla3605 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@parent013 to piggyback off what you said, they also don’t forget about what YOU said or did to them. Can’t stand those hypocrites! It’s always an issue that needs to be dealt with when YOU do something but when THEY do something we gotta get over it? Idk how I dealt with 7 years of that, thank God she discarded me!

  • @Coco-og7zw
    @Coco-og7zw ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I go thru this on a regular basis and can confirm that this is 💯% TRUE!!!!!

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    These behaviors are so so so so demonic it’s like everybody went to the same school to do the same games. There’s gotta be demonic spirits for sure.

  • @nancyjones9793
    @nancyjones9793 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Oh yeah, show up, move back in, and put his feet up. How about no? No way. Not again. You are right; there is no excuse for that kind of nuts.

  • @czecka143
    @czecka143 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    I am focusing on accepting my version of closure: the deception is over, he is dealing with a disorder, and I'm dealing with my Echoism disorder (one step away from codependent).
    Closure is accountability - to yourself and self respect

    • @junecoleman9030
      @junecoleman9030 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Tell me we were not being brainwashed …we allow ourselves to be taken hostage ..all to play happy families again …let’s be hyper aware of what’s going on so we can say STOP …YOUR GAMES ARE BULLSHIT

    • @junecoleman9030
      @junecoleman9030 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Tell me we were not being brainwashed …we allow ourselves to be taken hostage ..all to play happy families again …let’s be hyper aware of what’s going on so we can say STOP …YOUR GAMES ARE BULLSHIT
      Tell me would you bang your head physically against the wall until it’s a bloody pulp …

  • @aniou8126
    @aniou8126 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I just want to say that your videos are so incredibly validating. For decades I didn't know what it was that I was experiencing. I couldn't understand the duplicity - how someone could rage one minute and then act like nothing happened 10 minutes later. He expected me to just "get over it" and if I wanted to talk about it, he would accuse me of being "argumentative". It was beyond confusing, and I didn't know how to label it except to say he was like "Jekyll & Hyde" - sweet & charming to the outside world, while being a moody, inconsistent, angry, deceitful, rage-filled monster behind closed doors. Just awful. Thank you for bringing awareness to this insidious personality type.

  • @brendadean9291
    @brendadean9291 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    My ex narcissist husband told me the affair was meaningless and even told me that I should sleep with someone to see what he means. He also suspected a good male friend of mine of sleeping with me. I was never unfaithful. He told me I did not own him.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Unfortunately they will often project onto you. Reach out: www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

  • @angeliapage3518
    @angeliapage3518 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    My ex's favorite saying when I brought up something that he physically said or did was "that's your view of what happened, I see it differently". I was like you saying I didn't see with my own eyes or hear with my ears what was said or did? He'd say "yeah" that's how you interpreted what I did". I would be so confused as to why we both didn't see or hear the same thing. He rarely apologized for anything that he did or said, if an apology came it was days later and it was a half hearted one that was backhanded like, "I'm sorry I did x,y or z but u said this or that that's why I did what I did"🤦🏽‍♀️...

    • @candace8200
      @candace8200 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes! Same here. They are very very sick people.

    • @Hunstons_Herps
      @Hunstons_Herps ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes!! Mine went one step further and in family court accused his own 7y.o daughter of lying by stating "I didn't tell her her mummy has a bad brain so she can't see her. That's her childlike interpretation of what I actually said" needless to say no one believed him and I won my case!!

    • @wave8867
      @wave8867 ปีที่แล้ว

      Proper gaslighting.

    • @GoogleUser-pc6tu
      @GoogleUser-pc6tu 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same

  • @Imnotyourdoormat
    @Imnotyourdoormat ปีที่แล้ว +9

    which is every time.....

  • @pipergunderson-swaney4539
    @pipergunderson-swaney4539 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you- yup- we had an argument last night about him being distant suddenly again( he does this all the time recently) I slept on the couch- I have been here 17 yrs so I text I still love you and sent a Bible verse- no response- he gets off work at 3:30- 7:30 he rolls in- he just acts normal- oh are you doing art? I just said yes and left- seriously do not want to be around him. I don’t think he gets it- I am pretty much done and can’t even cry anymore. Too many times- only gotten worse- seriously he was not like this when we married- at least I didn’t get it. When his brother died in front of him- he just full on went weird.

