Family Is Expecting Us To Pay for Their Vacation
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2024
- 💵 Plan your monthly spending for free with EveryDollar- ter.li/1j40v5
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET or send us a message - www.ramseysolutions.com/shows...
🏦 Take Your 3-Minute Money Assessment - ter.li/fi5xhh
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/rqwdws
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/tmj3vq
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/s5yazz
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/dc2gee
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/a6emrr
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/v8n4u8
📈EntrLeadership ⮕ ter.li/g7s9g0
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolutions.com/compa...
I dunno about anyone else, but if I don't have cash for a vacation, I don't go on vacation.
Credit card.
Same. I can not commit to a budget even using a debit card I gotta withdraw the cash😂
I have cash for vacation and I still don't go. It's not fun if you do it alone lol.
@@miketheyunggod2534 if someone has to use a credit card for a vacation they can't afford it.
@@front331 solo travel is a lot of fun!
Dave needs to have a special segment where callers give updates on what happened after the call.
I love that idea.
A Where Are They Now series would be brilliant
Yessss. I want to hear from the female caller who called while her boyfriend was there, she was scared and Dave had to call the cops to do a wellness check
@@Mom2jems Wow! I never heard that call in. That must have been compelling as hell.
@@ctcv-to8kq I think it's in one of the most bizarre videos. She wants to sell her home and I think she's sitting in her car and the guy has the child in his hands while trying to open the car or something like that
I can’t imagine demanding my brother and his wife to pay for ME , MY HUSBAND, AND MY 5 KIDS! wtf!?!? 🤬 😮
She didn't. The siblings clearly have gotten together and organized this so that they can consistently do reunions. The siblings are frustrated.
@@madisonhruschka3718 yeah but even if all my siblings band together and asked that’s still unacceptable and they’re adults they know about the vacation. They were apart of it and would know this.
I thought at first she was a single college student or something
Most people wouldn’t.
It's called people who have zero clue about boundaries. I was raised in a culture like that. It's toxic.
They decided to have 5 kids.
They decided to homeschool.
They decided to have a low income (she could work).
You need to kindly tell them no.
This is our family.
I left a lucrative career as an RN to stay home and homeschool.
My husband, after 11 years in his field, makes $57k/year gross.
We don’t take vacations, but we live every day the way we value life.
This caller’s in-laws are all entitled.
@@katiejon17I think you should go back to work. You are suffering for no reason.
@@timm285 “suffering”? LOL - we paid off $145k in debt in 6.5 years, then bought a home with a 15 year mortgage that will be paid off within 5 years - only 2.5 more years to go. And we have a fully funded emergency fund, and 8 fully-funded sinking funds... That’s not “suffering” - that’s being in control of your finances.
Child care expenses would negate working.
How much do you think childcare costs for 5 kids....?
“No” is a complete sentence.
You usually need a ? Or !!! to make it a complete sentence lol
Exactly!
This is exactly why I don't talk to my family about my income, investment strategy, nor net worth
Always add thank you, it completes the answer politely.
Past gifts were just that - gifts. Have other priorities now. You will see them locally then.
No it ain’t.
Almost.... "No." (with the period 😀) is a complete sentence.
My favorite Maya Angelou quote, "When people show you who they are, believe them."
Choosing to be a stay at home mom is wonderful but you have to forget about the things a second paycheck would cover
No. These people (and so many others) want to eat their cake, but still have it (the way that saying is supposed to go).
“Gratitude turned into entitlement”. Key observation there. Once that happens, it’s time to do a hard stop and say goodbye if needed.
@jasondueck9130 👍
“Adults don’t need to buy adults gifts” PREACH IT JADE
"Need" being the keyword. I WANT to give my friends gifts when they get married or have a baby, and I WANT to buy their dinner if we go out for their birthday.
@@emoney1231 You're free to give as much money away as you please.
I don’t do gifts either. For what? We all throw materialistic things at each other and evaluate how much we like each other based on what it is we buy, and most of the times it’ll just get regifted or sit in a junk drawer never to be seen again. No. Time, is the most valuable thing we gift each other. Let’s stop playing Santa. This goes for my husband too - I don’t ever ask for anything bc I can buy myself, but we will plan a special trip together to make lasting memories.
I am not sure how many time I have bought an adult a gift that isn’t my wife or girlfriend or a wedding or event. Maybe a gift exchange. I don’t want you to give me any worthless junk either.
@@SpicyKimchi- I like the way you think.
Listen all families don’t go on vacations, and this is why. Everyone can’t afford it, so go on your vacations by yourselves.
You can still go on vacation. Get a tent. The camping spot is cheap. Your kids can learn to catch lizards like I did. Just because you are poor doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. You just have to do things that are low cost. A international vacation is out of the reach of most people with kids. Insane.
@@joesmith3590 Agreed....people need to be more creative and resourceful to keep costs low while prioritizing time together and just having a nice experience.
@@joesmith3590 I agree. Holidays can be very cheap. But these people want a foreign holiday for 7. For free.
Unfortunately my daughter always needs her cousin when we go on vacation. Her mom is broke so we have to pay 90% of her expenses. She got 10k in income tax but only gave $130 for airline ticket and that was it.
