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Tobey: *took a grenade to the face and still survives* Andrew: *gets electrocuted and still survives* Tom: *gets hit by a bullet train and still survives* Ezekiel: *dies to a fucking Pepsi logo*
I’m so glad that product placement has come this far in movies🤣. Forget background subliminal stuff, we straight up got a soda company killing the bad guy. Next movie is just going to be a baskin robins employee doing a superhero landing and laser-eyeing the bad guys like homelander
I'm surprised you didn't mention how Ezekiel was obviously dubbed. His voice sounds like it's recorded in a small room and doesn't resonate in any of the environments he's in. Her getting blinded was the best and funniest scene in the entire movie. She's been able to predict every single thing, but the one-time her powers didn't activate, she gets blinded. All movies around the Madame Web movie have also been canceled. So that's good
@@maddydohnt3736 Was this movie made on the lowest budget possible, with a low rent Spider-Man ripoff? I know Madame Web is a Spider-Man related character, but even as a fan of Spiderman, I couldn't recognize her name...I thought it was some cheap low budgeted horror movie or something. Glad I didn't see it.
@shawnfields2369 idk but I instantly noticed the horrible dubbing for that guy and it put me off, like if I as an average viewer noticed it, why didn't they fix it? Like this is a Marvel movie wtf
@@maddydohnt3736 I don't know either. Like I said, despite Spidey being my favorite superhero, I didn't even realize that Ms. Dum Web even was SUPPOSED to be a Spiderman character! I thought she was an original character they'd just made up recently, and even though I grew up with the '90s Spider-Man cartoon, I did NOT recognize Madeline W. Web WAS an actual comic book character. And during the cartoon's run, was always voiced by the late, great Stan Lee's own wife! And Stan Lee himself would often guest star in some episodes, which turned out to be some of the best episodes of the 90's Spider-Man. And part of why it's so amazing. Along with the show's theme song, and the N64 game. Oh right, I don't know why they didn't fix his laughably bad dubbed voice either...wouldn't have fixed the entire thing, though because the WHOLE movie is just filled to the brim with awfulness, and is a complete disaster from beginning to end. Glad everything surrounding it was canned. Because whoever thought getting the lead actress from those godawful 50 shades of Dogshit movies to be Madeleine Webster, was a TERRIBLE idea.
It astounded me that Sydney Sweeney's character was supposed to be 14. She looked every bit her real age, mid 20s, no matter how much they tried to make her look younger.
Another funny thing is the obvious meme everyone did about her. She's known for....well, her more sensual looks.....and we're supposed to look at both her and the girl who stared in 50 Shades of Grey like they're normal characters?
Her character is Julia Carpenter who is an adult in her 30’s not a teen. However I get how movies want to make certain characters start as teens at times. For Sydney I hope the rumors are true of her being Black Cat
Madame Web could've been a thriller that tells about three teenagers who are kidnapped by a delusional lady who claims that she can see the future and they must fight their way out
Madam Web made several appearances in the 90's Spiderman cartoon. Ayylien is right, she was an old blind, paralyzed clairvoyant who was there for people to seek answers from which in this case is Peter. She doesn't do any physical superhero stuff. She shouldn't have her own movie, she should be in a Spiderman movie guiding and advising Peter. She should be played by someone like Helen Mirren though Meryl Streep is also a good choice. Fun fact: Madam Web in the cartoon was voiced by Stan Lee's wife.
Madame Web was originally featured in a couple old Spiderman comics and the animated series in the 90s. She would always grab Peter at the most inopportune times and leave him with a cryptic message and drop him in a random location. She never deserved a whole movie because there's not enough there to make a whole movie about her. She's supposed to be some mysterious otherworldly figure that comes and goes at will. More of a Cheshire Cat sort of character than a Queen of Hearts.
I get the idea of not wanting to dump all over people's hard work, but they are still charging us real money for the privilege to watch what they made.
Why is shitting on peoples hard work a bad thing, everything takes "hard" work, even throwing plastic to the ocean and trafficking children does You should not be ashamed of that lol
That's why Chris Stuckmanns philosophy annoys me so much. Yes art takes a lot of work but you're not entitled to people liking or being nice about your work. ESPECIALLY if it's a product people are being asked to spend their time and money on
10:09 - "Cassandra Webb was born and raised in Salem, OR. She was born blind." Screenwriter(s): "What's that you say? A NY paramedic who was blinded by a firework? Gotcha!"
@@kdusel1991 not even that. They should have learnt to not hire terrible writers, directors and actors who don't give a crap about spiderman for their large budget Spiderman adjacent movies.
Your idea of Madam Web is exactly the right take. Yes, she has her own comic series, but she's really known for providing guidance and assistance to other heros, mostly other spider people. It's funny that a person with no prior knowledge to Madam Web gets the character and how unusual it would be to get her own movie.
"He was in the Amazon with my mom, when she was researching spiders, just before she died." A line so infamous, John Mulaney gloriously roasted it at the Oscars, almost a month after release.
My friend who works for production/ entertainment companies and is a SAG voice actor refers to this and Morbius as 'front' films -- films released (somewhat Producers style) to maintain an IP, claim a loss in financial filings or to push out and discount certain types of films, characters or narratives (which is why you see so many of these films associated with POC or female directors -- "DEI initiatives" becomes an excuse for a film failing instead of the company wanting a film to tank for their own benefit). Pay attention when directors and writers speak out about a production company wanting their films to fail or changing key elements of the narrative (especially when it's for the worse)... it's a real thing.
Fun fact: It was recently revealed by the film's concept artist that *TOM HOLLAND'S SPIDER-MAN WAS NOT ONLY GOING TO APPEAR, BUT ALSO FIGHT EZEKIEL AT SOME POINT* _How this makes sense with the movie taking place in 2003 (despite showing A MAN USING A PSP [ _*_WHICH WASN'T RELEASED UNTIL 2006_*_ ] ON THE TRAIN), I will never know._
That would've made things more interesting at least. Probably shows up via multiversal shenanigans pulled there by Madame Web's 'Web Powers' (activated when she says "IT'S WEBBING TIME!" and webs all over the place).
