Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange. In those days, we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth.
@@EvilPaladin11 "Peace is a lie there is only Passion,Through Passion I gain Strength,Through Strength I gain Power,Through Power I gain Victory,Through Victory my Chain's are broken the Force shall free me." The Code of the Sith UWU
Me: "It's a shame that this is probably an April Fools joke, I would love to hear her cover that song/rap" This video: *ISN'T A HOAX* Me (with tears in my eyes): "There is a god"
Me: "Oh hey, someone did a cover of JoCat's song." Me: "Huh... don't really recognize the artist... she sounds good though." Cami-Cat: *Belts A Line* Me: "Oh! It's the Tiefling Bard!"
@@blakepainter19.0 When you "Belt" something, it means basically that you're singing very loudly. Cami-Cat's singing voice is very distinct when she does it making it easily recognizeable.
I've been a subscriber to Jocat for a while. This is a great cover of his song. I would love to see you guys to do a collab. I love your voice and music. You are ridiculously talented.
@@caninelupus8369 I believe - though I'm not 100% sure myself - they're referring to the image at 4:04, which shows Danarei Milos, Cami's tiefling bard that appears in many of her other videos (Like Maw of the King and Meet My Friends) that, most likely, could make someone question their sexual orientation with a quick-witted remark and a persuasion check, like most bards are known to. And, let's be honest, she does look undeniably proud of that fact there.
I guess they sneak in a half of one of those cloth centaur costumes, which bursts out before the centaur part. Then they use sleight of hand to ditch it without anyone noticing
I have two bards, a Changeling and a yuan ti, the changeling casts through drawings instead of singing, but I can imagine them making a colab were the yuan ti sings and the changeling changes into the different races and makes illusions of the ones they can't change into
No one else wants to do this... So here we go. 0:00 Intro - "So you picked your class Hold onto your ass, it's gonna get crass 'Cause race part of the role you can play Some sentient clay, a he, she or they A beast who gets real snarly And regular dude named Charley If homebrew's free, a big talking tree Welcome to A Crap Guide to D&D" 0:20 Aarakocra - "Aarakocra - a big fuckin' bird You got some wings so you can fly And if non-weapon melee is what's preferred They get sharp talons to bitch scratch a guy" 0:28 Aasimar - "Or maybe you're more of an Aasimar Still avian if you lower the bar Angelic people with radiant energy Or darkness if you flap your wings edgily" 0:34 Bugbears - "Bugbears aren't actually bears at all More like beastly orcs and just as tall But oddly sneaky and your arms are long So you're freakin' good at playing basketball" But if going full beast is a little too far You could always do half and decide to be a 0:43 Centaur - "Charging the enemy so they can't readily Get steadily back up while you stomp on them deadily" 0:50 Changeling - "For the sneaky bunch, the changeling is cool You make disguise kits a worthless tool You can change your face to whatever race There's nearly no limit on who you can fool" 0:55 Dragonborn - "Dragonborn - no, not the Skyrim kind Are likely the kid of a bard that'll find Dragons really hot, so now you shoot acid Or whatever other color your parent's preferred ass is" 1:04 Dwarf - "The typical Dwarf with a beautiful beard You work with your hands and are physically sturdy You seem informed about rocks which is weird Try not to obsess or the sesh'll get wordy" 1:10 Elves- "Elves are pompous pricks A dozen flavors to match and mix They live a long time, don't sleep, instead trance And are hard to be charmed, so bards, keep it in your pants" 1:17 Firbolg - "Pick a Firbolg to be a chill-ass cow Most of which have a druidic vow And don't ask how but they can turn Invisible, which is a big concern" 1:23 Genasi - "Genasi - elemental genie bastards One of four elements that they have mastered In some way, lets 'em do cool shit Like water-bend or have a fire breathing armpit" 1:32 Githyank and Githzerai - "Githyanki and githzerai Elves that look like they wanna die All they're about is how they clash Been around fourty years and their lore's still trash" 1:37 Gnome - "Shortstack (stack, stack, stack) - Gnome happy short folk Who are smart and wise and cunning and know how to Crack (crack, crack, crack) into good camouflage Be it sneaking or magic or cool roguish montage" 1:46 Goblin - "Whack (whack, whack, whack) is the goblin Small size, hits hard on your gnoggin' Their nimbleness makes it hard to keep pace They'll hide and bide, quick slide and hit your face" 1:52 Goliath - "Muscles are in, though I have bias So the hottest IMO is Goliaths They're 8 feet tall, have steel for their balls And can shrug off damage like one man riots" 1:59 Half-Elves - "Half-Elves - the mutts and mules of D&D Extra points to spend on two abilities And skills out the ass, it's the best of both races And backstories usually come from stupid places" 2:05 Half-Orc - "Half-Orc - like I said, muscles are in You're a ruthless brute who fights to win Your crits get crits and you can terrify And if you feel like it, you can say no when you die" 2:14 Halfling - "If your luck is nasty, the Halfling is good You re-roll ones and win like you should And you're hard to scare, so go party with a dragon And you can slip