How is going on vacation with all your relatives actually a vacation for anyone involved? It’s my idea of hell. A weekend is fine… but a trip overseas with your in laws? Yikes…sounds awful.
In some ways, choosing to have a large family and Mom staying at home to homeschool is commendable (my daughter and her husband did this). BUT embrace the ramifications too. Vacation is a trip to the park or ocean with sandwiches. Nothing wrong with that!
Hey, some of my most beautiful childhood memories come from sitting on a windswept caravan site eating sandwiches out of a tupperware box.
I agree, and it's very reassuring for me to read comments like yours and a few that others have left. This issue hits close to home with me because my mom chose not to have a career -ever-, and instead decided to homeschool me and my three siblings. She came from a home where both of the parents worked, pretty much tirelessly, for the entire duration of the career-window in their lives. While my grandparents were not overwhelmingly wealthy, they always had generous amounts of funds available beyond their necessary expenses. For the entirety of my childhood and adolescence, my mom was a bitter, nasty woman who got herself into financially-binding situations that my dad could not cover. She would just allow these situations to escalate until my grandparents finally broke down and would give her the money she needed to dig her out of whatever was going on. I think my dad handled it by hiding his head in the sand, so to speak, because he had no better way to resolve the situation. No matter how stressful our family's financial situation became, my mom refused to get a job. She would basically crazy-make until someone would concede and give her her way or pay for something that she couldn't cover. My dad ended up getting colon cancer and passed away seven years ago after working all of his adult life. She wanted to be the SAH homeschooling mom, but was constantly focusing on how other people weren't aligning with her views, validating her, and would still try to do things that could only be afforded by a two-income household. She is a great example of someone who wanted to have her cake and eat it, too. I won't deny that there were good things that came from me being homeschooled, even while living with such a jealous and childish mother, but I often think about how insane it was for her to have believed she could embark on the journey of trying to swing homeschooling with no job while at the same time resenting people who could do things that we couldn't without help. Sorry for the novel, but this whole topic really sets me on fire because of how many other people's lives are affected by people who demand the same level of privilege when they haven't chosen a life that provided that.
Ps - she's still like this even after my dad's death. She has gone through all of his life insurance money and went even more off the deep end to the point where I don't think she actually CAN secure and maintain a career, much less a job. She lives off of social security in her mid-fifties and whatever money my youngest sister (who just turned 20 and still lives with her) is willing to give. Even though I think it's reasonable to expect my younger sister to pay a small amount in things like rent and food now that she's an adult, my mom contributes nothing except for what she recieves from her ss check. I think my mom will attempt to persuade my younger sister to live with her as long as possible in order to avoid dealing with financial and other types of responsibilities. There is no encouragement in my household for adult children to grow up and develop an adult life. It's treated more like an option (that I think my mom would be ok with if any of us had refused) just so long as she is able to use other people's income to escape surviving and thriving on her own. It's so sad. I have a lot of concern for my younger sister.
@@llan_mi2420 Ugghh she makes a good “bad example”.
@@llan_mi2420 could it be possible at all that your mother has a form of NPD? I'm no expert but maybe something to look into to protect yourself. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
So her husband doesn't have a "big" income and she willingly chooses to stay home and homeschool. Then she complains about not having enough money and everyone else is calling them selfish? Yeah makes total sense.
And keeps having kid after kid.
She never complained. The siblings got upset.
@@madisonhruschka3718 👍
@@madisonhruschka3718 Yeah I think he missed that nuance. The one who's chosen to be poor is probably not entitled. The rest want to be a tight knit family and it's a reasonable expecation to all contribute. Flying 7 people overseas is a whole other level though.
For people who choose to stay home from working a job to “homeschool”, unless their husband makes a lot…then they are trying to live on a champaign budget with a koolaid backup. They should have backed out right away knowing this is above and beyond other vacations they have mooched off other people. Taking kids overseas is a bit privileged.
“Her, her husband and her FIVE kids”😂😩😂😩
That part was hysterical. They are seven people...rent a van and go camping.
@JustinCase780 Right! They chose to have 5 kids on a low income, so international travel is almost-definitely going to be a no-go, at least until the income goes up. People are ridiculous
Daves face when she says that 😮 lol
That was crazy! The entitlement 🤢
I’m certainly Not against homeschooling & stay at home moms!! But those decisions mean tightening the belt on extravagances! They Should Nit expect other family to pay for them!!
On the other side, is the rest of the family being inconsiderate making said travel plans knowing that the one family cannot possibly afford it?? There may be more going on here . . Jmho
I have a family of 7. Wife at home and 5 kids and I would never in my life expect my family to pay for me to go on a trip. They would get met with the quick "sorry we can't come because it's out of our budget". If we can't drive to it we won't be there. I can't believe they're just expecting it.
@jbivphotography The reason they're just expecting it, is because apparently this couple has been paying for the other family to go on trips in the past, and so the family that's been paid for is used to that, and is expecting things to stay the same as they've always been. When the family that's been paying finally gets up the guts to say no, it's not understood in the beginning by the paid for family, but the paid for family will soon find out that it's not going to be the way it's always been in the past any longer.
