Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we managed to work through them. It was a tough time, but we came out stronger.
I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.
Saying farewell to someone you love dearly is never easy, but in my case, I had the assistance of a spiritual counselor who saved my marriage from falling apart. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'm thankful for this guidance. I'll immediately start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that adopting this strategy will also bring about positive changes for me; I miss her deeply
Great show! I've heard it said, "When single, the enemy wants you to have sex with EVERYONE. When married, the enemy doesn't want you to have sex with your spouse!"
Can I just say that I enjoy your podcast. Not even sure how I found it. So glad that I did. Led me to your church. I love your church! So happy I found you. Thank you for all you do.
Tabitha I’m so glad you trusted your gut and added that message on to the response. I know you hesitated to jump in because it felt like Ken had touched every point already but I wanted to let you know that YES you made perfect sense! Your response was actually specifically to me and my circumstances. The point you mentioned on ( maybe you’re spouse isn’t in denial Maybe they are truly happy and the issue is in you). This is a great point that people need to hear! That’s where I have been and I literally just spoke that word this morning and it’s been something that I have been grappling with for a while.. maybe the problem is in me. Also, There are all of these conversations about men in relationships with women who don’t enjoy sex but there are no conversations about women in relationships with men who don’t enjoy/ value sex, or men who can go months without sex. & this is a thing!
Sexless marriage exits, and it's not the only the man wanting intimacy, but women do as well. There's medical issues etc. stuff but you gotta have real conversations and get interventions, etc. Both spouses have to align to meet each other needs. In addition seek God. I concur only God can make you happy. Not a spouse but its sad when you are unfilled in a marriage due to lack of intimacy
I love to listen to you both as you provide biblical perspective in each area raised but very real and practical from that perspective and I love that. I am currently single following divorce but I share your videos with my sisters struggling in their marriages and single ones too. Thank you for leading from a Christ centred approach and keep doing what you do
How often sex is had or not had may be an issue due to health (physically, emotionally or psychologically). God does not state how often sex should/should not be had. Every couple is different. They need to find their rhythm and address their challenges which may require therapy. There is more than one way to be “intimate”.
Yes, true, but sex is a NEED for men, not just a desire/want. If possible, barring physical/emotional/psychological health issues, regular sex for husbands is helpful.
@@movingforward789 Never did I say it wasn’t a need. But as you age and you will if you continue to live, the body WILL/does change physically and ALL of what I said will need to be addressed.
@@movingforward789it is not. Need is water, food. Men can live without sex.Alot of men say men can live without it. In marriage I am not talking about that. If u dont practice this, then thats why many cheat. Its a lust issue.
@@jalisazari9387 It’s a relationship need. Just like women can live without love, but in a relationship, it’s a need. The relationship can’t live without it. We are talking about needs in relationships here…
Hello Ken my wife love listening to you all. So she has been sharing some of your content with me. I really thought that you all was a little different then most churches but the trend I see is with you as well. Most African American pastor tend to be very soft and gentle when it comes to correcting women bad behaviors but very rough around the edges with men. I don’t know why but everyone like to always play women as victims in marriage and when they are called out it tend to be to a very sweet song. Just putting this out there thank you for sharing
Months to almost yrs between here! BUT Ive been watching y’all and it lead some of the answer I needed and I’ve talked with my wife. Even know she’s watched a few of y’all’s videos! Prayers and Ty both in advance!
Great topic and I can say from a woman’s perspective, in the early stages of my marriage I did not want to have sex with my husband and I feel it was Psychological tricks that the enemy was playing on my mind B/C before we were married and b/ f Christ came into my/ our life I had a high sex drive. It really took the power of God to break the Yoke and now we have a regular rhythm. However I still have to prepare my mind and myself even before hand and that makes all the difference.
i Completely understand this.. but i wished someone would speak on the areas when… there’s dysfunctional stuff going on, or when relationships with Christ arent the same. it Has to be enjoyable and respectful for Both and not a Demanded thing or forced Also Age is a factor .. theres many other aspects involved
I love you videos! A bit of feedback: Ken please keep facing towards the microphone when you are speaking. Your sentences often fade out because you move away from the mic, so I hear the beginning of your sentences but then it fades out as you turn your head away, making it hard to understand what you are saying. I love hearing you both speak, thanks for your time.
@@ctm2594I watch K and T all the time, and it is OFTEN I have to stop what I’m doing to turn up the volume when K is speaking because he turns his face. Many podcasters will tell their guests to speak directly into the mic, if not it won’t pick up what they’re saying. It’s funny that you call yourself “majority of viewers” but goodness my, can’t say anything these days without someone getting offended 😂 it’s constructive criticism, it’s not harming anyone chill out.
This is true for me and I do not know what happened. And I agree with all y’all say but I need to find out why the deep issue is. I’m just being real! And naw I didn’t get married to not have sex often!!! Things changed I truly need God right now to show me what is it with ME???? So I’m listening to y’all!
