I thought the worst thing Ja ever did was either the Fire Festival disaster or insulting Eminem's daughter, but teaching Seagal to talk like a black guy is simply the WORST.
@@anon9469 “EU agricultural reports” made me die laughing because a) it sounds hilarious and b) I’m an intelligence analyst and I DO have to read EU agricultural reports. It’s really just “analyst” though. Intelligence is a final product.
The fact that they made the guy go flying backwards using a weapon specifically designed to have almost no recoil is the type of realism only Seagal can provide.
I watched this movie as a child mainly because we were poor and only had a dvd player. My dad watched a ton of Seagal movies because you could get a box with like 30 of them for $6 at Dollar General.
3:05 Seagal taking cover behind a barrel of flammable gas like a true video game NPC. Those dudes randomly firing into the air while sliding down those cables is also one of the Seagal movie moments of all time.
By all rights, he should be projected at objects at high speed. He's a fraudster, although, tbf, he did fraud the most embarrassingly worst rich and entitled young people. So, that being said, keep on ripping off young rich idiots, my brother.
@kdcpo6105 lol true. Peak actor, athlete, martial artist, and the list goes on. Probably the best human to ever exist in literally every metric imaginable
The running joke of Seagalls bloodlust never gets old. A part of me wishes we could get an entire MCU style franchise centered around one dude who is the amalgamation of Space Ices interpretation of all Stephens roles. Just a clueless, bloodthirsty edgelord with the power to summon Body Doubles at will while rendering all attempts at plot nonsensical.
And the name would be "Seagal", as parallel to "JCVD" the mature and self-reflecting Van Damme movie. Except it's a Seagal movie and we all know what that means.
I watched the movie and it has a huge plot hole in why Seagal needed to go undercover or even be at the prison itself. The entire assumption behind being undercover was that Seagal was going to gather information yet he already had everything figured out well before even going into the prison. He could have literally just went after the main villain but yet he required to kill off nearly the entire prisoner, and guards for reasons unclear.
@@jacksmith-mu3ee And this is still one of the best Seagul movies. But that's kinda like saying ... well, actually, no, I don't want to insult anything by comparing it to a Seagul movie.
That's Nia! She's the sidekick in the last couple seasons of Walker Texas Ranger. She's able to do some pretty good moves during the show so I'm a bit surprised she decided to star in a post-stardom Seagal film where she's not able to showcase her real talent.
This movie is very special to my childhood. This is the only movie that I watched in the big screen coz it was a Saturday night and my father wanted the entire family to go out for a movie night. We got to our local cinema and the choices were god awful. Half Past Dead was the only action flick in a sea of romcoms and local B tier movies, so we went with that. After watching the movie my dad was like 'How the hell was an action flick so boring?!' We never watched a Seagal movie ever again. PS: No Strip Club.... AMAZING!
I guess they'd look more into your potential than your role in Seagal's film. But I think if you're trying to use Seagal as a ladder upwards, you'd be disappointed even if he was a star.
Only just found this great channel, and in the UK, in bed with a heavy cold, now I’ve sore ribs from laughing, my eyes are sore from crying, and I feel a million times better! Well done Space Ice, brilliant work on this living comedy legend!
Please, don’t ever stop making videos. I’ve been watching your videos for 3 hours straight and been in absolute hysterics. You really make depression so much easier
Thanks for doing this one. Must of been during his "Hood" years when he was a brother, not long before his Asian years, then finally, his fridge years.
Not like it matters but just in case you're interested: "must of" is actually "must have", people just write it that way because of how "must've" sounds. I like these strange overlaps, my favorite is "peddle stool" instead of "pedestal".
Proper cringe yet some how bloody hilarious in equal measure one of my fave scenes from that "era" is in today you die when he escapes from prison and goes to that bar to see that guy whos selling weapons when he tries doing those handshakes and gang signs superb stuff
The amount of trauma Space Ice has suffered having to actually watch all these piles of Seagal crap to give these amazing videos is unimaginable. Thank you Ice for the sacrifice you've made!
"Dwayne Elisondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho".... I'm watching this at 2am currently.. My wife is asleep right next to me and I'm trying so hard not to bust out laughing that I'm getting a headache. This is easily my favorite channel in TH-cam.. Keep up the amazing work my guy.
