You know how smart you are; you scare me! So on target with niche topic, celebrity storyline; personal reflection, and guest tie in with another of my favorite YT personalities! You are hitting all cylinders with this one! The Amazing Mary Spender!!!
THIS! My ex broke up with me 18 months ago. Since then I wrote an entire album which I believe it's the best work I've done so far. It still need a lot of tweaking but the overall ideas are make me finaly feel proud of myself. I always used to say the best songs are the ones written when the artists are sad, especially when heartbroken.
This was great! I really enjoyed the style, the little stories, the minimalist piano music in the background, cutting the video back to the piano occasionally. More like this please.
What a wonderful topic and brilliant execution. There’s probably a lot more that could be said on this and many many more examples. Perhaps someday you can do a part two. Thank you.
Got the Legal Eagle in!! Heartbreak is so universal, it's why I think songs like this resonate. I like it when they're more ubiquitous, and speak to feelings in your life :)
"I'll never date a musician!" I've heard that so often and even said it myself occasionally. And now I spend my life with a wonderful musician, who is definitely at least of equal talent; and I wouldn't want it any other way. We have even recorded two CDs together as "The BirdHouse". In my wilder days I did dedicate quite a few songs to my ex-partners, but I wrote them as instrumentals. That helps avoiding the above-mentioned issues. ;-)
@@vetlerradio Yep , I have always been a singing drummer , I play the ukulele well enough to teach teenage schoolgirls , and busk ... I am a bad guitarist and bass player , love my piano ( which is after all , a percussion instrument ) I have a couple of fine arts degrees too ... but yeah ... drummers . One thing I will say is most people don't notice a good drummer but they sure as hell know when there is a bad one .
In my approach, despite the hurt I experienced from my ex's "parting", I wrote songs about her strong points and the good times of the relationship rather than the hurt. Also, being somewhat obscure with the lyrics is like a privacy gate to me, the words could be interpreted in so many ways rather than making blatant clues... bad or good relationship, the relationship always started out beautifully, and it is the beautiful parts I keep for inspiration.
Really really like the whole vibe of this video with the piano. And also really love when 2 TH-camrs I watch randomly do a collab 😁 Especially 2 you wouldn't expect to cross paths
One of your BEST videos. Thank you. And thank you for adding me to your guitar stories 18 months ago. That video was brought up at my uncle’s funeral. You’re the best. Thank you.
really a big fan of the piano piece played here in the background...hope you continue to show us your talents on the keys. Additionally the storytelling here was quite good. Loved the introspective cuts interspersed.
Excellent video, Mary. I’m one of those guys who is clueless. You explained the relationship connections of songs that I sung along to years ago and, of course, was totally unaware of their real-life implications. Of course, everybody was aware of the Warren Beatty connection in Carly Simons song, but going back in music history, the songs of Hank Williams were certainly a reflection of his emotional tribulations. But, again, this was a great video on your part. Great insights.
If you think that one is raw, take a look at the Classic Albums footage of him trying to play a song which didnt even end up on Face Value, but did end up on Genesis' Duke album, namely Please Dont Ask. That was decades after and it was still obviously raw. He couldnt finish it. You can see it in his face.
@@aburrows2008 yep some of the live performances of 'I Don't Care Anymore' I've seen, he really builds up the emotion through the song until it explodes into rage in the end, gives me chills.
Very well done Mary. In these days of (anti) social media there is no stopping some laundry being aired. As a singer songwriter/ actor/ actress/ or any celebrity the general media will explode on anything even with the slightest vague implication of scandal rarely being held accountable for the results. My rule of thumb is date someone who is different from your professional self and you'll have so much more to share and grow.
Mary, this was a great subject to cover. As a songwriter myself, I have written about certain people in my life, but I always kept it poetic so that no one would know who that song, line or verse is about. Many of those are actually complimentary. Sometimes a song can be about a subject and within that subject, feature various people who come to mind. Without ever discussing people we've met through our short time here, we wouldn't have many interesting things to talk about.
I totally understand this. A recent bad breakup cured my years-long writer's block, and now I hope to record an EP by the end of the year. Catharsis feels nice sometimes...but like you said, sometimes it's best to sit on those songs before entering the studio.
This was a pretty interesting video. As a teenager, anything I wrote musically was pretty much always about heartache. Now much, much, older, I don't write like I used to. When you're happy, it's so much harder to get that deep emotion out. But, hey, it's better to be happy and not be able to write, then miserable and writing all the time! BTW, I very much enjoy your story telling on the channel! I think I like it equally as much you music! Keep it up!
Which begs question 🤔 ...are artists happier when their going through crap ?!?!..because ...now they got a hit song with that , 🤔.....or is it in the Artist nature .....to stir the pot.....mix up the paint. So to speak...🤔.😳...Hollwood has sure created some..messed up pallets 😏. for family and lives...I suppose for "Arts sake"..😏....🤔....warped...? Or Art....?.... sic🤔....Or both..😳...or is not all "Art" realy "Art" ....The age old first year Art student question..( my thought..🤔 if it realease s a thought , Joy pain(healthily) or feeling that helps or results in at least a bit of Healing for someone else (and does not continually damaging, individuals or society....or if it inspires one to act , or speak out of or for good of a person or group of people,or if it just makes the person give pause to compasion, if only for a moment ITS Art..)
@@GiraelCS, for me, sadness or depression is something I have to get off my chest, and always found it easier to write when in that state. Same thing applied to me for drawing, etc. Not that I drew sad or depressing pictures, but I always seemed to be able to be better at it when it was dark and rainy and I felt a little more down. When I'm happy, which is quite a lot, I'm more focused on doing other things. Sadness has a way of making me center in on myself and my feelings more. That being said, I can write music when I'm happy, just not lyrics.
@@GiraelCS I think many songwriters write songs primarily as a form of therapy. Like they write songs to get things off their chest in lieu of going to a therapist. When someone like that is in a period of happiness and contentedness they don't feel the need to get anything off their chest.
@@Hahnsoulo That's what I imagined is often the case. I don't have any experience with songwriting or even music writing for that matter, but I remember my favourite times drawing and how serene or even exciting it felt to get ideas from my head onto paper and it wasn't easy to draw anything when I felt down. Also many of my favorite musical pieces are ether exciting, insipiring or straight up "feel good"-vibes, so I doubt they were written in a mood on the opposite part of that spectrum, but I could be wrong. I think to me it speaks more to the way we approach our emotions and feelings, so I will ponder on it further, because it's quite an interesting topic.
Mary, you are so cool! First, the topic is pretty interesting but bringing in the Legal Eagle is also a pretty cool collab like many of your musical collabs. Great historical background that some of us 67 year old guys remember. Thanks
Wow, this is a really good insight into emotion in songwriting. I do remember hearing something about Adele writing at her best after heartbreak or drama, but it's amazing to see how it can also play out in social media too. The legal implications of this is also quite fascinating, I can imagine that even truths about someone could hurt another person if it's not written anonymously. I'd prefer to take your stance of trying to keep it low key for any interpretation. I have played guitar for nearly 20 years, written songs but never written lyrics. However, I recently had a relatively brief but simply perfect time with someone who I'll never see again, and the following heartbreak actually made me write a song about that time. It's not great, but I wrote it in such a short time because I felt my feelings were just fuelling my writing. It was surreal. And I totally get it now especially with context from this video. So thanks I guess ☺️
loved all the references to other musicians and their breakups ! So Patty Boyd is with George then later Eric and even then , George and Eric played so many times together afterwards! Such an interesting subject Mary !!
