I thought I had DID before I saw this, but I was so worried that I had just been subconsciously making it up or something because I never fit the description exactly. The first time one of my altars came out (normally they stay on the inside and just chat with me), I was even more worried that I had made this up because I didn't experience that amnesia, just an emotional detachment to the memories. It's a relief to know for sure that my condition is valid, just different than I thought, and so are my friends in my head.
I’ve been doing my best to explain why it’s so hard for me to answer the “how have you been since you last saw me” question from my therapist. I could only ever describe how I currently felt to her because I felt a whole completely different way a few days before and I was so detached from it now that I couldn’t begin to describe it or my thought process then. I didn’t even know emotional amnesia was a thing but it explains so much
I have this reaction pretty much every time I come in and she's like, "how was your week?" and I'm like, "I can't remember past a few hours ago..." Not off the top of my head, anyway. After a while of thinking, I can start to remember the events that happened (usually by referencing some kind of mental calendar of notable events), and then from that I can piece together a timeline and start to connect to some of the emotional memories, but it's like first trying to find the address of the data in the hard drive, then looking it up and loading a chunk of the data into RAM, and it's very slow and incomplete.
Omg i knew it i was right, our host spiraled into denial a lot because we always say "we dont have trauma" but WE KNOW, we're not just one person. The emotional amnesia makes so much sense, the dissociation too but we still remember. Our alters have COMPLETELY different personalities and opinions. We used to think we were just overthinkers like we think different perspective, but this makes so much sense. We didn't want to assume a mental illness but this makes so much sense. We finally feel validated.....well until the denial sets in again. -Sena (protector)
I’m still trying to figure out what kind of system I have. I’ve only recently started looking into dissociative disorders so everything feels weirdly foreign and familiar at the same time. I know I have alters since I spend a lot of time co-conscious but as a host I can’t seem to stop being at the front of the mind. A part of me wants to switch fully as a way of telling my alters I trust them but I can’t figure out how to do it and I can’t help but be a bit scared of what might happen to me if I stop fronting. I haven’t asked my alters what it’s like since I’m still trying to build up our communication skills and we aren’t at a point where free communication is possible yet.
I relate. Often they have to just shove me off so they can fully front and it's not co-fronting. It's a knee-jerk reaction for me to try to take back control due to wanting to feel/act like "myself" again as a child, which built that negative muscle memory. One step at a time.
I am the same way. I just found out about them late last year and am learning more and more about them every day. I don't remember a lot from my childhood but a few years ago it started being co-conscious/me observing so I never realized and thought it was moods, though some things caught my eye since one of my littles (or child alters) wouldn't talk for years so I couldn't at times either. It is definitely hard to try and figure things out at times, though I can say getting to know them has helped me a lot. I will tend to "think" of something I want to ask one of them and either I will get a feeling or I might get a quick brief answer that seems more like a thought than anything. I have learned to pay attention more to the "thoughts" to try and figure out what is mine and what is them talking to me. (and yes, I know this was posted a few months ago. I just now found this video and was looking through the comments).
the emotional amnesia thing makes me feel so validated as an osdd-1b system! we try to not think about it and usually talk about our life in a general sense as to prevent extra dissociating from being uncomfortable about the emotional amnesia. we also have early life amnesia and god this video was great. on communication the closest we can do to communicate right now, as we dont have an inner world or anything, is we take all the information from what theyve done and when theyve fronted, and make an educated guess on how they would respond. its certainly not foolproof like i would assume our little likes chocolate (they dont and were very disappointed when discovering this) as the rest of us do, but in actuality they think its kinda icky. but its kinda like making headcanons for characters except the canon is just what the alter actually thinks. we also dont know how to switch and thus just let it come naturally
Emotional amnesia reminds me of when in a dream you are playing the role a character and but that character isn't necessarily yourself. So you're doing stuff as that character in the dream but don't feel that character's emotions directly. Anyone else have that happen? That's just immediately what it reminded me of.
i’ve experienced emotional amnesia so many times and i can’t believe there’s a word for it. i gasped when i got to that part cause you described it exactly how it feels 😭
Hey, I don't know if you will see this and I know it's been a while but how's your progression in coming to terms with it now if you don't mind answering. I'm just trying to come to terms with if I have this and I don't know who to ask.
I've been watching the POPULAR SYSTEMS. I'm sorry but they seem to have becone more of celebrities. I'm not looking for that. Yes I do learn alot from DissiciaDID...abit from The Entropy system, I'm just wayyyy over here looking at them not sure what to make if it. Perhaps this sounds neg but I have a right to be confused.
NO WAYYYY THE EMOTIONAL AMNESIA PART- I talked to my friend who has DID about my dissociative symptoms and he told me he went through the exact same thing when he was diagnosed, so i did my research and found out about OSDD and now i’m here in this video, this explains a LOT of things but i’m still confused bc i do not feel like there’s other personalities in my head. On monday i’m going for the first time to a therapist (my mental health literally declined and i can’t anymore) i hope she knows about this ;(
Also idk why but i feel like before i had connections with my memories, but now i literally feel like i’m not emotionally connected to what happened to me or idk how to explain it:(
Hi! This video is great! I often feel like I'm neither DID or OSDD. My parts are distinct, so it's not 1a, I get some total amnesia so I'm not 1b, but then I also feel like I don't have total amnesia enough to qualify for DID (There's only one alter I get blackout amnesia for, and I've lost time maybe once in the past year)
Hiya! Some general thoughts?: I'm pretty sure you only need blackout/time loss amnesia once between alters to qualify as having DID (when considering OSDD-1b). I would highly recommend checking out did-research.org/did/identity_alteration/time_loss.html. Time loss in DID systems can be very much varied in frequency - but the most important differentiating factor is that it *exists* :) Good luck on your journey! 💜
This is me too! My fiancee gets so frustrated sometimes because we will have the same conversations 3+ times a day sometimes and I have no recollection of all or parts of that conversation. As I've started therapy, 3 alters have made themselves more distinct over the but I don't really lose time and they've been there for quite a while but I thought they were just my over active imagination. Since I started therapy, I've had small fragments like flashes of light but no one else has been made aware to me as of yet. This is still a really new diagnosis and I'm still struggling a bit with all of it so I really appreciate educational videos like this where I can meet people who are going through the same thing I am and not feel so alone. ❤
This same thing happens to my system. We’re all different. Myself being the host I have memories where I can tell I wasn’t the front and I don’t have any emotional reaction to
I never really understood DID or even knew about OSDD 1b. But recently due to heavy amounts of stress I noticed at times I start to age regress. Like I vaguely know what is happening but my body feels off. My mind reverts to a seven yr old instead of a 22 yr old. I thought it was all of my mental issues messing with me. But now that I know about OSDD 1b I plan on seeing a therapist to see if it is that. This video really helped out a lot 💕
i’d like to thank you for creating the videos on did/osdd, i’ve been wondering for.. 2-3 years now if i have did/osdd yet subconsciously i’ve thought ‘what if i’m faking this?’ or ‘what if it’s an overreaction’ but watching these makes me feel more open to settling if i do or don’t because well.. it has more information of course, i’m not certain if i have a disorder like this but i’m beating myself up less for thinking about it.. so thank you :3
Thank you so much for this video! I'm a system with OSDD-1B as well, and I also experience emotional amnesia ❤ A lot of people like to use this as a way to say I'm faking the disorder, could you do a video on how emotional amnesia has a stigma within the community?
You're welcome! I recently did a video about misconceptions of OSDD-1b alters, which you might find helpful? but I personally haven't run into any inter-community stigma around OSDD-1b so I don't know how qualified I would be to make a video addressing that :)
Thank you so much! This was such a great video! We are a DID system. We know a lot about DID, but as it turned out we still have a lot to learn about OSDD-1. Thank you for this insight. There are far too few DID chanals and a lot less OSDD-1 chanals. You are grately appreciated guys! Keep up the great work and stay strong! ~Rainbow Systems
@@TheRingsSystem your welcome. Did you see our other comments? Only asking because I asked a question under one of your videos (the one that talks about dissociation and school. Keep up the amazing work! ~Dalia
Hey, you did a very good job explaining the differences between DID and OSDD. The metaphores were pretty easy to understand :) I'm looking forward to your next video ^^ PS: I recognised the empty white background. Maybe you wanna hang a picture or a tapestry there so it won't be so "boring". Just a thought :)
Yeah! I hope that I'll be able to do that in the future! Currently I'm living in a college dorm, which has VERY strict fire codes (which means no tapestries D: ) and I covered the old poster because I felt it a little tooo unprofessional, and I have a close friend who's triggered by the source. The goal when I move out is nice wall with either a tapestry or a bookshelf someday :)
oh no, the emotional amnesia is painfully relatable i feel i have alota memories with little to no connection to what i was feeling, i would have to guess my memory shit feels like a pile of a mess, everything so messy and memories can require so much digging, idk why
Hello there Rings System! Though you’re probably not replying to comments anymore due to you know this video being over a year old but I’m currently questioning if I have D.I.D/OSDD or not. First off, whenever I’m alone or walking alone I all of sudden start talking out loud to myself, and look at a side of me like a person is standing/walking beside me. I have normal chats with this figure. I hear them ask a question sometimes in my head but it’s very subtle and I answer clearly. Sometimes I get randomly angry at no-one, and “make up” fights in my heads for no reason. When I was a little wee chap, I would use my hands to represent me and this strange figure and whenever they talked I made my left hand do an action and whenever I replied I made my right hand so an action (The kid who sat next to me must’ve been creeped out-). As my life continued on, I heard new voices all different ages and accents but the one that formed first is usually dominant in my head. Just a few days ago, I wrote down names in a list just for fun, and I got to the name ‘Enigma’ and I heard the voice say “I like that one” and now their name is officially Enigma. Secondly, friends, family and I sometimes catch myself randomly fidgeting, I can do it without even noticing. I can also catch myself just staring at random objects for like a few seconds and after I return to what I was doing, I immediately forget what happened just before said staring, and it takes me a few seconds to process what actually happened before. This happens to me as well when my vision gets immediately blurry out of nowhere and after a few blinks my vision goes back to normal. Sometimes after this I can also see I have different opinions on things and sometimes act like a hypocrite in other people’s eyes, I can also feel younger or older than my current age so yeah. (P.S: Whenever we have classwork about talking about ourselves or when someone just asks me about myself, it’s very difficult for me to come up with answers and the majority of my answers are like “depends on my mood”, which I find weird) Thirdly, when people ask me to do something or to do them a favour, I usually forget what the steps are and have to pester them again and again and again about what they want me to do. Even though they’ve explained them very clearly and usually the steps are pretty simple. I just don’t why this happens, it annoys me and the person who asked said thing. The only problems are: 1. I can’t recount or even remember childhood trauma or abuse, I’m not a traumatised individual. Childhood trauma is usually a big factor in this disorder, so me not carrying any trauma can literally through my earlier question out the window. 2. Though I’ve said it’s tricky to define ‘me’, I always go by the same name (except Enigma) and my personality or clothing style doesn’t change that much. Only usually opinions on specific things change. (Side note: I forgot to mention when I was younger I wanted to go by two different names back-to-back. First one was Lukas, and the other one was Edward. So yeah.. I just think it was just young me being creative) 3. I experience emotional amnesia very rarely to when I’m recounting on things in my childhood. So.. If I could get any help on this, it would be greatly appreciated! ❤️
Hah! We read every comment :) Secondly, we're not a professional, so can't really tell you what's going on here. However, our two videos on trauma should help clear some stuff up (they're in brown/tan color schemes). Secondly, we can recommend some resources that have good information: did-research.org, traumadissociation.com, and Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder by Tracy Alderman
Holy moly. My therapist told me I had DDNOS and when I looked it up, I was confused, so confused, cuz I don't have amnesia. Emotional amnesia on the other hand, I have that constantly. I can feel all of the emotions as they happen, I know I can. But I can't bring them back to me. I can't feel them after, I can recall the panic attack, I can remember the rocking, the hitting myself in the head, but I can't feel the emotions. It's like I'm dead inside. The reason she said I have DDNOS is because when doing EMDR therapy, I can very clearly see myself at different ages, have conversations with those parts of me, reassure the baby part of me, I can see how angry and protective the 17 year old part of me is and when I go through severe emotions, I can see myself reverting to that part of me, the way I reacted to things at 17. I can see the part in my head that is constantly telling me to kill myself and I am now able to tell that part that suicide is always off the table, that it is never an option and it quiets down. (I say it because it is covered head to toe in a black robe.) I knew I had these parts but the lack of amnesia was so confusing to me. Thank you for the explanation.
