God awful pickup lines
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 พ.ย. 2022
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edited by nina: / @lxurel
----------------------------
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Help
Nah
No
Im a buy one right now🙂
No
"Do you like sleeping?"
"yeah."
"I do too. We should do it together sometime"
that's the best i've got
It's very good can i steal it please thank you
What if I don’t like sleeping
@@fart63 HOW
Bro that is so smooth...
“On separate beds”
I think the agonizing silence after each sentence with the Herseys kiss guy shortened my lifespan
It was so cringe and creepy
I'm not even a girl and I creeped out by that
It so funny because a FEW of his videos are kinda cute but 99.99% of them are just 😟… any half of his comments love it rfinrfjifr
he always looks like he’s on the verge of tears in every single video like- idk how to explain it but he just looks like he’s about to cry or in the middle of crying and just wiped his face but you can still see the tears in his eyes
@@cloudy4379 THIS
Kwite's go to phrase for bad is "God awful".
I mean… It’s a good descriptor
@@JackWrath-sq4bd 3 minutes and 6 seconds of why you have no friends th-cam.com/video/mCfYi7634rU/w-d-xo.html
WAW 2 sussy links!
He’s from Ohio
@@urmomgettingsmashed2706 Ohio slayy 👴💅
Kwite: I'm 5'5. That's tiny, fun-sized, minuscule, a pathetic excuse of a man, whatever you want to call it.
Me, a man who's 5'4: I'm him but his genetics were more merciful
High five! I'm 4'9, we can start a club!
@@shortea7892 Heyo! ✋
@@shortea7892 I'm pretty sure you're dwarf tier. Just bulk up, grow a bushy beard and you're rolling.
@@shortea7892 you're gonna have some people with a very specific fetish thirsting at you you know
Me who’s a 4’10 trans guy 😭
being a Kwite fan is like being locked in a glass box with live rats
I like rats though
@@recyclingbin7426 didn't say it was a bad thing
except the rats don't bite you, they just bully kwite
@@yourlocaltherapistfriend5091 maybe we're the rats and Kwite's the one locked in the box
@@lunatunes5094 that sounds about right
“Your skin is so pretty, I could wear it as a fur coat.”
That’s the worse I’ve got with the attempt to *try* to flirt with them.
Bonus points if you're Ed Gein lmao
Not sure if this counts but I once had a 30 year old man tell me, "You're so pretty, did you eat like ten barbies or something?" Mmm yes, because I love the feeling of plastic cutting my throat when I eat. Oh and I'd like to mention that he tried to gaslight me into thinking I was not, in fact a minor and that it was ok for him to be flirting with me. I still laugh at that to this day.
mf really said “nooo you’re not a minorrrr you aren’t under 18 if the cops don’t find outttt 😁😁”
@@wozaow really💀
i too enjoy eating plastic
@@cryingchild4209 omg twinzies🤭🤞
I'm sorry, he tried to what now 😭💀
the pickup line I invented:
“hey, girl, are you a Buzzfeed quiz? cause I wanna figure out which Disney princess you are based on your favorite spreads on sandwiches”
Damn
ohhhhh I get it
wait what
huh..
I hate that I just did that quiz a few hours ago
“Admitting that I’ve consumed hundred of hours of FNAF lore is the third hardest thing I’ve had to come out as”
Seems like we have the whole set of ‘things Kwite has had to come out as’:
-Bisexual
-Furry
-FNAF fan
Aren't those the same things?
Oh fnaf aint a secret, hes got a thing going on with springtrap
Hardest thing: furry
Second hardest thing: 5'5"
Third hardest thing: FNAF enjoyer
Easiest thing: bisexual
He also came out as a fanfic reader
@@silverdandylmao I forget about the spring trap stuff until I check the comments, and I am cursed with it again.
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?"
works every time
insert some joke about "pickup" lines and having to "pick up" an unconscious body. I am too lazy to make it myself
I'm sorry, did you steal that from Leverage or am I trippin'?
I feel like my Hollywood Undead radar is going off, but I'm not too sure...
"are you a microwave? Bcs MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMH MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMH" Is the best of all
W
*beep*
*beep*
*BEEP*
My microwave can sing bambis parts in thearchy
Ty ty that was mine
“I’m 5’5, that’s tiny...” and that hurt. - A person who is definitely not 5’3.
Me, at 4'11: *Chuckles*
Me, at 5’1 : Giggles 🤭
Me at 3’6 snickers
Me at 2’4: snorts
Me at 5'10: Soccer go brrrr
Bro I swear to god kwite always has some of the most out of pocket quotes ever
Kwotes*
@Chad 007 nah dawg 🤔🍆💀
@Chad 007 ah yes, hypocrisy
Congrats on the sponsor, but I will say that chemical exfoliants like salicylic acid or BHA are better for your skin than 'manual' exfoliants, because those can cause mircotears on your skin, over time causing your skin to get worse than when you started.
