ANXIETY TIPS - CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 เม.ย. 2018
- When we worry we try to make the uncertain certain and attempt to control what we have no control over which only makes the anxiety worse. The solution is to move away from the compulsive need to control as when you chase control you chase an illusion....
5 yrs after this was recorded but WOW was this powerful, helpful and timely! So on-the-nose and something that is so easy to forget. Thank you, Dr Kennedy.
Have been dealing with anxiety ever since I remember even as a child . Its even worse now at the age of 57! Then I found your videos by chance here and you seem to really understand how I feel! Amazing ! Thank you and bless you
Hi! I'm 38 and hope to start healing it. It's been awful, from childhood.
Acceptance is the hardest part of the whole process.
My 37 you son recently said to me “it must be exhausting being you. “ it was very painful but I assured him that he was correct and also cruel. Unless you deal with anxiety you can never understand but it would be nice if the people we love would be compassionate and not mockingly cruel.
I’ve learned a lot about my behavior from my kids…. I actually appreciate their honesty
@@godzillamanstreb524 honesty with compassion is possible. For the record, I have a good relationship with my son and have always had open, honest conversation. My comment was in the context of the particular conversation on anxiety. His remark was hurtful no matter how honest it was. It was the way he said it, not that he said it. But thanks for your attempt at schooling me on parent child relationships.
I feel so blessed to have found you! I am 54 years old and have suffered from anxiety and worry my entire life. I have, and have had, amazing therapists, but you are the first person to explain what worry does for me and why it is making situations worse. I suddenly do not feel as scared to not worry. That sounds dramatic, but it's how I feel. Thank you so much!
Earlier this year I sobbed uncontrollably because I had a sense that I'd never ever heal or get over my alarm that was making my life so hard. This is the answer to my suffering. So grateful.
I always cry like hell in every 2 days
Do u have axienty symproms like spinnig heas vertigo
@@ayushimathur27 do u have axienty symptoms like vertigo off balance
@@englishwithhina5398 no
So my takeaway is when you are worrying about something and can't do anything about it, so better ACCEPT the situation rather than RESIST it. Secondly, if you can do something about it, then just have FAITH in yourself and take action.
from someone who’s been dealing with anxiety without medication for a long period of time, this was a very insightful & helpful video. thank you for making the coping easier 🙏🏽
I was taught by my dad to always worry and be on guard because you never know when something bad is going to happen.
On another level, he was very religious and used this as a control mechanic, too.
I’m so sorry that you had to experience that terrible state of anxiety, but I am so glad that you managed to cope with it, to learn how to accept it. And I am so thankful that you’re sharing your knowledge with the world. It means a lot.
I feel relieved, just because you understand how I feel, and you give good advice.
Now my goal is to work on that, to stop longing on that sense of control. Instead, I accept all of my thoughts, feelings and fears. I stop blaming myself for thinking such things. If I am anxious, it doesn’t mean that I will ruin my relationship or my whole life. I accept all of it, and I believe that this anxiety will go away.
My whole life I have lived through the "something has happened" just as you did with your mother. I know exactly how you felt - stressful plus!
I wake up in the morning and feel this sensation, and than I feel like I need to worry. And then I start coming up with some stupid things that can “explain” this anxiety. But in fact it makes everything worse, because I literally create my pain and problems in my life, and it freaks me out so much! Sometimes I have panic attacks because my thoughts scare the shit out of me.
And then I become obsessed with checking in my head if those thoughts are true. I try to control them, but now I understand that it makes everything worse. It’s better to accept all the stupid stuff you’ve created in your head and move on. Whatever it is, they’re not necessarily true. You don’t have to agree with it or like it. Just say to yourself “Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking about. So what? It won’t kill me or ruin my life. It won’t ruin my life. I love muse and accept myself”.
It makes sense. A real eye opener. Very grateful for this.
But I think, Dr Kennedy, that it's totally important to take care of our inself by stroke with 2 hands at the level of solar plexus and a bit down diaphragm. Just doing a circular with both hands like a good mother would do, it's realllly calming & soothing.
Not understanding the action you describe.
Thank you! I heard you tonight on a podcast with Mel Robbins and immediately felt a connection to you. I also grew up with my mom who is bipolar schizophrenic. I started to cry as soon as you said that in the podcast and knew I needed to learn from you. Then I married an alcoholic and lived in anxiety daily for 24 years waiting to see what I’m coming home to everyday. I suffer from anxiety and depression and it’s been worse the past 8 years since I was diagnosed with UC and Breast Cancer.
I worry that being in a constant state of anxiety caused me to have a series of health challenges and that if I don’t get my feelings in check I will get sick again but worse. I’m looking forward to listening to all of your yt videos and getting your book.
I recently discovered this myself. Conplex GI problem w hernias and gastric bypass yrs ago. Fear over obstruction and inability to evac bowels. Severe low sodium of 108 Lost weight of 20 lbs. Going overboard to control diet to things I thought wouldnt obstruct. No ct evidence of obstruction. Decided to let go, eat normal things to gain weight and get stronger. Now getting my plate full is my goal and not whats in the potty. It has given me some relief. anxiety
Sounds like your ideas are mapped onto Maslow's hierarchy quite nicely. Interesting.
Don't believe everything you think...this was just amazing
My anxiety is like hell sometimes I think it’s better to die than suffer with this type of cruelty. It’s tough to ignore bad thoughts it’s challenging. 😰
Lilac. I get it. I’ve been there. Consider following my IG @theanxietymd and maybe get my book. I may be a doctor but I suffered in the extreme with anxiety. That’s why I wrote the book ANXIETY RX.
