🌷identifying female autistics & how mild traumas can create ptsd in autistic people (🧠new research)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2024
- This video begins by sharing brand new research on the link between PTSD and autism and susceptibility to "even mild stressors" for those with autism to be more likely to develop PTSD symptoms. Next we explore in length, 4 research articles examining why it may be helpful to understand the "female phenotype of autism" in an effort to identify autistic women - especially given how late most women are diagnosed, while suffering since childhood.
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RESEARCH ARTICLES USED IN THIS VIDEO
PTSD and AUTISM:
www.sciencedaily.com/releases...
FEMALE PHENOTYPE OF AUTISM:
link.springer.com/article/10....
nasenjournals.onlinelibrary.w...
pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35593...
www.emerald.com/insight/conte...
link.springer.com/article/10....
link.springer.com/article/10....
LINK TO ASSESSMENT: THE AQ (AUTSIM SPECTRUM QUOTIENT):
(ANYTHING ABOVE A SCORE OF 32 **MAY** BE INDICATIVE OF AUTISM BUT IS WORTHY OF FURTHER EXPLORATION)
embrace-autism.com/autism-spe...
I found myself extra disjointed today. It has now dawned on me that my pants are uncomfortable. I am now giving them away as a result. Regardless of the quality and fit, it takes too long to realize that it’s affecting my ability to even think clearly, therefore it is not worth it to attempt wearing it again.
An example of how disruptively the most seemingly benign things can affect us.
I'm thinking the same about my underpants😂
@@tracirex that happened to me today too 😂
Tight clothes and/or itchy clothes drives me batty! Oh, also sticky on anything. List goes on.
I can relate to this. I had to get rid of a t shirt because the seams were poking me. It took me almost an entire day to realize why I was increasingly getting more angry and irritable for what I thought was no reason.
That's funny because I understand exactly what you mean!
I just received my diagnosis from a neuropsychologist a couple of weeks ago. I am 56 years old. I wanted to go over how she went about testing me to diagnose me because I think that her approach is going to be more and more common for late diagnosed women like myself.
1. I filled out a questionaire about sensory issues, my medical history, and my life history before my appointment
2. I was given an interview that felt like an intake for a therapist.
3.. I was given a battery of intelligence tests such as shapes, word associations, memory tests, etc. that were administered by an assistant
4. I was given tests to see if I was imaginative. During this testing I was observed by the doctor's assistant.
I was not given the tests I have seen online. The doctor said that she does not give those tests to adults that are what she called "high functioning". She said I was extremely high functioning and that I mask almost perfectly. She said there is a tell that women like me have, and that is we look "serious" when our faces are relaxed, and we do not show how deeply we are feeling emotions. She asked me questions throughout the interview process and then would ask me how I felt about the things I was sharing, like on a scale of emotion, and I feel things a lot more deeply than it shows on my face. It is one of the few things that women who mask extremely well can't "fake" because we don't even know that we aren't showing the depth of our emotions. She also said that I would share just a little bit too much, almost perfectly masked. I also do not make eye contact as much as neurotypicals. But the last part is something I have been experimenting with for a year now, trying to learn to unmask and not forcing myself to do things I used to do to fit in, like make lots of eye contact.
Since my assessment there is something that haunts my thoughts, have I went my entire life without letting people know how deeply I feel for them. For some reason that is devastating, the idea that all of the empathy and care I have for others wasn't read on my face, and perhaps that is why I always feel so distant, because people clock me as aloof and uncaring. That really hurts.
I understand how you feel. Although I let my close family members know how I feel about them, I didn't do it with teachers and coworkers, because I didn't feel that I was important to them, and that was because I always felt like an outsider in almost every group I was in.
@@marthamurphy7940 My son says he doesn't feel like he couldn't see how I feel. He always felt very loved. He was one of the few people I sought out prolonged eye contact with. I just loved to gaze at him when he was little.
I was described that way by my ex’s friend when we were going through custody after our divorce. “Cool and aloof” That really bothered me because that particular friend of his, I always felt really awkward and nervous around him because he was very good looking and I just felt like I wasn’t attractive enough to even talk to him. I know how stupid that sounds, but I was very full of low self esteem back then. I also have somewhat of a poker face myself, and like you said, I hope people that I love know how much I do love them. I’m not diagnosed, but have wondered especially since my grandson was diagnosed with it at age 3 and now my other grandson who is 4, just got diagnosed with ADHD. Maybe none of that even matters, but my life has been somewhat of a mess as far as relationships with friends and even awkwardness around family who aren’t immediate. Thanks for your comment.
Thank you for posting your experience in getting tested. I’m scheduled to be tested in a few week and I have no idea what to expect. I just know it will take about two hours and I will be receiving paperwork beforehand.
@@ChristineExpressions I am approaching my 3rd week post diagnosis. I feel very lucky that the doctor gave me the diagnosis before the report was written. They don't always do that. I think it varies from doctor to doctor, and how sure they are of the diagnosis.
My advice is try to do what feels natural to you, I tried to do all of the tasks with my full attention. I tried hard to pass all of the IQ tests. I tried very hard to be imaginative. She had me take 5 small random objects and told me to make a story out of them. She said I did things with the objects she had never seen before. I created an entire person out of the objects, including a costume. I am extremely creative. I have been told that I am creative all through college. I tried hard with this because my ego and self concept would not allow me to do otherwise, but autistic people are often unable to excel at imaginative tasks.
People who have ADHD and autism dual diagnosis are often less socially impaired more imaginative according to some studies. And it is a really common diagnosis for people who are highly masking. I assume I have ADHD and autism both. And part of me is wondering if this diagnosis is so common if perhaps ADHD is a form of autism. But that is an entirely different conversation
I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤
Thank you for sharing this. Recently diagnosed at age 59, I mask so well that I didn't even know that I had a sensitivity to scent and noise that wasn't "normal", or that my feeling panicky or irritated in crowds was something I should pay attention to. I usually just push myself through difficult situations and then think I'm stupid and weird because I can't cope as others seem to. I've been intinctively quieting my life lately and feel calmer as a result, even though I realize I'm getting isolated. I love to be alone because things are finally peaceful! For now, I need that peace to try to work out who I really am... and have been my whole life! This video has been very helpful.❤
That resonates with me also.
