tbh, it is kind of admirable thats the standard rslash holds himself as a man, a husband and a father edit: good lord people im not saying the husband should starve and die, are you dense? i originally meant "god, rslash would be willing to go hungry so his wife and baby could eat, thats the kind of standard he holds over other parents, men and husbands" and you guys somehow spun it into "husband should starve lol" again, are you dense?
@@rezausmani5494 do you know how to read or what? what 'i love waffles - oh so you hate pancakes????' kind of deal you got going on here? I meant that rslash made the dad an asshole because he himself would look out more for his pregnant wife instead of himself, if you even watched the video, pregnant women can loose their teeth because the baby will take the calcium illiteracy at its finest
That last story. The least transphobe thing to say 💀. “I’m not into men. I think we should break up.” “HOW DARE-“ He even still offered to pay for their testosterone!!! They are supportive for even doing that!
TRUE! I am a trans man and like this is the LEAST transphobic thing I have ever heard. He's literally just saying he's not gay so he doesn't want to date a man. That is gender affirming if anything like dawg 😭🙏
I think this guy is just struggling with his abusive parents and family and lashed out because, naturally, if OP isn’t gay then he can’t be in the relationship. Losing that must sting so couple with the unsupportive and twisted family, yeah, I’m not surprised he lashed out :(
The food story is really troubling. NAH because they are both just hungry and trying to survive, but at the same time ESH because how are they going to raise a kid when it’s born if they can’t even afford to eat more than once a day?
They need to apply for WIC (The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children), it will cover most if not all of what she and the baby needs. WIC provides at no cost: Healthy foods like, milk, cheese, yogurt, cereal, whole grains (bread, tortillas, brown rice, & pasta), juice, eggs, peanut butter, beans, fruits, and vegetables.
@jennix8666 WIC will only give you food items or such when you have kids that age to be eating those things. WIC will provide a limited supply of formula for a baby under like 6 months. EBT would allow then to buy food without a child yet. Either way, while she's at home not working, she should be looking into these things. If they cant afford meals for themselves, they're never going to afford this child. They're already being neglectful
@@journeehyde9128 The WIC food packages provide supplemental foods designed to address the specific nutritional needs of income-eligible pregnant, breastfeeding, and non-breastfeeding postpartum individuals, infants, and children up to five years of age who are at nutritional risk. So yes they will provide those things for her while pregnant because it's for WOMEN, Infants and children
@@journeehyde9128 in the state of Pennsylvania, WIC provides formula for infants under i think 12mo? as well as a limited amount of very specific, HEALTHY foods. milk, fruit, veggies, meat, applesauce, bran/rice cereals, etc.
I’m flabbergasted that the man who works all day and gets half a meal is at a 2.5 rating Yelling instead of a sit down convo was a dick move, but while he’s at work all day, she could at least put a token effort into looking for food banks or food stamps. Even if it’s just recon so he knows where to go grab the food from on his way home from work, just contentedly leaving her man with barely any food is wild
Its just how society feels about men, I guess. The only value in being a man is in how much you provide. Your life isn't worth anything as far as some people are concerned. Its sad af.
@@emmetlover206 I imagine it’s that paternal instinct to protect the wife and kid given he’s still a “new” dad. I can’t understand the unending protection despite nuances, like this story Different people do be having different views, so can’t hold him to my standards of course, sad to see that guy get crapped on though
I agree. And even though this is a less important detail in comparison, it makes it a little worse that she starts picking on his plate before even touching hers. People have been missing that detail. If she really can't get a part time job, then the least she can do is what you said above.
I’m trans FTM, and a straight man breaking up with his trans partner specifically because he doesn’t like men is NOT transphobia. If you can’t force someone to be straight, you can’t force someone to be gay either.
I kinda get the trans guy though. He’s not right at all, don’t get me wrong, but as a trans dude myself I remember saying dumb shit like that especially at the start of my transition just because yk…being trans is hard. He’s not right but I can empathize with him. Hope he can see more clearly soon too.
As a trans woman myself, I agree that's not transphobic at all. 1. Attraction isn't something that can be forced. If a guy isn't attracted to other guys we shouldn't expect him to be in a relationship with a man. 2. OP validates his gender and even offered to support his ex financially regarding HRT if needed. Calling transphobia on this is a low blow and kind of a red flag to me.
The wife DOES need to eat. But so does op. Like, they both only have one meal a day, so if she's eating part of his meal, he's only getting half a meal a day. They honestly just shouldn't be having a baby.
Agree with your last sentence. But the baby can suffer lifelong consequences of malnutrition in the womb, so in this case I think the mother should eat more. The baby does not deserve to be disabled, the adults chose all this.
Exactly. Maybe they live somewhere they can't get an abortion and a mistake happen. But come on. If you can barely take care of yourselves. You shouldn't be having children.
R/slash, the pregnant wife story is ESH at best. They shouldn’t be having a kid to begin with but OP does need to eat too. In the UK we have food banks to help people who can’t afford groceries/food; OP should look into that…
OPs unemployed girlfriend should be. While he's working, she can easily apply for assistance online or over the phone and go to the food bank. Why is everything falling on OPs shoulders when HE is the ONLY ONE working?
@@journeehyde9128 According to the profile of the OP, she is still employed but is either on leave or part time due to pregnancy. She's 7 months along, so far off canceling the pregnancy.
@@journeehyde9128 I remember one time I was working 60 hours a week for farm wages, and most of my paycheck was going in the gas tank. I was down to two meals a day, and I was losing weight I didn't have to lose. So I swallowed my pride, applied for food stamps- and was told that I made $26 a month too much to get any help whatsoever. If you're on welfare, and you get a job, they punish you by cutting your benefits.
story 4: ..my brother in CHRIST. OP NEEDS FOOD TOO??? are you expecting him to starve to death just because the wife is pregnant? i understand that pregnant ladies absolutely need to eat, but so does everyone else to survive? op's nta imo
Yeah, and the framing that the husband is failing because they don't have enough food???? Relationships are a cooperative effort. Both parties are responsible.
For me he is but not for that. He's the AH, but so is the wife. Both of them SVCK. That's virtually the worst context to have a child. That's like a Victorian family of 7 wanting to expend.
No bro they both need food but she needs it more... he isn't saying she should eat off his plate, he's saying that the baby is literally going to steel the calcium out of the mom's teeth if she doesn't get to eat more... Maybe mom need's to look into food pantries etc also there is a program called wic that provides milk to children and mothers, I believe mothers can get on wic before the baby is born at least our neighbor back when i was a kid did....
@BigBadWolfParty Shit also just happens. They could have gotten pregnant and then came into some extreme financial difficulties. Accidents can also happen, it wouldn't be the first BC or condom baby.
They can’t afford themselves!! Let alone the child!!! Even if the child doesn’t starve in the womb, the kid could get taken away for having insufficient nutrition, and indeed anything else they can’t afford for them. Their priorities are all messed up.
Last story: not only are they validating their identity, OP isn’t abandoning him. He’s still willing to pay for everything out of support, which is way more than he needs to. And I bet they’re not gonna stop taking that generosity either.
Story 4: These people need to discover their local food pantry and check into social service programs. Like what's their plan when this baby is born and they already cannot afford to feed themselves.
It depends on their location. Where I live there are no services like that, especially if you're both able body working adults. You're on your own if you're struggling 🤷
Food is no assholes. They BOTH need more than one meal a day and hunger can easily override any rational, nonemotional response. They need help and that's neither one's fault. If OP doesn't eat then he starves if she doesn't eat then she starves. A soup kitchen, food stamps, friend/family support, they just need some kind of aid
Story about the pregnant wife stealing food: don't get me wrong Rslash, the wife definitely needs to eat, but so does that guy, especially since he is working long. Giving the guy a butthole score just seems off. I would give neither of them a butthole score but suggest that they look for help or cut down on some expenses if possible
Pregnant wife stealing food story: Oh, so screw the husband then? Screw him even thoygh he has to work all day without food (most likely the only reason they have food in the first place), only to arrive to his house and have his only meal for the day taken away? I understand if you'd say that OP should find help (food stamps, for example) in order to sustain his family, and I also understand that a pregnant woman will need more nutrients, but damn... It shouldn't be at the cost of the husband starving himself. I mean, haven't you thought that for all we know the wife by default is getting a bigger portion already because of the pregnancy (which upon checking, she is), and then taking whatever OP has? I mean, dude, she even *reached for his plate first before even touching her own* !
As for the FTM story I'm on OP's side because just because OP isn't gay doesn't mean he's transphobic. Just shows how fragile the partners feelings are because OP isn't interested in dating them due to preference.
@@lorilancaster5917 I mean, if OP were transphobic he definitely wouldn't pay for the hormone treatment, even before the breakup, so I don't know what OP's partner's been smoking. Also, you'd think a transphobe would threaten to dump him if he ever got bottom surgery, or something. Not the gradual, amicable break up OP proposed.
As someone who got broken up with for the same reason: I understand the boyfriend's perspective in a way. It hurts to be broken up with over something you can't control whatsoever... BUT accusing your ex of being transphobic is wild, especially since OP is still offering to pay for the T supplements. Hell I was 13 when it happened and even I didn't think my ex was transphobic lmao. I hope the bf has a smooth transition and gets ahold of his emotions. I see how the situation might've messed him up to the point of irrational accusations.
This might be controversial, but for the 4th story about food, I think everyone kinda sucks. If you're having such a hard time financially that you can only have 1 meal a day, then why the hell are you having a kid? It seems so wildly irresponsible.
They may not have been poor when they got pregnant. Lots of things could’ve happened to put them in their current situation. Falling on financial hardship during the pregnancy. Abortion not being legal where they are, and not having the money to travel to get one where it is. Not knowing they were expecting until after the legal cutoff for abortion. The wife having unexpected, potentially expensive medical issues as a result of pregnancy which keep her from working, thus cutting down their income significantly. All it takes is one setback for things to become really bad.
Yeah like people pointed out, like a lot can happen and its completely possible that someone might do fine one way day and the next everything just comes crashing down in this unpredictable mess of a world we live in. Also that's even assuming that they were even expecting in the first place as after all accidental pregnancies aren't that unheard of
14:44 okay, Rslash, I straight up disagree with you on this one. While yes, pregnant & breastfeeding women do need more food, & while they’re struggling, the problem here is that she’s taking OPs food before she could even eat her own food, if it were the case where she already ate her food & then wanted some more & OP refused to share, then yeah that’s an AH move, but the fact that she’s taking food from OP before he could even eat is more rude than anything. &, what, is OP just supposed to starve here as well? He could at least eat some food before sharing the rest with his wife.
