Yes, I love my mother, but I don't think I would take care of her 24/7 hours. I need a decent job too! Some people need to lower down their expectation on children.
@livliv2384 you do make a valid point about having to make a living. Our system has created a monster. When women initially starred to work to merely have a few extras, prices rise until it took 2 incomes to survive that has now grown into side hustles. Nursing homes are now ran by private equities making it all for profit and a way to take seniors homes. It's a vicious mess. As a former social worker parents left in nursing homes not getting checked on are the ones most likely to suffer neglect inside the home. Bedsores from not being turned causing amputated feet. All due to short staffing for profit at our seniors expense. About caregiving 24/7 it's a difficult job and takes a toll on one's psyche. Every person's situation is different. No judgement here if you have to work and make a living. Just stay abreast of what's happening and know your parents financial obligation and services received. 🤗❤️
People who don't want children should NOT have children!!! Our foster system is full of children that have been abused and neglected. There are not enough people willing to foster or adopt these children. Many grow up being bounced from group homes to foster homes and back again. Then they "age out" and have little support when they go out on their own. Its a broken system. I have 3 children and I wanted them so very much. I was blessed to be a stay at home mom. I was there for every milestone, every tear, every joy. I would do it all again. I think children should be wanted and loved the way mine were. If not, dont.
There’s a misconception that the decision not to have kids is based on selfishness. Some people fear they will not be fit parents due to reasons such as severe childhood trauma - they don’t want to continue a cycle of abuse. These people have my deepest respect.
Some people also might have health conditions or disabilities that would make it really difficult for them to parent or that they feel and make it very difficult to the parent I don't want to speak on behalf of every single person with disabilities or health conditions though
@@Nina_Olivia You're correct. But also, who are we to make people feel badly simply because they don't feel like being a parent? Parenthood can be a beautiful experience and it can be horrific as well. Why do we keep adorning our expectations with dreams and force others to have the same dreams?
Loneliness is a state of mind. You can be in a room with a spouse and ten other people in the room and feel lonely. You can also be by yourself in a room involved in something and be perfectly content. It’s your state of mind.
Yep I can agree with that. I mean I know that some people don't have pets in are single and are happy and some people that are single at least have a pet and be perfectly happy and content
@@kyhi6900 You are WAY oversimplifying the concept of loneliness. Loneliness is real and authentic....not a state of mind. I think you're referring to solitude which is comfort with your aloneness. Loneliness is not a state of mind while solitude is about adapting and accepting a better reality.
My husband and I knew that neither of us wanted to have kids from the beginning of our relationship. Like the Dr. said, the internal desire never surfaced for me. Nearly 40 years later, no kids, no regrets. I believe this is more common than believed. It just wasn’t talked about.
I think it's totally fine as long as both partners agree. You made a choice and are happy with it! I am sure you don't hate kids you just chose it wasn't for you. Pets are great company if you want something similar to a kid. I have 4 dogs myself and I love them dearly
You’re right, I don’t dislike kids. I worked in a school district for 17 years. You’re also right about the pets. Currently, I’ve got 3 dogs, 4 cats, 5 horses and a potbelly pig. My farm meets so many of my needs and I know that I’m right where God wants me to be. Thanks for your reply.
@@Paintfilly1 You are very welcome I absolutely understand. Thank you for rescuing all those beautiful animals! That is your calling! God loves you whether you have kids or not. That doesn't define us! God bless you. 🙌 ❤️
People are delusional. If these parents wanted children, why do so many end up in the adoption and foster care system? Why do some parents harm them? Not only that, most just have children because someone else thinks they should. 40% - 50% of marriages end in divorce so now they put the kids they wanted so badly through all of that. Not having children is no more selfish than having them.
When i was 15 i decided i would not have kids because i was afraid i would treat my kids the same way my father treated us kids. Im the only boy and im 68 now. No regrets .
Interesting take. My husband was born to a drug addicted whore whole she was in prison, in foster care and then adopted by her drug friends. On the streets at 13 after much abuse etc etc He wanted loads of kids to give them the life he never had. Taking him to Disney with his children for the first time was amazing! Plenty of people decide to change what they came from and give their kids much more hope and amazing lives.
These folks who have kids are truly horrendous in their judgement and lack of reasoning. They’re against free will and their arguments are quite illogical. Wow! Well said Dr. Phil So many factors should enter into the decision of having a child, none of which the people with kids expressed as having contemplated. Sad
Not everyone wants to adopt or be a foster parent. also not everyone qualifies to Foster or adopt. So if you're thinking they should just be a daycare provider or a teacher I guess those are fine solutions but at the same time some people who can't have kids are very sad and depressed and can't be around other people's children.
To each their own. Being a parent gives you a phenomenal sense of purpose. Family bonds are priceless. The people who do not want those things, so be it.
I'm child free and plan to stay that way. I don't care what anyone thinks! I'll stay out of your business if you stay out of mine. If you wanna see more children in the world, then YOU should have more!
The phrase "child free" irks me. Free of something means that THING would have taken away your freedom. "Cancer free" yes, but NOT child free! Children don't take your freedom away. They enhance your quality of life. Replacing that void with an animal is exactly what these women are doing. I have 3 successful adult kids and we always did everything we wanted and more! My kids are responsible, hard workers with ethics and morals. They are a blessing. If I couldn't have had children, I would have adopted, which now-a-days is almost impossible. They're killing millions of unborn babies. We as a society are sick to the bone.
I never wanted kids, I thought pregnancy would be creepy and was terrified of birth. But then I had a baby and my world changed. Your brain changes and this tiny person became the most important thing in my life. And now I want more!
Never wanted kids. I could not picture myself changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night, kids getting sick and the messes that come with that, the cost of raising a child, the father changing his mind and not wanting to be a father, left to be single mother, daycare, car seats, bottles, strollers, pack n play, medical care. There is a longer list of reasons I chose not have kids and I am smart enough to know, all those reasons are legit. The number one reason is how I was raised. I was raised with abuse and trauma. Memories I cannot forget. I'm the best person I can be without having to raise children. I'm 51 and have never regretted my decision. I won't be alone in my old age, I have six nieces and nephews who love me and have already said, If I ever need it, they will help take of me if I can't care for myself. If people who choose not to have children are happy, then leave it at that.
well, weather manipulation and de-foresting the earth is the reason behind the "climate" including the poisons and toxins big business shares with all of us! I have to agree with you there!
God did not bless me with children. But I am helping to support children who lost their fathers in war and I am glad I can do that. My husband and I took care of my Mom when she had dementia.
The 2 men arguing for having kids are horrible. When you think the 1st one couldn't be worse, then comes the 2nd one that was quite a step down. The two also come across as arrogant, especially the 2nd guy. I cannot stand them. I'm 30 years old, a man, single, with 2 cats. I already been in my career for a decade and can pay all my bills on time. I don't want kids, and personally I like to be to myself. I'm happy. Everyone is different. Some want to have 2 kids, some 1 kid, some a large family, some themselves. This world would be so boring if everyone were similar.
Some people really shouldn't have children. Selfish people, people that can't conquer addiction, others with debilitating lifelong issues. Kids require time,money ,understanding and some times putting your foot down. And this is a 24 hr thing. You can't send kids to the boarding kennel when you need time off. Having kids teaches you patience and unconditional love. Every relationship is a give and take,children are the only relationship that you will love them still no matter what they do.
I am childfree by choice, people tell me that I'm selfish. It is actually selfish to have children because they don't ask to be born and they suffer once they are here. Every reason that people want children is selfish. They want a mini me, unconditional love and a caregiver for their old age. Can ANYONE list an unselfish reason to have children???
