I’m now in my mid 50’s and I have always felt different. I never understood how I was different, just that I was different to others. I’m very sensitive and I remember as a child my older sister laughing at me and mocking me, particularly in front of my relatives. I remember how embarrassed and humiliated she made me feel. To this day if I see someone being mocked or teased I see the discomfort that person is feeling and I try to distract them in a nice way so that they don’t feel embarrassed or humiliated. My son has been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. I understand that both are hereditary and I believe I too have both. I have not had contact with my siblings for almost eight years because I finally realised that I don’t deserve to be poorly treated by those that I have known all my life simply because they are related to me.
Thank you, I also was bullied and made fun of by my sister in front of friends and family. I stepped away for over 10 years now but she has been trying to reconnect again. I don’t trust her.
This sounds just like me! I've had no contact with my siblings for over a decade now. They treated me terribly! It took me so long to realise. We deserve to be treated with respect and it serves us and our mental health to remove ourselves from painful relationships. I am also in my 50's and only last year did I find out it may be ASD and ADHD. It explains my whole life! Find the people that help you feel good and I will too. 🙏 x
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
This is so my life. I have always been the odd one out. Been accused of being annoying, needing structure, rocking side to side or swinging my foot, can't handle being in large groups of people very long without becoming agitated, over sharing, sensitive to materials and food textures, etc., and never knowing Why! Until my son was diagnosed with high functioning autism. When I was researching, trying to help my son, I came upon all of this information and I just, wow, this is me, too! I always tried to hide it because I was made fun of a lot by my 4 older sisters. I'm 68 years old now and can say, I'm me and I'm not putting that mask on for anyone any more. It's been a ride! 😊
Congrats!! At 62, I have finally found out why I was not like them my whole life! I wish you the best-now you and I can start living our own true lives.😊
Being significantly disregulated by the hyper materialistic,insular, isolated society we've built seems like a healthy human response . We need extensive family groups and connection to nature. Instead we've encased ourselves in concrete with a bunch of chemicals. Fewer and fewer are thriving in this.
Yes, and the more society becomes materialistic and narcissistic, the more it creates suffering, and the more people try to compensate acting selfishly, like chain reaction in a nuclear bomb .
My ex-husband, who was high ranking USAF, worked WITH (not for) John Bolton (don’t ask my opinion about him) at the Department of State, and worked at Area 51, was diagnosed in 2009, with Asperger’s. Of course they no longer give that diagnosis and it’s just Levels 1-3. Here’s the kicker, I’m 60 and NEVER in a million years, as someone who is highly educated and highly experienced in working with (for decades) and observing CHILDREN with ASD, would have even considered I could be on The Spectrum. But after looking at the distinct differences in females and then sitting down to make a list of my own traits and behaviors, I now have a 9 page, single space, 12 pt Times New Roman don’t document that exhibits all the ways I fit the diagnosis. My evaluation is coming up in early August!
Thank you for being available on TH-cam Kim , I'm attempting another doctor tomorrow I will keep you all posted.... I'm 50 and all my life felt like I'm not from here (my soul took a wrong turn & landed on earth) my daughters are autistic Asperger's & ADHD xx
I NEVER felt like I belonged here either !!! I felt soooooo different like a foreigner & couldn't understand why! I'm 46 & just starting to appreciate how really different & sensitive I am . Much love
I just wanted to let you know my doctor heard me & asked me to fill in a questionnaire, I am not sure what he is going to do now (I have never been good at appointments I can't remember what he said either) it's a start I think 💚 love to everyone
I am an introvert. I was a very quietly spoken child and teenager. I rarely talked to anyone because I lacked social skills and the ability to express myself openly. I was a passive naive young person. I preferred to be alone and do what I wanted in my spare time. I am not a misanthropic person because I have dealt with my inner demons and come to terms with who I am. The fact that I grew up in a toxic family who physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me made me hate everyone until I became an adult. I never knew what an introvert was until I read Dr Carl Jung's books about different personalities and archetypes. I also read Emotional Intelligence and other self-help books which improve myself. I dislike being classified into various labels, negative stereotyping and being pigeonholed into a category by certain therapists.
I’ve detached from “normal life” and chose to be a stay at home mom because it was the most I could do in the world without living in shutdown/meltdown. It’s the only way I could function with any Grace. Still many days I get overwhelmed, which lead me to try to understand why. As I have started homeschooling, I’ve also noticed things in my children that I did - and because they are being homeschooled, they aren’t treated as bad or wrong or disordered for doing them. Just recognized and accommodated and then we work thru the things that are disruptive so they can have a better experience and give a better experience to others (which is something highly sensitives want, even tho ASD sensitives may not inherently know how to achieve.) This lead me to research autism, which lead me to Embrace Autism. Been down the rabbit hole for a bit today. My results: MQ 4.7 (221/235) - more monotropic than 95% of autistic people and 100% of allistic people. RAADS-R: 193 (highest autistic score is 227 and anything over 160 is highly indicative of autism) Aspie Quiz: 160 of 200 (100% probability of being atypical) AQ score: 45 of 50 (“a score of 32 or higher tends to identify respondents with clinically significant levels of autism-related traits.”) This makes my entire life make so much sense. It actually kind of feels liberating - even though I know no one is going to believe it and everyone is going to think it’s a cop out. So I will just keep this information for me. Allow it to help me develop kinder tools to assist myself and my children, and be a better mother and wife.
No. I actually believe you and your research does help me a lot. I'll start my own journey of tests and researches. My congrats to you for accepting yourself as you are- whatever that may be (and it may actually be an invaluable asset, as it is. This I do not know yet, but maybe it is better than being "just normal". All the best🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
Up until you posted your test results, I was thinking is this me? You see, I have yet to take the tests. It's so great seeing people getting validated after all these years. It feels great to be validated, too. ❤
theres heaps of free authentic online tests I recently met a psychiatrist who specialises in this field and he put me onto them after doing a few you’ll have a very clear idea of where you sit on the spectrum
I'm 68. I've never understood how people work. I had a friend that I trusted teach me how to do the "hug greeting" when I was 65. Before that, I had always either avoided it or did this awkward bobbing dance, leaning the wrong way and then looking like those weird bird mating dances. I got pretty good at just shoving out my hand in front of myself for a handshake. Awkward, but less awkward than that dance. I have zero understanding of the majority of social cues and small talk makes me want to claw out my own eyes. I took some of those on-line tests and they were like if you score 27 you might be autistic.... as I stare at a score of 134. Does getting an actual diagnosis at this age really help?? I hope you answer even if the answer is no. Thank you.
@@Cy-bz9jh Nice work on getting the hug greeting down! I'm often doing the bird mating dance or just feeling awkward & anxious, "Too short? Long? Am I sweaty? Were they even expecting or wanting a hug?" I've been asking how or if diagnoses have helped people for a while now & feel quite conflicted as to whether it's something to pursue personally. Most people have said it helped them understand themselves. I think I need strategies & skills to function better, rather than a reason why I don't. But maybe that comes with understanding onesself? This is the first video I've seen where the topic of diagnosis was discussed as a possible negative & I'm interested to hear more of her thoughts on it. I hope you find the path that's right for you X
My psychiatrist was not very nice when I brought this up. I brought up ADHD first and he responded with "everybody has ADHD now and you can't even get the meds because everybody is taking it". He made me feel so uncomfortable that I didn't even bring up the autism. I had a full sheet of paper to go over with him, but he made me feel so dumb that I didn't bother. He sent me out for ADHD testing and once I'm through with that, I'm switching doctors.
I’m SOO glad to hear you’re switching immediately. Regardless of the diagnosis no healthcare provider should EVER have you feeling this way. It is just plain wrong. I applaud your self advocacy!! Sending you much strength and positivity on your journey of self discovery 💞✨
@@commonsense571 No one MAKES anyone else feel ANYTHING. You, and you alone, are in charge of your emotions. How do you know this person isn't reading something into the situation that simply wasn't there?
@@lisahinton9682 when you are visiting a psychiatrist, there is an expectation of professionalism and a duty of care. And when said ‘professional’ has limited experience and knowledge of autism in females, of COURSE it can make you feel something. We are conditioned to believe this person has way more knowledge so it causes us to question our own experiences. I too had a psychiatrist who caused me (in the moment) to feel this way. Human beings are deeply affected by our interactions with others, it is the way we have evolved to live in a society,
I'm highly sensitive and AuDHD and this video is very good! I labeled myself as highly sensitive for a while before I started listening to content creators and psychologists and it was mind blowing to me. It felt like everything I experience and struggle with was validated and it has become a passion to understand more. It's very fascinating and now I understand why I've always felt like I'm a very complex person! Thank you so much for talking about it!
I'm an Aspie. Thank you so much for this video. You've explained so many symptoms (which) I can't explain. I'm 46, got my diagnosis when I was 41 and I'm continuing on my personal adventure to understand myself better so I can learn to adapt to function in a world that is not made for a person like myself. I'm going to add you to my list of experts who I follow and learn from. Live long and prosper! (L)
OMG, you mentioned the satin on the blanket! I'm 45 and still sleep with my baby blanket because of the feeling of the satin trim on it. It's so shredded and worn, but man, I have never found a satisfying replacement. Also, squeezing BIC lighters in my hand. I haven't smoked in 11 years, but that feeling of a BIC lighter in my hand helps me enter a highly creative trance state. I don't know anyone else like me in this way. I just took the Autism Spectrum Quotient test you recommended and scored a 38. I am new to following you, and now I think you are so cool for making this video. Thanks
@@Tricia-xo6fq I'm curious which came first? Did you get the blanket after the diagnosis? I've seen highly autistic kids with spoons in their hands. I assume the BIC lighter serves the same purpose for me. Lighters are more condensed, and the BIC brand has nice contours for comfortable clenching. I know it's so weird, but clenching the lighters triggers my brain to create visuals for manifesting. Squeezing the satin on the blanket at night is just comforting for sleep. It's the cooling sensation in my hand that I crave. Again, I know it's so weird, but I learned to do this before I could even speak, and I stuck with it.
I am a 58 year old woman, and have read and watched so many things surrounding this topic since a health crisis a few years ago blew everything wide open and provided me with greater awareness of myself, and clarity about my whole life. I want to thank you for your work, and for this video, which finally absolutely confirms to me my suspicions of autism. Ticking every box here. It makes my whole life make sense, and will hopefully make the rest of it a little easier, with greater self compassion. This was a genuine gift to me . Thank you, with all my heart, Dr. Kim.
I was just dx’d ND, but have always been a HSP, but have, as you said, am high functioning & also have several comorbidities/mental illnesses (ADHD/CPTSD/3 anxiety dx’s, BPD, BP1, MDD), and when I learned, in 222, that I was ASD, so much of my life made sense! I’m in Trauma Therapy & have a great PsyMD (neuropsychiatrist) & support from friends & family. I also suffered a TBI in October of 2021, which led to my AuDHD/ASD dx. Thank you for your videos & insight, bc it makes us feel seen & heard. Much love & light from N.C., Ms. Kim!❤
43 years old.. and i hit the mark on almost all of these .. it’s been a long journey 😪 i didn’t talk till is was 5, not that i didn’t know how, i didn’t want to, everything was to intense .. im really good at seeing patterns in life, not good at maintaining friendships 🥺 that one hurt saying.. can’t wear on sleep on certain fabric ( i like 100 percent natural fabrics) in need a lot of alone time to make sense of things .. i fell into a drug addiction.. because everything was to intense ( im now almost 6 years sober 🙏🏻) i get over stimulated around to many people and stim ? i could go on.. but im sure others here know. btw im James 👋🏼 i wanna also remind you all out there how beautiful we are 🥹 we are creative, fun, caring, interesting.. we see life differently.. we see life in a vary special way.. and you are so special ❤ i also wanna say sorry if you have been hurt by others because they don’t understand. .. i truly believe we are like this for a purpose 🙏🏻 ❤️🩹
I've always felt this way. I could talk, but I chose not to because everything was so intense. I didn't want to break this silence. How can you talk when soooo much is going on? I feel like I came to this earth to observe, not to participate. My life has been so difficult, almost a constant suffering. When there are people around, it's hard. I always try to go as far away as possible, as alone as possible. I always tried to find places to hide to eat (sometimes I even went to hide in the toilet ;) ) like a small animal that needs to protect itself while eating. Just being there takes a lot out of me. Eating at the same time... a major challenge. When I'm in nature, alone with the majesty of the trees, I feel infinitely good (and even more so if there are animals - I feel good with animals(I like talking to crows when I see them :D - I say to them if they squawks: ''don't be afraid, I am Marianne, I am a good girl''. Ha ha! I just make sure I'm alone in the vicinity ;) ;) ), they and I speak the same language ;) ).
