I felt no fear... I see transparency and discussion as deeply healthy and something I CRAVE. I only felt freedom, when calling out his behaviors and expressing kindly my boundaries and standards... I am doing so good on my healing journey! This all has felt SO GOOD on a cellular level I almost cried!
3:50 I work with humans. Special in relationships. If a person is struggling with their own feelings … in or out, I make it easy for them. I only ask once, if the behavior continues I am out… my lifetime is valuable and I don’t waste time anymore….😮🎉❤🎉
If you’re secure you recognize it and respond accordingly. I dated one man twice the second time I saw the manipulation, the stonewalling, gaslighting and breadcrumbing. I even picked up on some contempt. Needless to say I ran for the hills.
Dated a girl who was 1 of 8 children. She's definitely was a fearful avoidant. Don't think I've ever dated anyone like her before. Seemed like an uphill battle with little to no idea how she felt about the relationship.. actually made me anxious.. not worth the effort for sure.
My last ex drove me crazy and depressed. Broke up with me out of the blue, when things were looking great, said I did nothing wrong, then trying to fix things to get back together was painfully slow, and she kept putting up barriers making up new reasons why she had left, said I'd cheated when I hadn't, breadcrumbing and moving the goalpost. I finally realized that my sanity was more important, that just like my other exes, I love them, but can't be with them for one reason or another.
@dankline9162 thank you for sharing that with me. I think I've only dated 1 other girl like this... definitely a new experience for me. I'm not sure it's worth the headache.. I doubt we'd ever get to the point where the relationship seems "normal"
If you fall into the rabbit hole and think you are the problem when dating an avoidant, I strongly suggest to fall way deeper! This only happens if you watch the "breakup/get your ex back" coaches. The really good ones that have a moral compass and an idea what they are talking about, nearly never say you are the problem and would never say to go back to an avoidant and expect different results just because you try harder (the avoidant has to do the majority of the work!) Ken Reids, and with a little more pep, Welcome to the other half. There are many more. (More theoretically (Heidi Preibe), more focused on your emotional healing (Coach Ryan)... )
Thank you. I did seek help from a lot of coaches to try and get my ex back. Tried everything, but nothing worked. So I've just been working on myself, to just be happy alone. I'm actually an avoidant too, not quite in the same way, not emotionally/romantically, but bc of my mental conditions, leading to slow processing, I can only deal with so much, so I have to limit how much I expose myself to socially, and am picky with who I associate with. But if I love someone, I tend to become the anxious type, ofc trying to be more secure. And I'm definitely not as dismissive/avoidant as she was.
@@dankline9162 your comment is very well articulated and I can relate a lot since I also tried to get him back but decided it was too emotionally exhausting and I'd rather just work on healing my ownself and learn to be secure. What we both are experiencing is fearful avoidance attachment leaning on anxious attachment ,ie, feeling anxious when we're paired with Dismissive avoidants since we want closeness and intimacy while finding it overwhelming and hard to trust new people even if they're secure and good intentioned. I hope we both heal from this because we deserve the love we want to give out in the world. But what I have learned from the book "wisdom of a broken heart" by Susan Piver is that fixating on having something in life takes away the beauty of the present and one way or the other love will somehow always break our heart since we are essentially mortal beings and even if we find what we're looking for in another person,they won't always be there physically and will eventually die or we might die before them, point being that we should stay true to our values,not play games and even if we don't have a romantic partner,it is absolutely okay to be by ourselves and have a full life,if we do find the other person,we should appreciate and love them entirely without having the idea that they will fix us or being with them will heal us from this existential pain, because it won't since they will have their own pains ,the love then blooms in creating a meaningful time together and knowing that it's not about the destination it's about the journey you take by yourself and together
Pretty sure I fell into the rabbit hole of avoidant and breadcrumming! Hadn't heard from him in 5m he asked me out to catch up, said yes gave him my availability because he asked and nothing back from him.
Want to explore coaching? You can book a session here >> www.katyamorozova.me/single-session/
This old lady at my local park breadcrumbs me every day, and I always fall for it. But then again, I am a duck. Quack.
I felt no fear... I see transparency and discussion as deeply healthy and something I CRAVE. I only felt freedom, when calling out his behaviors and expressing kindly my boundaries and standards... I am doing so good on my healing journey! This all has felt SO GOOD on a cellular level I almost cried!
3:50 I work with humans. Special in relationships. If a person is struggling with their own feelings … in or out, I make it easy for them. I only ask once, if the behavior continues I am out… my lifetime is valuable and I don’t waste time anymore….😮🎉❤🎉
Seems sound to me!
