I have an on going gag on my live show involving Lord Humungus and myself, Lord Humungous Fungus of Urungus! He keeps interrupting my damn show and running his gums from behind his mask...He made me so mad I became a TRUE Lord! Thanks to Established Titles for making this joke a reality and a really good laugh on the Humungus Shit Show! P.S my family actually has Scottish and Welsh royalty on my father's side. We have two castles just waiting to be retaken! JOIN ME JASON AND WE SHALL RETAKE THE WASTEDLAND GWAR BEERS IN HAND 😎
You´re too dumb, pal. You don´t even know that Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. You jerk really believe that Tyson smashed Seagal. Tyson smashed a Seagal double but not Seagal himself.
It's a scam. A friend of mine fell for a similar one and thought he was going to be Lord of Glencoe. All they did was change his name to Lord by deed poll.
I totally agree with the double theory, no way would Seagal film himself getting beat up. They filmed half the fight scene waited for him to go home and nap and then finished it.
China salesman wasn’t even that bad it just needed better acting, casting, plot, directing, characters, effects, lighting, scenes, structure, soundtrack,editing and weight loss
@@Chromeize that was his first movie, Above the Law, and it was actually good. he smiles, cries, jokes & dances with Pam Grier (while following a suspect into a nightclub) and pals around at a barbeque with colleagues and family members and acts like a normal human being for the first and last time! Guess once he got a multi-picture deal he figured he could hang up the thin sliver of personality he had shown us. It was now time to act like a self-deluded prick for the next 30 years.
In case anyone is interested, as a screenwriter I had to adapt a script written for a US market to one suited for China. Although it wasn't state funded, it would still need to adhere to MANY rules to be permitted a theatrical release. 1) No antagonist can be the nationality of one of China's allies (I had a Russian villain I was forced to change) 2) No western actor can score with a native female love interest if there is another equally heroic Chinese character. 3) No homosexuality and limited use of drugs (if any) 4) If dual protagonists, one of which is Chinese, the Westerner cannot be seen to solve every puzzle. 5) No authority be it the police, intelligence or any agency of the People's Republic of China can be shown to be corrupt, ineffective or inept. And there were MANY more. Thankfully, the project fell apart because it was moving dangerously close to a Seagal movie!
@@CRazY-zp3sk Not really. The US army has rules though, but only for those movies, that want to use military equipment and manpower without having to pay for it. So if you want to use US army resources for free, you have to send them your screenplay and make changes that they request. Only natural for an organization to offer its resources for PR. If you say no, only thing that happens, is that you have to pay for the stuff. No one is going to stop you from publishing your movie.
Fair! I watched the original Pulse the other night and even then I understood basic stuff easily. Although Steven Seagal here seems a little more clear than in Kill Switch...
It is hilarious that it took the Chinese government creating an action movie and his opponent being literal Mike Tyson, for Seagal to get his ass beat in a fight on screen lol.
You jerk doesn´t notice or know that Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. Tyson smashed a Seagal double but not Seagal himself. They (producers) told Seagal that the fight would end up in a draw. After cutting the movie Tyson was the winner because Seagal was not on the set.
"Why does the government of China want this movie to even exist?" So people know that China's building infrastructure in Africa, but they can make it boring enough that people don't find out they're doing it through predatory loans and debt slavery.
Fun Facts: The Mandarin speaking scene where Steven Seagal interrupts a conversation between Dong-xue Li and Li Ai telling them "to speak English" was due to Seagal forgetting his lines. This was inadvertently left in the final cut of the movie. Despite being featured heavily in the film's marketing, the conflict between Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal is just a small subplot that consists of just one short fight at the beginning of the movie (and during most of it Seagal is clearly replaced by his stuntman), and that is the only scene that the 2 of them share. The bulk of the film was made in Dandenong, Australia, using refugees from South Sudan. The money saved on the production allowed for Seagal's expensive tastes in food and women. Both stars of this movie, Steven Seagal and Mike Tyson, have been accused of sexual assault. Tyson was convicted. Director Tan Bing actively sought out and created the role for Steven Seagal, after weaving viral video of Seagal's Akido skills at the Saratov Sambo tournament, which was filmed in Russia a few years earlier. Bing said "It was an honor to have an Aikido master like Steven perform his art in this film." Steven Seagal has it in his contract that he must either have a "sex scene" with a woman or be able to freely "touch" her without getting in trouble. This movie was a huge bomb in China. Mike Tyson lost 25 pounds for this role while Steven Seagal put on 25 pounds to get in character. Mike Tyson is American, but speaks in an African accent. The Sandstorm scene was inspired by Mad Max Fury Road. Mike Tyson filmed this movie and Ip Man 3 around the same time.
Same. It’s what we’re all thinking. There’s no point in him feeling up some poor struggling actress/ he just has to do it. He can’t help it, he’s so big and sloppy and old it just comes off as creepy. Doesn’t add to the plot at all.
There is an interview with one of the directors of his films, Titus Paar, where he described how Steven will only sign his acting contracts if they include him having intimate scenes with young Asian women, whose actresses he picks himself.
I can only imagine if that’s the stuff we know, imagine the stuff we don’t know. Imagine Sloppy old Steven Seagal asking you to suck his dick and he’ll help you get an acting role somewhere. He looks like he wears SO much cologne, and he probably breathes really hard all the time, in addition to the mumbling. Just gross.
