We will defeat these evil narcissistic people!!! I don't have time to catch the person impersonating you at least today but man, little narcissists gonna get it bad this summer, they should be playing "The Last of the Mohicans" theme (good song, terrible movie) for themselves!
Leave a narc ASAP. The longer you stay, the more you lose yourself. It will drive you crazy. Love yourself enough to choose you and your sanity. It is not worth it. No amount of money can pay for your mental struggles. It is difficult to go back to your happy old self once u lose it to a narcissist. They are not good for you. Please choose yourself, love yourself. Please don't torture yourself. Life is short.
It's a journey of self Love. It's hard to get back to you because you don't recognize yourself anymore, you don't trust yourself anymore. You're paralyzed by panic and anxiety. You have to push yourself to do things you once loved. It's so important to be indifferent from the unhealthy people in your life, distance as much as possible. Get back in touch with what lights up your soul, push yourself to do that little by little. I'm currently on this journey. Sending LOVE to you all💖💖💖
I just RAN from a 6 month long relationship because the gas lighting just started! He was charming and generous and out of nowhere the gaslighting and stonewalling began. My adult children thought he was very nice and were thrilled that I had someone new in my life. He just couldn't keep the mask up any longer and as soon as I saw it slip I thought it was a mistake but then it happened over and over again.😢 I did not stick around for any more abuse. I addressed it head on and ended the relationship! Of course he tried to act confused and like he was the victim. Thank you Ladies! If it wasn't for this and the Dr's channel I would not have been prepared for this and I probably would have got sucked into that cycle.
I had this too. I was so scared I couldn’t see him any more after he turned on me again, swearing at me, taking my phone and keys so I couldn’t drive home. I still have ptsd symptoms after it. I nearly died of fear.
"If I was just better, prettier, smarter, like everyone else I would be lovable" was the loop tape for most of my life. And the Narcissists knew that vulnerability and weaponized it . It's so comforting to hear someone else in the world had the same mental tape running.
Stop thinking that you can't move out and leave the narssistic relationship. I stayed 24 yrs believing that. Finally I did last month on July 15th. It's still not easy as I'm going through the effects of trauma bond that I didn't think will have a great big impact but I'm going through that phase of no choice of my own. The feeling of leaving my entire life behind and starting over is uncontrollably bittersweet. It feels like mourning my truth which is still hard to accept. All I want to say is that if I could move on my own with just my savings and my own income in Bay Area, CA, you can do it wheverever you are as well. Just be done holding yourself back. It's better than dying a little everyday.
You are dying a little everyday champion.. dying of the not you...the old you is not you....everyday we change for the better....let me tell you something. You look amazing....respect is everything...water and rest is the truth. Salute
@@user-lu7np4cg1t congrats. We did it. Im sure the painful and bittersweet moments come and go but we'll be ok. Like on this day, 3 yrs ago, we renewed our vows in Mexico. It was love bombing 101 but it was a beautiful moment between the 2 of us until the 3rd day when he's family started gaslighting him and making fun of us which completely stole his mood. He's a vulnerable narcissistic and I still feel so bad for him.
15 years here, it's taken my almost 7 to feel semi normal again. NO CONTACT, blocking and moving on is the only way. They are INCAPABLE of LOVE. Good Rids
@@user-lu7np4cg1t congrats and I wish you all the best as well. Sending you hugs for your healing journey. Trauma bond is real. I woke up crying this morning. We renewed our vows on this date , 3 yrs ago in Cancun. The memories had me balling.
Best line so far - true love in a relationship is that we are the custodians of each others vulnerabilities and wounds. ... we listen and pay attention and are very careful with those vulnerabilities. So inciteful and best definition of love I have ever heard.
The fact that you still have doubts about your work is proof of how deep a person can be affected by narcs. I can confirm 100% that you know what the hell you're talking about lol you're the best I've seen on this topic
A lot of the people marauding around trying to meet people in the older singles market, are people who have been left because they were such bad partners. So, be cautious, very cautious.
I really respect Dr. Romani, I discovered her in the midst of my toxic marriage. Yes, she's absolutely right, it's not my fault that it's raining and I get wet. However, the next time it rains, it's on me to grab the umbrella and use it. Reading other authors that opened my eyes that I DID have agency over my life and who was in it. That I did have some soul searching to do to understand myself and how I got to where I was and then commit to getting myself out. Because no one was going to save me. I don't believe my ex was a narcissist, probably just very avoidant, but the emotional abuse and pain I felt as a result was very real. But I had to choose myself and take my focus off my ex husband and put it on me. That is when I took ownership over my life and stopped giving up my agency.
Look at Dr. Ramani looking all casual-relaxed and beautiful. I never tire of her speaking about this subject. I learn so much about myself and relationships from her.
There's even earlier signs than that, pay attention to the questions they ask during the "honeymoon" phase, in the very beginning of a relationship, whether its intimate or just a friendship. This is when they are pouring on the charm to snare you, but at the same time they're sizing up your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to trigger you with and exploit later.