Yes! That is what I have realized as an adult. In my case, I am frustrated with others for not seeing or doing things that are “obvious”, or when they appear absent-minded. However, in actuality, high intelligence is a gift that allows me to process tasks differently and effectively . What seems easy to me could be very difficult for someone else. I’m not talking about academically. I’m referring to life skills and day-to-say decision-making. I’m finally realizing it may not be the other person‘s fault, and I am actually the one who is different because of high intelligence.
High intelligence also gives you the ability to manipulate others if you misuse your gift. I don’t do that, but I can see situations where I easily could do it and get away with it. When I was a little kid, I manipulated situations a few times to avoid getting into trouble, but I didn’t understand why at the time. As I matured, I realized that the manipulation is sometimes the same thing as telling a lie and lacking integrity.
Thank you, Dr Kim.😊 Early this year, I was dx as autistic and adhd at 62 yrs old. I love the Embrace Autism website, and I follow a content creater's channel who's also autistic and adhd called Mom on the Spectrum. I'm glad that I found you! 😊
Very informative. I have a friend who is HSP and I will send her this video. She sent me a book about it and I related to everything in it but I am more severe. I did an Autism test and I off the scale in certain areas but don't fit the stereotype in others it made me realise that a lot of things I did and do to get me through the day are coping mechanisms and masking. I am also 90% mute. No coping mechanism can cope with shutdowns and long periods of recovery. Replaying everything in my head until I could process and move on. A living nightmare at times.
I have been going down the rabbit hole, trying to see what this whole "autism" thing is all about. Today, during this video, i burst out in tears when i realized that i am, in fact, autistic. It's no longer a question in my mind. What put me over the edge was the part about self soothing. Keep up the great work, Dr. Sage
Well.done I hope you are OK I'm.not sure about me but my son has aspetgets I'm.definatly on ADhd I have most if what she dr Sage is saying too empathy as well.tjank God
I read Elaine's books several years ago, and scored extremely high on HSP. I notice subtleties in body language, tone, what's said and unsaid. I also have fibromyalgia and CFS caused by a car wreck. I just want to express that these illnesses are possible with being a HSP and not just autistic. A lot of the medical community don't even recognize HSP. So, studies are sorely lacking.
And it all can overlap or hide other traits. I am very sure I would be diagnosed as Autist, but when I think back when I worked in science, all was different. People understood my jokes, and supposedly weird thoughts were considered interesting, and smart, not weird. So how much of my so called social awkwardness is people just not grasping what I am saying, so I tend to be quiet even more, and how much is really autism.
Eye opening. It's finally okay to be myself. I'm not crazy nor am I the only one who is bothered by everyone and everything. With your videos, and bravery to share your voice, it helps people like me well into adulthood with grown children better understand myself.. ❤
My parents thought when my pediatrician said I had minimal brain dysfunction in 1963 they thought he was telling them I was mildly retarded. (Words used back then) So that was how I was treated. Like there was no hope for me and no one wanted to waste their time with me. I also had seizures. I had many behaviors and sensory issues that is normally associated only with Autism but I was higher functioning and had language. I had really bad sensory issues. I had my downs. Everything you said about autism applies to me. But didn’t find out till my mid life. Cognitively my IQ rest they gave me in grade school showed I was in the superior intelligence level but my mom said I could not use my intelligence when I asked about it a year later. I was one confused and lonely child. Although I absolutely prefer being alone more times than not I still craved humanity interactions. Because of the seizures and the TBI I had at birth people didn’t let their kids play with me because they thought I was as mentally ill and retarded. People were so ignorant to seizures back then. I was born in 1960 and people didn’t understand a lot of things that they do now in the 21st-century. I’ve never been able to keep friends. I’ve had two close friends my whole entire life. I do everything alone with no problem. But I have phobias up the ying Yang. Oh I have written too much but I get so stimulated when another piece of the puzzle falls into place for me. Thank you for taking the time to make that video.
Also, I wanted to add because I did not notice. I have the zebra disease and so did my dad. We were both quite stretchy and bendy ours was the common connective tissue type, but I was blessed not to have it too bad. Ehlers Danios survive things that they mean pop up and listen.
Thank you for sharing your story! I was born in 82 I can relay in a lot of ways that a lot of the way that people treated me was that I was just a little bit dumber than everybody else. Almost as if I had a plague I too had an IQ test At 3 years old and tested very high However I have a twin sister I did not know until recently, After two of my younger children were diagnosed ASD About female masking. I've always known I was sensitive and my mother always told me how sensitive I was I took it as it was a weakness, a flaw. Education is power. 💪
I was labeled as retarded by my 3rd grade teacher. This was in the 1970s. I think my mom knew there was something different about me, it turned out I have a very high IQ, but I was so clumsy, I couldn't tell time, and my processing speed for learning my multiplication tables was the worst in my class. I was 2 yrs behind in reading. By the time I was in 6th grade I was reading at a collegiate level. Autistic brains are weird like that. We have what is called a "spikey profile". My cousin was diagnosed with autism in the early 70s. My brother had what they termed "hyperactive kinetic disorder" in the 1960s, that diagnosis is called ADHD today. I am sorry you went through being labeled as retarded. As someone who was labeled that I understand how it follows you around for the rest of your life. I went back to college around 30 yrs old and became a scholar with perfect grades partially to prove to myself I wasn't mentally retarded. It was like I was running away from it.
I'm confused but i see the world with pure heart, caring & loving the nature , animals and peoples ✨ Also have deep understanding.. I love to give happiness into others ❤️🌠
Needing recovery time and social struggles caught my attention. Eventually being alone became the sought after goal … It seems completely natural to keep people at a distance, and to have lost any desire for a partner. It is enormously stressful to interact with others for very long, yet I don’t really feel like I chose a solitary lifestyle, more like I do well with what others don’t tolerate well , conditions Funny , I once looked into being a Light House Keep, until I remembered they also have to use a fog horn.
lol, I did the same thing! I thought a lighthouse keeper would be a great job. However, no Wifi which might be a deal breaker. And most of those jobs want men and/or couples to do the maintenance stuff. As a not-very-handy woman, that probably wouldn't have worked. I also thought a convent would be great. However, not Catholic :)
This is the most helpful video on autism I've watched so far, and I've watched a great deal. I had no idea about the whole stimming-thing in regards to watching the same thing over and over and over again.😔
I've benefited from taking notes while listening, giving myself time to write by pausing the video. Many videos also have a transcript which helps for following along.
Yes. Sudden change is really hard for me because of the need and comfort gained from routine, repetition and need to focus/fixate on something I’m passionate about. Currently in that place and it’s been really hard.
Very helpful, thank you, as always. For me the route was finding HSP in 2011 but it didn’t explain everything. Then while searching for hyperempathy vs HSP I found similar women on the wrongplanet website, then found Intense World Theory, then read everything I could find. Autism is clear in me, my eggshell father (w/daily meltdowns), and other family. I am so glad to see the rise in awareness in other high-masking women. I hope your status as a psychologist helps other psychologists not be so ignorant about autism in AFABs. I’m 59, and so wish I had known about autistic me and my autistic father decades ago. Lots of grief. Having read Neurotribes and everything else I could find on autism and its history, I’m so disgusted by how badly both psychiatry and psychology have screwed this up. My psychiatrist (for TRD that’s hard to parse from autistic burnout& is likely both plus PTSD) said in 2012 that I “wasn’t odd enough”🙄 . I don’t talk about it much w/him or therapist, they just don’t want to know, want it to all be trauma. I’ve always told people close to me that I deserve an Oscar, so the recent “discovery” of masking has been so helpful in understanding myself. I also have hEDS and a bunch of the other comorbidities that also were late-diagnosed. Medicine has also really failed us. Thank you for your work and for sharing it with us. I look forward to your videos!
Well I just went to Embrace Autism and took several of the tests on their website, and it looks like - according to their tests - that I am not autistic. So I must be highly sensitive, because I relate to EVERYTHING you said about HSP.
I am a newly diagnosed with ASD. The neuropsychologist that diagnosed me told me that to understand my place on the spectrum that I am highly masking, highly functional, barely detectable on the autism spectrum with many tests. I am highly imaginative, I am highly empathetic and sensitive to others. But socializing is exhausting for me. I point this out because the way they screen for autism in women has been transformed very recently. The thing to understand about autism is that autistic brains process information differently. Sometimes that looks very different from the outside, other times not to much. If you have ADHD and autism, which the majority of autistic people do have co-occuring ADHD on top of their autism, you are probably not going to screen as autistic on online tests because ADHD masks the autism and the autism masks the ADHD. I think it is much more helpful to think back on your childhood and your experiences. Did you feel excluded socially? Were you bullied? Were you a picky eater? Did you engage in repetitive behaviors? Lots of my repetitive behaviors were inside my head. I would count things when I couldn't physically stim. I think that we can mask so thoroughly and completely that we've convinced ourselves we are "normal" when we are not. I still think "I can't be autistic because I have a sense of humor, I am not literal, I can engage in small talk easily", but the neuropsychologist told me she could spot my autism right away. She said that autistic women have a certain type of way we relax our faces. We seem more serious than the average person, It is hard to mask our resting face for hours.
Rather a lot of labelling going on in this world. Great video,in the end we have to find skills to cope with the world no matter our diagnosis. Sadly getting a good diagnosis mostly sucks
Thank you for all your videos on autism. I am 53 & was just diagnosed with autism & adhd. I thought it was trauma & it caused me to be an HSP! Someone in my family who works with autistic children still doesn't believe my diagnosis. They said it's just CPTSD.
@ladyhagaming it hurt, but she doesn't make light of CPTSD. She has it too, and I also know she loves me. She only knows what she was taught. I'm hoping she'll be willing to watch videos like this. If not, it's her choice
These videos are so helpful when it comes to gaining perspective and knowledge. I'm currently 'investigating' myself, have quite certainly ruled out a few things and found others that where a much better fit. Not ready to go seeking an actual diagnosis yet, but amongst other things my work situation tells me that maybe I should. It'll probably take years to get an assessment.
Thank you Dr. Kim for continuing your research into Autism and HSP and bringing that information to us. I can see that just in my own life this info has helped in not only understanding myself much better but also in understanding some of my friends and other people around me. Also, the information that you have been providing has become more refined since you first started. Thank you so much and please don't stop! ❤
i've been following your videos since around pandemic days, so learning and understanding about autism alongside you for the past year and a half, it has been very reassuring and comforting. i had some suspicious, as i've always struggled deeply in many regards, but lacked the self confidence in advocating for myself, and feared others would think "you can't possibly be autistic" because of the way i mask. Seeing people who are like me being open to conversation and sharing their experiences, it feels reassuring. This video is very informative, and i think will help my family ease into the conversation of a possible autism diagnosis for myself. Thank you, Dr. Sage! 💙
I’ve always felt off and different from people in society. I’ve been misdiagnosed in the past. At first I got told I just had general learning disabilities. Then as an adult I got diagnosed with adhd. But I truly think I’m mildly autistic. The over sensitivity to everything hits home. The social difficulty resonates a lot with me as well. Told I’m annoying, I over share, I’m weird. My entire life lol. I’m married now, and have learned how to function most days, but the over stimulation and needing an off day, is so true for me.