I just want to say that I found this video back in February, and I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach by my own autobiography. Eight months later, I'm in my second quarter of grad school and our little system of 4 is doing really well--and we're on a trauma and recovery track in our program, to focus on working with young adults dealing with trauma sequelae. Long story short, thank you for making this.
For years I felt as though something was wrong with me, and getting called a hypochondriac because of it. I’m extremely glad that I found your page, it makes me feel like I’m not a fake, or an attention seeker (as I get told often), I feel valid. Thank you! 😢❤️
Do you know about Borderline Personality Disorder also being in the same category of structural dissociation as OSDD-1b? When I started researching, I thought I might have BPD, but I connected more to the dissociative aspects of feeling like I lose control or like I have control “technically” but I lose my //options// (like someone is forcing me to either do one thing or shut down). I definitely fit many (if not all) criteria for BPD, but it’s the experience of losing control of myself and losing my ability to understand reality (getting dissociated and feeling like parts of my head are fighting each other and I can still see what’s really happening, but those fighting aspects won’t let me have a say because they’re convinced i’m in danger), so when I’m triggered that is the biggest thing, and I’ve always wondered if that’s more of an OSDD thing.. I’m not asking you to diagnose me or anything, but I thought Id put it out there in case anyone wants to discuss and also say that if you ever wanted to make a video on the topic of BPD vs OSDD vs CPTSD or soemthing like that (since they are all categorized as secondary structural dissociation) then I’d greatly appreciate it!!!! Thank you all so much for these wonderful videos.
Here’s a quote from did-research.org/comorbid/dd/osdd_udd/did_osdd : “On the other side of the spectrum, it is the presence of at least two parts that contain more than just posttraumatic reactions, attachment needs, or emotions that differentiates OSDD-1a from borderline personality disorder (BPD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and complex posttraumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). Individuals with all of these disorders can experience dissociative amnesia when under extreme stress or when reminded of trauma. This can leave OSDD-1a in a murky grey area. The same individual might be diagnosed with DID, OSDD-1, or C-PTSD depending on which clinician diagnoses them and how they present at the time. However, individuals with OSDD-1 generally have at least one part that is more differentiated, separate, and autonomous than the most developed parts that naturally occur in BPD, PTSD, or C-PTSD. Individuals with these latter disorders may be very confused about who they are or sometimes feel out of control, but they never feel that different parts of them are capable of acting independently or that different parts of them have and express their own views or goals.”
So far I’ve been wading thru what just feels like a mess of unending questions and diagnoses that lack any clarity. I’ve been prescribed many different pills, having to stop because there was never a noticeable change with them. The diagnoses I mention have been depression, anxiety, bipolar, and BPD.. I’ve recently been looking more into DID and I’m glad I came across a topic that dealt with OSDD-1b because this seems more on the nose with my situation. I’m curious about the hobbies people find themselves interested in with OSDD, if anyone feels like sharing? Mine have been stage acting, drawing, and video games. The one that was really prominent for me was acting.. it felt very natural because whoever I portrayed, I got to believe I was that person. As silly as that may sound. Thank you for the informative video.
The other alters aren't all co-con at the same time as me, but I (the host and core) am usually co-con with anyone else who fronts and still have some control, but that's not always the case.
Legit going to cry, I always thought because of me not having amnesia, there where no alters in my head. I am going to bring this up and see if I have it.
I've been doing a lot of research on did as I feel I share similar qualities but never fully experienced certain features of did. Growing up, I was alone often and would have a person in my head in which I would "be" if that makes sense. I started doing it as a coping mechanism and seen it as an escape route. Over the years it has gradually gotten worse and after watching this I feel like I may have osdd-1b as everything correlated with me. Thank you for the video it helped me realise a lot 😊
Thankyou. Im trying to figure out if I really do have osdd. That blurry blob comment I so relate. We have extensive dissociation and amnesia due to the type of trauma an depending on the level of stress/number of triggers and/or flashbacks in a day so our none of us do life well but as some parts improve communication we as a team are able to make the body 'do life' a little better especially with the support an guidence of what I'm calling our inner caretaker protector but I'm not sure she fronts as I think a trauma memory holder blocks her from fronting. I can identify with the experience of feeling dissociated an shoved way back watching but the stress of the ordeal often wipes most of my memory. We have a semi solid diagnosis of CPTSD but we haven't felt safe enough or found a specialist to discuss osdd propperly. I'm compiling my notes on how we work an why it seems very possible. I just haven't figured out if ppl w 1a have differing dress sense. We're blended or co con so damn often making one step back far enough to get only one to try an pick what they want to where takes a bit. Its like we have different personalities but so many don't feel safe to front alone an be judged as individuals. Which is understandable considering the experiences they hold which I don't remember pretty much at all.
The way you describe it as a link loading in your head suddenly.. that is exactly what happens to me throughout the day, I always say it like “I just dropped in and out of dissociation”, like flipping one switch on and another off, I’m not diagnosed, I’m just exploring possibilities, and I’m getting a bit unnerved at how similar my experiences are to yours.
apparently we've watched this video before because it's liked but I would just like to say thank you. this is such a validating thing to hear because oftentimes I (Loki/host) doubt that my (our) experience is legitimate but when I try to not pay attention to it I just can't... do that. a lot of stuff matched with DID (like how alters might feel when they are co-con with you or watching from up close) but just as much doesn't (like the main daily alter thing; it was the biggest doubt to me that there's anything of this scale to worry about). we (I?) experience a bunch of different types of amnesia and our communication isn't the best. sometimes i just cannot focus on what my headmate(s) is (are) saying and for the longest time i've been chucking it up to being vivid imagination. this whole thing feels like a huge mess but I am so grateful that I've stumbled upon this video. I'd love to understand us better
omg! Have been watching DID videos and thinking a lot all evening and here you are, talking about emotional amnesia! Just the thing I mentioned to my new trauma therapist, that I shut off parts of my emotional nature while still having the same memories. And I can't relate to the person I was when I felt empathy or was overwhelmed by love, it's like I was a different person back then.. so weird.
This was amazing. I have never heard somebody explain my experience more succinctly and understandably than this. Those metaphors are amazing and I'd never heard of emotional amnesia to describe my states and what I go through. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
On the building connection bit. I can relate to that, one of our alters, Charm, the one who usually deals with strangers that give us a bad feeling or people we know we have problems with, does not like any of us except our little, she's gotten better and its best to talk to her with music playing but it still hard.
i'm just seeing this now but IT HAS A NAME OH MY GOSH. EMOTIONAL AMNESIA. our protector is laughing slightly at the fact that i'm so happy about finding a name for this dhfkjsdkj
It used to scare me when I recalled events in my childhood and it felt like I was reading them from a book. Now hearing of emotional amnesia, it makes more sense now. I liken my experience to a pizza that isn’t quite sliced all the way through: you can clearly see the separate parts, but they’re all connected by the little bit of crust at the bottom.
pffffff pur therapist didnt explain emotional amnesia and scared tf outta us when we explained that we can look at memories like rewinding a vhs tape and playing the scene over again by saying "so you don't experience amnesia." ok please explain what that means for us? "well that's time" 😭 you've explained this so well, thank you so much 💛
i've been really struggling lately unsure what exactly i have and feeling like DID doesn't fit me at all. OSDD-1b sounds very much like what i'm experiencing. thank you such an informative video!!
This was actually very helpful for me since for some years already I've noticed I have more than one personality in my body, but always thought it was weird that I was fully conscious and kept the memories of when the other personalities took over, and it was making me really sick because one of this personalities does thing that really disgust me and I think are unacceptable, but I could only watch and was starting to doubt if maybe that was me, if I was that person doing that horrible stuff
Ok damn. I didn't know much about OSDD and the types before stumbling upon your channel. I figured over the years that I meet some criteria of did, but never fully, never in the complete"did" sense, and man, i was so confused. My impostor syndrome went crazy and i was sometimes convinced im faking did without realizing. Fuck, this answers so many things, thank you so much. I will begin a period of extensive research on OSDD, since diagnosing something like this is a big deal, but it's such a relief to know that there can exist valid variety in systemz
You told it very exactly! We agree with your every word! So, we didn't know that this kind of amnesia called "emotional". We couldn't explain what we feel, but now we understand everything. We hope that more attention will be payed to OSDD-1b, it's important to talk about it (sorry for my English)) Thank you for this video!