  • @heathercarter2475
    @heathercarter2475 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I nearly killed myself behind one of them...to find out he didn't really love or care at all smh....awful, awful people. The ones that are ACTIVELY getting help that's great. The rest of you physically grown 3 year olds? Please walk off a cliff. I didn't deserve all the hell I got put through for trying to love and understand them. I knew something was off, I just didn't have a name for it. Now....I don't trust people, I keep most at a distance because I assume whoever tries too hard is suspect. It's a hard thing to try to heal and push through alone, but I'm trying

    • @Hunstons_Herps
      @Hunstons_Herps ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I'm right there with you! What you wrote could have been written by me!

    • @juliecarson4332
      @juliecarson4332 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I didn't think I would ever heal but I did 2 months after I kicked him out. Saw a text from a woman then found out everything- cheating and lying the whole 2 years. I cried, prayed, watched these videos, begged God to help me and joined a grief support group. My mom had just passed away also. I didn't think I was ready to date but I had to know if there was a good man out there. I knew Exactly what I was looking for and would not compromise or accept bs. I found a good man. Now the narcissist is trying to get me back after 2 months of no contact. All I can do is laugh at the stuff he comes up with. No narcissist can fool me again. This extremely painful experience had to happen to open my eyes and heal me from childhood trauma also. YOU CAN HEAL with God's amazing power and love.

    • @jacquelynhaas8184
      @jacquelynhaas8184 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​@juliecarson4332 so very sorry for your mom 😢😢 I don't know what the heck I would do if I lost my mom she is only one I have . I cannot stand my husband anymore because it is everything you described . Thank you for your strength and endurance as just reading this helps me .

    • @saulescamilla3605
      @saulescamilla3605 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@juliecarson4332I’m so sorry for your loss.
      Those monsters always discard you on your lowest. Not sure if you were or not but they do the most heinous things during the most troubling times! The narc I used to deal with left me when I was mentally on my lowest and had lost my grandma, my dad and brother in law passed away 2 years prior, less than a week apart which felt like its was less than that. On top of that dealing with her bs my mind was so overwhelmed, then out of the blue I find out she was seeing someone else. I felt so awful, but thanks to that moment the fire in my soul turned into a torch, then a bright light. That clown did not expect me to be so revived after she wanted me to be beyond miserable.

    • @juliecarson4332
      @juliecarson4332 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      💕 Yes. It was devastating. Lots of praying, crying, a grief support group and family got me through. After 9 months I’m close to trying dating but WILL look for the signs and WILL not compromise nor ignore my intuition. We can be strong and loving at the same time. But only loving to a man who deserves it.

  • @marycauchon4314
    @marycauchon4314 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    He just pushed everything under the rug. Having had his affair he came back and said now we’re even, WTH.
    I would hear I told you that already. Ah, no you did not. Then to myself I would question myself. Sometimes I felt like I was losing it or else going crazy.
    Having a conversation about issues I felt worse because the whole conversation was flipped and I was the bad guy. I just wanted to resolve the why’s and how can we make things better. I walked away crying or when he started yelling I would say I’m not talking to you until you can calm down. Silence was golden for hrs sometimes days.
    I am free thank god!

  • @swynn3
    @swynn3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    After he ran up on me with a gun and refused to admit to what he did and said that it had never happened, I've always wondered why he would never admit to it. Hearing you say that if they admit it, then it really makes them a bad person makes sense because he always professed/bragged about how peacful, calm, and slow to anger he was and him admitting to what he did would go against the lie that he told himself.

  • @amuddymoose
    @amuddymoose 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    This is honestly exactly what my life is like currently…it’s awful.

  • @stingyringpiece
    @stingyringpiece ปีที่แล้ว +5

    you've really helped me understand through your channel
    Thank you and kudos

  • @MasterSplinterPDX
    @MasterSplinterPDX 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Bruh, "self aware" is an understatement. You not only describe all of the narcissist's behavior to a T, but you perfectly explain the way the abused partner feels, too. Impressive!

  • @sushi603
    @sushi603 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Went through this everytime

  • @tyseanwilliams4985
    @tyseanwilliams4985 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My situation, he had a baby with his kids mom little cuzn, I found out 2 yrs later. He blamed me for his actions, he never really made me feel safe, secure and things just never got better, at least on my part. I have insecurities because of his actions and he always use my insecurities that he created against me. He never did the work to help me or us get to a healthier place, and we're still not in a good place. I believe he has mommy/daddy issues and Ex girlfriend issues and I'm catching hell. He really thinks he's norma. Lost myself/ confused.