Wow. My mom has myasthenia gravis. The condition doesn't make you blind, but causes weakness/drooping of the eyelids and possible vision issues. It's a disease that can be difficult to detect, especially in children, because many autoimmune disease have similar symptoms. The symptoms can come and go, so one day you can see fine and the next your eyelid is drooping and you have double vision. What an unfitting disease to pick. Also like you said, not genetic and not something that can be diagnosed in the womb. Not the worst part of the movie, but that definitely stood out to me.
How Sony is smart enough to make some of the world's best cameras, sensors, audio equipment, theater systems and yet fail completely movie wise always baffles me.
its very easy to see why , its not about the movie or the lore , its about stroing independoint woman, diversity , and all the other manipulation garbage
Different companies. They share the name, but are totally different entities with different ceos, executives, businesses strategy, etc. They dont even share assets or debt.
Its baffling how so few people are blaming Dakota. Her performance is genuinely, mind-bogglingly BAD. Her dialogue delivery is so deadpan its like she's half asleep throughout her scenes.
English isn't my main language, and the phrase "he was in the Amazon with my mom, when she was researching spiders, just before she died." sounds super weird but I can't put my finger on why exactly lmao
It's because it's stacking clauses. People don't really speak like this unless they're awkward and don't really know what they're saying. This is normal and _fine_ in real life, like while you're doing a presentation or something, and someone asks you a question and you're caught off guard, so your brain starts forming a sentence and ends up somewhere else. But most media tries to streamline dialogue as much as possible (except when making a point with a socially awkward character) because otherwise it's just painful. Same way we don't see the characters go to the toilet every few hours 😅
not native speaker either, but to me it sounds like toddler speak, where the kid tries to put as much as information in one sentence but never properly finished a sentence because the toddler still wants to put more information into it....
In spoken word it feels unbelievable weird because there is an assumed interlink between three seemingly random idea. "This man was with my mother in the Amazon" "My mother studied spiders" And "My mother is dead" This is too much information, given in such an uncomfortable way. If they wanted to give this information in a more organic way, it should be something like "he was in amazon, back when my mom was studying spiders, back when she died" Because it connects the idea that studying spiders and mom dying is connected. You dont have to introduce that "he" and "mom" were in the same place because thsts implied. It's not perfect but these three things are so disconnected as it stands and it's three things that dont naturally connect imo
Because it's wayy to complicated for a simple statement of info. "He was with my mom in the Amazon. They were researching spiders and she died there." Or "he was with my mom in her research for spiders in the Amazons. She never came back"
how did a newborn baby get to new york from a jungle in the middle of nowhere? did the native spider people make a spider plane and just happened to know the geography of the world and abandon a baby in a random city in a random country? did they follow the guy that murdered his team and say "yea, he will be the perfect parent for this baby" and throw her onto his plane? any tribe of people would have been praising whatever god they believed in for this incredible new source of fresh blood to bring into the tribe.
The "final destination" idea actually sounds good. A psychic that can see the future has to save somebodies life, but they just keep dying over and over again. Make it a comedy and it could work great.
The original Charmed TV series did it. The incidents kept getting worse, it messed with his head to keep having bad things happen that put others in danger, and eventually the sisters had to concede defeat and let him die because it was his time. It was played straight, not as a joke, and ended up being a good episode
22:18 Yeah why did he decide to beat this random trucker guy’s ass? Dude was just chilling, eating a burger, and minding his own business then Edgy Wattpad Spider-Man OC hops on the table and slams his face into the window for literally no reason
@@juliusgreen9179 Oh ok. So Evil Cosplay Speedermon just beats up random truckers(and other people), because he's evil? No other reasons? Just making sure.
@@juliusgreen9179 That makes sense. Because I've NEVER heard of or even SEEN this "Ezekiel Simmons" dude before. I thought he was just an original character, created to be the Villain(tm), or a super obscure Spider-Man character that I've just never heard of or seen before. But Jeremy Jahns explains during his review that Ezekiel NEVER wore a Cosplay Speed Demon Spider-Man OC Costume in the comics, just always walked around, with no shoes on, ever, or crawled around on buildings and walls, but never in costume, apparently. So they got that aspect of Simmons right, I guess? So that's one point for Madame & The WebZ.
Honestly the idea you alluded to of a superhero film from the perspective of the wise elderly sage that the heroes consult in a time of crisis would indeed be more interesting & much more compelling than the tripe that is Madame Web especially in the hands of actually competent writers
Fun fact for those who didn’t read the comics Madame Web is supposed to be an old lady with almost god like powers. In the 90s cartoon she even summoned a team of different Spider-man variants
She was also a mutant who was fully paralized and only lived because of her chair. The webs around her chair are tubes for the life support system created by her husband created by her husband.
My friends and I kept making fun of how Dakota Johnson says in all the trailers, “You’re gonna want to see it *multiple* times.” And I left the theater and looked at my friends said, “I do NOT want to see this multiple times, I regret seeing it once.”
@@m0nsterman902 Marvels wasn't great. It was entertaining. Madam Web was just difficult to watch. At least Marvels had some clever fight scenes and the cats made it for me. It was so silly it was enjoyable.
I was also thinking the movie would have been better with madam web being more like she is in the comics. She honestly would have been cooler and different because she would be like this cool elderly female superhero. I would dig that.
this is like chocolate butthole he say does you really wanting hurts me? does you am want making me cry? precious kiss is word that is make burns on me. lovers is for evers ask you why? why? why? why? why?
Dakota Johnson complaining about being "fooled" into this while literally making 0 effort to be honest in interviews or do her own research is crazy lol
@@Highweaver2 I mean she clearly knew that the movie is gonna suck hard even before its release, so no wonder she gave no crap about researching its lore and so on
well what if dakota just truthed in your face "like ai generated movie for your boyfriend" She must have a quite convincing boyfriend. she doesnt seem very smart so maybe she sold the truth as a joke on saturday night live.
"with great responsibility, power will come" that's not how it works. that's not how ANY OF THIS WORKS. at least we have the Spider-Verse to look forward to
hi! directors are in fact not “in charge of the entire narrative”, especially not when hired by a studio to do commission work. that is only the case in what we call “auteur” films, which is not the case for most blockbusters. your comparison with tv was correct because it is exactly the same. what you call “showrunners” are the producers, which is the same thing in film. hope that helps anyone who wants to learn about filmmaking :)
I purchased 3 IMAX tickets for my friends and I because we thought this movie would be funny bad. My friend who was the biggest Spider-man fan was personally hurt, and I feel responsible for his pain.