through if it's angry off the flagon" 2:20 Human - "Humans get a little bit of everything They lack gimmicks or special flair or any zing But are all around average you know how it is And the perfect pick if you're boring" 2:27 (Song Bridge) "Races, all the races Races, all the races There's plenty to choose from, too many, so come Witness the list of this guide to all of the Races (races), all the races" 2:54 Hobgoblin - "Hobgoblin, they trust in a code Be it God or communism or giant toad They’re a prideful chode, so whenever you fail The more watch you retry means you go beast mode" 3:02 Kenku - "If you're an edgy avian, the Kenku's sneaky Agile and crafty and can easily lie They can mimic voices to be a bit cheeky Too bad they get bullied because they can't fly" 3:09 Kobold - "The Kobold is a mischievous one They hate bright light and there's often more than one And they can trick dumb fools, then steal their jewels But ganging up together can be pretty fun" 3:16 Lizardfolk - "Guess it's the scaly hour 'cause Lizardfolk Have sticks up their ass and can't take a joke They can bite and craft and stay a while underwater And have hard-ass scales to block cannon fodder" 3:23 Loxodon - "Loxodon are straight up elephants Their large size and thick hide make them dense Got trunks to smell and are wise and mostly merry But piss one off and you'll see they're damn scary" 3:30 Fish - "Wanna breath underwater? Locathah is a fish A straight up fish, literally just a fish Your armor starts high and get tons of resistance But stay dry and you die, you're still just a fish" 3:36 Minotaur - "Big beastly bull is the Minotaur Got horns to charge if you run pretty far Make them shit their pants while you're at it Being big and scary is a habit, speaking of" 3:33 Orc - "Orcs, superstitious and strong But also often wrong with a minus 2 to Int That's okay, so to say, you're aggressive and massive Lotta angry parents means they're rarely passive" 3:50 Tabaxi - "Cat girls rejoice, Tabaxi is here Obsessed with stuff and quite the sightseer Fast like a cat, get claws and climb far Tons of coats like leopard and tiger and jaguar" 3:58 Teifling - "Tiefling is a demon with a lot of looks They're horny and hot and often a provoker In the lore anyway, a lot of hate It's normal I guess when you're a panty-soaker" 4:04 Turt- I mean Tortle - "If you wanna be big and reptilian Who's strong and hardy, then Tortle Has a shell that's AC is a million So have fun being a hermit immortal" 4:12 Triton - "Triton is just an aquatic elf Who evolved itself in the continental shelf And you're basically Aquaman, fish can understand you No, they won't do your laundry just 'cause you demand to" 4:19 Verdan - "The Verdan - like a goblin but pretentious Got some mind powers that'd make mystics contentious And a buncha passive shit, what is this, peace hour? Come back and talk to me when you learn real power" 4:25 Yuan-Ti Pureblood - "Yuan-Ti Pureblood - like humans but snakey Never make a date with one, I hear they're flakey Manipulative bunch with magic resistance Don't take their oral offer, no matter their persistence" 4:32 Kalashtar - "A spirit-human mix is the Kalashtar Got a lotta mind shit that's really bizarre Like telepathy, dream protectively Like angels if they couldn't be effectively: 4:39 Wannabe Furry - "The Shifter's like a half-lycanthrope With four different types with exclusive features You can't transform, at least not fully So you'll often look more like a freakish creature" 4:45 Simic Hybrid -"Simic Hybrids are random fusion Of aquatic things like a squid or a crab Gain bonuses depending which ones So have some big pincers for new ways to stab" 4:53 Warforged - "Warforged - robots forged for war Don't have to eat or sleep or breath and what's more Is you're tanky as well, being hard as steel The only downside is you'll never truly feel" 5:00 Vedalken - "Vedalken tells us nobody's perfect Look like Na'vi people without the long neck They get lots of bonuses to smarts, not shocking Good luck ever getting one to stop talking" 5:08 Ending - "And that's the lot and always remember Class-race importance is pretty seldom Use whatever you fancy, make a chubby fighter dancy Now you know how to pick your race, you're welcome" "Races, all the races Races, all the races There's plenty to choose from, too many, so come Witness the list of this guide to all of the Races (races), all the races" 5:43 The Void - "Ẻ̷̡̛̱͈͚̗̤͚͚̳̖͎̘͖͕͔̰̝̻̳̗̮̥̤́͛͋̆͌̀̿͋̒́̏͐́̾͆̕͠͝͠ͅͅͅņ̶̛̰̖̳̭̱̞̱̮̟͕̮͙͎̰̹̬̖̭̯̲̩̫̱̠̗̒̈́̾̔͑͋̐̉͊̈́̓̇́̎̉͋ḑ̴̛̬͇̤̯͎̥̮̭͓͎̦̩͚͍̪̪̜̄̀̎̅͆͛͌͛͒͆̃͌͗͆̂̾͂̎̅̕̕͜͝͝͠ ̷̡͕̰̙̜̮̘͔̖͎̺̠͕̎ͅr̵̢̢̢̧̢̮̟̬̞̤̖͖̳̩͇̪̠͖͖̙͔̼̯̭͓͇͈̹͕̪̓͐̓̉͊̃͊͊͘ͅă̷̠̤̣̖̎̿̓̔̍͗̑̓̀̑̾̄̇̉͛̕̕͝͝'̵̡̛͎̗̖̑̉̉͋̽͋͒̓̃̓̌͒̈̂͒̋͜y̶̭̲̠̺͈̫̺̣̭̺͖͆͛̅͒̄̿̌̈͐͋̊͌̎́̇̉͌̊̚̚̚͜ ̸̢̢̘̮̞̖͉̝̘͚̫̦̯̟͙̤̜͎̤͕̗͕͕̦̙̓̆͋͛̆͑̉͐͒̂̏̎̿͆̓̃͊̚͘͜͝ș̷̛̺̓͊͛̈́̉̀̎̍͌́́̐̈́͊̉̅́̉̏͆̇͘̕͠ă̶̡̧̺̹̻̲̹̗̥͔͎̙͖̖̩̬̜̫̏͜o̸̱̳̩̲̫̙͆̑́̀̉́̓̌̂͆͘o̵̢͓̲͔̙͚̱̦̳̞̦͔̼͙̦͎̻̝͓̻͔̲̭̬̹͒̉̈́̅͆̔̓̈̎͐͂̆̀͜v̷̢̧̖͔͉̜̖͙͎͖̱̬̹͔̩̟̈́́͐́̈́͊̌̿̉̋͑́̿̏́͊̒̽̅͌͊̑̏͆̾̀́̌̚͝͠ͅͅv̶̡̩̮͚̳͈͕͈̟̱̙̼̘̦͙̞̯͙̤̭̀̑̍̅̒̽́͌̏̾͐̆͊̑͌͑͆̃̐̍̕͝͝ȩ̵̧̟̖̩̼̦̯̼͉̙̱̳͕̼̺̝̹͈̬̩͉̤̹̰̄͌͌͑̐́͆̈̋̃̈́̑̀̏́̉͑̄̂͑̚ͅͅ'̷̡̨̛̜̰̣̠̈̊̾̎̾̔̍̆̈́͑̒͑̑͆̀̍̿̋̕͝͝r̸̛̼̂̎̓͌̍͊̎̃͛̐͋́͂͐̃͗̊̓̌̈̕͝͝r̷̡̨̢̧̜̥̬̤͇̱̰̩̦̮͙͖̯̩͖͔͓̮͚̥̹̹̻̟͂͋̓͐̋̒͒͒͐̀̍̅̀̉̓̾͘̕̕͜͠ȩ̷̧͔͍̦̦͇̲͉̝̱̫͉̤̙̩̥̈́́͜ͅȃ̴̲̤̩̬̰̆́̽͛̎̉̂̊͘͝ȩ̸̡͖̝̼̮̥̲̹̙̞̏̈́͗'̵̡̡̫̪̻͔͖̗͖͓̖̰͈͎͙̬͍̫͙̳̲̖͚̻͔̫͗̌͛̋̌̍̉̑̅̽̏̚̕ņ̸͈̼̝̺̼͍̗̝̮͔̗̅̋́͑̍̓̈́́̎̅͋͌̈̿͋̿̕̚͘͝͝v̶̙̮͎͎̻̣̭̝͖̩͚͕͈̋̀̑͑̒͊͑̽̿̈́̔̏̄͊̂̑͛̂́̆̃̕̕͝͠" 0:00 Replay