Men aren’t people in Dabneys mind. Also at this point I’m pretty sure he failed English comprehension and isn’t well read because he ALWAYS seems to forget important details. He legit just said this man should starve and die because pregnant needs food.
I was looking for this, Its such a bad take and I really struggle to understand why OP starving beacuse his wife needs food is somehow the best option in Dabneys mind????
She's pregnant and there isn't enough food to go around for both of them. The health of the future child and mother ought to be prioritised. This scenario is really bad.
@OneEyeShadow and it was by him having her eat the bigger portion. YOU CAN NOT EXPECT THE MAN TO STARVE. This entire situation is on the wife. If she's nor working and they are from the US then there is WIC, Foodstamps, and food pantries. Those 3 things will get them both fed.
The 2nd story have an update. The background story is that she is jealous about OP and only want a baby girl, not a boy. Now she is taking care of the baby (with aid from MIL), albeit very reluctantly.
And the husband wasn't aware at all of the name she had chosen, and doesn't agree with her. So they went with something else. She's a hot mess. Good luck to that new father.
Hoping the boyfriend can see how good of a friend OP is eventually. It might be second puberty causing him stress. Nothing says they can’t still be very close friends.
Story 4: If we are looking at medical recommendations a pregnant woman needs to eat about 500-800 calories more per day than the roughly 2000 she would have to eat when not pregnant. The amount of calories that a man needs to eat per day is around 2500-3000. OP explains in the edit that Rslash didn't read that, while he only has his portion at dinner, the wife has the bigger portion of food divided through the day. Now assuming that these people are having their recommended caloric intake per day OP is eating his 2500 calories minus whatever the wife takes from his plate, meanwhile the wife has 2500 calories plus say 500 because she has the bigger portion plus whatever she steals from the husband. Conclusion 1: the wife is over eating. Alternatively OP is not getting his recommended amount of food per day because they're financially struggling so he has say 2000 calories minus whatever the wife takes, while the wife has 2000 calories plus 500 because of bigger portion plus what she takes from the husband. Conclusion 2: the wife is having her needed calories while the husband is not having enough. OP is NTA.
I would also like to add that if OP gets too malnourished and starts to get sick because of it, the food shortage is only going to get worse. Like a daily deficit of 500 calories can make you lose between 1/2 and 1 pound per week and this has been going on for the entire 7 months of pregnancy. There are also several cellular functions that get compromised when under eating, like carbohydrates produce energy, proteins are needed for cellular repair and generation, fats maintain nerve health, there are vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that are necessary for not just good health but to stay alive (look up scurvy). On the wife's side overeating can give more leg and back pain, higher risk of gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, higher risk of longer and more painful labor, higher risk of premature delivery, higher chance of fetal malformations and higher risk of stillbirth. Of course everything is variable and differs from person to person and from circumstances and all that I've written so far is basically speculation, but I think it's important to think about it under a more critical lense without jumping to conclusions.
Story 1: It’s funny how Karen kept saying OP was being selfish to the neighborhood and not thinking about the neighborhood children, when one of the first rules was only her family gets to use the pool. It’s really sad that nice people have to stop being nice because of people like her, who always think there owed more than what’s offered, so they ruined that generosity for everyone.
Exactly. He said it ain’t a community pool. If Karen wants a private pool she can have one built and maintained. I bet if he gave her a bill for the maintenance she’d remark it’s not her bill or some bs. Surprised op didn’t over chlorine the pool to teach em a lesson
"Attractive nuisance" is a longstanding common law rule. OP will be liable for damages if he doesn't take good measures to lock out neighborhood louts from his fine swinming hole.
Pregnancy Story: I am personally more on the husband's side. He literally said that this was his only meal that day. I am pretty sure his wife has some snacks lying around. Yeah, I know they said that they were broke to the point of each only having one meal a day. But girl! Leave your man's food alone and find something else to eat. Maybe ask some friends or family for food if you don't have enough for some snacks.
I'm questioning why financially struggling people are even having a child to begin with. If they're struggling to the point they can't feed themselves consistently, maybe they shouldn't have kids?
Yeah a TH-camr I like, The Click, makes the joke about how people need to do an application to have kids, and Jesus I feel like it’s true. My cousin has 7 kids and wanted another until her husband had a heart attack but the rest of the family doesn’t expect that to stop them.
They're dummies, that's why. I can bet 10 bucks the pregnancy wasn't a result of BOTH a condom and (insert contraceptive) failing. Hell, we are even abstaining if we can only afford one meal a day.
The judgement on pregnant wife eating OP's food is awful. OP is not failing as a husband. What backwards thinking is that? They are poor. Both of them. It's sad and concerning. NAH
@ferzinhaN No. When you're struggling, you don't get to be traditional. Wifey is also responsible for the well being of herself and the child, especially the child, and if she can't feed herself or her child enough then she's also failing by that logic. They're both really fucking dumb to be going through this pregnancy because if this baby needs formula, they will NEVER be able to afford it. Formula and diapers and wipes and baby shit in general is going to ruin them. This baby should go up for adoption.
So for the pregnancy one….yes she needs to eat, but why does that mean she gets to eat his food BEFORE TOUCHING HER OWN?? That’s where she lost me. I would be more understanding if she ate hers first and was still hungry because of the 1 meal per day, but to START on his plate?! That’s wild….
Story 3: Isn’t it ironic how the sister claimed OP was the “golden child”, then her parents say OP needs to pay for her sister’s therapy? Gee, wonder if she’s projecting?
Oh well, this is what happens when people only have surface level understanding of psychological terms. It's like how some people everyone they disagree with online is a narcissist.
Story 4: If they're in the US, OP and his wife need to look into food banks and programs like WIC. If they're not, they need to look into whether their country has similar things.
Stuff like bread and peanut butter and rice and beans aren’t that expensive, so there are also ways to food shop on a budget. WIC is a great idea, too. She should talk to her doctor because they probably know what other programs are in their area. The wife may qualify for Medicaid while she’s pregnant, also, and the baby may qualify for Medicaid or CHIP.
@@miniman649 Pretty sure she was like seven months pregnant. Even if she can get an abortion at that point, that's not likely to be an option from an emotional standpoint.
@@kconway2263 Pregnant women need a lot of specific nutrition that she's probably not getting from cheap food. Also, if they're in the US, she's probably better off googling than seeing a doctor. If they can only afford one meal a day, co-pay for a doctor visit is probably unaffordable.
@@ninjabluefyre3815 the issue doesn't appear to be lack of food. There was food there and the wife went straight for his instead. If she needed a bigger portion she should definantly say so before just taking food. Now if op is leaving out info like he isforcing portion control on her that would be different and it should be addressed that way. But right now she has the food and is ignoring it for something else and rslash is ignoring that portion.
Therapy: You already are footing the bill for her meltdown. “If ruining my wedding wasn’t therapeutic enough for her, then we’ve helped her all we can afford.”
That might not have always been the case. They could have had plenty of money, but with one partner working and one not for (an unknown amount of months) Their finances probably drained faster then expected
Pregnancy Story: Sorry RSlash you are objectively wrong here, OP mentioned how she hadn't even TOUCHED her food before reaching over to his plate. YES she's pregnant, but the sounds of it, she it currently isn't working, what happens if OP dosen't eat and then collapses at work? If they can't afford more than one meal how are they going to afford a hospital stay?
RSlash is a misandrist. I agree with most of his takes, but 9 times out of 10, when stories like this pop up, I just skip them because I know no matter what happens, Rslash will find a way to blame the guy instead of even putting both parties at fault. Unless the woman is certifiably insane or doing something illegal, he'll never see a woman as part of the problem in any situation
That's my problem with Rslash. He's wayyy harder on men then women, and often is hypocritical. I remember one story he read where a guy didn't want to see his brother's family because his girlfriend cheated on him with his brother and then later they got married and had a kid. Rslash called OP the butthole because "the niece doesn't deserve that", but then almost the exact same story happened to a women and he said she doesn't have to visit the family as it's her right to decide who she associates with. It grinds my gears sometimes
Here's the thing with the pregnant woman story: Why can't SHE go collect food stamps? Why is it on her husband? What happened to the Then YOU Do It motto?
So you didn't understand the context of the you do it if you thought it applied here. No one put that on just him but apparently you. The overall consensus was they were both irresponsible for being a child into their current situation. He was seen as wrong in the story for simply not realizing basic things like yes a pregnant woman needs more food.
The “Then YOU do it” motto is for people demanding that you take care of someone but not offering help themselves. It doesn’t apply here because OP is obligated to take care of his wife and unborn child. That’s part of being married.
@@marcning918 Hmmm, a bit of word salad here, but I think I get the gist of it: 1. My response is to R/Slash's evaluation. This is the first time I've encountered this post on any platform, let alone Reddit. 2. The OP did acknowledge that women need more food when they're pregnant; R/Slash even read that part out. Unless the wife is bedridden, she should be able to go search for aid in food security; she should not compel her husband to live on half a meal a day.
Thank you! I know Rslash is always going to favor pregnant woman and kids but it seems like the wife can be doing a lot more about their situation and isn’t. Don’t be blaming Op for all that.
I'd get a lockable pool cover as well, fences and gates can be hopped or broken, but cameras, a locked gate and a locked pool cover show they don't have permission, or write a letter explicitly saying they don't have permission recorded post it to them with a copy your self, 'forget' to lock the gate for a bit and wait for her to throw another pool party when your out and send in the police for trespassing
Wtf, how is the husband the AH in the pregnant wife story??? He could also die if he doesnt get anything to eat because his wofe is hogging literally all the food. OP is out there working to pay for everything, but hes not entitled to literally not starve? And why tf would it be the working partners responsibikity to hit food pantries and soup kitchens? Wife should be doing that! I am disgusted by your response to that post.
Yeah, how is the husband supposed to have enough energy to work if he doesn't eat? They'd have no income at all, and they'd both starve. Sure, growing a person takes a lot, but we don't even know what OP does for work. If he's doing manual labour, that takes a lot too. Sorry, but being pregnant doesn't give you carte blanche to ignore the needs of others. Not to mention, she starts eating his food before hers and says she can't help it because she's hungry. Try eating your plate first maybe? I love how reddit and Rslash both just assume that husbands are indentured servants to their wives and get no privacy, no opinion, and definitely no support. Screw the man who is supplying the only income, he can starve and work himself to death, she needs to feel comfortable.