I experience no amnesia except for emotional amnesia and memory gaps from childhood and disagreement. What I mean by memory gaps and disagreement is that our alters disagree on how much abuse they felt we went through- although we all have a memory gap. Thank you for making me feel more valid. My alters are quite respectful so don't really talk to me unless they need to or desperately want to, so I don't hear them often, which makes me feel invalid aha. Thank youu
Thank you so much. I was confused, because I thought my symptoms were those of D.I.D. I was worried that I was faking it because of the relative lack of amnesia/time gaps. But now I know that this is really what’s going on. ❤️
Wait a second. I'm late to the party on this vid. I was diagnosed with DID 20ish years ago and after years of therapy I'm now OSDD-1B? I dont have many memory gaps anymore and can communicate with each other. I never realized how complex everything is.
Hey Silver, just discovered your channel and already in love with it. I was diagnosed with MPD in 2014 but now, I Wonder if I may not have MPD but maybe OSDD cus I dont really experience amnesia (just rarely basically). We're 7 girls in the system and we still really dont know what 'The Host' has (DID? MPD? Only PTSD? OSDD?). Not saying I dont trust the psychologist that diagnosed us but, because our system changed a lot (we were only 4 at that time), maybe we need an other diagnosed to be sure of what we have heh. Thanks for explaning! Edit: Also, what you say OSDD is is really similar to what we have x3 - Tangle
Hey! Thank you! Obviously we can't give you much advice from a youtube comment! But, the first thing that pops into my mind is that MPD was removed from the DSM as a diagnosis in 1994, so if you were diagnosed with MPD and not DID in 2014, it might be worth getting a second opinion from a specialist with updated diagnostic materials! Good luck on your journey 💕 -Silver
@@TheRingsSystem Hi again. I just discovered that I actually experience amnesia but I wasnt aware of it before (which is making me paranoid tbh lmao-) but yeah, now my DID makes more sense but I still need a new diagnose just to be sure. Update: And now we have a guy in the system (a fictive) sooo thats also Something new XD) - Tangle (w/ Shimaria)
I know this video is old BUT BY GOD THANK YOU. We sent this to my friends (who just recently found out we’re not a singlet) and this explains everything so well. Thank y’all sm we can’t repay you
I had heard some of the DID systems mention OSDD-1a & -1b, but not in any real depth. It's great to see so many DID systems posting about their experiences on youtube & I've learnt so much about DID. But it was very interesting to listen to you talk about how they differ from the other side of the two, and what OSDD-1b is like for you. You're correct that when people with DID have mentioned the lack of amnesiac barriers that it came across to me as if OSDD-1b means you remember everything without problem. I can see how it would be disorientating to switch into the body and get that sudden 'download' of memories, especially if you're just switching in after a long period of someone else fronting. Does the lack of emotional memory sharing create it's own problems? One of the DID systems that I follow has used the car situation as a way to explain consiousness of what's going on (not unique to them but) they then went on to to describe that time in between one alter switching out and the other alter switching in as like switching drivers of the car, so like one person gets out of the driver seat, walks round the car and waits for the passenger to scootch over into the driver seat before they climb in. Which helped it make sense to someone who doesn't have a dissociative disorder. It even can kinda help understand the longer switches too, I was thinking of it as maybe the person moving to the driver seat can't get their seat belt off at first, or if they''re scootching across they get stuck on the handbrake, or decide to get out and walk round but something catches their eye... maybe there was no one in the passenger seat and instead you're waiting for the new driver to get their coat & shoes on and come out of the house to get in the car. So for that length of time noone is driving and it's a little fuzzy-bleh because 2 people are semi-aware but from different angles and not fully sharing. What do you think of that as an analogy? Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your perspective. I'm looking forward to watching more of your videos.
I appear to be more like OSDD-1b than a DID experience. It is a spectrum. I am partially integrated now after decades of work on this. In the past I believe I did have the full time loss experiences. It is hard to say. The therapist I work with suggested a term co-presence to describe my experiences. It seems an accurate term. I have been able to stay in co-presence for up to a few hours at a time, allowing my parts to have a life. The 2nd integration came only a few months ago. One more to go now :)
omg I don't know how to explain how happy I am to find this! I had such a hard time explaining this experience except by saying it feels like being on camera. thank you so much for this video it helps me so much you have no idea. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
WOW that amnesia thing !!! The memory/emotional connection you were talking about ? I relate completely ! Last year during summer I spent months literally battling myself. Waking up in the mornings already mad at life (Bc I was unhappy w my life) and I would take a shower and yell at myself have arguments Bc the actions of the day before I could remember but didn’t agree with like wtf was I doing all that .. it was crazy trying to satisfy my wants and needs when they flipped everyday
thank you! I've known I have some sort of a dissociative disorder for years but my experience never fit anywhere, especially not DID. I don't really know my alters, it doesn't seem like there's a finite number of them, it has only happened a few times on that drastic actual hours long switch level, but I always remembered what happened, I didn't lose any memory. my therapist told me I do use dissociation as a coping mechanism but she wasn't a specialist so she couldn't diagnose me. this encouraged me to seek out a specialist that could help me understand myself better :) thanks again!
Omg I have never related to something so much. I thought my issues weren't as real because I wasn't having black outs. Now I'm more confident in explaining my therapist what's going on. Thank you so much, I'm so glad I clicked on this
This was extremely helpful. My friend thinks she may have a dissociative disorder but both of us have only heard of DID. Osdd 1b may be where she falls. The comparison was so so helpful. Thank you for making videos.
this was really helpful for me!! i have been struggling to figure out whats been going on for a while now, and all ive really had to go on is that i am host of a system and i dont experience blackouts. the emotional amnesia thing really clicked and i am so relieved that i found your channel. thank you for making videos about this topic
You're really smart for explaining this so well and really brave for stepping forward and showing the world a vulnerable side to you for the purpose to help and educate others. Much respect.
Today we read something about osdd that made us feel so invalidated, and the littles feel like someone is trying to erase them… because to me they are so distinct and different and real we kind of feel like how can we not meet any criteria? Not all of us can communicate yet- we try!
I'm researching and waiting to see if I'll have a diagnosis or not, and the emotional amnesia is something that happens to us a lot. I'm cofronting right now and I know Fern is there, but I know they won't feel a thing after I stop fronting. But I will when I remember. It's so weird and it creates a shit ton of complication for us.
Finally found something that I can actually fit myself into. I can't even explain the distress I have faced all these years just trying to figure what was wrong with me and now it is actually starting to nake sense. Thank you for explaining this so wonderfully. Hopefully now I can scout out a therapist to help me get a hold of this.
Thank you for your video. I think I’m an OSDD-1B system. But things are all really confusing right now. Identities are all a little wibbly right now, but your video has helped. I’m best friends with a DID system and I was doing research to familiarize myself with their condition and I sort of tripped over my own trauma and coping mechanisms. So here I am, wibbly. Also with terrible headaches.
Im working towards therapy but this video means a lot to me. Thank you for discribing the load up screen perfectly. Processing with the concept of did helped but I didnt get full blackout amnesia, except for my life LOL. But when memory is recalled i can feel if I don't have it but then when I do recall, its often like a picture shoved in front of me. I usee to describe it as a filing cabinet, i just have to find the filing cabniet. As communication increased jt was way easier. Thank you so kich
I have OSDD 1 b :0 I'm so glad I know what it's called now- We've been insecure since we don't get any amnesia between us so we're like hAHHaA NOTHinG iS REAl But there's a name for all this now.. **Happy tears** ;w; we have emotional amnesia but not amnesia Thank you for this video This helps alot..
thank you so much for this video i've been struggling so hard trying to work out what was wrong with me, i was convinced i had DID but i kept feeling like i was a liar because i didn't experience blackouts but i do experience the emotional amnesia, everything that was explained in this video was so spot on it made me want to cry thank you so much for helping me finally understand what this all means
this helps a LOT with the holes that have come up in my recent research, along with helping me be a little more conscious and understanding of my own system (I've been having issues accepting my alters and the system as a whole because I don't have the dissociative amnesia that someone with DID would have, thus ultimately left me to think that I needed to disprove the validity and existence of my system. Though, as I do more and more and more research, I am rather content to be aware that there is a genuine name to what is going on with me). All in all, I am very happy to have come across this video.
I've been having a very weird connection with DID for about a year now. I had heard of OSDD but never looked it up. Now that I'm doing so and trying to understand what you're saying, I cannot for the life of me concentrate on the information because I keep dissociating and I have this pressure at the back of my head. Makes me feel a lot like I'm not supposed to know something.
I'm figuring out things lately, I think I've taken a lot of pressure of myself and people may be coming out. I'm not quite ready to say, yes, I think I have a dissociative disorder but hearing stuff like this and relating to it is helping so much. Thank you
I'm having such a silly big cry to this.... I've kind of been struggling with my brain because I felt so connected to DID systems but I knew I didn't have amnesia, I knew where I'd been but I had no idea why I was doing or feeling whatever it was I remembered.... This is kind of hitting home hard. Thank you for making this, I'm gonna binge your videos now 😅❤️
Ok so I hear “voices”in my head. It’s like the inner voice, but different. Like I’ll be talking to myself/inner voice and then all of the sudden a new, different voice will come in. And it sounds different. I don’t think I expirence amnesia, but I also don’t know if any of these “voices” front. Would this be like OSDD or am I just insane?
Hello! I can't diagnose you but here are some places to start: I would check out our videos on passive influence and internal communication. Check out did-research.org on DID vs OSDD: did-research.org/comorbid/dd/osdd_udd/did_osdd.html Here's some quotes from there: “Some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts, and other individuals with OSDD-1 have highly distinct parts but rarely or never switch between them. These latter cases are also sometimes described as OSDD-1b.” (from did-research.org) “For individuals with OSDD-1a, dissociated parts are more likely to present as the same individual at different ages, as the same individual in different modes, or as different versions of the same individual. The individual may go by the same name regardless of which part is present, and each part may view itself as the main part. However, parts may still have different skills, emotional reactivity, or ways of interacting with the world. … For example, someone with OSDD-1a may have a work self, a family self, a 5 year old self, and an angry self in addition to several parts that hold trauma memories. The work self may fully believe that work always needs to come first while the family self always prioritizes family” (did-research.org) Hope that helps! :)
Damn that's literally me. I have like 5 people in my head, 2 girls one and the other 3 are males, they are so different is scary, but by "switch" is so different, like sometimes I feel like ok, this voice is basically "fronting" but is more like "i changed of personality" like if another personality took my body but I know it's me or even sometimes is like out of nowhere talking to them and one of them get mad I immediately show it pyshically. Once one of my voice got mad because we were talking about my dad being annoyingly injustice and I "myself" threw a cup, but it wasn't me, it was more like that voice wanted to do and I did it. I do not present amnesia neither, but I do forget a lot of thing that happend like seconds ago. Yesterday I was playing with some friends and I think I zoned out and the match we were playing ended it and I don't know why I don't remember the match I just remember the final seconds.