As a highly sensitive empath, I have struggled with anxiety and depression for 40 years. I realized however that I was not able to express myself to the degree I was feeling, and so the core issue was a spiritual deficiency, not a prozac or lithium deficiency. Having a vision in my life allowed me to work toward a long term goal and expressing myself writing songs and singing. However, I have fully recovered from all depression and anxiety as I no longer feel this darkness any more. This is a recent breakthrough this week. A couple weeks ago I still was struggling. It is fully gone now this feeling. I feel like my life is just beginning. It was a gradual experience though bc I have done holotropic breathwork, energy work, reiki, cranio sacral therapy, lymphatic bodywork, neuromuscular therapy, gestalt, hypnosis, meditation, yoga, soul retrieval, endless tears, and prayer gradually allowed me to fully transform the darkness into light while embracing both
I don't really like the term 'empath' - it's like some elitist new age garble. Empaths are just highly emotional people, usually having dealt with trauma as a child. It's not a title.
@@vingedheart Empaths that go through trauma and develop specialized hyper awareness and extra sensory perception have fine-tuned their emotions to an advanced degree.
@@EnergyCenterTV I agree that that's why we are more empathic - but a lot of people who call themselves 'empath' aren't even aware of that. They see it as some 'special' title like 'Indigo children' that I am not a fan of either.
Yes me too because she has a gift of explaining that helps us see these complex ways we may be different and accept them and even finally to be able to thrive in life with joy! Thank you Dr. 😅👏👏💐🙋♀️🌞
That’s the best video on autism I’ve ever seen. Thanks so much dr Sage. I’ve checked many boxes and the test showed that I have some autistic traits. I’ve always known that there must be a disorder that impedes me from getting jokes and social cues, also reading face expressions. I felt slow in that moments even though I didn’t doubt my intelligence. Now I know.
My granddaughter is definitely a highly sensitive person. She is still dealing with the trauma caused by her alcoholic, unstable mother, and she also deals with OCD. She’s 16 now and could probably tick off most of the boxes for autism, but she had no noticeable indicators as an infant and young child. I have quite a few indicators myself, and I recently read an article about the possibility of something like sub clinical autism, where the indicators are present, but not to the degree where a clinical diagnosis of autism could be given. I’m not fond of crowded, noisy places, but have discovered if I stay on the fringes, those situations are more tolerable. I don’t like small talk because I don’t like talking to people in general, unless it’s someone I know. I like to stick to certain routines, and feel a little unsettled if things are out of order, but at 73 years of age, 53 years of marriage, 4 kids and 3 grandkids, I’ve learned to adapt, even if it’s uncomfortable and irritable. Anyway, who knows… but great video and great info.
@@ladyhagamingyes, autism and OCD can go hand in hand, but my granddaughter’s traits didn’t begin in early childhood, only after she began experiencing the trauma caused by her mother, starting when she was about 10. Thanks for the input.
@@katherinehealy6534 my ocd seemed to be triggered when stress and trauma when I was a tween. I was an undiagnosed with autism as a child and no one thought I had autistic traits as a child, but now looking back, my adults at the time realized they were there the whole time and I learned to mask real quickly so many of the traits can be hidded. so I wouldn't rule out the possibility of having the diagnosis of both
Have you looked into CPTSD (Complex PTSD)? Dr. Kim has a fairly recent video comparing it with autism. You might also find Heidi Priebe's channel helpful for info on CPTSD.
What makes you think that your granddaughter is a highly sensitive person? It can appear the same as trauma symptoms. SPS has a positive side too though.
Love your content and stretch to think about the over-laps. You’ve mentioned your marriage quite a few times, and I’m sure your focus is directed towards your children’s lives and career development. I hope at some point you could explain how your understandings of relationships dynamics from childhood… marriage…. Has influenced your choices and decisions in new relationships since your divorce and have they been successful because of your evolving interpersonal awareness’s. How are you challenging your own dynamics? Just food for another video to share what your relationship journey has been like in this last 17 years. It’s always helpful for me to see through the lens of real life experiences. Thank you Kim
I also think it would be useful to distinguish between autism, HSP and social anxiety/social awkwardness, as I think there's a fair bit of overlap between these. Also, I think empathy is in many ways a socially conditioned trait, I feel like I needed to learn how to appropriately express empathy as a kid. Many kids aren't necessarily empathetic, e.g. they'll torment bugs out of curiosity or for the fun of it. I've always been sensitive and socially anxious. Been considering if autism might be a part of it for quite a while, but I'm still very conflicted on whether it applies to me or not - mainly because I don't have extreme sensory sensitivities and feel like my special interests aren't intense/obsessive enough.
Great video. I do need to research this more. I am hyper sensitive. I have fybromyalgia. I am also known as very safe person. I also don’t make eye contact with people. I said to a friend that I LOVE people and spending time with them but I don’t have the songs, you might call them, of what to say to people. I find spending time with them absolutely exhausting. My friend comes from an extremely safe home. I blamed my upbringing because my parents prided themselves on the great put downs they would come up with. Maybe this is a more accurate reason. I do know that I need to sit on the end whether it is a dinner with best friends a movie or a conference. I need to research this more. I do know that even making phone calls to set up important medical appointments really bothers me even though it is no big deal. Thanks for the test idea. I will definitely be researching this more.
Thanks for the food for thought. I've always claimed neurodivergence for several reasons but you're the first person who has made me truly consider if I am autistic. I have an autistic son and he struggles so much with social stuff and doesn't read social cues well. I have always said I would be autistic if not for that I DO read people especially well and am highly aware of social stuff and unspoken social cues such as subtle body language that most don't pick up on. I have extreme sensory issues as well as the other traits including hypermobility disorder. Now I'm thinking I am more like you and I have learned to excel at reading these social cues because I am an expert scanner, which I think is my nature but then I also had to become and expert because of my traumatic childhood. I have been in a similar field or work to you, as well. I chuckled about the eating others' food at gatherings, too, since potlucks are my nightmare!
@@jbiddle9235 well I don't no if mines migraine in the body or fybromyalgia it's neck shoulders no headache daily now haven't had head migraine in 7 years though same pain nausea
Dr. Kim, you are so nice and I can certainly relate to HSP and I believe I have some autistic qualities going on, I'm 67, I have learned to train myself to behave in public like a normal person in some social situations,I even fool myself at times, convincing myself I'm normal.
Thank you. :) This video helped clarify autism in adults. I am seeing more and more the behaviors that are comfortable for me and how they are impacting my relationship. I now can accept my self diagnosis of autism and have more grace for me and with my spouse.
I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and PTSD/CPTSD. I'm still really struggling to ascertain if all of the social unease is due to these or whether I may also be autistic. I have to consciously make myself hold eye contact, i'm constantly processing in my mind what is an appropriate way to respond to someone i'm having a conversation with. I overshare a lot and am very sensitive to anything that I perceive as social rejection, but I also prefer time alone and don't like events where i'd be socially expected to interact with a lot of other people. At 37 years old i'm not sure what i'd gain from a diagnosis apart from a greater understanding/acceptance of myself as I don't believe any real support is offered for autistic people if they are deemed capable of work.
This just helped me connect some dots in audhd. My audhd led to bod thanks to so much relational trauma and it is the most tangled puzzle my brain has ever had to unravel… THANK YOU! 🙏🏼 ❤
Thank you for making this information available 🙏🏼 I’m 58 & was diagnosed 3 years ago, after a lifetime of confusion. I had a nervous system injury that has really impaired my ability to ‘mask’ like I use to. I really hope to somehow have access to professional help. This is proving very difficult in Australia atm. Which is one of the reasons I am so grateful to have found you and your YT. Many many Thanks 🫶💐
I rarely get sick and have little allergies but I have a lot of the autism traits and ADHD. I'm very empathetic, I stem, I need structure and routine but have yet to figure it out, I am very direct, I can't read between the lines and despise people who speak in riddles or circles. I need deep connections, have no friends, a history of broken friendships, relationships and familyships. I've walked alone in life since 27. I need direct communication. Wjen working, I need a specific list of direction before I ca begin.
Thank you for this most elucidative and educational video on such an important matter for so many of us😊❤❤. I've given the due thumbs-up and shared the vid!😊❤
I'd just like to say that you have such a nice, calming voice. I just went to the Autism site and the bright colors and too many choices completely overwhelmed me, and I had to click out of it. I'll try again at some point. The characters also move; it's like, "Look at me!" All I felt was panic.
I FINALLY got my official autism diagnosm after a second opinion with health care professionals. Had to "fight" for it SO hard, took me 1.5 year in total. And now, after fightening all the way, i feel nothing about it anymore.😢 i hope the feeling will return & i can get more peace with it
Have you looked at the research on very high IQ people? They tend to have those highly sensitive tendencies, among other things mentioned here. But not the autistic tendencies. They have many interests and go wide and deep with those interests. They don't have the need for routine and repetition and actually crave novelty. They prefer dealing with abstract concepts rather than the concrete. They have interpersonal difficulties for different reasons ... They take in stimuli and learn and think at a much higher speed and remember a lot more than normal IQ individuals, making communication and interaction more difficult. They do often mask to 'fit in, particularly women. They do need more time alone to recover from these interpersonal difficulties as well as to persue their interests. Because there are so few of them, they were rarely mirrored by anyone when growing up and find it hard to locate others like themselves. But I think the neural divergence causes some of the issues you mention here.
Wow, just took the AQ test on the website you mentioned. I've always scored high as an HSP, but I also scored 33 on the AQ test, too. This does make me wonder! I think there are things that make me stand out and feel different from my other HSP friends. Maybe this could be it? Social awkwardness hit the nail on the head for me.
It’s feel weird that I completely relate to all of this but it feels like such a trend right now. It sucks when you can relate and have struggled your whole life but now it’s such a trend and everyone thinks they have ADHD, Autism or both. Makes me want to hide more.
I was taught that small talk is like putting out little “feelers”. It’s hard to want to jump right into deeper topics with someone, for a lot of people, you need to get a feel for them first. So, people keep topics light and surface level. They’re subconsciously sizing up to see if you’re someone they can mesh with. 😮 That was my face when my Mom explained it to me. I think it’s just been naive of me to think someone being polite actual meant they were nice/caring, which would translate to me info dumping tons of stuff on them. I could see how I would have been a very overwhelming individual that way. Cause those poor people were still trying to feel me out. But here I am with the fast pass to friendship trying to skip the line that I should be waiting in. Small talk felt like it just always got in the way of really knowing someone. I wanted to get to the person behind the front we put on to world. Didn’t consider in those moments that these others want the same thing, but it takes way more time to forge something genuine. This is sometimes took as disinterest and my RSD would make me completely shut down the progress. I’d then ghost. 😅 I wonder how different things would have been if I just understood these small conversations were “feelers”.
I still just think that smalltalk is so stupid. Why should agreeing that the weather is unreliable at the moment prove to another person that I am trustworthy to talk about more serious stuff. I know that is how NTs work. But all I learn from smalltalk is often that the other person is silly, insincere and a liar. I value people who show honest feelings and can analyse and disect situations in a logical manner. For me, smalltalk is almost always a lose-lose. NTs find out I am strange and I find out that they are stupid.
@@RoxyTrevellas That’s not true tho. You should talk to somebody about that, in all honesty and to put it bluntly. Such pessimism about others and thinking every NT is operating on just stupidity is wrong. You’re wrong to expect people to show honest feelings and be open to someone they barely know. Being open is a form of vulnerability that isn’t just given out. That’s why they say autistic people are likely to and tend to over share. Which actually makes many uncomfortable. What you’re saying isn’t logical at all? It’s actually screaming you need therapy to address why you think this way of others. This probably harms a lot of your interpersonal relationships and their potential. You also aren’t dissecting any situation with outlooks like this. You have preconceived judgements because of poor experiences you haven’t worked through. I suggest you do.