It's R Slash's bias at work like always it's also the fact that he's never had to be on 1 meal a day like some people have to be to make ends meet it happens the fact that OP stated that his wife gets a bigger portion of food than he does and that he works all day means that he is doing everything he can to provide
@@willwallinger5932 exactly, god that's infuriating. I worked two jobs while pregnant, so i dont want to hear excuses about why pregnant people apparently cant do anything but leech its nonsense
The last one makes me so mad. As a FTM, op's ex does NOT understand that things are now changing. He's a different person now, and op has every right to leave that relationship because he's not interested in men. Op is also SUPER generous to offer to pay for his testosterone even though they aren't together anymore. Op's ex is just so entitled it drives me bonkers
Agreed. The sister accused OP of being the Golden Child - sis was half correct. There is definitely a Golden Child in that family, but it's definitely NOT OP.
Tbh I think both are the AH, this is no enviroment for a child. But yeah, I agree with Dabney. The baby needs all the nutrients or it will have lifelong issues. And the baby is innocent in this and should not suffer.
And as others have pointed it out...if you're struggling financially, WHY ON GODS GREEN EARTH have a baby? That's a massive ESH as both are massively irresponsible...
Food story: Dabney isn't wrong. The edit mentions that yes, while OPs wife does get to eat a little bit more than OP, it's still not enough to be the minimal recommemded amount for a pregnant woman. She is starving herself when she should be eating more than normal. This is incredibly dangerous for her AND the Baby, What she is doing isn't just "Pregnancy cravings", it's her body going into survival mode due to eating so little Dabney is also right in suggesting that they should find Food Banks, stamps, pantries etc. He's had a history of being misandric and has had bad takes when it comes to gender related situations. This wasn't one of them. It's not a gender thing, it's a health thing
Last story: Transmasc here. I can understand why the bf might be upset (especially if his family isn’t all that supportive), but calling OP a transphobe is just unreasonable and manipulative. If anything, it’s really sweet that OP’s offering to help with treatment; he just doesn’t like other guys. If you’re not gay, you’re not gay.
For the last story OP is definitely NTA. Just like that comment said, he’s validating and showing he accepts the identity of his boyfriend and sees him as male. Breaking up sucks, but this is just something you have to accept as a trans person. I’m also FtM, and if someone doesn’t wanna date me because they’re not gay, then oh well. I actually had something like this happen, had interest in a friend of mine, but he’s straight so he shot me down politely. Because he saw me as a dude and respected my identity and isn’t into guys. It’s not transphobic. OP can’t force himself to be gay. He accepts his boyfriend for who he is, he supports and cares for him, and is even paying for his treatment. Dude is like the nicest freaking guy about finding out, because a lot of people get upset about it. OP, your boyfriend (hopefully soon to be EX) is being selfish and I think a little manipulative. Because calling you transphobic for not wanting to date a guy is messed up. And I have a feeling his goal is to guilt you into staying with him by using being trans as a shield. Which isn’t okay.
Story 4: So, let me get this straight... The wife is extra hungry because of pregnancy, which is understandable, and picks at the OP's plate of food. Presumably, they can not make larger portions because they're really tight on money, and as a result, they're only eating once per day. This leads to the OP getting upset because he's not getting enough food. They can't afford to feed themselves enough each day... *And they're trying to bring a child into the world? **_That is remarkably irresponsible to do._* If you can't afford to feed yourself, you can't afford to feed a child. You also can't afford the medical expenses or clothing for the baby. This is a clear ESH scenario. I don't know where the OP lives, so the outlook on things is uncertain. If they can, an abortion may be the best route. If they can't get an abortion, they could try putting the child up for adoption... And if neither of those work out, I sincerely hope for that child that they can get financial support. Please, please do not have intimate relations without understanding the gravity of what you could set into motion. No protection is perfect, and if you can't afford to raise a child or abort a pregnancy, then you should seriously consider whether or not it's worth the gamble. Don't bring another life into this world that will only struggle just because _you want_ a kid.
Story 3: I don't think she understands what "Golden Child" means. She's basically jealous that OP is successful and she, while drunk out of her mind, just wrecked everything. OP shouldn't pay that bill
Story 2: I actually just heard the story earlier this morning. There’s an update to it, to make a long story short SIL and BIL hadn’t settled on the name when she pulled that crap. SIL wanted a girl and was very disappointed to find out. It was a boy, the reason they didn’t know the gender was so SIL could just believe they were having a girl went out being upset during the pregnancy. So when she stole the name Dad had no input on it, he started arguing the second they were out of the room. The baby left the hospital with the name, but he does have one now. SIL stop caring because she was so disappointed in having a boy that dad named the child by himself. I can’t remember, but I know it’s not the one she tried to steal. Also all this information from MIL has been helping them take care of the kid, SIL hasn’t said anything to OP or husband since the visit.
Thank you! I enjoy hearing the updates and appreciate you took the time to post this one. I was thinking during the reading that the SIL sounds like a narcissist (in the clinical sense). The fact that she doesn't care about the baby because he is 'the wrong gender' adds data to the conclusion.
Story 2:Imagine trying to steal somebody’s baby name. What’s the point? I don’t understand why people do this when there are millions of names to pick.
To be a B word. Just to hurt the other person or make them mad. That's all there is to it. The names we've chosen for future children mean a lot to us because they're after late relatives that we each loved very much. If someone deliberately stole those names from us in order to be jerk they would suffer my wrath.
On the first story: I sold pool supplies and did maintenance for a few years. This woman's kids probably pee in the pool. This adds phosphates to the water. Phosphate what algae thrive on. So this woman just taking this guys pool as if it's hers and then making him to all the work is another level to that story.
Ok for the last story he’s not a transphobe, he’s being respectful and supportive. He’s recognizing that his partner is now a dude and he isn’t into dudes while paying for T. We need to be mindful who we call transphobes because there are actual people trying to end our lives and take our rights
As a fellow FTM friend i agree with the NTA score for the last post. He's not being homophobic or transphobic, he just knows his sexuality and dating a man is not that.
with story 1, i'm surprised more people aren't talking about how some of OP's neighbors are trying to get OP to cater to the karen in order to avoid "drama" thats just so stupid, giving karen's what they want when its unreasonable just makes them worse! also, i bet those neighbors would be on OP's side if karen was using their pools!
The story where the prego wife is taking her husband’s food… if they are so poor they both can only afford to eat one meal a day maybe they shouldn’t be having babies. Both are the a hole
Story 3: the parents aren’t mad at sis? She basically called them terrible parents in front of the large crowd and they focus on squeezing their other child to help her? Like wow, that woman must be blind than a bat if she can’t tell that she’s actually the golden child. That turned into the golden pathetic man baby, that thinks OP needs to be sorry for living her best life. And the parents will still show blatant favoritism despite everything.
Rslash, did you really just suggest someone eat no food at all and that they are an asshole for wanting to eat? They need a food bank, not being called an asshole for getting hungry. They need to not be having a kid.
Pool safety in general is not discussed enough so I'm not surprised that some areas have laws about creating fencing. While it doesn't happen often, kids, pets, and people under the influence drown in pools without safety barriers quite a bit. Even if people using a pool know how to swim, it's always best if someone is there, I've seen accidents where someone hits their head either slipping or doing a dive wrong and if there wasn't another party nearby it could've ended badly.
The thing about the golden child story is, if OP was really the golden child the parents would NOT ask her to pay for her sister's therapy, straight up. Sounds like she was just used to being in the spotlight and that her sister having one day about herself threw her over the edge.
Story 4: He isn't "only giving his wife one meal a day," they're both *barely getting by* and only have enough money for one meal per day. This isn't a situation to call anyone an asshole, this is a situation where they both need help. This isn't a matter of sides (though, frankly, telling the man who's working hard to keep them housed and fed that he's wrong for wanting one whole meal is messed up), this is a matter of "You're in the wrong part of the internet, you need to be looking up food banks and other ways to get more food."
R/slash forgets that it takes two to tango. If they can only afford one meal a day each, then why did this couple get pregnant? The wife is already failing as a mother. She's also an AH.
Last one: So people aren't allowed to have preferences anymore? Nah. OP started out dating a woman. His partner is no longer identifying as a woman. It's loosely like a contract in a way -- you change your gender, decide you're now strictly poly, cover your face in tats, join a cult, pull out a niche kink you can't live without, or otherwise fundamentally change from the person your partner thought you were? Then you've invalidated the original "contract" of dating you started with. Time to part ways if you can't agree on the changes. OP is EXTREMELY generous to keep paying. Partner is being a nasty brat and honestly doesn't deserve his support anymore.
I just wanted to say before you get too much comment, that I always look forward to your videos every morning shift at my job and makes my mornings so much better
The pregnant wife ignores her portion when stealing from OP. The correct way to go about it is to finish your own food, and ONLY THEN flick on puppy-eyes mode and try to nick more.
There's an update to story 2! Turns out that Jess lied about the baby name because she was really, really, really, praying for a girl. Her MIL was the only girl, had only 3 boys, and wanted to have a gorl to bond with her. She was very jealous of OP because of how their life differs: jess and her husband were on/off and he gave her a shut up ring, had a court wedding, and live in a small apartment, while OP and her husband dated, engaged, married with a big wedding, bought a house, and got pregnant right away, all within a few years. Since Jess has a boy, she felt let down. Her husband was pissed when she said Sebastian Ali and changed it to Jordan Ali instead (he's definitely a sports guy). Now Jess probably has PPD (i don't remember if OP stated it) but it seems like she doesn't want her son because he wasn't the gender she wanted. However, the grandma/MIL and Jess can somewhat bknd over the fact that the men they chose can't produce the XY chromosomes. OP isn't gonna confess to Jess about her plan, but only if ask about it, just not now. Also, that i hardly doubt she eill because then Jess will have to admit to snooping for the names.
I have a friend who has a FTM son and when he had a woman’s body he dated a lesbian. When he transitioned his girlfriend broke up with him. My friend was confused why she didn’t stay together with her son. If they were together before then she should love him for who he is as a person. I tried to explain that that is what sexuality is about. You prefer something and you can’t change it. If she was pansexual or bi then maybe she could still love the son but she is a lesbian and don’t want to be together with a man.
Second story i dont know why the sister would even say shes an AH. Sebastian Ali is still a nice name, its not like she tried to trick her into naming the baby like Poopy Pants or something. 😂 The SIL clearly wanted her to name the baby, she was just more than happy to oblige.
As someone's FtM trans myself, I can say OP isn't an AH. Heck, he's respecting his bf's gender identity by seeing him as a guy, not a girl, and because OP isn't into men, then breaking is logical. Also, OP willing paying for this dude's T is wild?! OP gets zero out of five, and OP's bf gets 2 out of five, in my opinion.
TBH if OP is working Foodstamps won't help. I tried applying when I was brought down to 8 working hours a week. They said I was inelligable since I didn't work 20, but if I was working 20 hr a week they would only give me $20 a month
Story 1: Get in touch with the police about this. It's deranged behavior that will only escalate. And yeah, OP IS treating Karen like a criminal because trespassing on someone else's property and using their stuff without permission is criminal behavior.