It’s not selfish for people who know they won’t make good parents to not have kids. What is the most evil and selfish is people having kids and being absent, bad, incompetent parents who did it for their own reasons and needs, not to create a good human. Parents having kids to fill them up or give them purpose is sick. Pathetic. Being an adult means analyzing if the child you could bring into the world will get everything it needs to not be a burden on anyone in anyway. The amount of people doing awful things to others is 99% cause of bad parents. And lots of those parents wouldn’t even know or think they did anything wrong. Just not worthy of being parents and too selfish and egotistical to not reproduce. We have too many incompetent parents. It’s sick.
The ones who were so gung Ho on everybody else having kids and concerned about them not having them.......only makes me believe that deep down they themselves regret becoming parents and they are seeking others, for the "misery loves company" angle.
Having children can mean you have the most genuine love you have ever experienced in life. It' gives you a reason to work. Hard and teaches you not to be selfish. The greatest joy in life. Thank God I got a baby doll and a disabled son. I love how much I love him. Not all kids are bad. They are exactly what you expect them to be.
@@Janiceleatham2112 For most working, everyday people, the decision to have children isn’t to be taken lightly. It goes beyond just the excitement of starting a family-it's about understanding the full scope of what’s involved. The aftermath of having children, including the long-term responsibilities that should be carefully considered. Prospective parents need to evaluate not only their financial stability, emotional intelligence, and work ethic but also their ability to handle life’s challenges. It’s not enough to just be in love; you need to be able to provide a stable, nurturing environment for that child you oh-so wish to have. People don’t want to raise children with someone who constantly finds themselves in substandard situations. Life is hard enough without adding unnecessary complications. That’s why understanding your partner’s lifestyle, values, and decision-making patterns is critical. Cohabiting🏠👩❤️👨 BEFORE having children is a smart way to test compatibility and ensure that both partners can manage day-to-day responsibilities, handle disagreements effectively and gracefully so both parties are satisfied with the outcome, and align on big-picture goals (but unfortunately some cultures, especially in the third world don’t allow for cohabitation, but I think we should defy cultural norms in order to avoid making mistakes). In the end, having children is a serious commitment, and those who are serious about it will think through every aspect, from the practical to the emotional, before making that leap. Most everyday, average working people don’t tend to think much about the long-term aftermath of having children. The lifestyles, values, and habits of the prospective parents, or how those factors will impact the family’s future. For many, the focus is more on the excitement of starting a family rather than considering the deeper responsibilities that come with it. But the reality is, it’s the job of the prospective parents to think through all these elements-their financial stability, emotional intelligence, work ethic, and the ability to handle life's challenges. It's *their* responsibility to ensure they’re equipped to create a stable and supportive environment for their children (and feeling that they’re NOT being forced by society, culture, parents or friends) - it should be a decision out of want rather than to please everyone around them🙄 Most people don’t automatically consider things like whether their partner can manage day-to-day life or whether they can weather tough situations together. That’s why it’s crucial for those planning to have children to evaluate these factors before making any life-altering decisions. It's not just about love or desire to have kids; it’s about ensuring both parents are ready to step up and shoulder the responsibilities that come with raising a family. If they make good money, have a stable and rewarding career, emotional intelligence, good health and values that don’t go against societal norms and structures and the law, as well as them having a consistent track record of being able to come out of unintended predicaments gracefully and effectively - then that would ensure a good life for the child and the parents. Look up Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs triangle and see where you fit in and if you’re able provide all the 4 things before self actualisation💁♂️ - if you can’t, then work on them, before considering the bearing of any offspring.
As a parent, I believe that people that don’t want kids shouldn’t have kids!!! I am blessed that I wanted kids and have them. Not everyone should be a parent.
The thing that changed my mind about having kids is when my older brother moved in with me for 12 months. He had brought his 2 year old with him. That experience with her little self was life altering. We bonded. I became "Uncle Mike". She was introduced to little hikes by me. Before you knew it she was saying "Uncle Mike hike?" with her little Dora Explorer outfit and backpack with her diapers and water abd snacks in it. 😊 I said "not today" one day and her heart was so shattered. I couldnt bare to see it so I immediately changed my mind and we went for a little hike. Now I have my own two children. Two boys. We have our own adventures together. And I would not ever trade this for my childless lifestyle. There is a love and a ferocity I can not put into words. A place where it is them before me. A place where I would kill to ensure their safety. That has never been the case for me before my kids. God bless you all and I hope you do what is best for yourselves.
Can I be honest? I dislike children, I like spending money on myself, I like to spend my time the way I want. Screw that! It would be a living hell that I would never have an escape from. I AM SELFISH, I AM ALONE AND I LOVE IT! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I think it's fine to have kids or not. As long as both groups don't judge each other and are happy with their choices! Listen to Jesus do not judge unless you want to be judged the same way.
I think you're taking what Yeshua said totally out of context to support your point. Maybe learn more before putting words in Yeshua's mouth. Seriously.
@@PetPrepRadioShow wow I literally read right from Matthew. I think you need to have Yeshua in your heart you are fully of judgement and spite. What about infertility? You are being very cruel
This dude is so insufferable. Why is it any of your business who does what with their bodies and their lives? Have a thousand kids if you want but leave people to decide for themselves. For the love of god stfu. And the other one claiming the world is better off with every single person in it is just a straight up lie.
I like Phil's questioning. I think he could tell the wife had more to do with this "decision" than the husband. Just like wearing a matching pink shirt and pants.
Right?! The pink!! I was like "Hmm, she clearly wears the pants in the family." I think she just exposed herself to the fact that she just doesn't want to have kids with HIM. That's why she got so defensive. 😅
I guess neither of you think the person who actually has to carry said kids should have the most say in the decision. Also, the husband spoke up and defended his choice. But you know let's hate on child free women fir not living the way you want them to right? 😂 Both of you are pathetic people with no life, so you live through others, which is why you're complaining about the life of a complete stranger online. So pathetic and pitiful. Grow up!
I think it's a personal decision and other people should not tell you what to do with your life.Just because they wanted kids and they wanted him for a certain reason doesn't mean you have to want kids.It's not selfish.I never want a kid.I wanted to love on my niece's.Nephew's and other people's kids but not mine
I knew early on. I didn't want children. My mom had seven kids and raised them by herself along with most of the mothers I knew. The fathers just sent a check and didn't have a relationship with their kids. I never met a person I wanted to have kids with. Not to mention who can afford children today.
I agree. I knew early on. I wanted to be independent and very self-sufficient. I could not imagine having kids and having a man "take care" of me, and single motherhood didn't appeal to me at all.
It's not for everyone and not everyone should have children! I have 4 children that are all grown, my son unfortunately has passed away! 😢 But I feel blessed to have my children!
Not every person is meant to be a parent. With that said, college infantilizes young adults in record numbers and being childless means you can continue to be childlike your whole life. Learning true sacrifice for another human creates maturity.
Dr Phil is worth 500 million dollars. Its easy for him to have as many kids as he wants to. And his kids a luckier than him for having a multi billionaire father.
Only wealthy people can send them to college get them a car,my parents made me earn everything I love them but that's not a head start I had so many other brothers and sisters I didn't get new shoes I had to save lunch money to buy my own shoes,so a house hold of kids budget,suffer,go without,fend for myself
Thanks for covering both sides. Considering there are more people who have kids without much thought, it's better for people to choose what is best for them. The guests with several kids claiming their children will be tax payers, how do they know their kids won't be on social assistance? There are millions of people on social assistance draining tax payer money.
What about the couples who physically can't have children? Are they also selfish? These people have every wright to not have children if they don't want them
It's a good thing if people know themselves well enough to know that they would not be good at sacrificing enough of themselves and their lives to be parents. No one should be shamed for their choice.
Just like some people chose to have children for selfish reasons, people can chose to not have children for selfish reasons too. Selfishness is always going to lead to sorrow and loneliness. Always. However, people who choose to have children out of selfishness often have the children, learn to love them, and learn to become unselfish. Children have a way of knocking the selfish snot right out of you! 😄
None of us would be here today if everyone who didn’t want children got their wish. Some where up in everyone’s blood line, there was an unexpected child or an unwanted child. Even Jesus’s blood line has children conceived in awful ways. The rule of thumb should be, if you don’t want children, don’t have sex. Pregnancy is ALWAYS a possibility even with pills or surgery.