I’m in the UK and have lived with Autism all of my life and was just one of the many that was diagnosed later on in life. You are absolutely spot on with everything, and I mean everything you have said in this video. I have what they call high functioning ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and probably due to that fact, I have never been unemployed ever and I’m now over 60. It has all come at a detrimental price to my own heath and wellbeing though over the years, having to mask my condition every single day to a point that I’m literally exhausted from living in the ‘Neurotypical World’ that I have found myself to be living in. Which incidentally is a very ignorant place for any Autistic person to live, especially here in the UK where disability discrimination here is rife. The biggest challenge I have found is making yourself be understood correctly, without unintentionally insulting someone. You see, in my world, everything is black or white, wrong or right, good or bad with no grey area’s at all. Anyway, well done and thank you for sharing your video. Brilliant! 👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I am an empath which means I'm highly sensitive. However it is very clear that I'm not autistic. Having said that it is extremely interesting to me how much overlap I do have with autistic traits. What I think that most people don't get is that autism is just what we call a part of the spectrum of how the human brain works. It isn't actually separate. It seems to be separate because we have historically in this society only catered to what we were falsely taught to be what all humans were supposed to be like. The reality is that each of us are the very definition of what it means to be human for us. We are getting better at recognizing that we each have different needs and we are slowly changing the way we are setting up society to accommodate all of us... but we have a long way to go. Having said all this I may actually be labeled as autistic in the future simply because I do have too much empathy and have many similarities to my autistic counterparts. But I don't actually display the sensory problems more than most neuro-typical individuals. Peace.
Thank you for putting this information out there. I have been in therapy from 14 years old to 28 years old. I'm now 34 years old and %100 sure I'am high masking autistic. I was diagnosed with social anxiety, mild depression, body dysmorphia, and PTSD. I was never evaluated for autism. I would like to be evaluated by a professional, but have found it more difficult finding someone for an adult diagnosis. I was introduced to a book about HSP about a decade ago, and I do feel that I do have that trait but to an extent. Pointing out the differences definitely had me leaning way more to HMA. I was in the gifted program in school, and recently have heard that it was for children with autism. I have never thought it was a trend, just different degrees, and I always felt as the population grew, so would seeing more people with autism.
A teacher asked me if I was a loner, others said I needed to come out of my shell, and one teacher said my friends weren’t as intelligent as me. I got no help, this was the 1980s.
I asked my Dr psychiatrist where I could take a test on the autostic spectrum. He looked at me and said I am not autistic as autistic people need to be constantly assisted. He is a good Dr though but I never brought up the issue. I feel like I need desperdly to find the way to get tested. I took three online tests the last with almost 200 questions and in all three I got the result saying I am highly possible in the spectrum. But I can’t manage to find a place to register for being tested. I live in a small town in the Alps and there is no much services for anything. I will keep looking for a place to be tested. This video has been great and very accurate at least in my case. I can relate 100% with the description of autistic people in the video. Thank you so much ❤
You should, if possible, seek out a different psychiatrist or psychologist about pursuing diagnostic testing. Your doc told you clearly his mind is closed.
I got my ADHD diagnose, and was also tested for autism, but was negative for that. I am for sure highly sensitive though, so always get a professional to check this out. My youngest son has autism, so trying to learn more so i can support him in the best way possible.
I think that the label of being "highly sensitive" might help people who feel stigmatized by the label of autism. As a newly diagnosed autistic woman who is also "highly sensitive" I think this is sad. The more people we can bring under the umbrella of neurodivergency the stronger we can be when we try to advocate for ourselves. Because I can tell you there are lots of people out there that want to keep autism as a stigmatized condition and they spread disinformation about what we know it is, and how it manifests in different people. This is particularly true for organizations that represent parents of autistic kids, like Autism Speaks. That organization spreads junk science, caters to the idea that parents are victimized by their autistic kids, and works to conflate intellectual disability with autism. Their survival as the best funded organization for autism centers on keeping the association of autism as a childhood disease, instead of recognizing that autistic kids grow up to be autistic adults, and we need resources too We will spend most of our lives as adults, after all.
Dr. Kim, I am super curious what perspective you may have comparing and contrasting autistic meltdown with PTSD panic. Thank you for all the content. I have watched the autism/PTSD video in particular, so many times.
What are your thoughts on autism and DID as comorbid conditions? I have both and am curious as to how to address autism in my system? This was very useful for me and my wife who is also autistic and has DID. We are working well finally after a few years and the autism pointers from yourself, and other creators has helped us build a structure we thrive in. Thank you so much, btw. This is very useful.
There seems to be a misunderstanding in the autistic community about the meaning of the word "disorder". It is not a derogatery term, but it is a way of allowing therapists to assess whether or not the condition is causing (severe) social, emotional or even physical distress and impairment for normal functioning. If so the diagnosis will allow you access to therapy, training, as well as give you the right to have extra aids and facilities available for you during education or at work. For example, noise blocking headphones, extra time to make a test, a seperate room to sit quietly, or an educational assistant to help with structuring school work. Those who fight the so called stigma of the word disorder and wish to see autism as some different ( and possibly in somevterms superior) wiring of the brain, greatly underestimate the debilitating impairments of some autistic people and the hardships of their caretakers. Some may never be able to support themselves independently. If your own symptoms are milder, consider yourself blessed, but please do not downplay this disorder, for you may harm those that depend on a clear diagnosis.
I can assure you that it IS a derogatory term. That is why real experts distinguish between clinically relevant, i.e. disease, and just a trait or personality structure. Please do not downplay the devastating effects such labels can have on careers, and lives in general.
@@NoName-pd7uf We really need to be careful how we describe personal characteristics. When I first started teaching special education, my students were called perceptually handicapped.
So cool! I'm an HSP with adhd. I'm definitely overlapping with those with Autism. I experience anxiety, sensory issues and shutdowns, but I'm not as rigid with routines and can navigate socially if absolutely necessary (but it's still stressful). I prefer friends who are on the Autism spectrum. We get each other, and we don't have to walk on eggshells around each other.
I recently came across something called Broader Autism Phenotype (BAP) that describes family members of autistic people having some autistic traits and behaviours, but not enough to meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis? Have you heard of it before? As someone who has felt they might be autistic, I found it interesting.
Yes, I have autistic family members and the BAP description fits me well. I have some autistic traits, but not to the degree described by autistics. I test just below the threshold for autism on most of the online tests, except the Aspie Quiz which I score highly likely neurotypical for some reason.
@@lellachu1682 I’ve always thought that since autism is a spectrum, that at some point it must flow into a “neurotypical spectrum.” This would mean that some people would be at the threshold of autistic. I’ve always thought this is where I am too.
Yah, thats NOT autism, it's adapting to the environment. My grandfather was an Aspie, my gran a hard-core empath- and they wouldn't have mated if the war hadn't erased half of the men. Lol. I grew up around them, and to this day feel comfortable with Aspies. I also acknowledge that I am very different from them in some respects. Also, trauma and gut issues must not be underestimated in influencing brain development and cognitive abilities.
Thank you for your very informative video, and it is good to find a doctor who is so understanding of this disorder. May Abba [God] bless you, your family, and your ministry. I wish psychologists were all so caring of their patients.
17:26, many with sex chromosome abnormalities (SCA’s), like Klinefelter Syndrome, Jacobs Syndrome, etc, carry the comorbidity of autism. 13:26, in my life, the autism, and the ADHD, seem to balance each other. Having only one, or the other, would not be very nice. Good video. I feel better.
I’m going to need this video after my evaluation because I have a strong feeling I have ASD. And I know my family and friends are NOT going to be accepting of it!
Wow!!!!! I have been told by many people that I am on the spectrum of autism. At the point, I know that I am. I resonate with everything you said, 100%.
I’m now in my mid 50’s and I have always felt different. I never understood how I was different, just that I was different to others. I’m very sensitive and I remember as a child my older sister laughing at me and mocking me, particularly in front of my relatives. I remember how embarrassed and humiliated she made me feel. To this day if I see someone being mocked or teased I see the discomfort that person is feeling and I try to distract them in a nice way so that they don’t feel embarrassed or humiliated. My son has been diagnosed with ASD and ADHD. I understand that both are hereditary and I believe I too have both. I have not had contact with my siblings for almost eight years because I finally realised that I don’t deserve to be poorly treated by those that I have known all my life simply because they are related to me.
🫶💐
Thank you, I also was bullied and made fun of by my sister in front of friends and family. I stepped away for over 10 years now but she has been trying to reconnect again. I don’t trust her.
This sounds just like me! I've had no contact with my siblings for over a decade now. They treated me terribly! It took me so long to realise. We deserve to be treated with respect and it serves us and our mental health to remove ourselves from painful relationships. I am also in my 50's and only last year did I find out it may be ASD and ADHD. It explains my whole life! Find the people that help you feel good and I will too. 🙏 x
Agreed. Sending 🫂
Good for you for staying no contact. Home is where we feel safe 🙏
After so much struggles I now own a new house and my family is happy once again everything is finally falling into place!!
I'm 37 and have been looking for ways to be successful, please how??
Thanks to my co-worker (Alex) who suggested Ms Claudia Ann Brandon.
She's a licensed broker in the states 🇺🇸
After I raised up to 325k trading with her I bought a new House and a car here in the states 🇺🇸🇺🇸 also paid for my son's surgery (Oscar). Glory to God.shalom.
God is more than enough for us, and his mercy is new every morning.
This is so my life. I have always been the odd one out. Been accused of being annoying, needing structure, rocking side to side or swinging my foot, can't handle being in large groups of people very long without becoming agitated, over sharing, sensitive to materials and food textures, etc., and never knowing Why! Until my son was diagnosed with high functioning autism. When I was researching, trying to help my son, I came upon all of this information and I just, wow, this is me, too! I always tried to hide it because I was made fun of a lot by my 4 older sisters. I'm 68 years old now and can say, I'm me and I'm not putting that mask on for anyone any more. It's been a ride! 😊
Congrats!! At 62, I have finally found out why I was not like them my whole life! I wish you the best-now you and I can start living our own true lives.😊
Same, omg the nervous foot thing.. rocking side to side .. not liking crowds ( my brother also) over sharing... Etc.
Theres no such thing as a normal human being, we all have different traits going on
@@angelstarr495 I didn't say anything about “normal“.
@@magiegainey5036 what i meant is that you cant put anyone into a bracket, we are all individuals..
Being significantly disregulated by the hyper materialistic,insular, isolated society we've built seems like a healthy human response . We need extensive family groups and connection to nature. Instead we've encased ourselves in concrete with a bunch of chemicals. Fewer and fewer are thriving in this.
Yes, and the more society becomes materialistic and narcissistic, the more it creates suffering, and the more people try to compensate acting selfishly, like chain reaction in a nuclear bomb .
This comment makes me happy I work in play-based outdoor all-weather year-round early childhood camp/schools.
@@flowersafeheart Way more of that please.
@doctorberkowitz Fake! Everything feels fake. It also feels impossible to ignore.
I agree modern society is not a healthy place to live
As a person w aspergers, diagnosed by a doctor when I just turned 20 in year 2001... it truly has been a journey of acceptance....
My ex-husband, who was high ranking USAF, worked WITH (not for) John Bolton (don’t ask my opinion about him) at the Department of State, and worked at Area 51, was diagnosed in 2009, with Asperger’s. Of course they no longer give that diagnosis and it’s just Levels 1-3.