I went to see Ghostbusters 2016 thinking it would be so bad it was funny. I fully expected to laugh hard at how shit it was. But it was just a painful chore that couldn’t even be unintentionally hilarious. Melissa McCarthy movie scene improv is just ☠️ Does she seriously believe that screeching about not getting enough wontons in her takeaway wonton soup is in any way funny? 😑
Couple of years ago there was this lowkey viral clip of fight scene from The Witcher with ''Toxic'' playing in the background and it actually working really well together, so it almost feels like they saw the video and decided to do their own version in Madame Web.
The characters in this movie meet on a train in GCT, going to Poughkeepsie. Trains going from Po-town to NYC don't even go to GCT, they go to Penn Station.
Hey Elvis! The fireworks scene is pretty believable. There have been a few cases of an entire industrial complex just crumbling due to one firework building going up in smokes. The only thing I can’t believe is the writers thought this through. They would’ve needed much more firepower to my understanding which is way more laughable.
Maybe many cooking off and exploding all at once in a confined space... But single rogue fireworks aren't going to physically destroy stuff like that. Conventional firework ≠ anti-aircraft warhead.
@@jakeeastman5885then why he's not leading DC now? Is it because Snyder is busy making his masterpiece, the one where he clone Star Wars and Dune, but worse?
The movie where the bad guy got crushed to death by a giant Pepsi billboard is absolute comedic way to go out with. Seriously the actress hates this movie, even she's not a huge fan of Marvel films. They even forced her to do this role that she wasn't interested in doing. She even fired her agent after this movie flopped.
I was literally thinking about Meryll Streep for this role while watching this video. Madame web is a seasoned woman to which the marvel superheroes go (like still alive Elvis said). They could have gone Christopher Nolan Batman level with this. But no they just chose again for a very cheap cash grab. Kind of what’s the world we live in is about right now. I hate it and I’m ashamed 😔
Also why do these fireworks seem to have the destructive force of a missile? I've no doubt getting hit with a firework is bad for a person, but blowing up a helicopter? Blasting down a metal sign? Shooting holes through a sheet metal roof? Dakota gets decked in the face with one but her face isn't _exploded_ like it should be
Spiders are so dang cool man. I wish I could get bit by a spider. My cousin got bit by a spider and gained the power of his bite mark eating away his flesh for a few weeks. Pretty magical
wait by 2003 im pretty sure fireworks were banned from most big cities. i thought they were going with "this is the past, when people made fireworks that were as strong as grenades and kept them stacked up in unsealed crates in warehouses"
What a surprise, Dakota "Nepotism" Johnson, known from such amazing films as: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, was a shit lead for a Marvel movie she couldn't give a shit about.
Not a single person responsible for this mess gave a shit about it, let's be real here. And I dunno why, but it's really funny how you called Johnson the "Nepotism" while the Morbius writers were literally sitting right there 🤣
They keep making terrible Spiderman movies too, when it wasn't Sam raimi passion project or actually produced by marvel. Amazing Spiderman 1 and 2 were absolute garbage even for Sony.
I can't vouch for the truthfulness of the following theory I heard, but it makes sense...kinda: Sony's rights to the Spiderman property require that the company actively makes use of it within a prearranged window of time. If Sony fails to deliver, the film rights either defer to some specific company, or (perhaps) all other movie studios get the opportunity to bid for it. Sorry, it's hard to explain.
@@drewgoin8849Yeah, they have to make a movie in every 5 years to keep the rights. They had quite a rush with TASM and it shows. Also, they have to make an origin story if it's not a sequel. It's in their contract. Tom Holland version was an exception because it's set in MCU.
At 24:45 it may sound bad but honestly a little tweaking and a different delivery and it could work. Like a parallel to “with great power comes great responsibility” and instead using a theme of “with great power comes absolute control” and bam you’re starting to cook
Getting cast as a marvel superhero is basically the endgame for actors with almost a guarantee of then getting more work as the role that happens to pays a ton and be excellent exposure/family friendly. So much so that roles for certain heros/villains are used as a bartering tool now with actors, thats how people who know nothing about marvel end up as marvel characters they "earned it" in another way. 🙃
There’s something so unbelievably funny about meme queen Dakota Johnson being in a superhero movie that I ended up weirdly loving it. It was horrendous but I couldn’t keep my eyes off the screen.
No. She’s a spoiled nepotism baby. She can’t act for shit. She would’ve never been cast in a single film if she wasn’t the daughter of an A list actress.
There was a series called Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, and it was a great show. However they came out with a full length movie and the pacing was really off, so I think its difficult to transition from one to the other.
I agree with Dakota Johnson about movies like this being made by committees. Madame Webb, Mrobius, basically all of the DCEU. There's no real effort at making genuinely good movies, it's all just jumping on the bandwagon that the MCU was driving. Granted, the MCU is kind of suffering right now... But for a long while there, they had something beautiful and it happened because they were actually trying to make good movies. These other studios are just churning out all this crap in an attempt to replicate that success.
Hey, I like Toast I'm referring to the slightly scorched bread that comes out of a device made specifically for that purpose...Not the movie "Toast". I've not seen it, don't imagine I will.
When Cassandra yelled "Stay away from Ma-damn family or I'll surf the Web!" I webbed my pants. I had a similar reaction to Ben saying "Take your ass and Park 'er right there!" and Ezekiel saying "I'm evil!"
Imagine her always being blind since birth because of the spider venom. But her powers only starts awakening once the spiderdude starts his killing spree. OR As her power progresses throughout the film, she slowly loses her vision.
I'm surprised that you haven't noticed the obvious mistake in the movie that was; the girls recoganizing Ezekiel from the photo that is brought back by Cassey from her apartment. They have only seen Ezekiel as the "Spider person" wearing a mask. They asked Cassey that how she knew him. Who in the right mind would wrote this logically devoid story?
