To Control Is To Cope - The Creation of the Narcissist
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 มี.ค. 2019
- The explanation as to what creates the narcissist, how control is central to that, where that comes from and what that then means for you as a victim of the narcissist.
narcsite.com
Questions? Arrange a consultation through narcsite.com
E-mail narcissist1909@gmail.com
![CAMPปลิ้น | EP.79[1/2] แก๊งไทบ้านพาบุกเมืองบั้งไฟโก้ ยโสธรรรร!!!](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ldr3_fvTEXk/mqdefault.jpg)
It sounds exhausting to be a narcissist
Due to his mother’s abandonment of him as a toddler and his father’s neglect of him as a child, his brain developed differently and changed as a child. As he grew up, he grew into this pathological and disordered way of thinking that can never be reversed. People with narcissistic pathological disorder are never happy and they have to hate and hurt the person who loves them the most.
So many naive people in the comment section applying “Narc healing” advice equivalent to “Depression healing” advise “Just feel happy and you won’t be depressed!” or “just change your attitude and you won’t be depressed”. The whole mind-over-matter BS approach to fixing mental health issues.
I can understand why some well-meaning "experts" urge us "not to hate" the Narcissist. It is to our detriment. As control is a coping mechanism for your kind, hate and resentment - such as we can arrive at those - are a coping mechanism for us. It is difficult not to feel something for a fellow damaged sufferer, even if they are turned into something far different than us. But regrettably we could care and care, and basically feed our entire beings to a Narcissist or Psyopath and it would have no 'humanizing' effect.
HG has it ever occurred to you that you are the one being controlled? That you let flourish a modus operandi because it was easier and you didn’t want to fight? It gives you the illusion of power but puts blinkers on you and you swim around and around, king of your own.....goldfish bowl. Excuse the mixed metaphor.
Once I heard my soon to be ex Narcissist’s mother say the she didn’t like to be in big groups cause she couldn’t “ control” the group!! Boy I thought that was a weird statement! Now I know that she the narcissist made my husband a narcissist! Boy is he controlling too!!!!
What a nightmare to have to have control all the time!!
Definitely one of your best videos. I wish every new parent had to take a course and understand every in depth example before claiming their babies as their own. I had my only son at the brink of age 18, and I was so determined to do it right, that no one could ever say I was too young to know what I was doing. I was likely too involved or too stern too many times. I thank God that he turned out beautifully and tease him that he’s lucky he made it out alive. ;) But the damage we as parents can do either unknowingly or intentionally is scary stuff. While “reparenting” myself, I’ve tried to say to him forgive me wherever I may have failed you or let you down, and I’ve encouraged him to examine any area where he feels his needs weren’t met and to give himself what he needs. He brushed me off by assuring me he turned out just fine, but I was just lucky and thank God for him. The gene runs deep, and I still don’t fully understand how one sibling takes the turn to full blown narcissist while the other takes a more empathic path. Eye opening examples.
Retaining that level of control must be exhausting.
SK Probably but look at how much they exhaust and abuse everyone around them instead.
Exhausting for the Narc, and everyone in their orbit. The Narc in my life constantly complained of being exhausted - quelle surprise!
It may be exhausting but it is also emotionally rewarding for them via the harm on others they inflict that they feed off.
HG- glad you're posting on a regular basis again. Love your content.
Thank you.
Listening to you is helping me cope/heal. Thank you
One of your best videos, HG. Thank you for helping us understand.
Thank you.
I would put this video right next to, A Dark Angel.
He was a big part of my life and he influenced much of my life; I will give him that. But I am content. I have found my own peace and I am constantly working on my happiness. I don’t hate my ex. I don’t love him anymore, and I don’t like him overall, either. I have peace and happiness and contentment; he will never have these.
Get a personal plan (know what you PERSONALLY want to get out of life- like your true calling) before you get a man. If that calling is saving people become a doctor, nurse, real teacher, counselor, therapist or something other than a emotional dumping ground from ONE person that tricked you into loving them. 💕 to all of us.
HG; That I'm aware of - this is your best video release by far (in my humble opinion of course)
The arise of the narc
...once upon a time the narcissist (maybe when she wasn´t a narcissit yet) did not have control (and that REMAINS).
Thanks for your unique way to reveal us the truth
Wow...😯
That’s a brilliant analysis HG!!!
Thank You for this remarkable clarity👍🏽
Quite sad actually. Thank you HG for this understanding.
Wonderfully done, very well explained.👏
Thank you.
Amazing explanation. This is a great video! Thank you for this.
Thank you for explaining HG. Your so intelligent. Why cant you change?
Being an insomniac, I listen to your voice to put me to sleep. It has a rich timbre. Have you considered doing voice overs?
