*Hey Frank James* 🤔(have wondered.. if that's your _real_ Name? ~or is it a cover name.. for that you're an FJ.) ☺ I do Hope you'll Respond here ~cuz.. that'll make me Happy!😁 I take it you've read the book now? *The 5 Love Languages* ~GREAT, Enlightening information huh!:D I read it back in 2012 +have never forgot it. Have mentioned it to many others over the years too, ^ ^* to help pass on a better future & understanding =] for their interpersonal relationships. Once you Learn _these_ ..☺you can start to guess:D & See ~which ones someone's is. ☺what their Primary, & then their Secondary 'Love Language' is. For example, Hah; after reading this book! _~I finally figured out my Parents!_ But then, when you THINK about it; dont ya feel bad For _all the individuals!_ Going back, like All the Generations before us! having a hard time, hittin a wall in inter-personal relationships ~Because _THIS HAD'NT BEEN FIGURED OUT YET!_ ...poor things. so Yeah=D I am an INTJ & my Primary 'Love Language' is Words of Affirmation~* & my close runner-up 'Secondary' _is_ (Drumroll.......!) ( ; Gifts! So ☺How about you Frank James (and Is that your real Name) What is _your_ Love Languages? Do you think mine ~fit into (what you thought) for my being an INTJ? ~~~ And does _your?_ Primary & Secondary ~fit what _your_ personality type is? ~and you know I'll appreciate a good Response! ^ ^*
As an INFJ, I feel that there are two types of love language: the love language one receives from others, and the love language one gives to others. Although all of the love languages have their time and place in my interactions, words of affirmation is the love language I most prefer to receive, and a gift (especially one that takes thought and creativity) is the love language I most prefer to give.
yeah, same here. i prefer to give gifts and that is my number one love language to give, but to receive i prefer quality time (talking deep stuff or just silence).
This is exactly what I was going to say! I truly love to give a thoughtful gift, but don't care if I get one...tho it's nice if I do, I much prefer just hanging out.
I just naturally use different love languages for different people. I don't really know what it is, maybe I'm subconciously picking up on what they prefer to receive. I don't do gifts or acts of service too often though. Gifts I probably do the least. I draw my friends things, but I don't really have that much money. I just like learning things with the people I love and really getting deep into others' minds. I'm an ENFJ.
@@flutenanyidk1806 Heads up, your drawings are gifts. Gifts don't require money at all. I've gotten an acorn as a gift, from a walk and a special memory. The sentimentality attached to it makes it worth way more than something purchased with money.
I think all INFP can agree, we all love words of affirmation. We're overthinkers when it comes to our feeling and what other people think is important, therefore we like it when people give us compliment. We doubt ourself a lot, so we need people to tell us we're doing great
Yes but I overthink the compliment and don’t believe them but if say I said something bad about myself and was kind of laughing and they laugh too I overthink it and think that they agree. So basically damned if you do, damned if you don’t
Yeah I totally agree, as an INFP I always overthink and start doubting myself, thinking stuff like "oh they probably don't want me here" so words of affirmation is very comforting and reassuring
So funny that earlier today, me and my friends were discussing about our love languages (before watching this video), and I said that mine is words of affirmation. And then I saw this video and just confirms it for me as an INFP.
Am I the only infp who hates words of affirmation? To me, giving words of affirmation feels like a chore and receiving them feels awkward.. I'd rather show instead of tell. Is there any other infp who agrees? Or maybe it just showcases that the 16 personalities aren't 100% accurate all the time and people are all different
As an INFP not only does receiving a bad gift make me feel awkward, it also makes me really sad. I start thinking about the resources used to make the thing and the money the giver spent on the thing and I just get so sad about not liking the gift and having no use for it. I also get anxious about owning something I don't use but I can't sell or regift the gift either.
OMG LEGITTT and then i feel too bad to throw it out so it just sits in one of my drawers or cupboards and then feel a pang of guilt whenever i see them 😅
I feel the same. I have a wishlist with all the things I want but wouldn't probably buy for myself. With a link on every exact item and with explanations why I need exactly that. My family doesn’t like it at all, they say my wishlist is boring, “who would give a needle plate for a sewing machine for a birthday gift, here, better have some home decorations”
As an INTJ, gifts are weird and I definitely don't want to feel like I owe someone a gift in reciprocation. However, if it is a useful gift then it will be appreciated, the problem is that if we need something that would be useful for us, we probably already got it for ourselves, hence why acts of service can be so great. However, food is always useful, so if you combine that with acts of service... basically, if you bake me a pie I will literally do anything for you.
As another INTJ, I agree that gifts are weird unless it’s food of some kind. I do prefer cake to pie, but almost any food will win my heart. I also feel the least weird reciprocating gifts of food as I love to bake
@@crimson6849 And if they keep insisting I don't need to give them a gift. I"m an INTJ, too, and felt awkward when a guy I helped with school homework for a class, said he was going to buy me lunch. You guys made me realize that I would indeed feel guilty by him doing that when I helped him out (the class we had together was really hard, that I had to take it twice to pass it), I would probably have to do something for him back. It's like an endless cycle and I want him to save money, too.
@xraf32 no because we haven't met in person. And on zoom, my face doesn't show up. He volunteers and gets paid for a church, so I'm pretty sure he is being nice about that. Not to mention, he had to miss class and barely have time to turn in his homework because of his volunteer work he has. Don't know why they weren't flexible for him, knowing he has college classes.
Agree, it’s really hard to give an INTJ a gift. Our natural optimisation means we probably already have what we wanted, unless the INTJ purposely doesn’t supply certain categories of things specifically to give loved ones the opportunity to express their love language. HOWEVER, if you’re one of those magical people whose powers of observation lead you to divine things that improve our life but we didn’t think of, you will be immediately prized over all others and we might also marry you haha
I am an ISTP. 1. Quality Time 2. Acts of Service 3. Physical Touch 4. Gifts 5. Words of Affirmation Most of the time this is how I rank them but certain people have exceptions. For example physical touch tanks higher with my kids than with adults in my family.
Why do ISTP's feel the need to front with their emotions. You guys all say you don't value words of affirmation and then start balling out crying 😭 when your ENFP best friends dedicate a heart felt speech remembering all the good times praising you for all the ways you have helped us and made us laugh even when we were feeling depressed. You guys become a giant box of Kleenex. That being said ENFP's do a good job making everyone we love cry tears of joy. My ISTP friend's honestly hate it😂. I have told all of them that I won't be satisfied until I make or see all of them cry at least once 😊. All of them reluctantly end up crying. Nothing make me happier than helping an ISTP bring out their aspirational ENFJ subconscious. Once that comes out getting them to cry sincere tears of joy isn't so difficult.
@@miamihurricane555 it's not really a matter of them being emotionless but being more comfortable keeping it to themselves. It feels uncomfortable for me to show any kind of emotion that makes me look vulnerable in front of others for many different reasons. But inside, ISTPs are quite caring of others
@@h6llxw66n Oh I know, you guys are my favorite to make friends with. Intelligent, Handy, Funny, Pranksters, Empathetic, Caring, Non judgemental, Loyal, Great Mentors and Listeners, BodyGuards.
I love how ENFJs are not in any "least likely to" List... We just love everything.. Show us any kind of love and we'll grab it and thank you for it for the rest of your life😂
As an infp i confirm: i really dislike acts of service, because it makes me feel awkward. Like, my mom tries to clean my room when i am not at home? Whyyy, i am supposed to clean the whole house, not you. My classmate opening the door for me? Why, i could do that myself and now i am going to walk behind, just to prevent that from happening again, because it's weird. And so on. It's really difficult. Like, i do all of these things for others, but when they do it for me, i start to feel guilty or smth
INFP as well, I always take from me to help others, I often put myself last in priority, so when someone does something for me, it really feels like I'm wasting their time, I can deal without their help, so why should they waste their time for me? Quality time is probably my favorite, but MY kind of quality time, could be a conversation, could be an activity or whatever, but what most important in that is that none of us will hesitate to share
As an INTJ I hate receiving gifts, but it’s one of my favorite ways to show affection. I really enjoy analyzing and thinking about what someone would appreciate and I think it’s amazing and super rewarding when you give someone a gift that they love. It also shows that you were thinking about the person even when they weren’t around. I’ll also say that I think of an act of service as a gift, so I wonder if there are other people who feel the same way. That could be a reason that the poll was so skewed away from gift giving.
I enjoy having the "crown" of best gift giver in the family, but my God, I don't understand why PLEASE JUST GIVE ME GIFT CARDS is so hard for everyone to follow.😫
I completely agree. I bought my best friend a (thoughtful, I'm assuming) gift, I thought long and hard about it, things he'd use for everyday life for Christmas, when I told him I dropped it off at his place he told me he'd buy me something back. I begged him not to because I absolutely hate receiving them (seemed like a gift exchange to me if he did). I just wanted to give him something to show how much our friendship means to me, and I didn't want him to worry about getting anything back. In fact, I had already gotten the gift a week before, and dropped it off a day before so his chances of getting me anything would decrease since the holidays would pass the day right after. That was my logic, haha. Anyway, he didn't thankfully and I'm glad he uses it daily ~From an INFJ
ABSOLUTELY I am SUCH a good gift giver, so I always tend to feel like whatever I receive is less valuable and thoughtless in comparison money though… give me cash as a gift any day $$$ 🤑
As an ENFP, my love language is physical touch. You have a good point with being disconnected, but for me personally physical touch helps me ground and connect myself to the real world.
That's so interesting bc for me it's 100% words of affirmation, then quality time, and then physical touch. I still love affection and physical touch, for sure, but it deffo doesn't rank as highly as reassurance and quality time. personally I value validation in the form of words/text sooooo much, it's crazy. physical touch helps and I love cuddles and comfort, but a kind text or "I love you" or a speech about the different things you like about me is next level in my book. Affection is grounding, for sure, and I really do love a good snuggle/kiss, etc, but omg, a thoughtfully worded letter or artwork or a long text message??? SWOON. But acts of service and gift giving definitely ranks last bc it makes me feel awkward and guilty since I'm not thoughtful or organized in that way so I feel like I'll never be able to reciprocate and will always fall short... Lol. ~Fellow ENFP(T)
As a INFP with a ENTP husband I agree but he likes to bring me little gifts and he knows exactly what I want. Physical touch is also important for both of us
I’m an ENFJ, and I always thought quality time was my main love language (and I think it’s definitely up there) but I’m in a new relationship (with an INFJ!) and experiencing gifts and really high quality words of affirmation for the first time and it’s blowing my mind. I’m so used to supporting others and now my partner makes me feel like a princess
I'm an INTJ and I hate getting gifts because I think so hard about gifts for others. I write down off-hand comments they say about something they want months before I have to get them anything, and I have so many backup ideas and all of them have to show that I know them well and appreciate them, so something that other people wouldn't even think of getting them. I hate getting gifts because I can tell that others don't put nearly as much thought into it as I do and I feel unappreciated no matter what it is.
My one aunt is a notoriously bad gift giver, she means well but I really don't know what to do with all this random stuff clogging my room. Though a few times she'll strike gold like when she got me my first Nancy Drew game. I like quality time and acts of service the most personally. -An INTP
My mom is also a bad gift giver, I’ll receive my basic needs, something small for my hobbies, or random things. This year, for my birthday and 2 holidays I’ve received a pencil box, highlighters, pajamas, and 2 books. (I recieved some chocolates, but I gave them to my sister who’s always hungry.) I might get some new clothes for school as a gift, but I’m not sure, my mom is in a bad mood.
Yeah, for the most part gifts just don't work, my interests are particular enough that only people really invested would get what I'd like (and generally it's just better to let me get it myself). The exceptions are the gifts that are so blatantly practical that giving them counts as acts of service (food, gift card to clothes store I'd use anyway, something practical for home I should get anyway...) Words of affirmation tends to be awkward as well, at least as such and directly: engaging to attentive discussion (ie. quality time) works better. Though I also appreciate hearing that the another person has spoken positively about me to others (does that count as act of service as well? Maybe it does) -Another INTP
ENFP here...I stated once on reddit that I felt like quality time, touch and words of affirmation should be together and some of us thought they should all be one😁. Some of us want all the stuffs all the time, 😆.