Yes I agree! The vague conversations yet instant attachment words. It's like they radiate at the same frequency! Instant judgment as well with the same self righteousness too.
The narcissist might even let you think that you still have some autonomy and gives you good days with less arguing, and the words you do crave, but ultimately they’re studying you and what you’re attached to so that they can eventually take it away.
I agree! Then when you walk away from everything because they have taken it away they play victim like they're entitled to possessing us as if we're mere toys or objects. Like we don't have a right to leave or make sovereign decisions.
My firm believe, and heard it from dr. Ramani before, if you get that gut feeling or funny feeling about someone that something is off, end it. Short term gain is way better than long term pain.
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This I Never Saw This Coming I Was Involved With A Highly Malignant Narcissist. He Destroyed My Life My Health My Self Confidence He Destroyed My Self Esteem.He Was Malicious Very Abusive Emotionally. He Destroyed Me By Giving Me Months And Yrs Of The Silent Treatment..Im Severely Trauma Bonded To This Monster..
I am so sorry for what you are up against. These people set out to destroy you because deep down they know, particularly with an empath they despise and are jealous of. The Emoaths sense of healthy self, riles the narc because they know their Fakery , Fantastical BS Mask is the opposite of what they admire and wish in themselves. They understandably carry alot of Shame because they s**t on so many people. They look for Danger and threat because danger and threat have been their makeup for years. Imagine pathologically lying for years and then comparing yourself to your healthy rival. There would have to be Shame, especially when caught out 😢
When I first started dating my c narc 43 yrs ago , he would tell me about his toxic mothers mind games but I didn’t give it much thought …: now I see the same games played on my and others . This is definitely generational .. my brother in law is king of gaslighting 😵💫
This is reminding me of what I walked away from and how grateful I am that I don’t have to live in that maze anymore 🙏💃💜 Mediation date next month 🙌. It’s still a process! Today I am in gratitude and excited about my future!
whenever I shared good news with my ex husband he would give me an insincere “good job” without even looking at me when I was sick he would go to the bar and didn’t want to deal with me-when I experienced my first miscarriage and had to go to the hospital for a DNC procedure he couldn’t leave his minimum wage job to support me or be with me.
Wow wow I’m reading your messages on Narcissistic. Checking my old Christian friend out. She very very giving sharing her blessing with me. Even open. Her door for me to move in her home. But I was not T all comfortable she got a month ! She will take your word turn around or use for her own glory. She controlling Thro her giving I’m uncomtable I can’t stay around her no lone period of time. She chestised me in front of my grand son I raised him up the lord say he was wrong because we had already discussed that matter i private I didn’t confront her No. I give it to God ; she a few days later fall on her butt in. Now begin to be quiet around her and not give her no amonition pray
Love your channel Lisa and have learned so much from Dr. Ramani. I was married to a narcissist for 8 years off and on and now in a bad relationship again. Not saying they are narc. just do not communicate and shut me down every time I have a question about our relationship. I am working on getting out. i have explained how I feel and no response. Goes days without any love or connecting. Then acts like everything is fine. Can't do it anymore. Maybe they are just toxic and not a narcissist. Either way , this resonated so much just knowing how unhealthy the relationship is. I cannot do this anymore. Thank you to the both of you. xo
Ghosting a narcissist for self-preservation is not really ghosting. It is called going no contact. It's like punching someone in their head is not really fighting them if it's done in order to stop them from beating your head with their fists after they physically attacked you prior to you punching them back. That is not an act of violence - that is an act of self-defense. Similarly, if you ghost someone because you don't like them and want to punish or change or influence them - that is 100% abuse. But, if you ghost (go no contact) because you can't bear the pain of being manipulated, threatened, gaslighted, or blackmailed any longer, that's self-defense move and not abuse.
After dating a manipulative narcissist last year and detaching from him , I 100% agree with everything that Dr Ramani is saying, books saved me coz i read a lot , n thank god i detached after 3 months of hell & someone lying to me, manipulating me & using me , when he had a whole life and probably some mental health issues . Finally i listened to my instinct & just cut all ties. But that whole experience traumatized me & i would not wish it on anyone .
One person looking after the finances is not a good sign. The man dominating driving the car is another big controlling behaviour. Many women in their 50, 60s, do not like driving long distances or do not have the confidence to do so.
He actually tried to use our 9yr old son to see if “Daddy could come home”, 6 months after he abandoned our marriage for the new supply, a “friend”who knew me and our son! 🤡 They have no, too low. 🤮The best revenge is letting the other woman keep them! 🎉 Thank you for all your great content!
From everything I’ve heard or know about narcissistic people, it seems like they should all be left alone and no one should be in relationship or be in marriage with them or else your life will be ruined. What if you are in love with a narcissistic person? How do one handle it?
I'm watching this after dealing with this for 5 years and it only took the last year of our relationship and even after to realize this was actually who he was lol. we broke up 3 weeks ago and this video has been really helpful in my healing journey.