But lets be honest. Alot men dont help with the house or kids. So everything is on the wife. Shes too tired out. Now im a addicted so idk how that feels not wanted it but still i understand why women dont want to. If his putting his part i feel things will change if not. Then the wife needs to check her medical health or her mental space. Also sometimes putting her partner needs above hers. But also men you also gotta put her in the mood n no being a perv isn't it.
Stop right there, provide and protect, and like the church. When you get home and talk on the phone to your friends, go watch ESPN, and then just want a quickie, it’s a NO for me! There needs to be a relationship. Oftentimes there is no intimacy, I believe that’s the main issue. And I’m single. Just want to say that!
this may or may not be helpful but, my apostle has said whatever a married couple does behind closed doors is between them and God(within reason ofc) and that the marriage bed remains pure with only them.
This is my response regarding oral sex. Psalms 46:10 The bedroom is silent.Time to communicate with God or intimacy with your spouse. You do not need approval.
As a Christian therapist I have experienced that a lot of wives do not have the same sex life as their husbands. Pastor Tabatha is the minority when it comes to desire for sex.
Perfect marriages or relationships aren't real; they're all unique. What makes one person happy might not make another person happy. But I've discovered that there's always a solution to every problem. Five years ago, my wife and I were almost divorcing because of issues in our marriage, but we managed to work through them. It was a tough time, but we came out stronger.
I honestly want to be happy as well. I'm in a relationship, and even though we're apart, I can't think of life without her; my love for her is deep. I really hope she comes back, and I'm fully committed to making it work. We've tried different methods, like therapy, to fix things.
Saying farewell to someone you love dearly is never easy, but in my case, I had the assistance of a spiritual counselor who saved my marriage from falling apart. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.
I'm thankful for this guidance. I'll immediately start searching for her online. I appreciate it. I'm hopeful that adopting this strategy will also bring about positive changes for me; I miss her deeply
Welcome... You should
It’s something how when unmarried we are giving it up to everyone, then once married rationing it out and withholding it! Lord, help us all!!! 😂
Great show! I've heard it said, "When single, the enemy wants you to have sex with EVERYONE. When married, the enemy doesn't want you to have sex with your spouse!"
Wow
Tab that was great about examining your self make sure your happy and looking to God for fulfillment not your spouse
Can I just say that I enjoy your podcast. Not even sure how I found it. So glad that I did. Led me to your church. I love your church! So happy I found you. Thank you for all you do.
@@ginadangelo6388 thank you for sharing that story! We are glad you found us and that it led you to Alive Church 🙌🏽
I’m binge watching! 💖
Tabitha I’m so glad you trusted your gut and added that message on to the response. I know you hesitated to jump in because it felt like Ken had touched every point already but I wanted to let you know that YES you made perfect sense!
Your response was actually specifically to me and my circumstances. The point you mentioned on ( maybe you’re spouse isn’t in denial Maybe they are truly happy and the issue is in you). This is a great point that people need to hear! That’s where I have been and I literally just spoke that word this morning and it’s been something that I have been grappling with for a while.. maybe the problem is in me.
Also, There are all of these conversations about men in relationships with women who don’t enjoy sex but there are no conversations about women in relationships with men who don’t enjoy/ value sex, or men who can go months without sex. & this is a thing!
I love pastor Tab saying not to look at your spouse as your god! So good!!!❤
Questions start at 6:09.
Sexless marriage exits, and it's not the only the man wanting intimacy, but women do as well. There's medical issues etc. stuff but you gotta have real conversations and get interventions, etc. Both spouses have to align to meet each other needs. In addition seek God. I concur only God can make you happy. Not a spouse but its sad when you are unfilled in a marriage due to lack of intimacy
I love to listen to you both as you provide biblical perspective in each area raised but very real and practical from that perspective and I love that. I am currently single following divorce but I share your videos with my sisters struggling in their marriages and single ones too. Thank you for leading from a Christ centred approach and keep doing what you do
How often sex is had or not had may be an issue due to health (physically, emotionally or psychologically). God does not state how often sex should/should not be had. Every couple is different. They need to find their rhythm and address their challenges which may require therapy. There is more than one way to be “intimate”.
Yes, true, but sex is a NEED for men, not just a desire/want. If possible, barring physical/emotional/psychological health issues, regular sex for husbands is helpful.
@@movingforward789 Never did I say it wasn’t a need. But as you age and you will if you continue to live, the body WILL/does change physically and ALL of what I said will need to be addressed.
@@miriampamperedinpaper3366 Ok 🤷🏾♀️
@@movingforward789it is not. Need is water, food. Men can live without sex.Alot of men say men can live without it. In marriage I am not talking about that. If u dont practice this, then thats why many cheat. Its a lust issue.