You summed it up perfectly! I couldn't wrap my mind around how I felt about all this but when I read this the light bulb went on! --- from a fellow ENFP (obviously lol)
As an INTP, I like quality time because I need to have someone I can share all of the concepts I have floating around in my head with another person in order to have some sort of outlet to reality. I spend most of my time inside my head with all of these new theories, vague concepts and obsessively over worked taxonomies. I really do need to put them out into the world in some little way and have another person give me some perspective and put a little ground under my feet. And of course I need to hear other people's idea because that inspires mine. Acts of service is cool too because I'm super lazy.
I'm an INFP and my love language is gifts. When someone can pick the perfect gift for me on their own, I feel seen and understood. I think it's the feeling that someone pays attention that is the heartwarming part. I can barely tolerate someone who is thoughtless.
I'm an ENFP and I love hugs/physical touch but I feel like just because I enjoy it, it doesn't necessarily mean to me/make me feel really really loved! I feel most loved with thoughtfulness and effort so acts of service and quality time ☺️🥰
very cute video. as an INTJ, i would say for me the best case for each is: gift=useful, words=don't compliment me but instead the thing i worked on, acts=i'm generally a loner and independent so i can't think of anything specific, physical touch=sitting closely, quality time=something peaceful or restorative whether we stay in or go out
INTJ, I agree with *all* of that. - “something peaceful and restorative” Yes… One of the worst birthdays I ever had was when my extroverted husband took me to dinner at our favorite --and too expensive- restaurant and he *invited one of his friends to join us at the last minute!* Someone I didn’t even enjoy being around in any situation. 🙄 They chatted the entire time, while I was mostly silent and totally miserable, and thinking about the huge tab for an evening I didn’t enjoy.
I feel like I have to set things right : I'm an ENFP and my love language is physical touch. Because then my intuition about the other person's thouughts and feelings and emotions becomes pure empathy, they don't just show me their love, they allow me to feel it for real
As an ISFP I would agree that I don't like people just doing stuff for me. Mainly because I like things done my way and I don't really like people touching my stuff.
INTJ here, I might be a little odd, but my primary love language is Physical Touch. Always has been, I think it might have to do with the inferior function Extraverted Sensing. I only like it if I trust the person (which is rare), otherwise I will hands down reject all physical affection. I agree with what several INFJs have said, there is a difference between what love languages you like to give, and what ones you like to receive. I love to give Physical Touch, but some people don’t like that, so I usually give through Gift Giving. I don’t like receiving gifts as much unless it’s food or something useful, and it is defiantly awkward, but give me some wholemade salsa or banana bread, and you will have won my respect. I love Gift Giving, it’s like a puzzle that I was built to solve. I analyze and look for something that is either meaningful or useful to them, then package it fancy and gift it. I have a whole tub of gift bags, bows, and tissue paper so I can efficiently package gifts to look special and fancy. I always include a card with something special or unique to that person. I have several cards where someone gave me Words Of Affirmation, and they make me smile every time I read them. I try to recreate that special moment with every card I write.
As a ENFP I disagree with you on physical touch. It's true that I don't like to be touched but if I hug someone I really love I feel so save and connected to that person. I think physical touch might even be my love language.
Mine is def words of affirmation ,then quality time, then physical touch. I love affection but it doesn't rank nearly as high as words of affirmation. like I need that shit to feel secure and not worry that everyone secretly hates me lol. but again I love myself a little cuddle/kiss/hug/snuggle, but a long letter or effusive text with the reasons you love me? YES PLEASE. NUMERO UNO. haha - Fellow ENFP (T)
As an ENFJ I love doing things, especially for her and often like a surprise, that always brings that genuine sweet smile on her face. It feels like a beautiful flower, which blooms even on extreme winters, which I could never let fade. It is much more than a gift, an act of service or any word of affirmation. It is everything to me. I love my INFP.
This was really interesting. As a fellow INFJ and future counseling professional I love to hear your takes! I have personally always struggled to clearly identify my favorite love language, however I think it would be quality time. Like you said, I appreciate all of them. And I feel as an INFJ I easily accept when my partner does any of these things for me because I can be rather people-pleasing and I want him to know he does a good job...if that makes sense. Most interestingly, my partner is an ISTJ and his love language is easily words of affirmation. I always feel like I am doing practically nothing for him but he is completely satisfied with me telling him how proud I am of him or how much I appreciate him. We are such different people but I appreciate how he makes the effort to understand my need for quality time even if he doesn't really get why I need it.
I'm a bit late to the party (and with a couple of drinks), but I really appreciate what you're communicating here. I'm an INTJ and I greatly appreciate you throwing out what I've been feeling every Christmas, birthday, Easter basket, anniversary, Valentine's Day, and whatever other gift exchange holiday. I HATE getting a gift I figure the other person thinks I'll appreciate, but I don't like because it's literally of no consequence to my life in any way, shape, or form and I feel obligated to pretend I enjoy it to protect their feelings over mine due to the fact I want to show I care about what they want to do, but a beer or a head nod would have done the exact same thing. It puts me in a box, and it drives me nuts. The fact I can take a segment of this video and show it to my wife to explain how I feel without sidetracking myself and going off on a tangent that takes a week to resolve makes me appreciate the time it takes to create this content (and it's a decent business if it creates gains), and let's me know I have to work a little more on how to communicate effectively in a way that doesn't p*ss everyone off.
As an INTP I absolutely agree with 5:06 lol, so words of affirmation are definitely not a good way to make me feel impressed. It's super awkward to hear this in person. Besides that, I don't like to be given gifts not because I don't like them but because people always get it wrong and never give me what I want. About acts of service I do agree that I would prefer that because you can really tell if someone actually means it when they say they care about you just cause I would CERTAINLY NOT do it if I didn't care about them.
INTP: QT time is my love language, which may seem to go against the grain since I spend most of my time in my head, BUT I do like someone around….not talking, but close :))
ENFJ here, I tend to express my love to others through acts of service. In terms of which love language I would best like to receive, it would be words of affirmation (even though it's something I won't readily own up to it to those around me).
As an ENTP, who's main love language is physical touch, I think it's appeal is that it tethers me to reality in the best way possible. Like a balloon on a string. I can hypothesise as much as I want, but a good old hug always assures me, that after floating around, I have a place to come home to. Like, If I work really hard with my brain, to relax and unwind, nothing is better then getting back in touch with my body. Go for a run, sweat in the sauna, get a back rub in front of the TV. Brain is tired. Brain is off. Other aspects are, understanding how ficle a things language is, I just want the other to know I love them without any doubts. And sometimes, it's really nice if everyone just shuts up.
@@RockyRaccoonsFriend Yeah, I think people sometimes forget that ENTPs are ambiverted. We need a lot of alone time. So in very close relationships, we tend to appreciate a partner who let's us have our bouts of introversion. And physical touch is a great way of then still being able to show and receive love, when we're just not up for talking.
I always thought physical touch could be my love language for the same exact reasons you mentioned especially the "a place to come home to..." Part (I think that's what I'm looking in a partner) but I'm always confused. Because if somebody was to "good ol'hug me..." I would be like..."yo....wtf dude....What happened to fist bumps....they already out of trend or something...." Basically I won't like it.
@@JstJaybeingJay Hm, interesting. You could try to study body language, so you'd feel more secure when the occasion arrives. Is it like this with everyone? So, close friends/family and romantic partners as well? I mean, it could always be a cultural expectations vs. personal needs problem.
ISTP: according to one of those tests I have both physical touch and quality time on the top with only a single point difference. I don’t remember which one was first but it could have been either one. Regarding physical touch: I‘m anything but a touchy-feely person so I don’t like to be touched by any random person at all. To really appreciate and enjoy it I would have to trust and like that person very much. But then yes it would be something special for me. I guess my body is a very personal space of mine - not as much as my mind, but still. Regarding quality time: I enjoy both kinds, the shared activity one as well as the hanging out together one. And here I don’t have quite as high standards in regards to how close I am to the person I‘m spending my time with.
I’m an INFP and I: 1. Don’t really like gifts, if you get the wrong gift I’ll be definitely be super awkward and then regret it. 2. Don’t like words of affirmation, it makes me uncomfortable and I don’t know how to respond, I prefer the other person just telling me they love me instead of telling me things like “you look great today” or “you are so pretty” and stuff. 3. Likes more or less acts of service, I mean, I will definitely appreciate it, but I won’t adore it. 4. Adores physical contact, as long as it stays in hugs, cuddling... etc. I don’t like kisses. 5. Enjoys quality time with the other person, as long as we don’t go to parties and stuff What I most like: *deep talk, like expressing our opinions in some topic and making a spiritual connection with the other person*
As an ENTJ, my love language is quality time, because I would never spend it to someone I do not really care for and also know it can be really hard to stay by me so I appreciate it even more when someone makes time for me :)
I’m an INFP and my love languages are primarily words of affirmation and quality time. Acts of service sometimes is nice as well but it depends on the act
I'm an intj and I show my love by giving gifts. I love giving gifts and observing what people need. But yeah, I agree that I receive love by people doing acts of service for me. Actions speak louder than words for me
I'm an ENTP and my love language is acts of service. Funnily enough, I actually scored 0 on words of affirmation. Maybe it's because for me personally it's so easy to say one thing and mean another (like arguing for a point you don't agree with) that words just mean... nothing? It's so easy to say that stuff without being genuine that I just don't get flattered by like any compliments or words of affection.
Also entp. Words don’t mean anything unless congruent action is observed. My love language somehow came out physical touch? Which I am not that into I thought… 🤷🏻♀️
If i receive gifts i dont need or want Im immediately suspicious of the intent. Same with words of affirmation but i think that's got something to do with being in a culturally asian environment; we dont get it often so when it's coming at a right time from the right person it can hit me right in the feels. otherwise I dont trust it at all
Same!! Another example for me is when I have a 'fight' with a friend, a lot of times I don't really feel anything when they say sorry or it just feels out of place for me because to me talking about things, clearing things up and understanding the other person is what'll solve it for me so when my friend says sorry after we had a whole conversation about it, it just feels kinda unnecessary. I don't need them to say sorry, I just want to see that they understood what I said because sorry just kinda feels like an easily spoken word. Idk though, this specific thing might just be a personal thing or dependent on a lot of other factors ㄟ( ▔∀▔ )ㄏ I wonder if any other entp has the same feelings about that
I'm an ENTJ with Gifts as my primary love language...but I'm very vocal about what I like and expect from gift-givers. I think it's fair to express your expectations with any of the love languages, but particularly Gifts, because not everyone is intuitive or observant. I was disappointed enough (and couldn't really hide it) to start communicating what I prefer to receive. It's helped the people close to me a lot!
It varies from person to person...probably that's why. I am an ISFJ and I clearly prefer gifts as long as they are useful, I must admit, but I have almost 0% preference to quality time as I prefer to have this time alone and it suffocates me when people I might even love want to take that time. So... I guess types are not enough to judge that. We still are individuals after all.
Well... I would say the preferred love language might be more connected to the inferior function rather than the top 2... or it isn't related with type at all. I'm an INTP, yes, words af affirmation can be awkward for me, but I like it anyway. And i would say that's the thing with love language - it's not what you are the most familiar with, but the thing which for some reason feels really nice.