I remember the story back when Matchbox Twenty had a hit with Push that Rob Thomas' Ex girlfriend had the audacity to try to sue him for a writing credit because he wrote of his poor treatment by her.
I remember that. It made me chuckle a little. Because… how fitting, right? Poor guy and his abusive ex. He never said her by name so there really wasn’t any likeness rights. I don’t believe she got a red cent from that case, but I don’t remember how far that went.
There was also so mild controversy over the song because some people misunderstood the lyrics. They assumed that _he_ was pushing _her_ around and they assumed this was "glorifying" physical abuse / domestic violence. That's fine. Mistakes happen. People misinterpret things. But some of the folks, upon being corrected _by Rob_ doubled down and insisted they knew better than him what his lyrics were about. Truly a fascinating case study into how one can get so involved with a cause that they end up seeing the world with blinders on.
Great little video essay!! Bravo!! 😀 One safe subject, is to get ideas from other people's break ups and then write based on how you would feel in those situations.
Again Mary, you’ve approached a subject from a different angle and in real depth - brilliant! I know you have acting skills and your expression on this video cover image almost led me to believe you were in hot water somewhere, but thankfully appears not. Certainly you need to keep your guard especially in the music business. As you say, Social media adds to the labyrinth of reactions and possibilities especially in opening up cans of worms when you least expect it.
Good thoughts about the morality and personal implications. Another important complication is the commercialization of celebrity relationships. Fans being invested in the RL details and sides of the fight often has significant economic benefits. It isn’t uncommon for publicists and managers to directly exploit this. The Heard-Depp brouhaha was in large part explicitly about the commercial impact of their relationship. It is one thing to use an anonymized relationship to create art. It is quite another when fans are sold on the celebrity value, and even dragged into taking sides.
Great video. I'm a big Legal Eagle fan, so it was a treat to see the two of you collaborating. I guess there's an upside to being an aromantic songwriter. I may miss out on a very fruitful (and often lucrative) topic for lyrics, but I don't have to worry about any of this. lol
Content is great. But I want to take a second and point out how well put together this video is. It really keeps you engaged the entire time. It feels like you're having a conversation directly with the viewer, and the different angles keep this amazing flow going. I really like this.
One of my old band's biggest hits, "Nothing Gold Can Stay," was written about my previous band's vocalist, and some drama between us. We're famous mates now (was even the best man at his wedding), but be damned if it didn't give me a great song from the anger and pain I felt at the time. As to breakups, I've deliberately avoided writing anything about those, as the one time I did... I realized the way I write lyrics coupled with the way that style of song generally goes was not great. And say what you will about your song, Mary--it's an amazing piece, and one of my favorites of yours (granted there's quite a few of those)! I myself would love to date a songwriter. Then I'd never have to worry about writing lyrics (not my strong suit) again! :D
Kind of a imbalance of power when one is a musician with a "bully pulpit" to pronounce their anger at someone and the other person is not. Particularly when the world knows who the song is likely about. As we all probably would agree, there are two sides to any romantic break-up. A huge hit by a well-known artist at the expense of an ex leaves the other person screwed. Funny thing about George Harrison and Eric Clapton - they both remained lifelong friends after Pattie Boyd left the scene. I think I recall George saying in an interview that he wasn't all that upset about it when Pattie moved on to Eric.
I agree. These songs are enjoyable on their own, but in the context of their authors, I usually assume they’re a bit neurotic to write them in the first place 😂 For narcissists, a normal part of breakups is dragging the other person’s name through the mud in a very public way to destroy their reputation as much as possible. A popular singer who publicly shames their ex in their music has an above average likelihood of being narcissistic and lacking self-awareness. And let’s face it, musicians disproportionately include the emotional, brooding, neurotic types of people who want others to adore them on stage and listen to whatever they have to say in their one-sided musical stories ;)
Maybe and maybe not about being upset. George eventually got over it but according to Patty he broke half the stuff in the house when she first told him
At the risk of being taken for a contrarian, let me suggest a completely different approach. Scottish-born songwriter Al Stewart, probably best known for The Year of the Cat, went a very different way. His songs are about historical events, many from long before he was born. I read an interview with him that asked about that and he said love songs (which include breakup songs) had been done to death and he was bored with them so he chose to do songs about major and minor historical events, including WW II, the Napoleonic Wars, and the death of Buddy Holly. I think it can be argued that writing about something OTHER than affairs of the heart adds a huge level of interest to a song. While love and heartbreak are universal experiences and therefore have a certain appeal, such songs can be seen as so routine that they lack interest. At the very least, it might be a fun challenge to write about something OTHER than a romantic entanglement. By the way, I want to make one observation/compliment about Mary's songs that I haven't heard anyone else mention in the comments I've read on this or other videos. The fact is that Mary camouflages her exes so well that I honestly don't know if she is heterosexual, bisexual or lesbian. I commend her artistry in keeping her private life private, as it should be.
You had me at Al Stewart, then his point about love songs. I've been following a band called The Warning, partly because I'm very tired of the classic rock that is pushed at my cohort, partly because they compose and play heavy riff rock that I loved when I was a youngster (which became classic rock), partly because their current progress from kids in the basement to rock stardom is compelling (Mary's video about ambition is very relevant and disturbing) and partly because they write about very unsettling topics (to your point) such as loneliness, murder/suicide, the angel of death, choking/drowning as an allegory for emotional trauma, etc. - not as a celebration of these topics, but trying to express pain in the soul. Are pretty young girls supposed to feel and elucidate such things?
Any subject that a person can feel deeply about can work. And then sing it like you really mean it. "What's Up" and "Zombie" are examples that jump into my head. Going back in time, there's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", "Riders on the Storm", "The Hurricane", "Where do the Children Play", "Harper Valley PTA", "Boy Named Sue" and two of my faves, "Sultans of Swing" and "Money for Nothing". The list is rich and long. The world is chock full of things that we care about - all great potential for song lyrics.
Some of my favorite artists create music based on completely fictional events, using their storytelling and musicianship to draw in the listener. Dream Theater springs to mind with most of their material, especially their concept albums like Scenes From a Memory. Then there’s stuff like Godzilla from Racer X with high-octane, overstimulating, and shred-type playing. The whole progressive genre, rock, metal and otherwise, is all about experimenting with different sounds, instruments, and subject matter that makes for engrossing listening. Soen by Lotus also comes to mind.
At the beginning of movies based on a true story you see the disclaimer: The following events are based on a true story. The names and locations have been changed to protect their identities. It also protects the writers from legal action. As a writer you have artistic license. No one knows what is in your head or what your intent is. People csn assume all they want but unless you specifically use someones name or likeness they will never have a case. Disguise it as a good writer should and you will always be safe from legal action. That being said, anyone can sue anybody for anything. It's up to a judge to decide if it's worthy of a court hearing.