Humans: "the perfect pick, if you're boring" *Looks at all the human DnD characters I've had* Edit: okay this kinda blew up, so allow me to elaborate... I played: - A Paladin who lost his best friend due to drinking/gambling issues he had in his youth and decided to devote his life to Bahamut. - A ranger who was kicked out by his fiancee the night before their wedding and became an adventurer, writing a journal so he could get her back by proving his bravery. Also, he was from a desert. - an ex-soldier who got involved with some demons and ended up slaughtering and devouring his shieldbrothers, and later tried to hunt down the demon who got him to do it. - a young Wizard who had leprosy and would die soon, but hoped he could find a cure using necromancy.
The fact that you only discovered JoCat a week ago is astounding, but the fact that you manage to perfectly cover this song in just two days leaves me speechless.
Night of the fire dragon Yeah fr dude I despised elves for a while bc they were often portrayed like that but then I started being more versatile with them and giving them more personality and I can say I really enjoy them now. M
this just made me want to name a bar "The Immovable Rod" and the city just sort of grew up around it. No idea why. Just... why am i telling you this? i dont know im insane hold my /null/
Imagine you start playing DnD and want to inform yourself about the available races and your DM just starts spitting these lines in front of you for 6 minutes straight.
This might take some explaining but I've been working on being less emotionally repressed lately and this is one of those things that make me feel so much. Like I actually teared up a little. It's hard to express how important things like this are to me but, from the bottom of my heart, thank you
"So I just found out who Joecat about a week ago and I heard this rap 2 days ago it took me awhile to get it down, *you're welcome.* " Me: *the best April fools I could ask for*
god, Cami, I am a relatively new fan, but I can't stop coming back to this song! you have a really pretty voice and i simply love how you can throw in so much difference in ways of talking! you are simply amazing! keep up the great work!
I love all the backround shit makes it even better. I love both versions of this song and Cami's vocals almost make me cry in her songs because of how good they are
When the Chorus kicked in, I really felt that. Personally, I couldn't say which version of this song I prefer, since both have their strong points, but holy shit, that chorus is some of the best stuff I've seen in a while.
You have such a distinct awesome voice Miss Cami! :D This cover and Maw of The King are so cool mostly because your vocals are so cool! I am a singer as well so I feel very inspired to become better because of you!
The snippets of voices you did made it amazing I already loved this song and I was looking through the d&d playlist and found you covering it Thank you
OH.MY.GAWD. THIS WAS INCREDIBLE. Lady you're so damn talented. I listen to a lot of rap and play dnd and this was the best mashup of that I've ever heard.
Lovely. Absolutely lovely. I was there for a Crap Guide to Monster Hunter... and now here we are Being fair to the Gith, all of their cool lore is tied to Mind Flayers, and 5e really truncated all of that. Like, they are from the damn future! Tiefling gang here. Gota get good with my knives
yeah.. this is great, cami, you did it again. im going to be listening to this through out the day. possibly only but probably not, still, i'll come back to it often. great cover!
Thanks to this (& Jocat's original) Videoi got inspired to take a real deep look to all the races before picking one to make my character for my first campaign ever! Donny the Purple Monk Tortle thanks you :D
Considering tieflings and tabaxi are my go to non-homebrew, I loved the description. Especially my tiefling (charisma focused) assassin. Got a good portion of those story kills in a bed after all
Jo was epic in the way he compiled the song and his version was lit fire. Bud our cami here with her semi southan soul sound just gives some extra spice on the song
This was amazing. I knew of JoCat from DanPlan but never checked him out until like 2 weeks ago when I started getting into DnD, now I'm addicted to his crap guides. Thanks for the great cover
Omfg this is amazing! I love the og but i always felt that Jocats rapping voice was too monotone and didnt convey enough personality. This cover is literally perfect, you manage to convey all the jokes spot on and your voice is amazing!
OMG Cami this is brilliant XD Oh and Also Congratulations on 100k subscribers April fools! You're getting really close though! and I look forward to the day it comes ;3
This is fun I hope Jocat has seen this. The boy could use a confidence booster. Also liked when your Tiefling made an appearance really like her songs and her design is nice
"elves are hard to be charmed, so bards keep it in your pants." Me **designing elf bard** : "no one player should have that kind of power The clock's ticking', I just count the hours Stop tripping', I'm tripping' off the power (never mash up bards and elfs)"
![A Crap Guide to D&D [5th Edition] - Races](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/DBoqrSn1GR8/mqdefault.jpg)
![A Crap Guide to D&D - Races [JoCat & CamiCat Mix]](/img/n.gif)
Holy crap...
You have to do a colab, please!!
yes
Exactly
Yes! I'm like number sixty-nine lol.
JoCat my man nice to see you here
Now due to the law of equivalent exchange JoCat has to make a cover of “Maw of the King”
E Lindsey yes please
Sly Cooper yes
I need it.
Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return.
To obtain, something of equal value must be lost.
That is alchemy's first law of Equivalent Exchange.
In those days,
we really believed that to be the world's one, and only truth.
@@EvilPaladin11 "Peace is a lie there is only Passion,Through Passion I gain Strength,Through Strength I gain Power,Through Power I gain Victory,Through Victory my Chain's are broken the Force shall free me." The Code of the Sith UWU
A Cat covering another Cat's song
Coppy cats
Thank you for the ❤️ and the amazing cover, Cami
Catception
@@patrickdees5256 darn you got there before me
@@Pauli919 Beat me to it
Me: "It's a shame that this is probably an April Fools joke, I would love to hear her cover that song/rap"
This video: *ISN'T A HOAX*
Me (with tears in my eyes): "There is a god"
yeah her name is Cami-Cat
@@thealgorithm3412 No shes the god of belting and Singing
No it came out on April 2
@@garlicbreadcrumb3653 time zones
quick testimony if I will
God's not dead
and he knows you
so try to talk to him every now and then, alright?
Me: "Oh hey, someone did a cover of JoCat's song."
Me: "Huh... don't really recognize the artist... she sounds good though."
Cami-Cat: *Belts A Line*
Me: "Oh! It's the Tiefling Bard!"
i had this exact same thought sequence lmao
"Tiefling bard" huh, what a coincidence :p
Where does it say "belts a line"?
@@blakepainter19.0 When you "Belt" something, it means basically that you're singing very loudly. Cami-Cat's singing voice is very distinct when she does it making it easily recognizeable.
@@LeviathanTamer31 oooooh, okay, Thank you! :)
if Cami-Cat was a changeling and shifted to be JoCat then would she be a Copy-Cat?
This is a underrated comment
@@sprinklextreme4129 agreed
memento mori friend
@@acrylixdraws Momento morri
Why do I feel like This is a pun?
Wonderful cover of JoCat’s
I've been a subscriber to Jocat for a while. This is a great cover of his song. I would love to see you guys to do a collab. I love your voice and music. You are ridiculously talented.
yes
@@silent04_ what?
And if you look closer, you'll notice JoCat actually gave her a shoutout on his Discord. Congrats!!!
Um wouldnt call this a cover shes even naming herself like jo-cat
"It's normal I guess when you're a panty-soakeeeer~ !"
*heavy breathing in loving tieflings even more than before just because of that line*
🔫
🔫
🔫
Oi, what with gunning down a random satanist
They're water pistols.
When someone ask the DM what race they should play
they wouldn't say changeling though :(
@@antoniocarniero5138 you need a good dm to be willing to do that.
I would like to say that as a DM I really like the dwarfs best
Homebrew ftw! www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/fbwoxt/art_half_dragon_player_race_finalized_after/
I did this to my group of fourth graders
I love the doodle of Dani that is 100% proud of the fact that she could change someone's sexuality in one conversation
I’m gay and I can confirm
I'm curious now. Can I have context please?
Please I need context
@@caninelupus8369 I believe - though I'm not 100% sure myself - they're referring to the image at 4:04, which shows Danarei Milos, Cami's tiefling bard that appears in many of her other videos (Like Maw of the King and Meet My Friends) that, most likely, could make someone question their sexual orientation with a quick-witted remark and a persuasion check, like most bards are known to. And, let's be honest, she does look undeniably proud of that fact there.
My heterosexuality is in full health and currently has a Haste active.
This has been a crap guide to covers.
You're welcome.
i might write parody lyrics of this song cuz of u lol, thanks
Hell yea
Thank you
"A lot of hate in the lore anyway, it's normal I guess when you're a-"
*Danarei pops up*
"PANTY SOAKERRRRRRR~~"
Favorite line
4:01 for anyone who wants to skip straight to the line.
@@angrygnome44 You sir or Ma'am, are a saint
Where can find more of the characters.
That not draenei tail, definitely her avatar
My favorite of Jocat's guides, honestly. AND YOU PULL IT OFF SO WELL
Not even the wizards?
@@cadend6925 Wizards is a close second.
v13kobold
Evocation, elements to burn or shock or freeze your friends!
@@renkalan8587 necromancy spares the dying, or you can just resurrect them! That song is my ringtone.
I prefer the Warlock's, namely because it confirms the FeliciaxSasha/BardxPaladin ship sailed
"Elves are hard to be charmed."
Bards: You underestimate my power!
And much like the last guy who said this you will likely fail spectuarly and get all your limbs get cut off
@@buddyb3165 And what if I put on this nice hat. *Puts on an Ugly hat with +20 charisma.*
@@supersaiyandinosaur9577 yeah like that's gonna change anything WHY DID I LIKE THE COMMENT?
Nice to meet another man (or women) of culture who has found SWE
Just because they are immune to magical charm doesn't mean you can't Persuasion check into their pants.
Them subtle callouts on yourself lmao (RIP ur half elf)
I love the character you added to this, and you really nailed the whole thing!!!
thank you Bro, much love
@@Cami-Cat 'Scuse me, Cami. I wanted to know if there was any way to learn more about your characters or campaigns?
JoshtheOverlander just leaving this here so I also know
Never in my life did I think I’d hear Cami say “panty soaker” but here we are
Dakota Metzgar honestly my fav part
4:03 for those who want to play it over and over again
Danarei Milos popping up made it even better! 😂
4:04
Can someone explain that joke
Cami: "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I CAN RAP"
Also Cami
There is a limit to fast I can speak, and even then certain words I can't enunciate as well as others.
@@Cami-Cat Sounds like you need to binge Eminem's Rap God.
#RapBardGang
@@Cami-Cat You don't have to speak fast to have mad flow.
@Cami-Cat
I know I'm late so you probably won't see this but honestly this is what I consider the perfect speed for a good rap
"It's normal i guess when you're a panty-soaker"
*Danarei Milos appears*
She's not wrong.
Yes!!!!!
Danarei Milos? is she daughter of a human barbar named Ricardo Milos
Did a sketch of Jester appear when she said that line?