Same
Im sorry for your situation. 5 kids and stay at home wife, what a nightmare and soul sucking life you have
Pleas get a vasectomy, that’s way too many children. At least one will feel neglected and become a diddler. Bad job.
Same here- homeschooling family with 5 kids and I would not change anything about that decision. When we vacation, we drive and plan to budget for it. I know I’ve got years ahead for overseas vacations, but these are not those years and I don’t think our kids are missing out because their lives are full of family and experiences. Sadly lots of ill opinions about larger families in the comments.
One of my siblings couldn't afford Christmas gifts, so they made my grandchildren homemade cookies. Thekids loved it. We have not raised them to put a price on love.
I remember my Nana (great-grand-mother) hand made a bead necklace for all the kids. I still have it 50 years later. I loved it when I first got it and still live it.
I organize a Gingerbread House Party for the my child, nieces and nephews a week before Christmas. All home-made cookies and each kid decorates their own little house. A lot of fun and no extra toys they don't need cluttering their house. Plus my brother use that time without the kids to buy their Christmas gift.
Regarding Christmas gifts, I suggested several times over the years that I and my siblings families draw names, limit $$, etc., but our MOTHER had a hissy! So, it couldn't be allowed. However, after my family moved away from the "home town area" and all four of us siblings were geographically many miles (states even) apart there wasn't any problem again. We stopped sending gifts to each other. If we wanted to or could afford to the kids got smaller gifts, the family always got a Christmas card, and sometimes an adult or "family food" gift was sent. Too bad we had to move.
These days the ingredients often cost more than the “ready-made. Plus of course that most valuable of ingredients, their time. 😉
I’m 62 and I helped my brother and sister in law move across country last year. It was hard physical labor. As we were talking I said I have never had a microwave ever. I get home a few days later and there’s a big box on my porch. My sis in law ordered me a microwave. I guess I did a good job helping them move. LoL
This family that truly cares and appreciates each other.
Love it! That's how families should operate. :)
@@MarisaStone-tb9lq
All my life I’ve been bragging about how strong I am. My brother called my bluff. LoL.
He said the moving co. Quoted him $21k.
We did it counting hotels and restaurants and gas and two rented big trucks for $14k. So he’s happy
Yeah but your old bro
microwaves are very cheap, nowadays there's inflation, but 10, 20 yrs ago you can get a very good quality microwave for $30, or buy a used one at a garage sale(they don't break down easily so ppl sell the old ones when they want to upgrade kitchen appliances) for even cheaper price, if you can afford to go on youtube to watch videos, you can afford to get a microwave. And cross country trips are not cheap, even if you split it with your brother, so I don't believe you couldn't get a microwave because you can not afford it, there must be other reasons
Generosity is not a life long commitment. It's on a case by case basis based upon the giver.
My family is having a family reunion on a cruise this year in July. My crew will not be going (2 adults and 3 kids.) I would never allow my family to pay for me. They offered to take my kids but I also said no thank you. I will be at the next family reunion next year in Texas. 🥰
We will be at the beach for now which is free. 😂
Yes, this is what I don't understand about the husband's family. Why would they put a plan in place that would be this expensive, knowing 7 people would need a free ride. The husband should've said something before the planning started. Family reunions are wonderful but they need to be reasonable.
This is why I love our family reunion. We've had it in the tiny Midwestern town where our family started since right after the war. It does involve traveling for those who've moved to opposite ends of the country but most of us live in the state or right over the state line. Crazily, more people come every year.
I support letting the kids go. Me and my sister went on a few vacations without our parents money since it's just about the kids having fun.
@@sunofabob Nope. Not on a cruise ship which is filled with strangers and thousands of doors/rooms to hide people in. Adults have gone missing, been killed, fell overboard, been assaulted on cruise ships. No child that I was responsible for would be on a cruise ship under my watch let alone without me. Don't care how much I trusted my siblings.
@@meomy29 aww that’s been going on for a while that’s sooo good!!!!! I love family reunions. I think my grandmother started it in the 80’s in Boston MA. Now we rotate Atlanta, Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, Massachusetts, Tennessee but now everyone wanted to throw a cruise into the mix 😂😞
We homeschooled when our children were younger. We did not expect other to pay for things like vacations. We just did without.
My mom homeschooled my three siblings and I also. My grandparents (her parents) paid in full for almost every single vacation I've ever been on in my life. They would pay for everyone in my family to go. I wish my parents had refused to go on those vacations because I think - even though they never said it out loud, at least my dad, who was the sole income earner in my family, had the thought that it took away the blessing of him being able to pay for his family's vacations. People might think it sounds awesome to have a family member who pays for all sorts of things in their lives, but I have to guess that in almost every case, it ends up being a horrible vessel for resentment, shame, and feelings of obligation toward the family member who pays for everything. I think it's a blessing to suffer or gain from your own choices alone.
We made similar sacrifices, and while we didn't go on big vacations, my kids visited most of the museums, park and attraction within 150 miles of our home. They didn't miss out and those big vacations will be more meaningful when they have earned them as adults.
She said she can't afford the thousands of dollars it will cost her for her "share" of paying for her sister's vacation. That should be enough. If the sister can't afford to pay for it herself, why would a sibling that also can't afford it be expected to pay?