It is impossible to keep one's strongest emotions out of one's artistic efforts, as most of those efforts are made under the influence of those emotions. Just be careful to make suitable adjustments before releasing a song. And, Mary, you look incredibly good in the inserts of yourself during the Legal Eagle section.
I've always loved the humanity that rings thru your videos, not just giving the illusion that I'm standing right next to you, but agreeing with you which erases some of the cold we live thru in this digital world. ps I'd love an ldr with you, that would knowingly come to an end but remain a solid soft friendship, the way a memory of a cat sits in one's heart...
The thing about this, is that we can all name plenty of songwriters who, through a lack of extreme enough emotional turmoil, sought ever more extreme emotional turmoil and experiential anomalies through abuse of themselves, others and the physical environment around them. Sometimes it was expected and demanded of them. This belies a level of dishonesty; a pattern of thinking, which forces further psychologically traumatising events in order to feel productive as a writer. My advice to those who try to outdo their lived experiences by consciously choosing to cause more to happen than nature might have otherwise provided them, is to stop. Sometimes things, life, changes. Sometimes the person you were changes. Sometimes those around you change. Trying to squeeze every last drop out of every given situation is potentially an emotionally unhealthy, psychologically damaging thing to do. Reflection and looking for answers and meaning is not the same thing. Feeling and experiencing emotions and responding appropriately to them, is not the same thing. Just my thoughts on this.
In the classical world, Felix Mendelssohn is often singled out as a composer who produced amazing music, but had an unusually comfortable life and was reasonably well-adjusted. Yes, he died early at the age of 38 (of some medical condition that ran in the family), but he had a pretty decent life before that.
@@DeGuerre Not everyone needs to channel some extreme emotional energy to create music. As a musician myself, I love creating music that *sounds* emotional, but never needed a source of said emotion to channel to it. And in the off-chance I actually utilize my negative emotions in my work, it's mostly for therapeutic purposes and probably wouldn't do if it made me feel worse. This post wouldn't be the first I've heard of abusing oneself's emotions to create more art, though... That sounds very dangerous.
There's a line in a White Stripes song that goes something like "make sure you never do it with a singer, 'cause he'll tell everyone in the world what he was thinking about the girl." I think that goes double for famous singers with highly publicized breakups.
I would hate to have a break up song possibly about my wrong doings. I already am a pretty sensitive male, never mind a song written and sung by a ex wife or a female i may have dated. People can be quite vindictive when feelings are involved. I could not go through life knowing there may be a song out there created because by a ex because their heart was broken. Hell NO.
Mary, I've always hoped your songs about broken relationships were not actually your personal experience...they are too painful and sad, leaving me with the desire just to give you a big, warm hug of comfort. I guess your songs achieved their aim but it is still too bad you had to go through what you did.
@Mary Spender, there’s a saying, “Never break the heart of a musician or a comedian. You’ll end up in the act”. I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. I got 3-4 songs out of my relationship with her, “Deadly Lover”, “Drama Queen”, and “Little White Liar”.
Excellent piece Mary. I think it's part of the pleasure as a listener to assume meaning or understanding of lyrics and empathise with the singer songwriter, your song "Amy" being a really beautiful example
Pretty good! Beyond that really. Very good! Well thought out, well and interestingly presented, poignant and entertaining. Way to go! Please do consider a follow up on "I'll never date a musician, I know too much." I think there's lots there that could be as helpful, even more edifying and enjoyable as this one. There was a wonderful quote from some learned musicologist, perhaps Howard Goodall, or perhaps Tchaikovsky or Rachmaninoff about himself, quoting a famous other composer or themselves to the effect "I put in every emotional trick in the book in it". Sorry I can't recall the players and content. Please do give it consideration. Best & cheers, Sean
Hey Mary, I just finished watching your video about the dangers of dating a songwriter. I can truly relate to how melodies can resonate with one's reality. I wish I could make it to your concert in Liverpool, but hopefully, you'll come closer to my area sometime soon. All the best for your shows.
I think the differences you pointed out between “Dear John” and “Paper Doll” are articulated so well and I have thought the same thing. I think the level of maturity as a person and as a songwriter show themselves in such things.
It's so weird to see 2 people that I've followed separately on TH-cam or social media for years suddenly doing a collaboration out of nowhere! Pretty cool as well!
Very interesting videos you put together. I've seen about a half-dozen or so in the past week. There's a lot to digest, but it's very profound and thought-provoking.
Carly Simon has still never revealed who "You're So Vain" was really about. As for actually writing and releasing a personal song I'd say it's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission!
Thank you, Mary, for this insightful and entertaining video! I really appreciate how you explore the complexities of dating a songwriter with such depth and variety, from musical examples to legal advice. Your genuine approach and the way you candidly share your thoughts while looking directly into the camera make your content truly special. It’s inspiring to see you embrace your identity as an artist so fearlessly. Keep up the fantastic work!
"He thinks the whole thing is about him…" is just perfect… Humans are… emotional, and emotionally messy. Creative types often more so. Fortunately, I'm far too old to be dating a songwriter, or anyone. This is one of my favorite "Mary" videos - smart, sassy, that lovely Bristol accent, thoughtful. What's not to like?
Love how you tied the background music to the flow of the foreground content! The moments of you commenting from the piano as you were playing really tied in the whole thing perfectly. Well well thought out video, color me impressed!
This reminds me of a joke told by a friend in radio, who narrated it in an official-sounding infomercial voice. "Have you dated Taylor Swift and had a song written about you? You may be entitled to legal compensation." (chuckling)
To me this is one of the most interesting, intriguing and captivating films you have made. I want to watch it again. Thank you! I'd love to see another one of that kind!
Yes, a cross over event I didn't know I wanted but I am totally loving! Great job as always with your videos and your music, Mary, and fair winds with your release! :)
Oh boy, this topic hits home. My current album in the works is an unplanned homage to the trials and tribulations of my current relationship. My sound engineer also happens to be the (still) partner these songs are *mostly* about 😅 Luckily, he and I can find both humor and understanding working on this project together. Great video!
I should also point out, I’ve noticed many of my songs are written from the perspective of what I think the other person might say or react or be thinking or feeling (often this looks like calling myself out and my mistakes in plenty of sarcastic undertones lol). It’s fun
Very interesting subject. You have deep experience with someone, you can have strong emotions. "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"
Here in Italy _now_ you need also to keep rage in check if you want to avoid accusations of "hate speech". I wander if writing a song like "In the air tonight" or (on a different extent) "Eye in the sky" would be a risk-free move... who knows? Yet they are both masterpieces. When I do my stuff, I usually prefer to stick on the "how do I feel about..." side of the matter rather than the "what you have done" side. This is IMHO a more useful mental stance on the breakups: it helps me to navigate the process of "moving on" while learning something useful for the future and you can't be sued for expressing your feelings as a side bonus. Just my 5 cents. /wink
Well, I feel a bit better hearing of all these creative men and women who have experienced much heartbreak and dysfunction in their relationships, as I feel I am experiencing these days. Loved the gentle piano in the background. Thank you Mary. Your videos are uplifting and inspiring.
