Why Most Modern Marriages Quickly End in Divorce | Divorce & Legal Expert Tebello Motshwane

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ส.ค. 2024
  • The home of phenomenal conversations.
    ENGINEER YOUR LIFE - EPISODE 110 - Tebello Motshwane (‪@Bellz_motshwane‬ Sister In Law
    An in-depth conversation on the state of modern marriages and the intricacies that contribute to the high divorce rate.
    Hosted by: Lungelo KM
    Cinematography by: Tino Media
    Content Production by: Owethu Mhlongo
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    DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for specialised professional advice; legal advice, financial advice, medical advice, diagnosis, and/or treatment. Never disregard the relevant professional advice because you have heard or watched something on this podcast or channel. Furthermore, all opinions expressed are views of the guest solely and not of the channel and its holding company.

ความคิดเห็น • 105

  • @user-yy9mt6kl3h
    @user-yy9mt6kl3h หลายเดือนก่อน +167

    There's no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've learned that there's always a way to solve problems. Five years back, my wife and I were almost divorcing because we had problems in our marriage, but we managed to work things out. It was a hard time, but we got past it.

    • @user-sk7kd8vs2w
      @user-sk7kd8vs2w หลายเดือนก่อน

      I honestly want to find happiness too. I've got a partner, and even though we're not together right now, I can't imagine life without her; my love for her is strong. I really miss her, and I'm fully committed to bringing her back. We've explored different paths, like therapy, to fix things.

    • @user-yy9mt6kl3h
      @user-yy9mt6kl3h หลายเดือนก่อน

      Learning to let someone you love go is always a tough journey, but in my case, I had the wisdom of a spiritual mentor who kept my marriage from crumbling. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

    • @user-sk7kd8vs2w
      @user-sk7kd8vs2w หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for this direction. I'll swiftly seek her out online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will yield results for me as well; her absence weighs heavily on my heart.

    • @user-yy9mt6kl3h
      @user-yy9mt6kl3h หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are Welcome.

  • @user-nm9dz7lt3s
    @user-nm9dz7lt3s หลายเดือนก่อน +123

    Divorce is never the way out, My husband and I have been having issues before I sort out help from a spiritual adviser,i wasn't going to let my marriage of 18years crash

    • @GeorgeSmith-lm2mh
      @GeorgeSmith-lm2mh หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      amazing, I am kinda in a similar situation, how did you handle it?

    • @user-nm9dz7lt3s
      @user-nm9dz7lt3s หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      well not the orthodox way but i was referred by a friend to a spiritual adviser and healer

    • @GeorgeSmith-lm2mh
      @GeorgeSmith-lm2mh หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      please how can i get in touch with the spiritual adviser?

    • @user-nm9dz7lt3s
      @user-nm9dz7lt3s หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      her name is Quelani Eileen Freja, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as caster

    • @user-nm9dz7lt3s
      @user-nm9dz7lt3s หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      you can look her name up online and you will find all you need.

  • @BlooZulu
    @BlooZulu หลายเดือนก่อน +48

    There's an overarching reason for how we are moving as a humanity that makes the idea of marriage redundant. We are insisting on an outdated institution rooted in archaic ideology to still make sense to the people that we have evolved to be. Marriage in and of itself isn't a problem, the fact that we are not defining it within the context of the people that we have become is. People aren't introspective and lack accountability for themselves and their own lives. We still let society tell us who we are and how we should live and we become shocked with relationships and marriages when suddenly there are irreconcilable clashes. Marriage isn't for everyone and there isn't only one way of doing marriage for those who choose to do it.

    • @bigthangz5489
      @bigthangz5489 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Until she has a flat tyre on her car,
      or some1 breaks into the house!!
      all of a sudden, we get strange distress calls from w0men at awkward times, for problems that in fact should be solved by hr husband.

    • @busisiwephakathi7793
      @busisiwephakathi7793 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Some men cant fix a flat tyre, besides there's insurance for that. Also, break ins happen even when there's a man or men. So your reasons are not sufficient.​@bigthangz5489

    • @tshadimlangeni5388
      @tshadimlangeni5388 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @busisiwephakathi7793 absolutely correct!! Men also become victims of hijacking like??? Anything can happen to anyone literally!