Dr R & Lisa...❤ this was a beautiful and warm conversation to listen to. I wish I had the words to tell you how this added to my new foundation of hope and growth.
Sick how Dr.Romani just told how she still had voices telling her she isn't good enough. If she had a broken leg she would get flowers, but just hearing her say that breaks my heart. How one person can do so much damage. I truly hope there gets more awareness on emotional abuse. People like them are true heroes bringing awareness and supporting.❤ I also had my experience with emotional abuse, still trying to detach and get rid of these vicious voices:' not good enough' Right now a friend of mine is dealing with an emotional abusive man, she wants to break up but he manipulates her into staying. I give her all the advice.. She is to kind.. i'm affraid this will impact her self esteem as much as it did with mine. Every week they argue, he calls her a 'b' then when she calls him out, he manipulates her into believing its her fault. I was ( and stil recovering) from this situation. Easy to give advice to her but i know how hard it is to leave. To anyone reading this and dealing with emotional abuse: it's not your fault. Inform yourself and leave. Everyone is enough and worthy, don't let others insecurity bring you down. ❤
I'm glad your friend has someone let me you in her corner! It can be sooo tricky trying to help someone to notice their partner's abusive behavior, because usually abusers are skilled at slowly separating their partner from friends and family :(
She will when she's ready. You're a good friend just remember to love yourself enough too and not allow her situation to siphon your energy too❤ self care first and friends from overflow❤❤❤
Married for 13 years to a covert narcissist. He was able to manipulate multiple therapists, keeping me in the relationship for years longer than I should have been. I finally discovered his double life (affairs, escorts, gambling, drugs, financial abuse, etc) and his mask was off. Years of gaslighting, bread-crumbing, lies and manipulation. An untrained therapist caused much more damage than good. I just wish I had this information 20 years ago! Thankfully I do now!
Since professionals like to blame both parties for the occasional and on going emotional abuse in a narcissistic relationship, I resort to back lashing the narcissist as and when needed, describe the scenario, even if the narcissist spaces out and move on. Case closed and I feel a sense of relief because it feels like I let out my frustrations! Did I damage my relationship with the narcissist, may be, do I care, NO. Thank you Dr. Ramani. 🙏☺
With cheaters, you're dammed if you do, and dammed if you don't. They will blame you no matter what. Don't beat yourself up for an answer. People cheat because that's who they are in character no matter how perfect or imperfect you are.
When I showed my parents my Bachelor's degree diploma from ASU, my mom immediately asked, "Is it Cum Laude? Did I ever tell you I graduated Cum Laude?"
My mom is like this because she dropped out of college. I finished my undergraduate and graduate with a newborn. When I recently got accepted into UCLA for an HR law program, she was like, “What is UCLA?” My mom was born and raised in Los Angeles…STOP IT! 😂
Yes the unacceptable digs were the worst over everything until it was flat out nothing I ever did was good enough. Does the voice ever go away? Or is it always going to be this hard to battle? You're right about the good news. I was asked if I slept with my boss to get the promotion. Because apparently he didn't think I earned it or whatever personal insecure reason.
But how do I not blame myself for staying so long even after I know what this relationship is I know he will never be anything else but what he is and I still have the hope when he gives promises
Stop lying to yourself by believing a liar. You are worthy and the person you love never existed, it's just a character in a fictional story. It's not your fault what other people do. However it is your choice to change it. It's never too late and you'll find the peace purely addictive in the best possible way. Sending you love you deserve it❤❤❤❤
I wasn't allowed to go to the dr alone when he was there. He was gun ho to be able to say he went to the dr with me and even tried to push me into foot surgery that I didn't want to do. However it is because he didn't like to look at my "ugly bunion" However told me to get a friend to come take care of me because he would be busy when in town lol when we lived together btw lol
Are narcissistic people capable of being in love with someone and if they do, should they be given a chance or trusted? Should they never be considered for relationship at all?
I often wanted to ask “ can a narc. person ever change “ or I guess I want to ask” is it ever possible to remain in relationship or be in marriage with a narc. person and not be ruined by them.
Well well after thirty years of marriage I’m calling it quits, I took a BIG step by getting an injunction and it was the best thing I could have ever done,the court had him removed in May and he can’t return until June of 2024 in the meantime I’m getting myself together, Lawyers, paper work and ALL necessities for our up coming Divorce I’m so ready, because I have so many plans and things that I WANT to do, I’m eighty and I want the rest of my LIFE to be happy and doing what I want and when I want. God bless all that’s going through this nightmare just take the time and plan and you will see that there is a way out❤
I was told I had too many rules lol! We were dating just shy of almost a month. He was in love with me wanted me to tell him I loved him and asking if I was his girl 😮I really started to like him then when he didn’t get his way he called me out my name and flipped! Even yelled at his dog😬
My ex did know how to break down how he loved me and used it as a tactic to gaslight me. I know it's not ok to label people but would that be more sociopath then?...