Excellent profile of the "life of a musician". And it is not just about songwriters, or talented instrument players. I have been shaded by a fellow professional photographer, because I did not fall lockstep into a relationship with them, because I had been happily married for 35 years. I had some photographs sent to me showing Crow's, and Sea Gulls which you no doubt know that they feast on the scum of the shoreline. So, I completely understand the situation, but I am extremely pleased with your time and effort to write this and open your heart. I was told at 10 that "life is not fair", I still remember that at 70....and it was true !
Once again you bring up an excellent point, Mary. I dig what you say about the upside of being hurt. It could be an energizer for my muse. On a parallel note: I find it hard to write upbeat hard rock lately because life for me is very laid back. Things are good for my wife and I lately and I do not want some extra trauma just so I can have writing fuel. *sigh* I guess I'll write more laid back jazzy stuff. Keep doing what you're doing Mary! I appreciate your viewpoints!
Jewel..., almost the entire album 'Pieces of You'. Gut-wrenching, tear-jerking songs about all sorts of relationships, lost loves, children, old folks. She can tell a story that almost everyone can relate to in some way, because we all know someone or some scenario that is oh so familiar. We all know that cute old couple down the street, the childhood friend, your lover today, or yesterday.
One of the best songs I've ever written - many moons ago - almost have forgotten about it until watching this video of Mary's - Song title - Further Proof - Standard tuning capo 5th Fret - gonna revisit it right now - after a few crushed, heartbroken years - thank you for the inspiration!
every song, rarely recorded…never posted or played for anyone…that i have ever written is about her. Even the ones not about any relationship subject at all. Artists couldn’t art without their experiences and feelings. Also, If someone i dated wrote a song as good as “You’re So Vain” (one of the top 3 pop songs EVER) because of me. I’d be quietly thrilled. 😂
Dating or marrying a songwriter introduces another, much bigger legal problem not mentioned in your video. If I were to preform or collaborate on songs with my partner and not have an agreement describing the share your and their contributions are to the creation of the song, I would leave myself open to a suit if the song generates revenue or royalties. They own the proportion they contributed to the songs. In my case, I was the song writer and my partner died, I inherited all rights to any of his creative work so there was no problem legally. But it is important to know how copywrite and royalties work and to make everything clear even in the heat of spontaneity and passoin. Thank you for having thought provoking videos such as this one.
Everyone should be free to make the art they wish to. Creativity is a form of self expression, the moment we start to censor or legislate how and what we can express is the moment we not only defeat the fundamental point of art but loose our basic human freedom too. When I write a song, its a personal process, it's a form of therapy for me to vent my thoughts, often at a level below my active concious. If I put that song out into the world, it then belongs to the listener, for them to take what they need from it just like I did whilst writing it. I've experienced some toxic drama over songs I've written, if people choose to attack you over some words you have written chances are they are affraid of the reality they are seeing within. The mirror maker is not responsible for the reflection one may see.
Yes, many songs(some of my best) came out of a broken relationship. My ex-wife referred to my immersion into music as 'the other woman'. Just my two cents, a lot of people think they can change the other person. I would never advise that kind of thinking going into a relationship. Instead, think "can I love/live with them like they are right now?"
The only thing I'd say (as I'm guilty of it myself) is that folks often over-analyze everything... 'Who is this song about?' Does it matter? Can't the song be taken alone, on its own merits? If Mary writes a song that moves me, does it make any difference that Mary wrote it about something personal.. or if another tune that moves me was written by 'Snowy on the Trams', describing a fictional story? ...and it's all in the ear of the beholder, isn't it? As the writer, you have no control over how someone is going to react.. and interpret.. what you 'say' in your writing... So, will you compromise your creativity and how/what you express through the vehicle of your music on the off-chance that someone will interpret it differently to how you intended?
![ILLSLICK - KILLSHOT REMIX [FULL VERSION]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RIK8RrqIAzE/mqdefault.jpg)
You know how smart you are; you scare me! So on target with niche topic, celebrity storyline; personal reflection, and guest tie in with another of my favorite YT personalities! You are hitting all cylinders with this one! The Amazing Mary Spender!!!
THIS! My ex broke up with me 18 months ago. Since then I wrote an entire album which I believe it's the best work I've done so far. It still need a lot of tweaking but the overall ideas are make me finaly feel proud of myself. I always used to say the best songs are the ones written when the artists are sad, especially when heartbroken.
This was great! I really enjoyed the style, the little stories, the minimalist piano music in the background, cutting the video back to the piano occasionally. More like this please.
Beautifully coherent video that covers a lot of ground while also being personal. Well done Mary Spender!
What a wonderful topic and brilliant execution. There’s probably a lot more that could be said on this and many many more examples. Perhaps someday you can do a part two. Thank you.
Yes please - this was fantastic!
Excellent description of the topic and well delivered. In other words good song writing and well sung.
Got the Legal Eagle in!!
Heartbreak is so universal, it's why I think songs like this resonate. I like it when they're more ubiquitous, and speak to feelings in your life :)
"I'll never date a musician!" I've heard that so often and even said it myself occasionally. And now I spend my life with a wonderful musician, who is definitely at least of equal talent; and I wouldn't want it any other way. We have even recorded two CDs together as "The BirdHouse".
In my wilder days I did dedicate quite a few songs to my ex-partners, but I wrote them as instrumentals. That helps avoiding the above-mentioned issues. ;-)
Next best thing, date a drummer: the musician's best friend (or just someone who hangs around with musicians, according to some)...
Good one👍🏼
@@frankshailes3205 It's a weird saying though, most drummers I know can play at least 4 instruments (voice being an instrument).
@@vetlerradio Yep , I have always been a singing drummer , I play the ukulele well enough to teach teenage schoolgirls , and busk ... I am a bad guitarist and bass player , love my piano ( which is after all , a percussion instrument ) I have a couple of fine arts degrees too ... but yeah ... drummers . One thing I will say is most people don't notice a good drummer but they sure as hell know when there is a bad one .
@@vetlerradio Yes, it's a bad joke. That's probably a big part of the joke itself.
In my approach, despite the hurt I experienced from my ex's "parting", I wrote songs about her strong points and the good times of the relationship rather than the hurt. Also, being somewhat obscure with the lyrics is like a privacy gate to me, the words could be interpreted in so many ways rather than making blatant clues... bad or good relationship, the relationship always started out beautifully, and it is the beautiful parts I keep for inspiration.
Ok, Bono from U2
On a different note, Laura Marling gave co writer credits to her partner because she used a chord progression that he'd practiced over and over
Really really like the whole vibe of this video with the piano. And also really love when 2 TH-camrs I watch randomly do a collab 😁 Especially 2 you wouldn't expect to cross paths
Mary - This is your most intellectually brilliant video. Much of the greatest modern music is about the high and low of love!