I feel like every word you have been saying to unmask autism resonates so strongly with my actual being. I had no idea how buried I was. How can one get to almost 50 and brush it off as people pleasing when it is actually potentially autism. I'm overwhelmed with how much work there is to do to get to know who me is.
Have courage and take it gently
I feel that. Dr. Sage's videos have helped me so much. I am 52 non diagnosed, but I have a strong suspicion of being autistic. I have never genuinely fit in though I can play pretend and have also been in therapy for 15 plus years with little movement forward. Having a diagnosis would help me tremendously heal the self hatred I feel for being such a misfit who "just can't get it right".
Lol
I feel that too. I've been so buried, so repressed, and trying so hard to fit into a world that doesn't really work for me...and now that I understand that, and I'm trying to be my true self, it's so exhausting. Yes, it's amazing to finally understand, but I'm so very tired.
Hang in there. I am 72 and just found out that I am ADHD and Autistic. I was so good at masking I masked myself. I am working my way out and try to keep working your way through this. You can get there. The way I see it now is that we have amazing brains and we have been trying to “fit in” our whole lives. I now see it as a gift and I am beginning to to have fun with it and I try to recreate the external support system I had my whole life, but in a way that supports my new life. I can to the point of “who wants to be normal:!❤
Thank you so much, Dr. Kim, for this deep dive you've been doing on Autism in women. I've also been discovering, over the last couple years, that I'm autistic, after my middle aged daughter brought it to my attention as a possibility. I've been deep diving too, and it's amazing to finally come to understand myself @ 64. Better late than never, right? I have an assessment next month. I'm nervous. I don't need her to tell me I'm autistic. I'm already very clear about that. Though it would be nice to have the recognition and I am worried about her influencing my opinion. I'm very high masking and people would not guess that I'm autistic. I'm mostly going to find out if a diagnosis will help me access resources in my senior years. I have to say, as wonderful as it is to finally understand myself, and to know that I'm not broken, just different, I have been experiencing deep grief for a life that could have been easier, if I had known earlier. I'll come back and post after my assessment and let you know how it goes. Thanks again for everything you do! ❤
“A deep grief for a life that could have been easier, if I had known”…. I couldn’t have expressed this any better. I think this is the hardest piece. I just discovered these same things exactly at 50, and share your grief. So grateful to not feel like I am the only one for once in my life 🌹
@@tiffanygodwin368 I can totally relate. I feel so alone in all of this. I know there are many, right now, who are going through the same thing, and that does help. I just wish it was easier, in my day to day life. Take good care of yourself during this big transition time. ❤
Thank you. Everyone needs to see this before people they name call others as 'snowflake', 'way too sensitive','hormonal', 'emotional', 'crybaby', 'childish', 'immature', without knowing what they're going through.
I suspect that the people who call people snowflakes often don't care.
Don’t hold your breath.
Don't forget "highstrung"
A couple of months ago I was looking for someone who could evaluate me for BPD... until your videos comparing fawning and masking in autism led me fully down the am-I-autistic rabbit hole. Now I'm in the process of getting an evaluation from the Embrace Autism group. Thank you Kim and all the other curious and compassionate youtubers who helped me to this point!
BPD was repurposed circa 1980.... I was there as one of my instructors developed the concept to eliminate xx chromasome persons from autism. There must be reason but, i never knew what.
They tried to pin the BPD diagnosis on me, but I don't have many of the main traits, like the deep feelings fear of abandonment, or the narcissism. But I DO have emotional outbursts, so I'm thinking that's why. I think because I'm a woman, they just slapped that diagnosis onto me, because it was easy, and they treat us like we're stupid. It's infuriating. Your channel is ALWAYS brimming with great information ❤❤❤ I really appreciate your work here.
I would just like to kindly point out that Narcissistic PD is a separate diagnosis to Borderline PD - of course someone may have comorbidities or traits of either, and they both come under Cluster B "Dramatic/ Erratic" in the DSM, but they each have separate symptomology.
Aside from that, I'm happy you found out what was going on for you x
This makes so much sense. I got a diagnosis of trauma related ptsd 20 yrs ago, then an autism diagnosis 2 yrs back. We have been searching for what exactly could have been traumatising enough to cause the ptsd. We couldn't find much that would account for the depth of the problems. As I have problems with energy levels, I'm now being "helped" by a therapist who wants me to find what situations and activities give me energy. Yesterday I realised that the activities I have listed are ALL coping strategies and fallbacks into dissociation.
I felt emotionally neglected my whole childhood, but never abused. School really sucked as I was intellectually ahead of most of the others most of the time, but got pushed back by teachers and the industrial agenda of schooling (not education).
I have been burnt out several times during my lifetime, and now I see it. I have been shutting down the whole time and have grown comfortable inside the dysfunction and dissociation, fleeing life altogether.
Something that clicked with me was when someone in a video I was watching said something to the effect of "the trauma belongs to the person, not to the event." Something could be traumatic for you that other people would not think of as traumatic. You weren't getting the support you needed because of your autism, and, for you, that was traumatic.
“Fleeing life altogether”. Yes, that’s it. Inside I’m somewhere else.
@@marthamurphy7940 So accurate. Thankfully, the definition of trauma is changing. Seeing that it is individual, it also give the individual the power to heal. It is not what happened that caused the trauma, but how they couldn't integrate and heal the experience when it happened. ❤
@@ThisisPam I've always understood life to be this great thing with so much potential, BUT you need to have the key to unlock it. In other words, life is like a wild beast, and you need to be properly equipped to tame it, which I just am not. My only actual problem is needing to make a living. When I am not working, life is pretty good, plenty of entertainment, walks in the forest, podcasts, videos of adventure on TH-cam. Every time I've contemplated ending it, it *always* had to do with money, work or beign required to be somewhere around people I didn't want to be around.
