I got married last July. I’ve heard/read over and over again that the first year or marriage is terribly hard, you’ll fight all the time, and learning to live together will be frustrating. I ignored it in the first 5 months, and was pleasantly surprised when we were able to navigate differences in domestic preferences smoothly. But for some reason I started to internalize the above stereotypes of the first year, and instantly conflicts were harder to navigate and I assumed that marriage would always include being frustrated with each other’s differences. It was very discouraging. A month later I finally realized my thought process needs to be changed. We got better at communication and understanding, and its been much better. Marriage is sanctifying, and we’re trying to better ourselves constantly.
Hey Emily! Oh my gosh, I needed to hear as a woman and single. There has been many pressures that have been in my life lately in regards to dating, marriage and career. I put pressure on myself a lot of the time, saying, "by 30, I need to get married" or "I need to be well into my career". I need to trust in God's timing more, because I do fall into that trap of comparison with a lot of my friends and family members getting married. Thank you for the reminder that no matter which vocation I am in at the moment, it is not wasted and it is unique. I love it when you and your hubby talk about these topics with such confidence and intention. So, that's it for me! 😊 Keep up building God's kingdom on earth and I can't wait to see what you have next! 🥳🤗✝️🙏
"Comparison is the thief of joy." ~Teddy Roosevelt A phrase I like to use for comparison comments from others is, I'm right where God wants me to be. Another excellent video of advice! Very helpful reminders! You two are the best!
Hey Emily!! Just curious as to how much you should let money dictate your relationship timeline? (Such as waiting to get married until you’ve graduated college and have a job or just are financially stable. Or maybe not worry about money too much and just get married younger even though you might not have much saved up now?) Really loved this video, a great reminder!!
I love these videos with both Em & Daniël - I always feel such a sense of peace afterwards 😂😂 makes me feel more excited for dating & marriage and also more empowered not to listen to all the negativity out there! Thank God for the sacrament of marriage!! ❤️ made to last :)
That’s crazy, exactly when this video was posted I was talking for the first time with my boyfriend about the timeframe of getting engaged and married… And then I realize that you posted a video about it! Me and my bf we are both catholic and we found help trough God and catholic voices to help our bond and to give us signs. So I think that your video may be a sign about the argoument🥰
Great topic!😍 My boyfriend and I are dating for over 5 years now for the simple fact, that we are not ready to marry looking at our circumstances of life. We both still study and live with our parents and wouldn't be able to support ourselfs. Also I was 17 when we started dating (hes just a few years oder), so I want to feel somewhat grown up when I get married (I'm 23 now). Of course it is a weird feeling sometimes to see couples marrying after just 1 or 2 years of knowing each other but the knowledge that we'll have a whole lifetime together brings me comfort to stay patient and use my time until then much as I can☺️☺️
7:20 thank you for saying that some people have to process through a lot of hurt and it takes some people longer than it does others. I've been stressed about that timeline in regards to my mental illness, and this was a necessary reminder to just be patient with myself. i know my future husband will be, too (because I won't marry a guy who isn't)!
My half sister and her husband recently had their 10 year anniversary and are even more in love now than they were on their wedding day! There is hope 🔥
Thank you so much! It‘s something I definetly need to learn not to compare my relationship with my fiancé with other relationships. Sometimes I struggle with it and never has it brought any peace.
Wisdom is knowledge gained from experience. And while each relationship is unique, wisdom of the ages does recognize patterns. For example, dating too long makes it less likely you will get married and more likely that you will fall into sin. So a six month, 9 or 12 month timeline is the healthy path for dating. It means you're taking dating seriously. Similarly, in marriage, you must expect periods of consolation and desolation, good times and bad, so there will come times when you are tempted or have doubts, just as the butterfly stage will end.
Not that it’s the same BUT my sister and I never ever fought and I’d tell other people that I didn’t fight with my sister and they could NOT believe it. It actually really upset me because it made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Like I SHOULD “learn how to fight”. How backwards is that? I think there’s just some things that are super common in human nature and when other people don’t have those things (I definitely don’t have the fighting gene in me. I can argue every once in a blue moon- but it’s rare) it throws people off. I’ve always been super open about my feelings in a way that didn’t require me to fight. I actually became worried about entering into a relationship because I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle any conflicts that might arise because I “didn’t know how to fight.” I’m happy to say that I’m going on a year with this special person in my life and I’ve never felt like I was holding anything back. I’m incredibly open about my feelings and he is too and that prevents fights from coming about. It makes me comfortable knowing that we are so open because I’m sure we will have a fight some day, but we have set this foundation of trust and honesty that’s set us up to tell the other when/if what they have said has hurt us in any way.