It’s bordering on becoming a “duty” now…a financial obligation that the other families must include in their budgets.😭
Because I doubt she can't afford it for real
They have a year to save up. If it’s important to them, they’ll get it done.
One of them can get an evening job and save all the money from it
Or they can take out a loan for this one special trip, and then find ways to pay it back gradually. Exactly, this is all do-able; they will just have to put in extra effort for this particular trip.
You are right about that.
My mom has 14 adult children and spouses and 21 adult grandchildren and 5 great-grandkids. Last year, my Mom decided she's not buying any more gift cards for every adult. She made a list of charities and we each got to choose the charity we wanted her to donate to. I'm technically the only one who got a Christmas gift and a big one at that! ...I'm a Missionary Pilot in Haiti with Hope From Above Ministries and most chose HFAM as the recipient. 😀
My grandparents had the rule that once the kids had kids the cards and gifts would go to grandkids, same once the grandkids had kids. They have 7 children between them 23 grandkids and I think we are going on 15 great grandkids now (hell maybe 20 mine was the first so I lost track) so I don't blame them one bit lol. That's expensive to keep up with.
🥰🥰🥰
I married into a poorer family. When I bought a new refrigerator because mine broke and they told me I was bragging. They are jealous of everything.
I have 3 siblings and I used to think it was weird when other families would have a falling out, and then in my 50s it dawned on me - Dude WE are the weird ones, we get along, we have a minimum of drama, we like and support each other. Weird.
I had a boss who always said “no good deed goes unpunished.” Definitely true with this family!
😂My boss always said the same thing!
In my family we all have good incomes so we're all difficult to shop for, and no one had kids. We don't exchange gifts at Christmas. We get together, enjoy each other's company, and make larger donations to charity.
Wow great 👍 thank you to you and your family!
That was the Choice THAT Family made
.It was THEIR Choice .
So it should be THEIR Sacrifice.
NOT Everyone elses.
Yes. Adults make decisions and accept all that comes with it, good or bad. You don't make a decision and expect others to pick up the slack just so you can live on the same financial plane as they do.
My mother remarried recently and her now husband is from a different country. She decided to marry overseas. I was in the middle of selling my old house buying a new house and moving 3 hrs away from my old house. I had to tell mom we weren't going to be able to go. She was fine with it and so were my two siblings but relatives not so much. "How could you miss your mother's wedding?"... 🙄
Simple, not a good time financially for our family. Unfortunately some cultures are toxic when it comes to boundaries.
"Now that you're bitching, the gate is closed."
Yep, if they don't appreciate what they get, that means they get nothing at all.
The word "No" is a complete sentence. Everyone can kick rocks if they don't like it.
That family is taking the ole saying, "It takes a village to raise a family", to a whole new level.
Funny AF! 🤣😂🤣
Friends and family expecting you to financially support them because you’re well off is so cringe, I have many friends constantly asking me for loans and idk now to start saying no
Pay up then!
Tell them if you gave a loan to everyone that asks, you will be needing a loan. No is a complete sentence.
Certainly. Hope that vacation didn't cost you ninety thousand dollars...
A no to someone else is a yes to yourself.
I don't loan money to friends or family. Full stop. End the conversation there.
About being able to go on family vacations - my family took one "family vacation". My dad was self employed and didn't take time off. We actually went on a driving vacation on one weekend through 2 or 3 states and that was it. No overseas vacation, no disney world. We did stuff like going to the airport and watching planes take off and land. He just chose not to spend his money on vacations. We always had what we needed and never went without. I don't hold that against him at all, it actually gives me a different perspective on things!
That was our family too. We took one vacation a year driving to the nearby Midwestern state to visit my dad's brother, 3 kids crammed into the back seat of a regular car, and would see sights on the way there and back (like a "corn palace", a building made of corn cobs...stuff like that...same stuff every year). After they had a falling out, we instead went once a year to the local fishing hole where you rented a rustic cabin for a week to go fishing. Oh yeah, I think I am the only one in my immediate family (parents + siblings) that has ever had a passport to this day. I don't know if our dads ever "chose" to not spend money on vacations; probably (since, as a kid, we never knew just how much our parents made) it was more like they couldn't afford to. I don't remember getting any gifts for my birthday as a kid...not even one, past a certain age, and certainly not birthday parties. All you got was a cake that they bought from the local grocery store that you were allowed to eat after supper (no gifts or singing "Happy Birthday" either), and if you had anything written on it, it was because the grocery store would write it for free if you asked them. I don't remember getting gifts for Xmas past age 6...my parents would actually wrap empty boxes and lie to people that they were gifts. When it got out they were empty, we were suppose to say they were decorations and we'd get the real presents at Xmas (nope). If people said anything, my parents would say "Oh, we just buy them what they need throughout the year." Life went on...we all survived...we had the basics.
Don't invite them to the vacation if they broke
The issue having more than other family members is that those less wealthy don't believe you budget. They truly think you spend freely (needs to be on them) and have more to give.