@@acarnivorouslizardfolk1033 No. That is Danarei Milos, Cami-Cat's D&D character, seen in a number of her songs, like "Meet My Friends".
Broooo, I hope someone is sharing this to JoCat. This is fantastic!
He posted it on his channel feed.
He's the pinned comment.
Why do I feel like this would be the PERFECT song to be sung by a changeling bard.
I know what I'm playing next
Voice changes for the different races, as well as visual representation
I guess they sneak in a half of one of those cloth centaur costumes, which bursts out before the centaur part. Then they use sleight of hand to ditch it without anyone noticing
I have two bards, a Changeling and a yuan ti, the changeling casts through drawings instead of singing, but I can imagine them making a colab were the yuan ti sings and the changeling changes into the different races and makes illusions of the ones they can't change into
hey! that's what I'm going to play for a D&D campain
Praise the Bardic Goddess
Praise the heart
No one else wants to do this... So here we go.
0:00 Intro -
"So you picked your class
Hold onto your ass, it's gonna get crass
'Cause race part of the role you can play
Some sentient clay, a he, she or they
A beast who gets real snarly
And regular dude named Charley
If homebrew's free, a big talking tree
Welcome to A Crap Guide to D&D"
0:20 Aarakocra -
"Aarakocra - a big fuckin' bird
You got some wings so you can fly
And if non-weapon melee is what's preferred
They get sharp talons to bitch scratch a guy"
0:28 Aasimar -
"Or maybe you're more of an Aasimar
Still avian if you lower the bar
Angelic people with radiant energy
Or darkness if you flap your wings edgily"
0:34 Bugbears -
"Bugbears aren't actually bears at all
More like beastly orcs and just as tall
But oddly sneaky and your arms are long
So you're freakin' good at playing basketball"
But if going full beast is a little too far
You could always do half and decide to be a
0:43 Centaur -
"Charging the enemy so they can't readily
Get steadily back up while you stomp on them deadily"
0:50 Changeling -
"For the sneaky bunch, the changeling is cool
You make disguise kits a worthless tool
You can change your face to whatever race
There's nearly no limit on who you can fool"
0:55 Dragonborn -
"Dragonborn - no, not the Skyrim kind
Are likely the kid of a bard that'll find
Dragons really hot, so now you shoot acid
Or whatever other color your parent's preferred ass is"
1:04 Dwarf -
"The typical Dwarf with a beautiful beard
You work with your hands and are physically sturdy
You seem informed about rocks which is weird
Try not to obsess or the sesh'll get wordy"
1:10 Elves-
"Elves are pompous pricks
A dozen flavors to match and mix
They live a long time, don't sleep, instead trance
And are hard to be charmed, so bards, keep it in your pants"
1:17 Firbolg -
"Pick a Firbolg to be a chill-ass cow
Most of which have a druidic vow
And don't ask how but they can turn
Invisible, which is a big concern"
1:23 Genasi -
"Genasi - elemental genie bastards
One of four elements that they have mastered
In some way, lets 'em do cool shit
Like water-bend or have a fire breathing armpit"
1:32 Githyank and Githzerai -
"Githyanki and githzerai
Elves that look like they wanna die
All they're about is how they clash
Been around fourty years and their lore's still trash"
1:37 Gnome -
"Shortstack (stack, stack, stack) - Gnome happy short folk
Who are smart and wise and cunning and know how to
Crack (crack, crack, crack) into good camouflage
Be it sneaking or magic or cool roguish montage"
1:46 Goblin -
"Whack (whack, whack, whack) is the goblin
Small size, hits hard on your gnoggin'
Their nimbleness makes it hard to keep pace
They'll hide and bide, quick slide and hit your face"
1:52 Goliath -
"Muscles are in, though I have bias
So the hottest IMO is Goliaths
They're 8 feet tall, have steel for their balls
And can shrug off damage like one man riots"
1:59 Half-Elves -
"Half-Elves - the mutts and mules of D&D
Extra points to spend on two abilities
And skills out the ass, it's the best of both races
And backstories usually come from stupid places"
2:05 Half-Orc -
"Half-Orc - like I said, muscles are in
You're a ruthless brute who fights to win
Your crits get crits and you can terrify
And if you feel like it, you can say no when you die"
2:14 Halfling -
"If your luck is nasty, the Halfling is good
You re-roll ones and win like you should
And you're hard to scare, so go party with a dragon
And you can slip through if it's angry off the flagon"
2:20 Human -
"Humans get a little bit of everything
They lack gimmicks or special flair or any zing
But are all around average you know how it is
And the perfect pick if you're boring"
2:27 (Song Bridge)
"Races, all the races
Races, all the races
There's plenty to choose from, too many, so come
Witness the list of this guide to all of the
Races (races), all the races"
2:54 Hobgoblin -
"Hobgoblin, they trust in a code
Be it God or communism or giant toad
They’re a prideful chode, so whenever you fail
The more watch you retry means you go beast mode"
3:02 Kenku -
"If you're an edgy avian, the Kenku's sneaky
Agile and crafty and can easily lie
They can mimic voices to be a bit cheeky
Too bad they get bullied because they can't fly"
3:09 Kobold -
"The Kobold is a mischievous one
They hate bright light and there's often more than one
And they can trick dumb fools, then steal their jewels
But ganging up together can be pretty fun"
3:16 Lizardfolk -
"Guess it's the scaly hour 'cause Lizardfolk
Have sticks up their ass and can't take a joke
They can bite and craft and stay a while underwater
And have hard-ass scales to block cannon fodder"
3:23 Loxodon -
"Loxodon are straight up elephants
Their large size and thick hide make them dense
Got trunks to smell and are wise and mostly merry
But piss one off and you'll see they're damn scary"
3:30 Fish -
"Wanna breath underwater? Locathah is a fish
A straight up fish, literally just a fish
Your armor starts high and get tons of resistance
But stay dry and you die, you're still just a fish"
3:36 Minotaur -
"Big beastly bull is the Minotaur
Got horns to charge if you run pretty far
Make them shit their pants while you're at it
Being big and scary is a habit, speaking of"
3:33 Orc -
"Orcs, superstitious and strong
But also often wrong with a minus 2 to Int
That's okay, so to say, you're aggressive and massive
Lotta angry parents means they're rarely passive"
3:50 Tabaxi -
"Cat girls rejoice, Tabaxi is here
Obsessed with stuff and quite the sightseer
Fast like a cat, get claws and climb far
Tons of coats like leopard and tiger and jaguar"
3:58 Teifling -
"Tiefling is a demon with a lot of looks
They're horny and hot and often a provoker
In the lore anyway, a lot of hate
It's normal I guess when you're a panty-soaker"
4:04 Turt- I mean Tortle -
"If you wanna be big and reptilian
Who's strong and hardy, then Tortle
Has a shell that's AC is a million
So have fun being a hermit immortal"
4:12 Triton -
"Triton is just an aquatic elf
Who evolved itself in the continental shelf
And you're basically Aquaman, fish can understand you
No, they won't do your laundry just 'cause you demand to"
4:19 Verdan -
"The Verdan - like a goblin but pretentious
Got some mind powers that'd make mystics contentious
And a buncha passive shit, what is this, peace hour?