I saw the "shrink" for only 20 minutes and he knew right away I had autism. I never tried to hide it - but from my viewpoint I had always thought I was acting "normal". But from the viewpoint of other people it was like I had a huge target on my back (but I didn't know that).. But I was never diagnosed as a kid as back in the 80s they never was looking for it + my family never went to doctors. So there was no opportunity to see anyone. But only 20 minutes and that "shrink" knew! I didn't even know what autism was. I just thought for unknown reasons - maybe bad luck - I was "weird" and didn't fit in and had 0 friends + was bullied. Didn't know there was something called autism to explain it. I am in my 50s now and I was diagnosed at 48.
Thanks for this series on autism in women. It's been super helpful & has been part of my own journey. I am a 53 year old woman who has CPTSD and was just diagnosed with ADHD & Autism. I have answers & more support now. ❤❤❤
It was only a couple of years ago, at age 51, I figured out I'm AuDHD - not 'crazy' as I've always been presented to be. Being 'crazy' just makes it so much easier for narcs and monkeys to scapegoat you for life! But recently, I've been trying to figure out - how was I recognized as being 'different' from birth when I didn't 'look different'? And my answer was - behavior.
Now, my story is slightly different; at nine, the school insisted I (a little girl) be tested to find out 'what the hell was wrong with me' after I beat up a bully who put his hands on me. Since this was back in 1979 I ended up diagnosed with 'one or more behavioral disorders not otherwise specified' and showed 'superior intelligence' (gifted). They had no idea what that meant/what to do with me, so I was told, "Start using that big brain you're so proud of showing off, to act right in school. Control your emotions and stop overreacting to things. If you don't, we'll find a way to do it for you.". And that was it. That was all the 'help' I ever got. And a lot of narcs/monkeys are probably shocked/surprised I'm still here. I know they hate that I'm still refusing to 'act right' and do what they want me to do.
My conclusion - if you are/were anything outside of 'normal' - as in capable/willing to play by their rules/standards for your assigned role in life - you cause 'problems' for them, and that's what gets you tagged. Nobody cares if life is a problem for you, so long as you are not a problem for them as a result of your 'difficulties'.
I'm a 53 yr old probably autistic woman. My life has always been a struggle - I thought that was what everyone felt! Thank you - want to say more but have to go - maybe later x
The grief of knowing that, for your entire life of nearly 60 years, you’ve been valiantly trying to be someone your brain makes it physically impossible to be is very painful, profound and debilitating.
Decades of thinking you’re a horse, not the zebra who you actually are;
Decades of desperately trying to do all the horse things that you’re expected to do by the horse-ruled world , and failing miserably;
Decades of not knowing why you fail miserably all the time, no matter what you do, because you don’t see that you act any differently from the horses;
Decades of the pain of rejection, and bullying, and abuse, by so many horses, in nearly every part of your life, because they know you’re not horse, even though you don’t
Decades of the ‘experts’ who did know you’re not horse but didn’t tell you, because they didn’t think ‘labels’ are helpful.
So much immobilising sadness and grief.
I hear you. Also living with cat. Humans hurt.
@@TrueSelf1111 they sure do. They lead to so much pain.
I was diagnosed at 58 after a lifetime of being told that I just needed to try harder. Of trying to understand what others already knew and took for granted. Of feeling different and lacking. And the debilitating loneliness that resulted. You are not alone. ❤🦓🦓🦓
I did the test you pinned and scored 33…. I know I invested a lot of my early years training in sales… I went back to upgrade at 30 and finished my BA in Psychology with a minor in Religion to better understand human behaviour and what motivates us - tried to get over my fear of human interaction!
I appreciate everything I’m learning here Dr Kim - thank you 🙏💕🤗
Six years ago, at 55 y.o., my AQ test was 42. Ever since, I've been researching and reflecting on my traits. The nuances are important. Autistic women want depth and not superficiality. Isolation happens for me due to that very thing among other reasons
Thanks for posting informational videos 😊
As an autistic woman, I personally think that most of the differences between “male” and “female” autism comes down to the way boys and girls are socialized, from birth until adulthood. We are expected to adjust ourselves to the environment and not make waves or break conformity…. including adjusting ourselves to men’s behavior. Men are allowed to just EXIST
Absolutely. I have zero interest in participating in autism support groups that include men, because the core of the education/history, focus is male gender centric. We’re all indoctrinated in our own ways to society’s unnatural preference for the male existence. Not helpful and is harmful to women. Thankful that there are resources emerging for women. Thank you Dr. Sage!
Nothing is black or white, except black and white.😉My father came from trauma, he was alcoholic and extremely volatile. My mother was unassertive, busy (house chores and whatnot) and needy. I had a lot of energy, I was a little wild and spontaneous. Do you think that as a boy I was just allowed to exist and that my father was okay with kids being kids? Be a feminist if you will, but be a feminist with *nuance*
I used to wonder about this too as a child, but now as an adult and raising children myself, my conclusion is that expectations and socialisation norms are only a small part of the difference. It's a biological fact that girls' brains are 'wired' differently to boys' brains due to the influence of male or female hormones since even before birth. Girls are generally better at communication, and female friendships allow for a lot of imitation, so girls manage to mask their difficulties much more easily. It's both a blessing and a curse, but it's always better to be thankful for the advantages! 😉
I just want to say that I just recently discovered your channel and I feel very seen. Also I love your aesthetic it makes me really happy☺️
Me too! The beautiful wallpaper with flowers and birds is so calming, as is the intro and outro music. 🌹
Thank you for bringing this research to light. It IS important to understand the nuances of how Autism affects different people differently. No one would promote a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. The same individual care should be put into treating people with Autism. At the end of the day, we are all individuals; and, need precise care for our healing.