@@jalisazari9387 It’s a relationship need. Just like women can live without love, but in a relationship, it’s a need. The relationship can’t live without it. We are talking about needs in relationships here…
Really great conversation Ken & Tabatha. Always keeping real and speaking solid and wise words of wisdom to help marriages. Love you.🙏🏾
Hello Ken my wife love listening to you all. So she has been sharing some of your content with me. I really thought that you all was a little different then most churches but the trend I see is with you as well. Most African American pastor tend to be very soft and gentle when it comes to correcting women bad behaviors but very rough around the edges with men. I don’t know why but everyone like to always play women as victims in marriage and when they are called out it tend to be to a very sweet song. Just putting this out there thank you for sharing
Love your podcast . Love it and look forward to it each week .
This message is needed for real, so glad I have found this podcast
Thank you both. You don't know this but you all are my online therapist!!! I have learned sooooo much from you two!
Months to almost yrs between here! BUT Ive been watching y’all and it lead some of the answer I needed and I’ve talked with my wife. Even know she’s watched a few of y’all’s videos! Prayers and Ty both in advance!
29:34
This was good.
Thank y’all 🙏🏾
😂
Great topic and I can say from a woman’s perspective, in the early stages of my marriage I did not want to have sex with my husband and I feel it was
Psychological tricks that the enemy was playing on my mind B/C before we were married and b/ f Christ came into my/ our life I had a high sex drive. It really took the power of God to break the Yoke and now we have a regular rhythm. However I still have to prepare my mind and myself even before hand and that makes all the difference.
This is good info 🙏🏾
this is so good, thanks for posting
God bless you
Love this episode ❤️❤️💪🏼
I enjoyed this at 11:00 at night before going to bed
i Completely understand this.. but i wished someone would speak on the areas when…
there’s dysfunctional stuff going on, or when relationships with Christ arent the same.
it Has to be enjoyable and respectful for Both and not a Demanded thing or forced
Also Age is a factor .. theres many other aspects involved
Hello Ken and Tabatha.
I'm 40 years old, and I desire to be married, but if I don’t I'm ok with that. Bless you both.
I love you videos! A bit of feedback: Ken please keep facing towards the microphone when you are speaking. Your sentences often fade out because you move away from the mic, so I hear the beginning of your sentences but then it fades out as you turn your head away, making it hard to understand what you are saying.
I love hearing you both speak, thanks for your time.
I hear them just fine-if they are wondering about what majority of their viewers think, but thanks for the note.
@@ctm2594I watch K and T all the time, and it is OFTEN I have to stop what I’m doing to turn up the volume when K is speaking because he turns his face. Many podcasters will tell their guests to speak directly into the mic, if not it won’t pick up what they’re saying. It’s funny that you call yourself “majority of viewers” but goodness my, can’t say anything these days without someone getting offended 😂 it’s constructive criticism, it’s not harming anyone chill out.
This is true for me and I do not know what happened. And I agree with all y’all say but I need to find out why the deep issue is. I’m just being real! And naw I didn’t get married to not have sex often!!! Things changed I truly need God right now to show me what is it with ME???? So I’m listening to y’all!
What about letting your wife go months hungry. My husband suffers from ED.
But lets be honest. Alot men dont help with the house or kids. So everything is on the wife. Shes too tired out. Now im a addicted so idk how that feels not wanted it but still i understand why women dont want to. If his putting his part i feel things will change if not. Then the wife needs to check her medical health or her mental space. Also sometimes putting her partner needs above hers. But also men you also gotta put her in the mood n no being a perv isn't it.
Stop right there, provide and protect, and like the church. When you get home and talk on the phone to your friends, go watch ESPN, and then just want a quickie, it’s a NO for me! There needs to be a relationship. Oftentimes there is no intimacy, I believe that’s the main issue. And I’m single. Just want to say that!
😳well dang…..not even 30 seconds in….it started hot 🥵 hot 🥵 hot 🥵 caught me off guard 😅
😊 Hey Ken and Tabatha, please cover a conversation about whether or not God created oral sex for married couples please. ❤😊
Ou good question
this may or may not be helpful but, my apostle has said whatever a married couple does behind closed doors is between them and God(within reason ofc) and that the marriage bed remains pure with only them.
This is my response regarding oral sex. Psalms 46:10 The bedroom is silent.Time to communicate with God or intimacy with your spouse. You do not need approval.
@@audreywatson2103 not all things are on the table. You aren’t supposed to do anything while on your cycle. Nor anal sex.
As a Christian therapist I have experienced that a lot of wives do not have the same sex life as their husbands. Pastor Tabatha is the minority when it comes to desire for sex.
I don't believe she is the minority but it's sensitive and embarrassing to admit and deal with your husband not wanting to be intimate.
Thank you for this! In a season preparing to get married! 😊♥️ Godbless
I appreciate for sharing sex = is good normal - should have freedom to talk about hard issues- should not be ashamed to talk about
It could be a number of things going on here why she doesn't want to have sex, you guys are making it a cut and dry thing
40+ Single female here. No desire to be married, but I LOOOVE your content! SOOO transparently good 🫶🏿🙏🏿
When he was talking and she cut him off. The way he looked at her and said “let me finish” 😮
He constantly cuts her off and she doesn’t say a word. 😢
It makes it hard to watch 😢