EVERYONE needs to break out of any childhood programming that does not help is create the life we love.
What a crappy existence to have to live that way. It seems you were abused, so you choose to abuse others. Crap! Grow up and learn how to treat people with respect.
That's about as helpful as telling a depressed person to 'cheer up it might never happen'. Thanks - for nothing.
Narcissists are stuck this way for life.
Yeah, the narcissism literally put its fingers in the ears of the true self while you spouted that out.
perfect explanation!
So good. We needed this one. thank you.
HG, thank you for helping me understand.
Listening to this video again. Very informative, thank you for your service H.G. Tudor.
I have a question HG, I was abused for decades including torture from my "mother's" religious cult and my Narcissist father (probably the lesser type) was a monstrous parent including implementing all flavors of abuse upon my now deceased little brother (suicide) and I. I have however been on a journey of healing for years and though I have had dealings with "your kind" even after escaping my family of origin full of toxic parents and familia, I have never intentionally abused anyone in my life. I was however, according to you, set up to be one of your kind, based on your statements of my formative TOTAL lack of control and TOTAL neglect and prolonged abuse. Why then HG did I not become like you? I chose not be like either of my parents, or my brother who was very much in the Cluster B camp. I am not challenging you, I am just curious as to why in the near same situations that you described, in which I NEVER had control, I chose the opposite way of life. Or did I choose it? If you feel that you have no way to change, which involves choice, did I also not have a choice to be who I became? Again, I am not challenging you, I am very interested in your answer Sir. Please answer me. Muchas gracias. Lucy.
*Love* *you* *HG* 🖤
You're pretty sexy.
Excellent Video 💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥💪🏿💪🏿 Epigenetics
Excellent! Thankyou HG.
Loving going back in time with you 🖤
Absolutely outstanding HG
Excellently explained!
Excellent video! Thank you!
Thank you, HG!
Damn hg you just answered alot of my questions about the creation of your kind damn I'm just floored right now explains alot of why you all just decide to cope with things differently than we do absolutely crazy...but I get it from your perspective.
Omg! I'm always amazed by the information you share. Your just amazing. I bet your just as handsome as you sound.
The guy that I was with said that he was lauded by his father. The sun shone out of somewhere.....you know where! Must be exhausting to have to control your environment every living second.
Deep gratitude
Thank you so much for posting these. This one was powerful and hit a little close to home! Do you have any videos, books, or articles that would help a parent with a teenager who is starting to show Narcissistic traits....and/or if it's possible to halt the progress of narcissism?
Brilliant.
Lassoing a ☁️ cloud.
Perfectly said 🐈⬛
My narc relative partly became a narc because our grandfather was one. She was an only child for the first 3 years of her life and was genuinely happy when her brother was born. Her parents were not narcs and didn't neglect, abuse or overspoil her. The only way I can explain her narcissism is her genetic predisposotion because it runs in the family with 1 narc relative I know of.
Hello HG, A wonderful video, as always.
It’s highlighted my childhood unobtainable and perpetual goals set by both of my parents.
Having watched your videos and reading material elsewhere, I am very confident now in declaring it is my mother who is the Narcissist.
Are you prepared to produce another video (. Blog / Vlog. ) , whatever these new - age things are called these days to explain the genetic traits of Narcissism?
Similarly , to new couples, who wish to proceed further with their relationship but are unsure of the genetic suitability for producing ‘ healthy ‘ children in the future....
I have only heard of such steps in the US. Basically ‘ tests ‘ are conducted for both prospective parents , to ascertain whether their prospective / future children will be risk- free from genetic mutations , which could possibly result in hereditary cancers, Autism or other Neurological Conditions / Disabilities / Cognitive functionality etc.....
On a personal level, I would be , for one thing, very grateful, but also I would wish to extend knowledge.
My reason may be entirely different from yours - I don’t wish to receive recognition. For me on a personal level, I find it quite frustrating and also frightening that so many of our children / young adults are our ‘ future ‘ ..... There are many who are illiterate, therefore, how are they expected to govern us?
I apologise to you and your other readers / subscribers if you feel I have strayed off topic. I am attempting at my personal level of learning of Narcissism and whether genetic predisposition may play a part.
I just find this an interesting prospect.
It is ‘ your fault ‘ ( HG TUDOR ) for suggesting genetics. 😊
Excellent session, as always. I have a question. Many empaths are raised in the exact environments you've described as well, and by narcissistic parents. Why or how are empaths produced from this, rather than (or in addition to) narcissists?
I still can't put my finger on the Narcissists issue...