I'm a woman in my 30s and I am pretty certain I am autistic from the research I've done. You've highlighted so many things I can relate to. Thank you for your insight and hard work for sharing this with us. Keep up the good stuff! ❤
I see myself as the female phenotype. I see the presentation of my son as female phenotype, and my daughter more as male phenotype. Of course, this could change, but this is how I see their presentation atm. Complicated, but absolutely beautiful and wonderful. My job as a parent is to find the best way for them to enfold themselve. Doesn‘t mean it‘s any less difficult.
Yes, some people are the opposite.
My friend got diagnosed with ADHD lately and she is just over 40. She sounds so much like you, and she had always thought she was (only) autististic. This topic is so interesting.
My sister and I currently in the eye of the storm with our BPD mother. I’m also recently diagnosed adhd and suspected autism (sister too). I just wanted to thank you for your content. It has been extremely valuable to us ❤️
Female presenting male seeking an autism diagnosis checking in … my opinion is that everything that presents depends on the social pressures we are forced to endure while learning to navigate the world … It was at an early age I learned to internalize rather than externalize else I would be punished … as such I have a special interest in psychology because I needed to understand how people think to then be able to navigate the world without internalizing everything including other peoples BS.
Thank you Dr this is fascinating information 🙏🏽😊
Rigidity struggle after having to loose my home. Couldn't get Lawyers to protect my sensitivity. Stuck age 45 to 63 alone & misunderstood.
All this reinforces the perspective that so-called high-functioning autism is not a disorder but rather what Dabrowski identified as super-sensitivity-with its ultra-high capacity for both trauma and self-actualization.
Thank you for sharing this! I am literally going through the second most devistating moment in my life and have NOT be coping well. Happening upon your comment, the phrase "ultra-high capacity for both trauma and self-actualization" perfectly described a concept I've been trying to articulate concerning the Autistic mind. So, I googled "Dabrowski" and stumbled upon an article summerizing Positive Disintigration and Overexcitabled. I don't think I've ever literally had my jaw drop before, but it did.
@@hurricanerae ❣️that’s how I initially reacted. Glad it found you
Best video I’ve seen on this topic and everything you’re saying tracks with my clinical and personal experience as an autistic trauma therapist
Highly recommend the book “is this autism?” If you haven’t read it yet. It’s written for clinicians but in a very accessible way, lots of quotes from the lived experience of autistic people
I really find this content helpful. Over the past couple of years, I have been realizing that my mom, my daughter, and I probably all have it. It has been very eye opening, and it explains so much about why we are the way we are.
Such a wonderful well-informed piece! I have wondered about all this for so long both as a teacher and a woman. My dad called me an 'anomaly'. I was happy to be myself, to teach art; to work one on one with special needs, etc. Super work! Keep it coming.
This has helped me. I was diagnosed a couple of years ago in my 50's. I've had trouble accepting the diagnosis & have struggled with imposter syndrome, despite recognising that traits were notably present in early childhood, more so than now. I'm a quiet personality, so a lot went (& still does go) under the radar.
Fascinating topic, and I hang on your every word! I love when you keep us updated. The more I listen to you the more I wonder about my own personality/relationship patterns 🤔 Thank you for all the info! Please don't stop 🙏🏻
Thank you so much. This video is really packed with great information. What resonated for me - first of all, mild stressors being PTSD triggers. I had an alcoholic mother, probably also borderline, and possible autism, who yelled 24/7...! Not exactly mild. But still a helpful awareness. "Trying to look normal." Really takes a lot of energy. I've just recently become aware of being "probably autistic," still researching. There's so much that I related to. This feels like a big puzzle piece.
As a very late diagnosed Autistic woman (58), I have found it so freeing! It explains why my entire life was so difficult, especially in my family of origin, and why I have so much trauma!
I wondered since a therapist asked if I was autistic if my traits were from trauma... but I was told that my childhood wasn't traumatic. Some (autistic) traits I've had very young, and I began isolating at a young age which I am told is the reason for my (autistic) traits. I am struggling to differentiate the two.
- When you say special interest: Animals ❤ Fictional Chracters ❤ and Psychology ❤ these are definitely my favorite things.
Who knows you and your body and childhood more than yourself to be able to accurately tell you that your body didn't react with symptoms of trauma?
@@monkiesbanana321 I agree. Nobody really knows the things I don't talk about too. It's unfortunate that people will talk like they know what's going on inside another person.
The love hearts you put at the end are so cute! 😊
Thanks so much. You are helping me get to know myself better. Years of masking (47) growing up with eggshell parents who are probably Autistic also. I appreciate you doing research & sharing 😊
Random, but I love your aesthetic! I love the soft pink, the flowers, and the soft comfy vibes here 😊
When a therapist asks you whether you like to spin wheels .... leave that person to find someone else to get a test
Thank you so much for your videos on this topic. I'm a late-identified autistic woman in my 40's (full disclosure: I'm believed to be autistic by my therapist and a clinical psychologist, but haven't sought official diagnosis yet). 20 years ago, long before I ever thought it was possible I could be autistic, I took the AQ test online completely on a whim and was shocked by how high my score was. I decided to just put it out of my mind. Autism was an extremely stigmatized condition back then, and it was believed that autistic people lacked empathy and were mostly male. That was back when Baron-Cohen's "extreme male brain theory" was one of the prevailing views. That highly gendered perception of autism was completely opposite to the empathetic, feminine woman I felt I was, so it's no wonder I didn't seek an evaluation.
