The DANGERS of Dating a Songwriter ft.

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 มิ.ย. 2024
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    00:00 - 00:29 - Introduction
    00:30 - 01:09 - Musical Examples
    01:10 - 02:52 - Current Drama
    02:53 - 04:32 - Legal Eagle's Advice
    04:44 - 05:29 - Let's Continue
    05:30 - 06:29 - Icons
    06:30 - 10:49 - Taylor Swift
    10:50 - 11:09 - Outro
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ความคิดเห็น • 901

  • @JasonKnowsPodcast
    @JasonKnowsPodcast ปีที่แล้ว +42

    You know how smart you are; you scare me! So on target with niche topic, celebrity storyline; personal reflection, and guest tie in with another of my favorite YT personalities! You are hitting all cylinders with this one! The Amazing Mary Spender!!!

  • @DiegoSita
    @DiegoSita ปีที่แล้ว +22

    THIS! My ex broke up with me 18 months ago. Since then I wrote an entire album which I believe it's the best work I've done so far. It still need a lot of tweaking but the overall ideas are make me finaly feel proud of myself. I always used to say the best songs are the ones written when the artists are sad, especially when heartbroken.

  • @benboo6351
    @benboo6351 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    On a different note, Laura Marling gave co writer credits to her partner because she used a chord progression that he'd practiced over and over

  • @cloudsanddoubt
    @cloudsanddoubt ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Got the Legal Eagle in!!
    Heartbreak is so universal, it's why I think songs like this resonate. I like it when they're more ubiquitous, and speak to feelings in your life :)

  • @JochenVogel
    @JochenVogel ปีที่แล้ว +118

    "I'll never date a musician!" I've heard that so often and even said it myself occasionally. And now I spend my life with a wonderful musician, who is definitely at least of equal talent; and I wouldn't want it any other way. We have even recorded two CDs together as "The BirdHouse".
    In my wilder days I did dedicate quite a few songs to my ex-partners, but I wrote them as instrumentals. That helps avoiding the above-mentioned issues. ;-)

    • @frankshailes3205
      @frankshailes3205 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Next best thing, date a drummer: the musician's best friend (or just someone who hangs around with musicians, according to some)...

    • @bulltastik
      @bulltastik ปีที่แล้ว

      Good one👍🏼

    • @vetlerradio
      @vetlerradio ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@frankshailes3205 It's a weird saying though, most drummers I know can play at least 4 instruments (voice being an instrument).

    • @weehudyy
      @weehudyy ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@vetlerradio Yep , I have always been a singing drummer , I play the ukulele well enough to teach teenage schoolgirls , and busk ... I am a bad guitarist and bass player , love my piano ( which is after all , a percussion instrument ) I have a couple of fine arts degrees too ... but yeah ... drummers . One thing I will say is most people don't notice a good drummer but they sure as hell know when there is a bad one .

    • @frankshailes3205
      @frankshailes3205 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@vetlerradio Yes, it's a bad joke. That's probably a big part of the joke itself.

  • @toneshepherd8300
    @toneshepherd8300 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    In my approach, despite the hurt I experienced from my ex's "parting", I wrote songs about her strong points and the good times of the relationship rather than the hurt. Also, being somewhat obscure with the lyrics is like a privacy gate to me, the words could be interpreted in so many ways rather than making blatant clues... bad or good relationship, the relationship always started out beautifully, and it is the beautiful parts I keep for inspiration.

    • @evane8155
      @evane8155 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ok, Bono from U2

  • @quailstudios
    @quailstudios ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Unrequited love is my favorite theme. There’s something about loving someone who doesn’t love you back that is bitter sweet.

  • @DukeOfTwist
    @DukeOfTwist ปีที่แล้ว +59

    “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins immediately comes to mind. Must be hard for him to relive the emotion of that in every performance.

    • @sapsfm
      @sapsfm ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Especially with the cans of paint on display with every performance at that time. Kudos to him for the mastery of unsubtle digs.

    • @aburrows2008
      @aburrows2008 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I Don't Care Anymore is an even better example of emotion by Phil Collins

    • @jerrypeal653
      @jerrypeal653 ปีที่แล้ว

      All the way to the bank .

    • @stevem-h3562
      @stevem-h3562 ปีที่แล้ว

      If you think that one is raw, take a look at the Classic Albums footage of him trying to play a song which didnt even end up on Face Value, but did end up on Genesis' Duke album, namely Please Dont Ask.
      That was decades after and it was still obviously raw. He couldnt finish it. You can see it in his face.