I love how Ezekiel tried to kill 3 random girls when the literal totem of Spider people was being born down the street 💀 Also the reason the timeline doesn’t make sense is because originally the movie was going to bring in Andrew Garfield’s Spidey and then wanted to do Toms Spidey instead and then decided to not do it at all… neither of their characters would’ve been born in 2003 :)
@@base21 He would’ve been born… but he wouldn’t have been born in 2003- TASM takes place in 2013, so if he was born in 03 then he would’ve been 10 which wouldn’t work as he’s 16 in the film… so that means he would’ve been born in the late 90s Same with Tom. He said he was 15 in homecoming and that took place 2016 so he would’ve been born in 2001, so he can’t be this universes Spidey either
I'm pretty sure there is a Madame Web comic book I found at the library when i was a kid that was supposed to be her origin story and her parents were scientist working on that fancy red spider in a lab trying to use it to save their daughter. There were a lot of other details and that is just a minor change but I feel like doing that would have gave the movie more heart.
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Easy dislike for the garbage sponsor. And that added urgency crap is a good ol garbage trick.
5:15 skip ad
I’m good thanks tho
Review Ang Lee's Hulk movie
Review the sorcerers apprentice
Tobey: *took a grenade to the face and still survives*
Andrew: *gets electrocuted and still survives*
Tom: *gets hit by a bullet train and still survives*
Ezekiel: *dies to a fucking Pepsi logo*
Pepsi so good it killed the spider before the goblin
Not even the whole fuqin logo, Just the "S" !!! Like a beetch...
I’m so glad that product placement has come this far in movies🤣. Forget background subliminal stuff, we straight up got a soda company killing the bad guy. Next movie is just going to be a baskin robins employee doing a superhero landing and laser-eyeing the bad guys like homelander
I got bit by a spider until…
*I took an arrow to the knee*
@@Shiestey I mean, British Airways. Moonraker. "How much does one have to pay so that your ad is the one to make the bad guy bite it?" (Film Brain)
"No one survives after enough poison enters their system..."
No shit dude that's how poison fucking works lmao.
Modern writers really have soooooo much faith in their audiences intelligence lol
It actually can be said about literally everything. No one survives after enough salt/suger/vaniger/water/ink/chulk/tomato enters their system.
I genuinely thought that Morbius was the worst spiderman-adjacent movie that Sony could possibly release. Sony just has to keep proving me wrong.
I shall now be calling it SMACU(Spider-Man Adjacent Cinematic Universe) now thanks to you.
It's interesting given the fact that it's the same damn writer...
It's A MORBIUSing time!
Sony said hold my beer 😂
Wait for Kraven 😂
I'm surprised you didn't mention how Ezekiel was obviously dubbed. His voice sounds like it's recorded in a small room and doesn't resonate in any of the environments he's in. Her getting blinded was the best and funniest scene in the entire movie. She's been able to predict every single thing, but the one-time her powers didn't activate, she gets blinded. All movies around the Madame Web movie have also been canceled. So that's good
Most films are dubbed. Usually it's standard procedure for all the actors and actresses to re do their lines in a studio for cleaner audio
Yes, it was so obvious and made the movie seem low budget lol
@@maddydohnt3736 Was this movie made on the lowest budget possible, with a low rent Spider-Man ripoff? I know Madame Web is a Spider-Man related character, but even as a fan of Spiderman, I couldn't recognize her name...I thought it was some cheap low budgeted horror movie or something. Glad I didn't see it.
@shawnfields2369 idk but I instantly noticed the horrible dubbing for that guy and it put me off, like if I as an average viewer noticed it, why didn't they fix it? Like this is a Marvel movie wtf
@@maddydohnt3736 I don't know either. Like I said, despite Spidey being my favorite superhero, I didn't even realize that Ms. Dum Web even was SUPPOSED to be a Spiderman character! I thought she was an original character they'd just made up recently, and even though I grew up with the '90s Spider-Man cartoon, I did NOT recognize Madeline W. Web WAS an actual comic book character. And during the cartoon's run, was always voiced by the late, great Stan Lee's own wife! And Stan Lee himself would often guest star in some episodes, which turned out to be some of the best episodes of the 90's Spider-Man. And part of why it's so amazing. Along with the show's theme song, and the N64 game.
Oh right, I don't know why they didn't fix his laughably bad dubbed voice either...wouldn't have fixed the entire thing, though because the WHOLE movie is just filled to the brim with awfulness, and is a complete disaster from beginning to end. Glad everything surrounding it was canned. Because whoever thought getting the lead actress from those godawful 50 shades of Dogshit movies to be Madeleine Webster, was a TERRIBLE idea.
It astounded me that Sydney Sweeney's character was supposed to be 14. She looked every bit her real age, mid 20s, no matter how much they tried to make her look younger.
She was supposed to be 14? 😅
Really? But she’s a paramedic 😅
Another funny thing is the obvious meme everyone did about her.
She's known for....well, her more sensual looks.....and we're supposed to look at both her and the girl who stared in 50 Shades of Grey like they're normal characters?
Her character is Julia Carpenter who is an adult in her 30’s not a teen. However I get how movies want to make certain characters start as teens at times. For Sydney I hope the rumors are true of her being Black Cat
@@jetiscute1 Do you not know who hes talking about?
Madame Web could've been a thriller that tells about three teenagers who are kidnapped by a delusional lady who claims that she can see the future and they must fight their way out
split
That sounds like a good movie.
@@BarryHart-xo1oy And I'm willing to bet...it was.
@@chronic_leuk7463 Split was confusing tho
@@Man77772Not as confusing as Madame Web
Madam Web made several appearances in the 90's Spiderman cartoon. Ayylien is right, she was an old blind, paralyzed clairvoyant who was there for people to seek answers from which in this case is Peter. She doesn't do any physical superhero stuff. She shouldn't have her own movie, she should be in a Spiderman movie guiding and advising Peter. She should be played by someone like Helen Mirren though Meryl Streep is also a good choice. Fun fact: Madam Web in the cartoon was voiced by Stan Lee's wife.
Thats hilarious cuz from what I remember her VA slaps and fits the character really well.
And in the last episode we get Stan Lee to web sling with Spidey.
*madame web
Ngl that fact is sweet
Spot on with Helen choice. She was exactly the one I had in mind for that role!