Recently the conversation around autism has changed in our culture, and I feel safe enough to explore the possibility that I'm autistic without my very identity as a woman being called into question. Also, the "double empathy problem" replacing the concept of "empathy deficits" has been so helpful and de-stigmatizing for early-diagnosed autistic boys and men. We've come a long way. I hope that our more nuanced modern understanding of autism, and the concept of neurodiversity in general, will bring about a new level of compassion in society not only for the experiences of autistic people but also for allistics with trauma, learning differences, sensory sensitivities, and any other challenges caused by neurological and information processing differences.
Thank you for great content Dr Sage 💯 I did the test you linked to in the description, and now I can't stop thinking of 1 question I feel I didn't answer correctly 😅 it was about wether I find it hard or easy to complete a survey like this. First of all, I don't think the survey was user friendly. And then in general, when I am to answer a survey question, a mix of scenarios x points of views start spinning in my head, and yes, that makes it difficult to answer a survey for me 🤯
Thank you for this info. I’d really love to pursue a diagnosis but I want it to be with a practitioner who is educated and aware on high masking adult female autism.
thank you, Dr. Kim. My whole life I have wondered what was wrong with me. About 8 years ago, I self diagnosed with Asperger's. I like calling it that. I have struggled in every aspect of my life. My siblings and other relatives basically ignore me as much as possible.
Thank you for getting me to jump off the diving board. I took the AQ test at Embracing Autism and scored a 41. This diagnosis explains so much about the problems I've had in my life. Right now I'm feeling pretty flat. But at least I have a concrete evidence for my recent inability to go to work. I took 4 months off without pay. And my supervisor has hounded me relentlessly until I received my PTSD diagnosis. I'm back at work remotely and I think his plans are to fire me. He insists that I must be present in the building. I have no idea the value of this information in terms of preserving my job. My supervisor deserves to be punished for what he's put me through. My body is falling apart. I hope this diagnosis gives me leverage to fight back. I requested a formal diagnosis from the Embracing Autism team. Thank you for raising my consciousness and providing real tools to get help.
Excellent, excellent video! Thank you so very much. I definitely feel like after over 25 years of trying to treat my depression and anxiety without any success, I really feel like I have autism. I am afraid to have an official diagnosis for fear or mistreatment in many different ways. BUT, finding a treatment plan that actually works to help me function properly would mean EVERYTHING!
This is so good. I so appreciate your work on this. I will be watching this video again because it is so rich in information. Thank you!!! Your work and deep dives have helped me so much! ❤
I'm a male but I think my autism has presented itself more like autism in females. Very interesting video. I was diagnosed in my fifties, and still coming to terms with being autistic. I'm on a waiting list for testing for ADHD, hopefully this summer. All my life I was told I was suffering depression and acute anxiety, and given various drugs to help with those conditions. The drugs never did anything positive for me. All the times I lost my jobs I now know was due to burnout not depression. And all the relationships that never made sense to me. The problem with being diagnosed ASD is that I now know why my life has been such a mess but I don't know how to make it different in the future, so I've turned into a recluse until I can figure out a way to fit into society.
Yes, you are not the only one!
It’s always been a huge struggle to manage the ups and downs of relationship. I just distance and stop the connection. Just too painful and confusing.
hi, Thank you for your wonderful content...have you any opinion on being Agoraphobic in regards to all of the issues you discuss.
Thank you. Your videos are literally saving my sanity and life. I often thought that i have complex trauma and this hyper vigilant trait comes from ut. But my siblings did not react to home life the way i did. What you are saying it makes so much sense. My son is on the autism spectrum. Only now, in my 50's I am realizing that perhaps I am not only highly sensitive but on the spectrum too. Many friends asked me previously that I can not chit chat, i just jump right into important issue. And I i am also in psychology profession. I trylly worked on understanding others and self.
Being immigrant in this country also delayed my understanding of self....
Thank you, thank you for your work❤
Thank you for putting this up. I've suspected Autism in myself for many years, and everything I look up fits 1 of 2 things.... Autism, or Trauma (CPTSD/PTSD) from a severely traumatic childhood, with an extremely narcissistic, alcoholic mom, who abused me terribly.
I am currently trying to get my insurance to cover proper testing, because my therapist believes I have both, Autism/Trauma (from childhood abuse), as do I. However, my family just believes I simply have "BPD", nothing more... Which I don't really fit the symptoms of, but they can't stand the truth that I was severely abused/traumatized, and they want to gaslight me into believing the things my mom did to me, didn't actually happen (however, I know better, as they happened to ME) and they also laugh at me when I have mentioned "Autism", and then make me feel absolutely crazy for suggesting such an "outlandish thing"...
If it was up to them, they would have just slapped the label "BPD" on me and walked away, because its just easier on them to accept, (for some reason)... That way they can disregard the truth of my abuse, and that I actually may have a real reason for why I'm so different from other's, (and always have been), such as Autism, which to them I guess means I'm "mentally unwell" and perhaps "severely damaged" ... At least, thats how I feel to them.
They REALLY want me to be labeled "BPD", because somehow that makes "more sense" (even though the symptoms do not fit) and is somehow more "acceptable" to them, than the possibility of something Trauma based, Autism... Or both.
I'm just very confused, I'm extremely overwhelmed. I'm honestly trying my very best to be an advocate for Victims and Survivors of abuse/narcissistic abuse, like what I endured the majority of my life. I'm trying to help others, I'm trying to make a positive difference for those who feel alone with what they have been through... Meaning abuse etc. Yet, at the same time, I'm also fighting my own battle for a proper diagnosis as to what's wrong with me, while feeling completely alone myself. It's crazy, it's so complicated how this world and people think/function... I just want to make a positive difference, I want to matter...
I was raised by my mom believing that I am a no one, I'm invisible, worthless and stupid. My family treats me like the black sheep, because I'm different. I'm not like them. I'm very emotional, caring, empathetic and very open about my life/story, my thoughts/feelings, and apparently, that makes me weak, crazy, gullible or lacking intelligence.... I don't know, I'm just very different than everyone in my family... I always have been... Always!