    • @dominantprime
      @dominantprime ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@aburrows2008 yep some of the live performances of 'I Don't Care Anymore' I've seen, he really builds up the emotion through the song until it explodes into rage in the end, gives me chills.

  • @shaigluskin1225
    @shaigluskin1225 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Beautifully coherent video that covers a lot of ground while also being personal. Well done Mary Spender!

  • @richegyud5419
    @richegyud5419 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    This was great! I really enjoyed the style, the little stories, the minimalist piano music in the background, cutting the video back to the piano occasionally. More like this please.

  • @j_yh
    @j_yh ปีที่แล้ว +96

    What a wonderful topic and brilliant execution. There’s probably a lot more that could be said on this and many many more examples. Perhaps someday you can do a part two. Thank you.

    • @robcunningham8908
      @robcunningham8908 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes please - this was fantastic!

    • @77chickox
      @77chickox ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Excellent description of the topic and well delivered. In other words good song writing and well sung.

  • @courtclimbs
    @courtclimbs ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The subtlety in this video is amazing.

  • @hulkslayer626
    @hulkslayer626 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Really really like the whole vibe of this video with the piano. And also really love when 2 TH-camrs I watch randomly do a collab 😁 Especially 2 you wouldn't expect to cross paths

  • @rbryanhull
    @rbryanhull ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Your videos are so calm and soothing. Your voice sounds so safe and kind. Thank you for sometimes being a part of my self-care routine.

  • @familycraftdad
    @familycraftdad ปีที่แล้ว

    Love how you tied the background music to the flow of the foreground content! The moments of you commenting from the piano as you were playing really tied in the whole thing perfectly. Well well thought out video, color me impressed!

  • @fred993a
    @fred993a ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Mary - This is your most intellectually brilliant video. Much of the greatest modern music is about the high and low of love!

  • @blakewilliams3702
    @blakewilliams3702 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    One of your BEST videos. Thank you. And thank you for adding me to your guitar stories 18 months ago. That video was brought up at my uncle’s funeral. You’re the best. Thank you.

  • @elderhiker7787
    @elderhiker7787 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Excellent video, Mary. I’m one of those guys who is clueless. You explained the relationship connections of songs that I sung along to years ago and, of course, was totally unaware of their real-life implications. Of course, everybody was aware of the Warren Beatty connection in Carly Simons song, but going back in music history, the songs of Hank Williams were certainly a reflection of his emotional tribulations. But, again, this was a great video on your part. Great insights.

  • @edphaze6550
    @edphaze6550 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Looking forward to the new album, Mary! And, I wish you well.

  • @BSPIVEY100
    @BSPIVEY100 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Mary,
    I'm not sure what I enjoy more. Listening to your music or your insights on life and the music industry. Keep them coming. These are great.

  • @xicanttl
    @xicanttl ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Mary, you are so cool! First, the topic is pretty interesting but bringing in the Legal Eagle is also a pretty cool collab like many of your musical collabs. Great historical background that some of us 67 year old guys remember. Thanks

  • @andrewmize823
    @andrewmize823 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    There's a line in a White Stripes song that goes something like "make sure you never do it with a singer, 'cause he'll tell everyone in the world what he was thinking about the girl." I think that goes double for famous singers with highly publicized breakups.

  • @stickman55100
    @stickman55100 ปีที่แล้ว

    Can’t wait to hear and download your new Album. Love your TH-cam posts.

  • @davemcginn3794
    @davemcginn3794 ปีที่แล้ว

    Excellent piece Mary. I think it's part of the pleasure as a listener to assume meaning or understanding of lyrics and empathise with the singer songwriter, your song "Amy" being a really beautiful example

  • @JamesPorter
    @JamesPorter ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Wow, this is a really good insight into emotion in songwriting. I do remember hearing something about Adele writing at her best after heartbreak or drama, but it's amazing to see how it can also play out in social media too. The legal implications of this is also quite fascinating, I can imagine that even truths about someone could hurt another person if it's not written anonymously. I'd prefer to take your stance of trying to keep it low key for any interpretation.
    I have played guitar for nearly 20 years, written songs but never written lyrics. However, I recently had a relatively brief but simply perfect time with someone who I'll never see again, and the following heartbreak actually made me write a song about that time. It's not great, but I wrote it in such a short time because I felt my feelings were just fuelling my writing. It was surreal. And I totally get it now especially with context from this video. So thanks I guess ☺️

  • @narglefargle
    @narglefargle ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I totally understand this. A recent bad breakup cured my years-long writer's block, and now I hope to record an EP by the end of the year. Catharsis feels nice sometimes...but like you said, sometimes it's best to sit on those songs before entering the studio.