Your videos are so calm and soothing. Your voice sounds so safe and kind. Thank you for sometimes being a part of my self-care routine.
The subtlety in this video is amazing.
One of your BEST videos. Thank you. And thank you for adding me to your guitar stories 18 months ago. That video was brought up at my uncle’s funeral. You’re the best. Thank you.
really a big fan of the piano piece played here in the background...hope you continue to show us your talents on the keys. Additionally the storytelling here was quite good. Loved the introspective cuts interspersed.
I am wondering what that piece was as well. Beautiful
@@pendrew I believe the artist is David Nevue. He has a lot of beautiful solo piano albums.
@@12LongShot thank you
Unrequited love is my favorite theme. There’s something about loving someone who doesn’t love you back that is bitter sweet.
Excellent video, Mary. I’m one of those guys who is clueless. You explained the relationship connections of songs that I sung along to years ago and, of course, was totally unaware of their real-life implications. Of course, everybody was aware of the Warren Beatty connection in Carly Simons song, but going back in music history, the songs of Hank Williams were certainly a reflection of his emotional tribulations. But, again, this was a great video on your part. Great insights.
“In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins immediately comes to mind. Must be hard for him to relive the emotion of that in every performance.
Especially with the cans of paint on display with every performance at that time. Kudos to him for the mastery of unsubtle digs.
I Don't Care Anymore is an even better example of emotion by Phil Collins
All the way to the bank .
If you think that one is raw, take a look at the Classic Albums footage of him trying to play a song which didnt even end up on Face Value, but did end up on Genesis' Duke album, namely Please Dont Ask.
That was decades after and it was still obviously raw. He couldnt finish it. You can see it in his face.
@@aburrows2008 yep some of the live performances of 'I Don't Care Anymore' I've seen, he really builds up the emotion through the song until it explodes into rage in the end, gives me chills.
Very well done Mary. In these days of (anti) social media there is no stopping some laundry being aired. As a singer songwriter/ actor/ actress/ or any celebrity the general media will explode on anything even with the slightest vague implication of scandal rarely being held accountable for the results. My rule of thumb is date someone who is different from your professional self and you'll have so much more to share and grow.
Mary, this was a great subject to cover. As a songwriter myself, I have written about certain people in my life, but I always kept it poetic so that no one would know who that song, line or verse is about. Many of those are actually complimentary. Sometimes a song can be about a subject and within that subject, feature various people who come to mind. Without ever discussing people we've met through our short time here, we wouldn't have many interesting things to talk about.
I totally understand this. A recent bad breakup cured my years-long writer's block, and now I hope to record an EP by the end of the year. Catharsis feels nice sometimes...but like you said, sometimes it's best to sit on those songs before entering the studio.
Well done, learned some new things, and love the alter ego just noodling on the piano...
This was a pretty interesting video. As a teenager, anything I wrote musically was pretty much always about heartache. Now much, much, older, I don't write like I used to. When you're happy, it's so much harder to get that deep emotion out. But, hey, it's better to be happy and not be able to write, then miserable and writing all the time!
BTW, I very much enjoy your story telling on the channel! I think I like it equally as much you music! Keep it up!
Which begs question 🤔 ...are artists happier when their going through crap ?!?!..because ...now they got a hit song with that , 🤔.....or is it in the Artist nature .....to stir the pot.....mix up the paint. So to speak...🤔.😳...Hollwood has sure created some..messed up pallets 😏. for family and lives...I suppose for "Arts sake"..😏....🤔....warped...? Or Art....?.... sic🤔....Or both..😳...or is not all "Art" realy "Art" ....The age old first year Art student question..( my thought..🤔 if it realease s a thought , Joy pain(healthily) or feeling that helps or results in at least a bit of Healing for someone else (and does not continually damaging, individuals or society....or if it inspires one to act , or speak out of or for good of a person or group of people,or if it just makes the person give pause to compasion, if only for a moment ITS Art..)
Can't happines get just as deep as the most miserable sorrow? And have you tried writing a happy song during that mood? I'm honestly curious.
@@GiraelCS, for me, sadness or depression is something I have to get off my chest, and always found it easier to write when in that state. Same thing applied to me for drawing, etc. Not that I drew sad or depressing pictures, but I always seemed to be able to be better at it when it was dark and rainy and I felt a little more down.
When I'm happy, which is quite a lot, I'm more focused on doing other things. Sadness has a way of making me center in on myself and my feelings more.
That being said, I can write music when I'm happy, just not lyrics.
@@GiraelCS I think many songwriters write songs primarily as a form of therapy. Like they write songs to get things off their chest in lieu of going to a therapist. When someone like that is in a period of happiness and contentedness they don't feel the need to get anything off their chest.
@@Hahnsoulo That's what I imagined is often the case.
I don't have any experience with songwriting or even music writing for that matter, but I remember my favourite times drawing and how serene or even exciting it felt to get ideas from my head onto paper and it wasn't easy to draw anything when I felt down. Also many of my favorite musical pieces are ether exciting, insipiring or straight up "feel good"-vibes, so I doubt they were written in a mood on the opposite part of that spectrum, but I could be wrong.
I think to me it speaks more to the way we approach our emotions and feelings, so I will ponder on it further, because it's quite an interesting topic.
Mary, you are so cool! First, the topic is pretty interesting but bringing in the Legal Eagle is also a pretty cool collab like many of your musical collabs. Great historical background that some of us 67 year old guys remember. Thanks
Wow, this is a really good insight into emotion in songwriting. I do remember hearing something about Adele writing at her best after heartbreak or drama, but it's amazing to see how it can also play out in social media too. The legal implications of this is also quite fascinating, I can imagine that even truths about someone could hurt another person if it's not written anonymously. I'd prefer to take your stance of trying to keep it low key for any interpretation.
I have played guitar for nearly 20 years, written songs but never written lyrics. However, I recently had a relatively brief but simply perfect time with someone who I'll never see again, and the following heartbreak actually made me write a song about that time. It's not great, but I wrote it in such a short time because I felt my feelings were just fuelling my writing. It was surreal. And I totally get it now especially with context from this video. So thanks I guess ☺️
What a wonderful video, Mary.
loved all the references to other musicians and their breakups ! So Patty Boyd is with George then later Eric and even then , George and Eric played so many times together afterwards! Such an interesting subject Mary !!
Bro’s before (a very unflattering depiction of women)
Meet me in Croatia is such a great song.
I remember the story back when Matchbox Twenty had a hit with Push that Rob Thomas' Ex girlfriend had the audacity to try to sue him for a writing credit because he wrote of his poor treatment by her.
Good Lord. That suit got tossed out, I hope (and presume)?
I remember that. It made me chuckle a little. Because… how fitting, right? Poor guy and his abusive ex. He never said her by name so there really wasn’t any likeness rights. I don’t believe she got a red cent from that case, but I don’t remember how far that went.