This is great! Especially the expectations you get from other couples that say "this and this year of marriage will be hard". It depends on each couple, each marriage is unique! Thank you so much for this reminder! We are getting married in October and are only 24/22 by then and people are saying a lot of things, but in general approving of it 🙏 Im the older one, so it's easier on my families side 🙊
Very entertaining video. But also so true! Every single marriage is sui generis. Good times, bad times, unexpected "well, gee, who knew" moments, things to savor, things to work on, and changes over time (not according to any set or cliched timeline). Hopefully all anchored in love, respect, shared values, and faith, if that's you.
I love you both! I have watched your videos through different stages of my life perhaps not when they were uploaded, but this one is close. Keep up this wonderful Ministry!
Hi Emily, what do you think about the idea of “ playing married” because of long term dating ? I feel the longer you drag out dating the more you open the door of having these expectations of a marriage but without the commitment as well as failing into temptation sacrificing your purity. Shouldn’t there be a cap to dating because dating isn’t technically biblical ? The point of dating is to figure out if someone would make a good spouse and I think 2-3 years of dating is plenty of time to figure that out. Lastly, I think, ideally, Christian singles should workout their past relationship tramas before entering another relationship because that can be taxing on their partner and relationship.
Hi Emily, sorry if I sound rude. But I think about it, and I wonder, would people get married if there were no nice and romantic feelings (physical and emotional attraction etc.) in the beginning? Because those things disappear over time, and then what? It's just really hard after that, no? Why would someone in their right mind choose to get married? (I know I'm using strong language, but it's not a personal attach against married people). I guess what I'm trying to know is would people really get married if they knew how hard it got later? It's only that they experience these 'nice' feelings in the beginning that makes people want to get married.
I’m going to get married within the next year or two (I’m 28). I was very happy and independent as a single person. I’ve also been in enjoyable relationships which ended with relative ease and I floated on with my life. But this man has taken over my whole heart. It doesn’t matter what other great guys I could date, there is no man I could lie beside that would stop me wishing it was him. If love fades we have a foundation of intense respect, and we both have enough resilience that we’ll make it through the hard times. Yes, marriage will be “tough”, but easy does not mean fulfilling, nice does not mean meaningful and romance is not the same as love. If you’re going to be entirely vulnerable with someone, you’re going to want to base your devotion on more than loving thoughts and nice words, no matter how much you trust each other. Good question! Marriage is not for everyone to be sure.
@@MG-dr5mf your reply is so beautiful and definitely touched me as a single 20 year old who never wants to settle/wants to experience what you described one day
Hi Emily! I know most people will probably say dating at 16 is waaay too young, but that’s what I’m doing. My boyfriend and I are Catholic (but not very good ones😬) and we’ve decided to save sex for marriage. I take my relationship with him too seriously as my mom says because dating at this age should be fun. I don’t see it that way. Dating for marriage is a thing not for fun. He is a very sweet guy and we’ve worked through a lot in our friendship in the past to get where we are today (different political ideas and my mental illness issues) Do you have any advice for me?
I’m not Emily but as Catholics we believed we are saved by grace through faith! We must cooperate with that grace and continue living submitted to God every day
![[Watch Party] RoV Pro League 2024 Winter | ( Bacon Time Vs PSG )](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zM25REvnJW4/mqdefault.jpg)
Emily, thank you for all you do to single handedly keep me sane. Seriously, I can never express enough how helpful and refreshing your channel is.
That is so beautifully encouraging! Thank you so so much!
@@emwilss Of course ❤️❤️❤️
I got married last July. I’ve heard/read over and over again that the first year or marriage is terribly hard, you’ll fight all the time, and learning to live together will be frustrating. I ignored it in the first 5 months, and was pleasantly surprised when we were able to navigate differences in domestic preferences smoothly. But for some reason I started to internalize the above stereotypes of the first year, and instantly conflicts were harder to navigate and I assumed that marriage would always include being frustrated with each other’s differences. It was very discouraging. A month later I finally realized my thought process needs to be changed. We got better at communication and understanding, and its been much better. Marriage is sanctifying, and we’re trying to better ourselves constantly.
Thanks very much for sharing this. Congrats on your new marriage!