12:20 NO! NO NO NO A THOUSAND F%&$ING TIMES NO! It falls under the PARENT'S responsibility to provide for the child not the sibling, parentalizing children regardless of age is abuse. And this phrase has been said on this channel ad nauseum, "if it's so important that she need therapy, THEN WHY DON'T YOOOUUU DEW IT!!"
That last story is so ridiculously stupid. The trans man said the boyfriend was transphobic because he isn’t gay, but I’d be willing to bet that the trans man wants to be considered just as much a man as a biological man. If that’s the case, then why expect a straight man to continue dating you as a man? I just can’t fathom the thinking in this crap.
Story 4: everyone sucks, OP needs food too BECAUSE HE'S HUMAN, WE DO THIS FUNNY THING WHEN WE DONT HAVE FOOD FOR WEEKS CALLED STARVE TO DEATH, RSLASH OP CAN'T PROVIDE IF HES DEAD, so op isn't wrong for bringing this up, what hes wrong for is not finding a solution, ops wife is also wrong for taking her husbands only meal instead of asking him to find a solution to get more food, and they both equally suck for bringing a life into a home when they can't even survive in it
Pregnant wife story: kind of a hot take there, rslash. While yes, the wife does need more food, she is already being given a larger portion than her husband. He still needs energy to work, and should he go to work starving, then that opens up the door for a whole other list of problems. God forbid he gets injured or sick on the job due to not eating, then who will provide the income? It’s a lose-lose situation.
Holy crap that last story. I am Trans. The first thing I thought was 'well yeah they should break up cause one person isn't gay. That simple' The I wanted to throttle the trans person. How is that Transphobic! They literally validated your whole ass identity. Now you are not respecting their actual sexuality? Yo! Learn what words mean and just not be in a relationship for a while. Damn, some trans people make us look freaking unhinged.
Story 3: being pregnant isn’t an excuse to keep stealing OP’s food, he gotta eat too. R/ I get you’re thinking about the well-being of the child and the pregnant woman, but you’re just flat out wrong here. It’s not like he’s preventing her from ever eating, he just wants to be able to have food too. I agree if it’s that bad, they need to look in some kind of aid to help bring more food, if not for them then for the child, they will have to financially support. But still.
If she is not working then she could be applying for government assistance or connecting with local orgs which can help. She can at the least call people while pregnant.
Pregnancy story: You best believe I am not having sex if I can, at a bare minimum, afford one meal a day. If that situation finds us after marriage, WE are using all kinds of contraceptives. Hell, abstaining is also on the table if we have to.
Pregnancy story: In the defense of the wife, you completely skipped over the part where she took from his plate before even touching hers. If she finished her plate and asked for more, I could understand, but taking from his immediately? No. He needs to eat too to be able to do his job to support the baby. What happens if he loses his job because he doesn’t have the energy to carry on? Then they really won’t be able to afford food.
Rslash, while I agree the wife needs to eat because she's pregnant, OP needs to eat too. He won't be able to provide for them if he's starving to death for very long. They BOTH need tk eat, she just needs to eat more. I would recommend they look into government support such as food stamps and WIC (if in the USA, if not, then their local equivalent) as well as food banks. They are starving themselves and it's not healthy
You missed the Baby Name story update!! The sister left the husband and baby. She never wanted a boy. The husband hated the name Sebastian, and the sister just blurted it out in the moment without ever consulting him. He changed the named to Jordan Ali.
Last story pissed me off - transphobe how??? He's literally validating his BF's identity. He's also respecting his own preferences. I get that there are emotions and breaking up hurts, but don't pull the phobia card when OP is literally supporting him.
Let's not forget that the pregnant wife is an adult. There's nothing stopping her from signing up for some kind of welfare. No one can do that for her. She has to do it herself. Eating most of the food of the one who goes out to work every day only ensures that he won't have the energy to work every day.
So the husband just shouldn't eat? I'd argue that they shouldn't have kept the pregnancy if they can't afford things for just themselves. That's a really crappy thing to do to a kid.
11:58 I went to a wedding, where the father of the bride was a super alcoholic, but everybody knew he was an alcoholic so they had at least three different people who’s only job at the wedding was to watch him make sure he didn’t drink, but also that he didn’t cause a scene. It was an amazing wedding. It was so beautiful and he didn’t do anything because somebody was always with him. The bride and out she was pregnant after the vows and I do everybody was happy and partying. It was a gorgeous vineyard. There was no problems at all! If you know somebody has an issue, make sure that somebody else is watching them at your wedding so it’s not your responsibility!!
Story 4: Oh come off it RSlash, OP has to eat too. Not like the wife doesn't have her own food and yet she always goes for his food first? That's just being mean and really at the end of the day if they can only afford to eat one meal a day then why the hell are they having a kid in the first place? Depending on whose idea it was to have a kid in the first place either this is all on the wife or ESH cause they are trying for kids whilst in financial strife.
Pregnancy food story: there's got to be more to the story, how do two people who are working not have enough money for food? indebt?, living beyond their means?, etc. Also the husband deciding to photosynthesise for the next 9 months or more is not a viable option unless the mother has plans to be a single parent.
Story 4: Rslash with yet another hot and wrong take. While clearly they do need to find some kind of help for the food insecurity, OP still needs to eat if he's seemingly the only one working at the moment. Presumably because wife is at home, with basic household up keep, which shouldn't be the equivalent of a full time job, assuming that they don't live like slobs.
Last story, both my current partner and I had to do the exact same as the person in the story. My ex is a MTF and his ex is an FTM. Neither of us are gay. It was a difficult experience for both of us but you can’t change how you’re made
Which country? Just curiosity. Mine has regarding self-defense that you have to answer with equal force, otherwise you are getting sued. As in if someone tries to strangle you but you stab them in self-defense, you are at fault.
@@e.vasileva5891 Belgium, I believe it is due to a law forbidden you to harm ppl. And then it’d be your fault cause it happened on your property lol. So backwards
HE is not failing as a husband. THEY are failing as parents. It's just as much her responsibility as it is his that she eats
tbh, it is kind of admirable thats the standard rslash holds himself as a man, a husband and a father
edit: good lord people im not saying the husband should starve and die, are you dense?
i originally meant "god, rslash would be willing to go hungry so his wife and baby could eat, thats the kind of standard he holds over other parents, men and husbands" and you guys somehow spun it into "husband should starve lol"
again, are you dense?
@@brunnrunnnothing admirable about starving yourself and leaving your kid without a dad. Its ego driven and shameful
@@brunnrunnWhat
@@rezausmani5494 do you know how to read or what? what 'i love waffles - oh so you hate pancakes????' kind of deal you got going on here?
I meant that rslash made the dad an asshole because he himself would look out more for his pregnant wife instead of himself, if you even watched the video, pregnant women can loose their teeth because the baby will take the calcium
illiteracy at its finest
@@brunnrunnRSlash would give a husband a 5/5 score for not curing his wife’s cancer.
That last story. The least transphobe thing to say 💀. “I’m not into men. I think we should break up.” “HOW DARE-“ He even still offered to pay for their testosterone!!! They are supportive for even doing that!
What? Let me wait for that story to play out
@@whatbear3804what’s you’re thoughts now lol
Yeah fr 😭
TRUE! I am a trans man and like this is the LEAST transphobic thing I have ever heard. He's literally just saying he's not gay so he doesn't want to date a man. That is gender affirming if anything like dawg 😭🙏
I think this guy is just struggling with his abusive parents and family and lashed out because, naturally, if OP isn’t gay then he can’t be in the relationship. Losing that must sting so couple with the unsupportive and twisted family, yeah, I’m not surprised he lashed out :(
The food story is really troubling. NAH because they are both just hungry and trying to survive, but at the same time ESH because how are they going to raise a kid when it’s born if they can’t even afford to eat more than once a day?
They need to apply for WIC (The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children), it will cover most if not all of what she and the baby needs. WIC provides at no cost: Healthy foods like, milk, cheese, yogurt, cereal, whole grains (bread, tortillas, brown rice, & pasta), juice, eggs, peanut butter, beans, fruits, and vegetables.
@jennix8666 WIC will only give you food items or such when you have kids that age to be eating those things. WIC will provide a limited supply of formula for a baby under like 6 months.
EBT would allow then to buy food without a child yet.
Either way, while she's at home not working, she should be looking into these things.
If they cant afford meals for themselves, they're never going to afford this child. They're already being neglectful
@@journeehyde9128 The WIC food packages provide supplemental foods designed to address the specific nutritional needs of income-eligible pregnant, breastfeeding, and non-breastfeeding postpartum individuals, infants, and children up to five years of age who are at nutritional risk. So yes they will provide those things for her while pregnant because it's for WOMEN, Infants and children
@@journeehyde9128 in the state of Pennsylvania, WIC provides formula for infants under i think 12mo? as well as a limited amount of very specific, HEALTHY foods. milk, fruit, veggies, meat, applesauce, bran/rice cereals, etc.
Can we please stop pushing the agenda that people shouldn't be trying for children if they're poor.
I’m flabbergasted that the man who works all day and gets half a meal is at a 2.5 rating
Yelling instead of a sit down convo was a dick move, but while he’s at work all day, she could at least put a token effort into looking for food banks or food stamps. Even if it’s just recon so he knows where to go grab the food from on his way home from work, just contentedly leaving her man with barely any food is wild
Its just how society feels about men, I guess. The only value in being a man is in how much you provide. Your life isn't worth anything as far as some people are concerned. Its sad af.
I've noticed rslash seems to be very harsh on men when it comes to money and gives way too much patience with pregnant women.
@@emmetlover206 I imagine it’s that paternal instinct to protect the wife and kid given he’s still a “new” dad. I can’t understand the unending protection despite nuances, like this story
Different people do be having different views, so can’t hold him to my standards of course, sad to see that guy get crapped on though
@@mysiklp2509 That's true, but he's kinda always been like that for years, crapping on men in particular. He's gotta better, but not great.
I agree. And even though this is a less important detail in comparison, it makes it a little worse that she starts picking on his plate before even touching hers. People have been missing that detail. If she really can't get a part time job, then the least she can do is what you said above.
I’m trans FTM, and a straight man breaking up with his trans partner specifically because he doesn’t like men is NOT transphobia. If you can’t force someone to be straight, you can’t force someone to be gay either.
I kinda get the trans guy though. He’s not right at all, don’t get me wrong, but as a trans dude myself I remember saying dumb shit like that especially at the start of my transition just because yk…being trans is hard. He’s not right but I can empathize with him. Hope he can see more clearly soon too.
