Wow, I really love this! Your explanations and suggestions are excellent, and I think I'll follow up on some of them. I just recently reconnected with a very dear friend whom I hadn't seen since before the pandemic, she came to see me and we had such a great visit, and we promised each other to talk and to see each other more often. Later today I will have a "phone visit" with another dear friend who moved to Texas a few years ago (I'm in California). It"s really great, though, to have close friends who you can actually get together with on a more frequent basis, do fun things with and share quality time. I have a few such friends, including one who I became friends with just last year. As you said, friendships grow and and evolve over time, so I'm looking forward to seeing all my friendships growing and deepening, as well as being open to new ones, and looking into different avenues for meeting new people, as suggested in this video. Yes it may take some effort, but it is worth it!
Thank you for watching and your kind words 🌸 -- I'm so glad you are nurturing your existing friendships as well as looking into avenues for meeting new people!
That is very challenging for sure. People's bandwidth for new friends can vary a lot from year to year. Perhaps exploring a broader definition of friendship and bringing more people into the "casual friend" circle can help, which you could possibly do by joining a meetup or club around your interests. It does take time to find those closer friends, try not to be discouraged and keep encouraging yourself to be open.
Can't seem to make it work myself. I have tried and joint lots of social groups. They are fun for a few times and then they just disappear or move away. Just gets discouraging. After 50 is hard to connect with each other.
I don't know what it is but i feel like i want new friends. I never meet anyone that i want to spend time with let alone being friends with. Friends were easy to make when i was young but it seems to be beyond my ability now.
Friendship is much easier for almost everyone when they are young! Please don't think it is beyond your ability now. It is just a process -- a slow process to move people from strangers to acquaintances to casual friends to good friends to BFF. It can be done though, especially if you have hobbies and interests -- they are a wonderful way to connect with others. The world is filled with people who want to make friends, but if everyone stays home then they'll never find each other. Good luck! Stay optimistic!
That's definitely a hard situation. Perhaps try to give your friends the benefit of the doubt for being busy or stressed, and look to expand your circles of casual friends and acquaintances -- bc that's where good friends come from...
@aarone9000 you are so right!! Getting people into that inner circle is hard and does take time. And it ebbs and flows, sometimes I have several friends in there, and sometimes not so many. People move, their life circumstances change. But with effort and time, deep friendships can form.
Love this! Just stumbled into your channel with this video that popped in my feed 😊I have seen some of the most amazing friendships come out of running and walking clubs, especially after 50! It is that time where kids are either grown and/or you want to spend more time taking care of yourself after taking care of others most of your life. Or gyms too... moving is so important as we get older and if we can to do it while we socialize, better yet!
Great video! I recently bought a sewing machine. I’ve mentioned my new interest and the projects I’m working on to acquaintances. From those casual conversations I’ve discovered many acquaintances are sewists! I’ve been invited to craft fairs and even to a home of an amazing quilter who is very encouraging and sharing great sewing tips. ❤ thanks for the great advice!
Oh I love this story so much, thank you for sharing! Our hobbies are a wonderful way to connect! I love your TH-cam Name too, "Calm Blue Ocean". Thanks for watching 💖
It’s hard to make friends at age 50y.. I move to the United States 2 years ago and I find it hard to meet people. If I do meet people the expect u to do all the calling no it don’t work like that . I would love to meet good friends.
@dianewilliams445 It's definitely nice when there is equal give and take in a relationship, but I've also learned that it just depends on what is going on in people's lives. For example, I probably haven't been the greatest friend to my friends this year because I've had extraordinary stress in my life -- my dad was admitted to memory care and I am managing all of his health issues and financial affairs which were/are very complicated. But my closest friends have given me grace and picked up the slack. Anyway, I hope you'll try some of the strategies in the video, they really do work! I keep reading articles about how there is an epidemic of loneliness in America, so there are lots of people looking for friendship. Good luck Diane!