Hey Emily! Oh my gosh, I needed to hear as a woman and single. There has been many pressures that have been in my life lately in regards to dating, marriage and career. I put pressure on myself a lot of the time, saying, "by 30, I need to get married" or "I need to be well into my career". I need to trust in God's timing more, because I do fall into that trap of comparison with a lot of my friends and family members getting married. Thank you for the reminder that no matter which vocation I am in at the moment, it is not wasted and it is unique. I love it when you and your hubby talk about these topics with such confidence and intention. So, that's it for me! 😊 Keep up building God's kingdom on earth and I can't wait to see what you have next! 🥳🤗✝️🙏
"Comparison is the thief of joy." ~Teddy Roosevelt
A phrase I like to use for comparison comments from others is, I'm right where God wants me to be.
Another excellent video of advice! Very helpful reminders! You two are the best!
Well said! Thank you!
Hey Emily!! Just curious as to how much you should let money dictate your relationship timeline? (Such as waiting to get married until you’ve graduated college and have a job or just are financially stable. Or maybe not worry about money too much and just get married younger even though you might not have much saved up now?)
Really loved this video, a great reminder!!
I love these videos with both Em & Daniël - I always feel such a sense of peace afterwards 😂😂 makes me feel more excited for dating & marriage and also more empowered not to listen to all the negativity out there! Thank God for the sacrament of marriage!! ❤️ made to last :)
I love that! Thanks for sharing this!
That’s crazy, exactly when this video was posted I was talking for the first time with my boyfriend about the timeframe of getting engaged and married… And then I realize that you posted a video about it! Me and my bf we are both catholic and we found help trough God and catholic voices to help our bond and to give us signs. So I think that your video may be a sign about the argoument🥰
Would LOVE for you all to dive more into the difference in having "peace about the relationship" and having fear of commitment?
Yess please
Great topic!😍 My boyfriend and I are dating for over 5 years now for the simple fact, that we are not ready to marry looking at our circumstances of life. We both still study and live with our parents and wouldn't be able to support ourselfs. Also I was 17 when we started dating (hes just a few years oder), so I want to feel somewhat grown up when I get married (I'm 23 now). Of course it is a weird feeling sometimes to see couples marrying after just 1 or 2 years of knowing each other but the knowledge that we'll have a whole lifetime together brings me comfort to stay patient and use my time until then much as I can☺️☺️
7:20
thank you for saying that some people have to process through a lot of hurt and it takes some people longer than it does others. I've been stressed about that timeline in regards to my mental illness, and this was a necessary reminder to just be patient with myself. i know my future husband will be, too (because I won't marry a guy who isn't)!
My half sister and her husband recently had their 10 year anniversary and are even more in love now than they were on their wedding day! There is hope 🔥
That is awesome!
Thank you so much! It‘s something I definetly need to learn not to compare my relationship with my fiancé with other relationships. Sometimes I struggle with it and never has it brought any peace.
Wisdom is knowledge gained from experience. And while each relationship is unique, wisdom of the ages does recognize patterns. For example, dating too long makes it less likely you will get married and more likely that you will fall into sin. So a six month, 9 or 12 month timeline is the healthy path for dating. It means you're taking dating seriously. Similarly, in marriage, you must expect periods of consolation and desolation, good times and bad, so there will come times when you are tempted or have doubts, just as the butterfly stage will end.
Not that it’s the same BUT my sister and I never ever fought and I’d tell other people that I didn’t fight with my sister and they could NOT believe it. It actually really upset me because it made me feel like I was doing something wrong. Like I SHOULD “learn how to fight”. How backwards is that? I think there’s just some things that are super common in human nature and when other people don’t have those things (I definitely don’t have the fighting gene in me. I can argue every once in a blue moon- but it’s rare) it throws people off. I’ve always been super open about my feelings in a way that didn’t require me to fight. I actually became worried about entering into a relationship because I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle any conflicts that might arise because I “didn’t know how to fight.” I’m happy to say that I’m going on a year with this special person in my life and I’ve never felt like I was holding anything back. I’m incredibly open about my feelings and he is too and that prevents fights from coming about. It makes me comfortable knowing that we are so open because I’m sure we will have a fight some day, but we have set this foundation of trust and honesty that’s set us up to tell the other when/if what they have said has hurt us in any way.
This is great! Especially the expectations you get from other couples that say "this and this year of marriage will be hard". It depends on each couple, each marriage is unique! Thank you so much for this reminder! We are getting married in October and are only 24/22 by then and people are saying a lot of things, but in general approving of it 🙏 Im the older one, so it's easier on my families side 🙊
Hooray! Congratulations on your engagement!