Madame Web was originally featured in a couple old Spiderman comics and the animated series in the 90s. She would always grab Peter at the most inopportune times and leave him with a cryptic message and drop him in a random location. She never deserved a whole movie because there's not enough there to make a whole movie about her. She's supposed to be some mysterious otherworldly figure that comes and goes at will. More of a Cheshire Cat sort of character than a Queen of Hearts.
I get the idea of not wanting to dump all over people's hard work, but they are still charging us real money for the privilege to watch what they made.
Reviews are normal, good and bad.
Don't make it personal 🤷♂️
Why is shitting on peoples hard work a bad thing, everything takes "hard" work, even throwing plastic to the ocean and trafficking children does
You should not be ashamed of that lol
You dump on people's hard work. That's how they learn. That's how we get better movies.
🤮@@mbergamin16
That's why Chris Stuckmanns philosophy annoys me so much. Yes art takes a lot of work but you're not entitled to people liking or being nice about your work. ESPECIALLY if it's a product people are being asked to spend their time and money on
10:09 - "Cassandra Webb was born and raised in Salem, OR. She was born blind."
Screenwriter(s): "What's that you say? A NY paramedic who was blinded by a firework? Gotcha!"
It was doomed from the start when they hired Morbius writers.
Morbius's failure should've been a lesson to Sony. Don't make spiderman-adjacent movies without spiderman in them or marvel's involvement
*MORBIN TIME*
@@kdusel1991 not even that. They should have learnt to not hire terrible writers, directors and actors who don't give a crap about spiderman for their large budget Spiderman adjacent movies.
These writers have a history of terrible screenplays but keep selling their terrible screenplays somehow.
DOOM
Your idea of Madam Web is exactly the right take. Yes, she has her own comic series, but she's really known for providing guidance and assistance to other heros, mostly other spider people. It's funny that a person with no prior knowledge to Madam Web gets the character and how unusual it would be to get her own movie.
"He was in the Amazon with my mom, when she was researching spiders, just before she died." A line so infamous, John Mulaney gloriously roasted it at the Oscars, almost a month after release.
😂😂😂😂😂
And it wasn't even in the movie
U guys watch the Oscars?
Honestly given the movie quality I'm surprised her mom wasn't killed in an Amazon Warehouse. One that was shipping Pepsi.
Amazon Prime.
My friend who works for production/ entertainment companies and is a SAG voice actor refers to this and Morbius as 'front' films -- films released (somewhat Producers style) to maintain an IP, claim a loss in financial filings or to push out and discount certain types of films, characters or narratives (which is why you see so many of these films associated with POC or female directors -- "DEI initiatives" becomes an excuse for a film failing instead of the company wanting a film to tank for their own benefit). Pay attention when directors and writers speak out about a production company wanting their films to fail or changing key elements of the narrative (especially when it's for the worse)... it's a real thing.
Fun fact:
It was recently revealed by the film's concept artist that *TOM HOLLAND'S SPIDER-MAN WAS NOT ONLY GOING TO APPEAR, BUT ALSO FIGHT EZEKIEL AT SOME POINT*
_How this makes sense with the movie taking place in 2003 (despite showing A MAN USING A PSP [ _*_WHICH WASN'T RELEASED UNTIL 2006_*_ ] ON THE TRAIN), I will never know._
While listening Toxic from 2004.
well... "it's a different universe you guys" 👀
Actually it came out in 2004.
With his uncle still alive!?
That would've made things more interesting at least. Probably shows up via multiversal shenanigans pulled there by Madame Web's 'Web Powers' (activated when she says "IT'S WEBBING TIME!" and webs all over the place).
Ezekiel: How did you find me?
Madame Web: I found it on the Web.
*End scene*
More people waited to see Elvis roast the movie than actually seeing the film.
Agreed
🤚
Absolutely 😂
I’d rather watch this video than the movie
I am one such person.👍
Wow. My mom has myasthenia gravis. The condition doesn't make you blind, but causes weakness/drooping of the eyelids and possible vision issues. It's a disease that can be difficult to detect, especially in children, because many autoimmune disease have similar symptoms. The symptoms can come and go, so one day you can see fine and the next your eyelid is drooping and you have double vision. What an unfitting disease to pick. Also like you said, not genetic and not something that can be diagnosed in the womb. Not the worst part of the movie, but that definitely stood out to me.
How Sony is smart enough to make some of the world's best cameras, sensors, audio equipment, theater systems and yet fail completely movie wise always baffles me.
I never thought about this ahahahahahahahaha
Different departments and different businesses owned by the same company
With movies you have to be creative and make new stuff, with equipment you can just make iterations of the same
its very easy to see why , its not about the movie or the lore , its about stroing independoint woman, diversity , and all the other manipulation garbage
Different companies.
They share the name, but are totally different entities with different ceos, executives, businesses strategy, etc.
They dont even share assets or debt.
Its baffling how so few people are blaming Dakota. Her performance is genuinely, mind-bogglingly BAD. Her dialogue delivery is so deadpan its like she's half asleep throughout her scenes.
Agree people hated morbius but they praised Matt smith for at least trying to have a good time
@@npcimknot958she' was tricked into doing this movie so she probably didn't care about giving a good performance
I think that's her general acting style 😅
Tbf, I've seen the most talented actors struggle when they're given a terrible script and/or direction
@@NoirValkyrie she is a nepo baby so she's never had to try lol.
English isn't my main language, and the phrase "he was in the Amazon with my mom, when she was researching spiders, just before she died." sounds super weird but I can't put my finger on why exactly lmao
It's because it's stacking clauses. People don't really speak like this unless they're awkward and don't really know what they're saying. This is normal and _fine_ in real life, like while you're doing a presentation or something, and someone asks you a question and you're caught off guard, so your brain starts forming a sentence and ends up somewhere else. But most media tries to streamline dialogue as much as possible (except when making a point with a socially awkward character) because otherwise it's just painful.
Same way we don't see the characters go to the toilet every few hours 😅
not native speaker either, but to me it sounds like toddler speak, where the kid tries to put as much as information in one sentence but never properly finished a sentence because the toddler still wants to put more information into it....
In spoken word it feels unbelievable weird because there is an assumed interlink between three seemingly random idea.