(Source: used to be a teen with awful acne)
As long as you use manual exfoliants infrequently, they’re just fine- using them on the daily/bi-daily is when an issue occurs. Chemical exfoliants can sometimes be more irritating, so it just depends on the person! ~a fellow past acne victim
I just feel like you should not buy anything that is advertised on TH-cam. If they got the money it is probably a scam, if it was good they would not need to advertise it and I also want to spite them just to feel like I have more controll on my life than I actually do.
yeah, in my experience physical exfoliants never even work that well anyways? whereas if you get a chemical exfoliant you can usually see results pretty quickly. just a personal anecdote and it likely depends on the person, but it's something to keep in mind.
I swear he reused the same sponsor clip
@@speed9553 he literally did! i was waiting for someone to point it out 😭 kinda funny and on brand for him tho tbh
I have a very bad pickup line that you may have to do research to understand…. “Are you radium? Because you make my jaw drop”
*oh no-*
im stealing this.
BRO I'M DEAD 💀
@@joshc5613 so is Eben
BRUHHHH 💀💀💀💀
I went through a phase of looking up sewer-slide based pick up lines lol. "Are you death? Because I long for your sweet embrace." "Are you a gravestone? Because I want you on top of me." "You remind me of a noose; you take my breath away, and I can't wait to hang out." etc
That’s not even the worst thing people have said
bit off topic but I hate how people say sewer-slide instead of just saying suicide. "sewer-slide" just sounds like anal sex after taco bell. what happened to wanting to become "an hero"?
“Are you a chippy? Because you can batter my sausage!”
- My friend, 2022
I love your friend
Rizz god 🤑
@Chad 007 w
I can smell the britishness
@Checkmark giga chad kwite
bro i just realised its kinda hilarious that a guy whos face never gets seen is advertising a face skincare routine
love it
0:48 I love how when Kwite levitated back a bit, he did a little bounce to emulate taking a step back
yeah!! it’s almost like he has legs!!! (he obviously doesn’t though)
It's sad how most of these pickup lines would work on me cuz they'd make me laugh
Haha same, someone that can make me laugh is def a plus to me.
Holding up to your name I see lmao
If that was someone's pick up line on me, my pronoun would be "pre-ex" 💀.
I once used "Anyone ever tell you you're a weapon of mass distraction?"
...it worked.
Gonna throw out my go-to here "Are you a fine wine? Because I want to keep you locked in my cellar for 30 to 50 years"
Are you fine wine? Because I don’t drink 👍
"Then spent half a minute testing you before spitting you out ✨✨💕"
Once when i was sitting by an abandoned KFC while contemplating how empty my bank account was, a dude came up to me saying "i like the symmetry of your face..."
that's some shit a man who wants to keep your skull as a trophy would say 💀
heather mcnamara moment
You're a dermatologist, I have skin, it's a perfect match!
hi
Was scrolling and I saw someone I recognized and than felt even worse
I picked up my boyfriend with the pick up line of "hey, can you enchante this?(picture of a minecraft diamond sword) because you've already enchanted me" he laughed and here we are :)
aw thats adorable :D i might use that if i ever find anyone worth liking lmao
@@ConiferConnieTreeCow thank you!! Hope that if you find that someone, it works :D
just today i was drawing you and describing how tall and handsome you were to my friend, now knowing im actually taller than you gives me such a strange feeling of power
My girlfriend told me this one:
Her: "Do you like eggs?"
Me: "Yeah?"
Her: "Then you'd like me."
I think I'm gonna marry her.
Try the Mississippi line on her and see what she says
She is egg?
@@dakotawarner9414 She can make 79 different delicious meals with eggs.
@@justafurrywithinternet317 that's impressive ;-;
I think you really should matry her
tried to be nice and tell someone their eyes were pretty and they looked at me weirdly and said "that sounds like you want to put them in a jar". brother it wasnt even romantic i was just trying to be nice to a friend.
Kwite probably won't read this, but I really want him to know that bosom means a woman's chest/breasts, and not the ass. Skill issue, dude. 7:24
That thumbnail has gotta be the BEST pickup line
that’s the first thing i think when seeing an attractive person w a nice rear piece
THAT WAS MY FRIEND'S BF LMAOOO
I agree. It would definitely work on me
Since Kwite said his pickup line to the camera, almost directly into my eyes, shall I take that as direct request for me to top him?