@@TheRingsSystem and if someone has no highly distinct parts and no amnesia, but different emotional reactivity that can get triggered by triggers and emotional flashbacks from C-PTSD? is that than only C-PTSD when you kind of zone out, dissociate a bit, hide it from others and just force yourself to pretend to function as much as possible and don't have enough control to do what you want and it's difficult to make good decisions - could that be only severe social anxiety and some dissociation? bc if someone doesn't feel like they're different age, maybe like different modes or versions but it could just be due to flashbacks and stress? how is it possible to tell that apart if it is caused by C-PTSD or is actual OSDD-1a?
@@TheRingsSystem because, in the case I mean or try to describe, it basically could also "just" be the very ingrained, severe fawn response from C-PTSD, combined with emotional flashbacks. maybe that can seem very similar and is a bit close to each other from the underlying processes and that is why it's so difficult to distinct between them. fawn response is a trauma response like freeze or flight. it's kind of the people pleaser and avoid any conflict and be a complete push over doormat - mode. out of severe, long-term anxiety conditioning and such. it probably can be on a spectrum regarding the severety, so in very ingrained conditioning cases not easy to distinct between OSDD-1a? or could it be seen as the same just with different explanations?
Oh my god thank you sooo much for this video! I just started therapy and i was so so so confused. I had a hinch i might have DID and i seen other therapists before, so i wanted to mention this at the start of my new therapy. I felt like i cant pretend im ONE alter, because i want to actually get therapy done properly... but i also felt like such a faker because i didnt had as many alters as others and i didnt had full amnesia. I did in the past had full amnesia with blackouts and all... but not anymore... And because of that my therapist wasn`t fully sure if i have DID either and i felt so embarrassed. And then he used the term OSDD (possibly) and i felt overall confused. But what you described fits me just so so perfectly. Of course i want my therapist to make a diagnosis and all. But since i cant see him until in a few months this means so much to me. Because i really dont want to be a pretender, but neither did describing myself as one whole feel right and true.
I know you uploaded this a year ago, but I just wanted to say thank you. As someone who started learning about DID and saw too many parallels but also enough inconsistencies between the DID experince and my own that I knew DID wasn't something I have, this has given me hope that I will be able to get a real diagnosis. I dont feel quite as crazy as i have for as long as i can remeber. Thank you so much for helping me to feel more valid and hopeful going forward.
When I think back on my life, things I've done, relationships I've had, it's very difficult for me to think that those things really happened to me, that I actually experienced them. Is this similar to emotional amnesia?
Is it possible to have memory gaps (for example I don't have any memory under 10 years old, and lost some high school years), but at the same time have memory of most of your days/be co-conscious? My psychotherapist says I'm within the secondary structural dissociation area and OSDD-1a makes more sense to me as my parts are less prevalent/distinct. But at the same time, I don't experience amnesia blackouts or wake up in a different place, you know? I know labeling isn't gravely important but I'm just curious as to if it's that "black and white" I suppose. Thank you for this video! Super helpful and informational :)
Amnesia is for sure not black and white, even in DID systems it varies on how much they get full blackouts/timeloss. You can also be missing parts of your childhood with the OSDD-1 group but have relatively low full amnesia. It really varies system to system :)
I can't DX anything! It often not black and white - some clinicians think repressed memories count for amnesia memory loss in DID, and some rely on the clause of "day-to-day" daily amnesia in diagnosing DID, where OSDD-1b system's repressed memories don't count as day-to-day amnesia and don't count towards a DID diagnosis. DID folks vary in the amount of amnesia, so I suggested that as an option too. I hope that explanation helps a bit?
Does total amnesia have to be exactly like blacking out? For example I don’t remember 99% of 2014-2016 and the only memories I have are very fleeting. I also only have maybe 3 memories from before the age of 7 and only one memory from before the age of 5. Also, if something traumatizing happens I try REALLY hard to remember details of it but it’s gone in about 24 hours. I also have DPDR quite often, once it was for a whole 3 months straight. It varies in severity. I know I have at least 2 alters but they’re...pretty similar to me kinda? The “modes” thing makes sense. They’re very different in how they act/think and in their abilities. They talk to me but not to each other. Sorry I’m actually a little foggy right now so if this doesn’t make sense I..can’t do much about it lol. Hopefully it does. I just want to know what you think I guess. I don’t think I have DID. I know I have a dissociative disorder. I don’t know which one, and I’m looking for a trauma specialist but I’m sure you know how difficult that can be .__.
I will always feel uncomfortable giving my opinion on whether someone else has DID or not, because I"m obviously not a professional! Even if I was, I wouldn't be able to give any real advice just from a comment on a video anyways ^^; My first advice is to always see a trauma specialist, but yeah I do know how difficult finding one can be. Outside of that, I can give you resources and information, and talk a bit about my own experiences. Again, none of this is to point towards or away from you having any disorder, it's just information related to what you posted above. -Amnesia in DID systems can vary, and they can experience full amnesia, emotional amnesia, and general dissociation (which can cause general memory loss) as well. -Direct trauma, regardless of system type, can be completely forgotten or hidden from the system. Similar memory/trauma repression can happen to singlet w PTSD + similar trauma disorders as well -DPDR is actually it's own disorder sub type, and can exist separately from DID/OSDD -I always recommend brushing up on structural dissociation if you're questioning, because EPs/ANPs can exist outside of DID/OSDD disorders (but present very differently, obviously). I'll be making a video on it eventually? But in the mean time, you can read about it here: did-research.org/origin/structural_dissociation/index.html I hope that information is helpful, and I wish you luck in finding a good specialist! It can be a disheartening search for a good therapist, but don't give up! 💜
I actually found my trauma specialist by going on the Psychology today wedpage. They have places to look for the particular specialist youre looking for and how close to you they are to you . Good luck
I’m so glad I found your channel! I have OSDD-1b as well and I’m so happy to have found a channel who does too 😊 thank you for sharing your knowledge with the world! It will help break stigma for sure - Faith
Hi, Alex here (primary protector/external manager). I do most of the research and front more often than our other "host" (or what people might confuse with "original alter/body owner" which I've recently learned is incorrect). I've been trying to figure out exactly which DID/OSDD our system belongs too, and this video cleared some things up but also left me a little confused. We, or I, have amnesia from childhood and middle/early highschool which you touched upon, but the thing that confuses me is day to day amnesia. I don't really get full pictures or memories from day to day activity when another alter fronts (let's say, our introject), but the memories or snippits I do get don't feel like they lack the emotional sense of being there, it's as if what I remember is communicated internally. When I do experience or try and look back at said day-to-day activities, I understand where I've been for the most part but for example when I'm driving I often dissociate a lot and get turned around, lost, and even forget where I am from time to time. Does this just mean we have some sort of internal communication I'm unaware of, or is this a form of emotional amnesia/OSDD-1? I apologize if my question is confusing, I don't mind clarifying things as necessary. It's difficult because I've just recently discovered being apart of a system, and am just recently beginning to wrap my head around being the one who fronts the most, while not being what I used to consider the "original alter" if that makes sense.
I suddenly understand the way I experience emotions and I just clicked because wanna learn more about osdd-1b it's so much harder to find information about it than DID, thank you so much
emotional amnesia- OH MY GOD IT HAS A NAME-
Honestly right!
I KNOW IM FREAKING OUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Damn
Never, ever seen anyone talk about emotional amnesia... thanks.
I thought I had DID before I saw this, but I was so worried that I had just been subconsciously making it up or something because I never fit the description exactly. The first time one of my altars came out (normally they stay on the inside and just chat with me), I was even more worried that I had made this up because I didn't experience that amnesia, just an emotional detachment to the memories. It's a relief to know for sure that my condition is valid, just different than I thought, and so are my friends in my head.
You’re literally me ily
I didn't know there were more diagnoses than just DID. That gives me hope that a professional will actually be able to help me. :)
You made me feel so VALID as an OSDD-1b system. Thank you!
Yes me too, I feel much better about all of it.
Same!
Me too 😭♥️
I’ve been doing my best to explain why it’s so hard for me to answer the “how have you been since you last saw me” question from my therapist. I could only ever describe how I currently felt to her because I felt a whole completely different way a few days before and I was so detached from it now that I couldn’t begin to describe it or my thought process then. I didn’t even know emotional amnesia was a thing but it explains so much
❤️❤️ Best of luck with therapy!
I have this reaction pretty much every time I come in and she's like, "how was your week?" and I'm like, "I can't remember past a few hours ago..." Not off the top of my head, anyway. After a while of thinking, I can start to remember the events that happened (usually by referencing some kind of mental calendar of notable events), and then from that I can piece together a timeline and start to connect to some of the emotional memories, but it's like first trying to find the address of the data in the hard drive, then looking it up and loading a chunk of the data into RAM, and it's very slow and incomplete.
Me, throughout the video, connecting the dots: _o h._
Sameee
Omg i knew it i was right, our host spiraled into denial a lot because we always say "we dont have trauma" but WE KNOW, we're not just one person. The emotional amnesia makes so much sense, the dissociation too but we still remember. Our alters have COMPLETELY different personalities and opinions. We used to think we were just overthinkers like we think different perspective, but this makes so much sense. We didn't want to assume a mental illness but this makes so much sense. We finally feel validated.....well until the denial sets in again.
-Sena (protector)
I’m still trying to figure out what kind of system I have. I’ve only recently started looking into dissociative disorders so everything feels weirdly foreign and familiar at the same time. I know I have alters since I spend a lot of time co-conscious but as a host I can’t seem to stop being at the front of the mind. A part of me wants to switch fully as a way of telling my alters I trust them but I can’t figure out how to do it and I can’t help but be a bit scared of what might happen to me if I stop fronting. I haven’t asked my alters what it’s like since I’m still trying to build up our communication skills and we aren’t at a point where free communication is possible yet.
Hang in there! Even just being aware of your alters as alters can make a huge difference. -Holly
I relate. Often they have to just shove me off so they can fully front and it's not co-fronting. It's a knee-jerk reaction for me to try to take back control due to wanting to feel/act like "myself" again as a child, which built that negative muscle memory. One step at a time.