If this conversation is going to touch on Gen Z and Millennials in a sense that those generations are not as eager to have children as much as former ones, maybe they should’ve brought some people in that age range onto the show. Then they could speak on the fact that it’s become extremely difficult to provide for ourselves financially or even buy a house, so maybe that’s where some of the hesitation is coming from. Me personally, finances are 100% my concern. I’m a nurse, so i have a career and education btw. If I’m living paycheck to paycheck now, how would I provide for my child? And who would watch it while I need to work overtime to be able to provide? Not everyone has family members able to do that for them. Then you think of daycares and stories of abuse/high costs. These are the hesitations I have and when I can’t think of logical ways around this I think oh maybe I’ll figure out a solution one day. When I think about it again in several months or even years later at this point, I still have all the same concerns and no solutions. So, from a Millennial standpoint, my answer is finances! And that’s not because I want to be able to go spend $ on myself, it’s because I fear I won’t have enough to provide for a child. IMO that is far from selfish.
I fully understand the position. In saying that, I wish that being a parent was a more popular life aspiration. I'm a Millennial. I was in a group conversation where people were espousing child scepticism. I shared that my mum said having kids was "the best adventure (she and my dad) ever had" and it was like the clouds parted and the light of God shone down on everyone. In a fancy niche beer garden, But yeah. I think there are a lot of "potential parents" who haven't been given the example of or encouraged into good parenthood. It's sad.
Being a parent has always been a ‘popular life aspiration’. It’s only now that people realize it’s not the only way to live that people wanna sulk and act like parents are some oppressed minority group.
Funny thing is, the two male guest speakers who say people must have children both have arrogant smug faces and attitude, both are pushy, controlling and defensive. Imagine what kind of people their children will become. You don’t do good for the world by being narrow minded and unaccepting of other peoples values.
From personal experience having child as a single parent with a dead beat dad, (father was deported) my son had no male mentors, partly my fault I was overprotective, it was extremely difficult as a full time working single parent whose boss didn't have children and I could take off to go to my child's after school activities so he didn't have any and I couldn't afford much anyways so usually I would have his friends sleep over on the weekends. And it was very hard to keep up with new and upcoming technologies so my child could compete with his peers. But it made me grow and the challenges made me smarter and understand that "things", that are not necessary, are a waste of money, and happiness is what you make it to be. Also having a child was a great motivator for me to want to make the world a better place and be a part of the solution rather then the problem.
What young couple can even afford to start out these days without kids? Do people see how much houses and apartments are? It caused a lot of financial stress on my wife and I, imagine these times… Thanks a lot Biden/Harris!!!
The guy with four kids is very much a know it all. He is irritating and you can tell the way that he is talking to other people that disagree with him that he thinks he is really something. Very self-righteous.
Why do you feel sad then when everyone around you got children and maybe even divorced once and had new children with a new partner and you feel left behind as a loser of life at 48 that never for the chance to find a partner and develop your own family… is this feeling only due to staying in touch with people that have kids or is it a natural feeling? Or a manipulated feeling by media and social pressure of what is considered “normal” and if you don’t follow this norm as now one like me is clearly bullied by relatives as the scapegoat child / black sheep and I am no more invited to baptism and birthdays and family dinners… is all gone since some years for me now… no cousins or relatives stay in touch with me as the only single man with no family or ex with kids either… I an looked upon as a abomination to them and the system they live in and mirror themselves in abs being self righteous about in how they treat me… I feel a lot of grief from their gaslighting me 😢
We human beings live on connection . So stay connected there are 7 billions people and billions of pet animals . We are part of nature so anytime you feel disconnected , go in nature and talk to them . We all have the calling sooner or later . Love and 🤗 from this side
my mother and mother in law are angry that i had many kids, they did not help me raise them, and they both wanted me to waste my life on making money. i grew up hating babies and kids. kids where a waste of time, got pregnant and now have 4 kids, i never felt maternal instinct until the first was born. i want to have more kids and are working on it. you are not born to want a child but it makes sense once you do.
When I was young, I became friends with a couple who had just had their third child. I always had fun when hanging with this family. That's when I realized that having children was cool!
Here’s one for you all :god said to Adam and Eve ,(go forth and populate the earth). Now if most of us don’t have children,people are just going to disappear from earth.and besides with just that few that do get blessed with children , sure going to make it hard to choose their spouse when they grow up.its a shame that we are losing our morals and values
Have you seen the population statistics?! We are reaching 10 billion! I don’t know what they are talking about in terms of depopulation, I’ll have to look into what that means! But we are far from needing more people on the earth. Secondly wanting to impose a moral obligation for everyone to have kids is not only judgmental, it’s dangerous. Children should be planed, and decided on by two loving hopefully married people, and if someone doesn’t want kids we shouldn’t make them feel obligated to do so! How sick is that! Bringing a baby into the world who they don’t want and won’t love properly! There’s so many parents in the world who shouldn’t be. Why not think of a children’s well being rather than your own religious beliefs. Everyone has their own journey and lessons that God wants them to learn, and for some people that doesn’t include children. Look at the foster care system! I think it’s wonderful when people decide to have children, and exciting! It’s also responsible, and self aware when someone decides they aren’t a good fit for having children because they know themselves.
It does not take a village to raise a child just so you know folks. It does take two parents to do it well... Not more than that. I see it as not a responsibility to society, an opportunity. It is also a hope for the future , for society. It's like never using one of your lungs. You certainly get by most of the time. It will inhibit your choices. It will affect society.
I think if people say they don’t want kids then they shouldn’t because then if they do, then they may be unhappy and that kid can end up with a bad life. Also I’m not sure if I had to start over in these times were going though I wouldn’t bring kids into this mess of a world. It’s bad enough as it is all of our trades jobs have been given to people that don’t even speak English. We are so flooded with people from other country’s that I don’t know where my grandkids are gonna work. I can already see my grandson is not good in school like I was, but the difference is I was able to be a carpenters helper and he will not have that chance. I’m worried for their future. I’m a plumber by trade, but it’s slowly going to illegals. I’m even worried about my future
As a parent to 7. I would not want them to have a "mentor" that doesnt want children. That does show a bit of some personality traits I wouldnt want my childrne to be around.
Our purpose in life is to have children. For those that can't have biological children, many of them have a very difficult time at some point (and some always will) in their life with depression & other mental health issues.
the women who are having more than 1 child makes up for those who choose not to have any. I’d rather people have children who want them than taking the risk that they don’t and than abuse them. My daughter would rather have a dog than a child and has one. I don’t wanna raise any children PERIOD
As a young person, I thought every married person should have a child. But as my daughter, one of 4 daughters and 5 of in total children, said she didn't want to have kids I changed my mind. Any one who doesn't want kids, shouldn't have babies. They shouldn't get pregnant and make absolutely sure they don't get pregnant. They can have pets and care and love their pets. They don't have the capacity to sacrifice and devote to raise children. I would have never let them be with my kids without me or my husband by themselves. If, in an emergency, I don't think they would be able to save my kids in such a situation. If people who don't want kids accidentally get pregnant, I don't think they would be able to raise the kids with how children should be raised. I wouldn't want them to be in positions to be caregivers of my child. They don't have the empathy or the experience that would be needed to understand things they would be going through. Although, there are people who do have kids and they shouldn't have. There are horrible parents who are selfish and don't have the empathy and caring for another human being. I think there should be a test, like a driver's lisence test before people procreate, in a perfect world. If the human population is dropping, then that's survival of the best and needed for the human race.
Absolutely love being a mother. However, when you have children, your life is no longer your own. That being said, best decision I ever made. Now enjoying the grandchildren. If you have a good spouse, it’s easier.
