I’m separating with my husband because he refuses to acknowledge he’s got a porn, addiction and weed addiction. After 20 years of being married I discovered that he has a porn addiction all on my own investigation. He is loosing his family.
I think the porn isn't the issue here, but his stubbornness. But understand that he's too ashamed. Leaving is not the answer. For better for worse, right? Help him understand that you won't shame him
@puttervids472 women are government coddled idiots. They get paid to divorce a man. They think that they will find a man assp to pay their bills and support their children. Jokes on them.
I cant even listen to this bs. The lying and denial and constant feeling of betrayal. And you say to forgive? Be understanding? There was no understanding for how betrayed and broken/unworthy i felt. The information is out there, its their responsibility.
I'm going through this today 😢 I feel betrayed and confused. He says he is going to quit and I can't forgive him or trust him again. Long term marriage 💔
Well, how about looking at yourself? Are you being a good wife or an entitled brat? Are selflessly giving love, or are you constantly demanding it? Are you kind and understanding and in your feminine, or are you acting like a man? Check yourself.
I am very against porn and have no comprehension of why men like it. I think real women are way more attractive. I spent all of my teen years away at boys boarding schools. l am now 62 and still never really had girlfriends and at this point in my life could never relate to women. Yes of course, I will admit that I do jerk or jack off because it actually does feel completely out of this world although I often feel as though I should confide in a therapist about it.
Give me a break. That's like saying if he drinks 1 sip of beer he'll turn into a drunken serial killer robbing banks daily. Masturbation is normal and porn is there, you are brewing a storm in a tea cup. If its not a problem affecting anything dont sweat it, snap out of it, drinking a beer once in a while does not make one an alcoholic. Sheesh
As a man I can honestly say women don't have a clue about the problem pornography is for men. 1st of all you ladies mostly don't see a need for sex and don't understand how difficult it can be for healthy men that have a strong libido. My current wife see's nothing wrong with not having sex for weeks on end especially now during menopause. Not sure why I commented here, men understand the struggle men have. It's easy for a woman to say men should go without sex for weeks months and years like we can and then complain when he's seeking a remedy. Men are visually stimulated which is another thing women don't get so to speak. What's the use, frustrating topic.
So true is impossible to go without sex for weeks, months, even a year (if pregnant) is super hard I mean we married so we can have sex, plus having to deal with hormones (of the wife) and no sex is not life and woman will never understand this and if you add that your wife or girlfriend dont even take care of her is a killer but is the man problem we are the bad ones
Sorry dr trish my message seemed rude after I re read it but I just don’t know why he would gone back to it after all them years part of me thinks his always lusted but he said he hasn’t and on the other side we were happy for all them years and I only found out as he changed he was distant wasn’t interested so maybe he is telling the truth but doesn’t know why he did it again
Dr TRish Leigh how would you describe what happened I feel his never really stopped in the 19years but he promise he did for years so would this of been a relapse I just feel not good enough for him it’s broke me but I love him and take my hat off to him his been so honest and I can see change in him but I just don’t get why he would go back after all them years
If he is doing ALLOT U mean a lot like every number times a day there maybe an issue. One can be a sign of depresstion/mental heath. Men are expect mostly to 'be the strong ones'. If men says I've 'mental heath problem' (I've ASD) I find most women don't want to date you. If it is depresstion he may feel ashamed to admit it to you for like the reasons above. The other (with respect) maybe you. You don't have as much interest as sex you do. How there should be no shame in this. (As said for the season in the reasons above). However if their women gaslight him in shame and/or you had a conservative up bring then a person then the men partner has a a negative reaction to unless the most basic sexual interaction. Because of this a lot of men will NEVER tell you his true sexual needs. As he feel women have shamed his all his life. Example I've got a vice and need for sexual play wrestling women. However I've learn to except it is who I am. I'm luckily to have a female friend happy to spar with me. If you think this statement of what I do disgus you...then there is answer..of you have a low tolerance of sexuality. I know for a fact with my fetish, men are often made to feel ashamed they end with escort that will wrestle without their partner know, then just try to talk over their needs. It seems another issue is men'n'women relationships..men feel it is all about what the women need (ie HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE). This is to the point they prefer not to clash with men's need over their partners. It is all kind of sad.
I caught my wife playing with one of those toy things in her butt and I don't know what is up because she is not that type of lady that would do a thing like this and I think she might have a boyfriend. everything was good until about 2 months after we got married then she just started changing and doing this crazy stuff.this butt stuff is starting to get crazy.
I just tell women early in relationship I use porn but won’t affect relationship with you . Sometime women admit they like it to and then you watch together
This is nutty! (no pun intended 🤣) First, can someone be addicted to porn? YES! Both men and women can be, although it does seem to be more of a male issue, which makes sense given the hormones involved. That said, just because a guy is watching porn doesn't make it an addiction, even if it's quite frequent. Guys have a need. They also feel loyal to their partner and do not want to cheat on them with another woman. Men are also very much visual, tangible creatures whereas women have more creativity and imagination, as a rule. Obviously there are exceptions to that rule. So, porn is a way by which a man can get what he needs without betraying the trust his partner has in him. That said, there are varying levels of porn that should be considered. If it's classic porn scenes and movies, those are fine. Where it gets a little more questionable is when they subscribe to a live cam site or even some OF sites. Those can be innocent as well, but if they're going private with those folks or buying them outfits or toys, it begins to be more like another relationship and I can certainly understand the thoughts of it being similar to, or just outright, cheating. Ladies, if you walk in on your man masturbating, do not make him feel shame. Talk to him about it, without judgement. If he's given a safe space to express why he's watching the porn, he is more likely to be fully open about it, and will very likely lead to more understanding on your end. It could also lead to a more enjoyable sexual experience for you as you will now know what he likes more which can lead to your own discovery of things you like that you didn't know before. That said, be just as open and honest with him and demand the same level of non-judgement that you gave to him when you explain your feeling about it. All of this will lead to a much stronger relationship between you both. Finally, stop listening to people like this on the internet that claim all porn is bad and an addiction. This doesn't help anyone.