  • @jammergreg
    @jammergreg ปีที่แล้ว

    Great post. Your are heading in the right direction. Love your writing, singing and playing…and easy on the eyes.

  • @stevep2430
    @stevep2430 ปีที่แล้ว

    Loved that piano piece you are playing there Mary.

  • @michaelenosmusic
    @michaelenosmusic ปีที่แล้ว +75

    I remember the story back when Matchbox Twenty had a hit with Push that Rob Thomas' Ex girlfriend had the audacity to try to sue him for a writing credit because he wrote of his poor treatment by her.

    • @DeeEllEff
      @DeeEllEff ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Good Lord. That suit got tossed out, I hope (and presume)?

    • @patrickmckibben1932
      @patrickmckibben1932 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I remember that. It made me chuckle a little. Because… how fitting, right? Poor guy and his abusive ex. He never said her by name so there really wasn’t any likeness rights. I don’t believe she got a red cent from that case, but I don’t remember how far that went.

    • @ajhieb
      @ajhieb ปีที่แล้ว +12

      There was also so mild controversy over the song because some people misunderstood the lyrics. They assumed that _he_ was pushing _her_ around and they assumed this was "glorifying" physical abuse / domestic violence. That's fine. Mistakes happen. People misinterpret things. But some of the folks, upon being corrected _by Rob_ doubled down and insisted they knew better than him what his lyrics were about. Truly a fascinating case study into how one can get so involved with a cause that they end up seeing the world with blinders on.

    • @breifne555
      @breifne555 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yep..I got a legal letter ref a claim on writing points from an ex and her sister. My defence was it was her mother. True story.

    • @drdre4397
      @drdre4397 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@ajhieb well said.

  • @lewiscrow
    @lewiscrow ปีที่แล้ว +55

    For years I've thought that dating Taylor Swift pretty much guarantees you'll end up as the subject of a song.

    • @Rick_Cleland
      @Rick_Cleland ปีที่แล้ว

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @tele68
      @tele68 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Probably. But at least you could say you used to date Taylor Swift.

    • @cuber3603
      @cuber3603 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Seems like she's settled down now

    • @aitornavarro6597
      @aitornavarro6597 ปีที่แล้ว

      I would her writing about me or break-up or whatever hah

    • @jokeassasin7733
      @jokeassasin7733 ปีที่แล้ว

      2 ways to establish your mark on history.
      Do something worth writing about, or write something worth reading.

  • @peterbondmusic
    @peterbondmusic ปีที่แล้ว

    This is very thoughtful, and I really like the structure and editing.

  • @maxblack2347
    @maxblack2347 ปีที่แล้ว

    The format and presentation was so nice and refreshing, wow, very nice

  • @OuterGalaxyLounge
    @OuterGalaxyLounge ปีที่แล้ว +4

    When two people I subscribe to suddenly collab out of the blue ... always a delight.

  • @bungopony
    @bungopony ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Mary, this was a great subject to cover. As a songwriter myself, I have written about certain people in my life, but I always kept it poetic so that no one would know who that song, line or verse is about. Many of those are actually complimentary. Sometimes a song can be about a subject and within that subject, feature various people who come to mind. Without ever discussing people we've met through our short time here, we wouldn't have many interesting things to talk about.

  • @weepingscorpion8739
    @weepingscorpion8739 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yes, a cross over event I didn't know I wanted but I am totally loving! Great job as always with your videos and your music, Mary, and fair winds with your release! :)

  • @richardcamp8301
    @richardcamp8301 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    A great listen. And very well written and balanced opinion. And congrats on the subscriber number - I hadnt noticed how its rocketed

  • @yacht199
    @yacht199 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    really a big fan of the piano piece played here in the background...hope you continue to show us your talents on the keys. Additionally the storytelling here was quite good. Loved the introspective cuts interspersed.

    • @pendrew
      @pendrew ปีที่แล้ว

      I am wondering what that piece was as well. Beautiful

    • @12LongShot
      @12LongShot ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@pendrew I believe the artist is David Nevue. He has a lot of beautiful solo piano albums.