I think having children is a personal decision. What I don’t agree with is glorifying it either way because the over glorified influence to have children or not to have children can be a stumbling block to someone else. Share your experience, but don’t expect others to live by it.
I really feel sorry for people who are unable to find joy, happiness and fulfilment in life without having children. They are using children to fill a void in life that they are unable to fill themselves. They really are being very selfish.
We have an affluent society, it allows for choice. It will not make or break humanity. Affluence leads to the ability to be "selfish", it arguably will lead to the downfall of society. The choice to have a family means sacrifice, it means you're invested in the future. I have 4 kids, I love them all and will sacrifice everything I have for them. One suffers from a diabilitating mental disorder, a healthy parent suffers with their children as much as shares in their joys. It is no picnic, but it does include them. Not having children, to me, is like a never ending picnic, like "Groundhog Day", it would be insufferable. Tomorrow would have no meaning, the state of society would have no meaning, accomplishments of timeless things like the founding fathers, Martin Luther King Jr etc. would less likely be invisioned. They were invested in the future in a tangible way, not purely intellectual. To be fair, the revolutions of society, the desperate, brutality of these were parents determined to establish a future for their children. Who would you want in the foxhole beside you defending freedom? The purely intellectual or the tangibly invested? I would be disappointed if one of my children chose not to have kids, I think it is a deficiency in the human spirit. As is entitlement/ indivualism. Societal affluence breeds all these things, they always exist but affluence gives room to grow. This makes society weak and if it becomes dominant enough will lead to its downfall. Part of the deep polarity we see today is this dynamic. When the individual is raised to such a high level they believe they are the center of existence. They rely on their own feelings and believe that is reality instead of that reality is something we fit into and ultimately framed by a source outside ourselves. Our affect on that reality has profound effects on others reality, whether we are a tyrant or help the widow or orphan. One is the ultimate individualist the other self sacrificing. Our every decision determines defines how that permeates our lives. So I do think society is negatively affected by this becoming a trend, not that we don't have the affluence to absorb it but it doesn't contribute to a sustainable society. If we were in a less affluent society it would lead to its destruction, but my practice of preserving individual freedom so my kids can prosper, protects the things I morally disagree with. The overall charm is, I have 4 people I have a chance of instilling selfsacrifice in, the trends in society today that promote self centeredness, have none, it is self defeating. The misunderstanding of protecting the individual to the individual is the center can be defeated by instilling selfsacrifice with its rewards in our children, and pointing out the meaninglessness of purely temporal existence.
I work with old people. Those with children have no regrets, whether their family comes around or not. Those without children are extremely lonely and miserable. They always have regret. It’s very tragic.
Buuuullllllshit. Both my favorite aunts never had kids and until their dying day were surrounded by people and didn’t regret a damn thing. Project much ?
And the teen just like both of us all stressed out trying to earn our cars,work pt and go to high school and college by the time were 25 both of us feel like we're 60 rich people have all the kids you want while middle class kids have different life problems
I think the issue here is women (and maybe men, I'm not one so idk) are being told that having a child takes all of your independence, ruins your body, ruins your life, that you're a slave to your biological clock, and that you must sacrifice your entire life and identity to being a mother. Thats not true and it's almost evil that this is so pervasive. I fell pray to this most of my life and am now a mother, Dr Phil has points about the nasty reasons that people have children, but that's not everyone's reason to not have children.
Jeremy Boring said that one of God's biggest graces is allowing those who choose not to have children to be ignorant of what they're missing Edit: I have children and never once felt the desire to have them and yet they are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am a sahm and I'd never go back. You have absolutely no idea what you're missing. And no, parenthood isn't for everyone, but a lot of people have been coerced into believing they don't want them. I was one of them and thankfully I didn't let that coercion win.
I think if you don’t want kids, you shouldn’t have them but I don’t agree with brainwashing our kids to not have them. I don’t think we should persuade them with the joys of being childless. Let them figure it out with their family and loved ones … schools and media should stick to teaching kids to learn skills to be self sustaining, contributing humans … leave morals to their family … but then you they would have to have children, hmmm
My favorite part of this episode was when Dr. Phil questioned each person who had kids for reason xyz. They had the most odd and weirdest reasoning behind having kids. I thought you had kids because you love kids and/or because you wanted to start a family with your partner? These people are so ass backwards in their logic. I will pick a dog over a baby. I don’t want to be pregnant and I never have wanted to have kids until I met my fiancé but he can no longer have kids. I say my kids have paws and I have a bonus kiddo that my fiancé had from his previous marriage. I also like to think the way I grew is another reason why I don’t want kids. I had four younger sisters, I took them to school, dance practices, picked them up from school, made sure they ate before and after school, etc etc. all the things a mom does. Doesn’t make me their mom, but I did all of that and more and felt like I already had my kids by constantly taking care of them.
I’m a mother w/ 2 daughters & now a grandmother w/2 grandsons. I’m blessed & grateful for all of them. It seemed to me that the guests w/the children were WAY more judgmental & argumentative than the guests who’ e made the choice not to hv kids. It kinda bothered me, because we’ve all seen examples of people that hv NO business being parents.
they found some boring guests. i get bombarded with being the destroyer of the climate, and a waste of brain woman, because i have 4 and want more. i have feminist mother and mother in law who are angry at me for making kids instead of wasting my life on a career. and none of them helped with the kids, never watched them or anything. but they value friendships more than family,
Having children does not mean you won't be lonely. Not all children check on their parents later in life.
Also some parents change their minds after having children and run away so if they are lonely and die alone I hope they remember that was their choice
Especially if you send them to school and college and don’t realize how they indoctrinate and brainwash them especially when it’s on your dime
Some kids leave their parents in the nursing home without visiting them.
Yes, I love my mother, but I don't think I would take care of her 24/7 hours. I need a decent job too! Some people need to lower down their expectation on children.
@livliv2384 you do make a valid point about having to make a living. Our system has created a monster. When women initially starred to work to merely have a few extras, prices rise until it took 2 incomes to survive that has now grown into side hustles. Nursing homes are now ran by private equities making it all for profit and a way to take seniors homes. It's a vicious mess. As a former social worker parents left in nursing homes not getting checked on are the ones most likely to suffer neglect inside the home. Bedsores from not being turned causing amputated feet. All due to short staffing for profit at our seniors expense. About caregiving 24/7 it's a difficult job and takes a toll on one's psyche. Every person's situation is different. No judgement here if you have to work and make a living. Just stay abreast of what's happening and know your parents financial obligation and services received. 🤗❤️
People who don't want children should NOT have children!!! Our foster system is full of children that have been abused and neglected. There are not enough people willing to foster or adopt these children. Many grow up being bounced from group homes to foster homes and back again. Then they "age out" and have little support when they go out on their own. Its a broken system. I have 3 children and I wanted them so very much. I was blessed to be a stay at home mom. I was there for every milestone, every tear, every joy. I would do it all again. I think children should be wanted and loved the way mine were. If not, dont.
There’s a misconception that the decision not to have kids is based on selfishness. Some people fear they will not be fit parents due to reasons such as severe childhood trauma - they don’t want to continue a cycle of abuse. These people have my deepest respect.
Bingo
Some people also might have health conditions or disabilities that would make it really difficult for them to parent or that they feel and make it very difficult to the parent I don't want to speak on behalf of every single person with disabilities or health conditions though
R some people know that this world isn't 4 them so y bring anything they claim to luv here 2
@@Nina_Olivia You're correct. But also, who are we to make people feel badly simply because they don't feel like being a parent? Parenthood can be a beautiful experience and it can be horrific as well. Why do we keep adorning our expectations with dreams and force others to have the same dreams?
This. Exactly. All day long.
Loneliness is a state of mind. You can be in a room with a spouse and ten other people in the room and feel lonely. You can also be by yourself in a room involved in something and be perfectly content. It’s your state of mind.