Come back and talk to me when you learn real power"
4:25 Yuan-Ti Pureblood -
"Yuan-Ti Pureblood - like humans but snakey
Never make a date with one, I hear they're flakey
Manipulative bunch with magic resistance
Don't take their oral offer, no matter their persistence"
4:32 Kalashtar -
"A spirit-human mix is the Kalashtar
Got a lotta mind shit that's really bizarre
Like telepathy, dream protectively
Like angels if they couldn't be effectively:
4:39 Wannabe Furry -
"The Shifter's like a half-lycanthrope
With four different types with exclusive features
You can't transform, at least not fully
So you'll often look more like a freakish creature"
4:45 Simic Hybrid -"Simic Hybrids are random fusion
Of aquatic things like a squid or a crab
Gain bonuses depending which ones
So have some big pincers for new ways to stab"
4:53 Warforged -
"Warforged - robots forged for war
Don't have to eat or sleep or breath and what's more
Is you're tanky as well, being hard as steel
The only downside is you'll never truly feel"
5:00 Vedalken -
"Vedalken tells us nobody's perfect
Look like Na'vi people without the long neck
They get lots of bonuses to smarts, not shocking
Good luck ever getting one to stop talking"
5:08 Ending -
"And that's the lot and always remember
Class-race importance is pretty seldom
Use whatever you fancy, make a chubby fighter dancy
Now you know how to pick your race, you're welcome"
"Races, all the races
Races, all the races
There's plenty to choose from, too many, so come
Witness the list of this guide to all of the
Races (races), all the races"
5:43 The Void -
"Ẻ̷̡̛̱͈͚̗̤͚͚̳̖͎̘͖͕͔̰̝̻̳̗̮̥̤́͛͋̆͌̀̿͋̒́̏͐́̾͆̕͠͝͠ͅͅͅņ̶̛̰̖̳̭̱̞̱̮̟͕̮͙͎̰̹̬̖̭̯̲̩̫̱̠̗̒̈́̾̔͑͋̐̉͊̈́̓̇́̎̉͋ḑ̴̛̬͇̤̯͎̥̮̭͓͎̦̩͚͍̪̪̜̄̀̎̅͆͛͌͛͒͆̃͌͗͆̂̾͂̎̅̕̕͜͝͝͠ ̷̡͕̰̙̜̮̘͔̖͎̺̠͕̎ͅr̵̢̢̢̧̢̮̟̬̞̤̖͖̳̩͇̪̠͖͖̙͔̼̯̭͓͇͈̹͕̪̓͐̓̉͊̃͊͊͘ͅă̷̠̤̣̖̎̿̓̔̍͗̑̓̀̑̾̄̇̉͛̕̕͝͝'̵̡̛͎̗̖̑̉̉͋̽͋͒̓̃̓̌͒̈̂͒̋͜y̶̭̲̠̺͈̫̺̣̭̺͖͆͛̅͒̄̿̌̈͐͋̊͌̎́̇̉͌̊̚̚̚͜ ̸̢̢̘̮̞̖͉̝̘͚̫̦̯̟͙̤̜͎̤͕̗͕͕̦̙̓̆͋͛̆͑̉͐͒̂̏̎̿͆̓̃͊̚͘͜͝ș̷̛̺̓͊͛̈́̉̀̎̍͌́́̐̈́͊̉̅́̉̏͆̇͘̕͠ă̶̡̧̺̹̻̲̹̗̥͔͎̙͖̖̩̬̜̫̏͜o̸̱̳̩̲̫̙͆̑́̀̉́̓̌̂͆͘o̵̢͓̲͔̙͚̱̦̳̞̦͔̼͙̦͎̻̝͓̻͔̲̭̬̹͒̉̈́̅͆̔̓̈̎͐͂̆̀͜v̷̢̧̖͔͉̜̖͙͎͖̱̬̹͔̩̟̈́́͐́̈́͊̌̿̉̋͑́̿̏́͊̒̽̅͌͊̑̏͆̾̀́̌̚͝͠ͅͅv̶̡̩̮͚̳͈͕͈̟̱̙̼̘̦͙̞̯͙̤̭̀̑̍̅̒̽́͌̏̾͐̆͊̑͌͑͆̃̐̍̕͝͝ȩ̵̧̟̖̩̼̦̯̼͉̙̱̳͕̼̺̝̹͈̬̩͉̤̹̰̄͌͌͑̐́͆̈̋̃̈́̑̀̏́̉͑̄̂͑̚ͅͅ'̷̡̨̛̜̰̣̠̈̊̾̎̾̔̍̆̈́͑̒͑̑͆̀̍̿̋̕͝͝r̸̛̼̂̎̓͌̍͊̎̃͛̐͋́͂͐̃͗̊̓̌̈̕͝͝r̷̡̨̢̧̜̥̬̤͇̱̰̩̦̮͙͖̯̩͖͔͓̮͚̥̹̹̻̟͂͋̓͐̋̒͒͒͐̀̍̅̀̉̓̾͘̕̕͜͠ȩ̷̧͔͍̦̦͇̲͉̝̱̫͉̤̙̩̥̈́́͜ͅȃ̴̲̤̩̬̰̆́̽͛̎̉̂̊͘͝ȩ̸̡͖̝̼̮̥̲̹̙̞̏̈́͗'̵̡̡̫̪̻͔͖̗͖͓̖̰͈͎͙̬͍̫͙̳̲̖͚̻͔̫͗̌͛̋̌̍̉̑̅̽̏̚̕ņ̸͈̼̝̺̼͍̗̝̮͔̗̅̋́͑̍̓̈́́̎̅͋͌̈̿͋̿̕̚͘͝͝v̶̙̮͎͎̻̣̭̝͖̩͚͕͈̋̀̑͑̒͊͑̽̿̈́̔̏̄͊̂̑͛̂́̆̃̕̕͝͠"
0:00 Replay
T h e V o i d
Why... why have you done this?