You mean us 😏
@@0ueddecillion718 I mean I guess after
Why does kwite look like a dream smp member that nobody has seen before?
after the dream fiasco i think no faceless online influencer will ever do a face reveal lol
@Chad 007 if this is "make air fryer potatoe wedges easy and simple" I swear to God
Edit: fuck you
LITTERALY
Ø
@@sourcitrineee it also makes sense with the joke about Kwite being a floating green sweater
How could Kwite be desperately lonely when he has Springtrap?
hey the thumbnail was my boyfriend! we’re both kwite viewers and we’ve both been laughing over “gender comes after ass” for like 20 minutes 😭
Press X to Doubt
but the question remains:
what are your pronouns
@@dj-murlock ass/cheeks
omg hi river
@@MattlikestrainsOfficial if this is indeed my friend then it IS their bf
My shitty pickup line is "Are you a crime? Cuz I wanna be gay, do you."
When you realize kwite didn't know what a bosom is.
that first guy has to be satire at this point please 😭
My favourite pickup line: ‘If you were a triangle you’d be an ugly one’
I am Aro/Ace if you couldn’t tell lmao
"Can I be your toilet hun? Cuz you ARE the shit I'm addicted to!"
And I was all like "Huh, not a deal breaker, she's trying at least,"
🤣
"hey, you seem like a hard worker, and I have a opening you can fill"
Best one I got
Do Pick up lines ever work? Lol. Love your content Kwite.
@Chad 007 based
I just thought of this pick up line for a wlw relationship. Here’s how the convo would go
You- Your a lesbian right?
Her- Yeah, why?
You- Well les-be-in a relationship
@@liekwhatupdanger response: you make me Sapphic without the apph
@@RushWheeler sc?
@@liekwhatupdanger damnit I misspelled it. Just fixed it now
my favorite one has gotta be: "ay girl, you got a diamond pickaxe? cause im harder than obsidian"
"Hey girl, wanna come back to my place and watch porn on my 60 inch mirror?" is still my favorite
kwite, if your face is the surface of mars then call me an astronaut because i cant wait to explore every part of you
🤨
DAAMMNN THATS A BRILLIANT YET CURSED PICKUP LINE LMAO did you come up with that yourself? XD
@@ConiferConnieTreeCow i did come up with that myself thank you
@@yoururmommother8563 good job lmaoo
I had a "you look just like my dead gf" once from a random sus looking guy with a sausage in his hand. Made me remember Hanibal series and feel like Will Graham
My husband is 5'5" (so am I lol) but my shoulders are higher than his so I hug him over and he goes under and it's so cute. I call him my tiny cute husband and he likes it. And yes I made sure he's not offended (he's not). Anyway, point of this is short men are cute and there's nothing wrong with a short king. Own your heights fellas.
awww thats adorable i want a relationship like that. i 100% agree that short kings are great. i'd rather date a 5'5" man than a 6'2" man who i'd have to get on a stepladder just to kiss 😂
@@ConiferConnieTreeCow He really is the best. I have no idea how he puts up with me lmao
that's adorable omg
He’s a keeper
@@serenegenerally We've been together for like 18 years so I hope so haha
Knowing kwite short such a weird feeling like,the camera is eye to eye ,completely lined up,but most of his viewer base would actually need to look down to actually see him eye to eye
I have a favorite
“Hey girl you a slinky?
Cuz you sure look like you’d be fun to push down the stairs”
A guy actually said this to me (via text):
“Hey girl I’m jealous of your heart because it’s pounding inside you instead of me”
2:05 Bruh I love how "Paul" sounds exactly like the portuguese word "pau" which is a slang Brazilians use to describe a penis 💀💀
It also just means stick so it's also slang in english
“What has 128 teeth?” Me after geting back fron chernobyl.
Oh thank God a Kwite video, I'm off my meds and I desperately needed the serotonin I get from this cursed content
Hey, really hope you're doing ok and, if it brings you any comfort, know that you aren't alone (as cheesy as it sounds). I feel you, going off meds can be super disruptive and shitty. Cursed content serotonin is best serotonin tbh
Thanks, I got my meds today so should level out in a day or two. But really, thank you.
i once had a guy tell me 'you know i've never been just friends with a girl. it's always been dating' with a lot of undertone. imagine how shook he was to find out i'm genderqueer. i just wish he hadn't moved before i could tell him i'm aroace
goddamn, that's not a pickup line, that's a red flag!
my tumblr addicted friend told me the mississippi one awhile ago and i nearly shat myself first time hearing it
0:40 the way he treats his lips tho those lips have seen it all
kwite’s the kind of person to record a bunch of videos before he dies, just so after he is dead he can still give us content
I like to think that The lil light shine on kwites glasses is actually just his pupils
Kwite and kurtis combo lets go 💪💪
Me: *gets a really bad acne attack today*
Kwite: “hey here’s a skincare routine ad”
Damm boi perfect timing
I could be your Hershey's kiss 💀
Definitely my favorite Kwite video in a while😂 Especially appreciate your pick up line.