If anything, it’s the least transphobic way to break up, because they’re affirming their ex’s gender through the breakup 😭😭
I'm FTM too. I agree, not transphobic.
@@Bluecifur If that was her reaction, then she's going to be another Audrey Hale.
As a trans woman myself, I agree that's not transphobic at all.
1. Attraction isn't something that can be forced. If a guy isn't attracted to other guys we shouldn't expect him to be in a relationship with a man.
2. OP validates his gender and even offered to support his ex financially regarding HRT if needed.
Calling transphobia on this is a low blow and kind of a red flag to me.
The wife DOES need to eat. But so does op. Like, they both only have one meal a day, so if she's eating part of his meal, he's only getting half a meal a day. They honestly just shouldn't be having a baby.
Agree with your last sentence. But the baby can suffer lifelong consequences of malnutrition in the womb, so in this case I think the mother should eat more. The baby does not deserve to be disabled, the adults chose all this.
@@TiaLeara she is eating more. it was mentioned that she gets a bigger portion.
But she still eats in addition of his plate.
Its even mentioned that she eats twice because she gets a bit more than a portion in a day.
@@TiaLeara Did you not notice where OP says she eats HIS food before she even touches HER plate?
@@avashnea Yeah, this is not about being hungry. But they are both aholes for having a child when they can't even afford three meals a day.
Pregnancy story: why are they having a baby if they can only afford to eat once a day?? Did they forget how EXPENSIVE children are?? ESH
Probably about e not even educated enough about birth control, or may belong to o e of those backwards religions that forbid it
Exactly. Maybe they live somewhere they can't get an abortion and a mistake happen. But come on. If you can barely take care of yourselves. You shouldn't be having children.
And have tried to apply for food stamps and any other government assistance?
Exactly. I would be all kinds of contraceptives until we could afford the baby. They're honestly both dummies.
Exactly what I was thinking too. If you can't afford the bare minimum having a kid won't help
R/slash, the pregnant wife story is ESH at best. They shouldn’t be having a kid to begin with but OP does need to eat too. In the UK we have food banks to help people who can’t afford groceries/food; OP should look into that…
OPs unemployed girlfriend should be.
While he's working, she can easily apply for assistance online or over the phone and go to the food bank.
Why is everything falling on OPs shoulders when HE is the ONLY ONE working?
@@journeehyde9128 According to the profile of the OP, she is still employed but is either on leave or part time due to pregnancy. She's 7 months along, so far off canceling the pregnancy.
@@journeehyde9128 I remember one time I was working 60 hours a week for farm wages, and most of my paycheck was going in the gas tank. I was down to two meals a day, and I was losing weight I didn't have to lose. So I swallowed my pride, applied for food stamps- and was told that I made $26 a month too much to get any help whatsoever. If you're on welfare, and you get a job, they punish you by cutting your benefits.
They have those in America too. Just some people think they are above them, its kind of hilarious tbh.
If they're Americans they might not even have a choice in having a kid, some states made it illegal to abort
story 4:
..my brother in CHRIST. OP NEEDS FOOD TOO??? are you expecting him to starve to death just because the wife is pregnant? i understand that pregnant ladies absolutely need to eat, but so does everyone else to survive? op's nta imo
Finally what i was thinking, OP NEEDS TO EAT as well. They need to find a local foodbank tho imo.
@@F.G_7even oh no definitely, especially if it's to the point they can only eat once a day
Yeah, and the framing that the husband is failing because they don't have enough food???? Relationships are a cooperative effort. Both parties are responsible.
For me he is but not for that. He's the AH, but so is the wife. Both of them SVCK. That's virtually the worst context to have a child. That's like a Victorian family of 7 wanting to expend.
No bro they both need food but she needs it more... he isn't saying she should eat off his plate, he's saying that the baby is literally going to steel the calcium out of the mom's teeth if she doesn't get to eat more... Maybe mom need's to look into food pantries etc also there is a program called wic that provides milk to children and mothers, I believe mothers can get on wic before the baby is born at least our neighbor back when i was a kid did....
Story 4: do you know that adults can also die of starvation, right? I really hope that story is fake for everyone's sake
Doubt. This kind of thing happens a lot because people are stupid.
@@BigBadWolfParty It could also be a misplaced pride thing. They should swallow their pride and get some food assistance.
Looks like it could be since the person who posted it both deleted the story and their account.
@BigBadWolfParty Shit also just happens. They could have gotten pregnant and then came into some extreme financial difficulties. Accidents can also happen, it wouldn't be the first BC or condom baby.
@linuxuser4895 yes the women who chose to stop working and is home all day should
As a person who grew up with financially struggling parents, I confidently say ESH. Don't have children if you can't afford it.
They can’t afford themselves!! Let alone the child!!! Even if the child doesn’t starve in the womb, the kid could get taken away for having insufficient nutrition, and indeed anything else they can’t afford for them. Their priorities are all messed up.
Last story: not only are they validating their identity, OP isn’t abandoning him. He’s still willing to pay for everything out of support, which is way more than he needs to. And I bet they’re not gonna stop taking that generosity either.
I also see the ex blasting OP which leads to OP discontinuing his gratitude and maybe even filing a cease and desist.
Story 4: These people need to discover their local food pantry and check into social service programs. Like what's their plan when this baby is born and they already cannot afford to feed themselves.
It depends on their location. Where I live there are no services like that, especially if you're both able body working adults. You're on your own if you're struggling 🤷
Food is no assholes. They BOTH need more than one meal a day and hunger can easily override any rational, nonemotional response. They need help and that's neither one's fault. If OP doesn't eat then he starves if she doesn't eat then she starves. A soup kitchen, food stamps, friend/family support, they just need some kind of aid
nah it's ESH
true but they're too dull to recognise that
nope, they're both the AH. they're choosing to have a baby they can't properly provide for.
Feel like everyones the ass there, because if they're already struggling then WHY have a kid?
@@blaze129 the bigger problem is they shouldn't ideally have a kid because they are too st upid not because they can't feed themselves
Story about the pregnant wife stealing food: don't get me wrong Rslash, the wife definitely needs to eat, but so does that guy, especially since he is working long. Giving the guy a butthole score just seems off. I would give neither of them a butthole score but suggest that they look for help or cut down on some expenses if possible
Pregnant wife stealing food story: Oh, so screw the husband then? Screw him even thoygh he has to work all day without food (most likely the only reason they have food in the first place), only to arrive to his house and have his only meal for the day taken away?
I understand if you'd say that OP should find help (food stamps, for example) in order to sustain his family, and I also understand that a pregnant woman will need more nutrients, but damn... It shouldn't be at the cost of the husband starving himself.
I mean, haven't you thought that for all we know the wife by default is getting a bigger portion already because of the pregnancy (which upon checking, she is), and then taking whatever OP has? I mean, dude, she even *reached for his plate first before even touching her own* !
As for the FTM story I'm on OP's side because just because OP isn't gay doesn't mean he's transphobic. Just shows how fragile the partners feelings are because OP isn't interested in dating them due to preference.
And the fact that OP is still willing to pay for the hormone treatment even though they broke up further proves OP isn’t transphobic.
I mean I’m not shocked
@@lorilancaster5917 I mean, if OP were transphobic he definitely wouldn't pay for the hormone treatment, even before the breakup, so I don't know what OP's partner's been smoking. Also, you'd think a transphobe would threaten to dump him if he ever got bottom surgery, or something. Not the gradual, amicable break up OP proposed.
As someone who got broken up with for the same reason: I understand the boyfriend's perspective in a way. It hurts to be broken up with over something you can't control whatsoever... BUT accusing your ex of being transphobic is wild, especially since OP is still offering to pay for the T supplements. Hell I was 13 when it happened and even I didn't think my ex was transphobic lmao.
I hope the bf has a smooth transition and gets ahold of his emotions. I see how the situation might've messed him up to the point of irrational accusations.
If that was her reaction, then she's going to be another Audrey Hale.
This might be controversial, but for the 4th story about food, I think everyone kinda sucks. If you're having such a hard time financially that you can only have 1 meal a day, then why the hell are you having a kid? It seems so wildly irresponsible.
maybe they became poor after conceiving.
They may not have been poor when they got pregnant. Lots of things could’ve happened to put them in their current situation.
Falling on financial hardship during the pregnancy.
Abortion not being legal where they are, and not having the money to travel to get one where it is.
Not knowing they were expecting until after the legal cutoff for abortion.
The wife having unexpected, potentially expensive medical issues as a result of pregnancy which keep her from working, thus cutting down their income significantly.
All it takes is one setback for things to become really bad.
Yeah like people pointed out, like a lot can happen and its completely possible that someone might do fine one way day and the next everything just comes crashing down in this unpredictable mess of a world we live in. Also that's even assuming that they were even expecting in the first place as after all accidental pregnancies aren't that unheard of
14:44 okay, Rslash, I straight up disagree with you on this one. While yes, pregnant & breastfeeding women do need more food, & while they’re struggling, the problem here is that she’s taking OPs food before she could even eat her own food, if it were the case where she already ate her food & then wanted some more & OP refused to share, then yeah that’s an AH move, but the fact that she’s taking food from OP before he could even eat is more rude than anything. &, what, is OP just supposed to starve here as well? He could at least eat some food before sharing the rest with his wife.
Men aren’t people in Dabneys mind. Also at this point I’m pretty sure he failed English comprehension and isn’t well read because he ALWAYS seems to forget important details. He legit just said this man should starve and die because pregnant needs food.
I was looking for this, Its such a bad take and I really struggle to understand why OP starving beacuse his wife needs food is somehow the best option in Dabneys mind????
She's pregnant and there isn't enough food to go around for both of them. The health of the future child and mother ought to be prioritised. This scenario is really bad.
@OneEyeShadow and it was by him having her eat the bigger portion. YOU CAN NOT EXPECT THE MAN TO STARVE. This entire situation is on the wife. If she's nor working and they are from the US then there is WIC, Foodstamps, and food pantries. Those 3 things will get them both fed.
@OneEyeShadow if he is too starved to work then it would be worse for both the wife and child.
The 2nd story have an update. The background story is that she is jealous about OP and only want a baby girl, not a boy. Now she is taking care of the baby (with aid from MIL), albeit very reluctantly.
And the husband wasn't aware at all of the name she had chosen, and doesn't agree with her. So they went with something else.
She's a hot mess. Good luck to that new father.
I foresee therapy in both SIL and baby’s future
This is why I wish R/Slash would add the updates.
@@sarahgreiner2694He’s said before that he records these weeks in advance, so the updates were likely posted after recording.