Every Steven Seagal movie in a nutshell: -Steven Seagal is either ex special forces or ex CIA or ex something -Everyone treats Seagal like the second coming of Christ -Steven Seagal will mumble his way through scenes or require the use of voice overs from other actors -Body doubles who do everything which includes walking, standing, and fighting -Lots of plot convenience -Steven Seagal will be portrayed as a hero but commits tons of crimes -Seagal will hook up with women younger than him -Multiple plot threads that go nowhere or are completely abandoned by the end of the movie -Whenever Seagal does fight, he’s either slap fighting or fighting sitting down and never has to reload -Fight scenes will have plenty of shaky cam or jump cuts to hide Seagal’s weight or his stunt doubles -Every Seagal film is either set in Eastern Europe, Mexico, or Asia -Steven Seagal will always go to strip club even if it doesn’t contribute to the plot -Plots will usually resolve themselves in the first 20 minutes -Terrible special effects and green screen -Seagal will never hold a gun correctly -Whenever Seagal is in a team, everyone will either die or do nothing while he does all the work -One liners and jokes that fall flatter than Seagal’s “acting career” -The DEA apparently has jurisdiction over everything -Seagal will also have a family that’s introduced at the end of the movie Anything else I forget?
I am not sure what hits me harder: the sheer volume of work SpaceIce is doing by watching this crap, analyzing it, editing it, making his script, and last but not least his absolutely genius humor, or the stubbornness and lack of self-awareness Seagal is showing by making this shit for decades, over and over again. In any case, SpaceIce is making this world a better one.
I really don't know how you watch all these Seagal movies and stay sane. You must have an iron will. I watched A Good Man once and ended up chewing off my little toe before it was over. For the next 6 weeks all I could do was walk in circles and quack like a duck. Had to be put into a medically induced coma for 4 years...and still, the first words I yelled when being woken up were "I'll snatch every muther Fuker birfday!" and then screamed the scream of ultimate suffering for several hours. In the end the only option was a full brain transplant. The only brain I could get was one from a particularly slow-witted Bonobo, but it was still better than the brain with memories of a Seagal movie.
This is the era of Seagal where it felt like he was trying at least somewhere. There was a hint of some kind of style, compared to his movies now where the camera just turns on, turns off, and the directors edits the footage and releases it.
This wasn't that era. The first 4 movies he really tried then he spent up until 2018 or w.e releasing 2-3 straight to dvd movies a year. Every once in awhile he did try for a movie like exit wounds but those are surrounded by movies he put no effort into. Pull up his wiki because it's pretty insane how many movies he released.
Everytime a new video comes out, I'm always screaming to my wife : "Oh! Yes! There's a new Seagal!" Never stop. This makes our day, every single time 😊
I don't know if you'll read this, but thank you, i found your channel a bit after i lost my grandpa, all the roast on seagal helped me a lot through the grief, your videos are great
Space Ice - Thank You for all your videos. This might not make any sense but they have helped me get through some really hard times . Don’t ever stop - A Fan from Florida 👍👍👍
I just discovered your channel a couple weeks ago and I've been obsessed ever since. It's been non-stop repeats of your videos, especially steven segal ones. You've made my day by releasing this new one for me to put on repeat. Hope there are many more to come! Thank you sir!
7:10 "But that's not on them, because a lifeless clump of mass was the role he was born for!" "But they're pretty sure there was a bean bag chair here earlier," I spit out my freaking coffee at that comment! That is pure freaking gold I tell you...GOLD!!😂🤣😂☠
When i was 12 a girl asked my favorite movie and i told her this... she stopped talking to me a bit later. She was a dime at the end of HS. Really screwed up
“I’m a very funny guy, if you’ll forgive me for saying so. When I did The Glimmer Man with Keenan Ivory Wayans, he and I were talking about who was funniest, and… I kicked his ass every day.” - Steven Seagal, in an interview with The Philadelphia
one time i was swimming in the river and found this movie on dvd in the river, i fished it out and watched it, it still worked too. years later i regret it and wished i left it in the river lol.
I can't tell if this is true or not, but still laughing my ass off. Also enjoying thinking about the poor bastard that actually paid for this movie in the first place and them being so pissed that they threw it in the river in the first place.
I think your intro summarized this movie perfectly. Seagal went in somewhere, did a bunch of stuff, a bunch of people got hurt and died, and what for? Absolutely nothing at all. Even if there was one criminal mastermind behind it all, Seagal would still somehow kill more innocent people and people who had nothing to do with it before revealing this grand plot that so-so who he could have just taken a taxi to confront.
I remember watching this movie on Star Movies channel in 2006 with my dad and we both were laughing out loud so much that even the neighbors started watching it and laughing too. 🤣🤣🤣
I saw this movie as a teen but somehow i didn't remember how much Ja Rule gets ragdolled but somehow still survives unharmed. It's so stupid i love it. I wonder how they convinced him to accept the role, he always seemed like an ego andy to me.
