Feel Like You're Never Good Enough?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ม.ค. 2025
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Do you ever feel like you're never good enough? You're not alone-97% of people in a recent poll admitted they sometimes, often, or always feel this way. While it's a common struggle, it doesn't have to be your reality, and changing this mindset isn't as hard as you might think.
In this video, we'll explore what "good enough" really means and how you might be setting unrealistic standards for yourself. We'll delve into how comparing yourself to others, chasing perfection, and waiting for external validation can keep you stuck in a cycle of self-doubt. Instead, we'll discuss practical steps to help you start building a strong foundation of self-worth-think of it like constructing a house, one brick at a time.
Join me as we uncover how to shift your perspective, embrace your own journey, and find the courage to be imperfect. It's time to stop letting these feelings hold you back and start recognizing your inherent value. Remember, being "good enough" is a decision you can make today.
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ABOUT JULIA:
Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.
Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.
Julia’s expertise has been featured in Inc magazine, Psych Central, Mind Body Green and numerous other publications, podcasts and television outlets. She has also given talks in front of audiences of hundreds on stages across North America. Videos on her TH-cam channel have been watched more than 15 million times and she has built a community of over 375,000 people across social media platforms. When she’s not helping her clients and students increase their emotional intelligence and mental strength, she’s out on some kind of adventure with her three children in Vancouver, Canada.
Former gold shifter here. I became single at age 40 and stayed that way for 20 years. An old friend reached out to me after she became single. We dated (long distance) for six months before falling apart. I joined the shift society and through that realized I was a people pleaser. Working through the courses helped me change that behavior and realized that I'm good enough for me.I'm content and happy with myself and my life. I tried dating a couple of other women (no intimacy) but it seemed I was not good enough for them. I canceled all of my social media accounts and just stopped dating altogether. At 66 I'm satisfied with my life alone. I do miss having someone to share my life with but I'm only occasionally lonely but I refuse to trade my peace for the inevitable drama that comes with trying to have a relationship.
I struggle deeply with this, mainly because of perfectionism. However, I have been reminding myself that good enough is not something I get, acquire, achieve, accomplish, look like or be like. It is about what I think about myself and what I did. It is good to know even if you did something that is perfect, someone else may think otherwise so perfection is based on opinion, not facts. Perfectionism still comes up, but after learning the tools to manage perfectionism, I am able to accept where I am at and take on trying something new.
I am similar stage of recovering.
My thoughts and notes on Julia’s TH-cam video (10/25/24):
Feel Like You’re Never Good Enough?
One thing that I want to work at is my belief in my ability to travel the world, and specifically to make it to Canada someday so that I could make it to a Big Shift Live event. I don’t have to have it all figured out right now, I just need to take one step at a time, like one brick at a time. It is okay that I never traveled alone before or flown in an airplane before or rode in a train before. That is part of the learning experience. Yes, there are other things that it takes. It takes money, time off, organizational skills, passport...etc...
It is understandable that I would want to learn this because I never had the opportunity before or reason to travel. Yes, earlier this year, I wanted to try and put myself out there and make a first step towards to see if it was at all possible to go to Canada this year, but life can also throw us a curveball and my dad’s health took a turn for the worse and I needed to be there for him and for my family. I lost his him this year and I needed to be around for my mother and to take care of things around here. That’s okay. I wanted to be here.
So, letting go of my imperfection, sharing this here, and say, yes, I don’t know how to travel or have the expense to travel someday, but it is in my awareness and when that moment comes, I can try and take that first step again.
Here are my notes:
Feel Like You're Never Good Enough?
*What are the criteria to feel good enough? Do you even know what it takes to be good enough?
*Feeling good enough isn't define but unachievable or undefine goals.
*Feeling good enough is like laying one brick at a time to build a beautiful brick house.
*Ask questions "What does it mean to be good enough and what does it take?"
*You can decide to feel good enough.
*We are worthy because we were born and that is the only criteria required.
What prevents us from feeling good enough?
*Comparison
*Marketing & advertisements
*Social Media
*Parents Expectations
*Perfectionism.
What can we do?
*Audit your social media consumption.
*What are you consuming?
*How much are you consuming it.
*How do you feel when you go away from consuming it?
*Take stock at where you are instead of looking at where you are not.
*Having things or being at a certain place doesn't make you feel good enough. Good enough isn't a destination. Not "When then…I'll feel good enough."
*Look back at how far you have come.
*Who you are from the inside and showing up on the outside.
*Where you are and who you are now.
*Keep your eyes on your own journey. Don't diminish your own journey by comparing yourself to others journey.
*Invest yourself into the things you value, and you love.
*Catch those comparison thoughts and bring them back to your values.
*You don't have to be perfect.
*You don't have to be a perfect adult, athlete, student, worker parent…etc…
*Just start and don't worry about being good at something at first. You start as a beginner. You put the effort in, and you learn and grow.