Yep I can agree with that. I mean I know that some people don't have pets in are single and are happy and some people that are single at least have a pet and be perfectly happy and content
@@kyhi6900 You are WAY oversimplifying the concept of loneliness. Loneliness is real and authentic....not a state of mind. I think you're referring to solitude which is comfort with your aloneness. Loneliness is not a state of mind while solitude is about adapting and accepting a better reality.
Different strokes for different folks is still one of the best examples of tolerance I have heard.
My husband and I knew that neither of us wanted to have kids from the beginning of our relationship. Like the Dr. said, the internal desire never surfaced for me. Nearly 40 years later, no kids, no regrets. I believe this is more common than believed. It just wasn’t talked about.
I think it's totally fine as long as both partners agree. You made a choice and are happy with it! I am sure you don't hate kids you just chose it wasn't for you. Pets are great company if you want something similar to a kid. I have 4 dogs myself and I love them dearly
buLK$hi
You’re right, I don’t dislike kids. I worked in a school district for 17 years. You’re also right about the pets. Currently, I’ve got 3 dogs, 4 cats, 5 horses and a potbelly pig. My farm meets so many of my needs and I know that I’m right where God wants me to be. Thanks for your reply.
@@Paintfilly1 You are very welcome I absolutely understand. Thank you for rescuing all those beautiful animals! That is your calling! God loves you whether you have kids or not. That doesn't define us! God bless you. 🙌 ❤️
People are delusional. If these parents wanted children, why do so many end up in the adoption and foster care system? Why do some parents harm them? Not only that, most just have children because someone else thinks they should. 40% - 50% of marriages end in divorce so now they put the kids they wanted so badly through all of that. Not having children is no more selfish than having them.
When i was 15 i decided i would not have kids because i was afraid i would treat my kids the same way my father treated us kids. Im the only boy and im 68 now. No regrets .
Interesting take. My husband was born to a drug addicted whore whole she was in prison, in foster care and then adopted by her drug friends. On the streets at 13 after much abuse etc etc
He wanted loads of kids to give them the life he never had. Taking him to Disney with his children for the first time was amazing!
Plenty of people decide to change what they came from and give their kids much more hope and amazing lives.
These folks who have kids are truly horrendous in their judgement and lack of reasoning. They’re against free will and their arguments are quite illogical. Wow! Well said Dr. Phil
So many factors should enter into the decision of having a child, none of which the people with kids expressed as having contemplated. Sad
We're infertile for 15 years and didn't choose this. Let God's will be done. ✝️💜
There are many children who need attention and care.
Not everyone wants to adopt or be a foster parent. also not everyone qualifies to Foster or adopt. So if you're thinking they should just be a daycare provider or a teacher I guess those are fine solutions but at the same time some people who can't have kids are very sad and depressed and can't be around other people's children.
@@ElizabethCox-z9oNo I can’t have children and I love being around them. It depends on the person I guess but it helps me.
To each their own. Being a parent gives you a phenomenal sense of purpose. Family bonds are priceless. The people who do not want those things, so be it.
You do realise that everyone in prison has a family. Right?
Some people have a phenomenal sense of purpose and strong family bonds without children.
I'm child free and plan to stay that way. I don't care what anyone thinks! I'll stay out of your business if you stay out of mine. If you wanna see more children in the world, then YOU should have more!
The phrase "child free" irks me. Free of something means that THING would have taken away your freedom. "Cancer free" yes, but NOT child free! Children don't take your freedom away. They enhance your quality of life. Replacing that void with an animal is exactly what these women are doing. I have 3 successful adult kids and we always did everything we wanted and more! My kids are responsible, hard workers with ethics and morals. They are a blessing. If I couldn't have had children, I would have adopted, which now-a-days is almost impossible. They're killing millions of unborn babies. We as a society are sick to the bone.
This!!!
Exactly
I never wanted kids, I thought pregnancy would be creepy and was terrified of birth.
But then I had a baby and my world changed. Your brain changes and this tiny person became the most important thing in my life.
And now I want more!
hope you get the exact amount you want. i was the same way, i never liked babies or children, now i live only for them.
Never wanted kids. I could not picture myself changing diapers, getting up in the middle of the night, kids getting sick and the messes that come with that, the cost of raising a child, the father changing his mind and not wanting to be a father, left to be single mother, daycare, car seats, bottles, strollers, pack n play, medical care. There is a longer list of reasons I chose not have kids and I am smart enough to know, all those reasons are legit. The number one reason is how I was raised. I was raised with abuse and trauma. Memories I cannot forget. I'm the best person I can be without having to raise children. I'm 51 and have never regretted my decision. I won't be alone in my old age, I have six nieces and nephews who love me and have already said, If I ever need it, they will help take of me if I can't care for myself. If people who choose not to have children are happy, then leave it at that.
Wow… The argument FOR children needs better equipped individuals. 🤦♀️ Thank GOD Robin and Phil stepped in to recover!
I don't have children and am not looking back
Marry and having kids not for everyone live happily the way you wanted
The biggest issue is people using having or not having children as a legitimate brag: you do you and don't make it a power-play
She says she thinks people should think critically and then says we need less children for the climate LMAO
well, weather manipulation and de-foresting the earth is the reason behind the "climate" including the poisons and toxins big business shares with all of us! I have to agree with you there!
She was talking about your parents. They could've done so many other things like not bringing another trash human into the world. 😂
Exactly! Save the climate crisis, don't have kids. These people actually believe this stuff.
God did not bless me with children. But I am helping to support children who lost their fathers in war and I am glad I can do that. My husband and I took care of my Mom when she had dementia.
@@Janine11155 I wish I had someone like you in my life. Lost my father to cancer at 4. Thank you for helping fatherless children 🙏
@@ko7302Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry for your loss at a young age. God bless you
The 2 men arguing for having kids are horrible. When you think the 1st one couldn't be worse, then comes the 2nd one that was quite a step down. The two also come across as arrogant, especially the 2nd guy. I cannot stand them. I'm 30 years old, a man, single, with 2 cats. I already been in my career for a decade and can pay all my bills on time. I don't want kids, and personally I like to be to myself. I'm happy. Everyone is different. Some want to have 2 kids, some 1 kid, some a large family, some themselves. This world would be so boring if everyone were similar.
Some people really shouldn't have children. Selfish people, people that can't conquer addiction, others with debilitating lifelong issues. Kids require time,money ,understanding and some times putting your foot down. And this is a 24 hr thing. You can't send kids to the boarding kennel when you need time off. Having kids teaches you patience and unconditional love. Every relationship is a give and take,children are the only relationship that you will love them still no matter what they do.
His point is right. Imagine raising kids but not wanting them in the end. Contribute to the natural instincts in some other way than raising children.
I am childfree by choice, people tell me that I'm selfish. It is actually selfish to have children because they don't ask to be born and they suffer once they are here. Every reason that people want children is selfish. They want a mini me, unconditional love and a caregiver for their old age. Can ANYONE list an unselfish reason to have children???
It’s not selfish for people who know they won’t make good parents to not have kids. What is the most evil and selfish is people having kids and being absent, bad, incompetent parents who did it for their own reasons and needs, not to create a good human. Parents having kids to fill them up or give them purpose is sick. Pathetic. Being an adult means analyzing if the child you could bring into the world will get everything it needs to not be a burden on anyone in anyway. The amount of people doing awful things to others is 99% cause of bad parents. And lots of those parents wouldn’t even know or think they did anything wrong. Just not worthy of being parents and too selfish and egotistical to not reproduce. We have too many incompetent parents. It’s sick.
100% true
Well spoken.
The ones who were so gung Ho on everybody else having kids and concerned about them not having them.......only makes me believe that deep down they themselves regret becoming parents and they are seeking others, for the "misery loves company" angle.
Yes they do
Having children means - you 'worry' for the rest of the your 'own' life. It is, what it is
Having children can mean you have the most genuine love you have ever experienced in life. It' gives you a reason to work. Hard and teaches you not to be selfish. The greatest joy in life. Thank God I got a baby doll and a disabled son. I love how much I love him. Not all kids are bad. They are exactly what you expect them to be.