There was also so mild controversy over the song because some people misunderstood the lyrics. They assumed that _he_ was pushing _her_ around and they assumed this was "glorifying" physical abuse / domestic violence. That's fine. Mistakes happen. People misinterpret things. But some of the folks, upon being corrected _by Rob_ doubled down and insisted they knew better than him what his lyrics were about. Truly a fascinating case study into how one can get so involved with a cause that they end up seeing the world with blinders on.
Yep..I got a legal letter ref a claim on writing points from an ex and her sister. My defence was it was her mother. True story.
@@ajhieb well said.
Mary,
I'm not sure what I enjoy more. Listening to your music or your insights on life and the music industry. Keep them coming. These are great.
Song For Whoever by Beautiful South comes to mind, as a somewhat different take on the songwriter/ex situation.
Great little video essay!! Bravo!! 😀
One safe subject, is to get ideas from other people's break ups and then write based on how you would feel in those situations.
When two people I subscribe to suddenly collab out of the blue ... always a delight.
Looking forward to the new album, Mary! And, I wish you well.
Again Mary, you’ve approached a subject from a different angle and in real depth - brilliant! I know you have acting skills and your expression on this video cover image almost led me to believe you were in hot water somewhere, but thankfully appears not. Certainly you need to keep your guard especially in the music business. As you say, Social media adds to the labyrinth of reactions and possibilities especially in opening up cans of worms when you least expect it.
Good thoughts about the morality and personal implications. Another important complication is the commercialization of celebrity relationships. Fans being invested in the RL details and sides of the fight often has significant economic benefits. It isn’t uncommon for publicists and managers to directly exploit this. The Heard-Depp brouhaha was in large part explicitly about the commercial impact of their relationship. It is one thing to use an anonymized relationship to create art. It is quite another when fans are sold on the celebrity value, and even dragged into taking sides.
And worse yet, I'd say, if one part of the relationship don't have a platform to speak from.
Great video. I'm a big Legal Eagle fan, so it was a treat to see the two of you collaborating. I guess there's an upside to being an aromantic songwriter. I may miss out on a very fruitful (and often lucrative) topic for lyrics, but I don't have to worry about any of this. lol
Content is great. But I want to take a second and point out how well put together this video is. It really keeps you engaged the entire time. It feels like you're having a conversation directly with the viewer, and the different angles keep this amazing flow going. I really like this.
One of my old band's biggest hits, "Nothing Gold Can Stay," was written about my previous band's vocalist, and some drama between us. We're famous mates now (was even the best man at his wedding), but be damned if it didn't give me a great song from the anger and pain I felt at the time.
As to breakups, I've deliberately avoided writing anything about those, as the one time I did... I realized the way I write lyrics coupled with the way that style of song generally goes was not great.
And say what you will about your song, Mary--it's an amazing piece, and one of my favorites of yours (granted there's quite a few of those)!
I myself would love to date a songwriter. Then I'd never have to worry about writing lyrics (not my strong suit) again! :D
Kind of a imbalance of power when one is a musician with a "bully pulpit" to pronounce their anger at someone and the other person is not. Particularly when the world knows who the song is likely about. As we all probably would agree, there are two sides to any romantic break-up. A huge hit by a well-known artist at the expense of an ex leaves the other person screwed. Funny thing about George Harrison and Eric Clapton - they both remained lifelong friends after Pattie Boyd left the scene. I think I recall George saying in an interview that he wasn't all that upset about it when Pattie moved on to Eric.
He referred to Eric as his "husband in law"
I agree. These songs are enjoyable on their own, but in the context of their authors, I usually assume they’re a bit neurotic to write them in the first place 😂 For narcissists, a normal part of breakups is dragging the other person’s name through the mud in a very public way to destroy their reputation as much as possible. A popular singer who publicly shames their ex in their music has an above average likelihood of being narcissistic and lacking self-awareness. And let’s face it, musicians disproportionately include the emotional, brooding, neurotic types of people who want others to adore them on stage and listen to whatever they have to say in their one-sided musical stories ;)
Maybe and maybe not about being upset. George eventually got over it but according to Patty he broke half the stuff in the house when she first told him
At the risk of being taken for a contrarian, let me suggest a completely different approach. Scottish-born songwriter Al Stewart, probably best known for The Year of the Cat, went a very different way. His songs are about historical events, many from long before he was born. I read an interview with him that asked about that and he said love songs (which include breakup songs) had been done to death and he was bored with them so he chose to do songs about major and minor historical events, including WW II, the Napoleonic Wars, and the death of Buddy Holly. I think it can be argued that writing about something OTHER than affairs of the heart adds a huge level of interest to a song. While love and heartbreak are universal experiences and therefore have a certain appeal, such songs can be seen as so routine that they lack interest. At the very least, it might be a fun challenge to write about something OTHER than a romantic entanglement.
By the way, I want to make one observation/compliment about Mary's songs that I haven't heard anyone else mention in the comments I've read on this or other videos. The fact is that Mary camouflages her exes so well that I honestly don't know if she is heterosexual, bisexual or lesbian. I commend her artistry in keeping her private life private, as it should be.
You had me at Al Stewart, then his point about love songs. I've been following a band called The Warning, partly because I'm very tired of the classic rock that is pushed at my cohort, partly because they compose and play heavy riff rock that I loved when I was a youngster (which became classic rock), partly because their current progress from kids in the basement to rock stardom is compelling (Mary's video about ambition is very relevant and disturbing) and partly because they write about very unsettling topics (to your point) such as loneliness, murder/suicide, the angel of death, choking/drowning as an allegory for emotional trauma, etc. - not as a celebration of these topics, but trying to express pain in the soul. Are pretty young girls supposed to feel and elucidate such things?
“She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running like a watercolor in the rain…”
@@HackerHaus “the ghost moon sails among the clouds”.
Any subject that a person can feel deeply about can work. And then sing it like you really mean it. "What's Up" and "Zombie" are examples that jump into my head. Going back in time, there's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", "Riders on the Storm", "The Hurricane", "Where do the Children Play", "Harper Valley PTA", "Boy Named Sue" and two of my faves, "Sultans of Swing" and "Money for Nothing". The list is rich and long. The world is chock full of things that we care about - all great potential for song lyrics.
Some of my favorite artists create music based on completely fictional events, using their storytelling and musicianship to draw in the listener. Dream Theater springs to mind with most of their material, especially their concept albums like Scenes From a Memory. Then there’s stuff like Godzilla from Racer X with high-octane, overstimulating, and shred-type playing.
The whole progressive genre, rock, metal and otherwise, is all about experimenting with different sounds, instruments, and subject matter that makes for engrossing listening. Soen by Lotus also comes to mind.
At the beginning of movies based on a true story you see the disclaimer: The following events are based on a true story. The names and locations have been changed to protect their identities. It also protects the writers from legal action. As a writer you have artistic license. No one knows what is in your head or what your intent is. People csn assume all they want but unless you specifically use someones name or likeness they will never have a case. Disguise it as a good writer should and you will always be safe from legal action. That being said, anyone can sue anybody for anything. It's up to a judge to decide if it's worthy of a court hearing.
It is impossible to keep one's strongest emotions out of one's artistic efforts,
as most of those efforts are made under the influence of those emotions.
