I retired at the end of January from a life of working in an office atmosphere. In early May I noticed a now hiring sign in a local florist. I know nothing about arranging flowers but she hired me to assist in getting flowers prepared and I'm learning about flowers and helping people purchase and order arrangements. Maybe I'll try my hand at arranging!
Go ahead and try it, you have nothing to lose. Any skills you learn on one job , some are always transferable to the next job you get, whether paid or unpaid work. Good luck in your future endeavors.
I've lost all my friends from high school, retired and moved away from L.A. I never was able to make new friends because when my son died, I went into a long deoression. Then I divorced my adulterous husband. I'm feeling much better now. So hopefully I might find a group of like minded people. Thanks for the encouragement!
Hi Sue, yes, I think I understand some of your feelings. My son is alive but he choose to be estranged so almost as if he die. Difficult to make friends at our age especially in this pandemic. L.A. is not easy to cultivate friendships. Sad really! Take care, hope for the best!
I’m so sorry you lost your child…..& nothing worse than an cheater husband…..but the good news is you can trust being with self. You don’t need anyone else’s troubles….enjoy your peace🙏
Honestly, I’d rather be by myself anyway after raising a family all those years I welcome a little time for myself. Plus, I’ve never been able to live up to the standards that friendships require.
I became a widow and moved to another State all at the beginning of COVID pandemic. Needless to say that led to isolation and loneliness. I have been lonely and dying to make new friends. I found a group of wonderful women and a few men at the dog park whom have become dear friends. We meet each day at the same time for a couple hours with our fur babies. These women have included me in their lives and also their lunch get togethers. I’m so grateful for these wonderful new friends.
I've realised that if I needed a ride for a medical procedure there isn't anyone I could ask. That is sad. I live in a rural area. I used to be involved with a charity but that has been on hold, but they still aren't 'friends'. Cutting out all the people who were taking advantage of me financially really showed how few true friends I have. My son lives nearby but only calls when he wants money (there seems to be a theme here). Thinking about a village in Albania or something where maybe people are closer knit just for survival :)
@heather I realized sometime ago I am in the same situation! And in case of emergency- I have no family, so really ....its hard if u work alone, live alone...Take care
How’s it going Heather…I’m hoping you find true friend ship..I want the same for me….I’m thinking of doing volunteer work with the elderly …I’m hoping this will help. It’s a double edged sword with the elderly…they pass away and leave you feeling incredible sadness which never really leaves you…but the look in their eyes when they see is priceless..they make me feel so needed and appreciated…I want to be people who genuinely need me . I had a very old uncle who never had visitors expect for me… He thought I was Jesus when I came by…I started to visit quite often , I wanted to do it for him, but it made me feel loved too.. But once he passed it was the saddest day and I still cry and it’s been years…..😓
When a woman gets divorced after a long marriage of 15 - 25 years, most people who she thought were her friends will desert her, will polarize toward the ex husband along with his new wife or girlfriend. Even the children, her family members will abandon her. I saw this happen many times, it was a shock each time I saw it happen.
Brenda B - who are these people? I found that the "Couples" my ex-husband and I were close with I never heard from again after our divorce. They were his friends before we hooked up. I disagree with you about your family. Why would your family members abandon you? Mine didn't. What would be the point unless you were a Jehovah Witness and strayed.
@@sylviacarlson3561 I'm not religious at all. No one in my immediate family plus very very few in my extended family had divorced. I initiated the divorce, the marriage had gone bad was getting worse. I filed, paid all the fees. My family was angry with me for divorcing. Many of them still are. It makes zero sense to me, at first I was outraged & hurt. Now, I accept it. I divorced for my greater happiness, I decided to be happy no matter what, so, I am.
Brenda B When I read your post I wondered if I had written it! It is somewhat shocking that some who have been in a relatively close circle, will be forced to chose. Some wives feel obligated because husbands are threatened by divorce & want to show support to the male friend, or when a husband has passed, some wives feel threatened by a newly single woman. Of course your really GOOD friends don't desert you, but if you're like me, I went for quality over quantity and sadly people pass away, and not always when they are aged.
True. Couples only socialize with other couples, and if you're no longer part of a couple they wash their hands of you, no matter how long the friendship.
I recently made a new friend on Next Door. We both had commented on some community happenings and seemed to have like minds. I invited her out for coffee. She is lovely and I really felt great about stepping outside my comfort zone by extending my friendship. We’ve only got one life to live, about time to step outside the box!
This may sound snarky but people my age that I've met act OLD. I don't have a table full of Rxs to take every day. I constantly find new things to learn about. This is a great time. But finding like-minded souls is damn near impossible.
Jenna - I have to respectfully disagree. Who says "like minded people" and "people my age" have to be one and the same? I was the oldest person in my entire college, yet managed to have friendships with some there that have endured the past 20 years. We continue to inspire each other, and I'm honored to count them among my friends. It can be a challenge to break through the younger generation's perception of your age, but that can also be a two way street. If you see a younger person engaged in your favorite hobby, do you approach them, or write them off because they're of a different generation? Could be some missed opportunities there.
I tend to find some people do focus on the fact that they're getting old, making jokes about it, maybe that helps them to cope with it or something. I will not get involved in that conversation even if it is in jest, maybe that's my way of coping with it. I don't feel old nor do I think old, even if the mirror says otherwise. I have a few annoying aches here and there but I don't assume they're sticking around and I look for natural ways of eliminating them. If I am ever asked what medications I'm on people/health professionals are always surprised when i say 'none'. Perhaps I look like I should be! 🤪😁
Yes, this hits home for me. It’s so hard to meet new friends . And even though I’m an artist and belong to a watercolor guild we haven’t had a meeting in over a year. But even before the pandemic I found it difficult. I live alone and it would be so nice to have some women friends to get together with. Tallahassee Florida 🌴
Most of my friends have passed away. Making new ones is so hard because women are competitive with one another. I had made a friend recently that I cherished and gave her all kinds of moral support through her problems. She was really looking for a drinking buddy and I couldn’t be that so that friendship ended.
some friends are still active and open to occasional lunches and dinners and it takes effort to organize these gatherings. thanks to church and my spiritual meditation group I have a several close friends who are tremendous support mutual, of course. book clubs meeting online during the pandemic were a source of community as well as providing robust discussions of the monthly selection. as for the drinking buddy, I learned when the daily drinker friend realized I am committed to a sober lifestyle she didn't stick around.
Yes! Exactly. I tried to befriend a really nice gal who visits 1/2 the year here with her daughter and grandbaby. She didn't keep in touch except when she wanted to go out for Happy Hours. During the lockdown I'd invite her over , put out a spread and serve expensive wines. Got tired of doing that 🙄
I find it difficult to meet friends because I've generally "lost faith" in people over the years. I've had friendships over the course of my life, from as way back as high school, where I discovered that they weren't really my friend at all. Every time it has happened has made me lose more and more faith in people. It can be very, VERY difficult to find people who genuinely like you, want the best for you and who don't have some ulterior motive in pursuing a friendship with you, not to mention isn't just secretly jealous of you. I've had that happen several times. And, God forbid you have physical problems. It's like you have the plague or something. Like some who posted here, if you have any physical issues at all, or take several medications, they want nothing to do with you. Good friends come in all ages, physical levels, etc.
Sounds like you and I have a lot in common. I’ve been very unlucky with friends and family. Many times I’ve questioned whether there was something wrong with me. Yep!! it was my good heart .
@@illuminata8097 I hear you. I grew up in the family from hell. SO much discord, lack of unity, jealousy and backbiting. I think because of my family experience, I really needed to find genuine friends, not just surface ones. Unfortunately, time after time throughout my life, people I really felt were true friends have been shown to not have the truest of feelings for me that I thought they had. It's been deeply bewildering, because I'm a good person and I know people can see that. But, as I'm getting older, I find myself just not expecting much from people, because I'm so tired of being disappointed. I try not to dwell on that, but instead focus on the things I'm thankful for. Still, there is definitely a hole there where friends should be.
I can SOOOOO relate. I am not a negative Nellie at all, it truly is just fact. I have tried in so many ways and it’s literally always the same. I don’t want anything from anyone except true friendship and don’t understand why I can’t find someone like that too.
Having a physical disability or illness pretty much makes it truly difficult if not impossible to not only make new friends but keep old healthy ones. It's very hurtful. It has happened to me. I'm still the same person inside, just not physically able to do the the fun physical things I did before. Sad world.