    • @pendrew
      @pendrew ปีที่แล้ว

      @@12LongShot thank you

  • @borderlineguitarguy
    @borderlineguitarguy ปีที่แล้ว +6

    At the beginning of movies based on a true story you see the disclaimer: The following events are based on a true story. The names and locations have been changed to protect their identities. It also protects the writers from legal action. As a writer you have artistic license. No one knows what is in your head or what your intent is. People csn assume all they want but unless you specifically use someones name or likeness they will never have a case. Disguise it as a good writer should and you will always be safe from legal action. That being said, anyone can sue anybody for anything. It's up to a judge to decide if it's worthy of a court hearing.

  • @samfreedman6108
    @samfreedman6108 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Great little video essay!! Bravo!! 😀
    One safe subject, is to get ideas from other people's break ups and then write based on how you would feel in those situations.

  • @Just_Me_TG
    @Just_Me_TG ปีที่แล้ว +1

    To me this is one of the most interesting, intriguing and captivating films you have made. I want to watch it again. Thank you! I'd love to see another one of that kind!

  • @tonyeagle3912
    @tonyeagle3912 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Again Mary, you’ve approached a subject from a different angle and in real depth - brilliant! I know you have acting skills and your expression on this video cover image almost led me to believe you were in hot water somewhere, but thankfully appears not. Certainly you need to keep your guard especially in the music business. As you say, Social media adds to the labyrinth of reactions and possibilities especially in opening up cans of worms when you least expect it.

  • @yackohoopy
    @yackohoopy ปีที่แล้ว +75

    @Mary Spender, there’s a saying, “Never break the heart of a musician or a comedian. You’ll end up in the act”.
    I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. I got 3-4 songs out of my relationship with her, “Deadly Lover”, “Drama Queen”, and “Little White Liar”.

    • @jcmangan
      @jcmangan ปีที่แล้ว

      Little white sucker sounds like a hit.

    • @gordonmills2748
      @gordonmills2748 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I did stand up for a hot minute some years ago. My ex wife inadvertently wrote the set up for one of my best bits.

    • @gregster61
      @gregster61 ปีที่แล้ว

      I love the title "Little White Liar"!

    • @YYZed12
      @YYZed12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Damm, those title of The songs sounds like something Queen would write

    •  ปีที่แล้ว

      @@YYZed12 Drama Queen?
      :D

  • @scottcher
    @scottcher ปีที่แล้ว

    Fantastic. So good and such a perfect piano accompaniment. Really outstanding content and a great execution. Clearly the result of a lot of work and passion for the topic.

  • @fosterern
    @fosterern ปีที่แล้ว

    Well done. Well said. You beautifully captured the nuance of this sensitive topic Mary.

  • @soulofash2112
    @soulofash2112 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    One of my old band's biggest hits, "Nothing Gold Can Stay," was written about my previous band's vocalist, and some drama between us. We're famous mates now (was even the best man at his wedding), but be damned if it didn't give me a great song from the anger and pain I felt at the time.
    As to breakups, I've deliberately avoided writing anything about those, as the one time I did... I realized the way I write lyrics coupled with the way that style of song generally goes was not great.
    And say what you will about your song, Mary--it's an amazing piece, and one of my favorites of yours (granted there's quite a few of those)!
    I myself would love to date a songwriter. Then I'd never have to worry about writing lyrics (not my strong suit) again! :D

  • @anthonystevens8683
    @anthonystevens8683 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Very well done Mary. In these days of (anti) social media there is no stopping some laundry being aired. As a singer songwriter/ actor/ actress/ or any celebrity the general media will explode on anything even with the slightest vague implication of scandal rarely being held accountable for the results. My rule of thumb is date someone who is different from your professional self and you'll have so much more to share and grow.

  • @mathispenel22
    @mathispenel22 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very interesting video about a topic I wouldn't thought of, thank you Mary !

  • @InspiredMoney
    @InspiredMoney ปีที่แล้ว

    Love the storytelling in this video. Thank you!

  • @johnhmaloney
    @johnhmaloney ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great video. I'm a big Legal Eagle fan, so it was a treat to see the two of you collaborating. I guess there's an upside to being an aromantic songwriter. I may miss out on a very fruitful (and often lucrative) topic for lyrics, but I don't have to worry about any of this. lol

  • @tylerpalmer8973
    @tylerpalmer8973 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    This was a pretty interesting video. As a teenager, anything I wrote musically was pretty much always about heartache. Now much, much, older, I don't write like I used to. When you're happy, it's so much harder to get that deep emotion out. But, hey, it's better to be happy and not be able to write, then miserable and writing all the time!
    BTW, I very much enjoy your story telling on the channel! I think I like it equally as much you music! Keep it up!