I haven't seen any concrete signs so far. The signs she lists can go either way. The people could actually be bad, or they could be warning of bad family members. I need something concrete to work with. Not telling your partner about the good and bad stuff is a sure-fire way to ruin a relationship. Also, telling them last makes them think you don't care about them. Telling people to be dishonest is bad. If you are sure you are in a narcissistic relationship, the best option is to leave. Lying should not be an option.
Good point....Americans listen up.....today's the day you pack up and leave....or you end it verbally with decency or respect and thoroughly.....don't call me baby.......turn up Cher immediately
I also blame myself for everything. Was very hard on myself all my life and quick to make other people's problems mine to fix, or else I felt like I would be abandoned. I burnt out so badly and none of the people I had moved mountains for even cared. They were upset that I was no longer moving their mountains! I decided to pull away and work on myself, learned that I had major childhood wounds of neglect and scapegoating that primed me for people pleasing. I am a dazzling sign with flashing lights and airhorns screaming "Please take advantage of me!" to narcissistic personalities. I really had to learn to stop. Stop apologizing, stop accomodating, stop helping without firm boundaries. My life improved incredibly once I let go of shame and realised I don't owe anyone anything and I can say no.
Lisa. Love the content. Feedback. Please stop saying 'frickin'. It is a substitute for the 'other' word. I think it is disrespectful in front of the Dr. and others watching. Thanks
I love that Lisa demonstrates empathy and compassion when Dr. Ramani shares her knowledge and experience with her in this video. This demonstrates that there is kindness and understanding in people. Now I know there are resources available. This supports my mindfulness therapy process. Thank you Lisa for what you believe in to support women. 🩷
Earlier comment - see below - hit me between the eyes: ‘you will never feel connection’! How’ve incisive… ends the mind bending confusion that includes self blame! Just safely get out - or try to have them leave before you lose yourself to the mental cruelty. Stick with Dr Ramani as she will help you…. I cant thank her enough… 🦘
Memnoon. Memnoon means when you can't tell the difference between the giver and the receiver because they are both so very happy. AWOMAN! ❤️💙😁👍🩷😎💚♾️🦋😍✌️
WARNING: I will never ask for your contact info in the comments section, that is someone impersonating me!
Had .u h difficulty . They moved so there's that
A comment here by someone named Lewis Carter is a scam.
We will defeat these evil narcissistic people!!! I don't have time to catch the person impersonating you at least today but man, little narcissists gonna get it bad this summer, they should be playing "The Last of the Mohicans" theme (good song, terrible movie) for themselves!
Leave a narc ASAP. The longer you stay, the more you lose yourself. It will drive you crazy. Love yourself enough to choose you and your sanity. It is not worth it.
No amount of money can pay for your mental struggles. It is difficult to go back to your happy old self once u lose it to a narcissist. They are not good for you.
Please choose yourself, love yourself.
Please don't torture yourself. Life is short.
word
Most definitely very well said 🤘
Yes. It's not whether you leave or not. It's when and how you leave. 🏃♀💨💨
Thank U 😊 😅😮😂
It's a journey of self Love. It's hard to get back to you because you don't recognize yourself anymore, you don't trust yourself anymore. You're paralyzed by panic and anxiety. You have to push yourself to do things you once loved. It's so important to be indifferent from the unhealthy people in your life, distance as much as possible. Get back in touch with what lights up your soul, push yourself to do that little by little. I'm currently on this journey. Sending LOVE to you all💖💖💖
The mental gymnastics and eggshell walking that is required for a person to survive in a relationship with a narcissist is exhausting!
I just RAN from a 6 month long relationship because the gas lighting just started! He was charming and generous and out of nowhere the gaslighting and stonewalling began. My adult children thought he was very nice and were thrilled that I had someone new in my life. He just couldn't keep the mask up any longer and as soon as I saw it slip I thought it was a mistake but then it happened over and over again.😢 I did not stick around for any more abuse. I addressed it head on and ended the relationship! Of course he tried to act confused and like he was the victim.
Thank you Ladies! If it wasn't for this and the Dr's channel I would not have been prepared for this and I probably would have got sucked into that cycle.
It usually takes 6 mns for the act of a person to drop. You did good!!!
I had this too. I was so scared I couldn’t see him any more after he turned on me again, swearing at me, taking my phone and keys so I couldn’t drive home. I still have ptsd symptoms after it. I nearly died of fear.
"If I was just better, prettier, smarter, like everyone else I would be lovable" was the loop tape for most of my life. And the Narcissists knew that vulnerability and weaponized it .
It's so comforting to hear someone else in the world had the same mental tape running.
The lack is within the narcissist. They can’t feel connected to anyone so no matter what you do, you won’t reach them.