It's important to note that Chinese "companies" have been working land deals for years in Africa for mining operations for scarce resources. They usually come equipped with their own security team loaded to the gills with weaponry. They normally encroach on territories that aren't theirs and use the security force to intimidate the surrounding land owners and the local governments that granted the initial deal. It's no coincidence that this movie is centered around Africa. They are going to strip that place dry by any means necessary.
Sounds a lot like the US of A. Only, that they don't install a puppet government, force western liberalism laws and policies, and cause civil wars or invade nations in the process.
Here's some facts to help lick your wounds: - You missed this, but the opening credits says "GUEST STARRING STEVE SEGAL". They misspelt Seagal's name! (it's at 4:40 in this video, for anyone wanting to check) - There's some scenes you didn't include in this video that are absolute GOLD. The motorbike in the beginning had Seagal's face really badly pasted onto the helmet. It's amazing. - Also not shown: there's a scene where two actors are speaking in Mandarin, and Seagal tells them to "speak English". Allegedly that's because Seagal forgot his lines - something I think we can all believe. - The majority of the movie was filmed in Dandenong, Australia, and used a LOT of refugees who'd come from South Sudan. As you can imagine, this cuts costs significantly. - This won an award! At the Beijing Student Film Festival, it won a Special Jury Award. - The trivia section for this film on IMDB is FILLED with digs at Seagal. It's actually kind of hilarious.
Can you imagine the pay per view revenue? I'd pay $20 to see that fight in the full knowledge it would last the full duration of Mike's fist accelerating just 2 feet from his body, and clean though Steven SeaDrawls jaw.
We do not show enough appreciation to you guys for sitting through these crappy movies for our entertainment. Thank you Jason! Also, your Seagal fat jokes made me realize I’m as big as him and motivated me to lose weight. I’ve lost 30 pounds and am now at the smallest I’ve been in 10 years, and counting.
Imagine your motivation for losing weight is literally not to look like Steven Seagal 😂 All jokes aside, that’s awesome you have reached & continue to exceed your personal record with your weight loss journey. The amount of work, dedication & discipline is commendable & usually very underrated. Keep up the good work, Champ! ✊🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Mike Tyson was in Ip Man 3 and was pretty good. He barely spoke and all he had to do was fight Donnie Yen and look like a violent badass, but he did the role really well.
Not only is Sensei Seagal, in his own mind, anyway, the greatest martial artist of all-time, and, the greatest action star of all-time, he also fancies himself a legendary blues man. On his record, "Songs From The Crystal Cave", he included a Jamaican Dancehall collabaration with Lady Saw, called, "Me Want The Punani". It MUST be listened to. It is absolutely HILARIOUS!
LADY SAW?!?!?!? YOU MEAN THE SAME LADY SAW WHO MADE THE MASTERPIECE SONG "I WANNA FUCK YOU WITH MY HEELS ON"?!?!?!? I'm kidding, I already know it's the same lady saw lol She's a fucking poet though. "I wanna fuck you with my heels on *YEAH* Let me ride on your ding dong"
I listened for all of a minute, I think I want to sue you to get my minute back. I now have ear aids. I want to play in a freeway, and jump into a lake with a chain wrapped around my ankles tied to a boulder.... That is how bad that song is.
You guys said EXACTLY what I thought. Steven Seagal doesnt lose, so they recorded the stunt double losing after Seagal had left the set. Also, rumour has it, that on Exectutive Decision (the one with Kurt Russell) they recorded the entire movie with him as the star, but did it again with Russell after he left so they could kill him off after 10 minutes.
They're friendly with each other in real life, but yeah they did zero scenes together in this terrible film. One of Seagal's doubles does a behind the scenes of this here on youtube.
I think you hit the nail on the head regarding Seagal's absence in the latter half of that fight. Chinese filmmakers are notorious for this. Case-in-point: Richard Harrison. He shot 20 films, yet ended up "starring" in excess of 100 more.
I remember reading that Tyson and Fatgal didn't even meet for this movie, all their scenes were recorded separately. I don't drink but to watch this movie i think i'd need a full bottle of Vodka, Whiskey, Gin and whatever other strong drink there is.
Yeah I heard something similar on ralphthemoviemaker's review, I think. I've probably watched more accumulative minutes in reviews of this movie than the runtime of the movie itself!
I know you guys were struggling to figure out who the hero in this disaster even was, but I think we can all agree that it ended up being the “Hey. Shut up” guy.
"So, when you're fighting a tank, the best thing to do is get out of an armored vehicle and shoot at it." "Yes. Yes, throw rocks at it." Hey, it worked for Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade.
Damn, that was brutal. I will admit tho that the propaganda parts were kinda hilarious in their ineptness. Also "Hey China, how are you?" and "Hey! Shut up!" had me in stitches.
Aw, I was waiting for the part where Steven Seagal says "Hey, why don't you guys speak english?" while looking at the wall instead of the guy he's talking to. That was the funniest shit
I honestly thought the title was some sort of in-joke clickbait at first; I've seen quite a few of your Seagal videos and I literally never thought I would see him lose a fight scene. There's simply no way his mayo-guzzling ego would allow it to happen. I think we all came together in collective shock there, and I absolutely buy the stunt double theory.
He didn´t lose the fight, jerk. Don´t you see that you never see Tyson and Seagal in the same scene? Tyson fought against a Seagal double because Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. But that´s the thing with "compuer warriors" hiding behind the computer. They don´t know anything!!!