    • @franklee1205
      @franklee1205 ปีที่แล้ว

      Which begs question 🤔 ...are artists happier when their going through crap ?!?!..because ...now they got a hit song with that , 🤔.....or is it in the Artist nature .....to stir the pot.....mix up the paint. So to speak...🤔.😳...Hollwood has sure created some..messed up pallets 😏. for family and lives...I suppose for "Arts sake"..😏....🤔....warped...? Or Art....?.... sic🤔....Or both..😳...or is not all "Art" realy "Art" ....The age old first year Art student question..( my thought..🤔 if it realease s a thought , Joy pain(healthily) or feeling that helps or results in at least a bit of Healing for someone else (and does not continually damaging, individuals or society....or if it inspires one to act , or speak out of or for good of a person or group of people,or if it just makes the person give pause to compasion, if only for a moment ITS Art..)

    • @GiraelCS
      @GiraelCS ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Can't happines get just as deep as the most miserable sorrow? And have you tried writing a happy song during that mood? I'm honestly curious.

    • @tylerpalmer8973
      @tylerpalmer8973 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@GiraelCS, for me, sadness or depression is something I have to get off my chest, and always found it easier to write when in that state. Same thing applied to me for drawing, etc. Not that I drew sad or depressing pictures, but I always seemed to be able to be better at it when it was dark and rainy and I felt a little more down.
      When I'm happy, which is quite a lot, I'm more focused on doing other things. Sadness has a way of making me center in on myself and my feelings more.
      That being said, I can write music when I'm happy, just not lyrics.

    • @Hahnsoulo
      @Hahnsoulo ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@GiraelCS I think many songwriters write songs primarily as a form of therapy. Like they write songs to get things off their chest in lieu of going to a therapist. When someone like that is in a period of happiness and contentedness they don't feel the need to get anything off their chest.

    • @GiraelCS
      @GiraelCS ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Hahnsoulo That's what I imagined is often the case.
      I don't have any experience with songwriting or even music writing for that matter, but I remember my favourite times drawing and how serene or even exciting it felt to get ideas from my head onto paper and it wasn't easy to draw anything when I felt down. Also many of my favorite musical pieces are ether exciting, insipiring or straight up "feel good"-vibes, so I doubt they were written in a mood on the opposite part of that spectrum, but I could be wrong.
      I think to me it speaks more to the way we approach our emotions and feelings, so I will ponder on it further, because it's quite an interesting topic.

  • @salnegromusic
    @salnegromusic ปีที่แล้ว

    Peace and Blessings to you. Love you for who you are and how you are genuine about the music. Blessed.

  • @JuanCaly
    @JuanCaly ปีที่แล้ว

    What a great video! Loved the piano soundtrack. So emotional.

  • @kirkb6329
    @kirkb6329 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    loved all the references to other musicians and their breakups ! So Patty Boyd is with George then later Eric and even then , George and Eric played so many times together afterwards! Such an interesting subject Mary !!

    • @robinleebraun7739
      @robinleebraun7739 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Bro’s before (a very unflattering depiction of women)

  • @johnsauer9067
    @johnsauer9067 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    Kind of a imbalance of power when one is a musician with a "bully pulpit" to pronounce their anger at someone and the other person is not. Particularly when the world knows who the song is likely about. As we all probably would agree, there are two sides to any romantic break-up. A huge hit by a well-known artist at the expense of an ex leaves the other person screwed. Funny thing about George Harrison and Eric Clapton - they both remained lifelong friends after Pattie Boyd left the scene. I think I recall George saying in an interview that he wasn't all that upset about it when Pattie moved on to Eric.

    • @samsowden
      @samsowden ปีที่แล้ว +4

      He referred to Eric as his "husband in law"

    • @400_billion_suns
      @400_billion_suns ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I agree. These songs are enjoyable on their own, but in the context of their authors, I usually assume they’re a bit neurotic to write them in the first place 😂 For narcissists, a normal part of breakups is dragging the other person’s name through the mud in a very public way to destroy their reputation as much as possible. A popular singer who publicly shames their ex in their music has an above average likelihood of being narcissistic and lacking self-awareness. And let’s face it, musicians disproportionately include the emotional, brooding, neurotic types of people who want others to adore them on stage and listen to whatever they have to say in their one-sided musical stories ;)

    • @michaelboggus9993
      @michaelboggus9993 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Maybe and maybe not about being upset. George eventually got over it but according to Patty he broke half the stuff in the house when she first told him

  • @ButchWilson
    @ButchWilson ปีที่แล้ว

    This is an excellent and insightful commentary. Well said, and thank you. And that piano piece is outstanding.