Thank you Daniel and Emily for your insight - you are both so well spoken!
Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you!
Very entertaining video. But also so true! Every single marriage is sui generis. Good times, bad times, unexpected "well, gee, who knew" moments, things to savor, things to work on, and changes over time (not according to any set or cliched timeline). Hopefully all anchored in love, respect, shared values, and faith, if that's you.
I love you both! I have watched your videos through different stages of my life perhaps not when they were uploaded, but this one is close. Keep up this wonderful Ministry!
Wow, thank you!
Thank you Emily! I'm hoping to just meet my future husband and go on dates. No timeline but would love that to happen soon, God willing 🙏❤
Hi Emily, what do you think about the idea of “ playing married” because of long term dating ? I feel the longer you drag out dating the more you open the door of having these expectations of a marriage but without the commitment as well as failing into temptation sacrificing your purity. Shouldn’t there be a cap to dating because dating isn’t technically biblical ? The point of dating is to figure out if someone would make a good spouse and I think 2-3 years of dating is plenty of time to figure that out. Lastly, I think, ideally, Christian singles should workout their past relationship tramas before entering another relationship because that can be taxing on their partner and relationship.
I definitely agree with your points 👌
Yes this is a tendency 8n today's cultural. Excellent point.
Refreshing perspective! thank you!
Glad you enjoyed it!
You both have so much wisdom.
Thank you Johanna
Thank you so much for the two of you bringing such helpful insights. I really appreciate it. 💛💛
Greetings from the Dominican Republic guys ❤️
Hi Nicole!!! Greetings right back to you!!
❤️ Just what I needed to hear! God Bless!!🙏
Thank you so much friends! Great video!
Thank you 🤗
How i love you both ♥ and Daniel is becoming great youtuber! I love it God bless your family
Thank you so much! :)
The sound effects 🤣 = gold!
Hey thanks for noticing!!!!
Thank you for the great video. You two give great advice.
Thank you!
Thank you for this video Emily!
You are welcome Jonathan!
Great video. Please can you do a video on sexual purity and chastity
Hi Emily, sorry if I sound rude. But I think about it, and I wonder, would people get married if there were no nice and romantic feelings (physical and emotional attraction etc.) in the beginning? Because those things disappear over time, and then what? It's just really hard after that, no? Why would someone in their right mind choose to get married? (I know I'm using strong language, but it's not a personal attach against married people). I guess what I'm trying to know is would people really get married if they knew how hard it got later? It's only that they experience these 'nice' feelings in the beginning that makes people want to get married.
I’m going to get married within the next year or two (I’m 28). I was very happy and independent as a single person. I’ve also been in enjoyable relationships which ended with relative ease and I floated on with my life. But this man has taken over my whole heart. It doesn’t matter what other great guys I could date, there is no man I could lie beside that would stop me wishing it was him. If love fades we have a foundation of intense respect, and we both have enough resilience that we’ll make it through the hard times. Yes, marriage will be “tough”, but easy does not mean fulfilling, nice does not mean meaningful and romance is not the same as love. If you’re going to be entirely vulnerable with someone, you’re going to want to base your devotion on more than loving thoughts and nice words, no matter how much you trust each other.
Good question! Marriage is not for everyone to be sure.
@@MG-dr5mf your reply is so beautiful and definitely touched me as a single 20 year old who never wants to settle/wants to experience what you described one day
@@MG-dr5mf if you don’t mind sharing, how did you meet this person and know with certainty that you wanted to marry each other?
Hi Emily! I know most people will probably say dating at 16 is waaay too young, but that’s what I’m doing. My boyfriend and I are Catholic (but not very good ones😬) and we’ve decided to save sex for marriage. I take my relationship with him too seriously as my mom says because dating at this age should be fun. I don’t see it that way. Dating for marriage is a thing not for fun. He is a very sweet guy and we’ve worked through a lot in our friendship in the past to get where we are today (different political ideas and my mental illness issues) Do you have any advice for me?
so sweet ❤️
This is so good!!!
Thank you!
My sister dated her ex 6 years and never got a ring. We think he was gay.
🥰🥰🥰
Hi Emily! How do you get to heaven, according to catholicism?
I’m not Emily but as Catholics we believed we are saved by grace through faith! We must cooperate with that grace and continue living submitted to God every day