Honestly, I know a proper diagnosis won't change anything with them, but I'll at least know that I'm the way I am because of whatever "it" is, and I'll know that I'm not any of those things that my family makes me feel.
Sorry, got off topic a bit... Just wanted to thank you for the video. I'm going to go look at the thing you linked... ❤
Thank you so much for making this content. It's been very enlightening to me. I would be curious to hear your review of the relationship between autism and PMDD.
Thank you so so much for all your research and videos. It is unbelievable how much I have learned from you and how much recognition I feel in everything you say. I can look back now to my youth and see everything in different light. So much understanding now on what happened and explanation what I am going through still every day. I am 32 and I am starting over.
There should be more research, yes. In all locations especially in the USA relating to females vs autistic females (biological women).
As well as social differences, there are key biological differences. Autism has a huge on HPA and vica versa. Groups with different biological profiles deserve their own studies, so diagnosis and treatment can be universal.
Im old & the bullying is way worse now.
Quite a lot of what you say resonates with me. I will look i to this more.
I love your wall paper and flowers 🌸🙏🏼
Fantastic information! I am a therapist and this topic fascinates me.
My sense of justice is triggered so much from my family’s comments on my body. I have twin girls who are nd, every day is a struggle to regulate. I lost a lot of weight from the stress but I was still normal bmi. The women in my fam didn’t offer any empathy. “Whats wrong with you? Why are you so skinny? Kids must suck the life out of you”. I would never talk to someone like that, let alone going through what I’ve gone through.
Wow
1:38 When i was about 12 years old, i remember a stressor happening and i can remember how my mind worked before the event, and after. I was riding bikes with a friend, and an older guy 25 or so told me to get off my bike, as he had a plastic gun, it looked real to me. After that happened, i can remember wanting to be alone a lot. I remember doing certain habits very regularly. Something happened to my mind. I already had ADD, and my alcoholic parent didn't help me with a couple of these fear based circumstances, so i was left to fix it on my own. There were more ptsd cues as years went on, i touched on that because it seems to back up the studies/literature. 😊✨🙏
Yes everything has to be a certain way, my clothes, my food, my house and always trying to hide it because people, often family would mock me for how I was. I thought for many years I was, and when I taught students who were I could relate but also felt like hiding away in training sessions as I felt they were talking about me and might notice, but I always thought as I got by wasn't worried about a diagnosis, I do want one now so at least I can say to my sister and family, this is why i did all the things in life and why i was how i was, you mocked and belittled me even into adulthood, now you need to back off and be more understanding. There is a lot of trauma there also being the family scape goat and I was born premature fairly early for back in the late 70s, I told my functional medical doc about the prematurity and thinking I was autistic and he said there is some data on it being more prevalent in premature babies, I haven't found much on it, would love to know what you think.
Wonderful video. Thank you.
Great information! 👍 ❤
I've read a lot about how autism shows up in women. As early diagnosed man with what was called Asperger's I see almost al lo of those traits in me. For me though the focused on on my slimming and social deficit like eye contact and how to pretend to pay attention and my way of paying attention didn't appear to be paying attention. I learned to mask and hide my autism to avoid physical punishment and bullying. My daughter has a lot my traits too. I think the not only is research focused narrowly on one population I also think they narrowly focused on the aspect they expected to see. Basically researching a stereotype. For young white boys that like trains too much. I've learned more my autistic traits from women on spectrum than I have from specialist in autism.
I hope some day we just drop "male/female autism" and just open up how we think of autism generally. I am a man who is late diagnosed at aged 40. I've got typical "female phenotype" and have presented as such my entire life. I imagine there are many men being missed. Reifying sex specific types of autism will just perpetuate missing out people.
Does "high masking" autism work better, when it needs to be differentiated?
Late diagnosed last year age 43 lost my mum last year to severe ms obvously autism I have heds do you autism ADHD to now son's diagnosed to what are your special interest
This video was phenomenal and very informative. Thank you so much. I tried to answer as honestly as possible and scored a 35. I don't feel like they asked enoufg questions imo
Spot on! My daughter is in the spectrum and it has taken sooo long for the research to address females on the spectrum. Not a fan of the ADOS at all.
My parents are both different types of Narcissists, my mother did the worst harm to me. Her second husband knew she hated me and used this opportunity of me being totally isolated to abuse me at the age of 12 and my siblings kept on abusing me until I ended contact with all of them, 10 years ago. My sister turned my adult children against me who have ended contact with me. I found out two years ago that I have Cpts from narcissistic abuse, ten years ago I found out I'm an HSP, two months ago I understood I'm autistic and my whole life made sense. I was depressed and suicidal until I turned 50, also due to being traumabonded to Narcissistic partners.
I have had some experience with an autistic female psychopath. I then researched autistic females. I was flabbergasted by what I found. I have a section on my website about autism with my findings.
On my father’s side out of 4 siblings I was the only 1 not diagnosed as autistic. My brother I grew up with showed less issues than me apart from being brutal which is get the blame for his behaviour was diagnosed in his 30s. My other siblings who are the same age as my kids since 2yrs.
I’ve been treated like crap my whole life and dismissed by everyone but also had other issues in other areas speech coordination communication memory balance learning.
Too much is relying on parents being present and honest when you have a dysfunctional parent that’s not going to happen. Controlling when you should be protected from them to such a degree they influence a diagnosis in order to silence and protect their own crimes then continue the control/abuse.
DV and not being able to make friends no one believes you silenced.
Medical professionals are the worst. Even when you tell them about DV what happened that medication does nothing they still don’t listen they tell you no such thing ever happened it’s in your head. They continue what the perpetrator had done and false witness to.
This went on for years.
Even when I had diagnosis for PTSD later C-PTSD anxiety depression they said it’s all in my head it’s not real. They took those diagnosis away from me said it’s psychosis that none of it happened that s.Ideation is a delusion.
I was on a. Watch from S. Abuse & trauma that never ended and couldn’t sleep.