Are you trying to kill me? Hey shut up!!! 😂 Best scene in the whole movie. I feel bad for you Jason and Dave, going through this is tough 😢😢😢 but watching you guys making up your own storys made it kinda interesting. 😂 Seagal is awesome😝
Did you miss the part where Seagal was riding a motorcycle? It was like an image of his face was pasted on the helmet! Which I think is what actually happened.
@@JasonBrant When you complained about the movie two days ago I thought it was the usual complaining. But I watched the movie myself and it was horrible. Even by Seagal standards. I quit half way through the movie.
Now you know why I've been requesting this one for so long. I wanted someone else to experience the same torture I went through. It's hours of my life I will never EVER get back. BTW - My girlfriend is from Shanghai and agrees that this is the worst piece of shit she's ever seen. She hates China even more after watching this movie.
My girlfriend is Chinese... like, born in China and moved to the US 5 years ago Chinese. She was embarrassed by this film and laughed at how horrible it is.
I'm looking forward to you releasing two videos a week. You are now officially my favourite TH-cam channel and I've re-watched many videos a dozen times. You've all got such a great family like chemistry together. One warning though: if this means you'll be releasing two Seagal videos in a week them I'm deleting the internet!
@@JasonBrant everyone says that… but oddly enough no one has committed suicide to prevent the occurrence.. Cause sea gal is a sneaky bastard and it could happen..
Yeah, I believe Seagal doesn't know that his character is gonna be beaten by Mike Tyson. He left the set and just having the stunt double take the sh*t lol. However, I genuinely believe Tyson can totally beat Seagal, with just one punch.
@@Katzenhase Tyson is a former heavyweight champion boxer and Seagal is a movie martial actor. This is no contest. It's like saying Chuck Norris could beat Rocky Marciano.
@@adamvialpando106 Chuck Norris is a former karate worldchampion and a mutiple black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Every top martial arts fighter would have beaten a great boxer. If Jon Jones have fought Mike Tyson, I would have put my whole money on Jon Jones. The same with Conor McGregor vs Mayweather. Every boxer is helpless in a ground fight.
@@Katzenhase Are you really comparing Seagal and Norris to Jones and Mcgregor? Jon Jones and Conor Mcgregor are real experienced fighters. Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are to martial arts what Dwayne Johnson and John Cena are to wrestling. Talented but useless in an actual fight.
This is the first Seagal movie where we all suffered as much as you. This truly was an abomination. PS, I agree. Seagal was not told he would get knocked out.
What we learned from that, Tyson can't act and Seafood is still rubbing up chicks half his age. That looked painful, I would have needed a 100 beers to get though that one. You need to do more Seafood before the goatee, at least his in them.
I would pay 1 week’s salary if the PRC does a Wolf Warrior movie starring Steven Seagal where he wolfs down an all you can eat Chinese buffet and fights 20 Shaolin monks at the same time
Having seen the full fight scene between Seagal and Tyson, I'm convinced they were never in the same room together and only fought each other's doubles.
Just got back from camping without reception and within 10 minutes a new SBIG. Hell yeah, time to hang out with Jason and the gang! Edit: and you have a new Seagal opening? Let's gooooo 🤣
@@JasonBrant well. eating beer brats, burgers, and drinking beer on the beach was probably a better time than watching this dumpster fire 🤣 clearly you guys suffer for your art
Love your channel, you guys are awesome! We’ve bought Invasion USA, Death Wish 3, The Barbarians, and Class of 1999 based your reviews and we’ve had a great time watching them with friends! Really hope you’ll watch Ryan’s Babe because it is an absolute dumpster fire of a movie described as a “Comedy/Thriller” whose tagline is “The road movie that doesn’t know where it’s going” (which is accurate). I know your channel doesn’t do comedies, but the good news is, this movie definitely isn’t one. If you reply to this comment, I’ll buy it for you so you can see what the hell a “Comedy Thriller” is!
Would it be rude to ask for every minute back enduring this movie. This brings cinema stupidity to a new level! Still had a few laughable moments. Keep putting this material out and you’ll be at a million subs in no time!! Every time he laughed the jiggle in his tummy made the Segal image on his shirt look like the mouth moving. His image had more lines! Love you guys!
Okay, normally I don't comment twice on one video, but I had to this time (after I just watched about 37 minutes of misery). This film makes me proud to be a U.S. citizen. God bless America! And thank you very much for your willingness to share this. Please pick a movie that won't give anyone an aneurysm watching it, next time. 😂
I just discovered your channel! Enjoying your videos so far. Seagal's unwillingness to be anything but invincible is such a far cry from when he was in Executive Decision (which movie I like and I even liked his character).
26:58 - Seagal sounded so clear because he was probably talking to the producers of the film on the phone, and being asked if he'd be okay with filming a scene where Tyson beats him up and he loses the fight.
Watching you guys suffer through this propaganda piece, I swear I saw your souls leave your bodies at one point. Only a Seagal movie could achieve such a feat.
![โฮ่ง! (SUGOI) - LYKN [ OFFICIAL MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nFp4zjAARFs/mqdefault.jpg)
Thanks to Established Titles for sponsoring today's video. Go to establishedtitles.com/JASONBRANT to get 10% off today.
I have an on going gag on my live show involving Lord Humungus and myself, Lord Humungous Fungus of Urungus! He keeps interrupting my damn show and running his gums from behind his mask...He made me so mad I became a TRUE Lord! Thanks to Established Titles for making this joke a reality and a really good laugh on the Humungus Shit Show!