This is not aberrant. You survived in a hostile environment as you were meant to. We all develop coping mechanisms that make us difficult to deal with. Some turn the harm they cause on themselves, some turn it on others. Both must be overcome. As children we have no control, and worse, we are unable to make our parents wrong. We all have this amazing, extremely valuable and sought after shining thing inside of us called a soul. Even when you were a child your soul was powerful. This powerful soul made decisions for your survival when you were a child, but it made them from a child's reasoning. For instance, your parent did something to you, like abandoning, and your psyche was wounded, so your soul reasoned something maybe like, "I am unacceptable, therefore I must become someone acceptable," and locked up what you are calling "the creature" and splintered into another personality. You can look back, find these decisions and realize that the child's reasoning was in error, and then correct the error.All have disabilities that come out of our childhoods. Some people have problems keeping weight off, some have problems keeping weight on, some have dyslexia, some have MPD, some have ADD or schizophrenia or fetal alcohol syndrome or whatever. Narcissists have an emotion disability. They don't feel love. This disability should be overcome in the same manner as all of the others. And it can be. It isn't easy, but it is worth it.
Thanks brother I need you grandiose lol
So basically; by your theory everybody is or will be narcs. I say nonsense! You are right about any potential environment may
cause narcissism, but I’m not going to allow that type of thought process so that everyone is flipping out afraid of people
w/this mental state or anything much worse. You are not your past, or environment: The mind is very powerful You are what You
think you are 😉 Have a lovely evening HG ps I admire your confidence really I do.
He's on point on narcissism
Incorrect Erica Cane. You have misunderstood what I have said. I am not stating at all that everybody is or will be narcissists, not at all. Only those who have the genetic predisposition (therefore not everyone) AND the application of an environmental factor (again - not everyone) will become our kind. Also note how I referred to 1 in 6 - that is not everybody. Do listen carefully to avoid such misunderstanding.
@@KnowingtheNarcissist your on point bro
I don't think that is what he said AT ALL. Did we watch the same vodeo?
And don't forget, It's being pushed harder than ever.Just take a look at the Kardashians.And all of their Mindless Followers.Narcissism is the new Norm!
Wow.. thanks HG for that very in depth video, I recall you saying that your father was an empath and your mother was the narcissist.. if that's accurate, do you think that if sexual abuse didnt occur to you could you may have been an empath? Does having one parent who is narcissist heighten the risk of a child becoming one?
I'm the FIRST viewer! :-)
The REAL question: what created HG?
He told you...listen again!!
Listen to 14:57 and you will hear what happened to H.G
He had just written about it on www.narcsite.com the 3 part series is called "tears" check those out if you haven't already done so
That One Chris hg has talked about being b graded in his childhood.
I see and understand that your kind had suffered badly, to get what your kind are. But, why are your kind treating their partners (victims) so horrible ? We just wanted to love you . Can't you see that ? You punish the wrong people..
No it cannot be seen because of the altered perspective that is deployed by the majority of narcissists (95% of them)
@@KnowingtheNarcissist
It's so unbelievable sad...
But.., you( if I say "you" , I mean your kind)are adults now ! You have a choice (like everyone!) to change your behaviour !! You KNOW what you are doing to your " victims " ! You don't want to change..
What about the borderlines?
HG I was abused in every way you explained but never the golden child what is your opinion of how I turned out on the higher end of the empathic spectrum I do go supernova when pushed to far , and my brothers became very narcissistic my older brother especially he was abused and the golden child my younger brother I protected from my mothers abuse and her focus would always turn to me I was definitely her primary source I could handle so much more than the boys it would go on till she was exhausted usually weeks sexually mentally emotionally sleep deprivation physically abuse she used everything you can think of I was refused a formal education I taught myself how to read write and maths I read all the time I have a thirst for knowledge I finally got out of these relationships largely because of you and I am grateful for that however I still attract narcissists and have a unique ability to bring that asshole out in them there must be a way to deter them I see others staying in their good graces indefinitely
You don’t have the genetic disposition.
Actually when it comes to genetics I definitely do my family has many more narcissists than empaths the abuse I got was from my mother father and brothers my extended family as well the only people who was empathic was my grandfather he protected me as much as possible but he died when I was 10
veronique jones That means out of your entire family, you’re counted among the lucky ones who ended up not genetically predisposed. Your other family members’ Narcissism doesn’t guarantee your own genetic predisposition, it means the genetic odds were stacked in favor of you becoming another Narc but you ended up beating those odds.
I want to hear about why you personally became a narcissist
Wow I wish I was the fucking narcissist for once!
😔😢😔
Sonnet 94
Bunch of excuses!!! CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS DO NOT PUT BLAME AND PAIN TO OTHERS WHOM ONLY LOOKED TO LOVE YOU AT SOME POINT...
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is permanent. They are stuck this way for life.
Generational sin...
1st
Narcissist I win ha ha