    • @TryM.yVivier
      @TryM.yVivier ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too. This sounds Exactly like my situation.Ive become constantly suicidal, just so exhausted physically far away,having moved to a different state, not having any ties to anyone here, and trapped. Well, just know you're not alone&I will remember to say a prayer for you whenever you cross my mind ❤

  • @cassien7585
    @cassien7585 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    My inlaws. My FIL explodes says some really hateful things about my husband then visits us cheesing and smiling bringing gifts. He was offended we didn't invite him in the delivery room when our 3rd was born. Utterly delusional. This type of gaslighting enrages me bc not only do they wanna pretend it didn't happen they want YOU to pretend it didn't either.

    • @soniachambers6460
      @soniachambers6460 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The delivery room ? Hell no. 🤢what a pervert

    • @cassien7585
      @cassien7585 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @soniachambers6460 he think he belongs he everywhere. His entitlement is boundless

  • @korcampbell6096
    @korcampbell6096 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Yea so true I have experience it all

  • @Justadudeman22
    @Justadudeman22 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This teaching is a life saver. Thank you.

  • @caroleminke6116
    @caroleminke6116 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Every time that is how he acted except after the time a sheriff’s deputy escorted him off the property after he called 911… then he said it was horrible 🤦‍♀️

  • @swanam_1
    @swanam_1 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    If narcissists repress all of their feelings of guilt and shame, where does it all go? It has to exist somewhere buried in their mind. Sounds like absolute hell.

    • @L.RaeHoldt
      @L.RaeHoldt หลายเดือนก่อน

      Compartmentalize

  • @robin2319
    @robin2319 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    He would say why bring up the past wen im looking for answers and never got closure

  • @freedomofspeech6095
    @freedomofspeech6095 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    These narcs are hell bound. I’m 61 married to a narc for 50;can’t believe what I endured. I’m free now but how absolutely deserving of hell are these demonic souls. Such vileness!

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

  • @StevenHassall-u2g
    @StevenHassall-u2g หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is the video that gave me clarity. Me ex threw our baby in one of her rages and denied it happened... I was so confused..I now realize she's done this denial behaviour so many times. Thank you Ben, all of your videos have helped but understanding this aspect has been so confusing- now it's not... Thank you

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  หลายเดือนก่อน

      so sorry to hear that happened. i wish the best on your healing

  • @lizapedersen8435
    @lizapedersen8435 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you, thank you, thank you👏🏻 Ben.
    It’s so nice to hear you tell this, as if you were a fly on the Wall in our former house with my ex.
    And family and friends didn’t see that, often they saw my response to him, after he had be mistreating our daughter and myself😢

  • @michellek649
    @michellek649 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was helpful. Thank you so much. It's so sad that people have to deal with people like this. :(

  • @fingerlakespreppergrl
    @fingerlakespreppergrl ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Just last night in fact😔

  • @emmarae4322
    @emmarae4322 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    "Stop bringing up the past." You mean the past you never gave me clarity on?
    If you are innocent why do you want to not talk about it?

    • @tracieelrod7018
      @tracieelrod7018 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Mine would say ..” you can’t get clarity on everything “ I was if you tell the truth I could!

  • @lindabeeler6681
    @lindabeeler6681 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    OUTSTANDING. Thank you Ben Taylor so much.
    He was a platonic friend but for some reason I became his target. This video is precisely what he does. After a month I received a text stating he knew he’d been distant, and to “know that I think good thoughts of you. You are special.” While I knew something was up, this video helps me realize the ploy. My response was a day later after thinking about it. I calmly listed the cruel things he did, again, and that I do not believe his words of friendship bc they are 180 degrees from his actions. Now I understand that an apology is never coming. But at least he’s aware that I see through his mask. Checkmate bucko. If he needs a reverse dumping, he’s got it. You win. Okay. It’s yours. Now go away. I’m done. Thank you again Ben Taylor.