It’s my tape too 😢, but I’m learning
Stop thinking that you can't move out and leave the narssistic relationship. I stayed 24 yrs believing that. Finally I did last month on July 15th. It's still not easy as I'm going through the effects of trauma bond that I didn't think will have a great big impact but I'm going through that phase of no choice of my own. The feeling of leaving my entire life behind and starting over is uncontrollably bittersweet. It feels like mourning my truth which is still hard to accept. All I want to say is that if I could move on my own with just my savings and my own income in Bay Area, CA, you can do it wheverever you are as well. Just be done holding yourself back. It's better than dying a little everyday.
You are dying a little everyday champion.. dying of the not you...the old you is not you....everyday we change for the better....let me tell you something. You look amazing....respect is everything...water and rest is the truth. Salute
same amount of years, but I left on July 28th... you beat me by a few weeks. wish you the best on new phase of life. 🎉
@@user-lu7np4cg1t congrats. We did it. Im sure the painful and bittersweet moments come and go but we'll be ok. Like on this day, 3 yrs ago, we renewed our vows in Mexico. It was love bombing 101 but it was a beautiful moment between the 2 of us until the 3rd day when he's family started gaslighting him and making fun of us which completely stole his mood. He's a vulnerable narcissistic and I still feel so bad for him.
15 years here, it's taken my almost 7 to feel semi normal again. NO CONTACT, blocking and moving on is the only way. They are INCAPABLE of LOVE. Good Rids
@@user-lu7np4cg1t congrats and I wish you all the best as well. Sending you hugs for your healing journey. Trauma bond is real. I woke up crying this morning. We renewed our vows on this date , 3 yrs ago in Cancun. The memories had me balling.
Best line so far - true love in a relationship is that we are the custodians of each others vulnerabilities and wounds. ... we listen and pay attention and are very careful with those vulnerabilities.
So inciteful and best definition of love I have ever heard.
Narcs are like the spiders that live in their own web of lies and trap preys
My ex told me literally " I am going to put the spider web around you "
Glad you got yourself out than “sticking around”
That's a great description!
The fact that you still have doubts about your work is proof of how deep a person can be affected by narcs. I can confirm 100% that you know what the hell you're talking about lol you're the best I've seen on this topic
Love these ladies....respect and protect
Post divorce, I met only narcissists so now am a lot happier on my own 🙂
A lot of the people marauding around trying to meet people in the older singles market, are people who have been left because they were such bad partners. So, be cautious, very cautious.
Water and rest my people's....we change for the better everyday....life gets better everyday...believe it
That is where I am finding myself now. I keep attracting narcissists and the pain of figuring it out doesn't feel worth the gamble. I'm done.
Me too. Makes the risk higher than the reward at the moment!
I really respect Dr. Romani, I discovered her in the midst of my toxic marriage. Yes, she's absolutely right, it's not my fault that it's raining and I get wet. However, the next time it rains, it's on me to grab the umbrella and use it. Reading other authors that opened my eyes that I DID have agency over my life and who was in it. That I did have some soul searching to do to understand myself and how I got to where I was and then commit to getting myself out. Because no one was going to save me. I don't believe my ex was a narcissist, probably just very avoidant, but the emotional abuse and pain I felt as a result was very real. But I had to choose myself and take my focus off my ex husband and put it on me. That is when I took ownership over my life and stopped giving up my agency.
Look at Dr. Ramani looking all casual-relaxed and beautiful. I never tire of her speaking about this subject. I learn so much about myself and relationships from her.
Love these ladies. Respect and protect
Same here and she does look amazing! ❤
There's even earlier signs than that, pay attention to the questions they ask during the "honeymoon" phase, in the very beginning of a relationship, whether its intimate or just a friendship. This is when they are pouring on the charm to snare you, but at the same time they're sizing up your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to trigger you with and exploit later.
Yes I agree! The vague conversations yet instant attachment words. It's like they radiate at the same frequency! Instant judgment as well with the same self righteousness too.
The narcissist might even let you think that you still have some autonomy and gives you good days with less arguing, and the words you do crave, but ultimately they’re studying you and what you’re attached to so that they can eventually take it away.
I agree! Then when you walk away from everything because they have taken it away they play victim like they're entitled to possessing us as if we're mere toys or objects. Like we don't have a right to leave or make sovereign decisions.
My firm believe, and heard it from dr. Ramani before, if you get that gut feeling or funny feeling about someone that something is off, end it.
Short term gain is way better than long term pain.
I’m a survivor of narc guardians and everything she said is totally right on, I’m sure it will help a ton of people 🤘
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This I Never Saw This Coming I Was Involved With A Highly Malignant Narcissist.
He Destroyed My Life My Health My Self Confidence He Destroyed My Self Esteem.He Was Malicious Very Abusive Emotionally.
He Destroyed Me By Giving Me Months And Yrs Of The Silent Treatment..Im Severely Trauma Bonded To This Monster..