My mother was a wonderful role model for me. In her 80s after my father died she relocated to my area and desperately needed friendship of women her age. She would talk to everyone and do you know where she made her best friend standing in line at the grocery store. She joined senior groups, but her best friend was met standing in line at the grocery store. So putting ourselves out there, being warm and kind to all we meet will help us find friends as we get older. You have some wonderful suggestions in this video, Margaret. Thank you! ❤️
Thank you so much Sandra for sharing and being such a wonderful inspiration for so many women! If you are reading this comment and have not checked out Sandra's TH-cam channel please do! x Margaret
During the first stages of the pandemic, when I called all of my friends regularly because I missed everyone so much, I found out that some people were "activity friends" and a couple were more "true friends" (deeper level). If I had to call that person a second (or third) time, then I knew she really didn't care about our "friendship". I have learned over the 1.5 yrs of lockdown how to manage friendships, establish and maintain my boundaries, and when to speak up for myself. Before pandemic, I went on so many activities (meet ups; sports teams; walking/hiking groups, etc.) hoping to meet a new friend; I would end up disappointed. Now I have learned to go on the activity just to enjoy myself, keep active, learn a new skill/sport, and maybe have a nice conversation with someone new (even though I may never meet that person again). It is best (for me) to go on these activities with no expectations of making a new friend. Then, if I do meet someone and we feel comfortable to exchange contact information, it is a bonus. Going on the activity (despite not making a new friend) is better than staying home alone. I have walked my dog for ten years and spoken to dozens of other dog owners during our walks but have made only one "true friend" from that activity. It is very difficult to make "true friends" as we get older. Best wishes.
God bless you. I pray you will find a small circle of true friends. Going to a small church Bible study, or Sunday school single women’s group can be a great place for comfort & friends. But walking into any large group usually is a lonely frustratingly experience.
Hi Margaret, I periodically come visit your site and I found this video this morning. Thank you. It was very cheering, full of good advice. I'm 63 years wise, married but living in quite an isolated rural town in the south of France, Australian originally. We've been here 5 years now. Different culture and language challenges have added to the loneliness 'feel', and I miss like a stab in my heart daily my daughter and grandkids still living in Australia. To stop from going mad during these lockdowns on top of it all, I've started sewing again, and now I'm making and designing my own designs that I prob shock the locals with. I'm also an artist and writer and whilst these activities fill one part of my soul good friendship is sorely missing. I must get out more and talk in my halting French to ... anyone!!! I've come to think loneliness is physically painful. I'm thinking I'll join your Patreon group. This can't go on any longer. I have sewn already, 12 new summer dresses waiting in my wardrobe and nowhere to wear them to ... merci for the kind work you do for us.
Hi Majena I identified with your post here in an opposite kind of way. I live in Australia (Sydney) with my husband but both our kids (sons) are now living in Europe. The younger one moved to Berlin just recently. Whilst I have some close friends here, I miss them both very much.
Have you thought of selling your sewing creations? Are there local markets where you can rent a table and sell? Might be a great way to meet other sellers and people who like to sew. Just a thought.
I am having difficulty meeting other women, my husband and I relocated for my husbands work ..to a very small remote area..I have to travel 80 + miles to shop so doing my normal activities no longer exist. I am retired and of the boomer generation..I am finding it really hard to think of new ways to meet new friends but you have given me a few ideas..thank you! I don’t really like zoom meetings but maybe I need to try more & get out of my comfort zone. I love watching your channel ..thank you again for doing this kind of video and yes loneliness is real and can cause depression which I have and I am now experiencing. I recently lost my beautiful fur baby..she helped me with the lonely issue..not ready to get a new one just yet as I am still healing from my loss . Have a great week😘🌷
Sorry to hear of the loss of your fur baby. That loss can certainly leave a hole in your heart. Be certain the next one will find you when the time is right.
I was one of those stupid, stupid mothers who made her children and family her whole life … having millennial daughters I have been judged harshly and have been ostracised/exiled horribly. For the first time in my life I understand loneliness. I was one of the popular ‘kids’ and then a mother for so long … loneliness is a complete unknown to me. Until now. When I literally have no-one else. I don’t know where to start, although I do have hobbies I’m interested in, I feel like a thirsty desperate old lady and don’t know where to start. Thank you for the inspiration 🌹❤️
Becoming a compulsive knitter has been my over-reaction to the lockdowns, and there is so much on TH-cam knitting groups (instruction, Arne & Carlos just chatting, blogs etc., I don’t feel the need to make new friends. Yet do have 1 friend who I take the dogs out for walks with, but I can’t help engaging with other dog owners and children along the way, So often I include strangers in on our conversations. Finding and maintaining a real friend, though, is a great gift. But I think we’ve lost our ability to recognise and appreciate the decent people we encounter along the way. Spending time with older individuals, we feel sad at their physical or other limitations, it can depress us a bit. But truth is we never can tell when that acquaintance might suddenly show us another side to their wisdom, gifts or understanding. People are real gifts!
Love your new hairstyle. Looks good. I retired and moved to be closer to my sista and she's still working. Everytime we get together I listen to her complain about her job. Mainly her co-workers and the customers and I think to myself thank God I'm retired. I don't worry about not having any close friends anymore. I actually enjoy myself. Lol. No drama when your by yourself. Loving my life. It's very peaceful.
I love bookstores too, as well as libraries and can spend hours in both! I love to travel but I prefer to do it alone, although I have gone with groups of women going on Goddess Spirituality Groups, I don’t mind paying extra for my own room because I have found that I am an ambivert, meaning I have both extrovert and introverted tendencies. Also traveling alone many people assume that I’m alone so they will talk to me, invite me to sit with their friends or families, etc. When I was in Denmark a couple of years ago I was trying to find H.C. Andersen’s childhood home so I asked a local and she didn’t know but wanted to find out where it was because she was embarrassed that as a local she didn’t know her own ‘tourist’ spots. It turned quite into an adventure and I ended up meeting several locals who conversed in English because they didn’t want me to feel excluded. I found the house and saw it from a different angle that I wouldn’t have had if I had found it in the first place without needing any help! And the locals wanted to become my Facebook friends so that they could learn about North America from an actual citizen instead of on the News!
What a timely video! I lost my husband of 47 years a year ago. He was my best friend, too. Widowed in a pandemic made me lonelier than I could have ever imagined. This is the first time I've ever lived alone. I have no relatives nearby. I'm still being VERY careful as the vaccination rate in my area is abysmal. It isn't the time for shopping in person or getting back into volunteer work. Even if I toy with the idea of going someplace to meet people, most of the events I'm interested in are at night and I can't safely drive at night. I've always been a homebody for the most part, but that was with my husband! We were content alone together. Being alone all the time is horrible. It would be nice to have friends who weren't online.
I'm in the same boat. Lost my husband of 56 yrs last year. It's been hard. Joined a widows group and it has made a different. But it is still hard to find true friends.
As usual - an on the button issue that is most certainly affecting me in retirement. Just knowing it is a normal circumstance makes me feel a little better about it. Thank you. On a lighter note - Margaret you are looking more stylish and younger with each new video - keep this up and you can do a 40’s and me show !
I moved to a new city just before the pandemic and spent a lot of time by myself until I found some great local groups on meetup. I joined two book clubs that have been meeting by zoom but are starting up in person next month. I am just about to start volunteering at the library and I will be taking a pottery class at the community college. Also many U.S. universities have "Olli Osher" programs or other "college for senior" programs. The one here is still doing classes only on zoom for the summer but will be back to in-person learning in the fall. So many opportunities. I am a bit shy and being outgoing is a challenge but I can't sit home forever and hope someone knocks on my door.
I’ve always had a difficult time making friends. After some unfortunate experiences, caution is my byword. It takes a lot to make friends and some are able to produce friendships easier than others. Being an introvert brings its own challenges too.
If you volunteer somewhere you're doing good. If you go there regularly you also meet people who do the same and care about the same things you do. It's rare to meet someone if you visit a place one time. But if you are somewhere on a regular basis it is more likely to form a connection
Good Morning Margaret, Your hair looks So Pretty. YES SOME OF MY FRIENDS HAVE PASSED AWAY. I get out with my Brother and Sister in law on the weekends. Thank You for this inspiring Video. Have a Nice Day.
They move. They pass away. Younger people don't seem interested. I'm getting closer to some cousins that are younger but now retired. You just have to keep looking.