@@rosexknightthen he should record them later
As a trans person, NTA, he's also a hell of a good friend by paying for hormones
Hoping the boyfriend can see how good of a friend OP is eventually. It might be second puberty causing him stress. Nothing says they can’t still be very close friends.
The fact that he used He/Him pronouns and constantly referred to him as his boyfriend is so proving to him not being transphobic
"I'm becoming a man"
"Ok, I don't like men, let's split up"
"Whaaaaaat?"
@@madmattman5675What an incel. XD
Being trans is ok, being gay is ok. No problem with either. Just like being only into cyst women is okay too. That op is definitely NTA
Story 4: If we are looking at medical recommendations a pregnant woman needs to eat about 500-800 calories more per day than the roughly 2000 she would have to eat when not pregnant. The amount of calories that a man needs to eat per day is around 2500-3000. OP explains in the edit that Rslash didn't read that, while he only has his portion at dinner, the wife has the bigger portion of food divided through the day. Now assuming that these people are having their recommended caloric intake per day OP is eating his 2500 calories minus whatever the wife takes from his plate, meanwhile the wife has 2500 calories plus say 500 because she has the bigger portion plus whatever she steals from the husband.
Conclusion 1: the wife is over eating.
Alternatively OP is not getting his recommended amount of food per day because they're financially struggling so he has say 2000 calories minus whatever the wife takes, while the wife has 2000 calories plus 500 because of bigger portion plus what she takes from the husband.
Conclusion 2: the wife is having her needed calories while the husband is not having enough.
OP is NTA.
I would also like to add that if OP gets too malnourished and starts to get sick because of it, the food shortage is only going to get worse. Like a daily deficit of 500 calories can make you lose between 1/2 and 1 pound per week and this has been going on for the entire 7 months of pregnancy. There are also several cellular functions that get compromised when under eating, like carbohydrates produce energy, proteins are needed for cellular repair and generation, fats maintain nerve health, there are vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that are necessary for not just good health but to stay alive (look up scurvy).
On the wife's side overeating can give more leg and back pain, higher risk of gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, higher risk of longer and more painful labor, higher risk of premature delivery, higher chance of fetal malformations and higher risk of stillbirth.
Of course everything is variable and differs from person to person and from circumstances and all that I've written so far is basically speculation, but I think it's important to think about it under a more critical lense without jumping to conclusions.
Story 1: It’s funny how Karen kept saying OP was being selfish to the neighborhood and not thinking about the neighborhood children, when one of the first rules was only her family gets to use the pool. It’s really sad that nice people have to stop being nice because of people like her, who always think there owed more than what’s offered, so they ruined that generosity for everyone.
OP was too nice in that he didn’t call the cops when he came home to an unauthorized pool party. Screw the Karen neighbor!
Exactly. He said it ain’t a community pool. If Karen wants a private pool she can have one built and maintained. I bet if he gave her a bill for the maintenance she’d remark it’s not her bill or some bs.
Surprised op didn’t over chlorine the pool to teach em a lesson
"Attractive nuisance" is a longstanding common law rule. OP will be liable for damages if he doesn't take good measures to lock out neighborhood louts from his fine swinming hole.
Pregnancy Story: I am personally more on the husband's side. He literally said that this was his only meal that day. I am pretty sure his wife has some snacks lying around.
Yeah, I know they said that they were broke to the point of each only having one meal a day. But girl! Leave your man's food alone and find something else to eat. Maybe ask some friends or family for food if you don't have enough for some snacks.
Rslash is a misandrist who preaches gender equality but also says OP is "failing as a man".
Rslash will use any ideology to simp for women.
I'm questioning why financially struggling people are even having a child to begin with. If they're struggling to the point they can't feed themselves consistently, maybe they shouldn't have kids?
accidents happen and getting rid of accidents is expensive
@@PrettyBoyWynnless expensive than raising a child
Yeah a TH-camr I like, The Click, makes the joke about how people need to do an application to have kids, and Jesus I feel like it’s true. My cousin has 7 kids and wanted another until her husband had a heart attack but the rest of the family doesn’t expect that to stop them.
@@karmencarmen1720 it’s also incredibly difficult to have an abortion after the overturn of roe v wade. You can’t “just get an abortion” anymore.
They're dummies, that's why. I can bet 10 bucks the pregnancy wasn't a result of BOTH a condom and (insert contraceptive) failing.
Hell, we are even abstaining if we can only afford one meal a day.
The judgement on pregnant wife eating OP's food is awful.
OP is not failing as a husband. What backwards thinking is that? They are poor. Both of them. It's sad and concerning. NAH
OP is trying their best to feed everyone but no one seems to care
Well, he's supposed to be a provider and he's failing miserably.
@ferzinhaN Ohhh so its that societal bs that does nothing but cause problems...
@ferzinhaN No. When you're struggling, you don't get to be traditional.
Wifey is also responsible for the well being of herself and the child, especially the child, and if she can't feed herself or her child enough then she's also failing by that logic.
They're both really fucking dumb to be going through this pregnancy because if this baby needs formula, they will NEVER be able to afford it. Formula and diapers and wipes and baby shit in general is going to ruin them.
This baby should go up for adoption.
@@ferzinhaN If we wanna go back to the middle age standards, then the wife needs to shut up and obey her husband. It goes both ways.
So for the pregnancy one….yes she needs to eat, but why does that mean she gets to eat his food BEFORE TOUCHING HER OWN?? That’s where she lost me. I would be more understanding if she ate hers first and was still hungry because of the 1 meal per day, but to START on his plate?! That’s wild….
Story 3: Isn’t it ironic how the sister claimed OP was the “golden child”, then her parents say OP needs to pay for her sister’s therapy?
Gee, wonder if she’s projecting?
Oh well, this is what happens when people only have surface level understanding of psychological terms. It's like how some people everyone they disagree with online is a narcissist.
Like an IMAX screen
@@lorilancaster5917 I’m gonna have to use that one.
And if the parents are so concerned about the daughter then they can pay for her
@@lorilancaster5917 oh wow, thats a clever!
Story 4: If they're in the US, OP and his wife need to look into food banks and programs like WIC.
If they're not, they need to look into whether their country has similar things.
Stuff like bread and peanut butter and rice and beans aren’t that expensive, so there are also ways to food shop on a budget. WIC is a great idea, too. She should talk to her doctor because they probably know what other programs are in their area. The wife may qualify for Medicaid while she’s pregnant, also, and the baby may qualify for Medicaid or CHIP.
they need to look into abortion.
They can barely feed themself, no way they can safely raise a kid properly. They are gonna be terrible parents.
@@miniman649 Pretty sure she was like seven months pregnant.
Even if she can get an abortion at that point, that's not likely to be an option from an emotional standpoint.
@@kconway2263 Pregnant women need a lot of specific nutrition that she's probably not getting from cheap food.
Also, if they're in the US, she's probably better off googling than seeing a doctor. If they can only afford one meal a day, co-pay for a doctor visit is probably unaffordable.
@@lostshadows768 then they need to look into adoption.
That kid deserves better than these two waste-buckets of parents.
So op is supposed to starve I assume?
Yep.
Have you ever heard of a wish sandwich?
It's where you have two slices of bread and WISH you had some meat!
@@ninjabluefyre3815 the issue doesn't appear to be lack of food. There was food there and the wife went straight for his instead. If she needed a bigger portion she should definantly say so before just taking food. Now if op is leaving out info like he isforcing portion control on her that would be different and it should be addressed that way. But right now she has the food and is ignoring it for something else and rslash is ignoring that portion.
@@Torqegood what does any of that have to do with a wish sandwich
@@Aurosteel i think they pressed on ninjabluefyres post and then replied to the coment that ninja was also replying to by accident
Therapy: You already are footing the bill for her meltdown. “If ruining my wedding wasn’t therapeutic enough for her, then we’ve helped her all we can afford.”
Why the hell are you having a kid if you can’t even afford food
Probably because it wasn't planned and abortion isn't on the table.
That might not have always been the case. They could have had plenty of money, but with one partner working and one not for (an unknown amount of months)
Their finances probably drained faster then expected
Story 1: Obviously NTAH just because somebody says you can go use their stuff occasionally doesn’t grant you full permission to rule over it.
Pregnancy Story: Sorry RSlash you are objectively wrong here, OP mentioned how she hadn't even TOUCHED her food before reaching over to his plate. YES she's pregnant, but the sounds of it, she it currently isn't working, what happens if OP dosen't eat and then collapses at work? If they can't afford more than one meal how are they going to afford a hospital stay?
RSlash is a misandrist. I agree with most of his takes, but 9 times out of 10, when stories like this pop up, I just skip them because I know no matter what happens, Rslash will find a way to blame the guy instead of even putting both parties at fault. Unless the woman is certifiably insane or doing something illegal, he'll never see a woman as part of the problem in any situation
That's my problem with Rslash. He's wayyy harder on men then women, and often is hypocritical. I remember one story he read where a guy didn't want to see his brother's family because his girlfriend cheated on him with his brother and then later they got married and had a kid. Rslash called OP the butthole because "the niece doesn't deserve that", but then almost the exact same story happened to a women and he said she doesn't have to visit the family as it's her right to decide who she associates with. It grinds my gears sometimes
@@RenniganEagle ''misandrist'' yea ok. i understand he is in the wrong but that's not a thing either
@@iam878 You mean misandry is not a thing or that RSlash is not? He is often biased towards ladies.
@@iam878so being a sexist toward men isn't real?
OK. Would you like to go educate yourself then come back and try again?
9:08 I would said " OH I LOVE THAT NAME!! I was actually going to pick it but we chose a different name, BUT ITS SO FITTING!!"
Here's the thing with the pregnant woman story: Why can't SHE go collect food stamps? Why is it on her husband? What happened to the Then YOU Do It motto?
So you didn't understand the context of the you do it if you thought it applied here. No one put that on just him but apparently you. The overall consensus was they were both irresponsible for being a child into their current situation. He was seen as wrong in the story for simply not realizing basic things like yes a pregnant woman needs more food.
The “Then YOU do it” motto is for people demanding that you take care of someone but not offering help themselves. It doesn’t apply here because OP is obligated to take care of his wife and unborn child. That’s part of being married.
@@marcning918 Hmmm, a bit of word salad here, but I think I get the gist of it:
1. My response is to R/Slash's evaluation. This is the first time I've encountered this post on any platform, let alone Reddit.
2. The OP did acknowledge that women need more food when they're pregnant; R/Slash even read that part out.
Unless the wife is bedridden, she should be able to go search for aid in food security; she should not compel her husband to live on half a meal a day.
@@marcning918 But if she already gets the bigger portion no need to swipe OP’s.
Thank you! I know Rslash is always going to favor pregnant woman and kids but it seems like the wife can be doing a lot more about their situation and isn’t. Don’t be blaming Op for all that.