ENFP and my preferred is definitely gifts. Having someone pick out something you'd like and make a whole theme like a pamper day with all the different bits! Do agree there's nothing worse than getting a gift with no thought as to whether you'd like it or not
I am an INFP and giving gifts is one of my top love languages. I think a lot of this has to do with being artistic and introverted as kid. I spent a lot of time drawing pictures to show people I liked them because I wasn't the most outgoing kid in the world. There's something very satisfying about creating something unique and personal for someone, or giving them something that's particularly "them," even if I didn't make it. I think there's a lot of misunderstanding about what this love language really is. For example, I dislike holidays or events that mandate giving gifts, like Christmas or weddings, because it feels terrible to be forced to show affection to someone you don't particularly like. No one is entitled to my affection. So I'm not a great gift giver unless I really care about you. I also don't like to receive gifts from people who clearly don't know what kind of person I am. The gift love language is really about paying attention to people and demonstrating that you see who they are by giving them something meaningful. People who like to cook for others may fall into this category, too. My mom would make pies when I was upset that made me feel a lot better. I like "treats."
As an ENTJ, I'd have to say quality time is very important, but I'll never say no to a present. Words of affirmation are nice and all, but I don't need the confidence boost; I love myself too much lol. Actions for me are the worst if done as a surprise as I am a complete control freak. This was a very interesting video, and I look forward to reading others' thoughts.
As an INFJ in a relationship, it always brightens my day when my lady friend offers some random sweet words now and then. Stay well out there everybody, and God bless you friends. :)
ENTP here! i have always got confused on what my love language actually is but now that i think about it, i enjoy those smol things people do to me (cutting fruit, give me food) AND VICE VERSA! i am the happiest when i could give to people. i enjoy physical touch as well, probably too much but ONLYYYY to the person i love dear the most.
ENFP, super physically affectionate. Physical touch has long been my top love language (in a dead heat with words of affirmation). I don’t care that much about QT and acts of service.
Same here! ENFP & Physical touch is a non-negotiable for me. It’s not about sex, but just being physically close together and touching. My top 2 are QT and physical touch. Can ignore the rest.
My mom is an ESTJ and her love language is acts of service, but I'm an extremely independent and curious INFJ and even from a young age didn't like my mom doing stuff for me, I prefer doing things myself, otherwise I feel lazy or unable. My brother is an ISTJ and loves when my mom does stuff for him.
My mother is ENFJ and I'm ISTJ. When I was a kid, I always tried to do house chores like doing the laundry because using washer machine seemed interesting to me. I learned how to use a washer machine when I was 8 and after that, my mother always asked me to do the laundry. 😂 Now, I manage my own stuffs because if my mother did it, she's probably gonna put them in the unusual place. Besides, I don't want to burden her. She cooks, she does the laundry, she has exam papers to check. I'll feel guilty if I don't help her.
I personally feel like love languages are more about how you express your love rather than how you want to receive love. I honestly wouldn’t mind receiving love from someone in whatever way is most comfortable for them to express it.
I’m an INFP and my number one love language is physical touch. I like feeling close to people and sometimes I’m too scared to express how I feel in words. Also I don’t really know how to accept compliments so sometimes I feel really awkward. I think compliments are on a scale for me. If you compliment me too much I feel really awkward and don’t know how to respond. But please give me compliments from time to time because I need validation and confirmation that your feelings haven’t changed. Touch is something I know how to respond to and it’s a constant reminder that my person is there :)
Intj here, I don't like gifts...I feel like I'm now obligated to give them back some day....id prefer quality time and maybe after sometime physical touch
I'm a ISFJ and prefer quality time for me, more than gifts or words of affirmation. I know, is too much for the people say those words, it's awkward.😅 I prefer express affection for others with acts of service.
infp woman here: physical touch: i LOVE it. if you give me cuddles, hugs, cheek or forehead kisses, or hold my hand i’ll gladly give my life for you. quality time: absolutely. i need to spend my one-on-one time with my friends because it’s just so nice to be alone together, yknow? words of affirmation: i’ll literally cry. when people tell me how well i’m doing it makes my heart swell, because i feel deprived of it so if you affirm me you deserve lots of hugs
ENFP LIST 1. quality time ( doing something fun with people you like ) 2. Acts of service 3. words of affirmation (i appreciate it but i feel awkard too idk why but sometimes i “reveive” it more ) 4.gifts 5. physical touch (i don’t really like physical touch with friends but with my family , people that i’m really close with and love , i love hugs for exemple )
I'm an INFP. My love language is Gifts. I grew up receiving gifts from relatives and teachers and remember how appreciate and loved I feel. (And smart, cuz Academic Awards lol) Maybe I want the others to know that I appreciate, love and pay attention to them cuz that's my experience with gifts and I know what to give for them so that's out of questions. I associate gifts with caring really. I remember my grandfather gave me a calculator when I was a child and I love that calculator cuz my grandfather gave it to me. It's not that hard to guess what they want but not need, like my teen cousin love BTS, just gave her BTS keychain and that trendy bucket hat. Pay my friends food cuz I feel good that day and has some extra money. Just give them what they want, not need. Like they want it, but don't want to waste their money on it like, a custom made keychain of their pet for example (never done it before but it just an example). Unless you really close to them and knows why they need, that's a bonus. Everytime I give someone a gift, I was like "now they know that I care about them" not knowing that not everyone has the Gift has love language. I didn't know about love languages until 3 months ago. I do hope they don't feel weird out tho,now that I think about it. Or maybe I just overthinking huhuh haha. Lol
Most thoughtful gift ever received: when working down at a research station in Antarctica, we couldn't just make a trip to Target when it came time to find Secret Santa gifts. That meant people had to get creative. The person who got me drew/painted a picture of a penguin barbershop quartet wearing "Big Red" vests, standing in front of Ob Hill (a hill right at the edge of the station). I absolutely loved it, and it's small enough that I've been able to bring it with me since and use it as a little something to decorate wherever I happen to be living! Also, rocks, strings, seeds, and any number of other items from the students I work with (6 years and under). It's not thoughtful in the sense of being personalized with your likes and dislikes in mind. However, a seemingly random and worthless item a child that age finds can mean the world to them, so if they decide to give it to you, it's quite a compliment! Do you respond well to words of affirmation: if it's something I agree with, yes. If I don't think it's true (not that the speaker is untrustworthy, just because my mind tells me it can't be), my hesitancy to accept the compliment can come through fairly easily though. Do you prefer Words of Affirmation or Acts of Service: Words of Affirmation, without a doubt. Are you a touchy-feely kind if person: not in the slightest. What do you consider to be quality time: time spent together that allows for a conversation that goes beyond surface level, and/or a shared memory to be created that is meaningful to all parties involved. The type of thing you can look at 5, 10, or more years down the road and say, "Hey, I'm glad we got to have that experience together."
I once told my ESFP mom we should spend more quality time together since I'm on holidays... She took me to the mall to go clothes shopping and forgot about me ;-;
As an infj and neurodivergent i like giving gifts. I gift sth i see in store and it reminds me of them (fave color or snack or sth they need) and sumtimes i'll hunt a video game they like or a key chain that symbolizes our thing or sth, maybe give a gift card to receive massage from me, make paintings, give love notes to compensate what i lack in spoken communication to tell how i feel and think.. but yea i like gifting buncha stuff. I like to shower other with my love. I am quite touchy and if other doesn't touch me and doesn't seem to enjoy and appreciate my cuddles and closeness, i feel so hurt and unsure etc. I think touch is how i receive mostly. I also enjoy spending time together, doing sth together or separately in the same space and have deep talks and i kinda need texting or seeing physically semi often to reassure me and maintain connection/bond. Mental connection, humour and wittyness etc is a turn on and a must in relationship. And ofc it's nice to sumtimes receive stuff and see other making sum effort but i don't require it as much. And i don't necessarily have that much energy to do stuff for other and prefer making equal effort on that part. Also when younger had sum in*p exes that lacked in doing stuff and i sucked asserting etc and felt kinda used/taken for granted/exhausted/alone with chores so.. but they did play me videogames tho and let me create their characters, that was nice xD
as an enfp I greatly value physical touch because it grounds me and brings me back to the "real world." cuddling with someone I care about for hours on end is one of the best feelings in the world!
INTJ here. My highest LLs are quality time and physical touch. I do appreciate acts of service too for sure. Quality time is important because don't waste my time, EVER. That is a huge no-no so for me, how we spend our time is crucial. When I spend time with you, that is an absolute manifestation of love. And I expect it from my loved ones. That's how I show them love and how I expect to receive it. I also need physical affection with my loved ones. I'm a hugger for sure. Acts of service is down a bit on the list because let's be honest, as an INTJ, I'm going to critique those acts. I want things done a certain way and it's just better if I do it myself. ;-)
What I find funny is the fact that I am an ENFP and I would say physical touch is in my top 2. However I am guessing most people are thinking romantically with this question and not just day to day friendship and family affection. As an ENFP the biggest thing in a romantic relationship to me would be having that close spiritual connection with someone before getting into the physical relationship.
ENTJ speaking. I am so about acts of service as a love language specifically because I schedule everything in my life including my free time and time is so valuable that the best gift someone could give me is some of my time back in the form of taking some responsibility of my plate.
For the most part, I really do not enjoy being touched. However, I love hugging my kids, and my husband, because I love them more than anyone else. So, while Physical Touch is not my top love language, I do consider it to be an important part of the way I express/receive love.
@@altitudeiseverything3163 I'm an INTP and exactly the same for me. I remember that when I was a teen my (female) classmates started giving a lot of hugs for some reason. I hated it! It was super super awkard and I didn't know what to do xD
@@arianam9977At least COVID has given us a reason to reject those awkward hugs. A raised hand, accompanied by “I’m not quite ready for that, but it’s so good to see you.” . . . I will *never* be ready for that! 😂
As an FP type, yes, PLEASE make sure you know what I like for gifts! I'd rather you not get me anything than get me something I don't enjoy tbh lol But when I do get a gift that I like, I really appreciate it 🙂 And yes, acts of service are nice, but I'd rather be doing something for them than them doing something for me 😂 As an XXFP, physical touch varies for me. If you have an FP friend, I'd suggest asking them if that's something they're comfortable with 🙂 I love quality time! I tend to have a hard time asking others to hang out, but I wish I didn't because I love being with people I'm close with. I'm often worried that the other person doesn't want to spend time with me, so I'd suggest making it abundantly clear to your FP friend whether or not you would want to hang out with them. If you don't, that'll probably hurt but at least they'll know already.
[INTJ] My preferred love languages are acts of services and words of affirmation (though this last one may give me imposter syndrome on occasions...). Quality time is good and all but I don't need a lot of it. Same for physical touch. Meanwhile, gifts... make me uncomfortable, but I like useful gifts like a pen with a nice ink or a mug with an appealing or/and thoughtful design.
I'm an INFP and I'm a HUGE fan of physical touch. I love to give hugs and snuggle w/ someone. I'm kinda clingy with those I love lol. I'm pretty open with my affection. Oddly enough, I'm SUPER awkward when it comes to verbal expressions of love. Like my sibling's love language is words of affirmation as they'll tell me they love me randomly and I basically malfunction. Lately, I've started just going on autopilot and immediately responding with an 'i love u too' and then cringe at myself lol
im an infj and i love to get words of affirmation- compliment/reassure me and ill fall in love with you. but im the type of person to show their love through acts of services :)
I’m a thinking type and I actually need words of affirmation because that’s my only source of reliable information on where I stand in the other’s view of the world. I cannot read this and I gave up attempting to overthink and deduce, because feelings are completely illogical and hard to guess for me. So if someone speaks their feelings out loud, it is a huge help.
I'm ISTP. 1. Physical touch. 2. Words of affirmation. 3. Quality time. 4. Acts of service 5. Gifts. I think the biggest error at thinking words of affirmation as one of the least preferred for ISTP was not taking into account the introverted part. It's exactly why some of us value it the most, people who can see positive aspects of us even with the fact that we don't communicate a lot and they say it to us as a compliment, dude/girl you've won a place into my heart.
"I'm so easy. Just clean the kitchen, tell me I'm pretty, and I'm yours forever," I told my husband when we started dating. Fourteen years later, my house is clean, my love tank full, and we're still madly in love. I'm the kite, and he's the string 💕 INFP (clearly me) with an ENTJ
I haven't seen the video yet but am an INFP with enneagram type 4w5. My love language is words of affirmation, just them telling me they love me and care for me would be enough. But sometimes I require quality time with a side of physical touch. Like, just lying down on a sofa, cuddling. Then I also like getting literally any kind of gift, like even if you go for a walk out of the house, just pick me a flower and I'll cherish it and you forever! Acts of service alone is never enough for me, just ignoring me all day but making sure my clothes are folded, yeah, no thank you, I'll have literally any other love language or acts of service with another love language to support it. Edit - He got it right about acts of service omg!!!