Just be careful to make suitable adjustments before releasing a song.
And, Mary, you look incredibly good in the inserts of yourself during the Legal Eagle section.
I've always loved the humanity that rings thru your videos, not just giving the illusion that I'm standing right next to you, but agreeing with you which erases some of the cold we live thru in this digital world.
ps I'd love an ldr with you, that would knowingly come to an end but remain a solid soft friendship, the way a memory of a cat sits in one's heart...
The thing about this, is that we can all name plenty of songwriters who, through a lack of extreme enough emotional turmoil, sought ever more extreme emotional turmoil and experiential anomalies through abuse of themselves, others and the physical environment around them. Sometimes it was expected and demanded of them. This belies a level of dishonesty; a pattern of thinking, which forces further psychologically traumatising events in order to feel productive as a writer.
My advice to those who try to outdo their lived experiences by consciously choosing to cause more to happen than nature might have otherwise provided them, is to stop. Sometimes things, life, changes. Sometimes the person you were changes. Sometimes those around you change. Trying to squeeze every last drop out of every given situation is potentially an emotionally unhealthy, psychologically damaging thing to do. Reflection and looking for answers and meaning is not the same thing. Feeling and experiencing emotions and responding appropriately to them, is not the same thing.
Just my thoughts on this.
In the classical world, Felix Mendelssohn is often singled out as a composer who produced amazing music, but had an unusually comfortable life and was reasonably well-adjusted. Yes, he died early at the age of 38 (of some medical condition that ran in the family), but he had a pretty decent life before that.
@@DeGuerre Not everyone needs to channel some extreme emotional energy to create music. As a musician myself, I love creating music that *sounds* emotional, but never needed a source of said emotion to channel to it. And in the off-chance I actually utilize my negative emotions in my work, it's mostly for therapeutic purposes and probably wouldn't do if it made me feel worse.
This post wouldn't be the first I've heard of abusing oneself's emotions to create more art, though... That sounds very dangerous.
Awe I LOVE Legal Eagle ❤️ So cool he partnered with you to expand on the legal side of things musicians so often don’t know or think about
For years I've thought that dating Taylor Swift pretty much guarantees you'll end up as the subject of a song.
🤣🤣🤣
Probably. But at least you could say you used to date Taylor Swift.
Seems like she's settled down now
I would her writing about me or break-up or whatever hah
2 ways to establish your mark on history.
Do something worth writing about, or write something worth reading.
Beautiful Piano, Beautiful Story, Beautiful Heart. Thank you Mary.
There's a line in a White Stripes song that goes something like "make sure you never do it with a singer, 'cause he'll tell everyone in the world what he was thinking about the girl." I think that goes double for famous singers with highly publicized breakups.
I would hate to have a break up song possibly about my wrong doings. I already am a pretty sensitive male, never mind a song written and sung by a ex wife or a female i may have dated. People can be quite vindictive when feelings are involved. I could not go through life knowing there may be a song out there created because by a ex because their heart was broken. Hell NO.
Mary, I've always hoped your songs about broken relationships were not actually your personal experience...they are too painful and sad, leaving me with the desire just to give you a big, warm hug of comfort. I guess your songs achieved their aim but it is still too bad you had to go through what you did.
Goodness Mary, that wonderful disembodied speaking voice of yours.. smooth as silk.. and your music too of course..🙂
Mary, how could you miss out Phil Collins? The Face Value album has to have the ultimate “don’t go, I miss you, I hate you” format🤣🤣🤣
This is the first time I ever felt understood. As a songwriter and as a human being. Thank you for that Mary 💙😊
@Mary Spender, there’s a saying, “Never break the heart of a musician or a comedian. You’ll end up in the act”.
I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. I got 3-4 songs out of my relationship with her, “Deadly Lover”, “Drama Queen”, and “Little White Liar”.
Little white sucker sounds like a hit.
I did stand up for a hot minute some years ago. My ex wife inadvertently wrote the set up for one of my best bits.
I love the title "Little White Liar"!
Damm, those title of The songs sounds like something Queen would write
@@YYZed12 Drama Queen?
:D
Excellent piece Mary. I think it's part of the pleasure as a listener to assume meaning or understanding of lyrics and empathise with the singer songwriter, your song "Amy" being a really beautiful example
Pretty good! Beyond that really. Very good! Well thought out, well and interestingly presented, poignant and entertaining. Way to go!
Please do consider a follow up on "I'll never date a musician, I know too much." I think there's lots there that could be as helpful, even more edifying and enjoyable as this one. There was a wonderful quote from some learned musicologist, perhaps Howard Goodall, or perhaps Tchaikovsky or Rachmaninoff about himself, quoting a famous other composer or themselves to the effect "I put in every emotional trick in the book in it". Sorry I can't recall the players and content.
Please do give it consideration.
Best & cheers,
Sean
Greetings from Morelia, Michoacan, Mexico The best to you. Keep us posted of your coming performances.
Dang, his webcam must be hella expensive. His zoom / live stream must be cinematic af 😂
you can plug in your DSLR, mirrorless camera or dedicated video camera and use it as a webcam, that is probably what he is doing.
Hey Mary, I just finished watching your video about the dangers of dating a songwriter. I can truly relate to how melodies can resonate with one's reality. I wish I could make it to your concert in Liverpool, but hopefully, you'll come closer to my area sometime soon. All the best for your shows.
This video taught me a lesson. Never get into a romantic relationship if you don't wanna have problems. Stay single and happy forever
Very high audio recording of your voice. Lovely top end especially!
I think the differences you pointed out between “Dear John” and “Paper Doll” are articulated so well and I have thought the same thing.
I think the level of maturity as a person and as a songwriter show themselves in such things.
A great listen. And very well written and balanced opinion. And congrats on the subscriber number - I hadnt noticed how its rocketed
It's so weird to see 2 people that I've followed separately on TH-cam or social media for years suddenly doing a collaboration out of nowhere! Pretty cool as well!
My brain shortcircuited and said "Wait Mary and the LegalEagle are dating?!" LOL
Amy Lee's "Call me when you're Sober" is a great song also.
The breakup songs of ABBA are unique in the fact that Björn wrote lyrics about his break up with Agneta and the had her sing them.
Same for Fleetwood Mac
Oh, God..... So rough.
Very interesting videos you put together. I've seen about a half-dozen or so in the past week. There's a lot to digest, but it's very profound and thought-provoking.
Carly Simon has still never revealed who "You're So Vain" was really about. As for actually writing and releasing a personal song I'd say it's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission!
I heard Cat Stevens and/or Kris Kristofferson. .
@@robinleebraun7739 lots of theories but she's never confirmed. Warren Beatty, David Geffen and James Taylor were all in the mix too.
@@robinleebraun7739 Widely believed to be Warren Beatty
If I was a vain person, I’d swear that song was about me…
Thank you, Mary, for this insightful and entertaining video! I really appreciate how you explore the complexities of dating a songwriter with such depth and variety, from musical examples to legal advice. Your genuine approach and the way you candidly share your thoughts while looking directly into the camera make your content truly special. It’s inspiring to see you embrace your identity as an artist so fearlessly. Keep up the fantastic work!