They would do the same for trauma attacks and anxiety. Some doctors without evidence tried to say I was bipolar but never showed symptoms just flat like a flat tire that you try to pump up that keeps going back down because you don’t fix it and expect it to work and function the way it’s supposed to.
I just recently went for an initial interview with a psychiatrist (Australia) and they did a series of questions including history. I spoke about some of it including the violence nearly being murdered weapons to the head the kids and what happened to them that my daughter refused to recognise the perpetrator.
Some of what I was live as a kid and my 0 social score lack of family and friends and harm I’ve suffered serious bullying no or very few friends can’t make keep friends.
For the first time in my life this has happened never has any of the others ever done this. They see you 2-5 mins your gone.
He had to tell me repeatedly to f sad low my speech down and was struggling with speaking.
What he say?
Definitely show signs of Autism and depression with anxiety and that that other medication wasn’t working because it won’t as it doesn’t treat PTSD or depression/ anxiety. He said it will never work because I’m in his opinion not showing signs of psychosis.
He thinks the Autism might be mild but that’s just going by what he saw on the DSM-5 not a full spectrum comprehensive test. It’s $5k for the test hear plus another $1.5k (AU) for initial assessment and review each.
Way out of my budget.
I can’t get employment literally everyone hates me I’m an outcast in society even the fringe don’t want me. And my social status means anyone who I might be able to get on with is out of my league.
The gov has made it hear as an adult you can’t be diagnosed unless you have evidence from when you were a child to test for it. Most undiagnosed won’t have that. Self assessment isn’t accepted and people are discouraged from looking up information on the subject or learning anything. You get scolded like a child if you try. Told it’s just a label and it doesn’t matter.
It does when you got no family friends can’t get work, assistance with study and abused socially isolated by society itself like the crap at schools never went away just hidden better and your a damn beacon of shining light to people that want to hurt.
Knowing can help with mitigation that just might help save your life and improve your quality of life.
Sorry this is so long and sorry for any typos I’m on a mobile.
Kim, several months ago you mentioned a call you received from Harvard College. Are you expecting that relationship to go anywhere?
Your work is cutting edge as evidenced by a lack of research being conducted in this country and I would think having you provide counsel to the evolutionary biology and cognitive psychology department at Harvard would be welcome.
Dear Lord every single bit of this happened to me. BPD mother friend problems school problems surgery trauma etc. I am 53. I need an example. Its enough to have made me crazy at times but i had very high teading levels though bad at math and sports. Is this not 20 percent or more of people ? GIVE EXAMPLES
this was so interesting and hit so hard
Omg! I’m starting to make sense of myself to myself.
It is interesting I came across this video because when I asked my to describe my latest seizure to me he said it looked more like autism because of my rocking back and forth during it. I was never diagnosed with autism. Could I possibly have autism and not realize it?
34:08 I will be 50 years old and have always struggled with many if not all, of these issues: ADHD and Autism. Constantly questioning my value because of my struggles. I feel that perimenopause and all the hormone changes just exacerbate the problems even more, hence why we get diagnosed so late. I am in the UK, and I paid 350£ for a diagnosis, and it was so bad; I am hoping to find another professional to have the diagnosis, but now I am afraid as the first experience was just terrible. I also want to go ahead to help my kids; they certainly have traits of both.
Was reading how autistic brains can experience trauma more easily but recover from far easier than NT brains. It was the psychologist that pointed how resilient I was go me looking into. Wonder if there is connection to that how they have found autistic brain 50-75% more synapses that NT brains. Less synaptic pruning as we age. Wonder if that has link to how some autistic people, like myself don't have infantile amnesia. There is the whole PTSD and CPTSD thing. Sure show signs of that but don't feel I have that. Thing is I've always been like that since early as could remember which at early at 6 months. Boy I can tell you stories from babies perspective, that anal thermometer looked huge. But then maybe the was traumatic thing, the anal thermometer at 6 months old. But I did read that autistic people tend to a have a larger amygdala. WE would appear to hyper vigilant due to sensory input issues for the overly sensitive. Shorter life spans of Autistic people, have that increase stress response all our lives. Lots interesting theories and studies on this. Lots non peer reviewed stuff too that is garbage.
where is that wallpaper from ?
What do you nean by internal conditions
What is that beautiful music at the beginning? This is a great episode.
I think it's gymnopodie 1 by Satie
I've heard in several videos now how women can't keep relationships going if they're autistic. They have socializing difficulties. I was hoping to figure out how we're different in this video but you talk about more of the clinical side of things and don't really explain things in depth. I don't mean to sound insulting but I really wanted addressed. What traits do women have that caused them to lose friendships. I found that it's difficult to find someone that wants to be friends with me but I easily lose those friendships if I can acquire them. I want to know what I'm doing wrong. Why do non-autistic people several relationships with women who are autistic? I don't want to hear basically just the surface material of we don't seem to be able to keep friendships. I want to hear why. And not the answer that were autistic and we have more difficulty keeping a relationship. I want to hear what we do differently and what we do wrong.
I am nonbinary and also late diagnosed. Just want to say I feel you've been incredibly respectful in this video and I appreciate it! I feel like my take away is- perhaps it's gender related but I shall view this as society's expectations of gender norms ultimately shaping this issue. But I also don't wish to invalidate women in saying this! Either way I do think it seems the DSM's current understanding of ASD is lacking.
I agree. I may not identify as a woman, but I was certainly socialized to be one. Socialization plays a large role in shaping us as people - and therefore how our autistic characteristics peek through. A big thank you to Dr. S for including us and not being dismissive.
Clinician here (who is also curious about autism being a piece of my puzzle)- Have you found any trainings to be particularly valuable, or do you otherwise have any recommendations?
Hello, I would like to get evaluated for ASD. Can you provide some referrals for assessment in California. I would appreciate it very much.
You can try embrace autism, which Kim mentions in the video, they do virtual evaluations
Thank you
There are even some different genes believed to be related to autism in men and women (and some are the same as well).