De-Ter-Mi-Na-Tion!
@@mannylight4280 I have a great answer :D
I don't know.
Edit 1: added lyrics... kill me.
"Crap Rap to Races cover by Cami-"
LIKED
Most People: April Fools Day, time for pranks and other shit
Cami: April Fools? NAH LET'S MAKE THE BEST COVER EVER XD
One of my favorite youtubers: makes song.
One of my other favorite youtubers: makes of cover of it.
Me: this is the good yes more
"Elves that look like the wanna die" -mood
Also that part about backstories coming from stupid places for half elves hurt me.
Humans: "the perfect pick, if you're boring"
*Looks at all the human DnD characters I've had*
Edit: okay this kinda blew up, so allow me to elaborate... I played:
- A Paladin who lost his best friend due to drinking/gambling issues he had in his youth and decided to devote his life to Bahamut.
- A ranger who was kicked out by his fiancee the night before their wedding and became an adventurer, writing a journal so he could get her back by proving his bravery. Also, he was from a desert.
- an ex-soldier who got involved with some demons and ended up slaughtering and devouring his shieldbrothers, and later tried to hunt down the demon who got him to do it.
- a young Wizard who had leprosy and would die soon, but hoped he could find a cure using necromancy.
Let me guess... most of then were fighters?
@@akrom2010 A Necromancer, a Ranger, a Paladin and a... Fighter... who was also a cannibal.
Ya basic.
@@silvercandra4275 "Teach me".jpg
tenor.com/es/ver/teach-me-dr-strange-gif-13405856
if you need a race to be "entertaining" you're probably uncreative in general.
The fact that you only discovered JoCat a week ago is astounding, but the fact that you manage to perfectly cover this song in just two days leaves me speechless.
nobody in this godforsaken world:
cami using a funny voice: ELVES ARE POMPOUS PRICKS
Eh, it's kinda a universal fact.
Elena Friese Scoia’tael. That’s all.
I just want to say that is so true unless I play as one because all the other people that I know that play them act like pricks all the time.
Night of the fire dragon Yeah fr dude I despised elves for a while bc they were often portrayed like that but then I started being more versatile with them and giving them more personality and I can say I really enjoy them now. M
Hah! You haven't seen Dragons yet :) www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/fbwoxt/art_half_dragon_player_race_finalized_after/
This picture of cami-cat just SCREAMS "Are you sure about that?"
The experienced DM walks into a bar...
Hold my dice
Gamer Bros there needs to be a skit we’re the DM arrives and just starts this rap to introduce the players choices
this just made me want to name a bar "The Immovable Rod" and the city just sort of grew up around it. No idea why. Just... why am i telling you this? i dont know im insane hold my /null/
"The only downside You'll never truly feel"
I see that as an absolute win!
The cover we didn’t know we needed
I love how Cami’s PCs show up. Favorite is the Tielfing showing up
This is such a good cover!
I love how you put you own spin on it with the different emphasis on special words.
Just amazing! Great job!
Imagine you start playing DnD and want to inform yourself about the available races and your DM just starts spitting these lines in front of you for 6 minutes straight.
Honestly I was thinking about a character idea and didn’t know the race so the race song it is
I love how Danarei just drops in to yell "PANTY SOAKER!!"
So when does Danerai Milos get to meet JoCrap? Seriously though you two should absolutely try to do a collab.
I would likely imagine both Tiefling bards would meet instead.
IT JUST HAPPENED!!!!!!!!
th-cam.com/video/QK8XbI1JKVQ/w-d-xo.html at 1:18
This aged well
"And now you know how to make a cover, YOU'RE WELCOME"
This might take some explaining but I've been working on being less emotionally repressed lately and this is one of those things that make me feel so much. Like I actually teared up a little. It's hard to express how important things like this are to me but, from the bottom of my heart, thank you
"So I just found out who Joecat about a week ago and I heard this rap 2 days ago it took me awhile to get it down, *you're welcome.* "
Me: *the best April fools I could ask for*
Ha come back and comment when you've learned *"REAL POWER"*
Having Danni pop out during the tiefling bit was Just great. Best Tiefling Girl xp
I agree is just amazeing
The addition of voices to fit each race is damn nice to hear, it adds to much flavor!
god, Cami, I am a relatively new fan, but I can't stop coming back to this song! you have a really pretty voice and i simply love how you can throw in so much difference in ways of talking! you are simply amazing! keep up the great work!
I love the harimzation when you sang the "all the races." Also, possible collab???
Yes. Must happen. Get the two of them to sing a D&D song together.
Signed.
You predicted the future
I just realized that this this whole song is in (Almost) Alphabetical Order, and this is like the 20th time I've listened to it XD .
Me too...
*See’s Cami-cat d&d video, put’s in “music video” playlist.”*
*Watches video, removes it from music video playlist*
*Likes and favorites, instead.*
You had me in the first half not gonna lie
I am so glad you added subtitles because I have been hearing it as vibrating armpit instead of fire breathing armpit.
Is this supposed to be April Fools? This is a blessing, not a prank. XD
The different voices for the races were amazing, i particularly liked the voices for Tabaxi, Minotaur and Firbolg.