I am so sorry for what you are up against. These people set out to destroy you because deep down they know, particularly with an empath they despise and are jealous of. The Emoaths sense of healthy self, riles the narc because they know their Fakery , Fantastical BS Mask is the opposite of what they admire and wish in themselves. They understandably carry alot of Shame because they s**t on so many people. They look for Danger and threat because danger and threat have been their makeup for years. Imagine pathologically lying for years and then comparing yourself to your healthy rival. There would have to be Shame, especially when caught out 😢
They are monsters
When I first started dating my c narc 43 yrs ago , he would tell me about his toxic mothers mind games but I didn’t give it much thought …: now I see the same games played on my and others . This is definitely generational .. my brother in law is king of gaslighting 😵💫
It’s “I don’t want to be more for you. I will lie lie lie to only get my needs met!”
Dr Ramani you have saved my life. Thankyou for helping us understand! Every word makes so much sense that it hurts 😅
I found Dr Ramani's book "It's Not You" to be accurate, interesting, and healing.
the less said to these people...the better!! (good or bad news). you're constantly walkin on eggshells
This is reminding me of what I walked away from and how grateful I am that I don’t have to live in that maze anymore 🙏💃💜
Mediation date next month 🙌. It’s still a process! Today I am in gratitude and excited about my future!
whenever I shared good news with my ex husband he would give me an insincere “good job” without even looking at me when I was sick he would go to the bar and didn’t want to deal with me-when I experienced my first miscarriage and had to go to the hospital for a DNC procedure he couldn’t leave his minimum wage job to support me or be with me.
I experienced the same thing!
My narc ex was working a minimum wage job that he couldn't call off work to be with me during that terrible event.
Ejecto seato cuz. He's outta there
Ejecto seato cuz. He's outta there
Wow wow I’m reading your messages on Narcissistic. Checking my old Christian friend out. She very very giving sharing her blessing with me. Even open. Her door for me to move in her home. But I was not T all comfortable she got a month ! She will take your word turn around or use for her own glory. She controlling Thro her giving I’m uncomtable I can’t stay around her no lone period of time. She chestised me in front of my grand son I raised him up the lord say he was wrong because we had already discussed that matter i private I didn’t confront her No. I give it to God ; she a few days later fall on her butt in. Now begin to be quiet around her and not give her no amonition pray
Please list from #1-20 -50 how to idenityfity a Narcissist person please
Love your channel Lisa and have learned so much from Dr. Ramani. I was married to a narcissist for 8 years off and on and now in a bad relationship again. Not saying they are narc. just do not communicate and shut me down every time I have a question about our relationship. I am working on getting out. i have explained how I feel and no response. Goes days without any love or connecting. Then acts like everything is fine. Can't do it anymore. Maybe they are just toxic and not a narcissist. Either way , this resonated so much just knowing how unhealthy the relationship is. I cannot do this anymore. Thank you to the both of you. xo
Ghosting a narcissist for self-preservation is not really ghosting. It is called going no contact.
It's like punching someone in their head is not really fighting them if it's done in order to stop them from beating your head with their fists after they physically attacked you prior to you punching them back. That is not an act of violence - that is an act of self-defense.
Similarly, if you ghost someone because you don't like them and want to punish or change or influence them - that is 100% abuse. But, if you ghost (go no contact) because you can't bear the pain of being manipulated, threatened, gaslighted, or blackmailed any longer, that's self-defense move and not abuse.
Exactly 💯 I feel like crossing boundaries as in hacking a device is the same as burglary to my home and I will go no contact quick 100%
After dating a manipulative narcissist last year and detaching from him , I 100% agree with everything that Dr Ramani is saying, books saved me coz i read a lot , n thank god i detached after 3 months of hell & someone lying to me, manipulating me & using me , when he had a whole life and probably some mental health issues . Finally i listened to my instinct & just cut all ties. But that whole experience traumatized me & i would not wish it on anyone .
Real True Friends are hard to find! I love watching both of you in this relationship! 🎉
One person looking after the finances is not a good sign. The man dominating driving the car is another big controlling behaviour. Many women in their 50, 60s, do not like driving long distances or do not have the confidence to do so.
Old tradition.....
@@jimmyjamessac7171 Tradition or not , it encourages dependency.
He actually tried to use our 9yr old son to see if “Daddy could come home”, 6 months after he abandoned our marriage for the new supply, a “friend”who knew me and our son! 🤡 They have no, too low. 🤮The best revenge is letting the other woman keep them! 🎉 Thank you for all your great content!
This woman saves lives, she is unbelievably incredible, thank you Dr. R ♥️
From everything I’ve heard or know about narcissistic people, it seems like they should all be left alone and no one should be in relationship or be in marriage with them or else your life will be ruined. What if you are in love with a narcissistic person? How do one handle it?
Can't really love someone if you don't love yourself and if you're truly with a narc you don't love yourself and after long really won't.
omg narrating my life, I can related to 85% of almost everything your guest is saying. she is on point, learned a lot 🙏
Do all these guys go to the same narc training school? Seriously!
I don't know however seems they all have the same play book thankfully making them easier to spot now that I have experienced it!