    • @maritawanazw
      @maritawanazw หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@BlooZulu amen!

    • @thobanivitaleous2837
      @thobanivitaleous2837 หลายเดือนก่อน

      in short, how would you want marriage to be defined within the modern context?

  • @njabulomasina4180
    @njabulomasina4180 21 วันที่ผ่านมา +5

    When women say they have options it's actually a misnomer because those aren't actually 'options.' This is because women are primarily seeking committed relationships from men not physical intimacy. Just because a guy wants to sleep with you it doesn't mean that he's an option for a long-term relationship. Out of the 100 guys who are purportedly options, probably only 5 of them are willing to get into a committed relationship with the prospect of it leading to marriage. But probably all 100 of them want to sleep with you. Women shouldn't conflate the 2, otherwise they'll be up for a rude awakening. On top of that, women's standards are very high. A dude must be 6 ft 4, be filthy rich, look like a fitness model, have a third leg and drive a space coup. Let's be honest, how many of those dudes are willing to settle down if most women want them? They'll obviously play the field and indiscriminately exercise their options. A committed relationship is the furthest thing from their minds.
    My advice to women is to stick it out in your marriages, because there's nothing out here in these streets for you. The grass is not always greener on the other side. If there's no abuse (physical/emotional), cheating or any kind of seriously toxic behaviour, then stick it out. Bekezel', you'll thank yourself for it.

  • @EngineerYLShow
    @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    A perspective on marriage from a person who deals almost daily with the facts and figures surrounding marriage and divorce.
    Please like & subscribe so that we can grow to be able to facilitate more growth conversations 🏆

  • @TheReal_GuguG
    @TheReal_GuguG หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I love how the guest eloquently explained everything and simplified everything... Educational episode ❤

  • @kgomotsomakhubedu3189
    @kgomotsomakhubedu3189 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Informative, by far my favourite episode ❤️❤️

  • @menzimsane2680
    @menzimsane2680 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Sister in Law is brilliant.

  • @DERWANGLE
    @DERWANGLE 27 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Smart advocate. I love that she is candid

  • @Lindile_Nibe91
    @Lindile_Nibe91 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    Our world is evolving in so many ways ✨️
    This was very informative 👏 👌

  • @GracefulYvonne
    @GracefulYvonne หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Sister In Law, is a brilliant concept!! But theeee woman behind the brand!! Such a phenomenal woman ❤😍😍 Enjoyed this episode, so informative.

  • @elvisndlovu1232
    @elvisndlovu1232 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    We are here for yet another high quality content 🎉🎉🎉

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Gatsheni! Boyabenyathi! 🙌🏿

  • @cavisto6832
    @cavisto6832 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    27:05 overemphasizing sex can lead to pressure and stress. Societal norms and cultural expectations. Otherwise every person's needs and desires differs.

  • @thekarabodiale
    @thekarabodiale หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    Men are in love, woman are in Business.

    • @victorioussisters3307
      @victorioussisters3307 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That’s fine and the Bible des state that - ‘Men love your wives as Christ loves the church!’ Yes, he must love me! Yes, again we’re doing business here found me with cars, houses and businesses.

    • @isoboy1000
      @isoboy1000 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Based on this interview men are getting a wake up call, thats why they now setting up marriage contracts before commiting.

    • @zonqoba
      @zonqoba 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@victorioussisters3307 the bible doesn't say that

  • @MakeArtBae
    @MakeArtBae หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    So true, like if a family or any business fails and you are married in community of property, the debt collectors can literally take everything you as a family has worked for, even if the debt was accrued by one party...This was lovely to watch!

  • @mphihlengmagoro2957
    @mphihlengmagoro2957 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    😂 Bathong Lungelo you did look and sound defeated on the men cheating with men reason. I wonder how many people actually divorce because of sexuality and identity based reasons today but only use the known reasons as motivation hiding the main reason 🤔 🤔

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😂😂😂😂

    • @mskhumalo5118
      @mskhumalo5118 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@mphihlengmagoro2957 it actually happens often actually, quite often.