I am the same way. I just found out about them late last year and am learning more and more about them every day. I don't remember a lot from my childhood but a few years ago it started being co-conscious/me observing so I never realized and thought it was moods, though some things caught my eye since one of my littles (or child alters) wouldn't talk for years so I couldn't at times either. It is definitely hard to try and figure things out at times, though I can say getting to know them has helped me a lot. I will tend to "think" of something I want to ask one of them and either I will get a feeling or I might get a quick brief answer that seems more like a thought than anything. I have learned to pay attention more to the "thoughts" to try and figure out what is mine and what is them talking to me. (and yes, I know this was posted a few months ago. I just now found this video and was looking through the comments).
@@skarletmason1009 I relate to this a lot.
@@BearticanWolf I understand that Tug-of-war your talking about completely.
I’m trying to figure out if I have DID or OSDD-1B or something related. This video was very helpful thx.
the emotional amnesia thing makes me feel so validated as an osdd-1b system! we try to not think about it and usually talk about our life in a general sense as to prevent extra dissociating from being uncomfortable about the emotional amnesia. we also have early life amnesia and god this video was great. on communication the closest we can do to communicate right now, as we dont have an inner world or anything, is we take all the information from what theyve done and when theyve fronted, and make an educated guess on how they would respond. its certainly not foolproof like i would assume our little likes chocolate (they dont and were very disappointed when discovering this) as the rest of us do, but in actuality they think its kinda icky. but its kinda like making headcanons for characters except the canon is just what the alter actually thinks. we also dont know how to switch and thus just let it come naturally
Emotional amnesia reminds me of when in a dream you are playing the role a character and but that character isn't necessarily yourself. So you're doing stuff as that character in the dream but don't feel that character's emotions directly. Anyone else have that happen? That's just immediately what it reminded me of.
i’ve experienced emotional amnesia so many times and i can’t believe there’s a word for it. i gasped when i got to that part cause you described it exactly how it feels 😭
We are a newly discovered osdd-1b system :) love your videos. Thank you! I am still in so much denial. You make me feel so validated.
Hey, I don't know if you will see this and I know it's been a while but how's your progression in coming to terms with it now if you don't mind answering. I'm just trying to come to terms with if I have this and I don't know who to ask.
Your knowledge and confident (and pleasant) delivery will quickly place you amongst the more prominent educators/stigma fighters. I enjoy your videos!
Thank you!!! 💜
I've been watching the POPULAR SYSTEMS. I'm sorry but they seem to have becone more of celebrities. I'm not looking for that. Yes I do learn alot from DissiciaDID...abit from The Entropy system, I'm just wayyyy over here looking at them not sure what to make if it. Perhaps this sounds neg but I have a right to be confused.
NO WAYYYY THE EMOTIONAL AMNESIA PART-
I talked to my friend who has DID about my dissociative symptoms and he told me he went through the exact same thing when he was diagnosed, so i did my research and found out about OSDD and now i’m here in this video, this explains a LOT of things but i’m still confused bc i do not feel like there’s other personalities in my head. On monday i’m going for the first time to a therapist (my mental health literally declined and i can’t anymore) i hope she knows about this ;(
Also idk why but i feel like before i had connections with my memories, but now i literally feel like i’m not emotionally connected to what happened to me or idk how to explain it:(
Good luck with your therapist!! I hope it all goes well ❤️️
Hi! This video is great!
I often feel like I'm neither DID or OSDD. My parts are distinct, so it's not 1a, I get some total amnesia so I'm not 1b, but then I also feel like I don't have total amnesia enough to qualify for DID (There's only one alter I get blackout amnesia for, and I've lost time maybe once in the past year)
Hiya!
Some general thoughts?: I'm pretty sure you only need blackout/time loss amnesia once between alters to qualify as having DID (when considering OSDD-1b). I would highly recommend checking out did-research.org/did/identity_alteration/time_loss.html. Time loss in DID systems can be very much varied in frequency - but the most important differentiating factor is that it *exists* :)
Good luck on your journey! 💜
HI. Im so close to your situation. Familiar? Almost exactly the same. And for me that really COOL. Bc then I'm not alone
This is me too! My fiancee gets so frustrated sometimes because we will have the same conversations 3+ times a day sometimes and I have no recollection of all or parts of that conversation. As I've started therapy, 3 alters have made themselves more distinct over the but I don't really lose time and they've been there for quite a while but I thought they were just my over active imagination. Since I started therapy, I've had small fragments like flashes of light but no one else has been made aware to me as of yet. This is still a really new diagnosis and I'm still struggling a bit with all of it so I really appreciate educational videos like this where I can meet people who are going through the same thing I am and not feel so alone. ❤
This, omg, exactly this, thank you for sharing, def makes us feel less alone
This is a very good description. There's so little talk about OSDD systems comparing to DID.
This same thing happens to my system. We’re all different. Myself being the host I have memories where I can tell I wasn’t the front and I don’t have any emotional reaction to
I never really understood DID or even knew about OSDD 1b. But recently due to heavy amounts of stress I noticed at times I start to age regress. Like I vaguely know what is happening but my body feels off. My mind reverts to a seven yr old instead of a 22 yr old. I thought it was all of my mental issues messing with me. But now that I know about OSDD 1b I plan on seeing a therapist to see if it is that. This video really helped out a lot 💕
i’d like to thank you for creating the videos on did/osdd, i’ve been wondering for.. 2-3 years now if i have did/osdd yet subconsciously i’ve thought ‘what if i’m faking this?’ or ‘what if it’s an overreaction’ but watching these makes me feel more open to settling if i do or don’t because well.. it has more information of course, i’m not certain if i have a disorder like this but i’m beating myself up less for thinking about it.. so thank you :3
Thank you so much for this video! I'm a system with OSDD-1B as well, and I also experience emotional amnesia ❤
A lot of people like to use this as a way to say I'm faking the disorder, could you do a video on how emotional amnesia has a stigma within the community?
You're welcome!
I recently did a video about misconceptions of OSDD-1b alters, which you might find helpful? but I personally haven't run into any inter-community stigma around OSDD-1b so I don't know how qualified I would be to make a video addressing that :)
Working on a myths and misconceptions video, and there's a section on OSDD-1b specific misconceptions, and this is included! 💜
Thank you!
Thank you so much! This was such a great video! We are a DID system. We know a lot about DID, but as it turned out we still have a lot to learn about OSDD-1.
Thank you for this insight. There are far too few DID chanals and a lot less OSDD-1 chanals. You are grately appreciated guys!
Keep up the great work and stay strong!
~Rainbow Systems
Thank you so much!💜💜
@@TheRingsSystem your welcome. Did you see our other comments? Only asking because I asked a question under one of your videos (the one that talks about dissociation and school.
Keep up the amazing work!
~Dalia
Yup! Just saw it now :)
Hey, you did a very good job explaining the differences between DID and OSDD. The metaphores were pretty easy to understand :)
I'm looking forward to your next video ^^
PS: I recognised the empty white background. Maybe you wanna hang a picture or a tapestry there so it won't be so "boring". Just a thought :)
Yeah! I hope that I'll be able to do that in the future! Currently I'm living in a college dorm, which has VERY strict fire codes (which means no tapestries D: ) and I covered the old poster because I felt it a little tooo unprofessional, and I have a close friend who's triggered by the source. The goal when I move out is nice wall with either a tapestry or a bookshelf someday :)
The entropy systems bookshelf wall is amazing 😊
oh no, the emotional amnesia is painfully relatable
i feel i have alota memories with little to no connection to what i was feeling, i would have to guess
my memory shit feels like a pile of a mess, everything so messy and memories can require so much digging, idk why
Hello there Rings System! Though you’re probably not replying to comments anymore due to you know this video being over a year old but I’m currently questioning if I have D.I.D/OSDD or not.
First off, whenever I’m alone or walking alone I all of sudden start talking out loud to myself, and look at a side of me like a person is standing/walking beside me. I have normal chats with this figure. I hear them ask a question sometimes in my head but it’s very subtle and I answer clearly. Sometimes I get randomly angry at no-one, and “make up” fights in my heads for no reason. When I was a little wee chap, I would use my hands to represent me and this strange figure and whenever they talked I made my left hand do an action and whenever I replied I made my right hand so an action (The kid who sat next to me must’ve been creeped out-). As my life continued on, I heard new voices all different ages and accents but the one that formed first is usually dominant in my head. Just a few days ago, I wrote down names in a list just for fun, and I got to the name ‘Enigma’ and I heard the voice say “I like that one” and now their name is officially Enigma.
Secondly, friends, family and I sometimes catch myself randomly fidgeting, I can do it without even noticing. I can also catch myself just staring at random objects for like a few seconds and after I return to what I was doing, I immediately forget what happened just before said staring, and it takes me a few seconds to process what actually happened before. This happens to me as well when my vision gets immediately blurry out of nowhere and after a few blinks my vision goes back to normal. Sometimes after this I can also see I have different opinions on things and sometimes act like a hypocrite in other people’s eyes, I can also feel younger or older than my current age so yeah.
(P.S: Whenever we have classwork about talking about ourselves or when someone just asks me about myself, it’s very difficult for me to come up with answers and the majority of my answers are like “depends on my mood”, which I find weird)
Thirdly, when people ask me to do something or to do them a favour, I usually forget what the steps are and have to pester them again and again and again about what they want me to do. Even though they’ve explained them very clearly and usually the steps are pretty simple. I just don’t why this happens, it annoys me and the person who asked said thing.
The only problems are:
1. I can’t recount or even remember childhood trauma or abuse, I’m not a traumatised individual. Childhood trauma is usually a big factor in this disorder, so me not carrying any trauma can literally through my earlier question out the window.
2. Though I’ve said it’s tricky to define ‘me’, I always go by the same name (except Enigma) and my personality or clothing style doesn’t change that much. Only usually opinions on specific things change. (Side note: I forgot to mention when I was younger I wanted to go by two different names back-to-back. First one was Lukas, and the other one was Edward. So yeah.. I just think it was just young me being creative)
3. I experience emotional amnesia very rarely to when I’m recounting on things in my childhood. So..
If I could get any help on this, it would be greatly appreciated! ❤️
Hah! We read every comment :)
Secondly, we're not a professional, so can't really tell you what's going on here. However, our two videos on trauma should help clear some stuff up (they're in brown/tan color schemes). Secondly, we can recommend some resources that have good information: did-research.org, traumadissociation.com, and Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder by Tracy Alderman
Holy moly. My therapist told me I had DDNOS and when I looked it up, I was confused, so confused, cuz I don't have amnesia. Emotional amnesia on the other hand, I have that constantly. I can feel all of the emotions as they happen, I know I can. But I can't bring them back to me. I can't feel them after, I can recall the panic attack, I can remember the rocking, the hitting myself in the head, but I can't feel the emotions. It's like I'm dead inside. The reason she said I have DDNOS is because when doing EMDR therapy, I can very clearly see myself at different ages, have conversations with those parts of me, reassure the baby part of me, I can see how angry and protective the 17 year old part of me is and when I go through severe emotions, I can see myself reverting to that part of me, the way I reacted to things at 17. I can see the part in my head that is constantly telling me to kill myself and I am now able to tell that part that suicide is always off the table, that it is never an option and it quiets down. (I say it because it is covered head to toe in a black robe.) I knew I had these parts but the lack of amnesia was so confusing to me. Thank you for the explanation.