I was made redundant in February and dont have any real friends apart from 1 lady i knew from school. Having depression for many years work was quite important to me and i miss chatting to customers. I go out as much as i can and i sit in the coffee shop reading and relaxing. Thankyou for your interesting chats on here, your hair style is lovely it really suits you xx
I think that a lot of people suffer from fear of rejection, I know I do, so we don't try and often when conversing with others and listening to them talk about all their friends and family it puts me off and I find myself thinking "well they don't need me, they're obviously abounding in company". Also rarely does anyone offer invitations for coffee etc, I guess they have their own lives
Hi Margaret. I'm 61, long retired and single. I long to make friends but am finding it real hard while in lockdown. Thank you so much for the suggestions you shared on your video. 👍😘
I took up bodyboarding at 65 with a woman I met at the post office in town. We now have a group of women of all ages-some older than me! I’ve also started e-mountain biking with my husband and have met great people!
Thanks Margaret! Having a dog gets me out into the neighborhood ... gets me to the park... he is an instant ice breaker! I also have made friends on IG, and on Fb... as well as with a couple of Utubers! At our ages we know that it is quality not quantity ... so perhaps we are more discerning when it comes to friendships... Have a wonderful day, and Keep Yourself Well & Present in Love, Light, & Gratitude...💚
I find this true for me. My best friend passed away at age 73, about four years ago. I move to a new community three years ago and finding new, REAL friends has been a bit hard. I'm not a church going person so friendship there are not for me. I found joining our senior center to be a place to fine some new friends of like mind. I also joined out local community garden and found a like minded couple friends for us.
I am a 72 year old widow. Up until the last year and a bit I had a lovely bunch of women friends. Even with the pandemic, we talked on the phone, met outdoors distancing, so there was some normalcy. Then, my 3 best friends died within six months of each other. My social world fell apart. I think about my friends and all that has been lost. For months I just sat with my dog watching TV. The phone no longer rang. After months of isolation, I have adjusted to being alone which isn't necessarily the best thing. But this past Fall I thought I had better try to make new connections. I am doing volunteering phoning other people socially who are isolated, I joined a chair yoga class at my local seniors' centre. Your suggestions have sparked me to look into some online or zoom groups to connect. I long for a day in the not too distant future when a new normal will be established so I can get out again.
How did you find a group that calls the socially isolated? I love to talk on the phone but so many people don't...I recently got a "phone friend" from calling in to local talk radio..but after he initiated it..I usually have to do the calling...so I decided to stop and see what happens. I just try to get outside to work on my plants and am content with the short chats of people passing by...but I would love to find more phone friends because I have physical limitations due to an old work accident... I would think a lot of older people are in the same position.
Thanks for all your helpful suggestions. It takes energy to be always initiating conversation but you're right. If you just keep trying you will meet some like minded individuals. You've given me a bit if courage to try again. Thanks
I ❤️ what you began, I’ve never had problems making friends. I was always gregarious, but now my back keeps me at home. I live in pain 24/7. What I’d love, would be a cruise for oldies. I love swimming❤️❤️👍
Lost friends because of divorce and now some are dying ‘early’ . Making new friends is hard work and ive very little money to go anywhere with …. Catch 22,
I’ve been walking five miles every day and I talk to everyone along the way, or at least make eye contact and say hello. People are starved for socialization after being locked down for so long. Now, people who live in the areas I’ve been walking know me by sight at least and they wave and say hello. I even know the names of people’s dogs now, too, after running into them on their walks.
I am always amazed how many older women do not even consider having a roommate. Perhaps a woman of a similar age. Not only does it help with your income but also gives you some nice conversation when YOU BOTH want it.
@@kimp7977 a person of a certain age should careless what “people” think. Who are these people? Why do they matter? If they’re not solving one’s loneliness problem then they should be irrelevant in someone else’s choices. Been there, done that. Roommate idea sounds like a solution.
I had two good friends and one sadly passed on 5 years ago. Now I have only one friend. I know a few people to chat with and have the odd coffee with but not regularly. I've never in my life had friends to go shopping with for example. I always go shopping by myself. I'd love a few friends to just go out with, like to the cinema or theatre but I cannot be bothered now to put in so much effort 😂
Thank you for this video, it is difficult to make friends in my baby boomer yrs. Family is so important, but some of my children have moved out of state and the others are so busy with their own lives. Friends have died or moved away, it is difficult, but my husband and I walk the trails here in summer and I spend time with my grandchildren, garden etc
So glad I've found your channel. I'm a little younger than 60 and just lost my better half a couple of weeks ago. We spent most of our spare time together, socializing with only a few people. So, now that he is gone, I'm wondering how I'm going to do socially on my own. Luckily I have kept in touch over the years with a dear friend I met before my husband and she has let me lean on her heavily. I know it will get better and I'll probably surprise myself. I'm down with the crafts (I'm a knitter), I just need to get my mojo back. And the dogs, there's always someone stopping to chat when walking the dogs. They've been a real comfort and you can't dwell too deeply in your grief when they have needs.
Kudos to you for putting these excellent ideas out there. Reading through the comments, I was quite saddened by the number of people caught up in all the reasons why they couldn't make friends. Yes, there are risks to putting yourself 'out there'. Yes, there are some our age that want nothing more than to complain about their various ailments. Etc, etc, etc. But there's so many wonderful things to learn and experience and explore! I hope everyone who truly wants friends to share those things with, will find them. I believe it's possible, but will we take the risk?
Hello Margaret. You look so pretty today. White is very nice on you. 🌹 This is such a good topic. The lockdown has made made it difficult. Here in Ontario we are still in lockdown. We can’t really socialize. I walk a lot. So I have met some women that I see regularly, when I walk. When we do meet we chat a little. There are a couple of neighbours that I’m getting to know a little better. We have decided to get together for coffee occasionally as things open up. I have hobbies like gardening, knitting, needlepoint and reading. They pass the time. I am looking forward to being able to go out more freely and spend time with people. Thank you.
I really enjoyed your ideas! I am 83 and really have missed the contact with friends. I am glad to see people again. I have suggested lunch or walking with ladies who walk by my house. It is a little hard to suggest it, but have met with a good response and now have a new friend and we walk once a week. Are you in Switzerland? I think you mentioned that. We loved traveling and hiking there and have been there 23 times! My husband’s ashes are scattered there and now my daughter goes with me (or will again once we can travel!)
Love your chanel, I am new. Great ideas. At this point in my life, I found my family is distant and they are not keen on traditional holiday gatherings(even before covid) Friends are my foundation and I am grateful for the ideas. I am just into 60 and so surprised at how many friends have moved away. It is difficult to meet new people but I will try thanks to your ideas. Be well everyone , I feel truly blessed and grateful and feel this new chapter is going to be the best yet 😉
Wonderful to see you, you look lovely. Good ideas that I needed to hear! I’ve always been an introvert, Covid has made me a hermit. I am fully vaccinated and starting to venture out. I still wear a mask if others are close. As your friend in the jewelry store said, I tend to run in a store, grab what I need and run out. Trying to allow myself to loosen up a little.
Margaret, age sometimes changes what we love to do into that dreadful phrase "used to." I used to read in bookstores--until my eyes aged out and relegated me to Kindle only. Same for things I used to do with my now-arthritic fingers and all the rest. It's like I turned into a different person with few active interests in the past ten years. It started at 64. Ten years later--I had no idea.
I've been retired on disability for almost 30 years now. Work relationships fizzled soon after. I basically spent the last 30 years raising my kids and grandkids. I feel very fortunate but at the same tims, very stuck and alone. Being single for 9 years doesn't help. Introverted too. I want to make new friends but it always seems so hard to do.
It DOES seem hard to do. For me, the trick was to figure out what I'M actually interested in. I started with metal detecting, which led to gold panning, which led to joining a gold club, and now I have many acquaintances and a few friends to share an activity I already enjoy. It's been a real blessing. There's so much to learn... what piques your interest?
I agree, this is much needed. I never thought I would ever be in a position like this. My two lifelong friends both died at relatively young ages, and the many social friends now live elsewhere. Now that covid restrictions are lifting, I guess it's a matter of finding clubs or classes where like minded people might congregate, but it won't necessarily be easy!
You are a very lovely person. Was delighted to find your patreon program. As for mself, am 78, single, have good health and still working selling real estate. I love this outlet to be able to meet people although most are not in my age category. It is very difficult to just find a group that likes to go to concerts, plays and art shows. Your subject today was so relative to what most of us struggle with at this point in our lives. Thank you from Wichita, Kansas!
We moved so much all my life. We relocated in 2014 and it has been so difficult to make new friends. It's like everywhere I go, the cliques are from that town. We live in a 55+ community, but after covid people are so different 😕
I loved your programme regarding women over 70. I found that a lot of progammes is for over 60+. And i certainly found their is a big change between 60+ as being over 70. I live in South Africa and would love to chat with women over 70. I love art, hiking being out in nature. I was so active and now i cant go hiking, ive also travelled a lot in the past, but i found my shoulders and arms are just not so strong anymore .