P.S my family actually has Scottish and Welsh royalty on my father's side. We have two castles just waiting to be retaken! JOIN ME JASON AND WE SHALL RETAKE THE WASTEDLAND GWAR BEERS IN HAND 😎
I told ya this shit was the greatest!!! AHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA
There is a really bad movie called the amazing bulk. Check it out,. Seriously you guys will like it
You´re too dumb, pal. You don´t even know that Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. You jerk really believe that Tyson smashed Seagal. Tyson smashed a Seagal double but not Seagal himself.
It's a scam. A friend of mine fell for a similar one and thought he was going to be Lord of Glencoe. All they did was change his name to Lord by deed poll.
This has an amazing IMDB trivia entry: "Mike Tyson lost 25 pounds for this role while Steven Seagal put on 25 pounds to get in character."
That's hilarious.
I had to look that up to see if it was true. Whoever put that in there is a Legend 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah....that's why Seagal did it. Sure.
"The movie was a bomb in China"
Yep, that checks out
It would surprise me, when he one day wouldn't put on more weight...
I totally agree with the double theory, no way would Seagal film himself getting beat up. They filmed half the fight scene waited for him to go home and nap and then finished it.
I'm pretty convinced that's what happened.
They attached a hamburger to a string and pulled it until he was well off the set.
Likelyhood - 100%!
I read somewhere neither were on set together at the same time.
If you look at the movie's IMDB page, one of the front page photos is of Mike Tyson with the stunt double
China salesman wasn’t even that bad it just needed better acting, casting, plot, directing, characters, effects, lighting, scenes, structure, soundtrack,editing and weight loss
True.
Don't forget Art Direction. That was shitty art direction.
And the kraft service table SUCKED
Ya you can really improve a bad movie by changing everything about it.
@@euphan123 No kraft service can handle the onslaught of Steven Seagal.
Steven is a fighter. He's been fighting against diets and good acting for decades
Ever seen him run? One of his first title roll movies had him bone thin, running like sissy with his balding ponytail lol.
@@Chromeize that was his first movie, Above the Law, and it was actually good. he smiles, cries, jokes & dances with Pam Grier (while following a suspect into a nightclub) and pals around at a barbeque with colleagues and family members and acts like a normal human being for the first and last time! Guess once he got a multi-picture deal he figured he could hang up the thin sliver of personality he had shown us. It was now time to act like a self-deluded prick for the next 30 years.
You got me.
And he laundered more than any Mexican ever.
And he's been victorious.
In case anyone is interested, as a screenwriter I had to adapt a script written for a US market to one suited for China. Although it wasn't state funded, it would still need to adhere to MANY rules to be permitted a theatrical release. 1) No antagonist can be the nationality of one of China's allies (I had a Russian villain I was forced to change) 2) No western actor can score with a native female love interest if there is another equally heroic Chinese character. 3) No homosexuality and limited use of drugs (if any) 4) If dual protagonists, one of which is Chinese, the Westerner cannot be seen to solve every puzzle. 5) No authority be it the police, intelligence or any agency of the People's Republic of China can be shown to be corrupt, ineffective or inept. And there were MANY more. Thankfully, the project fell apart because it was moving dangerously close to a Seagal movie!
Horrific.
@@BucketOfFuk The us government has rules for how Hollywood portrays them as well, look it up. They influence movies and stuff all the time.
@@CRazY-zp3sk Welp. That's twice as horrific
@@CRazY-zp3sk Not really. The US army has rules though, but only for those movies, that want to use military equipment and manpower without having to pay for it. So if you want to use US army resources for free, you have to send them your screenplay and make changes that they request. Only natural for an organization to offer its resources for PR. If you say no, only thing that happens, is that you have to pay for the stuff. No one is going to stop you from publishing your movie.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 dumpster 🔥
I needed subtitles for Seagal more than I did for the Chinese in this movie.
🤣 🤣
[Burger chewing noises]
Fair! I watched the original Pulse the other night and even then I understood basic stuff easily.
Although Steven Seagal here seems a little more clear than in Kill Switch...
It is hilarious that it took the Chinese government creating an action movie and his opponent being literal Mike Tyson, for Seagal to get his ass beat in a fight on screen lol.
True 🤣
Not even Seagal dares to defy emperor Xi.
Even the mighty blob Segal can't take on Mike Tyson with the Chinese backup.
You jerk doesn´t notice or know that Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. Tyson smashed a Seagal double but not Seagal himself. They (producers) told Seagal that the fight would end up in a draw. After cutting the movie Tyson was the winner because Seagal was not on the set.
They also waited for The Year Of The Dragon to end, he too strong befo’
"Why does the government of China want this movie to even exist?"
So people know that China's building infrastructure in Africa, but they can make it boring enough that people don't find out they're doing it through predatory loans and debt slavery.
They've literally written off a bunch of loans but...like you know, maybe just enjoy the shlockfest for what it is.
@@pinzazzzz source : Trust me, I've got this.
Fun fact, Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal were never in the same room together for that fight, their parts were shot in different countries
That makes perfect sense
What happened to the movies with S.S.
In the older movies made more sense.
What the F*ck happened??
Fun Facts:
The Mandarin speaking scene where Steven Seagal interrupts a conversation between Dong-xue Li and Li Ai telling them "to speak English" was due to Seagal forgetting his lines. This was inadvertently left in the final cut of the movie.
Despite being featured heavily in the film's marketing, the conflict between Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal is just a small subplot that consists of just one short fight at the beginning of the movie (and during most of it Seagal is clearly replaced by his stuntman), and that is the only scene that the 2 of them share.