*Not going for perfect, we are going for good enough.
*Let yourself fail then get back up and try again.
*Just show up and try.
*You can be imperfect, make mistakes and fail.
*Failing doesn't make me a failure.
*Letting good enough be good enough.
*Don't focus only on the outcome.
*It is not about the destination; it is about the journey.
*Good enough is not a destination, it is a decision in this moment.
Inspirational Quote:
" The most important courage that we can get, is the courage to be imperfect." - Alfred Adler.
The Yoga Class example is very relevant. It is not a competition. Each student is there to improve him/herself.
Yessss! If only we approached more of life like that.
I have been feeling this way at my workplace for a few weeks now. I am so glad you posted this video. Thank you, Julia!
You are so welcome. What was one of your takeaways from this talk?
I want to be as Wise as You !!!
You can be, you just have to study psychology incessantly for 15 years. lol.
Thank you, Julia! I feel like I need to listen to this on repeat. I truly appreciate you sharing your wisdom and encouragement. 💕🙏
I'm really glad this one connected Cheryl. And thank you for your generous words.
I feel like I understand this topic so much better!
I'm so glad to hear it. Thanks for watching.
Good enough equals acceptance by others (external validation). The problem is that you can't control how others think or feel. I suggest internal validation (self esteem?). Don't settle. Break the cycle. Rebel (individuate). We got this. Let's go! 😉
I have a history of feeling like I'm not enough and it came from others who didn't think I was. They didn't phrase it that way but the message got received. Here's something I learned from people like this: You can return the favor. You don't owe it to them to treat them like they're enough either. You also don't need to keep them in your life.
Thank you Julia, I appreciate your channel. I found out recently and I don't usually write comments but your videos has helped me a lot, you are an excellent speaker!
Thanks for this wonderful inspiration JKC.
You hit on something extremely important in a person's psyche, which I work a lot with and which I will never finish.
It is NOT perfection that counts, but progress that does!
Your story about your daughter is quite apt!
My daughter's concern about being good enough was that when she
was to start school, that she could not read or write,
but this was exactly what she had to start learning but something
she saw it as something she HAD to live up to :)
Today she surpasses me in everything, with her studies at the university.
Your challenge in this Canyon is only a sign of your courage and dare as a challenge for development!.
Well done!
I just want to say how much I appreciate all you do for so many of us. I have been a listener for about 3 years and have learned a wealth of knowledge. I am from the USA and this is my hug to you and sincere thanks. You will never know on this side of eternity all you have reached and I hope many of us can meet you some day in our heavenly home. Many blessings to you as your knowledge and investment in others has had great impacts ❤
I have avoided taking responsibilities in my family
I've avoided getting a job, avoided playing the piano in my group, I've avoided having friendships and open to people..... because I've felt I won't do them well enough continuously.
Thank you for talking to us for free, some of us don’t have access to free therapy or can afford one. So thank you. I really needed to hear these things! I do want help! That’s why I am here.
excellent video! this is what i needed to hear, thank you
So glad it connected - and your welcome! Thanks for being here and taking the time to comment.
Great explanation for influence and advertising. This video reminds me of a book called, The Gap and the Gain. 😊
Thank you for the great video , Julia!
You're so welcome Marek. Thanks for watching.
Thank you Julia ! Appreciate you heaps ! Big thank you all the way from Papua New Guinea! This was so helpful !
You are an inspiration to many. Thanks..this is very helpful😊
yes, parents... thanks a bunch...
Yeah - this can be. a hard one to heal from and work though. You've got this!
Thank you for this, Julia! ♥️ I need to say, your beauty always surprises me, but this shirt somehow made you more beautiful! 🤭♥️♥️♥️ hahaha love the video! It really got me, this one!
U talk about things that so many people haven't been allowed to .A man who goes without a woman is a cursed man. Take my word for it.
Same
Can you say more about that? I'm not quite following.
What do you mean by that? A man who does not have a women is a "flawed" man?
@@juliakristinamah what I think he was trying to say is there must be something not right about single men
It's how I interpreted it
"Being bad at something is the first step of becoming kind of good at something."
-Jake the Dog
I am afraid to start a new personal relationship. And not being good enough. 😢
I don’t try anything new that people see me do. Because I’m terrified of being made fun of.
Becca, have you been made fun of often?
Can you make a video about emotional pain due to being left/break up? I struggle a lot with it and wish there was a way to alleviate the pain. My self esteem is shattered because he wanted sb else
I never feel good enough
Pamela Watkins hello society
Hi Pamela! Welcome here.
Dating again at age 46....also salsa dancing
Awesome! How does it feel?
I'm Mark
Any Rabbi isn't John Calvin, ma'am. FYI ;)) That's the first thing I wanted to convey now. :)
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Oh my gosh - thank you!