Nice upbeat video. This content makes sense for women, but in the case of men it's more complicated since guys in that age group then to be loners, pretty much. Go into any coffee shop and menfolk, especially ones over 50, are there alone using a computer or phone, or reading a newspaper. Women on the other hand, with rare exception, are there with children, other relatives, friends, or business associates.. Two older men having lunch together seemingly enjoying each other's company would almost seem odd. Men in that demographic would likely hang out with their wives or girlfriends but not with another single guy. This could be because men would have to jockey for position to determine which one of them is the alpha male. So, there’s a built in degree of competition when older guys are together, not always but often enough. To avoid a potential unpleasant rivalry, they’ll spend time alone or with members of the opposite sex, a project in the garage, or even walking their dog...not the most satisfying existence.
Hi thanks for watching! You bring up a really valid point -- there are definitely some differences for men! Some of the tips do still apply, like interest-based connections. The midlife men I know who socialize usually do it around an interest -- community theater, golfing, running, cycling, board games, photography, music (creating a band), and so on. And re: neighbors & acquaintances, iInstead of grabbing coffee, they might grab a beer at the sports bar. Or they might trade labor -- I'll help you build your deck if you help me paint my house. The part you wrote about "jockeying for position" is really interesting though, and unfortunate, bc I think it is hard to have meaningful connections when there is a sense of competitiveness going on. I am updating my video description to include some links just for men. Thank you again for your comments!!
@@YourLuminousLife And thank you very much for your thoughtful reply. I can relate to your comments. For sure, men do reach out to each other as you have described. For your information, here are some of my favorite interest-based ways of staying connected socially. I sometimes take classes at area colleges/universities, hang out at motorsports shops (I’m a car guy), visit monthly car shows in town, and check out farmers market once or twice a week. Before COVID-19, weekly, I would take a day trip or an occasional overnight jaunt on a train, combining it with attending general interest classes in a nearby city. I do enjoy spending time alone with my ideas, reading, especially riding my bike, walking, a little strength training, pursuing creative projects, and doing chores around the house. I have a lot of hobbies, too. But there’s little in terms of regular meetups for lunch (and I avoid any place that resembles a bar). I prefer not to get too familiar or chummy with anyone at this stage. I enjoy being by myself, but I’m not lonely, and I also enjoy fleeting chats with folks who like the same things I do, as mentioned above. People periodically ask me to do more with them -- lunch, play cards, take a road trip, join various groups, for instance, but I mostly, politely keep my distance. Here’s a funny experience from my past: usually a man’s friends will find a way to “steal” your girlfriend or even your wife. That happened to me in my twenties, but fortunately for me, I didn’t really care if someone stole her (maybe she didn’t care either). Is this a terrible thing to say? Still, guys have to watch out for this. I appreciate your willingness to address loneliness for men over 50. My keys to overcoming it are engaging in a variety of interest-based activities in a non-competitive connection where you choose how much or how little investment of your time and energy there will be without offending anyone. ☺
@bobwalker6890, It's not easy to be in that situation, and it does take time and patience. The strategies in the video do work eventually! I'd keep trying -- even baby steps count -- and in the meantime, I'd be the best friend possible to myself.
Hello! Do you mean these strategies wouldn't work for regular guys? I know it's different for guys, but I've seen things like volunteering and joining an activity club (photography, golf, e-sports, biking, etc...) lead to friendship for guys. Good luck!
HI Tiffany, thank you for your comment! The forum was Ness Labs. It was very active during the pandemic, less so now. But there are many many communities out there...
Wow, I really love this! Your explanations and suggestions are excellent, and I think I'll follow up on some of them. I just recently reconnected with a very dear friend whom I hadn't seen since before the pandemic, she came to see me and we had such a great visit, and we promised each other to talk and to see each other more often. Later today I will have a "phone visit" with another dear friend who moved to Texas a few years ago (I'm in California). It"s really great, though, to have close friends who you can actually get together with on a more frequent basis, do fun things with and share quality time. I have a few such friends, including one who I became friends with just last year. As you said, friendships grow and and evolve over time, so I'm looking forward to seeing all my friendships growing and deepening, as well as being open to new ones, and looking into different avenues for meeting new people, as suggested in this video. Yes it may take some effort, but it is worth it!