It's weird, this movie seems to be far and away the best Seagal movie. it's not GOOD, but that bit where he flung that dude out the passenger side was kind of funny. That's, like, one more good bit than we usually get from him! Congradulations Mr Seagal.
I don't count that as a Seagal movie, that's a mainstream film which just happens to have him in it. It's not one of these mafia money laundering schemes. @@angelpacheco1608
I just finished watching Top Gut, then saw the Half Past Dead title. Not sure why but the "in that order" in the title made me laugh uncontrollably.😂 After the first minute my wife started recording me trying to get it under control. I finally got it after my kids woke up and my face was drenched. I have never laughed like that. After a whole year of none stop stress, this was the laugh I needed. Thank you for that. I'll be uploading it soon.
The action in this one doesn't seem half bad compared to other Seagal movies. It's weird that Seagal let himself be upstaged by people who actually seem to know a thing or two about fighting and choreography, like the eyeshadow chick.
Seagal's movies when he was young were actually good because he was just acting in them. When he started writing and producing his own movies, it's when they started to suck because Steven Seagal himself sucks at writing and producing.
I had an actual laughing fit when at the end it was implied that the pretty young thing Seagal always ends up banging in his movies was Ja Rule. I almost passed out from laughing so much.
"Hell yeah! Kids beat his ass way worse then that all the time!" I literally doubled over laughing at this, completely uncontrolled. Space Ice is the GOAT at whatever the hell genre of video this is. This is basically his own genre nkw
Check out my Patreon for ad-free and uncensored videos: www.patreon.com/Space_Ice
Still waiting for your treatment of Best-Worst Movie of All Time: Breaker, Breaker starring the Norris 😉
It would be the best!!
Can you do treasur planet
I was wondering, when you will do under siege?
Gotta do exit wounds
Thank you man!!!!!! Again you made my day!!!! I respect you forever!!!!!!!hahahahahahahah
I thought the worst thing Ja ever did was either the Fire Festival disaster or insulting Eminem's daughter, but teaching Seagal to talk like a black guy is simply the WORST.
That's low indeed. The homo love scenes shown in this video also put him on the cutting edge for Hollywood but no doubt unintentionally.
Hey, cut him some slack... we just watched the man get added to Seagal’s list of allegations
Relax, you cant claim words for a race, that makes you a racist.
The worst thing he ever did was stay alive after hitting that windshield. He has to speak more lines in the movie afterwards.
@@shrapnel77If only baby girl had put it on him just a little harder.
The fact Ja Rule gets ragdolled like a Muppet the whole movie, is why this is 50 cents favorite movie😂
"Cent's"
@aarteestmj4958 "nobody cares"
2nd that. @@mcspankem
I lost it when that guard bitch slapped him into a corkscrew🤣🤣
😂😂🤣🤣🤣☠️
You can tell Seagal thinks working for the C.I.A is the most badass thing ever😂 every single character
I mean in fairness all Hollywood movies depict it that way
@@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd yeah I’d agree with you on that but the man has no range! He only plays C.I.A operatives or some sorta rogue soldier 🤣😂
Seagal when he gets a real job at the CIA and it's just sitting at a desk reading European newspapers and EU agricultural reports:
@@anon9469 “EU agricultural reports” made me die laughing because a) it sounds hilarious and b) I’m an intelligence analyst and I DO have to read EU agricultural reports. It’s really just “analyst” though. Intelligence is a final product.
@@meech6848 He is called "John" or "Jack", "Jonathan" or "jake" in his movies countless times too, Seagal is so fck funny😂😂😂
Space Ice's Seagal movies is what I live for
I hope Seagull's career never ends so we can never run out of reviews
Seemingly an endless supply of Seagal movies.
Who is financing these?
Can't live without his narrations, great job space ice
He can always watch ballistic: ecks vs sever
@@Chuck_Hooks Well, first it was the mafia… now I assume it’s the Russians.
The fact that they made the guy go flying backwards using a weapon specifically designed to have almost no recoil is the type of realism only Seagal can provide.
It makes you wonder how any soldier would be ever able to fire it.
Some real looney tunes shit right there
I changed my opinion due to false memory, so you are right!
"The guy"....? that guy is Kurupt from Tha Dogg Pound..yall know Ja Rule but not Kurupt come on now
Who tf is Kurrupt
The prison guard ragdolling Ja Rule across the room with a lazy right hook just killed me
Honestly that was really funny. I would've like to see more of that.