Thanks for uploading it, the video was really interesting and as an intp I totally related to acts of service (in fact, I voted for it) sometimes the words others say seem so cliche or cheesy (even when I know they're trying their best to make me feel loved) that it's difficult for me to hear them and to give those words back, but maybe preparing a good meal, giving my jacket or helping them with something they have problems solving is easier and its only then when I feel that I'm expressing my affection truly. Maybe the deal is that I want to be useful for those I love and want them to know they can depend on me.
It's really accurate, I'm ISFP and when I've read about 5 love languages, I identified the most with "words of affirmation". On the other hand some time ago one guy said to me that he don't like that I like to do everything by myself, so it's true, "acts of service" is probably my the least preffered love language.
For me, receiving gifts kinda makes me feel that I need to turn that back as soon as possible. I struggle with expressing my feelings Idk how I will be when receiving words of affirmation. I definitely hate being touched by people and I hate when they're bugging around saying nonsense so im not sure about physical touch and quality time. I also usually tend to be somewhat independent n do things by my own so acts of service don't really matter for me I would guess.. Im not assertive of anything cuz Ive been single since I was born.
As an intj, I remembered I asked all my friends to go to store with me before the birthday party and let me pick my own birthday gift and then they can pay for it. I did that when I was 12. There is a reason why I don’t have too many friends I guess
Frank: Says that ENFPs (Me) and ENTPs (Dad) hate Physical Touch. Also Frank: ISTPs love physical touch (Brother). Me: 'That can't be true because I love hugs and so does my dad, but if you touch my brother he'll go into the woods for hours to recover from that assault.'
Yess I was so confused cause the stereotype of ENFP is hugs 😂😂😂 and as an ENFP w physical touch as my main receiving love language, this stereotype is true
The 5 Love Languages (as applied to 🌮 ): Words of Affirmation: your tacos are delicious. Acts of Service: I made you tacos. Receiving Gifts: Here's a taco. Quality Time: Let's go out for tacos together. Physical Touch: Let me hold you like a taco. 🌮
As an INTP, I can confirm I absolutely hate words of affirmation and I especially hate responding. Like "cool, that's how you feel." Personally, I prefer physical touch because it's a tangible thing that shows appreciation and it's not something I feel forced to respond to, I can just appreciate and enjoy it.
bro same. i have an infp friend who i feel like is too affectionate. she chats me like she's my girlfriend or something. and it's really getting annoying and cringy for me. maybe it's cuz i didnt grow up with that kind of thing but i really just prefer the subtle ones, like quality time or something - intp
Fellow INTP here. I feel the exact same way as you. Words of affirmation just makes me feel so awkward. I usually just give a thumbs up and say thanks. Physical touch for me is the most direct way to show your appreciation and affection. 👍🏽
Anime fanatic, I totally get what you're saying. I absolutely hate being hugged or people even trying to give me a high five. But if it's someone I care about communicating to me that they are there for me and love me, then it becomes something that feels safe and meaningful as opposed to vulnerable, invasive, and awkward. So essentially, Im really relying on the "love" part of the phrase "love language", because it applies to people I feel safe around. Hope that clears up a bit of what I meant :)
Funny, I'm an INFP and some time ago I took some test on this and I got "acts of service" as my prefered love language. Idk, am I weird? Also, I'm married with an ESTP since 11 years ago and he got "quality time" as his favorite language. 😂 Maybe I got "acts of service" because I really like when he notices I'm struggling with something stupid like trying to open a bottle and he comes to my rescue, or when he does things for me that I don't want to do, like speak with customer service on the phone or things like that. But if I have to guess what are our second love languages, I'd say words of affirmation are important to me, and physical touch is important for him.
Yeah I don't know that his analysis was very accurate. Another INTP friend and I both got words of affirmation as one of our highest, and acts of service as one of our lowest. My two ISTP friends DESPISE hugs and my ISTJ dad has physical touch as his highest by far. Another ENFP I know hugs literally everyone he sees. In fact it'd be pretty accurate if he just said the exact opposite of what he said. xD
Same here! I think it's because as INFP's we value sincerity and authenticity very highly, so we might be suspicious of other people simply saying how much we mean to them. (who hasn't heard that before) However, if they show it by actually acting in ways that reflect those affirmations we are much more likely to be positively affected imo.
@@dylangeorge5985 I think Frank's analysis isn't bad since he's just talking about probability. But it could have been better if he took in account the fact that most people actually have 2 dominant love languages, not just 1.
@@victorian_chandelier Yeah it's difficult to tell if there's any real-world correlation though even if it makes sense in theory. On the other hand, the correlation may run opposite to the "theory" because maybe personalities like being loved in ways that run counter to how they interact with the world. For example, a non-sensory person might appreciate a sensation like physical touch more than other love languages because that sort of thing is less common to them, and thus makes the display of love more special and unique.
INTJ here. Receiving gifts is always stressful for me. Most of the stuff is absolutely useless. People usually don’t understand what I like and what I need. So I prefer to buy things by myself! But if someone buys a really thoughtful gift for me, I’ll love them forever!
@@ChristinaT2208 😂 Most INTJs will appreciate if you ask them what to buy for them, because we are not so much into surprises. But could be that they say: “Don’t buy me anything!” And they mean it. Then I would recommend to go out together, do something special and you pay for it.
"Something mundane... like hitting the like button" got me, I'm not gonna lie. I actually stopped what I was doing (the vid has been playing in the background while I clean the house) to press the button. Well played, FJ. 👏🏼
As a ENFP, I like Physical Touch more than Frank realizes. ENFPs are like Golden Retrievers , we could handle getting pet from all angles. We will wag our tail all day if you gonna pet us.
Same bro I need my cuddles and hugs it helps my with my anxiety and sadness also I’m showing the other person how much I care about them by being comfortable with touch
my mom is an intj and she used to buy her own gifts and give them to my dad to give to her on special occasions because whenever he picked something out for her she was very bluntly disappointed X) "it's the thought that counts" did not apply
@@singuliarumas370 No, no, no…. That could result in not getting the precise thing we want. Guaranteed that we have researched it to death before making a final choice! I always buy my own gift for birthday/holiday weeks in advance and then announce to my husband, “BTW, you bought me XXXX for my birthday. Thank you, I love it!” 😉 [I hate getting useless gifts that only take up space.]
INFP who's love language is Quality Time. If ya like sitting in the same room both doing our own thing in complete silence that doesn't feel awkward... I'm you're type of friend 😅😂
THIS. I've dated people who can't stand me playing video games or reading a book while they squirm around and can't figure out what to do with themselves.
@@docmars okayy, my bf plays games all night & I usually watch youtube/netflix on the couch. It doesn't feel awkward to us and besides the occasional 'hey babe, you want a drink/snack?' we just enjoy sweet, sweet silence 😂😄
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*Hey Frank James*
🤔(have wondered.. if that's your _real_ Name? ~or is it a cover name.. for that you're an FJ.) ☺ I do Hope you'll Respond here ~cuz.. that'll make me Happy!😁
I take it you've read the book now? *The 5 Love Languages* ~GREAT, Enlightening information huh!:D I read it back in 2012 +have never forgot it. Have mentioned it to many others over the years too, ^ ^* to help pass on a better future & understanding =] for their interpersonal relationships. Once you Learn _these_ ..☺you can start to guess:D & See ~which ones someone's is. ☺what their Primary, & then their Secondary 'Love Language' is. For example, Hah; after reading this book! _~I finally figured out my Parents!_
But then, when you THINK about it; dont ya feel bad For _all the individuals!_ Going back, like All the Generations before us! having a hard time, hittin a wall in inter-personal relationships ~Because _THIS HAD'NT BEEN FIGURED OUT YET!_ ...poor things.
so Yeah=D I am an INTJ
& my Primary 'Love Language' is
Words of Affirmation~*
& my close runner-up 'Secondary' _is_ (Drumroll.......!) ( ; Gifts!
So ☺How about you Frank James
(and Is that your real Name) What is _your_ Love Languages?
Do you think mine ~fit into (what you thought) for my being an INTJ? ~~~ And does _your?_ Primary & Secondary ~fit what _your_ personality type is?
~and you know I'll appreciate a good Response! ^ ^*
You are definitely an Infj.. a good one 2.. 👍
AUTHENTICITY is what is important. The language doesn't matter. I'm an ENFP 🤗
Whats YOUR personality type?
As an INFJ, I feel that there are two types of love language: the love language one receives from others, and the love language one gives to others. Although all of the love languages have their time and place in my interactions, words of affirmation is the love language I most prefer to receive, and a gift (especially one that takes thought and creativity) is the love language I most prefer to give.
yeah, same here. i prefer to give gifts and that is my number one love language to give, but to receive i prefer quality time (talking deep stuff or just silence).
This is exactly what I was going to say! I truly love to give a thoughtful gift, but don't care if I get one...tho it's nice if I do, I much prefer just hanging out.
Mood.
I just naturally use different love languages for different people. I don't really know what it is, maybe I'm subconciously picking up on what they prefer to receive.
I don't do gifts or acts of service too often though. Gifts I probably do the least. I draw my friends things, but I don't really have that much money.
I just like learning things with the people I love and really getting deep into others' minds.
I'm an ENFJ.
@@flutenanyidk1806 Heads up, your drawings are gifts. Gifts don't require money at all. I've gotten an acorn as a gift, from a walk and a special memory. The sentimentality attached to it makes it worth way more than something purchased with money.
I think all INFP can agree, we all love words of affirmation. We're overthinkers when it comes to our feeling and what other people think is important, therefore we like it when people give us compliment. We doubt ourself a lot, so we need people to tell us we're doing great
Yes but I overthink the compliment and don’t believe them but if say I said something bad about myself and was kind of laughing and they laugh too I overthink it and think that they agree. So basically damned if you do, damned if you don’t
Yeah I totally agree, as an INFP I always overthink and start doubting myself, thinking stuff like "oh they probably don't want me here" so words of affirmation is very comforting and reassuring
So funny that earlier today, me and my friends were discussing about our love languages (before watching this video), and I said that mine is words of affirmation. And then I saw this video and just confirms it for me as an INFP.
@@Grace-td5dd you’re being too definitive I could literally feel that now ima cry
Am I the only infp who hates words of affirmation? To me, giving words of affirmation feels like a chore and receiving them feels awkward.. I'd rather show instead of tell. Is there any other infp who agrees? Or maybe it just showcases that the 16 personalities aren't 100% accurate all the time and people are all different
As an INFP not only does receiving a bad gift make me feel awkward, it also makes me really sad. I start thinking about the resources used to make the thing and the money the giver spent on the thing and I just get so sad about not liking the gift and having no use for it. I also get anxious about owning something I don't use but I can't sell or regift the gift either.
OMG LEGITTT and then i feel too bad to throw it out so it just sits in one of my drawers or cupboards and then feel a pang of guilt whenever i see them 😅
I feel the same. I have a wishlist with all the things I want but wouldn't probably buy for myself. With a link on every exact item and with explanations why I need exactly that. My family doesn’t like it at all, they say my wishlist is boring, “who would give a needle plate for a sewing machine for a birthday gift, here, better have some home decorations”
@@ilaeoa appreciate the gift list myself
Omg yes and I've always wondered why only I have seemed to feel like that
Same, it's not that it's just simply sad, it also makes us hope that atleast it's something personal and meaningful.
As an INTJ, gifts are weird and I definitely don't want to feel like I owe someone a gift in reciprocation. However, if it is a useful gift then it will be appreciated, the problem is that if we need something that would be useful for us, we probably already got it for ourselves, hence why acts of service can be so great. However, food is always useful, so if you combine that with acts of service... basically, if you bake me a pie I will literally do anything for you.