"This man was with my mother in the Amazon"
"My mother studied spiders"
And
"My mother is dead"
This is too much information, given in such an uncomfortable way. If they wanted to give this information in a more organic way, it should be something like
"he was in amazon, back when my mom was studying spiders, back when she died"
Because it connects the idea that studying spiders and mom dying is connected. You dont have to introduce that "he" and "mom" were in the same place because thsts implied. It's not perfect but these three things are so disconnected as it stands and it's three things that dont naturally connect imo
Because it's wayy to complicated for a simple statement of info. "He was with my mom in the Amazon. They were researching spiders and she died there." Or "he was with my mom in her research for spiders in the Amazons. She never came back"
It definetely feels like a child says it.
Like Dakota's character is reading it out straight out of her childhood diary.
how did a newborn baby get to new york from a jungle in the middle of nowhere?
did the native spider people make a spider plane and just happened to know the geography of the world and abandon a baby in a random city in a random country?
did they follow the guy that murdered his team and say "yea, he will be the perfect parent for this baby" and throw her onto his plane?
any tribe of people would have been praising whatever god they believed in for this incredible new source of fresh blood to bring into the tribe.
Can we trick Sony into re-releasing this into theaters like with Morbius?
There's going to be a Morbius 2. How? Why? Who?
It's not as meme sadly
morbius was bad but memeworthy hence the popularity
madame web is just boring that no one really cared
@@IWantToPetYourDog 2 Morb, 2 Ius
The "final destination" idea actually sounds good. A psychic that can see the future has to save somebodies life, but they just keep dying over and over again. Make it a comedy and it could work great.
The original Charmed TV series did it. The incidents kept getting worse, it messed with his head to keep having bad things happen that put others in danger, and eventually the sisters had to concede defeat and let him die because it was his time. It was played straight, not as a joke, and ended up being a good episode
22:18
Yeah why did he decide to beat this random trucker guy’s ass? Dude was just chilling, eating a burger, and minding his own business then Edgy Wattpad Spider-Man OC hops on the table and slams his face into the window for literally no reason
Because he is *evil*
@@juliusgreen9179 Oh ok. So Evil Cosplay Speedermon just beats up random truckers(and other people), because he's evil? No other reasons? Just making sure.
@@shawnfields2369 he is... the Villain™
@@juliusgreen9179 That makes sense. Because I've NEVER heard of or even SEEN this "Ezekiel Simmons" dude before. I thought he was just an original character, created to be the Villain(tm), or a super obscure Spider-Man character that I've just never heard of or seen before. But Jeremy Jahns explains during his review that Ezekiel NEVER wore a Cosplay Speed Demon Spider-Man OC Costume in the comics, just always walked around, with no shoes on, ever, or crawled around on buildings and walls, but never in costume, apparently. So they got that aspect of Simmons right, I guess? So that's one point for Madame & The WebZ.
@@shawnfields2369Ezecial killed him bc the Trucker didn't tip his waitress! 😡😡
Honestly the idea you alluded to of a superhero film from the perspective of the wise elderly sage that the heroes consult in a time of crisis would indeed be more interesting & much more compelling than the tripe that is Madame Web especially in the hands of actually competent writers
Fun fact for those who didn’t read the comics Madame Web is supposed to be an old lady with almost god like powers. In the 90s cartoon she even summoned a team of different Spider-man variants
She was also a mutant who was fully paralized and only lived because of her chair. The webs around her chair are tubes for the life support system created by her husband created by her husband.
90s Spider-Man was the first true Spiderverse
*madame
@@Numberonedaredevilfanthank you
He literally mentions that at the start of the video, how is that a fun fact?
My friends and I kept making fun of how Dakota Johnson says in all the trailers, “You’re gonna want to see it *multiple* times.” And I left the theater and looked at my friends said, “I do NOT want to see this multiple times, I regret seeing it once.”
The biggest embarrassment from a major studio I’ve seen in a very long time.
The Marvels anyone?
In a very long time? 🤔😆
@@m0nsterman902 Marvels wasn't great. It was entertaining. Madam Web was just difficult to watch. At least Marvels had some clever fight scenes and the cats made it for me. It was so silly it was enjoyable.
Justice League 2017 and Gods of Egypt.
@@rascoehunter3608 What the hell is Gods of Eqypt? Never heard of it. I must Google.
I was also thinking the movie would have been better with madam web being more like she is in the comics. She honestly would have been cooler and different because she would be like this cool elderly female superhero. I would dig that.
Spiderman and the goblet of man. Truly a classic.
I thought she said "Gauntlet of Man".
this is like chocolate butthole
he say does you really wanting hurts me? does you am want making me cry? precious kiss is word that is make burns on me. lovers is for evers ask you why? why? why? why? why?
Dakota Johnson complaining about being "fooled" into this while literally making 0 effort to be honest in interviews or do her own research is crazy lol
@@Highweaver2 I mean she clearly knew that the movie is gonna suck hard even before its release, so no wonder she gave no crap about researching its lore and so on
@@drewgoin8849no she said goblet, like as in Harry Potter and the goblet of fire
Is Madame Web’s superpower really vehicular manslaughter with extra steps? This movie makes me feel like it is.
It feels like am ENTIRELY AI created film.
well what if dakota just truthed in your face "like ai generated movie for your boyfriend" She must have a quite convincing boyfriend. she doesnt seem very smart so maybe she sold the truth as a joke on saturday night live.
15:26 “They took my spiderrr” I laughed so hard my chest hurt that delivery is fantastic 🎉
"with great responsibility, power will come"
that's not how it works. that's not how ANY OF THIS WORKS.
at least we have the Spider-Verse to look forward to
If you have responsibles, you is make great power for make crushing your enemies. This is number one true inshallah.
“When you take on the responsibility”
"With great power, comes the absolute certainty that you'll turn into a right c*nt." - Billy Butcher
hi! directors are in fact not “in charge of the entire narrative”, especially not when hired by a studio to do commission work. that is only the case in what we call “auteur” films, which is not the case for most blockbusters. your comparison with tv was correct because it is exactly the same. what you call “showrunners” are the producers, which is the same thing in film. hope that helps anyone who wants to learn about filmmaking :)
It's Madame Time
This will get a lot of likes i know cuz my spider sense is tingling
Easily the best part of the movie when she maded all over those guys
One of the movies of all time, only behind Morbius
You madam, bro?