Love how Ja Rule turned Asian in that scene , just like Seagal goes skinny when he rolls 😂
funniest shit ever I'm fkn crying laughing right now
And then saying kids hit harder than that I'm dead 😂
I feel its not an accident that ja rule gets embarassed in every scene he is. Seagull wrote it like that on purpose
Saw this movie when I was about 12 and thought it was the shit. Simpler times before I had any level of critical thinking and common sense 😂
Relatable, I was the same with the glimmer man much to my shame
@@infamouscheesecake2232 the fact that we feel shame makes us better than him. Stay strong brother 🙏
If it helps, i though "Batman and Robin" (the one with Arnold as mr freeze) was a great superhero movie when i was 16
😂😂😅😅 You were still growing brain cells so we forgive you
@@infamouscheesecake2232 I love the Glimmer Man's title. It sounds badass. "There'd be nothing but jungle, then a glimmer... Then you'd be dead!"
" The Fat and the Furious" line killed me😂. Big props to Space Ace for making our lifes better😅
I was not expecting that at all
This man is a gem
This guy is awesome I just found this channel it's now one of my favorites. Fat and the furious 🤣🤣🤣
Hell yeah
I watched this movie as a child mainly because we were poor and only had a dvd player. My dad watched a ton of Seagal movies because you could get a box with like 30 of them for $6 at Dollar General.
That is a form of child abuse! LOL!
Still over priced 😂
@@powerofme7144 I know, right? You should get payed $30 to watch a single one of them and get additional benefits for more than 5, lmao!
Seagal films on sale at the Dollar General? So Seagal!
Poor and "only had a DVD player" wow... many wish they were you in your poor days 😂
'Half Past Dead' is ironically a good way to describe Steven Seagal's action movie career
And Seagal himself.
Weekend at Steven’s.
@@tattooninja half past six is a slang term for erectile dysfunction in men. When it points... not completely down. I assume it references that.
@@KasumiRINA like a penile sun-dial
I honestly thought Space Ice was goofin' on us and changed the title as an ode to Seagal's current mental state.
It truly is a Good Friday when we get an honest review for a Steven Seagal mega blockbuster hit movie!
WHERE HE SHOWED THE WORLD!
Everything is stupid and nothing matters...
@@wolfeusmc2011I wish I could give multiple thumbs up to that mega blockbuster reply and to the original mega blockbuster hit post.
THAT YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO EVEN IF YOU'RE BAD AT IT
3:05 Seagal taking cover behind a barrel of flammable gas like a true video game NPC. Those dudes randomly firing into the air while sliding down those cables is also one of the Seagal movie moments of all time.
goldeneye 64 npc favorite spots
Ja Rule getting thrown around with ease against objects at high speed and getting up like nothing happened makes me think he is 80% made out of baloon
whatever it is i'm sure it does start with a 'B'
@@dejuren1367 we tried, but it's been disconnected.
By all rights, he should be projected at objects at high speed. He's a fraudster, although, tbf, he did fraud the most embarrassingly worst rich and entitled young people. So, that being said, keep on ripping off young rich idiots, my brother.
Why doesn't this guy have a million plus subscribers is beyond me. This is comedy gold. Keep the video's coming!!!!
Because people like this space ice bung hole keep hating on the most versatile action star of all time
@kdcpo6105 lol true. Peak actor, athlete, martial artist, and the list goes on. Probably the best human to ever exist in literally every metric imaginable
The running joke of Seagalls bloodlust never gets old. A part of me wishes we could get an entire MCU style franchise centered around one dude who is the amalgamation of Space Ices interpretation of all Stephens roles.
Just a clueless, bloodthirsty edgelord with the power to summon Body Doubles at will while rendering all attempts at plot nonsensical.
LMAO!
What do you mean by joke?
And the name would be "Seagal", as parallel to "JCVD" the mature and self-reflecting Van Damme movie.
Except it's a Seagal movie and we all know what that means.
I watched the movie and it has a huge plot hole in why Seagal needed to go undercover or even be at the prison itself. The entire assumption behind being undercover was that Seagal was going to gather information yet he already had everything figured out well before even going into the prison. He could have literally just went after the main villain but yet he required to kill off nearly the entire prisoner, and guards for reasons unclear.
@@Dan-di9jd This thinking is exactly what will get you killed by one of Stephen's doubles.
"5 years doesn't sound like much, but this is San Francisco so that's like 8 life sentences." That burn was so hot it's still outshining the sun!
Say what you want, but Seagal is one of the most accomplished comedy stars of all time.
🤡🤡🤡
It’s pronounced “Space Ice”, not “Seagull"
🤣🤣🤣
I can't remember if I have ever laughed so hard on a comment. Excellent 👍
As is Ja Rule
Unintentional comedy stars of all time, in the same way as JarJar Binks is funny, he can pass the first time but it's downhill from there.