The bulk of the film was made in Dandenong, Australia, using refugees from South Sudan. The money saved on the production allowed for Seagal's expensive tastes in food and women.
Both stars of this movie, Steven Seagal and Mike Tyson, have been accused of sexual assault. Tyson was convicted.
Director Tan Bing actively sought out and created the role for Steven Seagal, after weaving viral video of Seagal's Akido skills at the Saratov Sambo tournament, which was filmed in Russia a few years earlier. Bing said "It was an honor to have an Aikido master like Steven perform his art in this film."
Steven Seagal has it in his contract that he must either have a "sex scene" with a woman or be able to freely "touch" her without getting in trouble.
This movie was a huge bomb in China.
Mike Tyson lost 25 pounds for this role while Steven Seagal put on 25 pounds to get in character.
Mike Tyson is American, but speaks in an African accent.
The Sandstorm scene was inspired by Mad Max Fury Road.
Mike Tyson filmed this movie and Ip Man 3 around the same time.
Jason kills me every time he sees Seagal feel up those poor women
“He’s such a piece of shit” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 never fails Lmao!!!
Same. It’s what we’re all thinking. There’s no point in him feeling up some poor struggling actress/ he just has to do it. He can’t help it, he’s so big and sloppy and old it just comes off as creepy. Doesn’t add to the plot at all.
There is an interview with one of the directors of his films, Titus Paar, where he described how Steven will only sign his acting contracts if they include him having intimate scenes with young Asian women, whose actresses he picks himself.
I can only imagine if that’s the stuff we know, imagine the stuff we don’t know. Imagine Sloppy old Steven Seagal asking you to suck his dick and he’ll help you get an acting role somewhere. He looks like he wears SO much cologne, and he probably breathes really hard all the time, in addition to the mumbling. Just gross.
@@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis I would not be surprised if that was the case. And this does not even take into account all the abuse allegations
When Dave laughed real hard it looked like Segal on his shirt was chewing food. Lol
I thought the same thing!
To be fair, Sensei looks like his mouth is always full of food
I thought I was the only one who noticed that. It elevated this video to hilarious status.
He was.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH
Jason : Dont crack that beer. The movie is almost over
Dave : Hey..... Shut up
🤣 🤣 🤣
@@JasonBrant i was hoping he would shotgun it while looking you in the eye the entire time lol
Underrated comment 🤣🤣🤣
Best claim to fame for any actor must be telling iron mike to shut up.
It's important to note that Chinese "companies" have been working land deals for years in Africa for mining operations for scarce resources. They usually come equipped with their own security team loaded to the gills with weaponry. They normally encroach on territories that aren't theirs and use the security force to intimidate the surrounding land owners and the local governments that granted the initial deal. It's no coincidence that this movie is centered around Africa. They are going to strip that place dry by any means necessary.
Facts. They have military bases there also. Promising helping the countries develop etc
Sounds a lot like the US of A. Only, that they don't install a puppet government, force western liberalism laws and policies, and cause civil wars or invade nations in the process.
Good to know colonialism is alive and well.
Source: Trust me, bro
So just like the west?
I laughed so hard when Steven Seagal slapped Mike Tyson's ear at a lame reference to when he bit off Holyfield's ear
Here's some facts to help lick your wounds:
- You missed this, but the opening credits says "GUEST STARRING STEVE SEGAL". They misspelt Seagal's name! (it's at 4:40 in this video, for anyone wanting to check)
- There's some scenes you didn't include in this video that are absolute GOLD. The motorbike in the beginning had Seagal's face really badly pasted onto the helmet. It's amazing.
- Also not shown: there's a scene where two actors are speaking in Mandarin, and Seagal tells them to "speak English". Allegedly that's because Seagal forgot his lines - something I think we can all believe.
- The majority of the movie was filmed in Dandenong, Australia, and used a LOT of refugees who'd come from South Sudan. As you can imagine, this cuts costs significantly.
- This won an award! At the Beijing Student Film Festival, it won a Special Jury Award.
- The trivia section for this film on IMDB is FILLED with digs at Seagal. It's actually kind of hilarious.
Good info. Thanks, will check it out.
Digs at Seagal? I'll take a look 🤣
I wonder how many social credits Seafood Seagal earned with this flick.
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 Why else did they have to film in Australia? All the money went on hiring Se(a)gal.
and it said Steve Segal...instead of Steven
You just know that Seagal is delusional enough to believe that he could beat Tyson in a fight in real life. 🤣
Can you imagine the pay per view revenue? I'd pay $20 to see that fight in the full knowledge it would last the full duration of Mike's fist accelerating just 2 feet from his body, and clean though Steven SeaDrawls jaw.
@@WeirdNeville yeah, I'd definately pay to see Tyson take Seagal's head clean off with a single punch. 🤣
akido has cam under attack recently for not being affective. but boxing yes might not be as popular as it once was has never been called unaffected
an Mike Tyson is known as one of best boxers out there
1000% lol
Just spit my coffee. "They're literally just talking about installing cell phone equipment." *Dave's blank stare* 🤣
So goddamn boring. 🤣
Same year Seagal was in this Chinese propaganda movie, he complained about propaganda in America. Talk about hypocrisy.
Now he’s in Russia spreading different propaganda lol
We do not show enough appreciation to you guys for sitting through these crappy movies for our entertainment. Thank you Jason! Also, your Seagal fat jokes made me realize I’m as big as him and motivated me to lose weight. I’ve lost 30 pounds and am now at the smallest I’ve been in 10 years, and counting.