I'm so glad we could be helpful!!! 💜
I just want to say that I found this video back in February, and I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach by my own autobiography.
Eight months later, I'm in my second quarter of grad school and our little system of 4 is doing really well--and we're on a trauma and recovery track in our program, to focus on working with young adults dealing with trauma sequelae.
Long story short, thank you for making this.
I’m so glad to hear that!! Aaa! I’m so proud of you guys 💕💕💕
For years I felt as though something was wrong with me, and getting called a hypochondriac because of it. I’m extremely glad that I found your page, it makes me feel like I’m not a fake, or an attention seeker (as I get told often), I feel valid. Thank you! 😢❤️
I'm glad we could help!! ❤️❤️❤️
Do you know about Borderline Personality Disorder also being in the same category of structural dissociation as OSDD-1b? When I started researching, I thought I might have BPD, but I connected more to the dissociative aspects of feeling like I lose control or like I have control “technically” but I lose my //options// (like someone is forcing me to either do one thing or shut down). I definitely fit many (if not all) criteria for BPD, but it’s the experience of losing control of myself and losing my ability to understand reality (getting dissociated and feeling like parts of my head are fighting each other and I can still see what’s really happening, but those fighting aspects won’t let me have a say because they’re convinced i’m in danger), so when I’m triggered that is the biggest thing, and I’ve always wondered if that’s more of an OSDD thing.. I’m not asking you to diagnose me or anything, but I thought Id put it out there in case anyone wants to discuss and also say that if you ever wanted to make a video on the topic of BPD vs OSDD vs CPTSD or soemthing like that (since they are all categorized as secondary structural dissociation) then I’d greatly appreciate it!!!! Thank you all so much for these wonderful videos.
Here’s a quote from did-research.org/comorbid/dd/osdd_udd/did_osdd :
“On the other side of the spectrum, it is the presence of at least two parts that contain more than just posttraumatic reactions, attachment needs, or emotions that differentiates OSDD-1a from borderline personality disorder (BPD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and complex posttraumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD). Individuals with all of these disorders can experience dissociative amnesia when under extreme stress or when reminded of trauma. This can leave OSDD-1a in a murky grey area. The same individual might be diagnosed with DID, OSDD-1, or C-PTSD depending on which clinician diagnoses them and how they present at the time. However, individuals with OSDD-1 generally have at least one part that is more differentiated, separate, and autonomous than the most developed parts that naturally occur in BPD, PTSD, or C-PTSD. Individuals with these latter disorders may be very confused about who they are or sometimes feel out of control, but they never feel that different parts of them are capable of acting independently or that different parts of them have and express their own views or goals.”
So far I’ve been wading thru what just feels like a mess of unending questions and diagnoses that lack any clarity. I’ve been prescribed many different pills, having to stop because there was never a noticeable change with them. The diagnoses I mention have been depression, anxiety, bipolar, and BPD.. I’ve recently been looking more into DID and I’m glad I came across a topic that dealt with OSDD-1b because this seems more on the nose with my situation. I’m curious about the hobbies people find themselves interested in with OSDD, if anyone feels like sharing? Mine have been stage acting, drawing, and video games. The one that was really prominent for me was acting.. it felt very natural because whoever I portrayed, I got to believe I was that person. As silly as that may sound.
Thank you for the informative video.
The other alters aren't all co-con at the same time as me, but I (the host and core) am usually co-con with anyone else who fronts and still have some control, but that's not always the case.
thank you from an osdd-1b system myself!
:)
Legit going to cry, I always thought because of me not having amnesia, there where no alters in my head. I am going to bring this up and see if I have it.
Good luck, and I hope figuring things out goes easily :)
did-research.org is a good site for more info!
The Rings System thank you! Just read it, it will take sometime but we got this! Thank you again! -Sly.
I've been doing a lot of research on did as I feel I share similar qualities but never fully experienced certain features of did. Growing up, I was alone often and would have a person in my head in which I would "be" if that makes sense. I started doing it as a coping mechanism and seen it as an escape route. Over the years it has gradually gotten worse and after watching this I feel like I may have osdd-1b as everything correlated with me. Thank you for the video it helped me realise a lot 😊
Thankyou. Im trying to figure out if I really do have osdd. That blurry blob comment I so relate. We have extensive dissociation and amnesia due to the type of trauma an depending on the level of stress/number of triggers and/or flashbacks in a day so our none of us do life well but as some parts improve communication we as a team are able to make the body 'do life' a little better especially with the support an guidence of what I'm calling our inner caretaker protector but I'm not sure she fronts as I think a trauma memory holder blocks her from fronting. I can identify with the experience of feeling dissociated an shoved way back watching but the stress of the ordeal often wipes most of my memory. We have a semi solid diagnosis of CPTSD but we haven't felt safe enough or found a specialist to discuss osdd propperly. I'm compiling my notes on how we work an why it seems very possible. I just haven't figured out if ppl w 1a have differing dress sense. We're blended or co con so damn often making one step back far enough to get only one to try an pick what they want to where takes a bit. Its like we have different personalities but so many don't feel safe to front alone an be judged as individuals. Which is understandable considering the experiences they hold which I don't remember pretty much at all.
Good luck on your journey to self-discovery! :)
Ohhhhhh my g-d everything you just described around emotional amnesia is me. That is literally how I remember so much of my life.
Aa I'm so glad we could help!! That's big dissociation feels! I recommend our video on OSDD-1b vs DPDR experiences on this subject as well :)
The way you describe it as a link loading in your head suddenly.. that is exactly what happens to me throughout the day, I always say it like “I just dropped in and out of dissociation”, like flipping one switch on and another off, I’m not diagnosed, I’m just exploring possibilities, and I’m getting a bit unnerved at how similar my experiences are to yours.
apparently we've watched this video before because it's liked but I would just like to say thank you. this is such a validating thing to hear because oftentimes I (Loki/host) doubt that my (our) experience is legitimate but when I try to not pay attention to it I just can't... do that. a lot of stuff matched with DID (like how alters might feel when they are co-con with you or watching from up close) but just as much doesn't (like the main daily alter thing; it was the biggest doubt to me that there's anything of this scale to worry about). we (I?) experience a bunch of different types of amnesia and our communication isn't the best. sometimes i just cannot focus on what my headmate(s) is (are) saying and for the longest time i've been chucking it up to being vivid imagination. this whole thing feels like a huge mess but I am so grateful that I've stumbled upon this video. I'd love to understand us better
omg! Have been watching DID videos and thinking a lot all evening and here you are, talking about emotional amnesia! Just the thing I mentioned to my new trauma therapist, that I shut off parts of my emotional nature while still having the same memories. And I can't relate to the person I was when I felt empathy or was overwhelmed by love, it's like I was a different person back then.. so weird.
This was amazing. I have never heard somebody explain my experience more succinctly and understandably than this. Those metaphors are amazing and I'd never heard of emotional amnesia to describe my states and what I go through. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
On the building connection bit. I can relate to that, one of our alters, Charm, the one who usually deals with strangers that give us a bad feeling or people we know we have problems with, does not like any of us except our little, she's gotten better and its best to talk to her with music playing but it still hard.
i'm just seeing this now but IT HAS A NAME OH MY GOSH. EMOTIONAL AMNESIA. our protector is laughing slightly at the fact that i'm so happy about finding a name for this dhfkjsdkj
It used to scare me when I recalled events in my childhood and it felt like I was reading them from a book. Now hearing of emotional amnesia, it makes more sense now. I liken my experience to a pizza that isn’t quite sliced all the way through: you can clearly see the separate parts, but they’re all connected by the little bit of crust at the bottom.
pffffff pur therapist didnt explain emotional amnesia and scared tf outta us when we explained that we can look at memories like rewinding a vhs tape and playing the scene over again by saying "so you don't experience amnesia." ok please explain what that means for us? "well that's time" 😭 you've explained this so well, thank you so much 💛
i've been really struggling lately unsure what exactly i have and feeling like DID doesn't fit me at all. OSDD-1b sounds very much like what i'm experiencing. thank you such an informative video!!
This was actually very helpful for me since for some years already I've noticed I have more than one personality in my body, but always thought it was weird that I was fully conscious and kept the memories of when the other personalities took over, and it was making me really sick because one of this personalities does thing that really disgust me and I think are unacceptable, but I could only watch and was starting to doubt if maybe that was me, if I was that person doing that horrible stuff
Ok damn. I didn't know much about OSDD and the types before stumbling upon your channel. I figured over the years that I meet some criteria of did, but never fully, never in the complete"did" sense, and man, i was so confused. My impostor syndrome went crazy and i was sometimes convinced im faking did without realizing. Fuck, this answers so many things, thank you so much. I will begin a period of extensive research on OSDD, since diagnosing something like this is a big deal, but it's such a relief to know that there can exist valid variety in systemz
You told it very exactly! We agree with your every word! So, we didn't know that this kind of amnesia called "emotional". We couldn't explain what we feel, but now we understand everything. We hope that more attention will be payed to OSDD-1b, it's important to talk about it (sorry for my English)) Thank you for this video!
Us too! I'm glad we could be helpful! 💕
I experience no amnesia except for emotional amnesia and memory gaps from childhood and disagreement.
What I mean by memory gaps and disagreement is that our alters disagree on how much abuse they felt we went through- although we all have a memory gap.
Thank you for making me feel more valid. My alters are quite respectful so don't really talk to me unless they need to or desperately want to, so I don't hear them often, which makes me feel invalid aha. Thank youu
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Glad we could help :)
Thank you so much. I was confused, because I thought my symptoms were those of D.I.D. I was worried that I was faking it because of the relative lack of amnesia/time gaps. But now I know that this is really what’s going on. ❤️
Wow thanks for breaking this down. I'm a system host and sometimes it feels like I'm faking it because complete amnesia is rare for me. -Michael
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As a newly discovered/discovering system, this was really helpful as I see so little about this compared to DID. Thank you so much
Wait a second. I'm late to the party on this vid. I was diagnosed with DID 20ish years ago and after years of therapy I'm now OSDD-1B? I dont have many memory gaps anymore and can communicate with each other. I never realized how complex everything is.