@@Janiceleatham2112 For most working, everyday people, the decision to have children isn’t to be taken lightly. It goes beyond just the excitement of starting a family-it's about understanding the full scope of what’s involved. The aftermath of having children, including the long-term responsibilities that should be carefully considered. Prospective parents need to evaluate not only their financial stability, emotional intelligence, and work ethic but also their ability to handle life’s challenges. It’s not enough to just be in love; you need to be able to provide a stable, nurturing environment for that child you oh-so wish to have.
People don’t want to raise children with someone who constantly finds themselves in substandard situations. Life is hard enough without adding unnecessary complications. That’s why understanding your partner’s lifestyle, values, and decision-making patterns is critical. Cohabiting🏠👩❤️👨 BEFORE having children is a smart way to test compatibility and ensure that both partners can manage day-to-day responsibilities, handle disagreements effectively and gracefully so both parties are satisfied with the outcome, and align on big-picture goals (but unfortunately some cultures, especially in the third world don’t allow for cohabitation, but I think we should defy cultural norms in order to avoid making mistakes). In the end, having children is a serious commitment, and those who are serious about it will think through every aspect, from the practical to the emotional, before making that leap.
Most everyday, average working people don’t tend to think much about the long-term aftermath of having children. The lifestyles, values, and habits of the prospective parents, or how those factors will impact the family’s future. For many, the focus is more on the excitement of starting a family rather than considering the deeper responsibilities that come with it. But the reality is, it’s the job of the prospective parents to think through all these elements-their financial stability, emotional intelligence, work ethic, and the ability to handle life's challenges. It's *their* responsibility to ensure they’re equipped to create a stable and supportive environment for their children (and feeling that they’re NOT being forced by society, culture, parents or friends) - it should be a decision out of want rather than to please everyone around them🙄
Most people don’t automatically consider things like whether their partner can manage day-to-day life or whether they can weather tough situations together. That’s why it’s crucial for those planning to have children to evaluate these factors before making any life-altering decisions. It's not just about love or desire to have kids; it’s about ensuring both parents are ready to step up and shoulder the responsibilities that come with raising a family.
If they make good money, have a stable and rewarding career, emotional intelligence, good health and values that don’t go against societal norms and structures and the law, as well as them having a consistent track record of being able to come out of unintended predicaments gracefully and effectively - then that would ensure a good life for the child and the parents.
Look up Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs triangle and see where you fit in and if you’re able provide all the 4 things before self actualisation💁♂️ - if you can’t, then work on them, before considering the bearing of any offspring.
As a parent, I believe that people that don’t want kids shouldn’t have kids!!! I am blessed that I wanted kids and have them. Not everyone should be a parent.
The thing that changed my mind about having kids is when my older brother moved in with me for 12 months. He had brought his 2 year old with him. That experience with her little self was life altering. We bonded. I became "Uncle Mike". She was introduced to little hikes by me. Before you knew it she was saying "Uncle Mike hike?" with her little Dora Explorer outfit and backpack with her diapers and water abd snacks in it. 😊 I said "not today" one day and her heart was so shattered. I couldnt bare to see it so I immediately changed my mind and we went for a little hike. Now I have my own two children. Two boys. We have our own adventures together. And I would not ever trade this for my childless lifestyle. There is a love and a ferocity I can not put into words. A place where it is them before me. A place where I would kill to ensure their safety. That has never been the case for me before my kids. God bless you all and I hope you do what is best for yourselves.
Can I be honest? I dislike children, I like spending money on myself, I like to spend my time the way I want. Screw that! It would be a living hell that I would never have an escape from. I AM SELFISH, I AM ALONE AND I LOVE IT! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I don't like ppl that much honestly
YOU DO YOU
I think it's fine to have kids or not. As long as both groups don't judge each other and are happy with their choices! Listen to Jesus do not judge unless you want to be judged the same way.
I think you're taking what Yeshua said totally out of context to support your point. Maybe learn more before putting words in Yeshua's mouth. Seriously.
@@PetPrepRadioShow wow I literally read right from Matthew. I think you need to have Yeshua in your heart you are fully of judgement and spite. What about infertility? You are being very cruel
@@ko7302u said nothing wrong hun
This dude is so insufferable. Why is it any of your business who does what with their bodies and their lives? Have a thousand kids if you want but leave people to decide for themselves. For the love of god stfu. And the other one claiming the world is better off with every single person in it is just a straight up lie.
The " pro children" men were asses.
I can't have kids, that wasn't my choice!
I like Phil's questioning. I think he could tell the wife had more to do with this "decision" than the husband. Just like wearing a matching pink shirt and pants.
Right?! The pink!! I was like "Hmm, she clearly wears the pants in the family." I think she just exposed herself to the fact that she just doesn't want to have kids with HIM. That's why she got so defensive. 😅
I guess neither of you think the person who actually has to carry said kids should have the most say in the decision. Also, the husband spoke up and defended his choice. But you know let's hate on child free women fir not living the way you want them to right? 😂 Both of you are pathetic people with no life, so you live through others, which is why you're complaining about the life of a complete stranger online. So pathetic and pitiful. Grow up!
Global population grows at 71 million per year currently. Crises averted
CHILDFREE here. Husband got a vasectomy
I think it's a personal decision and other people should not tell you what to do with your life.Just because they wanted kids and they wanted him for a certain reason doesn't mean you have to want kids.It's not selfish.I never want a kid.I wanted to love on my niece's.Nephew's and other people's kids but not mine
I chose to go childless after 2 abortions. I had my tube's blocked. My family had bad genes. No regrets.
I knew early on. I didn't want children. My mom had seven kids and raised them by herself along with most of the mothers I knew. The fathers just sent a check and didn't have a relationship with their kids. I never met a person I wanted to have kids with. Not to mention who can afford children today.
I agree. I knew early on. I wanted to be independent and very self-sufficient. I could not imagine having kids and having a man "take care" of me, and single motherhood didn't appeal to me at all.
Nothing about being pregnant is appealing 2 me
It's not for everyone and not everyone should have children! I have 4 children that are all grown, my son unfortunately has passed away! 😢 But I feel blessed to have my children!
Not every person is meant to be a parent. With that said, college infantilizes young adults in record numbers and being childless means you can continue to be childlike your whole life. Learning true sacrifice for another human creates maturity.
This what think of as right to choose..but be responsible, and respectful of your body.
It would be selfish for me to have kids with my rare diagnos who can give next generation worse life. No kids for me
Dr Phil is worth 500 million dollars. Its easy for him to have as many kids as he wants to. And his kids a luckier than him for having a multi billionaire father.
Only wealthy people can send them to college get them a car,my parents made me earn everything I love them but that's not a head start I had so many other brothers and sisters I didn't get new shoes I had to save lunch money to buy my own shoes,so a house hold of kids budget,suffer,go without,fend for myself
Thanks for covering both sides. Considering there are more people who have kids without much thought, it's better for people to choose what is best for them. The guests with several kids claiming their children will be tax payers, how do they know their kids won't be on social assistance? There are millions of people on social assistance draining tax payer money.
It wasn’t my decision, I just didn’t find the right person at the right time.
What about the couples who physically can't have children? Are they also selfish? These people have every wright to not have children if they don't want them
BINGO
It's a good thing if people know themselves well enough to know that they would not be good at sacrificing enough of themselves and their lives to be parents. No one should be shamed for their choice.
Sometimes parents don't learn to set themselves behind.... That is a painful part for children...
I would argue that having kids is selfish.
You're absolutely right. Having a child is one of the most selfish and narcissistic things anyone can do, especially these days.
Better healthcare? Our healthcare sucks in America with the for profit insurance corporations dictating care!
Just like some people chose to have children for selfish reasons, people can chose to not have children for selfish reasons too. Selfishness is always going to lead to sorrow and loneliness. Always.