I'm watching this after dealing with this for 5 years and it only took the last year of our relationship and even after to realize this was actually who he was lol. we broke up 3 weeks ago and this video has been really helpful in my healing journey.
Dr R & Lisa...❤ this was a beautiful and warm conversation to listen to.
I wish I had the words to tell you how this added to my new foundation of hope and growth.
Sick how Dr.Romani just told how she still had voices telling her she isn't good enough. If she had a broken leg she would get flowers, but just hearing her say that breaks my heart.
How one person can do so much damage. I truly hope there gets more awareness on emotional abuse.
People like them are true heroes bringing awareness and supporting.❤
I also had my experience with emotional abuse, still trying to detach and get rid of these vicious voices:' not good enough'
Right now a friend of mine is dealing with an emotional abusive man, she wants to break up but he manipulates her into staying. I give her all the advice.. She is to kind.. i'm affraid this will impact her self esteem as much as it did with mine. Every week they argue, he calls her a 'b' then when she calls him out, he manipulates her into believing its her fault.
I was ( and stil recovering) from this situation. Easy to give advice to her but i know how hard it is to leave.
To anyone reading this and dealing with emotional abuse: it's not your fault. Inform yourself and leave. Everyone is enough and worthy, don't let others insecurity bring you down.
❤
I'm glad your friend has someone let me you in her corner! It can be sooo tricky trying to help someone to notice their partner's abusive behavior, because usually abusers are skilled at slowly separating their partner from friends and family :(
Whoops "has someone like you"
She will when she's ready. You're a good friend just remember to love yourself enough too and not allow her situation to siphon your energy too❤ self care first and friends from overflow❤❤❤
Married for 13 years to a covert narcissist. He was able to manipulate multiple therapists, keeping me in the relationship for years longer than I should have been. I finally discovered his double life (affairs, escorts, gambling, drugs, financial abuse, etc) and his mask was off. Years of gaslighting, bread-crumbing, lies and manipulation. An untrained therapist caused much more damage than good. I just wish I had this information 20 years ago! Thankfully I do now!
I have awareness now so I see all of the red flags nobody can ever fool me again
Since professionals like to blame both parties for the occasional and on going emotional abuse in a narcissistic relationship, I resort to back lashing the narcissist as and when needed, describe the scenario, even if the narcissist spaces out and move on. Case closed and I feel a sense of relief because it feels like I let out my frustrations! Did I damage my relationship with the narcissist, may be, do I care, NO. Thank you Dr. Ramani. 🙏☺
Thank you 🙏 ❤ I woke up blaming myself….. honestly I’m grateful 🥲 for you both sharing your knowledge and wisdom 🧸
This is a gd video thx ladies
With cheaters, you're dammed if you do, and dammed if you don't. They will blame you no matter what. Don't beat yourself up for an answer.
People cheat because that's who they are in character no matter how perfect or imperfect you are.
This compilation was gold!!!
When I showed my parents my Bachelor's degree diploma from ASU, my mom immediately asked, "Is it Cum Laude? Did I ever tell you I graduated Cum Laude?"
Can you explain? I don't understand what you're talking about.
My mom is like this because she dropped out of college. I finished my undergraduate and graduate with a newborn. When I recently got accepted into UCLA for an HR law program, she was like, “What is UCLA?” My mom was born and raised in Los Angeles…STOP IT! 😂
This Dr. Helped me spot another with the conditional love part! Oh if you're this or that than you're worthy bs.
Lisa dresses so cute! ❤
Her style is so impeccable!
Lisa thank you to invite this beautiful doctor to show us the true life!💪✌️🌈🌹❤️🙏
Dr ramani is amazing i love her could listen to her all day
❤Thank you Ladies❤
great ... thank you for amazing conversations and Dr Ramani for school and therapy :)
Dr Ramani you're great and you're so good as a professional
Love Dr R appreciate her advice and vunerability❤i resonate 💯💯💯 after a lifetime of these relationships
1:18:08 It’s not love 💔it’s “I just want to take advantage of you”
Just terminated a lease with a toxic roommate that displayed narcisstic tendencies. 11 days later! No time for this.
Yes the unacceptable digs were the worst over everything until it was flat out nothing I ever did was good enough. Does the voice ever go away? Or is it always going to be this hard to battle? You're right about the good news. I was asked if I slept with my boss to get the promotion. Because apparently he didn't think I earned it or whatever personal insecure reason.
One of my relatives,told me is happy for me having like this boyfriend,despite I told something is not okay with xx
My Narcissistic dad
My narcissistic mother.
Soooo what are the 7 signs?
Omg i always thought my marraige was like a cult of two💯💯💯💯
But how do I not blame myself for staying so long even after I know what this relationship is I know he will never be anything else but what he is and I still have the hope when he gives promises
Stop lying to yourself by believing a liar. You are worthy and the person you love never existed, it's just a character in a fictional story. It's not your fault what other people do. However it is your choice to change it. It's never too late and you'll find the peace purely addictive in the best possible way. Sending you love you deserve it❤❤❤❤
Ye. Phase 1. Bye..