Really enjoying your channel. Just turned 60 in November, in Arizona, USA. Love your new hairstyle. Going to check out your "story" today. What a great idea!
Some silver linings during covid include tech stuff to be able to meet folks all over the world. Access has been amazing. But I’m retiring this summer, mostly bc I can (ish) and also bc my job just isn’t what it used to be. Loved the human interaction, chaos of the days, now it’s all me, my computer and zoom appointments. I so miss my old job, but I won’t miss this new version. I’m soon to be 59, and looking forward to knowing more of this great community.
Hi! You look so great! So elegant! I'm 61 in a new area and a full time nanny granny to 2 toddlers. Between that and the pandemic I've been very isolated. My career was in the food service industry and HECTIC! Lots of people always around. It took me some time to adjust to being home all the time and now I'm ready to make a friend or two. Thanks for the tips!
I am happy to hear the suggestion about talking to people! I have been doing this for quite a while, and it is fun. If I see someone with a beautiful ring, skirt, whatever, I tell them as well. It makes me feel good when someone does that to me, so hopefully I also make them feel good. I haven't made friends this way, but it is cheery! When I had to retire early from my really great job at an art museum, I also had to move to a new town - due to my husband's work. It was dreadful - conservative, clique-ey, etc. I did try, but failed. My Facebook friends were my salvation! I eventually met one in person, and was invited to join her little group of facebook-now-in-real-life friends. What a great bunch of women! Now we have moved to where they live, and I have them nearby! And that is a start! So the online thing can really work.
The only way I make friends is by travelling, meeting other single travellers or expats who have moved to another country. Meetup has been great. I always look up a group before I go to a new place. Not much luck in my neighbourhood.
Hi Margaret- I like your hair short, very nice look. 7 years single since my divorce after 24 years of marriage. I have a couple of close friends but their married and don’t live close by so I have had to start making new friends. This is work, kinda like dating 😊 it takes time to really get to know people and for them to get to know you. Thank goodness for Meet Up but I probably should get involved a bit more in activities. Retiring in 2 months and planning to volunteer or attend more social activities then. When my mom became a widow she too, had to make new friends and a new social life for herself. Couples usually like hanging with other couples and a single woman can really be 5th wheel unless you’re very close with the women already
I am in my mid 50s and I've just moved to a new town. I am so lonely. My Mother died 3 years ago and I am so lonely. I work 3 14 hour days three days a week, so It's hard to get excited about going somewhere on my days off. However, I would make the effort.
U3A activities are a great way to meet new people doing activities you enjoy. I have a close group of church friends through our growth group. Community activities like water aerobics at the local pool or yoga can be good. I’ve also made real life friends with people I play in Words with Friends online who I chat to. I’ve met for lunch, coffee and swapped books with them. Be friendly and open to making new friends. There are women’s only travel groups and tours. Good way to meet new friends.
Hi Margaret. I have an idea if you love books. I joined a little corner of TH-cam last August Called book tube. I made a video on my 70th birthday in August and now I have almost 700 subscribers or as I like to call them-friends. You don’t have to be an extrovert, there are many introverts on the platform and we do things together like read-athon’s buddy reads etc.I’m able to be zany online and and still be my loner self when I’m so inclined. Also I get to play with make up and dress up even when there’s no place to go. Thank you for your advice. Sending friendly vibes from Hawai’i. Aloha
@@sylviacarlson3561 In todays world people have become so flaky, unkind. Instead of using things while valuing other people, too many out there will value things then use other people. No thanks.
Wow! Sucks to be you! It's true more people have become unkind, but I prefer the outlook that I'll kiss a few frogs to find a prince! ( gender neutral, and not necessarily actually kissing 😉) Real friendship is worth the risk. Just sayin'.
@@FreeSpirit47 I can’t resist saying this to you I hope it’s helpful … what you focus on you attract. Try picking out the positive in people you interact with. You may have to dig deep at 1st but it will become easier & I promise if you work hard at it your mindset will change.
@@krishannam1346 Actually, it's wonderful to be me. Success came to me later than I would have wanted, I'm stll grateful that it did. Having more freedom, more career satisfaction, more money. All of these. Life has become happier, more peaceful with flashes of excitement here & there. 🥰 I could not have accomplished all that I have if the fake friends were hanging around. It was only when I pared my group from the fakes to the true friends that life began to take off & fly for me.
I NEVER,EVER thought I'd feel lonely being by myself.But this is the first time I have no man in my life. I miss a man's presence, plus I'm in VA and my family are all in PA.
My boyfriend and I are considering fulltime RVing after we retire. I have heard from so many RVers that the RV community is very friendly. Would others here agree? Just curious. . . .
All the friends I've made have been while walking my dog. They would stop to talk to Radar. I was known as.Radars mom. Unfortunately I moved 3 times in the last 4yrs and lost my best friend, my dog, 3yrs ago. Now only able to stay in touch with one long distance friend. When I walk people walk past with a mere word. They walk much faster than i can. I walk with a cane and rarely drive. Too old for a new dog as I wouldn't want him to out live me. Sad!
friendships have to be cultivated and connected. I don't have the time for friends.I would like my life to bee as when I was younger but I do a lot of family caregiving that I don't want to be doing. But it has to be done. I fear that I will die and I have always taken care of others needs and my time will run out. znd those people won't even recall my name
I retired at the end of January from a life of working in an office atmosphere. In early May I noticed a now hiring sign in a local florist. I know nothing about arranging flowers but she hired me to assist in getting flowers prepared and I'm learning about flowers and helping people purchase and order arrangements. Maybe I'll try my hand at arranging!
Go for it!!
It sounds ideal, Congratulations! :- )
Great!
Go ahead and try it, you have nothing to lose. Any skills you learn on one job , some are always transferable to the next job you get, whether paid or unpaid work. Good luck in your future endeavors.
Great! Stay engaged as long as possible. You can pick and choose what you like to do. Be thrifty. God bless you.
My relationship with our UPS driver may mean a little more to me than it does to him...
Maybe I should branch out a bit 😂
I have a postal carrier like that! And he is not even my postal carrier! My dog loves him and he my dog... it's a friendly face in the neighborhood!
I love this. Funny, but so true. I think mine might be the Amazon people😊❤️
😂
You're funny!
Well, you may never know just what you do for him!
I've lost all my friends from high school, retired and moved away from L.A. I never was able to make new friends because when my son died, I went into a long deoression. Then I divorced my adulterous husband. I'm feeling much better now. So hopefully I might find a group of like minded people. Thanks for the encouragement!
Hi Sue, yes, I think I understand some of your feelings. My son is alive but he choose to be estranged so almost as if he die. Difficult to make friends at our age especially in this pandemic. L.A. is not easy to cultivate friendships. Sad really! Take care, hope for the best!
We have all gone through challenges. After time you get tired of drama that comes with them.
I’m so sorry you lost your child…..& nothing worse than an cheater husband…..but the good news is you can trust being with self. You don’t need anyone else’s troubles….enjoy your peace🙏
So much in common with both of you women in L A.
I'm from Srilanka love to make friends
Honestly, I’d rather be by myself anyway after raising a family all those years I welcome a little time for myself. Plus, I’ve never been able to live up to the standards that friendships require.
I Love your honesty Laura, your comment stood out to me, I can relate very much to what you said...
I agree with you on that. I’m the same way.
And all their drama will drag you down
Had a friend over 50 years and sadly things happened. We talk but friend ship destroyed. It about destroyed me. Better not to get close to people.
I feel the same because dealing with so-called friends is draining for me; I absolutely detest gossiping yet that is all some want to do.
I became a widow and moved to another State all at the beginning of COVID pandemic. Needless to say that led to isolation and loneliness. I have been lonely and dying to make new friends. I found a group of wonderful women and a few men at the dog park whom have become dear friends. We meet each day at the same time for a couple hours with our fur babies. These women have included me in their lives and also their lunch get togethers. I’m so grateful for these wonderful new friends.