5:52
OH MY GOD HE SHOUTED ME OUT OMGHHVHUFHVLTXDTTKSFMSKFSKTS
9:49 that's literally how my bf asked me out and it worked 😭. Sure it was worded way better but it was super similar.
Basically since I'm tall as hell and he's short he said "Every squirrel needs a tree to store its nuts in" mid conversation and I asked if he was flirting and he said yes and now we've been dating for almost half a year now.
Aww
6:05 bruh what😭
He found out how to unfuck the Thanksgiving turkey
"On a scale of 1 to bald eagle, how free are you tonight?" - An old coworker of mine that was friends with my older brother at one point
Not to be parasocial low-key, but lately Kwite has really actually been just like me fr
7:25, you called an ass the "Bosom", which is the chest. Did you like, try to say Bussy, but then bail halfway through?
It was definitely a mistake because while I don’t think he’d say it in the first place, Kwite would never bail out of inappropriate word usage as this video has reminded us.
Worst pickup line I ever got was when a friend (not anymore) suddenly asked if I’d be willing to gain weight for him and be his “chubby girlfriend”
He was being 100% serious
I’d rather get the Mississippi line
1:27 istg im now going to use that word in any way i can cuz god imagine some 14 inch subway
as someone 5"1 I'm now stealing your short pick up line. I'll update you on how it plays out. thanks kwite
Tf is morosexual are you attracted to Morocco or smth
@@MattlikestrainsOfficial no. it's a joke about loving dumb people. are you interested?
How in the hell did he get a sponsorship for face care without showing his face???
It's weirdly gender affirming knowing that I, a trans guy, am much taller than you, a guy who could have picked taller prosthetic legs but just didn't.
i told my partner the same pickup line four times in less than a minute. then they read the letter i gave them asking them out. they, for some reason, still said yes. i say the pickup line as much as possible. it's been almost three months and i've said it probably 50 times
the pickup line "instead of tripping and falling, you can trip and fall for me." yes it's bad on purpose
this dude's pick up line for me was "Norwegians are very pretty, like you" cause i knew how to speak Norwegian (i live in america but my great-grandparents were immigrants)
4:44 I think that was a joke in deadpool, which arguably makes this even worse.
I still can’t believe a skincare company sponsored a guy without a face
Repeatedly told a guy I didn't want to be his girlfriend but I stayed his friend cause I felt bad for him. Decided to ditch for good when he started saying shit like "When we eventually have sex I don't want you on birth control"...
"Most people call me Robbie, but you can call me anytime."
~Robbie
😎
Can't wait to have all these pick up lines as my status on discord
As a 5'2" chic, I am stealing Kwite's stolen pickup line
My pickup line: “Hey girl, do you have healthcare? Because I really care about who I’m looking at”
"repeating dialogue you read in a self-insert fanfic"
*chokes on soda
IM DEAD BECAUSE THAT'S HOW IT READS FR some people think the world revolves around them😂
The best part of this video is that the sponsor is for facial care and the TH-camr that they chose to sponsor uses a mask in all of his videos
Kwite being sponsored by Tiege Hanely, the company owned and started by Alpha M whom Kwite made a video mocking, is hilarious to me. Also kind of wholesome since I feel like there must have been a positive "let bygones be bygones" moment somewhere along the line.
I think the best/worst one I've ever heard (which to this day I don't know if the guy was joking or not) goes along the lines of,
"Just call me baby, cuz Im going to be inside you for a long time"
I wish I was joking, my dudes 😃
I really thought the first guy who asked "what is your favourite candy?" was going to make a "can deez nuts" joke. Slightly surprised and disappointed that he didn't.
Im currently watching this at school in the middle of the class with the risk of getting caught by teachers but i must follow the sentient hoody's orders
10:43 Where is it, Kwite? Where is it?
The way you say yolk makes my skin crawl like there is an entire family of cockroaches residing inside of my lungs
the first one is most definitely a threat lock ur doors
"Are you a woman cuz you look like a woman"
~ me
i went into this video looking for something to send my girlfriend, came out of it realizing none of this was socially acceptable,
video true to the title
My friend and I were joking about how he would end up on the bachelor and 2 days later one of the popular girls turns out to like him and was too embarrassed to say anything to him directly
The boys flipped
A personal favorite
"Do you need a stud in your life? Because I got the STD, all I need is U"
7:31
as a pansexual, i can confirm this is true
0:58 this made me laugh way more then it should have
Sone of my favourites, "If life is a highway, why not be the girl in my trunk" or "if I were your dad, Id be in prison to"
10:20 Why did you say that exactly like Peter Griffin? Great video BTW.