Exactly stop counting my money and budgeting based on my money I say NO!!! My favorite word.😅
We have always budgeted, both of us worked, saved and invested biweekly. An older aunt near us, spends beyond her means, never budgets, and expects us to give her cash when she whines about being broke, which is always. I worked while raising my children so we could pay for college, travel, retire comfortably and spend time with our family. Our children budget, save, and are overall happy. The Apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. The aunt believes our money is her’s, she’s a narcissist. My husband and I are ready to say NO! No amount of money can pay for her entitled life🤔
@@lindamaag3541 say no! No!
"Gratitude turned into entitlement." So incredibly true. It's crazy how people who have been given wonderful gifts lose all their (fake) gratitude the one time someone says 'no'. That's terrible, entitled behaviour.
Not only no!!!!....but f*** no!!!!
Literally 😂😂
2 get-togethers, one easy and cheap, think camping at a lake. 2nd one is for those who can afford to go. That way at least one everyone could afford.
The husband of the sisters in law has no pride.. no way would my husband or I feel comfortable being such a burden on or friend or family
Right on, but you give people too much credit.
Several of my siblings will take advantage of anyone who doesn't say no. They have no pride.
@@GAFB1122 👍 True...takers gonna take if we let them.
I TOTALLY agree with you about drawing names for gifts! Our family started small, so gifts to everyone was okay. As marriages happened and the families grew, it became a financial drain. Much to EVERYONE’S relief, we drew names for the adults but kept Christmas for all the children up to a certain age, gift wise.
That's why I cut off financially helping friends, relatives and other people a few years ago. They never paid back any loans and some never bothered to get a job.
Yup. Same here. We had sponges for way too long and always an excuse for not working
Some need loans to begin with, because they are financially irresponsible or can't budget.
The chances are pretty good that they won't be able to repay you. With a family fallout or broken friendship as a result.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend. - Shakespeare -
Just tell them. "Law 40 of 48. Despise the free lunch. Anything offered for free is dangerous. It either involves a trick or a hidden obligation."
I hate that i offer to pay for things for friends like them coming to a festival with me and never ask for anything back
@@willleslie2745 those aren’t friends, they’re opportunists.
📠
As a single male in my family I don’t think it’s fair to buy 40 gifts for everyone on Christmas when I only qualify for like 4 in return lol
My family stopped giving gifts. Yes, unfair to you. Time for you to have a family conversation.
Christmas is a dumb and fake holiday. Just for gifts and buying merchandise
Try and have "vacations" closer to the sibling who isn't as well off. Problem solved
yeah seems pretty simple to me we cant swing it lets change loction
She said they do that every year. This trip is special as it’s to visit their country of origin. They shouldn’t not go because someone in the family can’t afford it! It’s a year away! You can’t put away enough cash in that time, you don’t go.
They always did that. But now some want a foreign holiday instead.
Totally thought this was a younger sister who was by herself and just young. Not an ADULT with a HUSBAND and 5 KIDS!!!! Lololololol
That’s called burying the lead. It’s poor storytelling.
I don't play that guilt trip nonsense. Pay your own way. Period.
People... this lady DOES work. But should she expect others to pay for her vacation...no. But she does work. The world needs more stay at home moms
Work emplies she has a paying job. That’s what “does he or she work” mean. It’s always meant that.
I WAS that young sibling in my 20's. I didn't have money and family typically had to pay for my meals, trips etc. Now I've made a point of never asking and paying my own way, the first time I picked up a meal check for my older brother he was really impressed. I'm now saving for our family get-together this summer, money for all of my stuff and some to pitch in for others. For the record, I don't have a big income either but I do side hustles if I want extra money for things.
I don't WANT their help now, I want to pay my own way and help out so these people in this example really need to grow up and work for the things they want.
Sister in law needs to just take her Brady Bunch to the local pool and buy them some Dominoes or Little Caesars.
Also, my dad's side of the family was pretty well off and when I was a kid we all would give everyone presents. Man that was a pain in the ass. Shopping for everyone and then wrapping all of the gifts and then cramming all of the gifts into our car each Christmas to take over to the family Christmas party. Then one year someone suggested that we change things up and draw names and limit it to like $25 you could just see the relief on everyone's face.
I thought it was gonna be like like an 18 or 19 year old college student living with parents and she's actually married with 5 kids. So the family wants them to pay for 7 people not just some young female in the family.
My neighbor's family has a relatively expensive family vacation similar to what the caller is talking about. They all stay 6 days in July at the Hotel del Coronado in San Diego. My neighbor's parents and their parents' siblings started the tradition. Now they have several grandchildren and great grandchildren and they need 10 to 12 rooms that go for $700/night. They always have some family members that can't afford it that the rest have to pay for. There's always a couple of people that can't make it for one reason or another, but it's no coincidence that the people that aren't paying for themselves NEVER miss going.
With all due respect, even tho the room cost per night is astronomical ($700/night for San Diego???), the cost of flying a family of 7 (2 parents + 5 kids) overseas and back and all their expenses in between would be quadruple that cost...at least. Your neighbor's San Diego trip sounds like the standard trip every year that this family also supported & paid for the lower income part of the family to go...this overseas trip is a whole different animal as far as costs are concerned, I'm thinking. The lower income family can take on a "special project" to earn money for this "special", more costly vacation. The older kids can get part-time jobs or side hustles, or more importantly, the MOM can, maybe at night, since it's her side of the family that's taking this vacation. They can take out a vacation loan and pay it back slowly, gradually. They have a whole year to do this. It would be perfectly understandable, because this is a special, much more expensive trip.