  • @ZolaNgemntu-v8t
    @ZolaNgemntu-v8t หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    What an enlightning conversation about Modern Marriages 👏👏👏

  • @zanelleful
    @zanelleful หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Awesome episode 🥺👌🏽🤌🏽

  • @orefilemalebo4173
    @orefilemalebo4173 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Please lower the chairs the short people dangling their feet shame. Great show you are a great host hands down.

    • @kwetsephetla3597
      @kwetsephetla3597 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      😂❤

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @mphihlengmagoro2957
      @mphihlengmagoro2957 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@orefilemalebo4173 hahahaha fully supported 😂😂😂

    • @Bellz_motshwane
      @Bellz_motshwane หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@orefilemalebo4173 😂😂 I actually didn’t notice. I’m super short so this is my everyday struggle even in boardrooms. I get excited when I find those adjustable swinging chairs 😂

  • @B58luja23
    @B58luja23 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    Divorce is always bad bro unless it’s excusable by Jesus. The reason this happens is because y’all aren’t getting married using the guidelines God Gave you not ar you marrying people who’ve given their life to Jesus as well as yourself. All answers are in the bible ouens.

  • @melusigasa1154
    @melusigasa1154 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Informative, well executed interview 💯 ukhulile bhuti and ubizelwe kulento.

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thank you my brother. Siphendula ubizo futhi sethemba ukuthi imiyalelo ka Moya Ongcwele sisahamba nayo. I appreciate this recognition a lot!

  • @NdumisoMazibuko
    @NdumisoMazibuko หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Beautiful episode ❤ So insightful

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you Mr Mazibuko sir.

  • @gustavmorata
    @gustavmorata หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    It was very insightful, but it would be nice if it was based on research rather than just generalisation.

  • @Tom_34321
    @Tom_34321 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    While the guest has some perspective, she takes part in pre-martial aspects (eg drawing marriage contract) and post-marriage aspect (finalising divorce). A lot of opinions on the actual marriage were incorrect. If it was possible, a person in her field, with actual marriage experience and a sound knowledge of stats (even overseas stats, eg most divorces are actually initiated by women, so the question of men leaving high earning women implies that's a big factor when actually tje high earning woman is the one that feels she "deserves better"), such a guest with that real life experience and deeep chats with fellow married people and a knowledge of stats would have contextualised things much better.

    • @Mpho503
      @Mpho503 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Much agree. Lukewarm responses from guest

  • @Mpho503
    @Mpho503 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Lungelo, I loved how you asked questions. So succint with real life scenarios. I understand what you were getting at...to be a fly on the wall of a lawyers office. I felt the answers were lackluster and a bit disappointing. Maybe you can revisit this chat with her being more prepared. Congratulations on your MBL🎉

    • @gugulethu4155
      @gugulethu4155 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I was so afraid to mention being disappointed in some of her answers, considering she is married herself but I assumed she just got married therefore didnt have much to share yet.....The platform is overall a great and very insightful

  • @user-mh5ww4pk6l
    @user-mh5ww4pk6l หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thnks for great episode❤❤

  • @matumelotaole4745
    @matumelotaole4745 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Beautiful intelligent lady ❤❤

  • @thelaalbertscorner
    @thelaalbertscorner หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Very informative ❤❤❤❤

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Glad it was helpful! 🫂

  • @Thando_Khumalo
    @Thando_Khumalo หลายเดือนก่อน

    Enjoyed this episode, this is my new favorite channel now

  • @ratibamohale
    @ratibamohale 26 วันที่ผ่านมา

    A necessary conversation. This was very informative.

  • @zonqoba
    @zonqoba 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I find this conversation unfruitful but an eye opener. If someone says love is not enough in marriage, clearly theres something wrong with you😢love is not a feeling love is a decision you take to love someone everyday im all their weakness unless they were unfaithful in bed. Without love theres no marriage!

  • @sinegugumbili
    @sinegugumbili หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Yes please to the personal brand content

  • @bigthangz5489
    @bigthangz5489 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    7:53 - Freeze your eggs. But NO ONE TELLS the young w0men how much that costs per month !!! Last timr i checked it was around $50 000 dollars/month.
    Does a 23 yr old have that amount of money per month.