  • @OliveOliFera
    @OliveOliFera ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This was such an interesting video! Thank you!

  • @kjbunnyboiler
    @kjbunnyboiler ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Mary, how could you miss out Phil Collins? The Face Value album has to have the ultimate “don’t go, I miss you, I hate you” format🤣🤣🤣

  • @seanhallahan14
    @seanhallahan14 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Pretty good! Beyond that really. Very good! Well thought out, well and interestingly presented, poignant and entertaining. Way to go!
    Please do consider a follow up on "I'll never date a musician, I know too much." I think there's lots there that could be as helpful, even more edifying and enjoyable as this one. There was a wonderful quote from some learned musicologist, perhaps Howard Goodall, or perhaps Tchaikovsky or Rachmaninoff about himself, quoting a famous other composer or themselves to the effect "I put in every emotional trick in the book in it". Sorry I can't recall the players and content.
    Please do give it consideration.
    Best & cheers,
    Sean

  • @FDNY8231
    @FDNY8231 ปีที่แล้ว

    Enjoyed the piano playing very much.

  • @divarachelenvy
    @divarachelenvy ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this, I always wondered... Love your work...

  • @epoch71
    @epoch71 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Song For Whoever by Beautiful South comes to mind, as a somewhat different take on the songwriter/ex situation.

  • @hughmungus1767
    @hughmungus1767 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    At the risk of being taken for a contrarian, let me suggest a completely different approach. Scottish-born songwriter Al Stewart, probably best known for The Year of the Cat, went a very different way. His songs are about historical events, many from long before he was born. I read an interview with him that asked about that and he said love songs (which include breakup songs) had been done to death and he was bored with them so he chose to do songs about major and minor historical events, including WW II, the Napoleonic Wars, and the death of Buddy Holly. I think it can be argued that writing about something OTHER than affairs of the heart adds a huge level of interest to a song. While love and heartbreak are universal experiences and therefore have a certain appeal, such songs can be seen as so routine that they lack interest. At the very least, it might be a fun challenge to write about something OTHER than a romantic entanglement.
    By the way, I want to make one observation/compliment about Mary's songs that I haven't heard anyone else mention in the comments I've read on this or other videos. The fact is that Mary camouflages her exes so well that I honestly don't know if she is heterosexual, bisexual or lesbian. I commend her artistry in keeping her private life private, as it should be.

    • @rexwave4624
      @rexwave4624 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You had me at Al Stewart, then his point about love songs. I've been following a band called The Warning, partly because I'm very tired of the classic rock that is pushed at my cohort, partly because they compose and play heavy riff rock that I loved when I was a youngster (which became classic rock), partly because their current progress from kids in the basement to rock stardom is compelling (Mary's video about ambition is very relevant and disturbing) and partly because they write about very unsettling topics (to your point) such as loneliness, murder/suicide, the angel of death, choking/drowning as an allegory for emotional trauma, etc. - not as a celebration of these topics, but trying to express pain in the soul. Are pretty young girls supposed to feel and elucidate such things?

    • @HackerHaus
      @HackerHaus ปีที่แล้ว +1

      “She comes out of the sun in a silk dress running like a watercolor in the rain…”

    • @rexwave4624
      @rexwave4624 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@HackerHaus “the ghost moon sails among the clouds”.

    • @wturber
      @wturber ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Any subject that a person can feel deeply about can work. And then sing it like you really mean it. "What's Up" and "Zombie" are examples that jump into my head. Going back in time, there's "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald", "Riders on the Storm", "The Hurricane", "Where do the Children Play", "Harper Valley PTA", "Boy Named Sue" and two of my faves, "Sultans of Swing" and "Money for Nothing". The list is rich and long. The world is chock full of things that we care about - all great potential for song lyrics.

    • @TomBombadil515
      @TomBombadil515 ปีที่แล้ว

      Some of my favorite artists create music based on completely fictional events, using their storytelling and musicianship to draw in the listener. Dream Theater springs to mind with most of their material, especially their concept albums like Scenes From a Memory. Then there’s stuff like Godzilla from Racer X with high-octane, overstimulating, and shred-type playing.
      The whole progressive genre, rock, metal and otherwise, is all about experimenting with different sounds, instruments, and subject matter that makes for engrossing listening. Soen by Lotus also comes to mind.