Madame knews all of it because she searched it on the web.
You can always count on Elvis to destroy a bad movie with the largest smile, and it draws a smiles on your face as wide as the arc in a Pepsi logo.
I purchased 3 IMAX tickets for my friends and I because we thought this movie would be funny bad. My friend who was the biggest Spider-man fan was personally hurt, and I feel responsible for his pain.
I went to see Ghostbusters 2016 thinking it would be so bad it was funny. I fully expected to laugh hard at how shit it was. But it was just a painful chore that couldn’t even be unintentionally hilarious.
Melissa McCarthy movie scene improv is just ☠️ Does she seriously believe that screeching about not getting enough wontons in her takeaway wonton soup is in any way funny? 😑
Couple of years ago there was this lowkey viral clip of fight scene from The Witcher with ''Toxic'' playing in the background and it actually working really well together, so it almost feels like they saw the video and decided to do their own version in Madame Web.
Ezikiel: You can't beat me.
Web: I know, but they can.
Pepsi
That idea of having Meryl Streep play Madam Web is lowkey gold lol I would watch that
Madame Web is a fever dream of a movie that questions my sanity every second I watch it
...I could not bring myself to do it...
How was a blind paraplegic woman allowed to take care of the teenage girls?
The characters in this movie meet on a train in GCT, going to Poughkeepsie. Trains going from Po-town to NYC don't even go to GCT, they go to Penn Station.
everyone saw the trailer for this and was like "this is gonna be bad" and then it was bad
Damn that's crazy dude
and Sony was like: expectations well met, another win 😎
Every time Ezekiel spoke, it was like he was gargling marbles.
*MoY sPoYdEr. DaY tOoK mAy SpOydUrRrRR.*
Hey Elvis! The fireworks scene is pretty believable. There have been a few cases of an entire industrial complex just crumbling due to one firework building going up in smokes.
The only thing I can’t believe is the writers thought this through. They would’ve needed much more firepower to my understanding which is way more laughable.
Maybe many cooking off and exploding all at once in a confined space... But single rogue fireworks aren't going to physically destroy stuff like that. Conventional firework ≠ anti-aircraft warhead.
Maybe they copied it from another movie?
They wanted to make a real life version of the term “Hot Garbage” so they got Sydney Sweeney and put her in this movie
The Sony Spider-verse makes the DCEU look like prime era MCU.
Synder's DC is better than Marvel
They both suck ass right now.@@jakeeastman5885
@@jakeeastman5885then why he's not leading DC now? Is it because Snyder is busy making his masterpiece, the one where he clone Star Wars and Dune, but worse?
@@plstmb6000the synderverse sucked. I'm glad he left DC.
@@kdusel1991 Batman Vs Superman was amazing tho
The movie where the bad guy got crushed to death by a giant Pepsi billboard is absolute comedic way to go out with. Seriously the actress hates this movie, even she's not a huge fan of Marvel films. They even forced her to do this role that she wasn't interested in doing. She even fired her agent after this movie flopped.
I was literally thinking about Meryll Streep for this role while watching this video. Madame web is a seasoned woman to which the marvel superheroes go (like still alive Elvis said). They could have gone Christopher Nolan Batman level with this. But no they just chose again for a very cheap cash grab. Kind of what’s the world we live in is about right now. I hate it and I’m ashamed 😔
Also why do these fireworks seem to have the destructive force of a missile? I've no doubt getting hit with a firework is bad for a person, but blowing up a helicopter? Blasting down a metal sign? Shooting holes through a sheet metal roof? Dakota gets decked in the face with one but her face isn't _exploded_ like it should be
I just madame webbed all over my screen
Erm what the Peter Parker?
how do i shot web?
CIA Agent: "What are you doing? How are you poisoning me" 😂
Spiders are so dang cool man. I wish I could get bit by a spider. My cousin got bit by a spider and gained the power of his bite mark eating away his flesh for a few weeks. Pretty magical
The best part about the fireworks scene is that they don't explode, they just fall apart or disappear.
Elvis you didn't have to torture yourself for our entertainment
Yes he did
It’s his sworn duty
wait by 2003 im pretty sure fireworks were banned from most big cities. i thought they were going with "this is the past, when people made fireworks that were as strong as grenades and kept them stacked up in unsealed crates in warehouses"
Sony really is grasping at straws when it comes to making new Superhero movies now.
Who else can't wait to see Kraven bomb?! 😀
Peefect time for SONY to reboot Fantastic 4.
Whatever could go wrong 😂
@@dagg497but Sony didn’t make the fantastic 4 movies, that was fox
Does Kraven even look bad?
13:47 not to mention that ancient peruvian tribes are well known for speak englisch.
ASTOUNDINGLY BAD TALES...
An alternate magazine in a parallel Fallout Universe.
That should be the irl version of the comic
Read this comment as I’m doing a magazine run hahaha 😂.
200 caps each.
What a surprise, Dakota "Nepotism" Johnson, known from such amazing films as: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed, was a shit lead for a Marvel movie she couldn't give a shit about.
Not a single person responsible for this mess gave a shit about it, let's be real here.
And I dunno why, but it's really funny how you called Johnson the "Nepotism" while the Morbius writers were literally sitting right there 🤣
It keeps baffling me about how Sony keeps making worse Spider-Man adjacent movies.
They keep making terrible Spiderman movies too, when it wasn't Sam raimi passion project or actually produced by marvel.
Amazing Spiderman 1 and 2 were absolute garbage even for Sony.
I can't vouch for the truthfulness of the following theory I heard, but it makes sense...kinda:
Sony's rights to the Spiderman property require that the company actively makes use of it within a prearranged window of time.
If Sony fails to deliver, the film rights either defer to some specific company, or (perhaps) all other movie studios get the opportunity to bid for it.
Sorry, it's hard to explain.
@@drewgoin8849Yeah, they have to make a movie in every 5 years to keep the rights. They had quite a rush with TASM and it shows. Also, they have to make an origin story if it's not a sequel. It's in their contract. Tom Holland version was an exception because it's set in MCU.
@@drewgoin8849 It would make sense. The very first Fantastic Four movie and Fant4stic were made to keep the rights.