Thank you Katya, for the comprehensive detail and articulated with clarity.
My pleasure! : )
Thank you, I needed to hear this...!!
I’m so glad!
That THANK YOU from your client's breadrumber feels like a million dollars!
If you’re secure you recognize it and respond accordingly. I dated one man twice the second time I saw the manipulation, the stonewalling, gaslighting and breadcrumbing. I even picked up on some contempt. Needless to say I ran for the hills.
It sounds like you’re learning to trust your gut instincts. 🙌
Dated a girl who was 1 of 8 children. She's definitely was a fearful avoidant. Don't think I've ever dated anyone like her before. Seemed like an uphill battle with little to no idea how she felt about the relationship.. actually made me anxious.. not worth the effort for sure.
My last ex drove me crazy and depressed. Broke up with me out of the blue, when things were looking great, said I did nothing wrong, then trying to fix things to get back together was painfully slow, and she kept putting up barriers making up new reasons why she had left, said I'd cheated when I hadn't, breadcrumbing and moving the goalpost. I finally realized that my sanity was more important, that just like my other exes, I love them, but can't be with them for one reason or another.
@dankline9162 thank you for sharing that with me. I think I've only dated 1 other girl like this... definitely a new experience for me. I'm not sure it's worth the headache.. I doubt we'd ever get to the point where the relationship seems "normal"
If you fall into the rabbit hole and think you are the problem when dating an avoidant, I strongly suggest to fall way deeper!
This only happens if you watch the "breakup/get your ex back" coaches.
The really good ones that have a moral compass and an idea what they are talking about, nearly never say you are the problem and would never say to go back to an avoidant and expect different results just because you try harder (the avoidant has to do the majority of the work!)
Ken Reids, and with a little more pep, Welcome to the other half.
There are many more. (More theoretically (Heidi Preibe), more focused on your emotional healing (Coach Ryan)... )
Honestly just someone calling out bad behavior without excuses is helpful.
Yes heidi priebe and coach Ryan are gems! They give no nonsense insights and practical advice
Thank you. I did seek help from a lot of coaches to try and get my ex back. Tried everything, but nothing worked. So I've just been working on myself, to just be happy alone. I'm actually an avoidant too, not quite in the same way, not emotionally/romantically, but bc of my mental conditions, leading to slow processing, I can only deal with so much, so I have to limit how much I expose myself to socially, and am picky with who I associate with. But if I love someone, I tend to become the anxious type, ofc trying to be more secure. And I'm definitely not as dismissive/avoidant as she was.
@@dankline9162 your comment is very well articulated and I can relate a lot since I also tried to get him back but decided it was too emotionally exhausting and I'd rather just work on healing my ownself and learn to be secure. What we both are experiencing is fearful avoidance attachment leaning on anxious attachment ,ie, feeling anxious when we're paired with Dismissive avoidants since we want closeness and intimacy while finding it overwhelming and hard to trust new people even if they're secure and good intentioned. I hope we both heal from this because we deserve the love we want to give out in the world. But what I have learned from the book "wisdom of a broken heart" by Susan Piver is that fixating on having something in life takes away the beauty of the present and one way or the other love will somehow always break our heart since we are essentially mortal beings and even if we find what we're looking for in another person,they won't always be there physically and will eventually die or we might die before them, point being that we should stay true to our values,not play games and even if we don't have a romantic partner,it is absolutely okay to be by ourselves and have a full life,if we do find the other person,we should appreciate and love them entirely without having the idea that they will fix us or being with them will heal us from this existential pain, because it won't since they will have their own pains ,the love then blooms in creating a meaningful time together and knowing that it's not about the destination it's about the journey you take by yourself and together
One of the best advices
So glad!
Pretty sure I fell into the rabbit hole of avoidant and breadcrumming! Hadn't heard from him in 5m he asked me out to catch up, said yes gave him my availability because he asked and nothing back from him.
Thanks for sharing. It's important to realize that this type of behavior can be very confusing, and act accordingly!
Step 6, follow through with your actions. Get a coach who will think clearly and help you stay the course.
Great idea! 🙌
Im always skeptical of the information being given in these videos. But you definitely seem on point. Thank you.
I’m glad to hear this feel on point. 🙌
Just watched to find out what breadcrumbing meant.
🙏
Perhaps.. breadcrumbing..is a front for hypergamy. Mostly chicks...but men to....too weak to admit.they are playing the field.....
lookup hypergamy