I'd get a lockable pool cover as well, fences and gates can be hopped or broken, but cameras, a locked gate and a locked pool cover show they don't have permission, or write a letter explicitly saying they don't have permission recorded post it to them with a copy your self, 'forget' to lock the gate for a bit and wait for her to throw another pool party when your out and send in the police for trespassing
Wtf, how is the husband the AH in the pregnant wife story??? He could also die if he doesnt get anything to eat because his wofe is hogging literally all the food. OP is out there working to pay for everything, but hes not entitled to literally not starve? And why tf would it be the working partners responsibikity to hit food pantries and soup kitchens? Wife should be doing that! I am disgusted by your response to that post.
Yeah, how is the husband supposed to have enough energy to work if he doesn't eat? They'd have no income at all, and they'd both starve. Sure, growing a person takes a lot, but we don't even know what OP does for work. If he's doing manual labour, that takes a lot too. Sorry, but being pregnant doesn't give you carte blanche to ignore the needs of others.
Not to mention, she starts eating his food before hers and says she can't help it because she's hungry. Try eating your plate first maybe?
I love how reddit and Rslash both just assume that husbands are indentured servants to their wives and get no privacy, no opinion, and definitely no support. Screw the man who is supplying the only income, he can starve and work himself to death, she needs to feel comfortable.
It's R Slash's bias at work like always it's also the fact that he's never had to be on 1 meal a day like some people have to be to make ends meet it happens the fact that OP stated that his wife gets a bigger portion of food than he does and that he works all day means that he is doing everything he can to provide
Because of Dabney being a misandrist most of the time. He seems to think it almost always the man's fault.
@@willwallinger5932 exactly, god that's infuriating. I worked two jobs while pregnant, so i dont want to hear excuses about why pregnant people apparently cant do anything but leech its nonsense
@@slashnsmack5560 ive had issues with his takes before buti think this takes the cake
The last one makes me so mad. As a FTM, op's ex does NOT understand that things are now changing. He's a different person now, and op has every right to leave that relationship because he's not interested in men. Op is also SUPER generous to offer to pay for his testosterone even though they aren't together anymore. Op's ex is just so entitled it drives me bonkers
The parents coddling their mess of a child is probably the reason why she was so brazen to ruin OP’s wedding.
Finally, someone said what I want to Comment!
Agreed.
The sister accused OP of being the Golden Child - sis was half correct. There is definitely a Golden Child in that family, but it's definitely NOT OP.
How could op from the fourth story expecting a new mouth to feed in this world while he can't afford more than one meal for two people at the moment?
Food story : What the BRUH did I just hear you say, Dabney
Exactly like wtf?
Right, so the op who is out there working is just supposed to starve. The white knighting be real sometimes
Tbh I think both are the AH, this is no enviroment for a child. But yeah, I agree with Dabney. The baby needs all the nutrients or it will have lifelong issues. And the baby is innocent in this and should not suffer.
And as others have pointed it out...if you're struggling financially, WHY ON GODS GREEN EARTH have a baby?
That's a massive ESH as both are massively irresponsible...
Food story: Dabney isn't wrong. The edit mentions that yes, while OPs wife does get to eat a little bit more than OP, it's still not enough to be the minimal recommemded amount for a pregnant woman. She is starving herself when she should be eating more than normal. This is incredibly dangerous for her AND the Baby, What she is doing isn't just "Pregnancy cravings", it's her body going into survival mode due to eating so little
Dabney is also right in suggesting that they should find Food Banks, stamps, pantries etc.
He's had a history of being misandric and has had bad takes when it comes to gender related situations. This wasn't one of them. It's not a gender thing, it's a health thing
Last story: Transmasc here. I can understand why the bf might be upset (especially if his family isn’t all that supportive), but calling OP a transphobe is just unreasonable and manipulative. If anything, it’s really sweet that OP’s offering to help with treatment; he just doesn’t like other guys. If you’re not gay, you’re not gay.
For the last story OP is definitely NTA. Just like that comment said, he’s validating and showing he accepts the identity of his boyfriend and sees him as male. Breaking up sucks, but this is just something you have to accept as a trans person. I’m also FtM, and if someone doesn’t wanna date me because they’re not gay, then oh well. I actually had something like this happen, had interest in a friend of mine, but he’s straight so he shot me down politely. Because he saw me as a dude and respected my identity and isn’t into guys.
It’s not transphobic. OP can’t force himself to be gay. He accepts his boyfriend for who he is, he supports and cares for him, and is even paying for his treatment. Dude is like the nicest freaking guy about finding out, because a lot of people get upset about it. OP, your boyfriend (hopefully soon to be EX) is being selfish and I think a little manipulative. Because calling you transphobic for not wanting to date a guy is messed up. And I have a feeling his goal is to guilt you into staying with him by using being trans as a shield. Which isn’t okay.
*1st Story:* Karen's mad she's being treated like a criminal? _THAT'S BECAUSE SHE IS!!!_ Does she not know how trespassing laws work?
Sound works!
Right
yyyaaaaaaaayy
Woo hoo 🎉
It just didn't work for the first few lol no idea why tho
Check one two check one two
Story 4: So, let me get this straight... The wife is extra hungry because of pregnancy, which is understandable, and picks at the OP's plate of food. Presumably, they can not make larger portions because they're really tight on money, and as a result, they're only eating once per day. This leads to the OP getting upset because he's not getting enough food.
They can't afford to feed themselves enough each day... *And they're trying to bring a child into the world? **_That is remarkably irresponsible to do._*
If you can't afford to feed yourself, you can't afford to feed a child. You also can't afford the medical expenses or clothing for the baby. This is a clear ESH scenario.
I don't know where the OP lives, so the outlook on things is uncertain. If they can, an abortion may be the best route. If they can't get an abortion, they could try putting the child up for adoption... And if neither of those work out, I sincerely hope for that child that they can get financial support.
Please, please do not have intimate relations without understanding the gravity of what you could set into motion. No protection is perfect, and if you can't afford to raise a child or abort a pregnancy, then you should seriously consider whether or not it's worth the gamble. Don't bring another life into this world that will only struggle just because _you want_ a kid.
Story 3: I don't think she understands what "Golden Child" means. She's basically jealous that OP is successful and she, while drunk out of her mind, just wrecked everything.
OP shouldn't pay that bill
I think she understand what a Golden Child is. With this type of toxic person every accusation is a confession.
Yeah, she's basically just DARVOing (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) OP via the miracle of projection.
Story 2: I actually just heard the story earlier this morning. There’s an update to it, to make a long story short SIL and BIL hadn’t settled on the name when she pulled that crap. SIL wanted a girl and was very disappointed to find out. It was a boy, the reason they didn’t know the gender was so SIL could just believe they were having a girl went out being upset during the pregnancy. So when she stole the name Dad had no input on it, he started arguing the second they were out of the room. The baby left the hospital with the name, but he does have one now. SIL stop caring because she was so disappointed in having a boy that dad named the child by himself. I can’t remember, but I know it’s not the one she tried to steal.
Also all this information from MIL has been helping them take care of the kid, SIL hasn’t said anything to OP or husband since the visit.
Thank you! I enjoy hearing the updates and appreciate you took the time to post this one.
I was thinking during the reading that the SIL sounds like a narcissist (in the clinical sense). The fact that she doesn't care about the baby because he is 'the wrong gender' adds data to the conclusion.
Story 2:Imagine trying to steal somebody’s baby name. What’s the point? I don’t understand why people do this when there are millions of names to pick.
If I had known someone was going to do that, I'd make sure the names were complete bs, like Ester Mol and Peter Philly.
The point is to "steal" somnething from OP because sister is super insecure.
And what a great way to bring a child into the world by immediately using them as a pawn in a stupid game 🙄
To be a B word. Just to hurt the other person or make them mad. That's all there is to it. The names we've chosen for future children mean a lot to us because they're after late relatives that we each loved very much. If someone deliberately stole those names from us in order to be jerk they would suffer my wrath.
its called "not having a life outside of being a petty little bitch to others"
On the first story: I sold pool supplies and did maintenance for a few years. This woman's kids probably pee in the pool. This adds phosphates to the water. Phosphate what algae thrive on. So this woman just taking this guys pool as if it's hers and then making him to all the work is another level to that story.
Ok for the last story he’s not a transphobe, he’s being respectful and supportive. He’s recognizing that his partner is now a dude and he isn’t into dudes while paying for T. We need to be mindful who we call transphobes because there are actual people trying to end our lives and take our rights
That poor baby. They are eating ONE MEAL a day and have money issues....but chose to have a kid?! How selfish can you be?
15:28, I’d completely understand a break up here !, they dated before he transitioned, he’s not gay, so it makes sense to break up here
As a fellow FTM friend i agree with the NTA score for the last post. He's not being homophobic or transphobic, he just knows his sexuality and dating a man is not that.
with story 1, i'm surprised more people aren't talking about how some of OP's neighbors are trying to get OP to cater to the karen in order to avoid "drama"
thats just so stupid, giving karen's what they want when its unreasonable just makes them worse! also, i bet those neighbors would be on OP's side if karen was using their pools!
Story 4 : what the fuck? Op needs to eat too ! They should go to a food bank or something if they're struggling that much
The story where the prego wife is taking her husband’s food… if they are so poor they both can only afford to eat one meal a day maybe they shouldn’t be having babies. Both are the a hole
Story 3: the parents aren’t mad at sis? She basically called them terrible parents in front of the large crowd and they focus on squeezing their other child to help her? Like wow, that woman must be blind than a bat if she can’t tell that she’s actually the golden child. That turned into the golden pathetic man baby, that thinks OP needs to be sorry for living her best life. And the parents will still show blatant favoritism despite everything.
Rslash, did you really just suggest someone eat no food at all and that they are an asshole for wanting to eat? They need a food bank, not being called an asshole for getting hungry. They need to not be having a kid.
Pool safety in general is not discussed enough so I'm not surprised that some areas have laws about creating fencing. While it doesn't happen often, kids, pets, and people under the influence drown in pools without safety barriers quite a bit. Even if people using a pool know how to swim, it's always best if someone is there, I've seen accidents where someone hits their head either slipping or doing a dive wrong and if there wasn't another party nearby it could've ended badly.
The thing about the golden child story is, if OP was really the golden child the parents would NOT ask her to pay for her sister's therapy, straight up. Sounds like she was just used to being in the spotlight and that her sister having one day about herself threw her over the edge.
Story 3: Yeah the enabling of this kind of entitled behavior is exactly what created this entitled monster of a sister. Tell your parents to eat it.