As another INTJ, I agree that gifts are weird unless it’s food of some kind. I do prefer cake to pie, but almost any food will win my heart. I also feel the least weird reciprocating gifts of food as I love to bake
The only gifts that won’t be awkward for me to accept are probably pet food, money, or a free dinner.
@@crimson6849 And if they keep insisting I don't need to give them a gift. I"m an INTJ, too, and felt awkward when a guy I helped with school homework for a class, said he was going to buy me lunch. You guys made me realize that I would indeed feel guilty by him doing that when I helped him out (the class we had together was really hard, that I had to take it twice to pass it), I would probably have to do something for him back. It's like an endless cycle and I want him to save money, too.
@xraf32 no because we haven't met in person. And on zoom, my face doesn't show up. He volunteers and gets paid for a church, so I'm pretty sure he is being nice about that. Not to mention, he had to miss class and barely have time to turn in his homework because of his volunteer work he has. Don't know why they weren't flexible for him, knowing he has college classes.
Agree, it’s really hard to give an INTJ a gift. Our natural optimisation means we probably already have what we wanted, unless the INTJ purposely doesn’t supply certain categories of things specifically to give loved ones the opportunity to express their love language. HOWEVER, if you’re one of those magical people whose powers of observation lead you to divine things that improve our life but we didn’t think of, you will be immediately prized over all others and we might also marry you haha
I am an ISTP.
1. Quality Time
2. Acts of Service
3. Physical Touch
4. Gifts
5. Words of Affirmation
Most of the time this is how I rank them but certain people have exceptions. For example physical touch tanks higher with my kids than with adults in my family.
alr bbg i got it all noted
same 😊
Why do ISTP's feel the need to front with their emotions. You guys all say you don't value words of affirmation and then start balling out crying 😭 when your ENFP best friends dedicate a heart felt speech remembering all the good times praising you for all the ways you have helped us and made us laugh even when we were feeling depressed. You guys become a giant box of Kleenex. That being said ENFP's do a good job making everyone we love cry tears of joy. My ISTP friend's honestly hate it😂. I have told all of them that I won't be satisfied until I make or see all of them cry at least once 😊. All of them reluctantly end up crying. Nothing make me happier than helping an ISTP bring out their aspirational ENFJ subconscious. Once that comes out getting them to cry sincere tears of joy isn't so difficult.
@@miamihurricane555 it's not really a matter of them being emotionless but being more comfortable keeping it to themselves. It feels uncomfortable for me to show any kind of emotion that makes me look vulnerable in front of others for many different reasons. But inside, ISTPs are quite caring of others
@@h6llxw66n Oh I know, you guys are my favorite to make friends with. Intelligent, Handy, Funny, Pranksters, Empathetic, Caring, Non judgemental, Loyal, Great Mentors and Listeners, BodyGuards.
I love how ENFJs are not in any "least likely to" List... We just love everything.. Show us any kind of love and we'll grab it and thank you for it for the rest of your life😂
Exactly 😅
Lol that's so true
Exactly 🙌🏼
As an infp i confirm: i really dislike acts of service, because it makes me feel awkward. Like, my mom tries to clean my room when i am not at home? Whyyy, i am supposed to clean the whole house, not you.
My classmate opening the door for me? Why, i could do that myself and now i am going to walk behind, just to prevent that from happening again, because it's weird.
And so on. It's really difficult. Like, i do all of these things for others, but when they do it for me, i start to feel guilty or smth
Infj here. I can relate.
fellow INFP here and I totally can relate. I feel like a child when someone does things for me. Like they think I can't take care of it myself.
INFP as well, I always take from me to help others, I often put myself last in priority, so when someone does something for me, it really feels like I'm wasting their time, I can deal without their help, so why should they waste their time for me?
Quality time is probably my favorite, but MY kind of quality time, could be a conversation, could be an activity or whatever, but what most important in that is that none of us will hesitate to share
Thats a mirror.. you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
Same
As an INTJ I hate receiving gifts, but it’s one of my favorite ways to show affection.
I really enjoy analyzing and thinking about what someone would appreciate and I think it’s amazing and super rewarding when you give someone a gift that they love. It also shows that you were thinking about the person even when they weren’t around.
I’ll also say that I think of an act of service as a gift, so I wonder if there are other people who feel the same way. That could be a reason that the poll was so skewed away from gift giving.
I like giving gifts, but I don't really want any because I have everything I need or want enough
I enjoy having the "crown" of best gift giver in the family, but my God, I don't understand why PLEASE JUST GIVE ME GIFT CARDS is so hard for everyone to follow.😫
I completely agree. I bought my best friend a (thoughtful, I'm assuming) gift, I thought long and hard about it, things he'd use for everyday life for Christmas, when I told him I dropped it off at his place he told me he'd buy me something back. I begged him not to because I absolutely hate receiving them (seemed like a gift exchange to me if he did). I just wanted to give him something to show how much our friendship means to me, and I didn't want him to worry about getting anything back. In fact, I had already gotten the gift a week before, and dropped it off a day before so his chances of getting me anything would decrease since the holidays would pass the day right after. That was my logic, haha. Anyway, he didn't thankfully and I'm glad he uses it daily
~From an INFJ
ABSOLUTELY
I am SUCH a good gift giver, so I always tend to feel like whatever I receive is less valuable and thoughtless in comparison
money though… give me cash as a gift any day $$$ 🤑
Omg is so cool to find people that are basically like me🙈
Please do a video on INFJ's dating each personality type, or trying to. I NEED THIS FRANK!
Same here !!!!
Yoooo this would actually be dope. It would be even better if he made it a series. Each personality type dating each personality type
That would help a lot 😅
Agree
Me too !
As an ENFP, my love language is physical touch. You have a good point with being disconnected, but for me personally physical touch helps me ground and connect myself to the real world.
That's so interesting bc for me it's 100% words of affirmation, then quality time, and then physical touch. I still love affection and physical touch, for sure, but it deffo doesn't rank as highly as reassurance and quality time. personally I value validation in the form of words/text sooooo much, it's crazy. physical touch helps and I love cuddles and comfort, but a kind text or "I love you" or a speech about the different things you like about me is next level in my book. Affection is grounding, for sure, and I really do love a good snuggle/kiss, etc, but omg, a thoughtfully worded letter or artwork or a long text message??? SWOON. But acts of service and gift giving definitely ranks last bc it makes me feel awkward and guilty since I'm not thoughtful or organized in that way so I feel like I'll never be able to reciprocate and will always fall short... Lol. ~Fellow ENFP(T)
ENFP here, absolute same!!
ENFP, and yes! I agree
Same for me! I looove physical touch (I'm infp btw)
@@frecklesandwine Exactly me
As an ENTP I get on love language tests:
37% Words of Affirmation
27% Quality Time
20% Physical Touch
13% Acts of Service
3% Gifts
Same here, entp as well
same
I'm entp too but for some reason I hate words of affirmation D:
Yes! Also entp. Haven't tested but don't need to. Words of affirmation and quality are hands down what I need. And give.
As a INFP with a ENTP husband I agree but he likes to bring me little gifts and he knows exactly what I want. Physical touch is also important for both of us
I’m an ENFJ, and I always thought quality time was my main love language (and I think it’s definitely up there) but I’m in a new relationship (with an INFJ!) and experiencing gifts and really high quality words of affirmation for the first time and it’s blowing my mind. I’m so used to supporting others and now my partner makes me feel like a princess
I'm an INTJ and I hate getting gifts because I think so hard about gifts for others. I write down off-hand comments they say about something they want months before I have to get them anything, and I have so many backup ideas and all of them have to show that I know them well and appreciate them, so something that other people wouldn't even think of getting them. I hate getting gifts because I can tell that others don't put nearly as much thought into it as I do and I feel unappreciated no matter what it is.
My one aunt is a notoriously bad gift giver, she means well but I really don't know what to do with all this random stuff clogging my room. Though a few times she'll strike gold like when she got me my first Nancy Drew game. I like quality time and acts of service the most personally.
-An INTP
Yes, and you won’t ever throw those gifts away.
same-INTP
My mom is also a bad gift giver, I’ll receive my basic needs, something small for my hobbies, or random things.
This year, for my birthday and 2 holidays I’ve received a pencil box, highlighters, pajamas, and 2 books. (I recieved some chocolates, but I gave them to my sister who’s always hungry.) I might get some new clothes for school as a gift, but I’m not sure, my mom is in a bad mood.
Yeah, for the most part gifts just don't work, my interests are particular enough that only people really invested would get what I'd like (and generally it's just better to let me get it myself). The exceptions are the gifts that are so blatantly practical that giving them counts as acts of service (food, gift card to clothes store I'd use anyway, something practical for home I should get anyway...)
Words of affirmation tends to be awkward as well, at least as such and directly: engaging to attentive discussion (ie. quality time) works better. Though I also appreciate hearing that the another person has spoken positively about me to others (does that count as act of service as well? Maybe it does)
-Another INTP
I’m also an intp and my aunt usually gives me junk but she gave me a new look gift card. I’m not really into fashion however it’s still useful
ENFP here...I stated once on reddit that I felt like quality time, touch and words of affirmation should be together and some of us thought they should all be one😁. Some of us want all the stuffs all the time, 😆.
Hugs are life.
@@Chigger Hug=Love
ENFP here...........
You summed it up perfectly! I couldn't wrap my mind around how I felt about all this but when I read this the light bulb went on! --- from a fellow ENFP (obviously lol)
Yes. This is exactly me.
As an INFP, I feel the same. Hugs are the best 😊
As an INTP, I like quality time because I need to have someone I can share all of the concepts I have floating around in my head with another person in order to have some sort of outlet to reality. I spend most of my time inside my head with all of these new theories, vague concepts and obsessively over worked taxonomies. I really do need to put them out into the world in some little way and have another person give me some perspective and put a little ground under my feet. And of course I need to hear other people's idea because that inspires mine.
Acts of service is cool too because I'm super lazy.
Same
I have been advised to share my concepts on the tube but I don't know if this is wise
👻🤐
@@louisejoel same some of them are really weird.
@@weepinangel4485 We should do this, Jordan Peterson has regrets but he's not living in his parent's basement
I'm an INFP and my love language is gifts. When someone can pick the perfect gift for me on their own, I feel seen and understood. I think it's the feeling that someone pays attention that is the heartwarming part. I can barely tolerate someone who is thoughtless.
FJ: ENFPs are least likely to pick physical touch as their love language.
Me, and ENFP who loves hugs: 👁👄👁
This shocked me too, ENFPs are some of the most hug-oriented people I know!
Right?? Every ENFP loves hugs
@@mcgil8891 Oh yes!
I'm an ENFP and I love hugs/physical touch but I feel like just because I enjoy it, it doesn't necessarily mean to me/make me feel really really loved! I feel most loved with thoughtfulness and effort so acts of service and quality time ☺️🥰
@@caseyevans5960 Me too!
very cute video. as an INTJ, i would say for me the best case for each is: gift=useful, words=don't compliment me but instead the thing i worked on, acts=i'm generally a loner and independent so i can't think of anything specific, physical touch=sitting closely, quality time=something peaceful or restorative whether we stay in or go out
INTJ, I agree with *all* of that. - “something peaceful and restorative” Yes… One of the worst birthdays I ever had was when my extroverted husband took me to dinner at our favorite --and too expensive- restaurant and he *invited one of his friends to join us at the last minute!* Someone I didn’t even enjoy being around in any situation. 🙄 They chatted the entire time, while I was mostly silent and totally miserable, and thinking about the huge tab for an evening I didn’t enjoy.
If this doesn't describe me then I don't know what does. Totally accurate. INTJ female here.
As an INTJ, this completely describes me.
As an INJT, I agree!
I feel like I have to set things right : I'm an ENFP and my love language is physical touch. Because then my intuition about the other person's thouughts and feelings and emotions becomes pure empathy, they don't just show me their love, they allow me to feel it for real
As an ISFP I would agree that I don't like people just doing stuff for me. Mainly because I like things done my way and I don't really like people touching my stuff.