@@bettywith2girls LOL!!! you're not serious are you??? $700 dollars a night isn't "normal" that's luxury.
@@bettywith2girls First of all that trip is a luxury vacation and unless you all can afford your share then pick somewhere else to go. How about a big barbecue party in a park where everyone brings food and drink. Maybe set up fun activities and games for the everyone. Secondly grandparents should be putting their money toward retirement or long term care when they are old and sick. I wonder if all these people, particularly the non payer's will contribute to the nursing home care. I think their pocket books will be tightly zipped up. Lastly, helping once is not a commitment to a lifetime of paying for other's vacation's. Also, are you all paying for the food, drinks, snacks, souvenir's and how about the vacation clothing ( bathing suits, shorts, tops, dresses etc..) that the non payor's will need to fit into the luxury vibe at the resort?
Pay for your own vacation
Then don't invite them in the first place.
@jimmymcgill6778 you can invite someone but inviting someone doesn't mean you have to pay for them.
If someone invites me to do something and I can't afford it, I just say thanks for the invite but I can't afford that right now.
We quit buying gifts for adults years ago. Like when they became adults!!
I did not hear that the sibling who has been helped out is the one who is kicking up a fuss that they don’t want to pay for the vacation this time. It is the other siblings.
I'm with you Dave...I live in Iowa and was in my 30's before I saw the ocean...to busy working and paying bills ... Good things come to those that wait ...
I got to see the ocean while flying over it to go to Saudi Arabia during Desert Shield.
That's why I was a waiter at Pizza hut.
My mid 20s DD has never seen the ocean. She has, though, driven down Lake Shore Drive and, as a baby, visited her great grandmother in MI & played in Lake Michigan. As an young child, our parents wanted us to see the West. Dipped my toes in the ocean for a few minutes.
I doubt most Americans have been to either coast.
She mentioned the in-laws being from another country and unfortunately, many foreigners still hold the false stereotype that America is this great wealthy nation that it once was decades ago...I mean it's obviously still very much a wealthy nation, however, the number of Americans who hold that wealth is far smaller than what it once was.
They see that Americans make higher salaries but they don't realize that American life is much more expensive for housing, food, maybe gas, many other things.
Some people hate government handleouts but find family handouts "self-sufficient". If anyone helps you out, especially for something non-essential, be grateful. Don't expect it indefinitely.
They could probably have a family get together within their budget but now they expect to receive what other relatives who made different financial and family choices get. The first Yes should've come with expectation of a last Yes, or it should have been a No.
I suggested drawing names when I was a broke college kid. Drawing names is now a Thanksgiving tradition.
You want to go on fancy vacation overseas, sacrifice and save up like the rest of us.
Rule number one: We don't talk about money with anyone. Period!
Dave is right. I didn’t go overseas until I was grown and could afford it. It’s not that serious
Splitting the cost for a domestic vacation - sharing a large house for example - is do-able. But splitting the costs for a European vacation or 2 adults and FIVE children is a HUGE expense! A family of 7 would probably need 3 hotel rooms each night plus meals and in country travel expenses.
I have very very wealthy relatives.
My Dad asked his BIL fir a 10K loan about 30 years ago and he said no.
My Dad was a super honest person he would never have stiffed him. Ever. He has too much pride.
My Dad/ family never asked anyone in the family for money again.
That made my Dad more determined to do it all himself and he did.
Then a different BIL asked my dad for 5K once and he gave it to him no question.
He got paid back for that.
He had his own business and he made it very successful.
We never talked to the first uncle again.
The trouble is, that people who need loans to begin with, are often unable to pay them back. Even when they intend to.
And then the unpleasantness starts.
I really hate it if someone asks me for a loan.
I'd much rather just give them the money, if it isn't too much.
If you can't get the money from a bank, it's because they know they likely won't get their money back. Family should follow the same rules. If/or when it doesn't get paid back, it's a fight for the rest of your life.
Discussed this in my relationship and we're on the same page: We cannot and will not pay everyone else's bills plus ours.
We already have so much stuff. I would prefer not to add more "stuff" to the pile. Last year I told everyone in my family that I didn't want any gifts because I'm blessed with having all my needs met. If they really wanted to gift me something, then they could gift me some time: a walk in the park, an afternoon in their company, maybe over tea or coffee, but not required, or something consumable like cookies or chocolate or a jar of jam. I don't need anything more. Since then, I've gotten things like a handwritten recipe for meatball soup from my aunt, some chocolates, candies, a jar of hot pepper sauce my mom's friend made from the peppers in her yard, and it's been great to not worry about figuring out where to put all the gifts, because they now go in my belly, the fridge, the pantry, or my recipe box.
Caller created an entitled monster.
She is the sister-in-law. Her husband is probably cool with it.
@@francefradet2116 She said her husband isn't cool with it anymore either.
@@Sheryl777 Some do not Listen and get the Males to do the Heavy Lifting
I don't understand how people have 5 kids and making minimum wage or barely making money. That's crazy.