Hey Silver, just discovered your channel and already in love with it. I was diagnosed with MPD in 2014 but now, I Wonder if I may not have MPD but maybe OSDD cus I dont really experience amnesia (just rarely basically). We're 7 girls in the system and we still really dont know what 'The Host' has (DID? MPD? Only PTSD? OSDD?). Not saying I dont trust the psychologist that diagnosed us but, because our system changed a lot (we were only 4 at that time), maybe we need an other diagnosed to be sure of what we have heh. Thanks for explaning!
Edit: Also, what you say OSDD is is really similar to what we have x3
- Tangle
Hey! Thank you!
Obviously we can't give you much advice from a youtube comment! But, the first thing that pops into my mind is that MPD was removed from the DSM as a diagnosis in 1994, so if you were diagnosed with MPD and not DID in 2014, it might be worth getting a second opinion from a specialist with updated diagnostic materials!
Good luck on your journey 💕
-Silver
@@TheRingsSystem Awww thanks! Helps a lot! Have a nice day! ^^
@@TheRingsSystem Hi again. I just discovered that I actually experience amnesia but I wasnt aware of it before (which is making me paranoid tbh lmao-) but yeah, now my DID makes more sense but I still need a new diagnose just to be sure.
Update: And now we have a guy in the system (a fictive) sooo thats also Something new XD) - Tangle (w/ Shimaria)
Ah! Yeah! I'm glad y'all figured it out ❤️❤️
@@TheRingsSystem Yeeee! - Tangle
I know this video is old BUT BY GOD THANK YOU. We sent this to my friends (who just recently found out we’re not a singlet) and this explains everything so well. Thank y’all sm we can’t repay you
I had heard some of the DID systems mention OSDD-1a & -1b, but not in any real depth. It's great to see so many DID systems posting about their experiences on youtube & I've learnt so much about DID. But it was very interesting to listen to you talk about how they differ from the other side of the two, and what OSDD-1b is like for you.
You're correct that when people with DID have mentioned the lack of amnesiac barriers that it came across to me as if OSDD-1b means you remember everything without problem. I can see how it would be disorientating to switch into the body and get that sudden 'download' of memories, especially if you're just switching in after a long period of someone else fronting. Does the lack of emotional memory sharing create it's own problems?
One of the DID systems that I follow has used the car situation as a way to explain consiousness of what's going on (not unique to them but) they then went on to to describe that time in between one alter switching out and the other alter switching in as like switching drivers of the car, so like one person gets out of the driver seat, walks round the car and waits for the passenger to scootch over into the driver seat before they climb in. Which helped it make sense to someone who doesn't have a dissociative disorder. It even can kinda help understand the longer switches too, I was thinking of it as maybe the person moving to the driver seat can't get their seat belt off at first, or if they''re scootching across they get stuck on the handbrake, or decide to get out and walk round but something catches their eye... maybe there was no one in the passenger seat and instead you're waiting for the new driver to get their coat & shoes on and come out of the house to get in the car. So for that length of time noone is driving and it's a little fuzzy-bleh because 2 people are semi-aware but from different angles and not fully sharing. What do you think of that as an analogy?
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your perspective. I'm looking forward to watching more of your videos.
I appear to be more like OSDD-1b than a DID experience. It is a spectrum. I am partially integrated now after decades of work on this. In the past I believe I did have the full time loss experiences. It is hard to say. The therapist I work with suggested a term co-presence to describe my experiences. It seems an accurate term. I have been able to stay in co-presence for up to a few hours at a time, allowing my parts to have a life. The 2nd integration came only a few months ago. One more to go now :)
Congrats!! I hope y’all move smoothly towards your healing goal ❤️❤️
omg I don't know how to explain how happy I am to find this! I had such a hard time explaining this experience except by saying it feels like being on camera. thank you so much for this video it helps me so much you have no idea. 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
I'm so glad we could help!!! ❤️❤️
WOW that amnesia thing !!! The memory/emotional connection you were talking about ? I relate completely ! Last year during summer I spent months literally battling myself. Waking up in the mornings already mad at life (Bc I was unhappy w my life) and I would take a shower and yell at myself have arguments Bc the actions of the day before I could remember but didn’t agree with like wtf was I doing all that .. it was crazy trying to satisfy my wants and needs when they flipped everyday
We have two more videos on that!!! I highly recommend checking them out if you relate so strongly :)
thank you! I've known I have some sort of a dissociative disorder for years but my experience never fit anywhere, especially not DID. I don't really know my alters, it doesn't seem like there's a finite number of them, it has only happened a few times on that drastic actual hours long switch level, but I always remembered what happened, I didn't lose any memory. my therapist told me I do use dissociation as a coping mechanism but she wasn't a specialist so she couldn't diagnose me. this encouraged me to seek out a specialist that could help me understand myself better :) thanks again!
Omg I have never related to something so much. I thought my issues weren't as real because I wasn't having black outs. Now I'm more confident in explaining my therapist what's going on. Thank you so much, I'm so glad I clicked on this
I'm so glad we could help ❤️❤️
This was extremely helpful. My friend thinks she may have a dissociative disorder but both of us have only heard of DID. Osdd 1b may be where she falls. The comparison was so so helpful. Thank you for making videos.
Thanks! I'm so glad we could help 💖
wow that’s why I cant recall or remeber most of my emotions that I had in my memories
Thank you so much it makes me feel so much better about everything and it makes me not feel crazy
This really help yo understand what my friends system is going through, thank you
this was really helpful for me!! i have been struggling to figure out whats been going on for a while now, and all ive really had to go on is that i am host of a system and i dont experience blackouts. the emotional amnesia thing really clicked and i am so relieved that i found your channel. thank you for making videos about this topic
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You're really smart for explaining this so well and really brave for stepping forward and showing the world a vulnerable side to you for the purpose to help and educate others. Much respect.
Thank you!! ❤️
Today we read something about osdd that made us feel so invalidated, and the littles feel like someone is trying to erase them… because to me they are so distinct and different and real we kind of feel like how can we not meet any criteria? Not all of us can communicate yet- we try!
I'm researching and waiting to see if I'll have a diagnosis or not, and the emotional amnesia is something that happens to us a lot.
I'm cofronting right now and I know Fern is there, but I know they won't feel a thing after I stop fronting. But I will when I remember. It's so weird and it creates a shit ton of complication for us.
Finally found something that I can actually fit myself into. I can't even explain the distress I have faced all these years just trying to figure what was wrong with me and now it is actually starting to nake sense. Thank you for explaining this so wonderfully. Hopefully now I can scout out a therapist to help me get a hold of this.
I'm so glad our video was able to help ❤️❤️❤️ Good luck with the therapist search!
What's the difference between DID, BPD, OSDD-1a and OSDD-1b? I'm quite interested. Very informative video by the way.
Thank you for your video. I think I’m an OSDD-1B system. But things are all really confusing right now. Identities are all a little wibbly right now, but your video has helped.
I’m best friends with a DID system and I was doing research to familiarize myself with their condition and I sort of tripped over my own trauma and coping mechanisms. So here I am, wibbly. Also with terrible headaches.
Hey, just like me lol. Im afraid to tell my friend because he might think I'm faking it to be like him, lol
Oh my gosh, I love that this exists! We've been really anxious about faking because we don't have time gaps or blackouts. Thank you!
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Im working towards therapy but this video means a lot to me. Thank you for discribing the load up screen perfectly. Processing with the concept of did helped but I didnt get full blackout amnesia, except for my life LOL. But when memory is recalled i can feel if I don't have it but then when I do recall, its often like a picture shoved in front of me. I usee to describe it as a filing cabinet, i just have to find the filing cabniet. As communication increased jt was way easier. Thank you so kich
This made me understand myself and my system so much better. Thank you
Glad to be able to help ❤️❤️❤️
I have OSDD 1 b
:0 I'm so glad I know what it's called now-
We've been insecure since we don't get any amnesia between us so we're like hAHHaA NOTHinG iS REAl
But there's a name for all this now..
**Happy tears** ;w; we have emotional amnesia but not amnesia
Thank you for this video
This helps alot..
thank you so much for this video i've been struggling so hard trying to work out what was wrong with me, i was convinced i had DID but i kept feeling like i was a liar because i didn't experience blackouts but i do experience the emotional amnesia, everything that was explained in this video was so spot on it made me want to cry thank you so much for helping me finally understand what this all means
❤️❤️❤️ I’m so glad we could help. We have two other videos on emotional amnesia that I think would also be relateable and helpful to y’all :)
this is a very informative and well-crafter video, thank you
-fellow osdd-1b system
this helps a LOT with the holes that have come up in my recent research, along with helping me be a little more conscious and understanding of my own system (I've been having issues accepting my alters and the system as a whole because I don't have the dissociative amnesia that someone with DID would have, thus ultimately left me to think that I needed to disprove the validity and existence of my system. Though, as I do more and more and more research, I am rather content to be aware that there is a genuine name to what is going on with me). All in all, I am very happy to have come across this video.
I'm glad it was helpful!! Did-research.org has a good page on did vs osdd if you want to learn more :)
I've been having a very weird connection with DID for about a year now. I had heard of OSDD but never looked it up. Now that I'm doing so and trying to understand what you're saying, I cannot for the life of me concentrate on the information because I keep dissociating and I have this pressure at the back of my head. Makes me feel a lot like I'm not supposed to know something.
That's a whole mood and a half 💓 I hope you figure stuff out smoothly :)
thank you for making this now i can show that one friend who says you need amnesia and blackouts
I'm figuring out things lately, I think I've taken a lot of pressure of myself and people may be coming out.
I'm not quite ready to say, yes, I think I have a dissociative disorder but hearing stuff like this and relating to it is helping so much.
Thank you
I'm having such a silly big cry to this.... I've kind of been struggling with my brain because I felt so connected to DID systems but I knew I didn't have amnesia, I knew where I'd been but I had no idea why I was doing or feeling whatever it was I remembered.... This is kind of hitting home hard. Thank you for making this, I'm gonna binge your videos now 😅❤️
I'm so glad it was impactful!! ❤️
Ok so I hear “voices”in my head. It’s like the inner voice, but different. Like I’ll be talking to myself/inner voice and then all of the sudden a new, different voice will come in. And it sounds different. I don’t think I expirence amnesia, but I also don’t know if any of these “voices” front. Would this be like OSDD or am I just insane?