    • @Mpho503
      @Mpho503 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I don't know anyone who is freezing any eggs. It's expensive

    • @kabelontobo303
      @kabelontobo303 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Also, the success rate for IVF ranges from 23% -45% as per an article on CapeFertility. So even if you can afford it, it's not as easy as saying I'll freeze my eggs.

  • @mphihlengmagoro2957
    @mphihlengmagoro2957 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Another informative episode.

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน

      It’s always a pleasure. Thank you for being a loyal member 🙏🏿

  • @AnaMella1X
    @AnaMella1X 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Nice video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her...

    • @Nancy-i2s
      @Nancy-i2s 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It's difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let her go. I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back.

    • @AnaMella1X
      @AnaMella1X 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach her.?

    • @Nancy-i2s
      @Nancy-i2s 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Her name is maurice gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...

    • @AnaMella1X
      @AnaMella1X 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online. impressive.

  • @ntombee1818
    @ntombee1818 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Oh I love it here😍

  • @letushilaalina
    @letushilaalina หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Tebello is so amazing 🙏

  • @user-wo2wy8rq4h
    @user-wo2wy8rq4h หลายเดือนก่อน

    excellent topic.Thank u🎉

  • @ItumelengThulo-bp9do
    @ItumelengThulo-bp9do 24 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    A woman will say anything to get out of marriage or relationship, either she says we abusive, we are broke "we dont have that thing"😂😂

  • @vusimngomezulu2500
    @vusimngomezulu2500 26 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Because they don't follow this direction, ephesians 5:22-33.

  • @nontobekobiyela2548
    @nontobekobiyela2548 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Smart lawyer this one

  • @ayandal4744
    @ayandal4744 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    informative!

  • @andilentuli8261
    @andilentuli8261 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Road to 100k

  • @zonqoba
    @zonqoba 20 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    You see this conversation has shown me the danger of taking what God established for His glory and using it for the glory of the flesh and lifestyle.
    I made a decision in my life never to marry a woman who wants a provider and earthly flashy lifestyle. I need a helper suitable for me, marriage should reflect who Christ is, people marry for wrong reasons there's absolutely nothing wrong with marriage the problem lies with the individuals partaking in it.

    • @sifiso3950
      @sifiso3950 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      My brother, you said things the way I see them. People today confuse materialism and God's abundance. Women today have all been brainwashed into believing that point of our existence is the pursue of material opulence and most of them don't have the diligence to obtain it themselves and therefor expect a man to give it to them. One of the biggest lessons I have learnt in life, you cannot buy a person's love and loyalty. You can give a woman everything and she can still disrespect you and be disloyal, so it is useless to even try. A lot of men have been brainwash into thinking that by spoiling a woman, you gain her love, but in actual fact you are suppose to spoil as way to show appreciation of her love and loyalty. You can never do enough for a woman who does not love you, so don't even try. You will always be under pressure because you know she can always be taken away from you at anytime by someone willing to give her more. As man, for you to be happy, you need peace of mind more than anything. The wrong woman will damage you psychologically and spiritually, thus so many men take their lives today.

  • @LethoHali
    @LethoHali หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Hooked!

  • @notv6357
    @notv6357 23 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    How many pipes flush juices into their vaginal opening on their way to age 40 and how it impacts their marriage life later?

  • @busiperiwinkle6368
    @busiperiwinkle6368 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    ❤❤❤

  • @andystar444
    @andystar444 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    whats the point to marry when there is no love why would i sign🤣 a contract to risk my assets

  • @mphihlengmagoro2957
    @mphihlengmagoro2957 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    The traditional reasons for marriage are no longer the deciding factor.. The definition of a marriage has also changed as people explore more different relationships setups. The shame that came with divorce is falling by the way side.

  • @user-tm4mv9cu2h
    @user-tm4mv9cu2h หลายเดือนก่อน

    How do i change from in community to out of community?

    • @EngineerYLShow
      @EngineerYLShow  หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      please contact Sister in Law. she assists with the process.

  • @vuyonkosi209
    @vuyonkosi209 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Sex and children is more important than Money in a marriage ‼️
    If marriage was about money, then every rich man would have 2 or more wives‼️

    • @vuyonkosi209
      @vuyonkosi209 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Why don't women get married to 2 men at the same time if money is more important than sex ⁉️⁉️