It sounds like you are creating a beautiful life. Congratulations on working through a tough time. 🌺
I've realised that if I needed a ride for a medical procedure there isn't anyone I could ask. That is sad. I live in a rural area. I used to be involved with a charity but that has been on hold, but they still aren't 'friends'. Cutting out all the people who were taking advantage of me financially really showed how few true friends I have. My son lives nearby but only calls when he wants money (there seems to be a theme here). Thinking about a village in Albania or something where maybe people are closer knit just for survival :)
@heather I realized sometime ago I am in the same situation! And in case of emergency- I have no family, so really ....its hard if u work alone, live alone...Take care
In the same boat!😪
How’s it going Heather…I’m hoping you find true friend ship..I want the same for me….I’m thinking of doing volunteer work with the elderly …I’m hoping this will help. It’s a double edged sword with the elderly…they pass away and leave you feeling incredible sadness which never really leaves you…but the look in their eyes when they see is priceless..they make me feel so needed and appreciated…I want to be people who genuinely need me . I had a very old uncle who never had visitors expect for me…
He thought I was Jesus when I came by…I started to visit quite often , I wanted to do it for him, but it made me feel loved too..
But once he passed it was the saddest day and I still cry and it’s been years…..😓
Same boat
When a woman gets divorced after a long marriage of 15 - 25 years, most people who she thought were her friends will desert her, will polarize toward the ex husband along with his new wife or girlfriend. Even the children, her family members will abandon her. I saw this happen many times, it was a shock each time I saw it happen.
Brenda B - who are these people? I found that the "Couples" my ex-husband and I were close with I never heard from again after our divorce. They were his friends before we hooked up. I disagree with you about your family. Why would your family members abandon you? Mine didn't. What would be the point unless you were a Jehovah Witness and strayed.
Can relate to that, wrnt through the same.. ❤️
@@sylviacarlson3561 I'm not religious at all. No one in my immediate family plus very very few in my extended family had divorced. I initiated the divorce, the marriage had gone bad was getting worse. I filed, paid all the fees. My family was angry with me for divorcing. Many of them still are.
It makes zero sense to me, at first I was outraged & hurt. Now, I accept it. I divorced for my greater happiness, I decided to be happy no matter what, so, I am.
Brenda B When I read your post I wondered if I had written it! It is somewhat shocking that some who have been in a relatively close circle, will be forced to chose. Some wives feel obligated because husbands are threatened by divorce & want to show support to the male friend, or when a husband has passed, some wives feel threatened by a newly single woman. Of course your really GOOD friends don't desert you, but if you're like me, I went for quality over quantity and sadly people pass away, and not always when they are aged.
True. Couples only socialize with other couples, and if you're no longer part of a couple they wash their hands of you, no matter how long the friendship.
I recently made a new friend on Next Door. We both had commented on some community happenings and seemed to have like minds. I invited her out for coffee. She is lovely and I really felt great about stepping outside my comfort zone by extending my friendship. We’ve only got one life to live, about time to step outside the box!
This may sound snarky but people my age that I've met act OLD. I don't have a table full of Rxs to take every day. I constantly find new things to learn about. This is a great time. But finding like-minded souls is damn near impossible.
You do sound snarky.
Jenna - can't you find new friends in the areas where you are "constantly finding new things to learn about?"
Jenna - I have to respectfully disagree. Who says "like minded people" and "people my age" have to be one and the same? I was the oldest person in my entire college, yet managed to have friendships with some there that have endured the past 20 years. We continue to inspire each other, and I'm honored to count them among my friends. It can be a challenge to break through the younger generation's perception of your age, but that can also be a two way street. If you see a younger person engaged in your favorite hobby, do you approach them, or write them off because they're of a different generation? Could be some missed opportunities there.
I tend to find some people do focus on the fact that they're getting old, making jokes about it, maybe that helps them to cope with it or something. I will not get involved in that conversation even if it is in jest, maybe that's my way of coping with it. I don't feel old nor do I think old, even if the mirror says otherwise. I have a few annoying aches here and there but I don't assume they're sticking around and I look for natural ways of eliminating them. If I am ever asked what medications I'm on people/health professionals are always surprised when i say 'none'. Perhaps I look like I should be! 🤪😁
Wow. Even people who have a "tray full of medications" to take every day deserve friendship.
Yes, this hits home for me. It’s so hard to meet new friends . And even though I’m an artist and belong to a watercolor guild we haven’t had a meeting in over a year. But even before the pandemic I found it difficult. I live alone and it would be so nice to have some women friends to get together with.
Tallahassee Florida 🌴
Same here, it's difficult, Nashville
@@sableann4255 yes, also difficult in Indiana
Most of my friends have passed away. Making new ones is so hard because women are competitive with one another. I had made a friend recently that I cherished and gave her all kinds of moral support through her problems. She was really looking for a drinking buddy and I couldn’t be that so that friendship ended.
some friends are still active and open to occasional lunches and dinners and it takes effort to organize these gatherings. thanks to church and my spiritual meditation group I have a several close friends who are tremendous support mutual, of course. book clubs meeting online during the pandemic were a source of community as well as providing robust discussions of the monthly selection. as for the drinking buddy, I learned when the daily drinker friend realized I am committed to a sober lifestyle she didn't stick around.
Yes! Exactly. I tried to befriend a really nice gal who visits 1/2 the year here with her daughter and grandbaby. She didn't keep in touch except when she wanted to go out for Happy Hours. During the lockdown I'd invite her over , put out a spread and serve expensive wines. Got tired of doing that 🙄
I find it difficult to meet friends because I've generally "lost faith" in people over the years. I've had friendships over the course of my life, from as way back as high school, where I discovered that they weren't really my friend at all. Every time it has happened has made me lose more and more faith in people.
It can be very, VERY difficult to find people who genuinely like you, want the best for you and who don't have some ulterior motive in pursuing a friendship with you, not to mention isn't just secretly jealous of you. I've had that happen several times. And, God forbid you have physical problems. It's like you have the plague or something. Like some who posted here, if you have any physical issues at all, or take several medications, they want nothing to do with you. Good friends come in all ages, physical levels, etc.
Sounds like you and I have a lot in common. I’ve been very unlucky with friends and family. Many times I’ve questioned whether there was something wrong with me. Yep!! it was my good heart .
@@illuminata8097 I hear you. I grew up in the family from hell. SO much discord, lack of unity, jealousy and backbiting. I think because of my family experience, I really needed to find genuine friends, not just surface ones. Unfortunately, time after time throughout my life, people I really felt were true friends have been shown to not have the truest of feelings for me that I thought they had.
It's been deeply bewildering, because I'm a good person and I know people can see that. But, as I'm getting older, I find myself just not expecting much from people, because I'm so tired of being disappointed. I try not to dwell on that, but instead focus on the things I'm thankful for. Still, there is definitely a hole there where friends should be.
Totally agree. No true friends in my life.
I can SOOOOO relate. I am not a negative Nellie at all, it truly is just fact. I have tried in so many ways and it’s literally always the same. I don’t want anything from anyone except true friendship and don’t understand why I can’t find someone like that too.
Having a physical disability or illness pretty much makes it truly difficult if not impossible to not only make new friends but keep old healthy ones.
It's very hurtful. It has happened to me. I'm still the same person inside, just not physically able to do the the fun physical things I did before. Sad world.
My mother was a wonderful role model for me. In her 80s after my father died she relocated to my area and desperately needed friendship of women her age. She would talk to everyone and do you know where she made her best friend standing in line at the grocery store. She joined senior groups, but her best friend was met standing in line at the grocery store. So putting ourselves out there, being warm and kind to all we meet will help us find friends as we get older. You have some wonderful suggestions in this video, Margaret. Thank you! ❤️
Thank you so much Sandra for sharing and being such a wonderful inspiration for so many women! If you are reading this comment and have not checked out Sandra's TH-cam channel please do! x Margaret
@@sixtyandme ❤️ Thank you!
Hello Sandra, I also enjoy your videos 😊 and I love just striking up conversations with people, rather like your mother x
During the first stages of the pandemic, when I called all of my friends regularly because I missed everyone so much, I found out that some people were "activity friends" and a couple were more "true friends" (deeper level). If I had to call that person a second (or third) time, then I knew she really didn't care about our "friendship". I have learned over the 1.5 yrs of lockdown how to manage friendships, establish and maintain my boundaries, and when to speak up for myself. Before pandemic, I went on so many activities (meet ups; sports teams; walking/hiking groups, etc.) hoping to meet a new friend; I would end up disappointed. Now I have learned to go on the activity just to enjoy myself, keep active, learn a new skill/sport, and maybe have a nice conversation with someone new (even though I may never meet that person again). It is best (for me) to go on these activities with no expectations of making a new friend. Then, if I do meet someone and we feel comfortable to exchange contact information, it is a bonus. Going on the activity (despite not making a new friend) is better than staying home alone. I have walked my dog for ten years and spoken to dozens of other dog owners during our walks but have made only one "true friend" from that activity. It is very difficult to make "true friends" as we get older. Best wishes.