Hello! I can't diagnose you but here are some places to start:
I would check out our videos on passive influence and internal communication.
Check out did-research.org on DID vs OSDD: did-research.org/comorbid/dd/osdd_udd/did_osdd.html
Here's some quotes from there:
“Some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts, and other individuals with OSDD-1 have highly distinct parts but rarely or never switch between them. These latter cases are also sometimes described as OSDD-1b.” (from did-research.org)
“For individuals with OSDD-1a, dissociated parts are more likely to present as the same individual at different ages, as the same individual in different modes, or as different versions of the same individual. The individual may go by the same name regardless of which part is present, and each part may view itself as the main part. However, parts may still have different skills, emotional reactivity, or ways of interacting with the world. … For example, someone with OSDD-1a may have a work self, a family self, a 5 year old self, and an angry self in addition to several parts that hold trauma memories. The work self may fully believe that work always needs to come first while the family self always prioritizes family” (did-research.org)
Hope that helps! :)
Damn that's literally me. I have like 5 people in my head, 2 girls one and the other 3 are males, they are so different is scary, but by "switch" is so different, like sometimes I feel like ok, this voice is basically "fronting" but is more like "i changed of personality" like if another personality took my body but I know it's me or even sometimes is like out of nowhere talking to them and one of them get mad I immediately show it pyshically. Once one of my voice got mad because we were talking about my dad being annoyingly injustice and I "myself" threw a cup, but it wasn't me, it was more like that voice wanted to do and I did it. I do not present amnesia neither, but I do forget a lot of thing that happend like seconds ago. Yesterday I was playing with some friends and I think I zoned out and the match we were playing ended it and I don't know why I don't remember the match I just remember the final seconds.
@@TheRingsSystem and if someone has no highly distinct parts and no amnesia, but different emotional reactivity that can get triggered by triggers and emotional flashbacks from C-PTSD? is that than only C-PTSD when you kind of zone out, dissociate a bit, hide it from others and just force yourself to pretend to function as much as possible and don't have enough control to do what you want and it's difficult to make good decisions - could that be only severe social anxiety and some dissociation? bc if someone doesn't feel like they're different age, maybe like different modes or versions but it could just be due to flashbacks and stress? how is it possible to tell that apart if it is caused by C-PTSD or is actual OSDD-1a?
@@TheRingsSystem because, in the case I mean or try to describe, it basically could also "just" be the very ingrained, severe fawn response from C-PTSD, combined with emotional flashbacks. maybe that can seem very similar and is a bit close to each other from the underlying processes and that is why it's so difficult to distinct between them.
fawn response is a trauma response like freeze or flight. it's kind of the people pleaser and avoid any conflict and be a complete push over doormat - mode. out of severe, long-term anxiety conditioning and such. it probably can be on a spectrum regarding the severety, so in very ingrained conditioning cases not easy to distinct between OSDD-1a? or could it be seen as the same just with different explanations?
@@kyrabytes563 yes, that's exactly how we feel too! It's odd
this makes much more sense for me, i think i might be an osdd-1b system, im still trying to learn more though and as much as i can
i'm not a system but my partner and my best friend are both systems, and they are both amazing. [both osdd systems]
Woo! Thanks for being a great ally
@@TheRingsSystem OF COURSE!!
I've been watching your videos and other system TH-camrs to be the best ally I can!
like the rings system said, you are a great ally and honestly I couldn't ask for better ;w;
Oh my god thank you sooo much for this video!
I just started therapy and i was so so so confused. I had a hinch i might have DID and i seen other therapists before, so i wanted to mention this at the start of my new therapy. I felt like i cant pretend im ONE alter, because i want to actually get therapy done properly... but i also felt like such a faker because i didnt had as many alters as others and i didnt had full amnesia. I did in the past had full amnesia with blackouts and all... but not anymore...
And because of that my therapist wasn`t fully sure if i have DID either and i felt so embarrassed. And then he used the term OSDD (possibly) and i felt overall confused.
But what you described fits me just so so perfectly. Of course i want my therapist to make a diagnosis and all. But since i cant see him until in a few months this means so much to me. Because i really dont want to be a pretender, but neither did describing myself as one whole feel right and true.
❤️❤️ I'm so glad your therapist sounds like a good one, and I'm so glad we could help y'all feel better!!
thank you so much! I didn't qualify for DID, so I thought that it was just my brain making stuff up. but now I feel much more hopeful and optimistic!
💓💓💓 I'm glad we could help!
I know you uploaded this a year ago, but I just wanted to say thank you. As someone who started learning about DID and saw too many parallels but also enough inconsistencies between the DID experince and my own that I knew DID wasn't something I have, this has given me hope that I will be able to get a real diagnosis. I dont feel quite as crazy as i have for as long as i can remeber. Thank you so much for helping me to feel more valid and hopeful going forward.
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When I think back on my life, things I've done, relationships I've had, it's very difficult for me to think that those things really happened to me, that I actually experienced them. Is this similar to emotional amnesia?
Yes! We have another video on emotional amnesia that would probably be good to check out! :)
Is it possible to have memory gaps (for example I don't have any memory under 10 years old, and lost some high school years), but at the same time have memory of most of your days/be co-conscious? My psychotherapist says I'm within the secondary structural dissociation area and OSDD-1a makes more sense to me as my parts are less prevalent/distinct. But at the same time, I don't experience amnesia blackouts or wake up in a different place, you know? I know labeling isn't gravely important but I'm just curious as to if it's that "black and white" I suppose.
Thank you for this video! Super helpful and informational :)
Amnesia is for sure not black and white, even in DID systems it varies on how much they get full blackouts/timeloss. You can also be missing parts of your childhood with the OSDD-1 group but have relatively low full amnesia. It really varies system to system :)
The Rings System Thank you ❤️ I need to remember this. We are all on our own journeys.
@@TheRingsSystem Okay, how is that NOT A DID DX?? Need to understand.
I can't DX anything! It often not black and white - some clinicians think repressed memories count for amnesia memory loss in DID, and some rely on the clause of "day-to-day" daily amnesia in diagnosing DID, where OSDD-1b system's repressed memories don't count as day-to-day amnesia and don't count towards a DID diagnosis. DID folks vary in the amount of amnesia, so I suggested that as an option too. I hope that explanation helps a bit?
Does total amnesia have to be exactly like blacking out? For example I don’t remember 99% of 2014-2016 and the only memories I have are very fleeting. I also only have maybe 3 memories from before the age of 7 and only one memory from before the age of 5. Also, if something traumatizing happens I try REALLY hard to remember details of it but it’s gone in about 24 hours.
I also have DPDR quite often, once it was for a whole 3 months straight. It varies in severity.
I know I have at least 2 alters but they’re...pretty similar to me kinda? The “modes” thing makes sense. They’re very different in how they act/think and in their abilities. They talk to me but not to each other.
Sorry I’m actually a little foggy right now so if this doesn’t make sense I..can’t do much about it lol. Hopefully it does.
I just want to know what you think I guess. I don’t think I have DID. I know I have a dissociative disorder. I don’t know which one, and I’m looking for a trauma specialist but I’m sure you know how difficult that can be .__.
I will always feel uncomfortable giving my opinion on whether someone else has DID or not, because I"m obviously not a professional! Even if I was, I wouldn't be able to give any real advice just from a comment on a video anyways ^^; My first advice is to always see a trauma specialist, but yeah I do know how difficult finding one can be.
Outside of that, I can give you resources and information, and talk a bit about my own experiences. Again, none of this is to point towards or away from you having any disorder, it's just information related to what you posted above.
-Amnesia in DID systems can vary, and they can experience full amnesia, emotional amnesia, and general dissociation (which can cause general memory loss) as well.
-Direct trauma, regardless of system type, can be completely forgotten or hidden from the system. Similar memory/trauma repression can happen to singlet w PTSD + similar trauma disorders as well
-DPDR is actually it's own disorder sub type, and can exist separately from DID/OSDD
-I always recommend brushing up on structural dissociation if you're questioning, because EPs/ANPs can exist outside of DID/OSDD disorders (but present very differently, obviously). I'll be making a video on it eventually? But in the mean time, you can read about it here: did-research.org/origin/structural_dissociation/index.html
I hope that information is helpful, and I wish you luck in finding a good specialist! It can be a disheartening search for a good therapist, but don't give up! 💜
I actually found my trauma specialist by going on the Psychology today wedpage. They have places to look for the particular specialist youre looking for and how close to you they are to you .
Good luck
Thank you for making this video. A friend of mine is an undiagnosed system and so I'm trying to educate myself so I can help them
Thanks for doing your research for them!!
I’m so glad I found your channel! I have OSDD-1b as well and I’m so happy to have found a channel who does too 😊 thank you for sharing your knowledge with the world! It will help break stigma for sure - Faith
Hi, Alex here (primary protector/external manager). I do most of the research and front more often than our other "host" (or what people might confuse with "original alter/body owner" which I've recently learned is incorrect). I've been trying to figure out exactly which DID/OSDD our system belongs too, and this video cleared some things up but also left me a little confused. We, or I, have amnesia from childhood and middle/early highschool which you touched upon, but the thing that confuses me is day to day amnesia. I don't really get full pictures or memories from day to day activity when another alter fronts (let's say, our introject), but the memories or snippits I do get don't feel like they lack the emotional sense of being there, it's as if what I remember is communicated internally. When I do experience or try and look back at said day-to-day activities, I understand where I've been for the most part but for example when I'm driving I often dissociate a lot and get turned around, lost, and even forget where I am from time to time. Does this just mean we have some sort of internal communication I'm unaware of, or is this a form of emotional amnesia/OSDD-1?
I apologize if my question is confusing, I don't mind clarifying things as necessary. It's difficult because I've just recently discovered being apart of a system, and am just recently beginning to wrap my head around being the one who fronts the most, while not being what I used to consider the "original alter" if that makes sense.
Our video on emotional amnesia might be helpful!
OH MY GOSH...TY EMOTIONAL AMNESIA...I sooo needed to know that word! I kept saying I don't feel like I belong to the day b4.
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Osdd-1a. Thank you for sharing and for the validation ❤
It's emotional amnesia omg I never had a name for it!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!
I suddenly understand the way I experience emotions and I just clicked because wanna learn more about osdd-1b it's so much harder to find information about it than DID, thank you so much
Thank you so, so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.