    • @NerdsWorldNYC
      @NerdsWorldNYC ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I had one of those too...
      FB group we were moderators.
      Cut them off in October of 2018 after they kept texting,texting.
      I was at a "convention that week" told them,no contact until afterwards because I would be TIRED ( and narc mom died the month before).
      They was relentless with texting late with their sad,sob story about their life.
      Like what??
      That Sunday morning I had enough,FB messaged them I was exhausted from the week and NEEDED a few days to relax and would contact them later in the week.
      Why they go into narcissistic rage on FB...writing how an individual (so-called friend-me) doesn't have a moment to listen to them during their issues and needing a listening ear.
      Wait...WTF?
      I started the blocking,than deleting them on FB and phone numbers,text messages from cellphone.
      I've been off FB for two years,I check every once in a while to clear messages because these idiots (tagging) don't realize you're gone.
      Three weeks ago they sent me a "Friend Request".
      They are crazy😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

  • @L.RaeHoldt
    @L.RaeHoldt หลายเดือนก่อน

    "Stop living in the past", "get over it or move on." I hate them.😢

  • @Fennerfunnyfarm
    @Fennerfunnyfarm 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This is one of his most infuriating behaviors; acting like nothing happened and pretending to be happy go lucky. Denial, name calling, accusations, etc., the come in 10 minutes later…Gives a kiss..”Hey, babe, what’s up? I pull back to look at him, think it’s a joke or something, and he says,, “see, this is why I stay distant, I try to get close and give affection and this is why I stopped, cause I can’t trust you, you live in the past, you’re always down or angry, you can’t move on, and you treat me like shit, no matter how hard I try” absolutely crazy making!

  • @maryambrose8466
    @maryambrose8466 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yes it happened.. happens

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I listen to this one over and over and over again and I will continue days ahead

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @IAMTheeMiss717
    @IAMTheeMiss717 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yep

  • @emmarae4322
    @emmarae4322 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    When he started the abuse again I was like the gloves are off...I'm bringing the past up again.

  • @Gothicforever1790
    @Gothicforever1790 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you. This is enlightening

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @KerriRivera-is8gj
    @KerriRivera-is8gj 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You are amazing...really great information. 100%

  • @cathy_clarinet
    @cathy_clarinet ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yes, what I’ve seen as well

  • @gulliver7419
    @gulliver7419 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I suspect my sister is an undiagnosed narcissist, you never want to get into an argument with them because you will lose big time. They will dominate, bombard, bully you, twist your words and you will leave feeling flattened and abused.

  • @wave8867
    @wave8867 ปีที่แล้ว

    Good video, my Mom would do this to me all the time. When I was a child and an adult too. Awful psychological abuse for sure.

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    SOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!

  • @stingyringpiece
    @stingyringpiece 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Ben,
    I could really do with an answer to this as I struggle with it
    What happens when a person doesn't act like nothings happened, just discards and doesn't give a shit??
    Clearly that's gas lighting too??
    Id end up thinking it was me and go grovelling
    thanks

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's a great question! You can discover the answer by joining our free masterclass at www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @janm9610
    @janm9610 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My now ex narc husband sexually texted my daughter in-law. Was my fault 🤯 can i say divorce

  • @SherryWallen-os8wj
    @SherryWallen-os8wj 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I’m trying to figure out were you a narc and learned from these behaviors? That’s great!

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      yes, We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @susankaranja7984
    @susankaranja7984 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My birthday is coming up and he told me I should let that day be a good day, he's working on doing something special for me but two das ago he was justifying keeping a certain relationship a secret and made me feel guilty for bringing it up. What should I do?

  • @emmamonroe3311
    @emmamonroe3311 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I do not think narcopaths do this. Mine didn’t but we also never lived together. I wonder if that happened to his daughters mother. She never called me to tell me who he was. She definitely in my opinion figured him out after the accident. They would FaceTime so he could speak to his daughter. I would have never dated him if he couldn’t speak to his daughter. After the accident I was beyond confused 😵‍💫😵‍💫🤯🤯👈🏻

  • @SERLake
    @SERLake 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Makes me sad that the mask is more important than genuine relationships with those who actually care about them and wish them well.

  • @nicholecornes1915
    @nicholecornes1915 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Hahaha

  • @CindyBennett13
    @CindyBennett13 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Confused ….bingo

  • @ric5403
    @ric5403 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My husband is pro at this and it leaves me feeling crazy even starting to question if it happened or not. I had a bloody ripped up jumper sitting on the floor with bruises and a slashed mouth and the next day he still acted like nothing had happened, He will tell me he did not do that