How does the family that was being floated all these years NOT be embarrassed by this?? I mean, a single mom with kids might not be embarrassed, but the "man" in that relationship??? How could he even sleep at night knowing he is beneath all these people he is vacationing with?? L-O-S-E-R
I’m thinking this women’s view is jaded for some OTHER reason. No sane person would expect someone to pay for their FAMILYS vacation. I’ve been in the larger family shoes and have often felt guilted into going on vacations with siblings bc when we said no the other sibs insisted we come and paid for things like a car rental or donated airline miles. We should have stuck to our guns and said thank you but no thanks but more than once we said ok thank you and pinched other budget items to make it work but really we couldn’t afford it but did it anyway bc we felt guilted into it.
floating family consistently never works out.
Christmas is not about gifts ❤it time that people learn that it's about celebrating of God
It's a waste of time no matter how you look at it.
Christ mass is the mass for Christ
It’s a Catholic thing
Christmas is literally all about gifts, even back in made up land the three kings bought gifts to Jesus so your wrong
@@rory644 you’re not your
My family is not about big flashy gifts for what ever the occasion is it is more spending time together. I only buy for my nieces/nephews and parents with a budget stay in which is small and small so small basic stuff. As for some people I know it is like I need to buy for everyone and have lots of gifts then they buy over flow and goes to their birthday. Gifts can be a nice gesture but should never expect as once you get to a certain age you should be taking care of your own needs and saving up to afford them.😅
It’s sounds like the siblings like to take a large trip together with their families every few years. The homeschool family said sorry we can’t afford this trip. MOST of the other siblings said we will help you pay for it. The woman calling said we can’t afford to help for this trip. The OTHER SIBLINGS got upset not the homeschool family. The inability of people to assess what is happening and who is causing the problem is astounding.
Several comments bashing this "female" caller, typical.
It sounds like the husband does NOT want to foot the bill either. Maybe he is tired of having his siblings taking advantage of him. It doesn't sound to me like she is twisting his arm.
But some of you hear what you want based on your bias you bring to the table.
I am a guy and I would not foot the bill.
“I have a quick question.”
Ramsey callers - please stop saying this. None of you have ever been quick.
Dr Henry Cloud’s Boundaries book is a good book
It sucks
I loved it
My family recently went from drawing names to doing something "fun" together, like bowling or painting pottery or something memory building. No one misses the hassles of having to buy gifts, and the memories are priceless! (PS - large family, with many brothers, sisters, and cousins).
We did too and this past year the (teen) cousins couldn’t figure out a time to get together and everyone was so bummed to miss out on the activity, but I was secretly so impressed that it was so important to them and they looked forward to it so much.
I'd rather live out in the country and homeschool my five children than go on an overseas vacation any old day.
They want both though.
You aren't obligated to pay for anyone else. Couples need to agree on this decision.
Maaaybe there’s 2 sides to this story RIGHT?!! 🤔 🤔
I live like her sis-in-law. I don’t expect any sibling to pay my vacations maybe she THINKS they expect her to tho??! I wonder.
there have been times everyone in my husbands family wanted to go on a family vacation but my family would be left out if others hadn’t graciously covered things like a car rental or used airline miles.
On the flip side we have often felt guilted into spending what we shouldn’t have to be part of the family vacation bc others were helping so we could be there when frankly we didn’t mind missing it bc our values and spending habits are different.
I’m wondering if this caller is secretly jealous that she didn’t stay home with her kids instead of chasing the almighty dollar to go on bougie vacations and have paid for the in-laws vacay in the past bc they feel guiltily if they went without them.
So what live YOUR life. Stop worrying what others think.
My wife's sister is similar. She doesn't have money and wanted my wife and I to pay for her vacation to Mallorca. My wife and I have no plans to go to Mallorca. My wife simply said 'NO'. Set your own goals and plan. I am not funding you for Mallorca. My sister in law pouted. But my wife and I have not changed our stance.
They aren't entitled to a vacation. If they can't afford it, they don't go. Period.
The homeschooling sister could get a job evenings when hubby is home. By 2025, they would likely have the funds to pay for their own trip if it means that much to them. Many teachers of all kinds have "second" jobs.
Exactly. It's her side of the family anyway. She could get a side hustle or part-time job in the evening or at night, when the kids are sleeping and her husband is home to watch them. Or do some remote work during the daytime. Easy peasy.
We live on one income and homeschool our children, we go on vacations we can afford (including cruises), and wouldn’t accept never mind expect anyone to pay for us.
No way I'd continue to pay. It's one thing to do something nice for someone and I'm all for it, but when people start expecting it and see you as a cash cow, that's when it's time to say, no more!!
Choosing a one income and having 5 kids equals sacrifices. Vacations are not a need. Good luck to her husband with this conversation. Hope he stays strong!!!
Love their idea of drawing names for christmas presents, this whole must give a lot of gift for everyone in the family during the holiday is just getting out of hand, Jade is so right, adults shouldn't need presents from other adults. Both my husband and I tried to mention no christmas presents for adults in the family chat grp, everyone straight up ignored us. So we chose to not give adults any presents, we don't care, if they can't respect our wishes, then screw them. We weren't being ignored and boycotted by them so that turned out better than I thought
I dont know who said that " No" is a complete sentence but I wholeheartedly agree!!! The power of the word NO!!!