Causes Complex trauma
I love you for a NARC means it’s conditional.
I wasn't allowed to go to the dr alone when he was there. He was gun ho to be able to say he went to the dr with me and even tried to push me into foot surgery that I didn't want to do. However it is because he didn't like to look at my "ugly bunion" However told me to get a friend to come take care of me because he would be busy when in town lol when we lived together btw lol
Are narcissistic people capable of being in love with someone and if they do, should they be given a chance or trusted? Should they never be considered for relationship at all?
I often wanted to ask “ can a narc. person ever change “ or I guess I want to ask” is it ever possible to remain in relationship or be in marriage with a narc. person and not be ruined by them.
She said the behavior does not change so you must have radical acceptance or just leave.
wow she is so good. lve seen all those details.
Well well after thirty years of marriage I’m calling it quits, I took a BIG step by getting an injunction and it was the best thing I could have ever done,the court had him removed in May and he can’t return until June of 2024 in the meantime I’m getting myself together, Lawyers, paper work and ALL necessities for our up coming Divorce I’m so ready, because I have so many plans and things that I WANT to do, I’m eighty and I want the rest of my LIFE to be happy and doing what I want and when I want. God bless all that’s going through this nightmare just take the time and plan and you will see that there is a way out❤
Thank You!
You have to process it all before you can communicate. 22:34
I was told I had too many rules lol! We were dating just shy of almost a month. He was in love with me wanted me to tell him I loved him and asking if I was his girl 😮I really started to like him then when he didn’t get his way he called me out my name and flipped! Even yelled at his dog😬
35:30 1:44:43 1:57:42
College bullies
Dr. R how do I get in contact with you? My life has been dismantled by narcs. I can't do this anymore ❤
What was said @ the definition of “True Love”?
I can't find it now?
My ex did know how to break down how he loved me and used it as a tactic to gaslight me. I know it's not ok to label people but would that be more sociopath then?...
Also, it has been almost two years. Nov would have been.
Also, cannot say he loves me. Said it accidentally a couple of times almost in a joking manner. Has issues of all kinds for sure.
U r not doing a good job, you are saving people
I haven't seen any concrete signs so far. The signs she lists can go either way. The people could actually be bad, or they could be warning of bad family members. I need something concrete to work with. Not telling your partner about the good and bad stuff is a sure-fire way to ruin a relationship. Also, telling them last makes them think you don't care about them. Telling people to be dishonest is bad. If you are sure you are in a narcissistic relationship, the best option is to leave. Lying should not be an option.
You think you know eh
You looking for concrete signs or you listening for some
You looking for concrete signs or you listening for some
Good point....Americans listen up.....today's the day you pack up and leave....or you end it verbally with decency or respect and thoroughly.....don't call me baby.......turn up Cher immediately
What if the abuser has cancer ? 48:05
Mental illness or physical illness, it doesn't take away the fact that the abuser is a horrible human being 😖 Not the victim's problem.
Amen 14:07
I also blame myself for everything. Was very hard on myself all my life and quick to make other people's problems mine to fix, or else I felt like I would be abandoned. I burnt out so badly and none of the people I had moved mountains for even cared. They were upset that I was no longer moving their mountains! I decided to pull away and work on myself, learned that I had major childhood wounds of neglect and scapegoating that primed me for people pleasing. I am a dazzling sign with flashing lights and airhorns screaming "Please take advantage of me!" to narcissistic personalities. I really had to learn to stop. Stop apologizing, stop accomodating, stop helping without firm boundaries. My life improved incredibly once I let go of shame and realised I don't owe anyone anything and I can say no.
They should have Kelly Ann Conway on, her husband was clearly an awful narcissist.
Jesus
😊
1:02
Lisa. Love the content. Feedback. Please stop saying 'frickin'. It is a substitute for the 'other' word. I think it is disrespectful in front of the Dr. and others watching. Thanks
I love that Lisa demonstrates empathy and compassion when Dr. Ramani shares her knowledge and experience with her in this video. This demonstrates that there is kindness and understanding in people. Now I know there are resources available. This supports my mindfulness therapy process. Thank you Lisa for what you believe in to support women. 🩷
Earlier comment - see below - hit me between the eyes: ‘you will never feel connection’! How’ve incisive… ends the mind bending confusion that includes self blame! Just safely get out - or try to have them leave before you lose yourself to the mental cruelty. Stick with Dr Ramani as she will help you…. I cant thank her enough… 🦘
fear= fake lies.
LOVE = REAL TRUTH! AWOMAN ❤🩷😎💚👍♾️🦋✌️
Memnoon. Memnoon means when you can't tell the difference between the giver and the receiver because they are both so very happy. AWOMAN! ❤️💙😁👍🩷😎💚♾️🦋😍✌️
What was said @ the definition of “True Love”?
I can't find it now?