Here’s the kicker, I’m 60 and NEVER in a million years, as someone who is highly educated and highly experienced in working with (for decades) and observing CHILDREN with ASD, would have even considered I could be on The Spectrum. But after looking at the distinct differences in females and then sitting down to make a list of my own traits and behaviors, I now have a 9 page, single space, 12 pt Times New Roman don’t document that exhibits all the ways I fit the diagnosis. My evaluation is coming up in early August!
@@prodigalson1870 Hi there. Sounds Interesting! Good luck to you ☺️
@@Celta81 Healing with you
@@seed.meditation thanks ❤️
@@Celta81 kindly jam in my world
Thank you for being available on TH-cam Kim , I'm attempting another doctor tomorrow I will keep you all posted.... I'm 50 and all my life felt like I'm not from here (my soul took a wrong turn & landed on earth) my daughters are autistic Asperger's & ADHD xx
I know how you feel!
That is word for word how I describe my life.
I hope it goes well and they listen to you.
I NEVER felt like I belonged here either !!! I felt soooooo different like a foreigner & couldn't understand why! I'm 46 & just starting to appreciate how really different & sensitive I am . Much love
I just wanted to let you know my doctor heard me & asked me to fill in a questionnaire, I am not sure what he is going to do now (I have never been good at appointments I can't remember what he said either) it's a start I think 💚 love to everyone
I am an introvert. I was a very quietly spoken child and teenager. I rarely talked to anyone because I lacked social skills and the ability to express myself openly. I was a passive naive young person. I preferred to be alone and do what I wanted in my spare time. I am not a misanthropic person because I have dealt with my inner demons and come to terms with who I am. The fact that I grew up in a toxic family who physically, emotionally, and verbally abused me made me hate everyone until I became an adult.
I never knew what an introvert was until I read Dr Carl Jung's books about different personalities and archetypes. I also read Emotional Intelligence and other self-help books which improve myself.
I dislike being classified into various labels, negative stereotyping and being pigeonholed into a category by certain therapists.
🎉🎉🎉
Well said
I survived 😅, I'm 70 and this is my best time. I'm strong and free, at last 🙂
Why is it your best time?
Me too and I’m also 70 years young!
👏👏🏅🏅🏅👏
I’ve detached from “normal life” and chose to be a stay at home mom because it was the most I could do in the world without living in shutdown/meltdown. It’s the only way I could function with any Grace. Still many days I get overwhelmed, which lead me to try to understand why. As I have started homeschooling, I’ve also noticed things in my children that I did - and because they are being homeschooled, they aren’t treated as bad or wrong or disordered for doing them. Just recognized and accommodated and then we work thru the things that are disruptive so they can have a better experience and give a better experience to others (which is something highly sensitives want, even tho ASD sensitives may not inherently know how to achieve.)
This lead me to research autism, which lead me to Embrace Autism.
Been down the rabbit hole for a bit today.
My results:
MQ 4.7 (221/235) - more monotropic than 95% of autistic people and 100% of allistic people.
RAADS-R: 193 (highest autistic score is 227 and anything over 160 is highly indicative of autism)
Aspie Quiz: 160 of 200 (100% probability of being atypical)
AQ score: 45 of 50 (“a score of 32 or higher tends to identify respondents with clinically significant levels of autism-related traits.”)
This makes my entire life make so much sense. It actually kind of feels liberating - even though I know no one is going to believe it and everyone is going to think it’s a cop out. So I will just keep this information for me. Allow it to help me develop kinder tools to assist myself and my children, and be a better mother and wife.
No. I actually believe you and your research does help me a lot. I'll start my own journey of tests and researches. My congrats to you for accepting yourself as you are- whatever that may be (and it may actually be an invaluable asset, as it is. This I do not know yet, but maybe it is better than being "just normal". All the best🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀
Up until you posted your test results, I was thinking is this me?
You see, I have yet to take the tests. It's so great seeing people getting validated after all these years. It feels great to be validated, too. ❤
I found out I have autism by such a test. It explains alot now at age 60. All my life I felt misunderstood.
How to afford $3000 for a test though?
theres heaps of free authentic online tests
I recently met a psychiatrist who specialises in this field and he put me onto them
after doing a few you’ll have a very clear idea of where you sit on the spectrum
I'm 68. I've never understood how people work. I had a friend that I trusted teach me how to do the "hug greeting" when I was 65. Before that, I had always either avoided it or did this awkward bobbing dance, leaning the wrong way and then looking like those weird bird mating dances. I got pretty good at just shoving out my hand in front of myself for a handshake. Awkward, but less awkward than that dance. I have zero understanding of the majority of social cues and small talk makes me want to claw out my own eyes. I took some of those on-line tests and they were like if you score 27 you might be autistic.... as I stare at a score of 134. Does getting an actual diagnosis at this age really help?? I hope you answer even if the answer is no. Thank you.
@@Cy-bz9jh Nice work on getting the hug greeting down! I'm often doing the bird mating dance or just feeling awkward & anxious, "Too short? Long? Am I sweaty? Were they even expecting or wanting a hug?"
I've been asking how or if diagnoses have helped people for a while now & feel quite conflicted as to whether it's something to pursue personally. Most people have said it helped them understand themselves. I think I need strategies & skills to function better, rather than a reason why I don't. But maybe that comes with understanding onesself? This is the first video I've seen where the topic of diagnosis was discussed as a possible negative & I'm interested to hear more of her thoughts on it. I hope you find the path that's right for you X
@@waynefay8210 Do you know where I can find these authentic tests or could you provide any links? Thanks.
My psychiatrist was not very nice when I brought this up. I brought up ADHD first and he responded with "everybody has ADHD now and you can't even get the meds because everybody is taking it". He made me feel so uncomfortable that I didn't even bring up the autism. I had a full sheet of paper to go over with him, but he made me feel so dumb that I didn't bother. He sent me out for ADHD testing and once I'm through with that, I'm switching doctors.
I’m SOO glad to hear you’re switching immediately. Regardless of the diagnosis no healthcare provider should EVER have you feeling this way. It is just plain wrong. I applaud your self advocacy!!
Sending you much strength and positivity on your journey of self discovery 💞✨
@@commonsense571 Thanks for your support ❤❤
@@commonsense571
No one MAKES anyone else feel ANYTHING. You, and you alone, are in charge of your emotions.
How do you know this person isn't reading something into the situation that simply wasn't there?
Change doctors as fast as you can. Lack of compassion is harmful. Glad you are on top of this and wish you the best!
@@lisahinton9682 when you are visiting a psychiatrist, there is an expectation of professionalism and a duty of care. And when said ‘professional’ has limited experience and knowledge of autism in females, of COURSE it can make you feel something. We are conditioned to believe this person has way more knowledge so it causes us to question our own experiences. I too had a psychiatrist who caused me (in the moment) to feel this way.
Human beings are deeply affected by our interactions with others, it is the way we have evolved to live in a society,
I'm highly sensitive and AuDHD and this video is very good! I labeled myself as highly sensitive for a while before I started listening to content creators and psychologists and it was mind blowing to me. It felt like everything I experience and struggle with was validated and it has become a passion to understand more. It's very fascinating and now I understand why I've always felt like I'm a very complex person! Thank you so much for talking about it!
Do you suffer from autism burnout
I'm an Aspie. Thank you so much for this video. You've explained so many symptoms (which) I can't explain. I'm 46, got my diagnosis when I was 41 and I'm continuing on my personal adventure to understand myself better so I can learn to adapt to function in a world that is not made for a person like myself.
I'm going to add you to my list of experts who I follow and learn from.
Live long and prosper!
(L)
OMG, you mentioned the satin on the blanket!
I'm 45 and still sleep with my baby blanket because of the feeling of the satin trim on it. It's so shredded and worn, but man, I have never found a satisfying replacement. Also, squeezing BIC lighters in my hand. I haven't smoked in 11 years, but that feeling of a BIC lighter in my hand helps me enter a highly creative trance state. I don't know anyone else like me in this way.
I just took the Autism Spectrum Quotient test you recommended and scored a 38.
I am new to following you, and now I think you are so cool for making this video. Thanks
Not the lighter but my child has a satin blanket and has been diagnosed with Autism.
@@Tricia-xo6fq I'm curious which came first? Did you get the blanket after the diagnosis?
I've seen highly autistic kids with spoons in their hands. I assume the BIC lighter serves the same purpose for me. Lighters are more condensed, and the BIC brand has nice contours for comfortable clenching. I know it's so weird, but clenching the lighters triggers my brain to create visuals for manifesting.
Squeezing the satin on the blanket at night is just comforting for sleep. It's the cooling sensation in my hand that I crave. Again, I know it's so weird, but I learned to do this before I could even speak, and I stuck with it.
@@mindfulmaximalism Well, they say "my baby blanket", so clearly it came first, not the diagnosis.
@@handebarlas6248 Actually, she said her child had a satin blanket. Have you had your eyes checked recently?
Thank you so much for this video. Very important content.
I am a 58 year old woman, and have read and watched so many things surrounding this topic since a health crisis a few years ago blew everything wide open and provided me with greater awareness of myself, and clarity about my whole life. I want to thank you for your work, and for this video, which finally absolutely confirms to me my suspicions of autism. Ticking every box here. It makes my whole life make sense, and will hopefully make the rest of it a little easier, with greater self compassion. This was a genuine gift to me . Thank you, with all my heart, Dr. Kim.
I was just dx’d ND, but have always been a HSP, but have, as you said, am high functioning & also have several comorbidities/mental illnesses (ADHD/CPTSD/3 anxiety dx’s, BPD, BP1, MDD), and when I learned, in 222, that I was ASD, so much of my life made sense! I’m in Trauma Therapy & have a great PsyMD (neuropsychiatrist) & support from friends & family. I also suffered a TBI in October of 2021, which led to my AuDHD/ASD dx.
Thank you for your videos & insight, bc it makes us feel seen & heard. Much love & light from N.C., Ms. Kim!❤
43 years old.. and i hit the mark on almost all of these ..
it’s been a long journey 😪
i didn’t talk till is was 5, not that i didn’t know how, i didn’t want to, everything was to intense .. im really good at seeing patterns in life, not good at maintaining friendships 🥺 that one hurt saying..
can’t wear on sleep on certain fabric ( i like 100 percent natural fabrics)
in need a lot of alone time to make sense of things ..
i fell into a drug addiction.. because everything was to intense ( im now almost 6 years sober 🙏🏻)
i get over stimulated around to many people and stim ?
i could go on.. but im sure others here know.
btw im James 👋🏼
i wanna also remind you all out there how beautiful we are 🥹
we are creative, fun, caring, interesting.. we see life differently.. we see life in a vary special way.. and you are so special ❤
i also wanna say sorry if you have been hurt by others because they don’t understand. .. i truly believe we are like this for a purpose 🙏🏻 ❤️🩹
I've always felt this way. I could talk, but I chose not to because everything was so intense. I didn't want to break this silence. How can you talk when soooo much is going on? I feel like I came to this earth to observe, not to participate. My life has been so difficult, almost a constant suffering. When there are people around, it's hard. I always try to go as far away as possible, as alone as possible. I always tried to find places to hide to eat (sometimes I even went to hide in the toilet ;) ) like a small animal that needs to protect itself while eating. Just being there takes a lot out of me. Eating at the same time... a major challenge. When I'm in nature, alone with the majesty of the trees, I feel infinitely good (and even more so if there are animals - I feel good with animals(I like talking to crows when I see them :D - I say to them if they squawks: ''don't be afraid, I am Marianne, I am a good girl''. Ha ha! I just make sure I'm alone in the vicinity ;) ;) ), they and I speak the same language ;) ).
@@mariannelabanane2589 I was talking to an owl the other day and I showed my grandson and he was so amazed and that made my chest expand with 😊❤
The beauty of having a video on autism, with the music of Erik Satie, who was most likely himself neurodivergent, was not lost on me.
Also high intelligence can impact the traits that are mentioned here.