Thank you for watching and your kind words 🌸 -- I'm so glad you are nurturing your existing friendships as well as looking into avenues for meeting new people!
@@YourLuminousLife Yes I am, and your video is a real inspiration, thank you!
Bot bees talk need the actions to be frienda
Most people I am interested in have a full life, a relationship, kids, work. they are not interested.
That is very challenging for sure. People's bandwidth for new friends can vary a lot from year to year. Perhaps exploring a broader definition of friendship and bringing more people into the "casual friend" circle can help, which you could possibly do by joining a meetup or club around your interests. It does take time to find those closer friends, try not to be discouraged and keep encouraging yourself to be open.
Can't seem to make it work myself. I have tried and joint lots of social groups. They are fun for a few times and then they just disappear or move away. Just gets discouraging. After 50 is hard to connect with each other.
It’s hard to make friends depending where you live. I’m so glad I have such a friendly community in FL.
I'm so glad for you!! I love where you live!
I don't know what it is but i feel like i want new friends. I never meet anyone that i want to spend time with let alone being friends with. Friends were easy to make when i was young but it seems to be beyond my ability now.
Friendship is much easier for almost everyone when they are young! Please don't think it is beyond your ability now. It is just a process -- a slow process to move people from strangers to acquaintances to casual friends to good friends to BFF. It can be done though, especially if you have hobbies and interests -- they are a wonderful way to connect with others. The world is filled with people who want to make friends, but if everyone stays home then they'll never find each other. Good luck! Stay optimistic!
What about when your the only one reaching out to your friends....there seems to be so many one sided friendships these days...
That's definitely a hard situation. Perhaps try to give your friends the benefit of the doubt for being busy or stressed, and look to expand your circles of casual friends and acquaintances -- bc that's where good friends come from...
Making friends isn't nearly as difficult as; making good friends!!!
@aarone9000 you are so right!! Getting people into that inner circle is hard and does take time. And it ebbs and flows, sometimes I have several friends in there, and sometimes not so many. People move, their life circumstances change. But with effort and time, deep friendships can form.
Love this! Just stumbled into your channel with this video that popped in my feed 😊I have seen some of the most amazing friendships come out of running and walking clubs, especially after 50! It is that time where kids are either grown and/or you want to spend more time taking care of yourself after taking care of others most of your life. Or gyms too... moving is so important as we get older and if we can to do it while we socialize, better yet!
Hi! Yes I think a running club like yours or a gym would be a WONDERFUL way to meet friends! Thank you so much for visiting and your kind words!
I love meeting for our weekly coffee and co-working time! Such great tips here, Angela.
And thanks for the "Hi!" 😊
Thank you Marianne! 💖 ☕ 🍅 (the tomato for Pomodoros :)
Great video! I recently bought a sewing machine. I’ve mentioned my new interest and the projects I’m working on to acquaintances. From those casual conversations I’ve discovered many acquaintances are sewists! I’ve been invited to craft fairs and even to a home of an amazing quilter who is very encouraging and sharing great sewing tips. ❤ thanks for the great advice!
Oh I love this story so much, thank you for sharing! Our hobbies are a wonderful way to connect! I love your TH-cam Name too, "Calm Blue Ocean". Thanks for watching 💖
It’s hard to make friends at age 50y.. I move to the United States 2 years ago and I find it hard to meet people. If I do meet people the expect u to do all the calling no it don’t work like that . I would love to meet good friends.
@dianewilliams445 It's definitely nice when there is equal give and take in a relationship, but I've also learned that it just depends on what is going on in people's lives. For example, I probably haven't been the greatest friend to my friends this year because I've had extraordinary stress in my life -- my dad was admitted to memory care and I am managing all of his health issues and financial affairs which were/are very complicated. But my closest friends have given me grace and picked up the slack.
Anyway, I hope you'll try some of the strategies in the video, they really do work! I keep reading articles about how there is an epidemic of loneliness in America, so there are lots of people looking for friendship. Good luck Diane!
❤
Great video!