However, people who choose to have children out of selfishness often have the children, learn to love them, and learn to become unselfish. Children have a way of knocking the selfish snot right out of you! 😄
None of us would be here today if everyone who didn’t want children got their wish. Some where up in everyone’s blood line, there was an unexpected child or an unwanted child. Even Jesus’s blood line has children conceived in awful ways.
The rule of thumb should be, if you don’t want children, don’t have sex. Pregnancy is ALWAYS a possibility even with pills or surgery.
I love Emily’s honesty 😂😂
If this conversation is going to touch on Gen Z and Millennials in a sense that those generations are not as eager to have children as much as former ones, maybe they should’ve brought some people in that age range onto the show. Then they could speak on the fact that it’s become extremely difficult to provide for ourselves financially or even buy a house, so maybe that’s where some of the hesitation is coming from. Me personally, finances are 100% my concern. I’m a nurse, so i have a career and education btw. If I’m living paycheck to paycheck now, how would I provide for my child? And who would watch it while I need to work overtime to be able to provide? Not everyone has family members able to do that for them. Then you think of daycares and stories of abuse/high costs. These are the hesitations I have and when I can’t think of logical ways around this I think oh maybe I’ll figure out a solution one day. When I think about it again in several months or even years later at this point, I still have all the same concerns and no solutions. So, from a Millennial standpoint, my answer is finances! And that’s not because I want to be able to go spend $ on myself, it’s because I fear I won’t have enough to provide for a child. IMO that is far from selfish.
I fully understand the position. In saying that, I wish that being a parent was a more popular life aspiration. I'm a Millennial. I was in a group conversation where people were espousing child scepticism. I shared that my mum said having kids was "the best adventure (she and my dad) ever had" and it was like the clouds parted and the light of God shone down on everyone. In a fancy niche beer garden, But yeah. I think there are a lot of "potential parents" who haven't been given the example of or encouraged into good parenthood. It's sad.
Being a parent has always been a ‘popular life aspiration’. It’s only now that people realize it’s not the only way to live that people wanna sulk and act like parents are some oppressed minority group.
Funny thing is, the two male guest speakers who say people must have children both have arrogant smug faces and attitude, both are pushy, controlling and defensive. Imagine what kind of people their children will become. You don’t do good for the world by being narrow minded and unaccepting of other peoples values.
From personal experience having child as a single parent with a dead beat dad, (father was deported) my son had no male mentors, partly my fault I was overprotective, it was extremely difficult as a full time working single parent whose boss didn't have children and I could take off to go to my child's after school activities so he didn't have any and I couldn't afford much anyways so usually I would have his friends sleep over on the weekends. And it was very hard to keep up with new and upcoming technologies so my child could compete with his peers. But it made me grow and the challenges made me smarter and understand that "things", that are not necessary, are a waste of money, and happiness is what you make it to be. Also having a child was a great motivator for me to want to make the world a better place and be a part of the solution rather then the problem.
What young couple can even afford to start out these days without kids? Do people see how much houses and apartments are? It caused a lot of financial stress on my wife and I, imagine these times… Thanks a lot Biden/Harris!!!
And having kids to take care of you in your old age isn’t selfish? 😂
Late seeing your video. Child FREE thankfully 😂🎉😂... Soaking in the hot cold mineral springs outside today
Having children can be mean for a lot to our life creating deep meaning of life as human being.
The guy with four kids is very much a know it all. He is irritating and you can tell the way that he is talking to other people that disagree with him that he thinks he is really something. Very self-righteous.
Why do you feel sad then when everyone around you got children and maybe even divorced once and had new children with a new partner and you feel left behind as a loser of life at 48 that never for the chance to find a partner and develop your own family… is this feeling only due to staying in touch with people that have kids or is it a natural feeling? Or a manipulated feeling by media and social pressure of what is considered “normal” and if you don’t follow this norm as now one like me is clearly bullied by relatives as the scapegoat child / black sheep and I am no more invited to baptism and birthdays and family dinners… is all gone since some years for me now… no cousins or relatives stay in touch with me as the only single man with no family or ex with kids either… I an looked upon as a abomination to them and the system they live in and mirror themselves in abs being self righteous about in how they treat me… I feel a lot of grief from their gaslighting me 😢
We human beings live on connection . So stay connected there are 7 billions people and billions of pet animals . We are part of nature so anytime you feel disconnected , go in nature and talk to them . We all have the calling sooner or later . Love and 🤗 from this side
my mother and mother in law are angry that i had many kids, they did not help me raise them, and they both wanted me to waste my life on making money. i grew up hating babies and kids. kids where a waste of time, got pregnant and now have 4 kids, i never felt maternal instinct until the first was born. i want to have more kids and are working on it. you are not born to want a child but it makes sense once you do.
i cannot imagine if any of my kids didnt exist.
Bizarre. Just bizarre.
When I was young, I became friends with a couple who had just had their third child. I always had fun when hanging with this family. That's when I realized that having children was cool!
Love this…some people will end a relationship solely because their partner doesn’t want kids….a conditional relationship!
Here’s one for you all :god said to Adam and Eve ,(go forth and populate the earth). Now if most of us don’t have children,people are just going to disappear from earth.and besides with just that few that do get blessed with children , sure going to make it hard to choose their spouse when they grow up.its a shame that we are losing our morals and values
Have you seen the population statistics?! We are reaching 10 billion! I don’t know what they are talking about in terms of depopulation, I’ll have to look into what that means! But we are far from needing more people on the earth. Secondly wanting to impose a moral obligation for everyone to have kids is not only judgmental, it’s dangerous. Children should be planed, and decided on by two loving hopefully married people, and if someone doesn’t want kids we shouldn’t make them feel obligated to do so! How sick is that! Bringing a baby into the world who they don’t want and won’t love properly! There’s so many parents in the world who shouldn’t be. Why not think of a children’s well being rather than your own religious beliefs. Everyone has their own journey and lessons that God wants them to learn, and for some people that doesn’t include children. Look at the foster care system! I think it’s wonderful when people decide to have children, and exciting! It’s also responsible, and self aware when someone decides they aren’t a good fit for having children because they know themselves.
😂 lmfao and having children so someone else may have a spouse in their future is not a valid reason for having a child, geez 🤦🏻♀️
The earth is pretty well populated by now. Those of us who choose not to have kids will always be in the minority, and I'm okay with that.
It does not take a village to raise a child just so you know folks. It does take two parents to do it well... Not more than that. I see it as not a responsibility to society, an opportunity. It is also a hope for the future , for society. It's like never using one of your lungs. You certainly get by most of the time. It will inhibit your choices. It will affect society.
the Blackstone couple are spot on
I think if people say they don’t want kids then they shouldn’t because then if they do, then they may be unhappy and that kid can end up with a bad life. Also I’m not sure if I had to start over in these times were going though I wouldn’t bring kids into this mess of a world. It’s bad enough as it is all of our trades jobs have been given to people that don’t even speak English. We are so flooded with people from other country’s that I don’t know where my grandkids are gonna work. I can already see my grandson is not good in school like I was, but the difference is I was able to be a carpenters helper and he will not have that chance. I’m worried for their future. I’m a plumber by trade, but it’s slowly going to illegals. I’m even worried about my future
Babies are a gift from God. I have two. I now wish I had had more. I love my kids more than my own life. It is truly a gift
Babies are screaming, noisy, headaches from hell.
I was young when I had my first kid I never thought about being a parent as a hassel or living my life alone
If I’d listened to this guy before telling women to have 2.1 kids. And viability is the most luscious chat up line I’ve ever heard 😂😂😂
As a parent to 7. I would not want them to have a "mentor" that doesnt want children. That does show a bit of some personality traits I wouldnt want my childrne to be around.
Our purpose in life is to have children. For those that can't have biological children, many of them have a very difficult time at some point (and some always will) in their life with depression & other mental health issues.