I can't help but feel Seagal watched that Michael Bay film, The Rock, and thought to himself "I could do that but better."
😂
At first I thought you said, "I could that, but butter." Which would have made a lot more sense too.
And then he didn't
@@jacksmith-mu3ee And this is still one of the best Seagul movies. But that's kinda like saying ... well, actually, no, I don't want to insult anything by comparing it to a Seagul movie.
@@Dan-di9jd🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“If you’re wondering what kind of secret mission involves dying and spending years in prison…” I lost it hearing that 😂
Dumb and Dumber part 3
If I ever end up in prison, that's the line I'm giving to everyone there. I'm on a secret mission, shhhh!
According to maga, that would be the FBI.
"Then the prison is attacked by this lady, who comes in like she's fucking Sting". I'm crying LOL 🤣
Did you hear Tony Schiavone saying it in your head too? 😂
And she wears make up to a mission 😅
Well she must be . U never know . Sting want in a good place back then
@@powerofme7144 It's STIIIIIING!
That's Nia! She's the sidekick in the last couple seasons of Walker Texas Ranger. She's able to do some pretty good moves during the show so I'm a bit surprised she decided to star in a post-stardom Seagal film where she's not able to showcase her real talent.
6:26
"And im pretty sure this guy's tangled up in the rope"
🤣😂🤣😂☠
"Now s**t gets crazy when they bust in on Professor-X while he's connected to Cerebro". I completely lost it at this part. 😂😂🤣🤣
I can't breathe that part threw me off the Burj khalifa🤣😂☠️💀
ditto
Got me crying too😂😂😂😂😂hahahaahhha
Yep I laughed so hard at "Cerebro" !
You’re literally the only guy who pullls me outta depression sometimes. Thanks for your content brother.
Yes, me too. But as my depression starts to fade, ads come up and I want to choke smb.
@@manolmeister hahahah
Same here
Try Napoleon Blownapart mush
De who shun
This movie is very special to my childhood.
This is the only movie that I watched in the big screen coz it was a Saturday night and my father wanted the entire family to go out for a movie night.
We got to our local cinema and the choices were god awful.
Half Past Dead was the only action flick in a sea of romcoms and local B tier movies, so we went with that.
After watching the movie my dad was like 'How the hell was an action flick so boring?!'
We never watched a Seagal movie ever again.
PS: No Strip Club.... AMAZING!
Jarule and Steven are the best comedy duo no one asked for.
Imagine being a struggling actor/actress and you get a part in wtf this was and thinking that you’re on your way
I’d rather do porn.
Brutal!!!
I hope they at least got paid.
I guess they'd look more into your potential than your role in Seagal's film. But I think if you're trying to use Seagal as a ladder upwards, you'd be disappointed even if he was a star.
Red flags should've been Seagal and Ja Rule
Only just found this great channel, and in the UK, in bed with a heavy cold, now I’ve sore ribs from laughing, my eyes are sore from crying, and I feel a million times better! Well done Space Ice, brilliant work on this living comedy legend!
Please, don’t ever stop making videos. I’ve been watching your videos for 3 hours straight and been in absolute hysterics. You really make depression so much easier
Ja Rule getting ragdolled throughout the movie keeps cracking me up 😂
It's the funniest part
@@Bigedub101 You know Seagal planned it that way. Genius.
50 cent loves this movie! 😂
Its how I presume most fights involving Ja Rule would go in RL LOL
..”But it’s a lot of work.. something we know Seagal will never do!!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for doing this one. Must of been during his "Hood" years when he was a brother, not long before his Asian years, then finally, his fridge years.
Spoken from the heart. Or the stomach.
Don't forget his Russian gangster/snuff writer fase.
Lol
Not like it matters but just in case you're interested: "must of" is actually "must have", people just write it that way because of how "must've" sounds.
I like these strange overlaps, my favorite is "peddle stool" instead of "pedestal".
Proper cringe yet some how bloody hilarious in equal measure one of my fave scenes from that "era" is in today you die when he escapes from prison and goes to that bar to see that guy whos selling weapons when he tries doing those handshakes and gang signs superb stuff
The amount of trauma Space Ice has suffered having to actually watch all these piles of Seagal crap to give these amazing videos is unimaginable. Thank you Ice for the sacrifice you've made!
"Dwayne Elisondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho".... I'm watching this at 2am currently.. My wife is asleep right next to me and I'm trying so hard not to bust out laughing that I'm getting a headache. This is easily my favorite channel in TH-cam.. Keep up the amazing work my guy.