Yes! That is what I have realized as an adult. In my case, I am frustrated with others for not seeing or doing things that are “obvious”, or when they appear absent-minded. However, in actuality, high intelligence is a gift that allows me to process tasks differently and effectively . What seems easy to me could be very difficult for someone else. I’m not talking about academically. I’m referring to life skills and day-to-say decision-making. I’m finally realizing it may not be the other person‘s fault, and I am actually the one who is different because of high intelligence.
High intelligence also gives you the ability to manipulate others if you misuse your gift. I don’t do that, but I can see situations where I easily could do it and get away with it. When I was a little kid, I manipulated situations a few times to avoid getting into trouble, but I didn’t understand why at the time. As I matured, I realized that the manipulation is sometimes the same thing as telling a lie and lacking integrity.
I am ADHD, but have many friends and family members on the Austic spectrum, who've also experienced trauma. This video makes sense.
Thank you, Dr Kim.😊
Early this year, I was dx as autistic and adhd at 62 yrs old.
I love the Embrace Autism website, and I follow a content creater's channel who's also autistic and adhd called Mom on the Spectrum.
I'm glad that I found you! 😊
Very informative. I have a friend who is HSP and I will send her this video. She sent me a book about it and I related to everything in it but I am more severe. I did an Autism test and I off the scale in certain areas but don't fit the stereotype in others it made me realise that a lot of things I did and do to get me through the day are coping mechanisms and masking. I am also 90% mute. No coping mechanism can cope with shutdowns and long periods of recovery. Replaying everything in my head until I could process and move on. A living nightmare at times.
I have been going down the rabbit hole, trying to see what this whole "autism" thing is all about. Today, during this video, i burst out in tears when i realized that i am, in fact, autistic. It's no longer a question in my mind. What put me over the edge was the part about self soothing.
Keep up the great work, Dr. Sage
🤗
Well.done I hope you are OK I'm.not sure about me but my son has aspetgets I'm.definatly on ADhd I have most if what she dr Sage is saying too empathy as well.tjank God
I read Elaine's books several years ago, and scored extremely high on HSP. I notice subtleties in body language, tone, what's said and unsaid. I also have fibromyalgia and CFS caused by a car wreck. I just want to express that these illnesses are possible with being a HSP and not just autistic. A lot of the medical community don't even recognize HSP. So, studies are sorely lacking.
Plus, illness is related to trauma and stress. HSPs are very likely to have trauma and stress.
And it all can overlap or hide other traits. I am very sure I would be diagnosed as Autist, but when I think back when I worked in science, all was different. People understood my jokes, and supposedly weird thoughts were considered interesting, and smart, not weird. So how much of my so called social awkwardness is people just not grasping what I am saying, so I tend to be quiet even more, and how much is really autism.
Have you been through extreme trauma ?
@@NoName-pd7uf Highly intelligent is another thing that makes it hard being in society.
@@lornocford6482cptsd can look very like autism if you have childhood trauma.
Eye opening. It's finally okay to be myself. I'm not crazy nor am I the only one who is bothered by everyone and everything. With your videos, and bravery to share your voice, it helps people like me well into adulthood with grown children better understand myself..
❤
My parents thought when my pediatrician said I had minimal brain dysfunction in 1963 they thought he was telling them I was mildly retarded. (Words used back then) So that was how I was treated. Like there was no hope for me and no one wanted to waste their time with me. I also had seizures. I had many behaviors and sensory issues that is normally associated only with Autism but I was higher functioning and had language. I had really bad sensory issues. I had my downs. Everything you said about autism applies to me. But didn’t find out till my mid life. Cognitively my IQ rest they gave me in grade school showed I was in the superior intelligence level but my mom said I could not use my intelligence when I asked about it a year later. I was one confused and lonely child. Although I absolutely prefer being alone more times than not I still craved humanity interactions. Because of the seizures and the TBI I had at birth people didn’t let their kids play with me because they thought I was as mentally ill and retarded. People were so ignorant to seizures back then.
I was born in 1960 and people didn’t understand a lot of things that they do now in the 21st-century. I’ve never been able to keep friends. I’ve had two close friends my whole entire life. I do everything alone with no problem. But I have phobias up the ying Yang. Oh I have written too much but I get so stimulated when another piece of the puzzle falls into place for me. Thank you for taking the time to make that video.
Also, I wanted to add because I did not notice. I have the zebra disease and so did my dad. We were both quite stretchy and bendy ours was the common connective tissue type, but I was blessed not to have it too bad. Ehlers Danios survive things that they mean pop up and listen.
Thank you for sharing your story! I was born in 82
I can relay in a lot of ways that a lot of the way that people treated me was that I was just a little bit dumber than everybody else.
Almost as if I had a plague
I too had an IQ test
At 3 years old and tested very high
However I have a twin sister
I did not know until recently,
After two of my younger children were diagnosed ASD
About female masking.
I've always known I was sensitive and my mother always told me how sensitive I was
I took it as it was a weakness, a flaw.
Education is power. 💪
I was labeled as retarded by my 3rd grade teacher. This was in the 1970s. I think my mom knew there was something different about me, it turned out I have a very high IQ, but I was so clumsy, I couldn't tell time, and my processing speed for learning my multiplication tables was the worst in my class. I was 2 yrs behind in reading. By the time I was in 6th grade I was reading at a collegiate level. Autistic brains are weird like that. We have what is called a "spikey profile".
My cousin was diagnosed with autism in the early 70s. My brother had what they termed "hyperactive kinetic disorder" in the 1960s, that diagnosis is called ADHD today.
I am sorry you went through being labeled as retarded. As someone who was labeled that I understand how it follows you around for the rest of your life. I went back to college around 30 yrs old and became a scholar with perfect grades partially to prove to myself I wasn't mentally retarded. It was like I was running away from it.
It's disgusting what I telling advanced people have to deal with...a planet of ignorant apes it seems..
It is better to have fewer good friends than many fake ones. You are not the only one with 2 friends. Did your seizures continued in adulthood?
I'm confused but i see the world with pure heart, caring & loving the nature , animals and peoples ✨
Also have deep understanding..
I love to give happiness into others ❤️🌠
So please!!!! Never change 😊
@@soniacalcagno1121 Never Ever ✅ I'm a true Indian 🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳🇮🇳
Love is in my blood ❤️
I have watched over a hundred YT videos on autism, and this is the best one I've seen. Excellent analysis.
❤❤❤🙏🏻🙏🏻
Needing recovery time and social struggles caught my attention. Eventually being alone became the sought after goal …
It seems completely natural to keep people at a distance, and to have lost any desire for a partner. It is enormously stressful to interact with others for very long, yet I don’t really feel like I chose a solitary lifestyle, more like I do well with what others don’t tolerate well , conditions
Funny , I once looked into being a Light House Keep, until I remembered they also have to use a fog horn.
Lol
lol, I did the same thing! I thought a lighthouse keeper would be a great job. However, no Wifi which might be a deal breaker. And most of those jobs want men and/or couples to do the maintenance stuff. As a not-very-handy woman, that probably wouldn't have worked.
I also thought a convent would be great. However, not Catholic :)
This is the most helpful video on autism I've watched so far, and I've watched a great deal. I had no idea about the whole stimming-thing in regards to watching the same thing over and over and over again.😔
5 minutes in. I feel overwhelmed. Maybe I can listen to this at half speed. Some other time.
Me too.
I've benefited from taking notes while listening, giving myself time to write by pausing the video. Many videos also have a transcript which helps for following along.
lol i tried to walk away from this 20 times in 4 minutes lol im forcing myself to stay bc of that
Thanks! I’m listening slower and big help!
Agreed. I would rather there were clear lists on the screen, not just talk talk talk at this speed.
Yes. Sudden change is really hard for me because of the need and comfort gained from routine, repetition and need to focus/fixate on something I’m passionate about. Currently in that place and it’s been really hard.
I relate to being in a hard place right now and the change was not of my own doing but I am seriously affected by it. 🙏 Keep fighting the good fight..
Very helpful, thank you, as always. For me the route was finding HSP in 2011 but it didn’t explain everything. Then while searching for hyperempathy vs HSP I found similar women on the wrongplanet website, then found Intense World Theory, then read everything I could find. Autism is clear in me, my eggshell father (w/daily meltdowns), and other family. I am so glad to see the rise in awareness in other high-masking women. I hope your status as a psychologist helps other psychologists not be so ignorant about autism in AFABs. I’m 59, and so wish I had known about autistic me and my autistic father decades ago. Lots of grief. Having read Neurotribes and everything else I could find on autism and its history, I’m so disgusted by how badly both psychiatry and psychology have screwed this up. My psychiatrist (for TRD that’s hard to parse from autistic burnout& is likely both plus PTSD) said in 2012 that I “wasn’t odd enough”🙄 . I don’t talk about it much w/him or therapist, they just don’t want to know, want it to all be trauma. I’ve always told people close to me that I deserve an Oscar, so the recent “discovery” of masking has been so helpful in understanding myself. I also have hEDS and a bunch of the other comorbidities that also were late-diagnosed. Medicine has also really failed us. Thank you for your work and for sharing it with us. I look forward to your videos!
Well I just went to Embrace Autism and took several of the tests on their website, and it looks like - according to their tests - that I am not autistic. So I must be highly sensitive, because I relate to EVERYTHING you said about HSP.
Same for me. I am a HSP for sure, however, not autistic.
I am a newly diagnosed with ASD. The neuropsychologist that diagnosed me told me that to understand my place on the spectrum that I am highly masking, highly functional, barely detectable on the autism spectrum with many tests. I am highly imaginative, I am highly empathetic and sensitive to others. But socializing is exhausting for me. I point this out because the way they screen for autism in women has been transformed very recently. The thing to understand about autism is that autistic brains process information differently. Sometimes that looks very different from the outside, other times not to much. If you have ADHD and autism, which the majority of autistic people do have co-occuring ADHD on top of their autism, you are probably not going to screen as autistic on online tests because ADHD masks the autism and the autism masks the ADHD.
I think it is much more helpful to think back on your childhood and your experiences. Did you feel excluded socially? Were you bullied? Were you a picky eater? Did you engage in repetitive behaviors? Lots of my repetitive behaviors were inside my head. I would count things when I couldn't physically stim. I think that we can mask so thoroughly and completely that we've convinced ourselves we are "normal" when we are not. I still think "I can't be autistic because I have a sense of humor, I am not literal, I can engage in small talk easily", but the neuropsychologist told me she could spot my autism right away. She said that autistic women have a certain type of way we relax our faces. We seem more serious than the average person, It is hard to mask our resting face for hours.
Rather a lot of labelling going on in this world. Great video,in the end we have to find skills to cope with the world no matter our diagnosis. Sadly getting a good diagnosis mostly sucks
Did you take the HSP test?
@@crystalclear6864 Labels can be good, bad or neutral. They aren't inherently bad
Yes!!! Autoimmune: EDS, MCAS, POTS & neurodiversity go together.
Ehlers, AuDHD and PMDD 👋
@@philly8184 hugs. I get it
@@louiseyoung1231sure do heds I've had mcas fybromyalgia CFS chronic migraine autism ADHD it causes it all 😊
@@happytobehere1111yes TMS is high in us
@@philly8184what's going pmdd
Thank you for all your videos on autism. I am 53 & was just diagnosed with autism & adhd. I thought it was trauma & it caused me to be an HSP!
Someone in my family who works with autistic children still doesn't believe my diagnosis. They said it's just CPTSD.
oh "just " cptsd😮 wow and I am sorry that person doesn't get it or understand.
🫶💐
@ladyhagaming it hurt, but she doesn't make light of CPTSD. She has it too, and I also know she loves me. She only knows what she was taught. I'm hoping she'll be willing to watch videos like this. If not, it's her choice
Same.
I think I have both.. CPTSD and autism❤
These videos are so helpful when it comes to gaining perspective and knowledge. I'm currently 'investigating' myself, have quite certainly ruled out a few things and found others that where a much better fit. Not ready to go seeking an actual diagnosis yet, but amongst other things my work situation tells me that maybe I should. It'll probably take years to get an assessment.