I would tell the other siblings to go ahead and pay if they want to help, but I’m not doing it. Nope.
That's smart. Maybe that will propel the serious talk of the low income part of the family saving up, doing extra jobs, to pay for their part of this very special, once-in-a-lifetime overseas vacation.
That is disgusting that her sister in law expects so much,close the door on that one 😮
@christineduffy348 The paying family set up the expectations to begin with and now they are having to turn off the financial spigot. Never an easy thing to do, but sometimes necessary though.
The real selfishness is not wanting to be financially responsible enough to get your money right so your family can be well taken care for. That's the real selfishness.
Why doesn’t the father plan ahead for vacation and work another job if this is what they want to do instead of accepting hand outs from others.
Or since it's actually the mom's side of the family who's taking this special, more expensive trip...maybe the MOM can get a side hustle or part-time job, maybe at night, after the kids are in bed and her husband is home from work and can watch the children.
Shouldn’t have funded the first one.
When they tell the family they aren’t paying the siblings will be relieved because they didn’t want to pay either, they just didn’t have the guts to say so.
And the “freeloaders” actually don’t want to go or they would have budgeted for it.
@@ck3703 Ummmm...I think they definitely d-o want to go but would rather someone else pays for it. The extended family just needs to put down their foot for this "special" expensive overseas trip. It is definitely do-able for the family of 7 (especially the "mom" of the 5 kids, who is the sister, representing the family of 7)...part-time job or side hustle by the mom in the evening or at night after the kids are in bed and her husband is home from work to babysit, and tell the kids that they need to get part-time jobs/side hustles themselves (jobs based on their ages & abilities) to contribute to the family going. It's a whole year away...definitely do-able if the family of 7 makes an effort.
There's no ripping apart of a family.
These people are lowlife.
The family is creating this drama for themselves.
The family doesn't go on vacation, no drama.
Jade said it best. No lost sleep.
I think her sister in law is very wise to be a stay at home mom and homeschool their kids.
BUT.
That means you have to give up the luxuries and live within your means.
They have their priorities straight, they just can't expect family to pick up the tab.
Them staying home while everyone else goes will sting. And that's the only way people change. They get tired of the pain and they get pissed off and say no more. Tell your broke sister "No."
It might even motivate them to stop at 5 kids and not produce another one, or two or three. Which they can barely afford.
Damn that’s 7 people!
How could they even accept such a large gift? The SAHM and husband need to have some dignity.
Given the persisting global economic crisis, it's essential for individuals to focus on diversifying their income streams independent of governmental reliance. This involves exploring options such as stocks, gold, silver, and digital currencies. Despite the adversity in the economy, now is an opportune moment to contemplate these investment avenues.
The pathway to substantial returns doesn't solely rely on stocks with significant movements. Instead, it revolves around effectively managing risk relative to reward. By appropriately sizing your positions and capitalizing on your advantage repeatedly, you can progressively work towards achieving your financial goals. This principle applies across various investment approaches, whether it be long-term investing or day trading.
I agree, that's the more reason I prefer my day to day investment decisions being guided by an advisor, seeing that their entire skillset is built around going long and short at the same time both employing risk for its asymmetrical upside and laying off risk as a hedge against the inevitable downward turns, coupled with the exclusive information/analysis they have, it's near impossible to not out-perform, been using my advisor for over 2years+ and I've netted over 2.8million.
I think this is something I should do, but I've been stalling for a long time now. I don't really know which firm to work with; I feel they are all the same but it seems you’ve got it all worked out with the firm you work with so i surely wouldn’t mind a recommendation.
I definitely share your sentiment about these firms. Finding financial advisors like Monica Lisa Payne who can assist you shape your portfolio would be a very creative option. There will be difficult times ahead, and prudent personal money management will be essential to navigating them.
Monica has the appearance of being a great authority in her profession. I looked her up online and found her website, which I reviewed and went through to learn more about her credentials, academic background, and employment. She has a fiduciary duty to protect my best interests. I sent her an email outlining my objectives and also booked a session with her; thanks for sharing.
I am basically in the same position of the sister in this call (one income, sahm, homeschool our 6 kids) and NEVER would I EVER expect my siblings to fund a vacation for my ENTIRE FAMILY!!!!! 🤑🤑🤑 True insanity.
I have been offered multiple times (I didn't ask for it and never expected it) to go on vacation with my brother's family ALL EXPENSES PAID FOR, and I decline simply because I don't want to impose on their finances. I repeat, they offered without my prompting. Imagine the gall of this sibling expecting the entire family to pitch in not only for herself but also her spouse and five kids!
If the "poor family" wants to go they can always do what is necessary to save up for it and not expect others to cover a luxury. If the dad took on a second job for a time he might be able to get it together before they have to put money down.
Or since it's the mom's extended family's idea, the mom can get a part-time job or side hustle in the evening or at night after the kids are in bed while dad is home babysitting. Why should, after a l-o-n-g day working his butt off, should the dad of the family now have to get a 2nd part-time job/side hustle to fund an expensive trip overseas that his wife's family wants to go on?