At 24:45 it may sound bad but honestly a little tweaking and a different delivery and it could work.
Like a parallel to “with great power comes great responsibility” and instead using a theme of “with great power comes absolute control” and bam you’re starting to cook
The villain was shockingly, SHOCKINGLY bad in this movie.
It's a Marvel movie
@@mr.blonde5344 Even by the standarts of that it felt bad
I’ve seen too many great villains
About time I get to see a bad one
Getting cast as a marvel superhero is basically the endgame for actors with almost a guarantee of then getting more work as the role that happens to pays a ton and be excellent exposure/family friendly. So much so that roles for certain heros/villains are used as a bartering tool now with actors, thats how people who know nothing about marvel end up as marvel characters they "earned it" in another way. 🙃
There’s something so unbelievably funny about meme queen Dakota Johnson being in a superhero movie that I ended up weirdly loving it. It was horrendous but I couldn’t keep my eyes off the screen.
No. She’s a spoiled nepotism baby. She can’t act for shit. She would’ve never been cast in a single film if she wasn’t the daughter of an A list actress.
Fun Fact: Madam Web in the 90's Spiderman cartoon was voiced by Joan Lee Stan Lee's wife
Once again, I am reminded we are THIS closer to YMS’ Madame Web review. It’s either going to be here within a week or in a year but we ARE closer.
Um...I got some news for you.
I heard someone say Ezekial's suit looks like a Boys parody of SpiderMan
yes bro, this is spot on
There was a series called Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, and it was a great show. However they came out with a full length movie and the pacing was really off, so I think its difficult to transition from one to the other.
I agree with Dakota Johnson about movies like this being made by committees. Madame Webb, Mrobius, basically all of the DCEU. There's no real effort at making genuinely good movies, it's all just jumping on the bandwagon that the MCU was driving. Granted, the MCU is kind of suffering right now... But for a long while there, they had something beautiful and it happened because they were actually trying to make good movies. These other studios are just churning out all this crap in an attempt to replicate that success.
8:15 spiderman and the goblet of man
I have deceased
Gotta love when the star of a shitty movie has both the balls, and the self awareness to admit it sucks.
Hey, I like Toast
I'm referring to the slightly scorched bread that comes out of a device made specifically for that purpose...Not the movie "Toast". I've not seen it, don't imagine I will.
This is arguably the Worst Sony Spider-Man Movie Ever Made that it shouldn’t Exist.
Making a Madame Web movie without Spider-Man would be like making a movie about Lucius Fox without Batman.
Some exec at Netflix: " write that down!!"
When Cassandra yelled "Stay away from Ma-damn family or I'll surf the Web!" I webbed my pants. I had a similar reaction to Ben saying "Take your ass and Park 'er right there!" and Ezekiel saying "I'm evil!"
the writers were trying to bank off the Marvel name (and other social trends) instead of actually putting forth effort
Imagine her always being blind since birth because of the spider venom. But her powers only starts awakening once the spiderdude starts his killing spree.
OR
As her power progresses throughout the film, she slowly loses her vision.
Hi Elvis, I remember when I used to watch those videos about cringy fan art, still love your videos
What i hated most about this movie is that they showed clips from a move we DIDNT SEE
dying to a falling pepsi rocks is crazy😭😭😭😭
In a few months this movie will be in a 5 dollar Walmart bin 3 pack along with Elektra and Catwoman, I'll bet on it
"They really love to spin the camera in this movie..." Oh really, "spin," like a spider? 😂
35:18 eyyy! You included the Afrobeats Spider-man song 😂😂😂😂😂 💃
😂💀
Never has a Marvel movie felt more like a DC movie.
Lol
You didn't watch a good DC movie then.
it's not a Marvel movie tho.. it's a Sony movie..
Whats that ? Mos bvs jl ? All are mid . Flash or ww 84 or aquaman 2 or birdsof prey or suicide squad? All sre dogshit @@schizzo8959
“Hi! I’m Dakota Johnson! I got into movies because of nepotism. Why give a shit?”
Bro wake up, Elvis posted 3 videos in the span of 2 weeks. He’s cookin.
I'm surprised that you haven't noticed the obvious mistake in the movie that was; the girls recoganizing Ezekiel from the photo that is brought back by Cassey from her apartment. They have only seen Ezekiel as the "Spider person" wearing a mask. They asked Cassey that how she knew him.
Who in the right mind would wrote this logically devoid story?
I love how Ezekiel tried to kill 3 random girls when the literal totem of Spider people was being born down the street 💀
Also the reason the timeline doesn’t make sense is because originally the movie was going to bring in Andrew Garfield’s Spidey and then wanted to do Toms Spidey instead and then decided to not do it at all… neither of their characters would’ve been born in 2003 :)
Andrews peter would have been born though
@@base21 He would’ve been born… but he wouldn’t have been born in 2003- TASM takes place in 2013, so if he was born in 03 then he would’ve been 10 which wouldn’t work as he’s 16 in the film… so that means he would’ve been born in the late 90s
Same with Tom. He said he was 15 in homecoming and that took place 2016 so he would’ve been born in 2001, so he can’t be this universes Spidey either
All I know about madam web is for the 90’s Spider-Man cartoon and the second it was announced I was like “This is a mistake”
For most of my life, I’ve had a really weird fetish for spiders. That fetish no longer exists after watching this film.
pause
I meaaan, if we're talking hot spider women... 🤔
Sorry??
@@AluminumFusion22 Widowmaker 🕷️
You should watch Monster Masume, it’s got an attractive spider lady
I'm pretty sure there is a Madame Web comic book I found at the library when i was a kid that was supposed to be her origin story and her parents were scientist working on that fancy red spider in a lab trying to use it to save their daughter. There were a lot of other details and that is just a minor change but I feel like doing that would have gave the movie more heart.
The fact shes blammkng the writer and director when she didnt even try blows my mind
I know Madame Web from the 90s cartoon. She's basically an oracle for Spidey, telling him when he fucks up
Director: spinning camera angles will revolutionize movie making!
If being hit by numerous cars does nothing to him, a little fall and a sign won't do squat.
Looks like we have our 2024 version of Velma.
@InevitableOption-ic2vx Wednesday wasn’t a good day
Too bad we have Velma season 2 for this year.