  • @jesushernandezpitito
    @jesushernandezpitito ปีที่แล้ว

    Greetings from Morelia, Michoacan, Mexico The best to you. Keep us posted of your coming performances.

  • @spaz_ol4485
    @spaz_ol4485 ปีที่แล้ว

    Amazing video, love this sort of content. Thanks!

  • @spacemissing
    @spacemissing ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It is impossible to keep one's strongest emotions out of one's artistic efforts,
    as most of those efforts are made under the influence of those emotions.
    Just be careful to make suitable adjustments before releasing a song.
    And, Mary, you look incredibly good in the inserts of yourself during the Legal Eagle section.

  • @LysanderLH
    @LysanderLH ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The thing about this, is that we can all name plenty of songwriters who, through a lack of extreme enough emotional turmoil, sought ever more extreme emotional turmoil and experiential anomalies through abuse of themselves, others and the physical environment around them. Sometimes it was expected and demanded of them. This belies a level of dishonesty; a pattern of thinking, which forces further psychologically traumatising events in order to feel productive as a writer.
    My advice to those who try to outdo their lived experiences by consciously choosing to cause more to happen than nature might have otherwise provided them, is to stop. Sometimes things, life, changes. Sometimes the person you were changes. Sometimes those around you change. Trying to squeeze every last drop out of every given situation is potentially an emotionally unhealthy, psychologically damaging thing to do. Reflection and looking for answers and meaning is not the same thing. Feeling and experiencing emotions and responding appropriately to them, is not the same thing.
    Just my thoughts on this.

    • @DeGuerre
      @DeGuerre ปีที่แล้ว +1

      In the classical world, Felix Mendelssohn is often singled out as a composer who produced amazing music, but had an unusually comfortable life and was reasonably well-adjusted. Yes, he died early at the age of 38 (of some medical condition that ran in the family), but he had a pretty decent life before that.

    • @nitroanilinmusic
      @nitroanilinmusic ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@DeGuerre Not everyone needs to channel some extreme emotional energy to create music. As a musician myself, I love creating music that *sounds* emotional, but never needed a source of said emotion to channel to it. And in the off-chance I actually utilize my negative emotions in my work, it's mostly for therapeutic purposes and probably wouldn't do if it made me feel worse.
      This post wouldn't be the first I've heard of abusing oneself's emotions to create more art, though... That sounds very dangerous.

  • @grimslater
    @grimslater ปีที่แล้ว

    Very high audio recording of your voice. Lovely top end especially!

  • @seandaeley7079
    @seandaeley7079 ปีที่แล้ว

    A fun, funny, and informative video essay, Mary! Thank you!

  • @psa110
    @psa110 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Mary, I've always hoped your songs about broken relationships were not actually your personal experience...they are too painful and sad, leaving me with the desire just to give you a big, warm hug of comfort. I guess your songs achieved their aim but it is still too bad you had to go through what you did.

  • @SunnyIntervalsORG
    @SunnyIntervalsORG ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It's so weird to see 2 people that I've followed separately on TH-cam or social media for years suddenly doing a collaboration out of nowhere! Pretty cool as well!

    • @rasaecnai
      @rasaecnai ปีที่แล้ว

      My brain shortcircuited and said "Wait Mary and the LegalEagle are dating?!" LOL

  • @scottmcbride5514
    @scottmcbride5514 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Well done, learned some new things, and love the alter ego just noodling on the piano...

  • @meekoloco
    @meekoloco ปีที่แล้ว

    Okay so now that piano melody is stuck in my head! Well played!

  • @dominicsedillo1980
    @dominicsedillo1980 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I think the differences you pointed out between “Dear John” and “Paper Doll” are articulated so well and I have thought the same thing.
    I think the level of maturity as a person and as a songwriter show themselves in such things.

  • @theboysown
    @theboysown ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The breakup songs of ABBA are unique in the fact that Björn wrote lyrics about his break up with Agneta and the had her sing them.

    • @Sam-vy8ye
      @Sam-vy8ye ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same for Fleetwood Mac

    • @calewis55
      @calewis55 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh, God..... So rough.

  • @timwillis6292
    @timwillis6292 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great Info & Advise 🌿

  • @rusnsc7622
    @rusnsc7622 ปีที่แล้ว

    Quite interesting and a very well done clever video. Bravo Mary!👏

  • @Markothunder
    @Markothunder ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This video taught me a lesson. Never get into a romantic relationship if you don't wanna have problems. Stay single and happy forever

  • @thedduck
    @thedduck ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dang, his webcam must be hella expensive. His zoom / live stream must be cinematic af 😂

    • @friendofships
      @friendofships ปีที่แล้ว +1

      you can plug in your DSLR, mirrorless camera or dedicated video camera and use it as a webcam, that is probably what he is doing.