Every Steven Seagal movie in a nutshell:
-Steven Seagal is either ex special forces or ex CIA or ex something
-Everyone treats Seagal like the second coming of Christ
-Steven Seagal will mumble his way through scenes or require the use of voice overs from other actors
-Body doubles who do everything which includes walking, standing, and fighting
-Lots of plot convenience
-Steven Seagal will be portrayed as a hero but commits tons of crimes
-Seagal will hook up with women younger than him
-Multiple plot threads that go nowhere or are completely abandoned by the end of the movie
-Whenever Seagal does fight, he’s either slap fighting or fighting sitting down and never has to reload
-Fight scenes will have plenty of shaky cam or jump cuts to hide Seagal’s weight or his stunt doubles
-Every Seagal film is either set in Eastern Europe, Mexico, or Asia
-Steven Seagal will always go to strip club even if it doesn’t contribute to the plot
-Plots will usually resolve themselves in the first 20 minutes
-Terrible special effects and green screen
-Seagal will never hold a gun correctly
-Whenever Seagal is in a team, everyone will either die or do nothing while he does all the work
-One liners and jokes that fall flatter than Seagal’s “acting career”
-The DEA apparently has jurisdiction over everything
-Seagal will also have a family that’s introduced at the end of the movie
Anything else I forget?
you wrote that in a minute? holy hell
Yea one thing i can think of right now is
-Steven Seagal rarely will show any emotions other then just pissed off or emotionless.
@@icarorodrigues8501 copy paste 😂
@@TheBatman-1989yep, I've seen this list before on other SI videos.
Steven Seagal will pretend like he's black but instead ends up sounding like a racist idiot.
Seagal's face is so epic he could express love, hate, happy, sad, angry, remorse and disgust with one facial expression.
How did he not get cast in the Twilight movies?
@@michelletuband He didn't fit in the costume.
I am not sure what hits me harder: the sheer volume of work SpaceIce is doing by watching this crap, analyzing it, editing it, making his script, and last but not least his absolutely genius humor, or the stubbornness and lack of self-awareness Seagal is showing by making this shit for decades, over and over again. In any case, SpaceIce is making this world a better one.
Seagal blows SpaceIce away.
i understand why he really hates fatty seagull. imagine having to spend 90 mins at least once a week watching that crap. lol
Seagal is more talented and more of a man than you could ever hope to be and he eats pieces of sh!t like you for breakfast.
"That level of senseless stupidity is just the rush seagal needs" I lost it there 😹💀👌🏼
"A lifeless clump of mass is the role he was born for." Well I got my ab workout in for today from laughing so hard...
“Sympathy exertion”
That one almost killed ME of a heart attack
I really don't know how you watch all these Seagal movies and stay sane. You must have an iron will.
I watched A Good Man once and ended up chewing off my little toe before it was over. For the next 6 weeks all I could do was walk in circles and quack like a duck. Had to be put into a medically induced coma for 4 years...and still, the first words I yelled when being woken up were "I'll snatch every muther Fuker birfday!" and then screamed the scream of ultimate suffering for several hours.
In the end the only option was a full brain transplant. The only brain I could get was one from a particularly slow-witted Bonobo, but it was still better than the brain with memories of a Seagal movie.
Excellent comment
Man I'm sorry to hear that, wish I could do the same with my brain as well after watching Chuunibyou English dub but then 3rd world problems kicked in
Boom. Roasted!
Be strong, bro, you're gonna make it!
🤣
3:25 “keeps his *fan* guessing” 😂😂😂
while focusing on jarule's silly face
Run waddle 🤣🤣
When Space says “Oh Fuck you!” you can tell he is genuinely angry at Seagal.😂
so this movie is basically The Matrix, The Rock, Blade , and Training Day? all rolled up into 1 , incoherent , masterpiece of a Movie .
I think we can all agree Space Ice has enriched all our lives. ❤
This is the era of Seagal where it felt like he was trying at least somewhere. There was a hint of some kind of style, compared to his movies now where the camera just turns on, turns off, and the directors edits the footage and releases it.
Yeah. After the 90's it all went downhills.
Style?! 😂
This wasn't that era. The first 4 movies he really tried then he spent up until 2018 or w.e releasing 2-3 straight to dvd movies a year. Every once in awhile he did try for a movie like exit wounds but those are surrounded by movies he put no effort into. Pull up his wiki because it's pretty insane how many movies he released.
@@skylined5534Yeah Seagal was more edgy and hardcore style when it came to fighting on his old movies.
@@skylined5534 wild i know, but it's true
Everytime a new video comes out, I'm always screaming to my wife : "Oh! Yes! There's a new Seagal!"