"He thinks the whole thing is about him…" is just perfect… Humans are… emotional, and emotionally messy. Creative types often more so. Fortunately, I'm far too old to be dating a songwriter, or anyone. This is one of my favorite "Mary" videos - smart, sassy, that lovely Bristol accent, thoughtful. What's not to like?
Love how you tied the background music to the flow of the foreground content! The moments of you commenting from the piano as you were playing really tied in the whole thing perfectly. Well well thought out video, color me impressed!
This reminds me of a joke told by a friend in radio, who narrated it in an official-sounding infomercial voice.
"Have you dated Taylor Swift and had a song written about you? You may be entitled to legal compensation." (chuckling)
To me this is one of the most interesting, intriguing and captivating films you have made. I want to watch it again. Thank you! I'd love to see another one of that kind!
Okay so now that piano melody is stuck in my head! Well played!
The format and presentation was so nice and refreshing, wow, very nice
Fascinating topic and impeccably delivered. I especially enjoyed the mini Better Call Saul episode that was embedded within
Loved that piano piece you are playing there Mary.
Yes, a cross over event I didn't know I wanted but I am totally loving! Great job as always with your videos and your music, Mary, and fair winds with your release! :)
Oh boy, this topic hits home. My current album in the works is an unplanned homage to the trials and tribulations of my current relationship. My sound engineer also happens to be the (still) partner these songs are *mostly* about 😅 Luckily, he and I can find both humor and understanding working on this project together. Great video!
I should also point out, I’ve noticed many of my songs are written from the perspective of what I think the other person might say or react or be thinking or feeling (often this looks like calling myself out and my mistakes in plenty of sarcastic undertones lol). It’s fun
Very interesting subject. You have deep experience with someone, you can have strong emotions.
"It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"
Here in Italy _now_ you need also to keep rage in check if you want to avoid accusations of "hate speech".
I wander if writing a song like "In the air tonight" or (on a different extent) "Eye in the sky" would be a risk-free move... who knows? Yet they are both masterpieces.
When I do my stuff, I usually prefer to stick on the "how do I feel about..." side of the matter rather than the "what you have done" side. This is IMHO a more useful mental stance on the breakups: it helps me to navigate the process of "moving on" while learning something useful for the future and you can't be sued for expressing your feelings as a side bonus.
Just my 5 cents. /wink
This is a masterpiece composition! All of the elements held me for the entire story. That is a real job in the time of 'shorts'.
Well, I feel a bit better hearing of all these creative men and women who have experienced much heartbreak and dysfunction in their relationships, as I feel I am experiencing these days. Loved the gentle piano in the background. Thank you Mary. Your videos are uplifting and inspiring.
Excellent profile of the "life of a musician". And it is not just about songwriters, or talented instrument players. I have been shaded by a fellow professional photographer, because I did not fall lockstep into a relationship with them, because I had been happily married for 35 years. I had some photographs sent to me showing Crow's, and Sea Gulls which you no doubt know that they feast on the scum of the shoreline. So, I completely understand the situation, but I am extremely pleased with your time and effort to write this and open your heart. I was told at 10 that "life is not fair", I still remember that at 70....and it was true !
Broken heart or not, you are a phenomenal storyteller, Mary! 😊👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Once again you bring up an excellent point, Mary. I dig what you say about the upside of being hurt. It could be an energizer for my muse. On a parallel note: I find it hard to write upbeat hard rock lately because life for me is very laid back. Things are good for my wife and I lately and I do not want some extra trauma just so I can have writing fuel. *sigh* I guess I'll write more laid back jazzy stuff. Keep doing what you're doing Mary! I appreciate your viewpoints!
Jewel..., almost the entire album 'Pieces of You'. Gut-wrenching, tear-jerking songs about all sorts of relationships, lost loves, children, old folks. She can tell a story that almost everyone can relate to in some way, because we all know someone or some scenario that is oh so familiar. We all know that cute old couple down the street, the childhood friend, your lover today, or yesterday.
One of the best songs I've ever written - many moons ago - almost have forgotten about it until watching this video of Mary's - Song title - Further Proof - Standard tuning capo 5th Fret - gonna revisit it right now - after a few crushed, heartbroken years - thank you for the inspiration!
every song, rarely recorded…never posted or played for anyone…that i have ever written is about her. Even the ones not about any relationship subject at all. Artists couldn’t art without their experiences and feelings. Also, If someone i dated wrote a song as good as “You’re So Vain” (one of the top 3 pop songs EVER) because of me. I’d be quietly thrilled. 😂
Beautifully done video.
Quick footnote: a couple of songs on Joni Mitchell's Blue are about James Taylor as well.
FWIW, I think there's equal risk in dating a lawyer.
Peace and Blessings to you. Love you for who you are and how you are genuine about the music. Blessed.
Dating or marrying a songwriter introduces another, much bigger legal problem not mentioned in your video. If I were to preform or collaborate on songs with my partner and not have an agreement describing the share your and their contributions are to the creation of the song, I would leave myself open to a suit if the song generates revenue or royalties. They own the proportion they contributed to the songs. In my case, I was the song writer and my partner died, I inherited all rights to any of his creative work so there was no problem legally. But it is important to know how copywrite and royalties work and to make everything clear even in the heat of spontaneity and passoin. Thank you for having thought provoking videos such as this one.
Bravo! Mary, I’ve never heard anyone address this topic. You’ve done well! Cheers!
Everyone should be free to make the art they wish to. Creativity is a form of self expression, the moment we start to censor or legislate how and what we can express is the moment we not only defeat the fundamental point of art but loose our basic human freedom too.
When I write a song, its a personal process, it's a form of therapy for me to vent my thoughts, often at a level below my active concious. If I put that song out into the world, it then belongs to the listener, for them to take what they need from it just like I did whilst writing it. I've experienced some toxic drama over songs I've written, if people choose to attack you over some words you have written chances are they are affraid of the reality they are seeing within. The mirror maker is not responsible for the reflection one may see.
Yes, many songs(some of my best) came out of a broken relationship. My ex-wife referred to my immersion into music as 'the other woman'. Just my two cents, a lot of people think they can change the other person. I would never advise that kind of thinking going into a relationship. Instead, think "can I love/live with them like they are right now?"
I see a Mary Spender I didn't see before. This video was quite interesting and thought provoking. Thank you.
The only thing I'd say (as I'm guilty of it myself) is that folks often over-analyze everything... 'Who is this song about?' Does it matter? Can't the song be taken alone, on its own merits?
If Mary writes a song that moves me, does it make any difference that Mary wrote it about something personal.. or if another tune that moves me was written by 'Snowy on the Trams', describing a fictional story? ...and it's all in the ear of the beholder, isn't it? As the writer, you have no control over how someone is going to react.. and interpret.. what you 'say' in your writing...
So, will you compromise your creativity and how/what you express through the vehicle of your music on the off-chance that someone will interpret it differently to how you intended?
Great post. Your are heading in the right direction. Love your writing, singing and playing…and easy on the eyes.