So refreshing to see a fellow ISFP response...
BTW, same! 🤣🥴
Couldn't agree more as an ISFP
INTJ here, I might be a little odd, but my primary love language is Physical Touch. Always has been, I think it might have to do with the inferior function Extraverted Sensing. I only like it if I trust the person (which is rare), otherwise I will hands down reject all physical affection.
I agree with what several INFJs have said, there is a difference between what love languages you like to give, and what ones you like to receive. I love to give Physical Touch, but some people don’t like that, so I usually give through Gift Giving. I don’t like receiving gifts as much unless it’s food or something useful, and it is defiantly awkward, but give me some wholemade salsa or banana bread, and you will have won my respect.
I love Gift Giving, it’s like a puzzle that I was built to solve. I analyze and look for something that is either meaningful or useful to them, then package it fancy and gift it. I have a whole tub of gift bags, bows, and tissue paper so I can efficiently package gifts to look special and fancy. I always include a card with something special or unique to that person. I have several cards where someone gave me Words Of Affirmation, and they make me smile every time I read them. I try to recreate that special moment with every card I write.
Physical touch also helps because it’s actual evidence of love. None of this mumbo jumbo nonsense about reading signs
Awww what a sweet person you are intjs are so nice
As a ENFP I disagree with you on physical touch. It's true that I don't like to be touched but if I hug someone I really love I feel so save and connected to that person. I think physical touch might even be my love language.
Mine is def words of affirmation ,then quality time, then physical touch. I love affection but it doesn't rank nearly as high as words of affirmation. like I need that shit to feel secure and not worry that everyone secretly hates me lol. but again I love myself a little cuddle/kiss/hug/snuggle, but a long letter or effusive text with the reasons you love me? YES PLEASE. NUMERO UNO. haha - Fellow ENFP (T)
Yes me either
As an ENFJ I love doing things, especially for her and often like a surprise, that always brings that genuine sweet smile on her face. It feels like a beautiful flower, which blooms even on extreme winters, which I could never let fade. It is much more than a gift, an act of service or any word of affirmation. It is everything to me. I love my INFP.
Same, but she has yet to reciprocate to the same intensity.
This was really interesting. As a fellow INFJ and future counseling professional I love to hear your takes!
I have personally always struggled to clearly identify my favorite love language, however I think it would be quality time. Like you said, I appreciate all of them. And I feel as an INFJ I easily accept when my partner does any of these things for me because I can be rather people-pleasing and I want him to know he does a good job...if that makes sense.
Most interestingly, my partner is an ISTJ and his love language is easily words of affirmation. I always feel like I am doing practically nothing for him but he is completely satisfied with me telling him how proud I am of him or how much I appreciate him.
We are such different people but I appreciate how he makes the effort to understand my need for quality time even if he doesn't really get why I need it.
I'm a bit late to the party (and with a couple of drinks), but I really appreciate what you're communicating here.
I'm an INTJ and I greatly appreciate you throwing out what I've been feeling every Christmas, birthday, Easter basket, anniversary, Valentine's Day, and whatever other gift exchange holiday.
I HATE getting a gift I figure the other person thinks I'll appreciate, but I don't like because it's literally of no consequence to my life in any way, shape, or form and I feel obligated to pretend I enjoy it to protect their feelings over mine due to the fact I want to show I care about what they want to do, but a beer or a head nod would have done the exact same thing.
It puts me in a box, and it drives me nuts. The fact I can take a segment of this video and show it to my wife to explain how I feel without sidetracking myself and going off on a tangent that takes a week to resolve makes me appreciate the time it takes to create this content (and it's a decent business if it creates gains), and let's me know I have to work a little more on how to communicate effectively in a way that doesn't p*ss everyone off.
As an INTP I absolutely agree with 5:06 lol, so words of affirmation are definitely not a good way to make me feel impressed. It's super awkward to hear this in person. Besides that, I don't like to be given gifts not because I don't like them but because people always get it wrong and never give me what I want. About acts of service I do agree that I would prefer that because you can really tell if someone actually means it when they say they care about you just cause I would CERTAINLY NOT do it if I didn't care about them.
INTP: QT time is my love language, which may seem to go against the grain since I spend most of my time in my head, BUT I do like someone around….not talking, but close :))
Yes
If possible an intuitive type
ENFJ here, I tend to express my love to others through acts of service. In terms of which love language I would best like to receive, it would be words of affirmation (even though it's something I won't readily own up to it to those around me).
As an ENTP, who's main love language is physical touch, I think it's appeal is that it tethers me to reality in the best way possible. Like a balloon on a string. I can hypothesise as much as I want, but a good old hug always assures me, that after floating around, I have a place to come home to.
Like, If I work really hard with my brain, to relax and unwind, nothing is better then getting back in touch with my body. Go for a run, sweat in the sauna, get a back rub in front of the TV. Brain is tired. Brain is off.
Other aspects are, understanding how ficle a things language is, I just want the other to know I love them without any doubts.
And sometimes, it's really nice if everyone just shuts up.
I am also an ENTP who would pick Physical Touch as their main love language (followed by quality time). You took the worlds right out of my mouth!
@@RockyRaccoonsFriend Yeah, I think people sometimes forget that ENTPs are ambiverted. We need a lot of alone time. So in very close relationships, we tend to appreciate a partner who let's us have our bouts of introversion. And physical touch is a great way of then still being able to show and receive love, when we're just not up for talking.
I always thought physical touch could be my love language for the same exact reasons you mentioned especially the "a place to come home to..." Part (I think that's what I'm looking in a partner) but I'm always confused. Because if somebody was to "good ol'hug me..." I would be like..."yo....wtf dude....What happened to fist bumps....they already out of trend or something...." Basically I won't like it.
@@JstJaybeingJay Hm, interesting. You could try to study body language, so you'd feel more secure when the occasion arrives. Is it like this with everyone? So, close friends/family and romantic partners as well? I mean, it could always be a cultural expectations vs. personal needs problem.
Same here bro as ENTP i like physical touch and quality time so fuck Frank James in this video i guess
ISTP: according to one of those tests I have both physical touch and quality time on the top with only a single point difference. I don’t remember which one was first but it could have been either one.
Regarding physical touch: I‘m anything but a touchy-feely person so I don’t like to be touched by any random person at all. To really appreciate and enjoy it I would have to trust and like that person very much. But then yes it would be something special for me. I guess my body is a very personal space of mine - not as much as my mind, but still.
Regarding quality time: I enjoy both kinds, the shared activity one as well as the hanging out together one. And here I don’t have quite as high standards in regards to how close I am to the person I‘m spending my time with.
I’m also an ISTP and those are my top two.
I'm istp and that's also my love language 😂
I’m an INFP and I:
1. Don’t really like gifts, if you get the wrong gift I’ll be definitely be super awkward and then regret it.
2. Don’t like words of affirmation, it makes me uncomfortable and I don’t know how to respond, I prefer the other person just telling me they love me instead of telling me things like “you look great today” or “you are so pretty” and stuff.
3. Likes more or less acts of service, I mean, I will definitely appreciate it, but I won’t adore it.
4. Adores physical contact, as long as it stays in hugs, cuddling... etc. I don’t like kisses.
5. Enjoys quality time with the other person, as long as we don’t go to parties and stuff
What I most like: *deep talk, like expressing our opinions in some topic and making a spiritual connection with the other person*
I am an INFP too, and same
As an ENTJ, my love language is quality time, because I would never spend it to someone I do not really care for and also know it can be really hard to stay by me so I appreciate it even more when someone makes time for me :)
I searched this ENTJ's comment to feel understand with someone and this is totally accurate 🥺
ENTJ AND QUALITY TIME TOOOOOOO
Agree
😇 so accurate! I'm ENTJ too.
Agreed+physical touch
I’m an INFP and my love languages are primarily words of affirmation and quality time. Acts of service sometimes is nice as well but it depends on the act
I'm an intj and I show my love by giving gifts. I love giving gifts and observing what people need. But yeah, I agree that I receive love by people doing acts of service for me. Actions speak louder than words for me
I'm an ENTP and my love language is acts of service. Funnily enough, I actually scored 0 on words of affirmation. Maybe it's because for me personally it's so easy to say one thing and mean another (like arguing for a point you don't agree with) that words just mean... nothing? It's so easy to say that stuff without being genuine that I just don't get flattered by like any compliments or words of affection.
Also entp. Words don’t mean anything unless congruent action is observed. My love language somehow came out physical touch? Which I am not that into I thought… 🤷🏻♀️
If i receive gifts i dont need or want Im immediately suspicious of the intent. Same with words of affirmation but i think that's got something to do with being in a culturally asian environment; we dont get it often so when it's coming at a right time from the right person it can hit me right in the feels. otherwise I dont trust it at all
I’m also an ENTP and I would say my love language is physical touch. But I prefer acts of service as a love language towards me.
Same!! Another example for me is when I have a 'fight' with a friend, a lot of times I don't really feel anything when they say sorry or it just feels out of place for me because to me talking about things, clearing things up and understanding the other person is what'll solve it for me so when my friend says sorry after we had a whole conversation about it, it just feels kinda unnecessary. I don't need them to say sorry, I just want to see that they understood what I said because sorry just kinda feels like an easily spoken word. Idk though, this specific thing might just be a personal thing or dependent on a lot of other factors ㄟ( ▔∀▔ )ㄏ I wonder if any other entp has the same feelings about that
I'm an ENTJ with Gifts as my primary love language...but I'm very vocal about what I like and expect from gift-givers. I think it's fair to express your expectations with any of the love languages, but particularly Gifts, because not everyone is intuitive or observant. I was disappointed enough (and couldn't really hide it) to start communicating what I prefer to receive. It's helped the people close to me a lot!
FJ: the fj types are the most likely to prefer gifts.
Me, an INFJ who got 0% preference for gifts on that love language test: 👁👄👁
It varies from person to person...probably that's why. I am an ISFJ and I clearly prefer gifts as long as they are useful, I must admit, but I have almost 0% preference to quality time as I prefer to have this time alone and it suffocates me when people I might even love want to take that time. So... I guess types are not enough to judge that. We still are individuals after all.
As an INFJ I would prefer Words Of Affirmation and Quality Time
@@CineShinya
Of course 😌
Thank you for your time and the comment! 😊
As an infj acts of service and quality time are my love languages
Well... I would say the preferred love language might be more connected to the inferior function rather than the top 2... or it isn't related with type at all.
I'm an INTP, yes, words af affirmation can be awkward for me, but I like it anyway. And i would say that's the thing with love language - it's not what you are the most familiar with, but the thing which for some reason feels really nice.
I'm an INTP and I also like words of affirmation, especially from people that I know for sure wouldn't lie to me. So what they say is true.
ENFP and my preferred is definitely gifts. Having someone pick out something you'd like and make a whole theme like a pamper day with all the different bits! Do agree there's nothing worse than getting a gift with no thought as to whether you'd like it or not
I am an INFP and giving gifts is one of my top love languages. I think a lot of this has to do with being artistic and introverted as kid. I spent a lot of time drawing pictures to show people I liked them because I wasn't the most outgoing kid in the world. There's something very satisfying about creating something unique and personal for someone, or giving them something that's particularly "them," even if I didn't make it. I think there's a lot of misunderstanding about what this love language really is. For example, I dislike holidays or events that mandate giving gifts, like Christmas or weddings, because it feels terrible to be forced to show affection to someone you don't particularly like. No one is entitled to my affection. So I'm not a great gift giver unless I really care about you. I also don't like to receive gifts from people who clearly don't know what kind of person I am. The gift love language is really about paying attention to people and demonstrating that you see who they are by giving them something meaningful.
People who like to cook for others may fall into this category, too. My mom would make pies when I was upset that made me feel a lot better. I like "treats."