Yes. This I understand completely.
God bless you. I pray you will find a small circle of true friends. Going to a small church Bible study, or Sunday school single women’s group can be a great place for comfort & friends. But walking into any large group usually is a lonely frustratingly experience.
Like I’ve always told my kids when they were younger, “To have friends, you need to be a friend!”
But do not be a doormat or get taken advantage of. I'm in my 50s and I'm finally learning about "boundaries". Be careful, everyone.
You have hit the nail on the head! I am so glad to find this group. You are truly appreciated. I am so lonely.
God Bless
Hello Kay, I am sending you a warm hug 🤗 lots of sunshine and an encouraging smile which extends from ear to ear🌺😊
@@susannah8986 I wish you lived closer. Your a sweetheart 💕 have a good week.
Have you ever tried doing voluntary work even for a few hours a week. That would be a good way to make friends with like minded people.
Margaret... this hair style really suits you.
Hi Margaret, I periodically come visit your site and I found this video this morning. Thank you. It was very cheering, full of good advice. I'm 63 years wise, married but living in quite an isolated rural town in the south of France, Australian originally. We've been here 5 years now. Different culture and language challenges have added to the loneliness 'feel', and I miss like a stab in my heart daily my daughter and grandkids still living in Australia. To stop from going mad during these lockdowns on top of it all, I've started sewing again, and now I'm making and designing my own designs that I prob shock the locals with. I'm also an artist and writer and whilst these activities fill one part of my soul good friendship is sorely missing. I must get out more and talk in my halting French to ... anyone!!! I've come to think loneliness is physically painful. I'm thinking I'll join your Patreon group. This can't go on any longer. I have sewn already, 12 new summer dresses waiting in my wardrobe and nowhere to wear them to ... merci for the kind work you do for us.
Hi Majena I identified with your post here in an opposite kind of way. I live in Australia (Sydney) with my husband but both our kids (sons) are now living in Europe. The younger one moved to Berlin just recently. Whilst I have some close friends here, I miss them both very much.
Have you thought of selling your sewing creations? Are there local markets where you can rent a table and sell? Might be a great way to meet other sellers and people who like to sew. Just a thought.
I m a woman, 58 y 😊
So so real “I've come to think loneliness is physically painful.”
👗🪡👗
I am having difficulty meeting other women, my husband and I relocated for my husbands work ..to a very small remote area..I have to travel 80 + miles to shop so doing my normal activities no longer exist. I am retired and of the boomer generation..I am finding it really hard to think of new ways to meet new friends but you have given me a few ideas..thank you! I don’t really like zoom meetings but maybe I need to try more & get out of my comfort zone. I love watching your channel ..thank you again for doing this kind of video and yes loneliness is real and can cause depression which I have and I am now experiencing. I recently lost my beautiful fur baby..she helped me with the lonely issue..not ready to get a new one just yet as I am still healing from my loss . Have a great week😘🌷
Sorry to hear of the loss of your fur baby. That loss can certainly leave a hole in your heart. Be certain the next one will find you when the time is right.
I was one of those stupid, stupid mothers who made her children and family her whole life … having millennial daughters I have been judged harshly and have been ostracised/exiled horribly. For the first time in my life I understand loneliness. I was one of the popular ‘kids’ and then a mother for so long … loneliness is a complete unknown to me. Until now. When I literally have no-one else. I don’t know where to start, although I do have hobbies I’m interested in, I feel like a thirsty desperate old lady and don’t know where to start. Thank you for the inspiration 🌹❤️
Your story is so common. 😢
Becoming a compulsive knitter has been my over-reaction to the lockdowns, and there is so much on TH-cam knitting groups (instruction, Arne & Carlos just chatting, blogs etc., I don’t feel the need to make new friends. Yet do have 1 friend who I take the dogs out for walks with, but I can’t help engaging with other dog owners and children along the way, So often I include strangers in on our conversations. Finding and maintaining a real friend, though, is a great gift. But I think we’ve lost our ability to recognise and appreciate the decent people we encounter along the way. Spending time with older individuals, we feel sad at their physical or other limitations, it can depress us a bit. But truth is we never can tell when that acquaintance might suddenly show us another side to their wisdom, gifts or understanding. People are real gifts!
Love your new hairstyle. Looks good. I retired and moved to be closer to my sista and she's still working. Everytime we get together I listen to her complain about her job. Mainly her co-workers and the customers and I think to myself thank God I'm retired. I don't worry about not having any close friends anymore. I actually enjoy myself. Lol. No drama when your by yourself. Loving my life. It's very peaceful.
I love bookstores too, as well as libraries and can spend hours in both! I love to travel but I prefer to do it alone, although I have gone with groups of women going on Goddess Spirituality Groups, I don’t mind paying extra for my own room because I have found that I am an ambivert, meaning I have both extrovert and introverted tendencies. Also traveling alone many people assume that I’m alone so they will talk to me, invite me to sit with their friends or families, etc.
When I was in Denmark a couple of years ago I was trying to find H.C. Andersen’s childhood home so I asked a local and she didn’t know but wanted to find out where it was because she was embarrassed that as a local she didn’t know her own ‘tourist’ spots. It turned quite into an adventure and I ended up meeting several locals who conversed in English because they didn’t want me to feel excluded. I found the house and saw it from a different angle that I wouldn’t have had if I had found it in the first place without needing any help! And the locals wanted to become my Facebook friends so that they could learn about North America from an actual citizen instead of on the News!
Your shorter haircut looks really great!
I also began water aerobics and am enjoying meeting new people this way. The same group meets three days a week and it’s been so therapeutic for me.
What a timely video! I lost my husband of 47 years a year ago. He was my best friend, too. Widowed in a pandemic made me lonelier than I could have ever imagined. This is the first time I've ever lived alone. I have no relatives nearby. I'm still being VERY careful as the vaccination rate in my area is abysmal. It isn't the time for shopping in person or getting back into volunteer work. Even if I toy with the idea of going someplace to meet people, most of the events I'm interested in are at night and I can't safely drive at night. I've always been a homebody for the most part, but that was with my husband! We were content alone together. Being alone all the time is horrible. It would be nice to have friends who weren't online.
Hello their . I’m sorry for you’re loss. If you like to talk please let me know
I'm in the same boat. Lost my husband of 56 yrs last year. It's been hard. Joined a widows group and it has made a different. But it is still hard to find true friends.
Try googling Modern Widows Club and there might be a club near you. It's a national club.
As usual - an on the button issue that is most certainly affecting me in retirement. Just knowing it is a normal circumstance makes me feel a little better about it. Thank you. On a lighter note - Margaret you are looking more stylish and younger with each new video - keep this up and you can do a 40’s and me show !
I moved to a new city just before the pandemic and spent a lot of time by myself until I found some great local groups on meetup. I joined two book clubs that have been meeting by zoom but are starting up in person next month. I am just about to start volunteering at the library and I will be taking a pottery class at the community college. Also many U.S. universities have "Olli Osher" programs or other "college for senior" programs. The one here is still doing classes only on zoom for the summer but will be back to in-person learning in the fall. So many opportunities. I am a bit shy and being outgoing is a challenge but I can't sit home forever and hope someone knocks on my door.
Great ideas!
I’ve always had a difficult time making friends. After some unfortunate experiences, caution is my byword. It takes a lot to make friends and some are able to produce friendships easier than others. Being an introvert brings its own challenges too.
If you volunteer somewhere you're doing good. If you go there regularly you also meet people who do the same and care about the same things you do. It's rare to meet someone if you visit a place one time. But if you are somewhere on a regular basis it is more likely to form a connection
Good Morning Margaret, Your hair looks So Pretty. YES SOME OF MY FRIENDS HAVE PASSED AWAY. I get out with my Brother and Sister in law on the weekends. Thank You for this inspiring Video. Have a Nice Day.
I agree, realy is pretty
They move. They pass away. Younger people don't seem interested. I'm getting closer to some cousins that are younger but now retired. You just have to keep looking.
Very true, sadly after 60 you don't find too many people who have time or interest to build relationships with.
@@michaelsix9684 I hadn't thought about it, but of course men are having the same problem. Good luck.
I was made redundant in February and dont have any real friends apart from 1 lady i knew from school. Having depression for many years work was quite important to me and i miss chatting to customers. I go out as much as i can and i sit in the coffee shop reading and relaxing. Thankyou for your interesting chats on here, your hair style is lovely it really suits you xx
I think that a lot of people suffer from fear of rejection, I know I do, so we don't try and often when conversing with others and listening to them talk about all their friends and family it puts me off and I find myself thinking "well they don't need me, they're obviously abounding in company". Also rarely does anyone offer invitations for coffee etc, I guess they have their own lives
Hi Margaret. I'm 61, long retired and single. I long to make friends but am finding it real hard while in lockdown. Thank you so much for the suggestions you shared on your video. 👍😘
I took up bodyboarding at 65 with a woman I met at the post office in town. We now have a group of women of all ages-some older than me! I’ve also started e-mountain biking with my husband and have met great people!