Imagine your motivation for losing weight is literally not to look like Steven Seagal 😂 All jokes aside, that’s awesome you have reached & continue to exceed your personal record with your weight loss journey. The amount of work, dedication & discipline is commendable & usually very underrated. Keep up the good work, Champ! ✊🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
You are insightful and right😊
Mike Tyson was in Ip Man 3 and was pretty good. He barely spoke and all he had to do was fight Donnie Yen and look like a violent badass, but he did the role really well.
Yes, the fight scene was clever enough to stroke both their egos. Fight to a draw because of a time limit.
I genuinely enjoyed Tyson in Ip Man 3. The shot where he’s punching out the glass windows behind Donnie Yen is just magic.
Not only is Sensei Seagal, in his own mind, anyway, the greatest martial artist of all-time, and, the greatest action star of all-time, he also fancies himself a legendary blues man. On his record, "Songs From The Crystal Cave", he included a Jamaican Dancehall collabaration with Lady Saw, called, "Me Want The Punani". It MUST be listened to. It is absolutely HILARIOUS!
LADY SAW?!?!?!? YOU MEAN THE SAME LADY SAW WHO MADE THE MASTERPIECE SONG "I WANNA FUCK YOU WITH MY HEELS ON"?!?!?!?
I'm kidding, I already know it's the same lady saw lol
She's a fucking poet though.
"I wanna fuck you with my heels on *YEAH*
Let me ride on your ding dong"
I listened to that and considered chugging bleach afterward.
His version of the Hoochie Coochie Man shown in Jontron's video is pure hilarity.
I listened for all of a minute, I think I want to sue you to get my minute back. I now have ear aids. I want to play in a freeway, and jump into a lake with a chain wrapped around my ankles tied to a boulder.... That is how bad that song is.
@@JasonBrant I just listened to about 30 seconds, and I need to go lie down.
On some railroad tracks.
“Our people are NOT extinct!” Bro, I’m in my company’s break-room and literally spit the biscuits out of my mouth!🤣
It's almost like Seagal found out they had him lose that fight at the beginning and then refused to be in any more of the movie after that.
You guys said EXACTLY what I thought. Steven Seagal doesnt lose, so they recorded the stunt double losing after Seagal had left the set.
Also, rumour has it, that on Exectutive Decision (the one with Kurt Russell) they recorded the entire movie with him as the star, but did it again with Russell after he left so they could kill him off after 10 minutes.
30:23 “Hey, shut up!” = One of the greatest movie lines ever!
As far as I know, Tyson and Seagal have never actually met during filming. The whole fighting scene was filmed using doubles.
That's insane
Definitely looks lik eit.
They're friendly with each other in real life, but yeah they did zero scenes together in this terrible film. One of Seagal's doubles does a behind the scenes of this here on youtube.
I’m guessing the smack in the ear was for Holyfield. 🤣🤣
Ohh, I never considered that. I'm an idiot.
I think you hit the nail on the head regarding Seagal's absence in the latter half of that fight. Chinese filmmakers are notorious for this. Case-in-point: Richard Harrison. He shot 20 films, yet ended up "starring" in excess of 100 more.
Every time Dave laughs hard, Seagal on his t-shirt laughs with him.
No, he's eating
I remember reading that Tyson and Fatgal didn't even meet for this movie, all their scenes were recorded separately.
I don't drink but to watch this movie i think i'd need a full bottle of Vodka, Whiskey, Gin and whatever other strong drink there is.
Yeah I heard something similar on ralphthemoviemaker's review, I think. I've probably watched more accumulative minutes in reviews of this movie than the runtime of the movie itself!
It looks like most of Tyson's work was shot in front of a green screen.
I watched it sober. Multiple viewings of Dickshark prepared me.
@@hansgraichen8051 You are a champion. Your fortitude is insane.
😂😂😂😂
Dave is a champ for filming that opening! So epic!
His screams crack me up.
I know you guys were struggling to figure out who the hero in this disaster even was, but I think we can all agree that it ended up being the “Hey. Shut up” guy.
The suffering is real on this one. It was almost painful for me but I was too busy laughing at Dave's misery...lol Great episode again.
30:23 I literally burst out laughing so hard when the guy said shut up to Mike Tyson.
"So, when you're fighting a tank, the best thing to do is get out of an armored vehicle and shoot at it."
"Yes. Yes, throw rocks at it."
Hey, it worked for Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade.
haha.
@@JasonBrant Hey, there were some realistic things in that movie. The biggest one was where Harrison Ford said "Fly? Yes. Land? No."
Damn, that was brutal. I will admit tho that the propaganda parts were kinda hilarious in their ineptness. Also "Hey China, how are you?" and "Hey! Shut up!" had me in stitches.
Forget King Kong vs Godzilla, Batman V Superman, Vader vs Obi-Wan. Tyson vs Seagal is the greatest square off ever...said no one ever.
🤣
Aw, I was waiting for the part where Steven Seagal says "Hey, why don't you guys speak english?" while looking at the wall instead of the guy he's talking to. That was the funniest shit
I would like to thank the Chinese Propaganda Masters for hiring Mike Tyson to kick Sifu's arse!
Dave looked like he was being tortured this whole movie 😂
He was.
Just what I needed to start my Sunday off… Chinese propaganda
@@ZachSeg3425 better this than After Last Season....
Who are these Patreon sadists?
@@mikehunt4986 it’s fun to make fun of how bad the movie is.