Story 4: He isn't "only giving his wife one meal a day," they're both *barely getting by* and only have enough money for one meal per day. This isn't a situation to call anyone an asshole, this is a situation where they both need help. This isn't a matter of sides (though, frankly, telling the man who's working hard to keep them housed and fed that he's wrong for wanting one whole meal is messed up), this is a matter of "You're in the wrong part of the internet, you need to be looking up food banks and other ways to get more food."
R/slash forgets that it takes two to tango. If they can only afford one meal a day each, then why did this couple get pregnant? The wife is already failing as a mother. She's also an AH.
Last one: So people aren't allowed to have preferences anymore? Nah. OP started out dating a woman. His partner is no longer identifying as a woman. It's loosely like a contract in a way -- you change your gender, decide you're now strictly poly, cover your face in tats, join a cult, pull out a niche kink you can't live without, or otherwise fundamentally change from the person your partner thought you were? Then you've invalidated the original "contract" of dating you started with. Time to part ways if you can't agree on the changes. OP is EXTREMELY generous to keep paying. Partner is being a nasty brat and honestly doesn't deserve his support anymore.
I just wanted to say before you get too much comment, that I always look forward to your videos every morning shift at my job and makes my mornings so much better
🎶best part of waking up! Is RSlash tea in my cup!🎶
The pregnant wife ignores her portion when stealing from OP. The correct way to go about it is to finish your own food, and ONLY THEN flick on puppy-eyes mode and try to nick more.
There's an update to story 2! Turns out that Jess lied about the baby name because she was really, really, really, praying for a girl. Her MIL was the only girl, had only 3 boys, and wanted to have a gorl to bond with her. She was very jealous of OP because of how their life differs: jess and her husband were on/off and he gave her a shut up ring, had a court wedding, and live in a small apartment, while OP and her husband dated, engaged, married with a big wedding, bought a house, and got pregnant right away, all within a few years.
Since Jess has a boy, she felt let down. Her husband was pissed when she said Sebastian Ali and changed it to Jordan Ali instead (he's definitely a sports guy). Now Jess probably has PPD (i don't remember if OP stated it) but it seems like she doesn't want her son because he wasn't the gender she wanted. However, the grandma/MIL and Jess can somewhat bknd over the fact that the men they chose can't produce the XY chromosomes.
OP isn't gonna confess to Jess about her plan, but only if ask about it, just not now. Also, that i hardly doubt she eill because then Jess will have to admit to snooping for the names.
Do you mean XX chromosomes? XY= male, XX= female.
I have a friend who has a FTM son and when he had a woman’s body he dated a lesbian. When he transitioned his girlfriend broke up with him. My friend was confused why she didn’t stay together with her son. If they were together before then she should love him for who he is as a person. I tried to explain that that is what sexuality is about. You prefer something and you can’t change it. If she was pansexual or bi then maybe she could still love the son but she is a lesbian and don’t want to be together with a man.
Second story i dont know why the sister would even say shes an AH. Sebastian Ali is still a nice name, its not like she tried to trick her into naming the baby like Poopy Pants or something. 😂 The SIL clearly wanted her to name the baby, she was just more than happy to oblige.
10:33 it’s a pretty good name honestly, probably better than what she would have named the kid lol.
As someone's FtM trans myself, I can say OP isn't an AH. Heck, he's respecting his bf's gender identity by seeing him as a guy, not a girl, and because OP isn't into men, then breaking is logical. Also, OP willing paying for this dude's T is wild?! OP gets zero out of five, and OP's bf gets 2 out of five, in my opinion.
TBH if OP is working Foodstamps won't help. I tried applying when I was brought down to 8 working hours a week. They said I was inelligable since I didn't work 20, but if I was working 20 hr a week they would only give me $20 a month
Story 1: Get in touch with the police about this. It's deranged behavior that will only escalate. And yeah, OP IS treating Karen like a criminal because trespassing on someone else's property and using their stuff without permission is criminal behavior.
12:20 NO! NO NO NO A THOUSAND F%&$ING TIMES NO! It falls under the PARENT'S responsibility to provide for the child not the sibling, parentalizing children regardless of age is abuse. And this phrase has been said on this channel ad nauseum, "if it's so important that she need therapy, THEN WHY DON'T YOOOUUU DEW IT!!"
That last story is so ridiculously stupid. The trans man said the boyfriend was transphobic because he isn’t gay, but I’d be willing to bet that the trans man wants to be considered just as much a man as a biological man. If that’s the case, then why expect a straight man to continue dating you as a man? I just can’t fathom the thinking in this crap.
Story 4: everyone sucks, OP needs food too BECAUSE HE'S HUMAN, WE DO THIS FUNNY THING WHEN WE DONT HAVE FOOD FOR WEEKS CALLED STARVE TO DEATH, RSLASH OP CAN'T PROVIDE IF HES DEAD, so op isn't wrong for bringing this up, what hes wrong for is not finding a solution, ops wife is also wrong for taking her husbands only meal instead of asking him to find a solution to get more food, and they both equally suck for bringing a life into a home when they can't even survive in it
Pregnant wife story: kind of a hot take there, rslash. While yes, the wife does need more food, she is already being given a larger portion than her husband. He still needs energy to work, and should he go to work starving, then that opens up the door for a whole other list of problems. God forbid he gets injured or sick on the job due to not eating, then who will provide the income? It’s a lose-lose situation.
Holy crap that last story. I am Trans. The first thing I thought was 'well yeah they should break up cause one person isn't gay. That simple' The I wanted to throttle the trans person. How is that Transphobic! They literally validated your whole ass identity. Now you are not respecting their actual sexuality? Yo! Learn what words mean and just not be in a relationship for a while. Damn, some trans people make us look freaking unhinged.
Story 3: being pregnant isn’t an excuse to keep stealing OP’s food, he gotta eat too. R/ I get you’re thinking about the well-being of the child and the pregnant woman, but you’re just flat out wrong here. It’s not like he’s preventing her from ever eating, he just wants to be able to have food too. I agree if it’s that bad, they need to look in some kind of aid to help bring more food, if not for them then for the child, they will have to financially support. But still.
Oh my god the wife can go without food. Maybe she shouldn’t of gotten pregnant if they can’t afford it Jesus fucking Christ
If she is not working then she could be applying for government assistance or connecting with local orgs which can help. She can at the least call people while pregnant.
Pregnancy story: You best believe I am not having sex if I can, at a bare minimum, afford one meal a day.
If that situation finds us after marriage, WE are using all kinds of contraceptives. Hell, abstaining is also on the table if we have to.
Pregnancy story: In the defense of the wife, you completely skipped over the part where she took from his plate before even touching hers. If she finished her plate and asked for more, I could understand, but taking from his immediately? No. He needs to eat too to be able to do his job to support the baby. What happens if he loses his job because he doesn’t have the energy to carry on? Then they really won’t be able to afford food.
Rslash, while I agree the wife needs to eat because she's pregnant, OP needs to eat too. He won't be able to provide for them if he's starving to death for very long. They BOTH need tk eat, she just needs to eat more. I would recommend they look into government support such as food stamps and WIC (if in the USA, if not, then their local equivalent) as well as food banks. They are starving themselves and it's not healthy
You missed the Baby Name story update!! The sister left the husband and baby. She never wanted a boy. The husband hated the name Sebastian, and the sister just blurted it out in the moment without ever consulting him. He changed the named to Jordan Ali.
Last story pissed me off - transphobe how??? He's literally validating his BF's identity. He's also respecting his own preferences. I get that there are emotions and breaking up hurts, but don't pull the phobia card when OP is literally supporting him.
Let's not forget that the pregnant wife is an adult. There's nothing stopping her from signing up for some kind of welfare. No one can do that for her. She has to do it herself.
Eating most of the food of the one who goes out to work every day only ensures that he won't have the energy to work every day.
So the husband just shouldn't eat? I'd argue that they shouldn't have kept the pregnancy if they can't afford things for just themselves. That's a really crappy thing to do to a kid.
11:58 I went to a wedding, where the father of the bride was a super alcoholic, but everybody knew he was an alcoholic so they had at least three different people who’s only job at the wedding was to watch him make sure he didn’t drink, but also that he didn’t cause a scene. It was an amazing wedding. It was so beautiful and he didn’t do anything because somebody was always with him. The bride and out she was pregnant after the vows and I do everybody was happy and partying. It was a gorgeous vineyard. There was no problems at all! If you know somebody has an issue, make sure that somebody else is watching them at your wedding so it’s not your responsibility!!
Story 4: Oh come off it RSlash, OP has to eat too. Not like the wife doesn't have her own food and yet she always goes for his food first? That's just being mean and really at the end of the day if they can only afford to eat one meal a day then why the hell are they having a kid in the first place? Depending on whose idea it was to have a kid in the first place either this is all on the wife or ESH cause they are trying for kids whilst in financial strife.
Pregnancy food story: there's got to be more to the story, how do two people who are working not have enough money for food? indebt?, living beyond their means?, etc. Also the husband deciding to photosynthesise for the next 9 months or more is not a viable option unless the mother has plans to be a single parent.
Story 4: Rslash with yet another hot and wrong take. While clearly they do need to find some kind of help for the food insecurity, OP still needs to eat if he's seemingly the only one working at the moment. Presumably because wife is at home, with basic household up keep, which shouldn't be the equivalent of a full time job, assuming that they don't live like slobs.
OP: Respects trans identity
BF: Transfobe!
bet he would have called op a transpose for "calling himself straight while dating a guy" too
Karen sounds like the type to sue because someone got hurt on OP’s property, that’s a liability OP should not risk.
Story 5:I don't,cannot and will not understand some people,NTA at all
Stpry 3:Regardless of what happened in the past.
OP's money,OP's decision,NTA at all
If anything OP could sue the sister for ruining the wedding.
Last story, both my current partner and I had to do the exact same as the person in the story. My ex is a MTF and his ex is an FTM. Neither of us are gay. It was a difficult experience for both of us but you can’t change how you’re made
Bro in my country if a burglar trips over something in YOUR HOUSE you’re liable as the owner for their injury smh some laws are ridiculous
Which country? Just curiosity. Mine has regarding self-defense that you have to answer with equal force, otherwise you are getting sued. As in if someone tries to strangle you but you stab them in self-defense, you are at fault.
@@e.vasileva5891 Belgium, I believe it is due to a law forbidden you to harm ppl. And then it’d be your fault cause it happened on your property lol. So backwards
@@benwil6048 Yeah, Europe is weird with such laws I guess.
@@e.vasileva5891 I think most countries/places have some weird or bad legislation tbh :P we got good laws too
14:45 unpopular opinion because I was once "that child"... If you can't afford to feed yourselves, you shouldn't be having kids