Thanks Margaret! Having a dog gets me out into the neighborhood ... gets me to the park... he is an instant ice breaker!
I also have made friends on IG, and on Fb... as well as with a couple of Utubers!
At our ages we know that it is quality not quantity ... so perhaps we are more discerning when it comes to friendships...
Have a wonderful day, and Keep Yourself Well & Present in Love, Light, & Gratitude...💚
It’s amazing what wonderful friendships we can make through social media.❤️
I find this true for me. My best friend passed away at age 73, about four years ago. I move to a new community three years ago and finding new, REAL friends has been a bit hard. I'm not a church going person so friendship there are not for me. I found joining our senior center to be a place to fine some new friends of like mind. I also joined out local community garden and found a like minded couple friends for us.
@Dan Scott please go away and don’t stalk vulnerable ladies…. Nasty!
I am a 72 year old widow. Up until the last year and a bit I had a lovely bunch of women friends. Even with the pandemic, we talked on the phone, met outdoors distancing, so there was some normalcy. Then, my 3 best friends died within six months of each other. My social world fell apart. I think about my friends and all that has been lost. For months I just sat with my dog watching TV. The phone no longer rang. After months of isolation, I have adjusted to being alone which isn't necessarily the best thing. But this past Fall I thought I had better try to make new connections. I am doing volunteering phoning other people socially who are isolated, I joined a chair yoga class at my local seniors' centre. Your suggestions have sparked me to look into some online or zoom groups to connect. I long for a day in the not too distant future when a new normal will be established so I can get out again.
✙❶❹❼⓿❸❾❻⓿❾❺❸💧⏰⏰⏰⏰⏰🎾🎾🎾🔥🔥🔥🎾🔥 what's app
How did you find a group that calls the socially isolated?
I love to talk on the phone but so many people don't...I recently got a "phone friend" from calling in to local talk radio..but after he initiated it..I usually have to do the calling...so I decided to stop and see what happens.
I just try to get outside to work on my plants and am content with the short chats of people passing by...but I would love to find more phone friends because I have physical limitations due to an old work accident...
I would think a lot of older people are in the same position.
You look fabulous. Great hair cut, perfect makeup & love the pearls & white top. Very classy. Great video.
Thanks for all your helpful suggestions. It takes energy to be always initiating conversation but you're right. If you just keep trying you will meet some like minded individuals. You've given me a bit if courage to try again. Thanks
I ❤️ what you began, I’ve never had problems making friends. I was always gregarious, but now my back keeps me at home. I live in pain 24/7. What I’d love, would be a cruise for oldies. I love swimming❤️❤️👍
Lost friends because of divorce and now some are dying ‘early’ . Making new friends is hard work and ive very little money to go anywhere with …. Catch 22,
I’ve been walking five miles every day and I talk to everyone along the way, or at least make eye contact and say hello. People are starved for socialization after being locked down for so long. Now, people who live in the areas I’ve been walking know me by sight at least and they wave and say hello. I even know the names of people’s dogs now, too, after running into them on their walks.
I am always amazed how many older women do not even consider having a roommate. Perhaps a woman of a similar age. Not only does it help with your income but also gives you some nice conversation when YOU BOTH want it.
I've considered a roommate, but the screening process is complicated, and I've seen horror stories about them squatting after the lease.
Then people think you are gay!
@@kimp7977 lol
@@kimp7977 a person of a certain age should careless what “people” think. Who are these people? Why do they matter? If they’re not solving one’s loneliness problem then they should be irrelevant in someone else’s choices. Been there, done that. Roommate idea sounds like a solution.
You have a point. @@Earthomo
Thank you for making such a positive and encouraging difference.
I had two good friends and one sadly passed on 5 years ago. Now I have only one friend. I know a few people to chat with and have the odd coffee with but not regularly. I've never in my life had friends to go shopping with for example. I always go shopping by myself. I'd love a few friends to just go out with, like to the cinema or theatre but I cannot be bothered now to put in so much effort 😂
By Grace - Well darling, if you can't be bothered to put in so much effort, then I guess that will explain why you don't have many friends.
Thank you for this video, it is difficult to make friends in my baby boomer yrs. Family is so important, but some of my children have moved out of state and the others are so busy with their own lives. Friends have died or moved away, it is difficult, but my husband and I walk the trails here in summer and I spend time with my grandchildren, garden etc
So glad I've found your channel. I'm a little younger than 60 and just lost my better half a couple of weeks ago. We spent most of our spare time together, socializing with only a few people. So, now that he is gone, I'm wondering how I'm going to do socially on my own. Luckily I have kept in touch over the years with a dear friend I met before my husband and she has let me lean on her heavily. I know it will get better and I'll probably surprise myself. I'm down with the crafts (I'm a knitter), I just need to get my mojo back. And the dogs, there's always someone stopping to chat when walking the dogs. They've been a real comfort and you can't dwell too deeply in your grief when they have needs.
Take care Sharon - sending love ❤️
@Dan Scott lol
Thank you for this helpful video Margaret! You look beautiful!
Kudos to you for putting these excellent ideas out there. Reading through the comments, I was quite saddened by the number of people caught up in all the reasons why they couldn't make friends.
Yes, there are risks to putting yourself 'out there'. Yes, there are some our age that want nothing more than to complain about their various ailments. Etc, etc, etc. But there's so many wonderful things to learn and experience and explore! I hope everyone who truly wants friends to share those things with, will find them. I believe it's possible, but will we take the risk?
Yea,boy do I relate; am 63,have virtually nobody. No family,a few acquaintances. Sad
Hello Margaret. You look so pretty today. White is very nice on you. 🌹
This is such a good topic. The lockdown has made made it difficult. Here in Ontario we are still in lockdown. We can’t really socialize. I walk a lot. So I have met some women that I see regularly, when I walk. When we do meet we chat a little. There are a couple of neighbours that I’m getting to know a little better. We have decided to get together for coffee occasionally as things open up. I have hobbies like gardening, knitting, needlepoint and reading. They pass the time. I am looking forward to being able to go out more freely and spend time with people. Thank you.
I am in Ontario too and know what you mean. It seems harder to make new friends when you are older.
@@gabrieledrewery5910 Absolutely. It is so difficult. 🌹
I really enjoyed your ideas! I am 83 and really have missed the contact with friends. I am glad to see people again. I have suggested lunch or walking with ladies who walk by my house. It is a little hard to suggest it, but have met with a good response and now have a new friend and we walk once a week. Are you in Switzerland? I think you mentioned that. We loved traveling and hiking there and have been there 23 times! My husband’s ashes are scattered there and now my daughter goes with me (or will again once we can travel!)
Love your chanel, I am new. Great ideas. At this point in my life, I found my family is distant and they are not keen on traditional holiday gatherings(even before covid) Friends are my foundation and I am grateful for the ideas. I am just into 60 and so surprised at how many friends have moved away. It is difficult to meet new people but I will try thanks to your ideas. Be well everyone , I feel truly blessed and grateful and feel this new chapter is going to be the best yet 😉
Wonderful to see you, you look lovely. Good ideas that I needed to hear! I’ve always been an introvert, Covid has made me a hermit.
I am fully vaccinated and starting to venture out. I still wear a mask if others are close. As your friend in the jewelry store said, I tend to run in a store, grab what I need and run out. Trying to allow myself to loosen up a little.
Yes, this hairstyle suits you 😊
Margaret, age sometimes changes what we love to do into that dreadful phrase "used to." I used to read in bookstores--until my eyes aged out and relegated me to Kindle only. Same for things I used to do with my now-arthritic fingers and all the rest. It's like I turned into a different person with few active interests in the past ten years. It started at 64. Ten years later--I had no idea.
I've been retired on disability for almost 30 years now. Work relationships fizzled soon after. I basically spent the last 30 years raising my kids and grandkids. I feel very fortunate but at the same tims, very stuck and alone. Being single for 9 years doesn't help. Introverted too. I want to make new friends but it always seems so hard to do.
It DOES seem hard to do. For me, the trick was to figure out what I'M actually interested in. I started with metal detecting, which led to gold panning, which led to joining a gold club, and now I have many acquaintances and a few friends to share an activity I already enjoy. It's been a real blessing. There's so much to learn... what piques your interest?