Thank you so much Kat & Dog (love your channel name!!!)
Nice upbeat video. This content makes sense for women, but in the case of men it's more complicated since guys in that age group then to be loners, pretty much. Go into any coffee shop and menfolk, especially ones over 50, are there alone using a computer or phone, or reading a newspaper. Women on the other hand, with rare exception, are there with children, other relatives, friends, or business associates.. Two older men having lunch together seemingly enjoying each other's company would almost seem odd. Men in that demographic would likely hang out with their wives or girlfriends but not with another single guy. This could be because men would have to jockey for position to determine which one of them is the alpha male. So, there’s a built in degree of competition when older guys are together, not always but often enough. To avoid a potential unpleasant rivalry, they’ll spend time alone or with members of the opposite sex, a project in the garage, or even walking their dog...not the most satisfying existence.
Hi thanks for watching! You bring up a really valid point -- there are definitely some differences for men! Some of the tips do still apply, like interest-based connections. The midlife men I know who socialize usually do it around an interest -- community theater, golfing, running, cycling, board games, photography, music (creating a band), and so on. And re: neighbors & acquaintances, iInstead of grabbing coffee, they might grab a beer at the sports bar. Or they might trade labor -- I'll help you build your deck if you help me paint my house. The part you wrote about "jockeying for position" is really interesting though, and unfortunate, bc I think it is hard to have meaningful connections when there is a sense of competitiveness going on. I am updating my video description to include some links just for men. Thank you again for your comments!!
@@YourLuminousLife And thank you very much for your thoughtful reply. I can relate to your comments. For sure, men do reach out to each other as you have described. For your information, here are some of my favorite interest-based ways of staying connected socially. I sometimes take classes at area colleges/universities, hang out at motorsports shops (I’m a car guy), visit monthly car shows in town, and check out farmers market once or twice a week. Before COVID-19, weekly, I would take a day trip or an occasional overnight jaunt on a train, combining it with attending general interest classes in a nearby city. I do enjoy spending time alone with my ideas, reading, especially riding my bike, walking, a little strength training, pursuing creative projects, and doing chores around the house. I have a lot of hobbies, too. But there’s little in terms of regular meetups for lunch (and I avoid any place that resembles a bar). I prefer not to get too familiar or chummy with anyone at this stage. I enjoy being by myself, but I’m not lonely, and I also enjoy fleeting chats with folks who like the same things I do, as mentioned above. People periodically ask me to do more with them -- lunch, play cards, take a road trip, join various groups, for instance, but I mostly, politely keep my distance. Here’s a funny experience from my past: usually a man’s friends will find a way to “steal” your girlfriend or even your wife. That happened to me in my twenties, but fortunately for me, I didn’t really care if someone stole her (maybe she didn’t care either). Is this a terrible thing to say? Still, guys have to watch out for this. I appreciate your willingness to address loneliness for men over 50. My keys to overcoming it are engaging in a variety of interest-based activities in a non-competitive connection where you choose how much or how little investment of your time and energy there will be without offending anyone. ☺
It sounds like you have lots of options for addressing loneliness, when/if it pays you a visit. Be well 🕊 and thank you again for watching!
What if you don't have anyone? Sorry if this has been asked before
@bobwalker6890, It's not easy to be in that situation, and it does take time and patience. The strategies in the video do work eventually! I'd keep trying -- even baby steps count -- and in the meantime, I'd be the best friend possible to myself.
yout daughter sounds adoreable
Aww thank you! She's graduated college now, they grow so fast...
At the risk of sounding a "bit" chauvinistic would work for regular guys😕
Hello! Do you mean these strategies wouldn't work for regular guys? I know it's different for guys, but I've seen things like volunteering and joining an activity club (photography, golf, e-sports, biking, etc...) lead to friendship for guys. Good luck!
Great video. Towards the end of the video you said you met people online via _____ labs. I couldn’t make out what you were saying. Please advise.
HI Tiffany, thank you for your comment! The forum was Ness Labs. It was very active during the pandemic, less so now. But there are many many communities out there...