My purpose in life is to live it however i want. And i choose not to deal with filthy and revolting little children.
Love isn't what it means when all you want to be loving is your selfish self.
But either way all are loved and creation is destined to be fixed.
So people can only love kids, no brother, sister, mom, dad, grandparents, or extended family can love each other? Wow, dope has fried your brain. 😂😂😂😂
@@kaybrown7733 You completely misunderstood my message. Sure your not on crack?
Let me love my selfish self ALLL I WANT,don't make it your business, go on n be happy...
I love it when people say who’s paying tax for your kids to go to school? Well, who payed for yours buddy???
the women who are having more than 1 child makes up for those who choose not to have any. I’d rather people have children who want them than taking the risk that they don’t and than abuse them. My daughter would rather have a dog than a child and has one. I don’t wanna raise any children PERIOD
As a young person, I thought every married person should have a child. But as my daughter, one of 4 daughters and 5 of in total children, said she didn't want to have kids I changed my mind. Any one who doesn't want kids, shouldn't have babies. They shouldn't get pregnant and make absolutely sure they don't get pregnant. They can have pets and care and love their pets.
They don't have the capacity to sacrifice and devote to raise children. I would have never let them be with my kids without me or my husband by themselves. If, in an emergency, I don't think they would be able to save my kids in such a situation.
If people who don't want kids accidentally get pregnant, I don't think they would be able to raise the kids with how children should be raised. I wouldn't want them to be in positions to be caregivers of my child. They don't have the empathy or the experience that would be needed to understand things they would be going through.
Although, there are people who do have kids and they shouldn't have. There are horrible parents who are selfish and don't have the empathy and caring for another human being.
I think there should be a test, like a driver's lisence test before people procreate, in a perfect world.
If the human population is dropping, then that's survival of the best and needed for the human race.
Absolutely love being a mother. However, when you have children, your life is no longer your own. That being said, best decision I ever made. Now enjoying the grandchildren. If you have a good spouse, it’s easier.
I'd rather see people who don't want children to not have them rather than have them and be resentful.
I think having children is a personal decision. What I don’t agree with is glorifying it either way because the over glorified influence to have children or not to have children can be a stumbling block to someone else. Share your experience, but don’t expect others to live by it.
the father of 7: "what are you contributing to the world?" WOW!!!!!
I really feel sorry for people who are unable to find joy, happiness and fulfilment in life without having children. They are using children to fill a void in life that they are unable to fill themselves. They really are being very selfish.
"I know things & youre wrong" 😂😂😂
We have an affluent society, it allows for choice. It will not make or break humanity. Affluence leads to the ability to be "selfish", it arguably will lead to the downfall of society.
The choice to have a family means sacrifice, it means you're invested in the future. I have 4 kids, I love them all and will sacrifice everything I have for them.
One suffers from a diabilitating mental disorder, a healthy parent suffers with their children as much as shares in their joys. It is no picnic, but it does include them.
Not having children, to me, is like a never ending picnic, like "Groundhog Day", it would be insufferable. Tomorrow would have no meaning, the state of society would have no meaning, accomplishments of timeless things like the founding fathers, Martin Luther King Jr etc. would less likely be invisioned.
They were invested in the future in a tangible way, not purely intellectual.
To be fair, the revolutions of society, the desperate, brutality of these were parents determined to establish a future for their children.
Who would you want in the foxhole beside you defending freedom? The purely intellectual or the tangibly invested?
I would be disappointed if one of my children chose not to have kids, I think it is a deficiency in the human spirit. As is entitlement/ indivualism.
Societal affluence breeds all these things, they always exist but affluence gives room to grow. This makes society weak and if it becomes dominant enough will lead to its downfall. Part of the deep polarity we see today is this dynamic. When the individual is raised to such a high level they believe they are the center of existence. They rely on their own feelings and believe that is reality instead of that reality is something we fit into and ultimately framed by a source outside ourselves.
Our affect on that reality has profound effects on others reality, whether we are a tyrant or help the widow or orphan. One is the ultimate individualist the other self sacrificing. Our every decision determines defines how that permeates our lives. So I do think society is negatively affected by this becoming a trend, not that we don't have the affluence to absorb it but it doesn't contribute to a sustainable society. If we were in a less affluent society it would lead to its destruction, but my practice of preserving individual freedom so my kids can prosper, protects the things I morally disagree with. The overall charm is, I have 4 people I have a chance of instilling selfsacrifice in, the trends in society today that promote self centeredness, have none, it is self defeating. The misunderstanding of protecting the individual to the individual is the center can be defeated by instilling selfsacrifice with its rewards in our children, and pointing out the meaninglessness of purely temporal existence.
I work with old people. Those with children have no regrets, whether their family comes around or not.
Those without children are extremely lonely and miserable. They always have regret. It’s very tragic.
Buuuullllllshit. Both my favorite aunts never had kids and until their dying day were surrounded by people and didn’t regret a damn thing. Project much ?
Thanks for sharing they would confine in you and you would have heard a lot true stores and opinions from both sides.
Not all people are meant to be parents.
I can't stand kids. Glad my wife doesn't like them either
And the teen just like both of us all stressed out trying to earn our cars,work pt and go to high school and college by the time were 25 both of us feel like we're 60 rich people have all the kids you want while middle class kids have different life problems
I wouldn’t want to fail a child!
I think the issue here is women (and maybe men, I'm not one so idk) are being told that having a child takes all of your independence, ruins your body, ruins your life, that you're a slave to your biological clock, and that you must sacrifice your entire life and identity to being a mother. Thats not true and it's almost evil that this is so pervasive. I fell pray to this most of my life and am now a mother, Dr Phil has points about the nasty reasons that people have children, but that's not everyone's reason to not have children.
Jeremy Boring said that one of God's biggest graces is allowing those who choose not to have children to be ignorant of what they're missing
Edit: I have children and never once felt the desire to have them and yet they are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am a sahm and I'd never go back. You have absolutely no idea what you're missing. And no, parenthood isn't for everyone, but a lot of people have been coerced into believing they don't want them. I was one of them and thankfully I didn't let that coercion win.
I think if you don’t want kids, you shouldn’t have them but I don’t agree with brainwashing our kids to not have them. I don’t think we should persuade them with the joys of being childless. Let them figure it out with their family and loved ones … schools and media should stick to teaching kids to learn skills to be self sustaining, contributing humans … leave morals to their family … but then you they would have to have children, hmmm
I have one child and one cat, my cat makes me upset more than my kid does.
Best decision I ever made for MYSELF was to not have children.
People need to mind their own business. If someone chooses to not have children that's their business.
My favorite part of this episode was when Dr. Phil questioned each person who had kids for reason xyz. They had the most odd and weirdest reasoning behind having kids. I thought you had kids because you love kids and/or because you wanted to start a family with your partner? These people are so ass backwards in their logic.
I will pick a dog over a baby. I don’t want to be pregnant and I never have wanted to have kids until I met my fiancé but he can no longer have kids. I say my kids have paws and I have a bonus kiddo that my fiancé had from his previous marriage.
I also like to think the way I grew is another reason why I don’t want kids. I had four younger sisters, I took them to school, dance practices, picked them up from school, made sure they ate before and after school, etc etc. all the things a mom does. Doesn’t make me their mom, but I did all of that and more and felt like I already had my kids by constantly taking care of them.
I’m a mother w/ 2 daughters & now a grandmother w/2 grandsons. I’m blessed & grateful for all of them. It seemed to me that the guests w/the children were WAY more judgmental & argumentative than the guests who’ e made the choice not to hv kids. It kinda bothered me, because we’ve all seen examples of people that hv NO business being parents.
they found some boring guests. i get bombarded with being the destroyer of the climate, and a waste of brain woman, because i have 4 and want more. i have feminist mother and mother in law who are angry at me for making kids instead of wasting my life on a career. and none of them helped with the kids, never watched them or anything. but they value friendships more than family,