I love giving but not receiving 😂
As an ENTJ, I'd have to say quality time is very important, but I'll never say no to a present. Words of affirmation are nice and all, but I don't need the confidence boost; I love myself too much lol. Actions for me are the worst if done as a surprise as I am a complete control freak. This was a very interesting video, and I look forward to reading others' thoughts.
As an INFJ in a relationship, it always brightens my day when my lady friend offers some random sweet words now and then.
Stay well out there everybody, and God bless you friends. :)
ENTP here! i have always got confused on what my love language actually is but now that i think about it, i enjoy those smol things people do to me (cutting fruit, give me food) AND VICE VERSA! i am the happiest when i could give to people. i enjoy physical touch as well, probably too much but ONLYYYY to the person i love dear the most.
ENFP, super physically affectionate. Physical touch has long been my top love language (in a dead heat with words of affirmation). I don’t care that much about QT and acts of service.
Same here! ENFP & Physical touch is a non-negotiable for me. It’s not about sex, but just being physically close together and touching. My top 2 are QT and physical touch. Can ignore the rest.
Same!!!
I am with you . Physical touch is number one by far, then acts of service, then quality time, then blah,blah,blah. INTJ
I’m also an ENFP and like physical touch! But I also do like quality time
I'm an INFJ and I looovveee physical touch haahaa
My mom is an ESTJ and her love language is acts of service, but I'm an extremely independent and curious INFJ and even from a young age didn't like my mom doing stuff for me, I prefer doing things myself, otherwise I feel lazy or unable. My brother is an ISTJ and loves when my mom does stuff for him.
My mom is likely an ESTJ, too. But I'm an INTJ-T who wants to wear actual big-boy pants for once, now that I'm hitting my 20s.
My mother is ENFJ and I'm ISTJ. When I was a kid, I always tried to do house chores like doing the laundry because using washer machine seemed interesting to me. I learned how to use a washer machine when I was 8 and after that, my mother always asked me to do the laundry. 😂
Now, I manage my own stuffs because if my mother did it, she's probably gonna put them in the unusual place. Besides, I don't want to burden her. She cooks, she does the laundry, she has exam papers to check. I'll feel guilty if I don't help her.
I personally feel like love languages are more about how you express your love rather than how you want to receive love. I honestly wouldn’t mind receiving love from someone in whatever way is most comfortable for them to express it.
I’m an INFP and my number one love language is physical touch. I like feeling close to people and sometimes I’m too scared to express how I feel in words. Also I don’t really know how to accept compliments so sometimes I feel really awkward. I think compliments are on a scale for me. If you compliment me too much I feel really awkward and don’t know how to respond. But please give me compliments from time to time because I need validation and confirmation that your feelings haven’t changed. Touch is something I know how to respond to and it’s a constant reminder that my person is there :)
Intj here, I don't like gifts...I feel like I'm now obligated to give them back some day....id prefer quality time and maybe after sometime physical touch
I'm a ISFJ and prefer quality time for me, more than gifts or words of affirmation. I know, is too much for the people say those words, it's awkward.😅
I prefer express affection for others with acts of service.
1. Quality Time
2. Physical Touch
3.Gifts
4. Words of affirmation
5. Acts of service
infp woman here:
physical touch: i LOVE it. if you give me cuddles, hugs, cheek or forehead kisses, or hold my hand i’ll gladly give my life for you.
quality time: absolutely. i need to spend my one-on-one time with my friends because it’s just so nice to be alone together, yknow?
words of affirmation: i’ll literally cry. when people tell me how well i’m doing it makes my heart swell, because i feel deprived of it so if you affirm me you deserve lots of hugs
ENFP LIST
1. quality time ( doing something fun with people you like )
2. Acts of service
3. words of affirmation (i appreciate it but i feel awkard too idk why but sometimes i “reveive” it more )
4.gifts
5. physical touch (i don’t really like physical touch with friends but with my family , people that i’m really close with and love , i love hugs for exemple )
Really surprised to hear ENFP as one of the ones least like to prefer physical touch, since every ENFP I’ve ever known is a major hugger.
As an ENFP I can affirm! I love hugs
I'm an INFP. My love language is Gifts. I grew up receiving gifts from relatives and teachers and remember how appreciate and loved I feel. (And smart, cuz Academic Awards lol) Maybe I want the others to know that I appreciate, love and pay attention to them cuz that's my experience with gifts and I know what to give for them so that's out of questions. I associate gifts with caring really. I remember my grandfather gave me a calculator when I was a child and I love that calculator cuz my grandfather gave it to me.
It's not that hard to guess what they want but not need, like my teen cousin love BTS, just gave her BTS keychain and that trendy bucket hat.
Pay my friends food cuz I feel good that day and has some extra money.
Just give them what they want, not need. Like they want it, but don't want to waste their money on it like, a custom made keychain of their pet for example (never done it before but it just an example). Unless you really close to them and knows why they need, that's a bonus.
Everytime I give someone a gift, I was like "now they know that I care about them" not knowing that not everyone has the Gift has love language. I didn't know about love languages until 3 months ago. I do hope they don't feel weird out tho,now that I think about it. Or maybe I just overthinking huhuh haha. Lol
Most thoughtful gift ever received: when working down at a research station in Antarctica, we couldn't just make a trip to Target when it came time to find Secret Santa gifts. That meant people had to get creative. The person who got me drew/painted a picture of a penguin barbershop quartet wearing "Big Red" vests, standing in front of Ob Hill (a hill right at the edge of the station). I absolutely loved it, and it's small enough that I've been able to bring it with me since and use it as a little something to decorate wherever I happen to be living!
Also, rocks, strings, seeds, and any number of other items from the students I work with (6 years and under). It's not thoughtful in the sense of being personalized with your likes and dislikes in mind. However, a seemingly random and worthless item a child that age finds can mean the world to them, so if they decide to give it to you, it's quite a compliment!
Do you respond well to words of affirmation: if it's something I agree with, yes. If I don't think it's true (not that the speaker is untrustworthy, just because my mind tells me it can't be), my hesitancy to accept the compliment can come through fairly easily though.
Do you prefer Words of Affirmation or Acts of Service: Words of Affirmation, without a doubt.
Are you a touchy-feely kind if person: not in the slightest.
What do you consider to be quality time: time spent together that allows for a conversation that goes beyond surface level, and/or a shared memory to be created that is meaningful to all parties involved. The type of thing you can look at 5, 10, or more years down the road and say, "Hey, I'm glad we got to have that experience together."
Wow you're spot on with ENTJ. Screw emotions I need acts of service!
I once told my ESFP mom we should spend more quality time together since I'm on holidays... She took me to the mall to go clothes shopping and forgot about me ;-;
real esfp there
As an infj and neurodivergent i like giving gifts. I gift sth i see in store and it reminds me of them (fave color or snack or sth they need) and sumtimes i'll hunt a video game they like or a key chain that symbolizes our thing or sth, maybe give a gift card to receive massage from me, make paintings, give love notes to compensate what i lack in spoken communication to tell how i feel and think.. but yea i like gifting buncha stuff. I like to shower other with my love. I am quite touchy and if other doesn't touch me and doesn't seem to enjoy and appreciate my cuddles and closeness, i feel so hurt and unsure etc. I think touch is how i receive mostly. I also enjoy spending time together, doing sth together or separately in the same space and have deep talks and i kinda need texting or seeing physically semi often to reassure me and maintain connection/bond. Mental connection, humour and wittyness etc is a turn on and a must in relationship. And ofc it's nice to sumtimes receive stuff and see other making sum effort but i don't require it as much. And i don't necessarily have that much energy to do stuff for other and prefer making equal effort on that part. Also when younger had sum in*p exes that lacked in doing stuff and i sucked asserting etc and felt kinda used/taken for granted/exhausted/alone with chores so.. but they did play me videogames tho and let me create their characters, that was nice xD
I was startled when the ad popped exactly when you said
INFP - physical touch is my #1 love language
as an enfp I greatly value physical touch because it grounds me and brings me back to the "real world." cuddling with someone I care about for hours on end is one of the best feelings in the world!
INTJ here. My highest LLs are quality time and physical touch. I do appreciate acts of service too for sure. Quality time is important because don't waste my time, EVER. That is a huge no-no so for me, how we spend our time is crucial. When I spend time with you, that is an absolute manifestation of love. And I expect it from my loved ones. That's how I show them love and how I expect to receive it. I also need physical affection with my loved ones. I'm a hugger for sure. Acts of service is down a bit on the list because let's be honest, as an INTJ, I'm going to critique those acts. I want things done a certain way and it's just better if I do it myself. ;-)
What I find funny is the fact that I am an ENFP and I would say physical touch is in my top 2. However I am guessing most people are thinking romantically with this question and not just day to day friendship and family affection. As an ENFP the biggest thing in a romantic relationship to me would be having that close spiritual connection with someone before getting into the physical relationship.
ENTJ speaking. I am so about acts of service as a love language specifically because I schedule everything in my life including my free time and time is so valuable that the best gift someone could give me is some of my time back in the form of taking some responsibility of my plate.
For the most part, I really do not enjoy being touched. However, I love hugging my kids, and my husband, because I love them more than anyone else. So, while Physical Touch is not my top love language, I do consider it to be an important part of the way I express/receive love.
Only for husband or kids. Everyone else, please stay away.
I agree with you both. INTJ here: don’t touch me unless I’m either sleeping with you, or I’ve given birth to you. 😉
@@altitudeiseverything3163 I'm an INTP and exactly the same for me. I remember that when I was a teen my (female) classmates started giving a lot of hugs for some reason. I hated it! It was super super awkard and I didn't know what to do xD
@@arianam9977At least COVID has given us a reason to reject those awkward hugs. A raised hand, accompanied by “I’m not quite ready for that, but it’s so good to see you.”
. . . I will *never* be ready for that! 😂
i loved the fireplace in the background
As an FP type, yes, PLEASE make sure you know what I like for gifts! I'd rather you not get me anything than get me something I don't enjoy tbh lol
But when I do get a gift that I like, I really appreciate it 🙂
And yes, acts of service are nice, but I'd rather be doing something for them than them doing something for me 😂
As an XXFP, physical touch varies for me. If you have an FP friend, I'd suggest asking them if that's something they're comfortable with 🙂
I love quality time! I tend to have a hard time asking others to hang out, but I wish I didn't because I love being with people I'm close with. I'm often worried that the other person doesn't want to spend time with me, so I'd suggest making it abundantly clear to your FP friend whether or not you would want to hang out with them. If you don't, that'll probably hurt but at least they'll know already.
[INTJ] My preferred love languages are acts of services and words of affirmation (though this last one may give me imposter syndrome on occasions...). Quality time is good and all but I don't need a lot of it. Same for physical touch. Meanwhile, gifts... make me uncomfortable, but I like useful gifts like a pen with a nice ink or a mug with an appealing or/and thoughtful design.
"Its hard to know your love language when you've never been loved" -INTP
Ha yeah….
I'm an INFP and I'm a HUGE fan of physical touch. I love to give hugs and snuggle w/ someone. I'm kinda clingy with those I love lol. I'm pretty open with my affection. Oddly enough, I'm SUPER awkward when it comes to verbal expressions of love. Like my sibling's love language is words of affirmation as they'll tell me they love me randomly and I basically malfunction. Lately, I've started just going on autopilot and immediately responding with an 'i love u too' and then cringe at myself lol
im an infj and i love to get words of affirmation- compliment/reassure me and ill fall in love with you. but im the type of person to show their love through acts of services :)
I’m a thinking type and I actually need words of affirmation because that’s my only source of reliable information on where I stand in the other’s view of the world. I cannot read this and I gave up attempting to overthink and deduce, because feelings are completely illogical and hard to guess for me. So if someone speaks their feelings out loud, it is a huge help.
I'm ISTP.
1. Physical touch.
2. Words of affirmation.
3. Quality time.
4. Acts of service
5. Gifts.
I think the biggest error at thinking words of affirmation as one of the least preferred for ISTP was not taking into account the introverted part. It's exactly why some of us value it the most, people who can see positive aspects of us even with the fact that we don't communicate a lot and they say it to us as a compliment, dude/girl you've won a place into my heart.