Thank you Dr. Kim for continuing your research into Autism and HSP and bringing that information to us. I can see that just in my own life this info has helped in not only understanding myself much better but also in understanding some of my friends and other people around me. Also, the information that you have been providing has become more refined since you first started. Thank you so much and please don't stop! ❤
i've been following your videos since around pandemic days, so learning and understanding about autism alongside you for the past year and a half, it has been very reassuring and comforting. i had some suspicious, as i've always struggled deeply in many regards, but lacked the self confidence in advocating for myself, and feared others would think "you can't possibly be autistic" because of the way i mask. Seeing people who are like me being open to conversation and sharing their experiences, it feels reassuring. This video is very informative, and i think will help my family ease into the conversation of a possible autism diagnosis for myself. Thank you, Dr. Sage! 💙
I’ve always felt off and different from people in society. I’ve been misdiagnosed in the past. At first I got told I just had general learning disabilities. Then as an adult I got diagnosed with adhd. But I truly think I’m mildly autistic. The over sensitivity to everything hits home. The social difficulty resonates a lot with me as well. Told I’m annoying, I over share, I’m weird. My entire life lol. I’m married now, and have learned how to function most days, but the over stimulation and needing an off day, is so true for me.
As a highly sensitive empath, I have struggled with anxiety and depression for 40 years. I realized however that I was not able to express myself to the degree I was feeling, and so the core issue was a spiritual deficiency, not a prozac or lithium deficiency. Having a vision in my life allowed me to work toward a long term goal and expressing myself writing songs and singing. However, I have fully recovered from all depression and anxiety as I no longer feel this darkness any more. This is a recent breakthrough this week. A couple weeks ago I still was struggling. It is fully gone now this feeling. I feel like my life is just beginning. It was a gradual experience though bc I have done holotropic breathwork, energy work, reiki, cranio sacral therapy, lymphatic bodywork, neuromuscular therapy, gestalt, hypnosis, meditation, yoga, soul retrieval, endless tears, and prayer gradually allowed me to fully transform the darkness into light while embracing both
I don't really like the term 'empath' - it's like some elitist new age garble. Empaths are just highly emotional people, usually having dealt with trauma as a child. It's not a title.
@@vingedheart Empaths that go through trauma and develop specialized hyper awareness and extra sensory perception have fine-tuned their emotions to an advanced degree.
@@EnergyCenterTV I agree that that's why we are more empathic - but a lot of people who call themselves 'empath' aren't even aware of that. They see it as some 'special' title like 'Indigo children' that I am not a fan of either.
Very informative. I'd love a video on Autism and ADHD from you.
Yes me too because she has a gift of explaining that helps us see these complex ways we may be different and accept them and even finally to be able to thrive in life with joy! Thank you Dr. 😅👏👏💐🙋♀️🌞
That’s the best video on autism I’ve ever seen. Thanks so much dr Sage. I’ve checked many boxes and the test showed that I have some autistic traits. I’ve always known that there must be a disorder that impedes me from getting jokes and social cues, also reading face expressions. I felt slow in that moments even though I didn’t doubt my intelligence. Now I know.
My granddaughter is definitely a highly sensitive person. She is still dealing with the trauma caused by her alcoholic, unstable mother, and she also deals with OCD. She’s 16 now and could probably tick off most of the boxes for autism, but she had no noticeable indicators as an infant and young child. I have quite a few indicators myself, and I recently read an article about the possibility of something like sub clinical autism, where the indicators are present, but not to the degree where a clinical diagnosis of autism could be given. I’m not fond of crowded, noisy places, but have discovered if I stay on the fringes, those situations are more tolerable. I don’t like small talk because I don’t like talking to people in general, unless it’s someone I know. I like to stick to certain routines, and feel a little unsettled if things are out of order, but at 73 years of age, 53 years of marriage, 4 kids and 3 grandkids, I’ve learned to adapt, even if it’s uncomfortable and irritable. Anyway, who knows… but great video and great info.
ocd can be part of austisme
@@ladyhagamingyes, autism and OCD can go hand in hand, but my granddaughter’s traits didn’t begin in early childhood, only after she began experiencing the trauma caused by her mother, starting when she was about 10. Thanks for the input.
@@katherinehealy6534 my ocd seemed to be triggered when stress and trauma when I was a tween. I was an undiagnosed with autism as a child and no one thought I had autistic traits as a child, but now looking back, my adults at the time realized they were there the whole time and I learned to mask real quickly so many of the traits can be hidded. so I wouldn't rule out the possibility of having the diagnosis of both
Have you looked into CPTSD (Complex PTSD)? Dr. Kim has a fairly recent video comparing it with autism. You might also find Heidi Priebe's channel helpful for info on CPTSD.
What makes you think that your granddaughter is a highly sensitive person? It can appear the same as trauma symptoms. SPS has a positive side too though.
Love your content and stretch to think about the over-laps. You’ve mentioned your marriage quite a few times, and I’m sure your focus is directed towards your children’s lives and career development. I hope at some point you could explain how your understandings of relationships dynamics from childhood… marriage…. Has influenced your choices and decisions in new relationships since your divorce and have they been successful because of your evolving interpersonal awareness’s. How are you challenging your own dynamics? Just food for another video to share what your relationship journey has been like in this last 17 years. It’s always helpful for me to see through the lens of real life experiences. Thank you Kim
Can you do a similar breakdown on HSP vs ADHD?
I also think it would be useful to distinguish between autism, HSP and social anxiety/social awkwardness, as I think there's a fair bit of overlap between these.
Also, I think empathy is in many ways a socially conditioned trait, I feel like I needed to learn how to appropriately express empathy as a kid. Many kids aren't necessarily empathetic, e.g. they'll torment bugs out of curiosity or for the fun of it.
I've always been sensitive and socially anxious. Been considering if autism might be a part of it for quite a while, but I'm still very conflicted on whether it applies to me or not - mainly because I don't have extreme sensory sensitivities and feel like my special interests aren't intense/obsessive enough.
Wow! An eye-opener for me. Particularly when it comes to HSP & ADHD overlap, but also CPTSD. Thank you.
Great video.
I do need to research this more.
I am hyper sensitive.
I have fybromyalgia.
I am also known as very safe person.
I also don’t make eye contact with people.
I said to a friend that I LOVE people and spending time with them but I don’t have the songs, you might call them, of what to say to people. I find spending time with them absolutely exhausting. My friend comes from an extremely safe home. I blamed my upbringing because my parents prided themselves on the great put downs they would come up with. Maybe this is a more accurate reason.
I do know that I need to sit on the end whether it is a dinner with best friends a movie or a conference.
I need to research this more.
I do know that even making phone calls to set up important medical appointments really bothers me even though it is no big deal.
Thanks for the test idea.
I will definitely be researching this more.
Your video was so well done, so informative and so compassionate.
Thanks for the food for thought. I've always claimed neurodivergence for several reasons but you're the first person who has made me truly consider if I am autistic. I have an autistic son and he struggles so much with social stuff and doesn't read social cues well. I have always said I would be autistic if not for that I DO read people especially well and am highly aware of social stuff and unspoken social cues such as subtle body language that most don't pick up on. I have extreme sensory issues as well as the other traits including hypermobility disorder. Now I'm thinking I am more like you and I have learned to excel at reading these social cues because I am an expert scanner, which I think is my nature but then I also had to become and expert because of my traumatic childhood. I have been in a similar field or work to you, as well. I chuckled about the eating others' food at gatherings, too, since potlucks are my nightmare!
Same.
I've never felt so understood in a video before. Especially after mentioning migraine and possible ptsd issues.
Is your migraine chronic
@@Truerealism747 yup
@@jbiddle9235 well I don't no if mines migraine in the body or fybromyalgia it's neck shoulders no headache daily now haven't had head migraine in 7 years though same pain nausea
Dr. Kim, you are so nice and I can certainly relate to HSP and I believe I have some autistic qualities going on, I'm 67, I have learned to train myself to behave in public like a normal person in some social situations,I even fool myself at times, convincing myself I'm normal.
Thank you. :) This video helped clarify autism in adults. I am seeing more and more the behaviors that are comfortable for me and how they are impacting my relationship. I now can accept my self diagnosis of autism and have more grace for me and with my spouse.
I've been diagnosed with anxiety, depression and PTSD/CPTSD. I'm still really struggling to ascertain if all of the social unease is due to these or whether I may also be autistic.
I have to consciously make myself hold eye contact, i'm constantly processing in my mind what is an appropriate way to respond to someone i'm having a conversation with. I overshare a lot and am very sensitive to anything that I perceive as social rejection, but I also prefer time alone and don't like events where i'd be socially expected to interact with a lot of other people.
At 37 years old i'm not sure what i'd gain from a diagnosis apart from a greater understanding/acceptance of myself as I don't believe any real support is offered for autistic people if they are deemed capable of work.
This just helped me connect some dots in audhd. My audhd led to bod thanks to so much relational trauma and it is the most tangled puzzle my brain has ever had to unravel… THANK YOU! 🙏🏼 ❤
Thank you for making this information available 🙏🏼 I’m 58 & was diagnosed 3 years ago, after a lifetime of confusion. I had a nervous system injury that has really impaired my ability to ‘mask’ like I use to. I really hope to somehow have access to professional help. This is proving very difficult in Australia atm. Which is one of the reasons I am so grateful to have found you and your YT. Many many Thanks 🫶💐
I didn't understand the "Bottom Up" one. Could you please elaborate a bit on that one?
Great job. Thanks for this. It helped create clarity. When you know, EVERYTHING makes sense.
I rarely get sick and have little allergies but I have a lot of the autism traits and ADHD. I'm very empathetic, I stem, I need structure and routine but have yet to figure it out, I am very direct, I can't read between the lines and despise people who speak in riddles or circles. I need deep connections, have no friends, a history of broken friendships, relationships and familyships. I've walked alone in life since 27. I need direct communication. Wjen working, I need a specific list of direction before I ca begin.
Thank you for this most elucidative and educational video on such an important matter for so many of us😊❤❤.
I've given the due thumbs-up and shared the vid!😊❤
Would you do a video on occupations best for those on the spectrum?
I'd just like to say that you have such a nice, calming voice. I just went to the Autism site and the bright colors and too many choices completely overwhelmed me, and I had to click out of it. I'll try again at some point. The characters also move; it's like, "Look at me!" All I felt was panic.
IT IS NOT A DISORDER, it’s a different way in which a brain is wired.
Agreed!!!!
We must label it sadly! Annoying! I think this is true of
Highly sensitive people too
1000%
You are absolutely correct.
I found a definition that it always involves a slow developing frontal lobe?
The sound of your voice is so relaxing. Thank you for this precious informations.
I FINALLY got my official autism diagnosm after a second opinion with health care professionals. Had to "fight" for it SO hard, took me 1.5 year in total. And now, after fightening all the way, i feel nothing about it anymore.😢 i hope the feeling will return & i can get more peace with it
Wow❤This is a brilliant video. Ive been HSP since I can remember,everything you say here really resonates with me and no doubt many others ❤
Have you looked at the research on very high IQ people? They tend to have those highly sensitive tendencies, among other things mentioned here. But not the autistic tendencies. They have many interests and go wide and deep with those interests. They don't have the need for routine and repetition and actually crave novelty. They prefer dealing with abstract concepts rather than the concrete. They have interpersonal difficulties for different reasons ... They take in stimuli and learn and think at a much higher speed and remember a lot more than normal IQ individuals, making communication and interaction more difficult. They do often mask to 'fit in, particularly women. They do need more time alone to recover from these interpersonal difficulties as well as to persue their interests. Because there are so few of them, they were rarely mirrored by anyone when growing up and find it hard to locate others like themselves. But I think the neural divergence causes some of the issues you mention here.