I've noticed EVERY Seagal film makes The Room look like a better more competent film with each installment!
Seriously.
Love when Dave is part of a review, and the shirt he’s wearing is hilarious.
A viewer sent us a bunch of Seagal shirts 🤣
@@JasonBrant i was gonna ask, "did you guys make 'Anybody Seen Richie' t-shirts??"
That "Hey, shut up" scene needs to be turned into a meme lol
my favourite bits of the movie are:
the face of sifu cello taped onto that bike helmet and the fact that all the weight tyson lost, "segal" found.
The movie should've ended when Seagal lost that fight, would've won an Oscar, LOL
Seriously!
I honestly thought the title was some sort of in-joke clickbait at first; I've seen quite a few of your Seagal videos and I literally never thought I would see him lose a fight scene. There's simply no way his mayo-guzzling ego would allow it to happen. I think we all came together in collective shock there, and I absolutely buy the stunt double theory.
I bet everyone thinks it's clickbait, haha.
He didn´t lose the fight, jerk. Don´t you see that you never see Tyson and Seagal in the same scene? Tyson fought against a Seagal double because Seagal and Tyson were not on the set at the same time. But that´s the thing with "compuer warriors" hiding behind the computer. They don´t know anything!!!
Mee too-
It must be compulsory that Dave wear that sweet sweet mullet wig whenever he watches a Sensei Segal movie.
Congrats on 50k Jason!
Thanks! I'll tell him he has to wear the wig from now.
Are you trying to kill me? Hey shut up!!! 😂 Best scene in the whole movie. I feel bad for you Jason and Dave, going through this is tough 😢😢😢 but watching you guys making up your own storys made it kinda interesting. 😂 Seagal is awesome😝
Dude laughing hard and making Seagal's face jiggle is everything.
This has got to be the best Chinese adaptation of Wuthering Heights I have ever seen!
Steven Seagal is Heathcliff?
@@MinscFromBaldursGate92 I see him more as a Catherine type.
🤣
7:22 "God, I hate him"
We all do, Dave... we all do.
Did you miss the part where Seagal was riding a motorcycle? It was like an image of his face was pasted on the helmet! Which I think is what actually happened.
I think we mentioned it in the full-length review. It's so bad.
@@JasonBrant When you complained about the movie two days ago I thought it was the usual complaining. But I watched the movie myself and it was horrible. Even by Seagal standards. I quit half way through the movie.
"Hey. Shut up!" absolutely killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I applaud you lads for suffering through this absolute trainwreck for our entertainment. Keep them coming.
Seagal falling legit made me stop what I was doing and sit down to watch closer. Wow.
🤣
You two deserve the metal of honor.
I agree!
Wow that looked painful 😖 hope the next one isn't the torture this was. You guys are warriors!
Nothing is this painful 🤣
You two have amazing chemistry even over a terrible terrible movie.
They should smooch
Now you know why I've been requesting this one for so long. I wanted someone else to experience the same torture I went through. It's hours of my life I will never EVER get back. BTW - My girlfriend is from Shanghai and agrees that this is the worst piece of shit she's ever seen. She hates China even more after watching this movie.
You know for a fact that 90 percent of people that watched this in China felt so proud during this movie.
That flag waving scene was brutal.
If I were Chinese I would feel insulted and embarrassed to see my tax money going into this abomination
My girlfriend is Chinese... like, born in China and moved to the US 5 years ago Chinese. She was embarrassed by this film and laughed at how horrible it is.
@Henrique According to the IMDB page of this film, it was a failure even in China, so yeah
@@eduardodiaz9942 as if they’d give you the right to feel insulted
I had the same reaction when I learned Tyson was in this. After the first scene with him i was like "oh..."
The excitement dissipates quickly.
I'm looking forward to you releasing two videos a week. You are now officially my favourite TH-cam channel and I've re-watched many videos a dozen times. You've all got such a great family like chemistry together. One warning though: if this means you'll be releasing two Seagal videos in a week them I'm deleting the internet!
I'd rather die than do back-to-back Seagal movies.
@@JasonBrantIs there any difference between that and death?
@@JasonBrant everyone says that… but oddly enough no one has committed suicide to prevent the occurrence..
Cause sea gal is a sneaky bastard and it could happen..
@@JasonBrant 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
30:39 - Dude, even Seagal on his shirt is laughing with them. 😂
Homie with Segal shirt,everytime he cracks up alot Steven Segals face on the shirt looks likes hes mumbling lol you cant unsee it
Yeah, I believe Seagal doesn't know that his character is gonna be beaten by Mike Tyson. He left the set and just having the stunt double take the sh*t lol. However, I genuinely believe Tyson can totally beat Seagal, with just one punch.
Tyson could be paralyzed and still kick his ass.
@@JasonBrant Bullshit, Seagal is a martial arts master and was "the man" in his prime. Tyson said that he has the utmost respect for Seagal.
@@Katzenhase Tyson is a former heavyweight champion boxer and Seagal is a movie martial actor. This is no contest. It's like saying Chuck Norris could beat Rocky Marciano.
@@adamvialpando106 Chuck Norris is a former karate worldchampion and a mutiple black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Every top martial arts fighter would have beaten a great boxer. If Jon Jones have fought Mike Tyson, I would have put my whole money on Jon Jones. The same with Conor McGregor vs Mayweather. Every boxer is helpless in a ground fight.
@@Katzenhase Are you really comparing Seagal and Norris to Jones and Mcgregor? Jon Jones and Conor Mcgregor are real experienced fighters.