"I'm so easy. Just clean the kitchen, tell me I'm pretty, and I'm yours forever," I told my husband when we started dating. Fourteen years later, my house is clean, my love tank full, and we're still madly in love. I'm the kite, and he's the string 💕
INFP (clearly me) with an ENTJ
ISFJ here, i am
1) Quality time
2) Words of affirmation
3) GIfts (material girlll)
4) Physical touch (i got 3 percent ahhah)
What did we learn? We learned that frank is desperate for love... and better TH-cam analytics
How is he desperate for love?
@@cdcs_edits I mean he makes videos on how some types do as girlfriends.
I haven't seen the video yet but am an INFP with enneagram type 4w5. My love language is words of affirmation, just them telling me they love me and care for me would be enough. But sometimes I require quality time with a side of physical touch. Like, just lying down on a sofa, cuddling. Then I also like getting literally any kind of gift, like even if you go for a walk out of the house, just pick me a flower and I'll cherish it and you forever! Acts of service alone is never enough for me, just ignoring me all day but making sure my clothes are folded, yeah, no thank you, I'll have literally any other love language or acts of service with another love language to support it.
Edit - He got it right about acts of service omg!!!
Thanks for uploading it, the video was really interesting and as an intp I totally related to acts of service (in fact, I voted for it) sometimes the words others say seem so cliche or cheesy (even when I know they're trying their best to make me feel loved) that it's difficult for me to hear them and to give those words back, but maybe preparing a good meal, giving my jacket or helping them with something they have problems solving is easier and its only then when I feel that I'm expressing my affection truly. Maybe the deal is that I want to be useful for those I love and want them to know they can depend on me.
It's really accurate, I'm ISFP and when I've read about 5 love languages, I identified the most with "words of affirmation". On the other hand some time ago one guy said to me that he don't like that I like to do everything by myself, so it's true, "acts of service" is probably my the least preffered love language.
For me, receiving gifts kinda makes me feel that I need to turn that back as soon as possible. I struggle with expressing my feelings Idk how I will be when receiving words of affirmation. I definitely hate being touched by people and I hate when they're bugging around saying nonsense so im not sure about physical touch and quality time. I also usually tend to be somewhat independent n do things by my own so acts of service don't really matter for me I would guess..
Im not assertive of anything cuz Ive been single since I was born.
INTP here. My love language is and has always been physical touch. Holy moly, did I suck at writing love letters when I was younger 😶
You got my top 2 right. Words and touch - infj
As an intj, I remembered I asked all my friends to go to store with me before the birthday party and let me pick my own birthday gift and then they can pay for it. I did that when I was 12. There is a reason why I don’t have too many friends I guess
I do appreciate quality time because as an INTJ, it means that the other person is willing to actually put up with me.
Words of affirmation all day, baby. -INFJ
I am a INFJ my self and I am doing a sensus on INFJ. Do you have ADHD (ADD) or neurodiverse? Yes, No or Don't know.
im an infj, i have adhd, and i probably think touch or words or affirmation are my love language
3:24 I like when TH-cam doesn’t show an ad and I am just briefly staring at Frank before he thanks me for sitting through it. It’s awkwardly funny.
yeah ahahahah
Haha me too 😄
lol same hahahaha
I honestly expected one to pop up a few seconds after he did that.
He paused and the ad that came up- he was the spokesperson 😂😂 kinda funky yt
Frank: Says that ENFPs (Me) and ENTPs (Dad) hate Physical Touch.
Also Frank: ISTPs love physical touch (Brother).
Me: 'That can't be true because I love hugs and so does my dad, but if you touch my brother he'll go into the woods for hours to recover from that assault.'
Every ENFP and INFP (myself included) I've met loves hugs. We're all so touchy-feely I thought it was universal, so it's funny this is a stereotype
I also know an ISTP who values physical touch. But may not from strangers. Whereas I would wear a free hugs shirt
ENFP here, I have to hold myself back from hugging🤗
@@dreamingblue3939 exactly
Yess I was so confused cause the stereotype of ENFP is hugs 😂😂😂 and as an ENFP w physical touch as my main receiving love language, this stereotype is true
The 5 Love Languages (as applied to 🌮 ):
Words of Affirmation: your tacos are delicious.
Acts of Service: I made you tacos. Receiving Gifts: Here's a taco.
Quality Time: Let's go out for tacos together.
Physical Touch: Let me hold you like a taco.
🌮
My gosh, that's genius.
Let's call them "The 5 Taco Languages".
@@greatwavefan397 I thought it was clever but I didn’t make it up!😁
That was really helpful!! Thank you!
PLS I read the last one as ‘let me hold your taco’ 💀💀
Words of affirmation:
"You look delicious,
Oh, I mean gorgeous"
As an INTP, I can confirm I absolutely hate words of affirmation and I especially hate responding. Like "cool, that's how you feel." Personally, I prefer physical touch because it's a tangible thing that shows appreciation and it's not something I feel forced to respond to, I can just appreciate and enjoy it.
bro same. i have an infp friend who i feel like is too affectionate. she chats me like she's my girlfriend or something. and it's really getting annoying and cringy for me. maybe it's cuz i didnt grow up with that kind of thing but i really just prefer the subtle ones, like quality time or something - intp
I am the opposite. I know I am an ISTP but I HATE physical touch. I prefer acts of service or quality time.
Fellow INTP here. I feel the exact same way as you. Words of affirmation just makes me feel so awkward. I usually just give a thumbs up and say thanks. Physical touch for me is the most direct way to show your appreciation and affection. 👍🏽
Well most intps hate being hugged ect so idk about that
Anime fanatic, I totally get what you're saying. I absolutely hate being hugged or people even trying to give me a high five. But if it's someone I care about communicating to me that they are there for me and love me, then it becomes something that feels safe and meaningful as opposed to vulnerable, invasive, and awkward. So essentially, Im really relying on the "love" part of the phrase "love language", because it applies to people I feel safe around. Hope that clears up a bit of what I meant :)
Funny, I'm an INFP and some time ago I took some test on this and I got "acts of service" as my prefered love language. Idk, am I weird? Also, I'm married with an ESTP since 11 years ago and he got "quality time" as his favorite language. 😂
Maybe I got "acts of service" because I really like when he notices I'm struggling with something stupid like trying to open a bottle and he comes to my rescue, or when he does things for me that I don't want to do, like speak with customer service on the phone or things like that. But if I have to guess what are our second love languages, I'd say words of affirmation are important to me, and physical touch is important for him.
Yeah I don't know that his analysis was very accurate. Another INTP friend and I both got words of affirmation as one of our highest, and acts of service as one of our lowest. My two ISTP friends DESPISE hugs and my ISTJ dad has physical touch as his highest by far. Another ENFP I know hugs literally everyone he sees. In fact it'd be pretty accurate if he just said the exact opposite of what he said. xD
My mom is also an INFP and her second love language is acts of service.
Same here! I think it's because as INFP's we value sincerity and authenticity very highly, so we might be suspicious of other people simply saying how much we mean to them. (who hasn't heard that before) However, if they show it by actually acting in ways that reflect those affirmations we are much more likely to be positively affected imo.
@@dylangeorge5985 I think Frank's analysis isn't bad since he's just talking about probability. But it could have been better if he took in account the fact that most people actually have 2 dominant love languages, not just 1.
@@victorian_chandelier Yeah it's difficult to tell if there's any real-world correlation though even if it makes sense in theory. On the other hand, the correlation may run opposite to the "theory" because maybe personalities like being loved in ways that run counter to how they interact with the world. For example, a non-sensory person might appreciate a sensation like physical touch more than other love languages because that sort of thing is less common to them, and thus makes the display of love more special and unique.
INTJ here. Receiving gifts is always stressful for me. Most of the stuff is absolutely useless. People usually don’t understand what I like and what I need. So I prefer to buy things by myself! But if someone buys a really thoughtful gift for me, I’ll love them forever!
Same! Extra stuff I dont want or need also stresses me tf out. And I feel somewhat guilty because I don't like 99% of stuff.
Same. Also I hate clutter!! I don’t need more things and know what i like/use. Exhibit A: clothing that i didnt say i wanted and scented lotions.
I'm dating an jntj who is like this and it makes Christmas and birthdays super stressful lok
@@ChristinaT2208 😂 Most INTJs will appreciate if you ask them what to buy for them, because we are not so much into surprises. But could be that they say: “Don’t buy me anything!” And they mean it. Then I would recommend to go out together, do something special and you pay for it.
Yes Just get me a gift card.
"Something mundane... like hitting the like button" got me, I'm not gonna lie. I actually stopped what I was doing (the vid has been playing in the background while I clean the house) to press the button. Well played, FJ. 👏🏼
Same! Have a good Sunday cleaning (in this world zone is Sunday 😁)
@@MsAnthropoLogic Thanks, friend! ☺️ It's Sunday where I am, too. Hope your cleaning goes well!
wtf how he tricked everyone with this? I actually did the same!
@@comradeyoshinski1963 hahaha I don’t know but now we all have clean and shiny houses 🥰
As a ENFP, I like Physical Touch more than Frank realizes. ENFPs are like Golden Retrievers , we could handle getting pet from all angles. We will wag our tail all day if you gonna pet us.
Agreed.
absolutely
Also an ENFP and physical touch is by far my #1. I would think ISTJs would be the least likely to be a physical touch personally!
Yes!!! I’m an enfp, and you explained this perfectly. Physical touch is by far my number one love language
Same bro I need my cuddles and hugs it helps my with my anxiety and sadness also I’m showing the other person how much I care about them by being comfortable with touch
I'm an INFJ and I love intelligence. If you can have worldly, scientific and psychological conversations, you have my full undivided attention.
Same here. An INTJ
Yee agree Intj
Same for me i am an intp
infp here and yess i absolutely agree
Same haha. INFJ
Being rejected by humans is ok but being rejected by Animals ,,,, is just not OK 😢 👀
Sensing an INFP, I guess?
@@TWEEKR Nope iam an INFJ-T 👍
Agreed :( -INFP
I'm an intj and dogs bark at me... like dk Why??
@@maple5994 Ikr. Kids and animals just don't like me 😢 ~ INTP
my mom is an intj and she used to buy her own gifts and give them to my dad to give to her on special occasions because whenever he picked something out for her she was very bluntly disappointed X) "it's the thought that counts" did not apply
Sounds like my mom...but my mom is an ENFJ 🤣🤣 pretty out of character🤣
Can totally relate.
- INTJ
Couldve just told what to buy, instead of going herself lmao
@@singuliarumas370 No, no, no…. That could result in not getting the precise thing we want. Guaranteed that we have researched it to death before making a final choice! I always buy my own gift for birthday/holiday weeks in advance and then announce to my husband, “BTW, you bought me XXXX for my birthday. Thank you, I love it!” 😉 [I hate getting useless gifts that only take up space.]
Okay, same. My mom is intj and she does that 😅😅😅
Yes, we INFPs are uncomfortable when people do stuff for us; but that doesn’t mean we don’t REALLY APPRECIATE IT :’)
As a fellow INFP, YES
Can say, same applies to INFJ
Same lol
I like it when I don't need to ask it
When I ask it, it loses all it's value...
This is an Awesome distinction!!! and VERY True!!!
INFP who's love language is Quality Time.
If ya like sitting in the same room both doing our own thing in complete silence that doesn't feel awkward... I'm you're type of friend 😅😂
THIS.
I've dated people who can't stand me playing video games or reading a book while they squirm around and can't figure out what to do with themselves.
@@docmars okayy, my bf plays games all night & I usually watch youtube/netflix on the couch. It doesn't feel awkward to us and besides the occasional 'hey babe, you want a drink/snack?' we just enjoy sweet, sweet silence 😂😄
This is the type of friend I need. -INFJ
I can absolutely relate to that!
Yes, as an INTP I love sitting in silence, there’s just no need to talk when my brain’s keeping me perfectly entertained and I can think about things