@16:03 I'm so anxious going into new places for the reasons you have listed!! Definitely hits home!
Beautiful and sincere video. Thank you 😊
Wow, just took the AQ test on the website you mentioned. I've always scored high as an HSP, but I also scored 33 on the AQ test, too. This does make me wonder! I think there are things that make me stand out and feel different from my other HSP friends. Maybe this could be it? Social awkwardness hit the nail on the head for me.
It’s feel weird that I completely relate to all of this but it feels like such a trend right now. It sucks when you can relate and have struggled your whole life but now it’s such a trend and everyone thinks they have ADHD, Autism or both. Makes me want to hide more.
Everyone probably does. We are all suffering tremendously on this unhealthy planet.
Best info I've ever found on the topic. Looking forward to hearing more. Thank you.
I was taught that small talk is like putting out little “feelers”. It’s hard to want to jump right into deeper topics with someone, for a lot of people, you need to get a feel for them first. So, people keep topics light and surface level. They’re subconsciously sizing up to see if you’re someone they can mesh with.
😮
That was my face when my Mom explained it to me.
I think it’s just been naive of me to think someone being polite actual meant they were nice/caring, which would translate to me info dumping tons of stuff on them. I could see how I would have been a very overwhelming individual that way. Cause those poor people were still trying to feel me out. But here I am with the fast pass to friendship trying to skip the line that I should be waiting in.
Small talk felt like it just always got in the way of really knowing someone. I wanted to get to the person behind the front we put on to world. Didn’t consider in those moments that these others want the same thing, but it takes way more time to forge something genuine.
This is sometimes took as disinterest and my RSD would make me completely shut down the progress. I’d then ghost. 😅 I wonder how different things would have been if I just understood these small conversations were “feelers”.
I still just think that smalltalk is so stupid.
Why should agreeing that the weather is unreliable at the moment prove to another person that I am trustworthy to talk about more serious stuff. I know that is how NTs work. But all I learn from smalltalk is often that the other person is silly, insincere and a liar. I value people who show honest feelings and can analyse and disect situations in a logical manner.
For me, smalltalk is almost always a lose-lose. NTs find out I am strange and I find out that they are stupid.
@@RoxyTrevellas
That’s not true tho. You should talk to somebody about that, in all honesty and to put it bluntly. Such pessimism about others and thinking every NT is operating on just stupidity is wrong.
You’re wrong to expect people to show honest feelings and be open to someone they barely know. Being open is a form of vulnerability that isn’t just given out. That’s why they say autistic people are likely to and tend to over share. Which actually makes many uncomfortable.
What you’re saying isn’t logical at all? It’s actually screaming you need therapy to address why you think this way of others. This probably harms a lot of your interpersonal relationships and their potential.
You also aren’t dissecting any situation with outlooks like this. You have preconceived judgements because of poor experiences you haven’t worked through.
I suggest you do.
I’m in the UK and have lived with Autism all of my life and was just one of the many that was diagnosed later on in life. You are absolutely spot on with everything, and I mean everything you have said in this video. I have what they call high functioning ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and probably due to that fact, I have never been unemployed ever and I’m now over 60. It has all come at a detrimental price to my own heath and wellbeing though over the years, having to mask my condition every single day to a point that I’m literally exhausted from living in the ‘Neurotypical World’ that I have found myself to be living in. Which incidentally is a very ignorant place for any Autistic person to live, especially here in the UK where disability discrimination here is rife. The biggest challenge I have found is making yourself be understood correctly, without unintentionally insulting someone. You see, in my world, everything is black or white, wrong or right, good or bad with no grey area’s at all. Anyway, well done and thank you for sharing your video. Brilliant! 👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I am an empath which means I'm highly sensitive. However it is very clear that I'm not autistic. Having said that it is extremely interesting to me how much overlap I do have with autistic traits. What I think that most people don't get is that autism is just what we call a part of the spectrum of how the human brain works. It isn't actually separate. It seems to be separate because we have historically in this society only catered to what we were falsely taught to be what all humans were supposed to be like. The reality is that each of us are the very definition of what it means to be human for us. We are getting better at recognizing that we each have different needs and we are slowly changing the way we are setting up society to accommodate all of us... but we have a long way to go. Having said all this I may actually be labeled as autistic in the future simply because I do have too much empathy and have many similarities to my autistic counterparts. But I don't actually display the sensory problems more than most neuro-typical individuals. Peace.
Thank you for putting this information out there. I have been in therapy from 14 years old to 28 years old. I'm now 34 years old and %100 sure I'am high masking autistic. I was diagnosed with social anxiety, mild depression, body dysmorphia, and PTSD. I was never evaluated for autism. I would like to be evaluated by a professional, but have found it more difficult finding someone for an adult diagnosis. I was introduced to a book about HSP about a decade ago, and I do feel that I do have that trait but to an extent. Pointing out the differences definitely had me leaning way more to HMA. I was in the gifted program in school, and recently have heard that it was for children with autism. I have never thought it was a trend, just different degrees, and I always felt as the population grew, so would seeing more people with autism.
A teacher asked me if I was a loner, others said I needed to come out of my shell, and one teacher said my friends weren’t as intelligent as me. I got no help, this was the 1980s.
That was better than him saying you are not as intelligent as your friends. Take it as a compliment.
Yes, wasn’t saying it was all negative. It just made clear the situation I was in.
For me it was the 50's so have spent most of my life unfulfilled & never will know due to lack of resources.
Yeah a late diagnosis is a bummer but it’s given me a great perspective as any difficulties in life do.
I asked my Dr psychiatrist where I could take a test on the autostic spectrum. He looked at me and said I am not autistic as autistic people need to be constantly assisted. He is a good Dr though but I never brought up the issue. I feel like I need desperdly to find the way to get tested. I took three online tests the last with almost 200 questions and in all three I got the result saying I am highly possible in the spectrum. But I can’t manage to find a place to register for being tested. I live in a small town in the Alps and there is no much services for anything. I will keep looking for a place to be tested. This video has been great and very accurate at least in my case. I can relate 100% with the description of autistic people in the video. Thank you so much ❤
You should, if possible, seek out a different psychiatrist or psychologist about pursuing diagnostic testing. Your doc told you clearly his mind is closed.
The click bait doesn't answer the 13 signs until 9:12
I got my ADHD diagnose, and was also tested for autism, but was negative for that. I am for sure highly sensitive though, so always get a professional to check this out. My youngest son has autism, so trying to learn more so i can support him in the best way possible.
The first description of a sensitive person described me exactly.I don't know if I am also autistic, but I know I'm different and have always been.
So glad i found you. I have EDS and am also autistic. ❤ Thank you for making this.
Me to chronic migraine to?
Thank you Dr. Sage!
💐 Your videos are so helpful!
as a late diagnosis autistic person i really enjoyed this video and your energy 🌞, thank you
I think that the label of being "highly sensitive" might help people who feel stigmatized by the label of autism. As a newly diagnosed autistic woman who is also "highly sensitive" I think this is sad. The more people we can bring under the umbrella of neurodivergency the stronger we can be when we try to advocate for ourselves. Because I can tell you there are lots of people out there that want to keep autism as a stigmatized condition and they spread disinformation about what we know it is, and how it manifests in different people. This is particularly true for organizations that represent parents of autistic kids, like Autism Speaks. That organization spreads junk science, caters to the idea that parents are victimized by their autistic kids, and works to conflate intellectual disability with autism. Their survival as the best funded organization for autism centers on keeping the association of autism as a childhood disease, instead of recognizing that autistic kids grow up to be autistic adults, and we need resources too We will spend most of our lives as adults, after all.
Dr. Kim, I am super curious what perspective you may have comparing and contrasting autistic meltdown with PTSD panic. Thank you for all the content. I have watched the autism/PTSD video in particular, so many times.
Always have to look at menu before going to a restaurant (mostly due to food allergies & being picky). 😊
What are your thoughts on autism and DID as comorbid conditions? I have both and am curious as to how to address autism in my system? This was very useful for me and my wife who is also autistic and has DID. We are working well finally after a few years and the autism pointers from yourself, and other creators has helped us build a structure we thrive in. Thank you so much, btw. This is very useful.
There seems to be a misunderstanding in the autistic community about the meaning of the word "disorder". It is not a derogatery term, but it is a way of allowing therapists to assess whether or not the condition is causing (severe) social, emotional or even physical distress and impairment for normal functioning. If so the diagnosis will allow you access to therapy, training, as well as give you the right to have extra aids and facilities available for you during education or at work. For example, noise blocking headphones, extra time to make a test, a seperate room to sit quietly, or an educational assistant to help with structuring school work. Those who fight the so called stigma of the word disorder and wish to see autism as some different ( and possibly in somevterms superior) wiring of the brain, greatly underestimate the debilitating impairments of some autistic people and the hardships of their caretakers. Some may never be able to support themselves independently. If your own symptoms are milder, consider yourself blessed, but please do not downplay this disorder, for you may harm those that depend on a clear diagnosis.
I can assure you that it IS a derogatory term. That is why real experts distinguish between clinically relevant, i.e. disease, and just a trait or personality structure. Please do not downplay the devastating effects such labels can have on careers, and lives in general.
@@NoName-pd7uf We really need to be careful how we describe personal characteristics. When I first started teaching special education, my students were called perceptually handicapped.
So cool! I'm an HSP with adhd. I'm definitely overlapping with those with Autism. I experience anxiety, sensory issues and shutdowns, but I'm not as rigid with routines and can navigate socially if absolutely necessary (but it's still stressful). I prefer friends who are on the Autism spectrum. We get each other, and we don't have to walk on eggshells around each other.
I recently came across something called Broader Autism Phenotype (BAP) that describes family members of autistic people having some autistic traits and behaviours, but not enough to meet the criteria for an autism diagnosis? Have you heard of it before? As someone who has felt they might be autistic, I found it interesting.
Yes, I have autistic family members and the BAP description fits me well. I have some autistic traits, but not to the degree described by autistics. I test just below the threshold for autism on most of the online tests, except the Aspie Quiz which I score highly likely neurotypical for some reason.
@@lellachu1682 I’ve always thought that since autism is a spectrum, that at some point it must flow into a “neurotypical spectrum.” This would mean that some people would be at the threshold of autistic. I’ve always thought this is where I am too.
Yah, thats NOT autism, it's adapting to the environment. My grandfather was an Aspie, my gran a hard-core empath- and they wouldn't have mated if the war hadn't erased half of the men. Lol. I grew up around them, and to this day feel comfortable with Aspies. I also acknowledge that I am very different from them in some respects. Also, trauma and gut issues must not be underestimated in influencing brain development and cognitive abilities.
Thank you for your very informative video, and it is good to find a doctor who is so understanding of this disorder. May Abba [God] bless you, your family, and your ministry. I wish psychologists were all so caring of their patients.
Very thorough descriptions of these traits.
17:26, many with sex chromosome abnormalities (SCA’s), like Klinefelter Syndrome, Jacobs Syndrome, etc, carry the comorbidity of autism. 13:26, in my life, the autism, and the ADHD, seem to balance each other. Having only one, or the other, would not be very nice. Good video. I feel better.
What is a bottoms up way ?
You process internally then bring it up to interact externally and socially
Bottoms up ? Sounds like going to the bar when stressed.😎🤔🤣🍷🥃
Hyposensitivity and sensory seeking were the main reasons why I did not believe I was an HSP.
EDS, MTHFR gene mutation and Comp. Finally believed and diagnosed at 56. ❤ You made a lot of puzzle pieces fit. Ty Dr. 😊
I’m going to need this video after my evaluation because I have a strong feeling I have ASD. And I know my family and friends are NOT going to be accepting of it!
Wow!!!!! I have been told by many people that I am on the spectrum of autism. At the point, I know that I am. I resonate with everything you said, 100%.