Never stop. This makes our day, every single time 😊
I'm sure this one has been done by him before.
This is by far the best channel on TH-cam
"After Seagal's failed lap band sets off the metal detector" got me 🤣
I sincerely want Steven Seagal to never stop making movies just so I can keep watching these videos.
You haven't put it together yet? Space Ice is seagulls agent and tricks him into making these bad movies so he can make these good videos.
He already stopped, no new Seagal movie since 2019.😭
@@mauricio2915NOOOOOOOOOOO
"But Seagals personality disorder is far too strong for that." 😂😂😂
I don't know if you'll read this, but thank you, i found your channel a bit after i lost my grandpa, all the roast on seagal helped me a lot through the grief, your videos are great
CAN WE ALL APRECIATE HOW STEVEN SEAGULL IS LITERALLY UNLIMITED COMEDY?
Whether or not it’s intentional..
There's no need to shout
There's a little bit of seagull in all of us
If he didnt take himself so damn seriously he would actually be fun to watch
"Waddle strut" will be a cherished, new special insult.
"The fat and the furious" pure comic gold.
"Kids beat his ass way harder than that like all the time." I died.
Me too.
Wait, then how are you typing this?
"Being heavy is what he does best." 🤣🤣🤣 I've seen every one of your videos and that line has to be my favorite so far.
giving ja rule strikes and showing the guy lighting a smoke and walking away broke my bones 😂😂
Bruh, that was Space Ice's finest hour 🤣🤣🤣 Pure brilliance!
Just like the license plate gag in Urban Justice, had me dying all the way through😂😂
I'm so happy I found this channel , I can watch all Seagal'm movie in short and better version 😂😂😂
These movies are basically a way for him to act out his (disturbing) power fantasies
I feel like using the word "act" is inappropriate in association with Seagal...
This is definitely one of the best ones you’ve done. This series is one of the few things I audibly laugh at on the internet.
Space Ice - Thank You for all your videos. This might not make any sense but they have helped me get through some really hard times . Don’t ever stop - A Fan from Florida 👍👍👍
I just discovered your channel a couple weeks ago and I've been obsessed ever since. It's been non-stop repeats of your videos, especially steven segal ones. You've made my day by releasing this new one for me to put on repeat. Hope there are many more to come! Thank you sir!
The fact that Steven Seagal invented the early ragdoll mechanic is genius
7:10 "But that's not on them, because a lifeless clump of mass was the role he was born for!" "But they're pretty sure there was a bean bag chair here earlier," I spit out my freaking coffee at that comment! That is pure freaking gold I tell you...GOLD!!😂🤣😂☠
When i was 12 a girl asked my favorite movie and i told her this... she stopped talking to me a bit later. She was a dime at the end of HS. Really screwed up
Steven Seagal, one of the greatest unintentional comedy actors in the cinematic history.
Hes a comedy action star.
“I’m a very funny guy, if you’ll forgive me for saying so. When I did The Glimmer Man with Keenan Ivory Wayans, he and I were talking about who was funniest, and… I kicked his ass every day.” - Steven Seagal, in an interview with The Philadelphia
That wise old man bit where they keep cutting back to him like, see I told you so, is gold
with the stupid soundtrack in the background
Had me in literal tears! 😭 😂
@@donmcdouglas5017 Yes! That's the icing on the cake
I would pay to see a Seagal movie narrated by Space Ice in theaters.
one time i was swimming in the river and found this movie on dvd in the river, i fished it out and watched it, it still worked too. years later i regret it and wished i left it in the river lol.
I can't tell if this is true or not, but still laughing my ass off. Also enjoying thinking about the poor bastard that actually paid for this movie in the first place and them being so pissed that they threw it in the river in the first place.
You're like Gollum finding the one ring but instead you found Seagulls latest shovel cinema outing.
sorry to say but yes its true, i actually found this trash in the river while swimming.@@HartleySan
@@Punisher6791 Thanks for sharing. Made my day!
I'd rather find moose droppings than this movie.
11:48 Opening that "Door" with a Rocket Launcher R O F L
100% certain that Ja Rule is the Steven Seagal of the rap world
We have mumble rap so not even close.
Nah thats Tom Macdonald
@@galloneye64😂
U must be a 50 cent fan 😂😂😂
Soulja Boy is the Steven Seagal of rap music
My dad took me to see this in the theater when it released. Watching it as an adult is not the same 🤣😞
His first few films (when he was actually trying) were pretty good, he just went downhill very VERY fast!