I like very much that you are addressing this issue. Thanks for making this video!
Such a useful & encouraging video. Thank you, Margaret, so very much.
I agree, this is much needed. I never thought I would ever be in a position like this. My two lifelong friends both died at relatively young ages, and the many social friends now live elsewhere. Now that covid restrictions are lifting, I guess it's a matter of finding clubs or classes where like minded people might congregate, but it won't necessarily be easy!
Wow, Margaret, I absolutely love the new haircut. So elegant.
I like your new hair style:)
You are a very lovely person. Was delighted to find your patreon program. As for mself, am 78, single, have good health and still working selling real estate. I love this outlet to be able to meet people although most are not in my age category. It is very difficult to just find a group that likes to go to concerts, plays and art shows. Your subject today was so relative to what most of us struggle with at this point in our lives. Thank you from Wichita, Kansas!
Your hair style in this vid really suits you; very chic!
We moved so much all my life. We relocated in 2014 and it has been so difficult to make new friends. It's like everywhere I go, the cliques are from that town. We live in a 55+ community, but after covid people are so different 😕
I loved your programme regarding women over 70. I found that a lot of progammes is for over 60+. And i certainly found their is a big change between 60+ as being over 70. I live in South Africa and would love to chat with women over 70. I love art, hiking being out in nature. I was so active and now i cant go hiking, ive also travelled a lot in the past, but i found my shoulders and arms are just not so strong anymore .
Really enjoying your channel. Just turned 60 in November, in Arizona, USA. Love your new hairstyle. Going to check out your "story" today. What a great idea!
At the senior center, church, workshops/ classes... Now, with the pandemic as you mentioned, it is more difficult- but not impossible!
I like your hair "coiffure" and how you are dressed! Thank you for the video. It is very difficult to make new friends when you are around 70....
But some of us have no car. There are no buses in the evenings, or on weekends, or that go to any of the places that you mentioned.
Some silver linings during covid include tech stuff to be able to meet folks all over the world. Access has been amazing. But I’m retiring this summer, mostly bc I can (ish) and also bc my job just isn’t what it used to be. Loved the human interaction, chaos of the days, now it’s all me, my computer and zoom appointments. I so miss my old job, but I won’t miss this new version. I’m soon to be 59, and looking forward to knowing more of this great community.
You look beautiful ❤️
Hi! You look so great! So elegant! I'm 61 in a new area and a full time nanny granny to 2 toddlers. Between that and the pandemic I've been very isolated. My career was in the food service industry and HECTIC! Lots of people always around. It took me some time to adjust to being home all the time and now I'm ready to make a friend or two. Thanks for the tips!
Love your hair, looks so healthy too.
Love your hairstyle. You look Amazing.
Gosh! Love your hair so flattering and wearing ivory lovely on you
Thank you Margaret.. I love listening to your videos.. I admire you and you help making me feel less alone.
You are so welcome
I am happy to hear the suggestion about talking to people! I have been doing this for quite a while, and it is fun. If I see someone with a beautiful ring, skirt, whatever, I tell them as well. It makes me feel good when someone does that to me, so hopefully I also make them feel good.
I haven't made friends this way, but it is cheery!
When I had to retire early from my really great job at an art museum, I also had to move to a new town - due to my husband's work. It was dreadful - conservative, clique-ey, etc. I did try, but failed. My Facebook friends were my salvation! I eventually met one in person, and was invited to join her little group of facebook-now-in-real-life friends. What a great bunch of women! Now we have moved to where they live, and I have them nearby! And that is a start! So the online thing can really work.
The only way I make friends is by travelling, meeting other single travellers or expats who have moved to another country. Meetup has been great. I always look up a group before I go to a new place. Not much luck in my neighbourhood.
Hi Margaret- I like your hair short, very nice look. 7 years single since my divorce after 24 years of marriage. I have a couple of close friends but their married and don’t live close by so I have had to start making new friends. This is work, kinda like dating 😊 it takes time to really get to know people and for them to get to know you. Thank goodness for Meet Up but I probably should get involved a bit more in activities. Retiring in 2 months and planning to volunteer or attend more social activities then. When my mom became a widow she too, had to make new friends and a new social life for herself. Couples usually like hanging with other couples and a single woman can really be 5th wheel unless you’re very close with the women already
I am in my mid 50s and I've just moved to a new town. I am so lonely. My Mother died 3 years ago and I am so lonely. I work 3 14 hour days three days a week, so It's hard to get excited about going somewhere on my days off. However, I would make the effort.
🎵"People who need people, are the luckiest people in the world"🎶💕
Thanks for the music interlude. 😊
Thank all of you for being so honest.
It is comforting to know that I am not alone.....
just wish we didn't have to go through these sad situations.
Just what I needed. Thank you
Margaret do you have a website for the solo women's travel group? I just found your channel and I shared it with a friend. Thanks.
U3A activities are a great way to meet new people doing activities you enjoy. I have a close group of church friends through our growth group. Community activities like water aerobics at the local pool or yoga can be good. I’ve also made real life friends with people I play in Words with Friends online who I chat to. I’ve met for lunch, coffee and swapped books with them.
Be friendly and open to making new friends. There are women’s only travel groups and tours. Good way to meet new friends.
Is u3a only for retirees?
@@sixtyandme yes you must be 55 and over and retired or semi retired
Hi Margaret. I have an idea if you love books. I joined a little corner of TH-cam last August Called book tube. I made a video on my 70th birthday in August and now I have almost 700 subscribers or as I like to call them-friends.
You don’t have to be an extrovert, there are many introverts on the platform and we do things together like read-athon’s buddy reads etc.I’m able to be zany online and and still be my loner self when I’m so inclined. Also I get to play with make up and dress up even when there’s no place to go. Thank you for your advice. Sending friendly vibes from Hawai’i. Aloha
Great ideas!!!
Love your hair
I'm not in your targeted age group, however, I decided years ago, after seeing how people have become, that I'm much better off alone.
Brenda B - What do you mean "after seeing how people have become?"
@@sylviacarlson3561 In todays world people have become so flaky, unkind. Instead of using things while valuing other people, too many out there will value things then use other people. No thanks.
Wow! Sucks to be you! It's true more people have become unkind, but I prefer the outlook that I'll kiss a few frogs to find a prince! ( gender neutral, and not necessarily actually kissing 😉) Real friendship is worth the risk. Just sayin'.
@@FreeSpirit47 I can’t resist saying this to you I hope it’s helpful … what you focus on you attract. Try picking out the positive in people you interact with. You may have to dig deep at 1st but it will become easier & I promise if you work hard at it your mindset will change.
@@krishannam1346 Actually, it's wonderful to be me. Success came to me later than I would have wanted, I'm stll grateful that it did. Having more freedom, more career satisfaction, more money. All of these. Life has become happier, more peaceful with flashes of excitement here & there. 🥰
I could not have accomplished all that I have if the fake friends were hanging around.
It was only when I pared my group from the fakes to the true friends that life began to take off & fly for me.
Very inspiring, love the meeting ideas
Lots of great ideas....Thank you.....
You are so welcome!
I NEVER,EVER thought I'd feel lonely being by myself.But this is the first time I have no man in my life. I miss a man's presence, plus I'm in VA and my family are all in PA.
Hi, I’m in Pennsylvania. My husband just died three weeks ago and I know the loneliness you’re feeling I don’t know what to do either.
My boyfriend and I are considering fulltime RVing after we retire. I have heard from so many RVers that the RV community is very friendly. Would others here agree? Just curious. . . .
Margaret, you are such an inspiration. Thank you!
All the friends I've made have been while walking my dog. They would stop to talk to Radar. I was known as.Radars mom. Unfortunately I moved 3 times in the last 4yrs and lost my best friend, my dog, 3yrs ago. Now only able to stay in touch with one long distance friend. When I walk people walk past with a mere word. They walk much faster than i can. I walk with a cane and rarely drive. Too old for a new dog as I wouldn't want him to out live me. Sad!
Liking the new hairstyle!
LOVE your hair today. 💃🌷
Thank you so much
friendships have to be cultivated and connected. I don't have the time for friends.I would like my life to bee as when I was younger but I do a lot of family caregiving that I don't want to be doing. But it has to be done. I fear that I will die and I have always taken care of others needs and my time will run out. znd those people won't even recall my name
Thank you for your candid comment. We women are selfless and caring for others becomes necessary at some point. Hang in there. I'm rooting for you!
Laura Ackerman, I am with you 100%. Thank you so much for your thoughts.