@@theanxietymd
Doctor I’ve found your book on Amazon it looks good. I will purchase it very soon it’s just what I need.
@@theanxietymd I don’t use Instagram I don’t like it.
@@lilac8321 connect with me on IG if you have any questions. Anxiety does not have to be a life sentence
Thank you! This is exactly what I needed to hear today
Really identified with your story of being a child and feeling as you did when your mother came home a little late.I had that same experience as a young child and believe it is how I learned worry and anxiety.
Your message is so helpful and beautiful. Thank you
love this .... im going to stop trying to control situations and in turn my anxiety.... fabulous advice
This was brilliant.
Thank you!
Love this Guy
Very helpful content, dr!
Thanks ❤just started to watch your videos keep them coming ❤
Thank you so much Dr. Russell. I watched a few of your videos today, and subscribed. You are by far in my opinion, the best on TH-cam for clearly explaining how , why and what anxiety is, and give useful tools to cope and deal with it. God bless you Sir !
Perfect 🥰 💞
Thank you for your videos amd for sharing your experiences and expertise. It’s definitely been of help to me. Anxiety is debilitating and steals your life away. Your work that you are doing here on TH-cam (I know it’s not easy!) is very important.
I am so grateful to you. I feel you have given me an awareness to understand myself better, I send you Love and deep ❤gratitude
Subscribed! Thank you so much!
Thanks AnDe!
Valuable! I will give it a go!
Thank you for your comment Ellena!
Nice😊
Thoughts are not us, but damn if they don't often control us, lol
I really enjoy your content. I look forward to reading your book.
Thank you so much doctor and I love ur book shelf. I got a book shelf but yours better than mine, mine is small . Where did you get ur book shelf from ?
Sometimes, you can win those carnival games, but only if you know the trick to them. How they rig it. Lol
Realizing the information here you said is like learning the trick to the game.
thanx
Thank you Sir, very much.... awareness is very helpful ⛑
Jesus Christ is also the most important to remember, Satin wants us to fail
I have an adopted street cat and I have given up trying to control his behaviour! Kept him inside for his protection but all he wants is to be outside. How can I not worry about him? He fights constantly and is usually the loser. I think if didn't worry anymore I would feel callous, it somehow proves love (?)
Been dealing with extreme health anxiety. No trauma as a child or adult that I am aware of. Have symptoms vary throughout body. What to do.
Wow so very very true Doc were ya from ??
Victoria and Vaancouver British Columbia Canada
@@theanxietymd I like Canadian people better than Americans. I think Canadians are friendly and genuine people then their grumpy unapproachable neighbour USA. I have respect for Canadian people they are lovely good natured people.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Ive been having anxiety and panic for 35 years. I had a 15 + year reprieve in that time. I had several surgeries back, toback, to back. My anxiety and panic returned Bout ten years ago! Mosy days i am in
acceptance . I seem to let it just be and it fades on its own. I occasionally get triggers, and my brain is off to the races. Completely worrying and trying to control the situation. Once in deep into it, it seems to just spiral and theres no wayout but to squash it with medicine. Any tips? I dont like taking pills.
Do you have any videos regarding addiction please?
Listen to Gabor Mate for this 👌🏻👌🏻
Dear Dr. Kennedy~I found this to be so valuable. Alarm = When the mind & body aren’t connected…when I’m in survival brain and all I can see is FEAR & WORRY…and the first step is to get grounded. Then move into acceptance & faith. Also, you’re advice for self compassion that worry isn’t my fault…it’s my go to for “control”….An permanent injury has changed my life and I was resistant to change or accept my new limitations….I asked God many times to take me. You’re information & generous spirit is helping me. I bought your book but don’t know if I can buckle down my shaky self to read it. These videos and you are helping me. I don’t believe I’m nuts…I’m a sensitively wired worrier from 5 years old….and parents who just didn’t recognize or understand what I needed. 🌤Nancy
Nancy, I get it. I’m so sorry you feel that way. It’ll get better. I wish you all the best, and may all your worries go away. Just remember, those thoughts and worries are not necessarily true. They are safe, you are safe.
Ok I can try to accept put the physical sensation of the alarm is what freaks me out. Any help out there?
That's what we need to accept. Those sensations are produced by excess adrenalin. It's basically a false alarm, like someone strolling to find their car in the carpark and a nearby car alarm goes off because it's way too sensitive, so it triggers very easily.
DR. Russell, a question: What if someone you love has a really serious problem of opening up. What should I do so that my boyfriend can open up, or should I just wait until he feels comfortable? Is there anything that I can do?
P.S. I do suffer from anxiety sometimes.
Break up with him until he gets help. That's the only thing you can do. He has to have the motivation to heal/learn to open up. If losing you isn't motivation enough, you're saving yourself from a lifetime of being trapped in an unfulfilling (at BEST) relationship. (And maybe abusive at worst.). And you will become trapped, because you'll likely be trauma bonded to him, and hopelessly stuck believing that you can change him.
Hello Doctor..I suffer from anxiety and tension when I face a problem. My body trembles, my heartbeat increases, and I feel difficult to speak. ..Do you recommend supplement to treat my condition..Please help my age 40 years
So worrying is the lazy version of practical work, eh?
What is your Instagram name? It’s not coming up for me
Hello - it's @theanxietymd