Highly comorbid with heds fybromyalgia ive found out late causation from autism
So about the male vs female autism...
I am AMAB (assigned male at birth) I never really felt like a male or female when I compare myself to other people that live that gender and are fine with it. I would call myself genderqueer, male presenting. Autigender is fine, Trans is fine too, non binary would be fine as well. I am now 40 and I am in the process of getting a diagnosis, and I too found myself in what is referred to as "female autism". And yes, because I did not present in a "typical male autism" way I wasn't diagnosed or suspected sooner. But I think it could have been pretty obvious if people had a more accurate understanding of what autism can look like in a nonbinary genderqueer male presenting child.
So the goal should be to identify autism. fullstop. And I think this whole male / female differentiation is not useful to achieve that. In fact, I think we are making the same mistake again that we already made. We are opening up traits and link it to a diagnosis that has nothing to do with that diagnosis. Namely gender. I have heard of so many AMAB people that identify heavily with "female autism" that you have to ask yourself what good is this rule if you have so many exceptions. These are all people you set yourself up to miss in the future if you set the rule up this way.
It also seems to answer a nature nurture question with autism. If the prefrontal cortex of the brain is different then this is probably a nature cause. If you look at two brains you can't tell which genitals they managed. But you can probably tell if the prefrontal cortex looks different. You can't tell if they wore pink or blue baby rompers, you can't tell if they were taken to a car race or a arts and crafts store. So the nurture part comes into lived experience of autism because social experiences are different, and the challenges will be different. So in an autism diagnosis we look mainly for symptoms. People aren't socially different because they are born this way but because its how they are trying to cope. And "female autism" versus "male autism" I think mainly describes two "different" ways of coping. But the source is the same. In a society where people are forced heavily into gender roles the coping strategies are more different. Because a trainset is more acceptable in males than in females. But in a society where gender roles are more diverse and not that strict the male female differentiation wouldn't make a lot of sense for any symptom that is related to social behaviour. The only difference I am willing to admit is somewhat hormonal (and even that can be miniscule depending on the individual) and things related to biological sex. But that are areas that aren't that important to a diagnosis or for the lived experience.
So my point is, calling it the X-autism only makes sense if there is a significant difference to be observed and if there is a benefit to make that difference. Asperger Autism for example did not have that much benefit as a diagnoses when compared to support level. So what is the benefit of calling it "male" or "female" autism other than selling product that is pink and blue colour coded. Probably none. And if you have higher numbers of trans identities in people diagnosed with autism than why would you even want to make this about gender. and if you did, where is the "trans autism". I think we can just say: this is a representation of autism and it can be in any gender. Because if you put on your gender glasses you are only going to miss people. If you put on your trait glasses then you will probably be more accurate.
Dr. Sage, what do you mean repetitive behavior?? Are these behavior patterns seen throughout a lifetime?..Could these repetitive behaviors result in “burn out” periods throughout a lifetime in a high masking (undiagnosed) individuals? If so or not, can you please give me another example of what this might look like? Thanks in advance Kim!
I watched the video a second time and answered my question… Yep, sure can.
I have 2 daughter with this.
I can NEVER make eyecontact 😭
Lesezeichen 17:19
Have you ever heard of the BJ Investigates Channel? I thought you, were her, when I first heard you speak. She is also on the spectrum. I swear you sound and speak alike. I find that very interesting.
Oh god, I need help and there is none 😫
I clicked on this video in hopes to hear identifying female autistic characteristics. I wanted to hear how females are different. And all I heard was that they are different. I'm very frustrated. Please explain how they are different rather than just saying that studies are finding that they are different. It doesn't tell me anything and doesn't tell me how to identify whether or not I'm autistic. So looking at the title of your video I thought I was going to actually hear identifying characteristics of female autism. 😭. Very stressed and frustrated.
I I know my daughter tried to diagnose me with borderline when she went to school for psychology. But I didn't exactly meet the criteria when I looked into it myself. Then I brought the things that didn't make sense up to my daughter and she admitted that it didn't really seem like I did have borderline personality disorder.
However, since I am a layman and older I don't remember what those identifying traits were. So in addition to what I said, maybe some explanation to what things are when you bring them up such as borderline personality disorder.
So far listening to this video is frustrating because it's kind of like looking up the definition of a word, and receiving the word as the answer to the definition but nothing to actually learn what the word is. This is not an actual example but is only being said in hopes that you will understand. I look up the word redwood and the answer is in relation to being a redwood. Me? 😳. It's kind of what you're doing. Identifying female artistics. We learned that people have more difficulty identifying autistic women because the internalized it. Okay, but what are the traits that identify a female autistic person? 😳. What traits in borderline personality disorder make people think that autistic women are borderline? Explain the traits of terms that don't say anything really unless you're a psychologist that knows these things.
This is a really interesting video, but I think it should be split up into several parts. It has too many concepts rolled into it and needs a focus. I was diagnosed last year at age 75 after viewing a lot of adult autism videos on TH-cam. My autistic challenges are mainly social. I had attributed a lot of my social struggles to several things my mother had said and done during my childhood that stuck with me and shaped my behavior over the years -- all related to friendships and belonging in one way or another. Those things were traumatic to me, although they might seem unimportant to other people, even to my therapist. What I see now is that they were the exact opposite of the kinds of social supports we would typically offer to autistic children in present times. Society is now challenged with dealing with adult autistic people, women as well as men. I don't feel resentful about it -- it's simply a new frontier for science and society. Incidentally, my mother was intensely focused in her later years on her own psychology and self-understanding. Although she diagnosed herself as BPD, I think she was probably autistic.
You .look beautiful with your hair back!
I hope no one is offended by this, but I can tell by someone’s eyes if they are on the spectrum.
I am also, undiagnosed, but very much aware.
Dayumn, you're 50?!?! No way!