I was wondering when you'd find JoCat
I love all the backround shit makes it even better. I love both versions of this song and Cami's vocals almost make me cry in her songs because of how good they are
You did not do this. You did not just make one of my favorite joke songs 10x better
When the Chorus kicked in, I really felt that. Personally, I couldn't say which version of this song I prefer, since both have their strong points, but holy shit, that chorus is some of the best stuff I've seen in a while.
D&D: There is no wrong answer for your race and class.
Player: Human Fighter.
D&D: There is 1 wrong answer for your race and class.
Unless you're an Eldritch Knight.
It isn’t wrong just extremely boring and basic.
You're right, that answer is only wrong because you used the wrong name. The combination of Human and Fighter is commonly called a Feater.
When your first dnd game was
1.a human only game
2. No true magic
Had little to choose from...
@@stalebagelman8542 Human Magicless Bard, It works.
"elves are hard to be charmed"
Cof cof... Someone forgot to tell this to a cursed satyr... He almost took my Drow...
We need a mix that's both versions either at the same time or where Cami and Jo take turns with the lyrics
I didn't even know that I would want a cover of this song until now and I'm glad I know it exists
I was listening to this just a couple days ago, goddammit Cami.
You have such a distinct awesome voice Miss Cami! :D
This cover and Maw of The King are so cool mostly because your vocals are so cool!
I am a singer as well so I feel very inspired to become better because of you!
I love a crap guide to dnd, I love cami-cat's voice... I can die with no regrets
Like
The snippets of voices you did made it amazing
I already loved this song and I was looking through the d&d playlist and found you covering it
Thank you
Lol Did not expect this for April Fools Day!
Me, New to DND: Write that down! *WRITE THAT DOWN!*
Edit: I was new to DND when I first found this song. I decided on the Changeling thanks to this-
Tiefling is my favorite race to play. So I laughed hard when I heard that section.
OH.MY.GAWD. THIS WAS INCREDIBLE. Lady you're so damn talented. I listen to a lot of rap and play dnd and this was the best mashup of that I've ever heard.
I love how as the song goes on you just keep getting more and more in character
"You know you're in trouble when the DM smiles....."
Lovely. Absolutely lovely. I was there for a Crap Guide to Monster Hunter... and now here we are
Being fair to the Gith, all of their cool lore is tied to Mind Flayers, and 5e really truncated all of that. Like, they are from the damn future!
Tiefling gang here. Gota get good with my knives
yeah.. this is great, cami, you did it again. im going to be listening to this through out the day. possibly only but probably not, still, i'll come back to it often. great cover!
XD oh my god that danarei Milos in the Tiefling section XD she has no regrets about the stereotypes i can see XD
0:23)) everyone: listening to the lyrics
Me: *hears a faint CAWWW in the background*
Also me: CAWWWW
me: *hearing faint kobold noises at **3:10*
also me:ah so my kobold brothers and sisters are stealing everyones wallets good
So... How do you keep rolling Nat 20s for performance?
*TELL US YOUR SECRET*
weighted dice thats my guess
more like the take a 20 option in 3.5 aka do it till it s perfect then post that one
repeated takes on rolls until that nat 20 happens.
She doesn't post the nat 1's, lol
Diva nation wizard eloquence bard
oml Cami. This is one of the main reasons, if not THE main reason I got into D&D.
Thank you. Thank you so much
Thanks to this (& Jocat's original) Videoi got inspired to take a real deep look to all the races before picking one to make my character for my first campaign ever! Donny the Purple Monk Tortle thanks you :D
I instantly chose half-orc for my barbarian just to have my crits have crits and to say "NO" to death when im killed
Hey, that's pretty good-
It seems to get better as time goes on. Huh.
Thank you for this gift of a parody Cami!
Considering tieflings and tabaxi are my go to non-homebrew, I loved the description. Especially my tiefling (charisma focused) assassin. Got a good portion of those story kills in a bed after all
Jo was epic in the way he compiled the song and his version was lit fire. Bud our cami here with her semi southan soul sound just gives some extra spice on the song
This was amazing. I knew of JoCat from DanPlan but never checked him out until like 2 weeks ago when I started getting into DnD, now I'm addicted to his crap guides. Thanks for the great cover
"You can say "No"when you die." Yeaaah !
Omfg this is amazing! I love the og but i always felt that Jocats rapping voice was too monotone and didnt convey enough personality.
This cover is literally perfect, you manage to convey all the jokes spot on and your voice is amazing!
And that’s what I’m looking for the combination of two of my favorite people on TH-cam
OMG Cami this is brilliant XD
Oh and Also Congratulations on 100k subscribers
April fools! You're getting really close though! and I look forward to the day it comes ;3
Ahh I see your a woman of culture as well!
5 minutes of this smug face
I love it
Hobgoblin has to be my favourite.
Never played it, but there was once someone called Hobnob the knob hobgoblin.
This is fun I hope Jocat has seen this. The boy could use a confidence booster. Also liked when your Tiefling made an appearance really like her songs and her design is nice
I feel devious and chaotic energies flowing from this Cami-Cat DM art. *Just my kinds of energy.*
All we need is the Cats to do a duet of this, and the world can go out with a bang... Nice work as usual, Cami!
I love how her voice changes kinda when she goes through the Menacing classes
so this is by far my favorite cover cause i love both you and jocat
Omg, this is just amazing... JoCat might be great in general, but your singing is amazing.
Here because Jocat gave you a shout out. Glad he saw and enjoyed this great cover ^.^
Yessssss!!!!!!!!!!! I wasn’t even looking for this but HELL YEAHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I love the instrumentals in the beginning. They're just so cheerful, like the rest of the song
"elves are hard to be charmed, so bards keep it in your pants."
Me **designing elf bard** : "no one player should have that kind of power
The clock's ticking', I just count the hours
Stop tripping', I'm tripping' off the power
(never mash up bards and elfs)"
Too late I have a wood elf bard. (laughs in wood elf bard)
Seeing not only Jo comment himself, but damn this is great, I am gonna hope for a collab in the future but I will not hold my breath
Cami-cat I hope you and your friends and family stay safe and healthy during this Corona pandemic🙏💖👼
This is my favorite song about dnd and im so happy you did a cover of this, i love you