  • @bsvenss2
    @bsvenss2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Didn't think I'd stay so long, but this was a very interesting and fascinating video. Thumbs up!

  • @BryannaHitchcock
    @BryannaHitchcock ปีที่แล้ว

    Quality content. Thank you. Fun stuff. I have a hard time coming up with song ideas when I'm happy. Most of my best songs were those of sadness or longing.

  • @rayschoch5882
    @rayschoch5882 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "He thinks the whole thing is about him…" is just perfect… Humans are… emotional, and emotionally messy. Creative types often more so. Fortunately, I'm far too old to be dating a songwriter, or anyone. This is one of my favorite "Mary" videos - smart, sassy, that lovely Bristol accent, thoughtful. What's not to like?

  • @DazzleRebel
    @DazzleRebel ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Carly Simon has still never revealed who "You're So Vain" was really about. As for actually writing and releasing a personal song I'd say it's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to ask for permission!

    • @robinleebraun7739
      @robinleebraun7739 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I heard Cat Stevens and/or Kris Kristofferson. .

    • @DazzleRebel
      @DazzleRebel ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@robinleebraun7739 lots of theories but she's never confirmed. Warren Beatty, David Geffen and James Taylor were all in the mix too.

    • @martinwatkins1444
      @martinwatkins1444 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@robinleebraun7739 Widely believed to be Warren Beatty

    • @aaronbenson2767
      @aaronbenson2767 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If I was a vain person, I’d swear that song was about me…

  • @antunkatona5674
    @antunkatona5674 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video was brilliant, Mary! Very interesting and funny too! Thanks!

  • @paultisme
    @paultisme ปีที่แล้ว

    Goodness Mary, that wonderful disembodied speaking voice of yours.. smooth as silk.. and your music too of course..🙂

  • @tauzeroii-jayg1226
    @tauzeroii-jayg1226 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This reminds me of a joke told by a friend in radio, who narrated it in an official-sounding infomercial voice.
    "Have you dated Taylor Swift and had a song written about you? You may be entitled to legal compensation." (chuckling)

  • @billwentz5014
    @billwentz5014 ปีที่แล้ว

    As always, excellent video. You're the best!

  • @XOChristianaNicole
    @XOChristianaNicole ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What a wonderful video, Mary.

  • @RyanMcMusic
    @RyanMcMusic ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks so much for making this

  • @tenniswithandy
    @tenniswithandy ปีที่แล้ว

    creative video, I really like the musical backing as it adds to the tenor

  • @leewilson1368
    @leewilson1368 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bravo! Mary, I’ve never heard anyone address this topic. You’ve done well! Cheers!

  • @ochjim
    @ochjim ปีที่แล้ว

    Insightful, articulate and engaging +. This would make a great springboard for multiple videos on the numerous relationships/breakups that have made it into song.

  • @sociopathicnarcissist8810
    @sociopathicnarcissist8810 ปีที่แล้ว

    Insightful and interesting, more reflections like this please.

  • @scottoakley3206
    @scottoakley3206 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is a masterpiece composition! All of the elements held me for the entire story. That is a real job in the time of 'shorts'.

  • @andyrharris
    @andyrharris ปีที่แล้ว

    This is one of your best videos yet. Good work!

  • @JamieMPhoto
    @JamieMPhoto ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Love this video, and Legal Eagle rules! Also, love your piano interjections. ha ha.

  • @rk1362
    @rk1362 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Beautifully done video.

  • @CanyonWanderer
    @CanyonWanderer ปีที่แล้ว

    Interesting topic and very well handled. I'm getting very curious for what you've been recording. All recent playing by you being it guitar / piano / midnight singing in quiet villages 😜sounds top notch! Cannot wait!

  • @ZijZijnZijnZoons
    @ZijZijnZijnZoons ปีที่แล้ว

    Very interesting videos you put together. I've seen about a half-dozen or so in the past week. There's a lot to digest, but it's very profound and thought-provoking.

  • @catarinabarbosa2247
    @catarinabarbosa2247 ปีที่แล้ว

    i think this is one of my favorite (not counting song releases) videos you've ever made!

  • @G-Mac-3
    @G-Mac-3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hello Mary, Thanks for Posting this