Chuck Norris and Steven Seagal are to martial arts what Dwayne Johnson and John Cena are to wrestling. Talented but useless in an actual fight.
This is the first Seagal movie where we all suffered as much as you. This truly was an abomination.
PS, I agree. Seagal was not told he would get knocked out.
"They probably filmed Seagal's scenes and then had Tyson beat the stunt double because the Chinese don't give AF". Truer words have never been spoken.
What we learned from that, Tyson can't act and Seafood is still rubbing up chicks half his age.
That looked painful, I would have needed a 100 beers to get though that one.
You need to do more Seafood before the goatee, at least his in them.
We'll watch all the shitty Seagal movies. Unfortunately.
@@JasonBrant For our amusement 😀
I would pay 1 week’s salary if the PRC does a Wolf Warrior movie starring Steven Seagal where he wolfs down an all you can eat Chinese buffet and fights 20 Shaolin monks at the same time
It looks like the Segal face on that tshirt is talking every time he laughs
"Hey, the new review is up."
"Cool. What's it called?"
"Uh... 'Mike Tyson smashes Steven Seagal'-not _that_ way..."
🤣 🤣
Lemme smash.
Having seen the full fight scene between Seagal and Tyson, I'm convinced they were never in the same room together and only fought each other's doubles.
The question is, can Mike Tyson even pronounce "Sifu"?!
Haha! That legit made me laugh out loud.
Thifu
30:40
when Dave’s gut jiggles from laughing - Sefu himself looks like he’s laughing
I come back and watch this again periodically, because it's one of the funniest videos you and Dave have ever done together.
How dare you compare this to a Dumpster Fire! At least a Dumpster Fire can keep you warm! THIS 'movie' was belly button lint! 🙃🤣
🤣 🤣
Just got back from camping without reception and within 10 minutes a new SBIG. Hell yeah, time to hang out with Jason and the gang!
Edit: and you have a new Seagal opening? Let's gooooo 🤣
How was the trip?
@@JasonBrant well. eating beer brats, burgers, and drinking beer on the beach was probably a better time than watching this dumpster fire 🤣 clearly you guys suffer for your art
🤣🤣🤣🤣. The look of pure shock and silence when seagal got beat. Like me when I was 7 and hulk hogan was beaten at summerslam
Haha! That's hilarious.
@@JasonBrant lovely t-shirt by the way
"Hey........Shut up" is the greatest line delivered on film
"God I hate him" - Dave 2022 😭 lol
Those opening credits were ridiculous. Wtf does a "co-associate producer" do??
Signs government documents.
Opening an only alcohol-drink seller bar in a country where is forbidden to drink alcohol is a very good business... Oh wait.
I was so confused by that.
You mean like being a narco in a country where coke is forbidden? Or being a bootlegger during Prohibition?
I think we owe something to the directors for finally making Seagal getting his ass kicked.
That was the most riveting Chinese propaganda film about setting up a cellular network I've ever seen.
at 30:39 the Seagal on the shirt starts laughing too
Love your channel, you guys are awesome! We’ve bought Invasion USA, Death Wish 3, The Barbarians, and Class of 1999 based your reviews and we’ve had a great time watching them with friends!
Really hope you’ll watch Ryan’s Babe because it is an absolute dumpster fire of a movie described as a “Comedy/Thriller” whose tagline is “The road movie that doesn’t know where it’s going” (which is accurate). I know your channel doesn’t do comedies, but the good news is, this movie definitely isn’t one.
If you reply to this comment, I’ll buy it for you so you can see what the hell a “Comedy Thriller” is!
That sounds extraordinarily painful.
@@JasonBrant it’s actually one of those movies that’s such a clusterfuck, it ends up being hilarious
Watching you guys suffer through that movie felt like I was watching a snuff video.
Would it be rude to ask for every minute back enduring this movie. This brings cinema stupidity to a new level! Still had a few laughable moments. Keep putting this material out and you’ll be at a million subs in no time!! Every time he laughed the jiggle in his tummy made the Segal image on his shirt look like the mouth moving. His image had more lines! Love you guys!
Neither Tyson nor Seagal were in the same room for their fight. It was ALL double work.
"HEY, SHUT UP!!!" was f**kin hilarious
Okay, normally I don't comment twice on one video, but I had to this time (after I just watched about 37 minutes of misery).
This film makes me proud to be a U.S. citizen. God bless America! And thank you very much for your willingness to share this. Please pick a movie that won't give anyone an aneurysm watching it, next time. 😂
30:39 even Seagal laughed
🤣
I just discovered your channel! Enjoying your videos so far.
Seagal's unwillingness to be anything but invincible is such a far cry from when he was in Executive Decision (which movie I like and I even liked his character).
And I believe the only reason he did that was because apparently he wanted the scene changed so he went out "as a hero" saving his men.
26:58 - Seagal sounded so clear because he was probably talking to the producers of the film on the phone, and being asked if he'd be okay with filming a scene where Tyson beats him up and he loses the fight.
To me, when Dave laughed, the picture of Steven sagal looked like it was chewing something. 😂
I think this deserves a category of its own, there can't be any movies worse than this one.
As Seagal movies go I think this is rock bottom.
Watching you guys suffer through this propaganda piece, I swear I saw your souls leave your bodies at one point. Only a Seagal movie could achieve such a feat.
I legit cannot comprehend how anyone could agree to be involved with this dumpster fire without some form of coercion or fraud involved