I think your intro summarized this movie perfectly. Seagal went in somewhere, did a bunch of stuff, a bunch of people got hurt and died, and what for? Absolutely nothing at all. Even if there was one criminal mastermind behind it all, Seagal would still somehow kill more innocent people and people who had nothing to do with it before revealing this grand plot that so-so who he could have just taken a taxi to confront.
I remember watching this movie on Star Movies channel in 2006 with my dad and we both were laughing out loud so much that even the neighbors started watching it and laughing too. 🤣🤣🤣
" For reasons I refuse to get into "
Seriously this commentary never disappoints xD.
Wow this dude is hilarious man 😂 , he has the perfect voice and timing for his sarcasm , it really hits so hard . You got a new sub and fan my guy .
By 8:23 I was in tears, laughing as a maniac and howling, gasping for air.
Well done!
I saw this movie as a teen but somehow i didn't remember how much Ja Rule gets ragdolled but somehow still survives unharmed. It's so stupid i love it. I wonder how they convinced him to accept the role, he always seemed like an ego andy to me.
The fact that Seagal has amassed at least 12 of the 13 'Worst Movies Ever' is testament to his consistent towering achievement and dedication 😐🙄😐
Ja Rule was acquitted on the murder charges from the opening scene.
He was actually in prison for scamming music festival attendants.
It's weird, this movie seems to be far and away the best Seagal movie. it's not GOOD, but that bit where he flung that dude out the passenger side was kind of funny. That's, like, one more good bit than we usually get from him! Congradulations Mr Seagal.
Isn't the best Seagal movie Under Siege ?
I don't count that as a Seagal movie, that's a mainstream film which just happens to have him in it. It's not one of these mafia money laundering schemes. @@angelpacheco1608
@@angelpacheco1608 hands down.
His early movies, Above the Law, Marked for Death, and Under Siege were decent action movies....
I just finished watching Top Gut, then saw the Half Past Dead title. Not sure why but the "in that order" in the title made me laugh uncontrollably.😂 After the first minute my wife started recording me trying to get it under control. I finally got it after my kids woke up and my face was drenched. I have never laughed like that.
After a whole year of none stop stress, this was the laugh I needed. Thank you for that.
I'll be uploading it soon.
Uploaded the video
11:28 “being heavy is what he does best” 😂
It's been a tough week. This is just what I needed. Watching Steven Seagal being the biggest badass in the world.
Keeps his fan guessing, lol.
Singular.
The action in this one doesn't seem half bad compared to other Seagal movies. It's weird that Seagal let himself be upstaged by people who actually seem to know a thing or two about fighting and choreography, like the eyeshadow chick.
This was an actual mainstream movie with decent budget. After this flopped Steven Seagal became the direct to DVD master he is today.
In his mind he taught her and everyone else.
"We get one of the shootouts of all time" absolutely killed me
Space Ice: "im best at making fun of Steven Seagal..."
Steven :"I taught him that..."
When I was a kid, thought Seagal was so badass. Now I changed my mind after watching your videos 😂😂😂
How anyone at any age could think this loser is badass is insane
Seagal's movies when he was young were actually good because he was just acting in them. When he started writing and producing his own movies, it's when they started to suck because Steven Seagal himself sucks at writing and producing.
@@sygmarvexarion7891 no no no. Just bad. Even when he first started
I keep forgetting we are in the era of letting youtubers decide our opinions for us now.
@@Tyler-qh7bfnope. Stop hating goof. His early films were good.
"Then we get one of the shootouts of all time" pure gold, man 😂
“A lifeless clump of mass is the role he was made for!” OMG. That one may have just ended me.
Space ice's intro about the "mega blockbuster hit" and "where he shows the world" makes me laugh every time without fail.
I utter that line out loud to myself without context all the time. It's such a great mockery to Seagal's movie "career"
@@AbsurdistAsianMeeeegaa blockbuster hit
I had an actual laughing fit when at the end it was implied that the pretty young thing Seagal always ends up banging in his movies was Ja Rule. I almost passed out from laughing so much.
The highly advanced spray and pray method had me dead 😂
"They truly are The Fat and The Furious"
😂
4:41 This might be the only time in a Seagal movie where you see him in pain. His movies are so fictional that he is never seen in pain at all.
"Hell yeah! Kids beat his ass way worse then that all the time!"
I literally doubled over laughing at this, completely uncontrolled. Space Ice is the GOAT at whatever the hell genre of video this is. This is basically his own genre nkw
2:53 "Then we get one of the shootouts of all time."
just appreciating this might be the best line of all time.
Stephen Cannell was in this movie..the creator of the A-team and the Rockford Files
So was Claudia Christian. The woman who played Ivanova in Babylon 5. And Nia Peeples is the villain. Did they need money this badly?!