Right. And also remember the stats on sexless marriages. Or not enough sex. Most are usually because of the woman. Stats. Not made up. Prove the above.
Well said on all points. Sometimes or maybe often your needs are not being met and you need the release. The woman may be the problem. Not one mentioning of the work she needs to do also. Zero accountability for the woman in the relationship. Go figure. Ridiculous
Women - you have a simple job - take care of us and the house and the kids. That's it. You don't need to worry about the rest of it. Just do your job and stay out of our private areas.
Do you know anything about sin and consequences. Do you want to go to Heaven or Hell? God forgives all who come to Him for Help. He can rescue and forgive and be your Strength and Provide that love you need.
@@hollikrebs darlin' - I was being sarcastic in my post to draw attention to women's rights. However, I do believe if someone wants to watch porn, there is nothing wrong with it and nobody's business.
@@SpidersHandle thank you but the degradation of men and women and family is God’s business. God is Love and there is no lust in Heaven. God loves us forever and He is faithful. Lust is just another sin of the many sins that are not like Him. He is pure and Holy and only Good. We have a sinful nature but He made a way for us to become Clean before Him. That way is Jesus the Son of God who came to Save us from our sins and He took our punishment for sin and paid for our Salvation. Receive Jesus the Savior Your Forgiveness and become cleansed by the blood of Jesus and you will go to Heaven to be with God forever. Read John 3:16,17,&18
@@hollikrebsmasturbation isnt sin. We’re made how we’re made. I believe in God in the literal sense. If we weren’t meant to drop seed regularly, we wouldn’t produce it. The alternative is many sexual partners.
If she found him doing that she obviously not holding up her end of the deal!!!! Tired of ya women trying to coddle these women for the bs they put men through just tell him not tonight for 8 weeks straight. Cheat on her 😂keep it simple
I’m separating with my husband because he refuses to acknowledge he’s got a porn, addiction and weed addiction. After 20 years of being married I discovered that he has a porn addiction all on my own investigation. He is loosing his family.
I'm kinda addicted to it as well, but my wife is like 🤷 whatevs. We have a great marriage.
@@kbanghartask your wife
I think the porn isn't the issue here, but his stubbornness. But understand that he's too ashamed. Leaving is not the answer. For better for worse, right?
Help him understand that you won't shame him
Why is this all his fault ? Why aren’t you his outlet ?
@puttervids472 women are government coddled idiots. They get paid to divorce a man. They think that they will find a man assp to pay their bills and support their children. Jokes on them.
I cant even listen to this bs. The lying and denial and constant feeling of betrayal. And you say to forgive? Be understanding?
There was no understanding for how betrayed and broken/unworthy i felt.
The information is out there, its their responsibility.
Agree. They make us feel like garbage, but we're supposed to be understanding on top of it.
Your comment proves you know nothing about addiction
I'm going through this today 😢
I feel betrayed and confused. He says he is going to quit and I can't forgive him or trust him again.
Long term marriage 💔
Don't be sad give him more sex, that's it
😢
I'm also..
I’m sorry 😢
Well, how about looking at yourself? Are you being a good wife or an entitled brat? Are selflessly giving love, or are you constantly demanding it? Are you kind and understanding and in your feminine, or are you acting like a man? Check yourself.
Eh...I think it is his fault. He made a choice.
My husband claims he doesn't "remember" seeing porn as a kid. Is that even possible or does he just not want to admit it?
I am very against porn and have no comprehension of why men like it. I think real women are way more attractive. I spent all of my teen years away at boys boarding schools. l am now 62 and still never really had girlfriends and at this point in my life could never relate to women. Yes of course, I will admit that I do jerk or jack off because it actually does feel completely out of this world although I often feel as though I should confide in a therapist about it.
Depends on his age. Porn wasn't so available and intrusive as it is today.
Give me a break. That's like saying if he drinks 1 sip of beer he'll turn into a drunken serial killer robbing banks daily. Masturbation is normal and porn is there, you are brewing a storm in a tea cup. If its not a problem affecting anything dont sweat it, snap out of it, drinking a beer once in a while does not make one an alcoholic. Sheesh
Speak for yourself. Some women don’t want a lecherous heathen for a bed mate. Can’t forsake all others? Go away
I’m going through a separation right now. The reason is is because he’s in total denial it’s been for many years what are you do in that situation?
My gf was a cheater, couldn't stay faithful
I disagree,it is his fault.
No. It's your fault for not being a good partner. 😠
I will save this video for when i meet the one.
As a man I can honestly say women don't have a clue about the problem pornography is for men. 1st of all you ladies mostly don't see a need for sex and don't understand how difficult it can be for healthy men that have a strong libido. My current wife see's nothing wrong with not having sex for weeks on end especially now during menopause. Not sure why I commented here, men understand the struggle men have. It's easy for a woman to say men should go without sex for weeks months and years like we can and then complain when he's seeking a remedy. Men are visually stimulated which is another thing women don't get so to speak. What's the use, frustrating topic.
If women does the same what will u do
thanks for posting brother, i wish more people spoke up about this and made this more aware
Women need to stay in the kitchen with their mouths shut.
So true is impossible to go without sex for weeks, months, even a year (if pregnant) is super hard I mean we married so we can have sex, plus having to deal with hormones (of the wife) and no sex is not life and woman will never understand this and if you add that your wife or girlfriend dont even take care of her is a killer but is the man problem we are the bad ones
@@rukmani-li6is Watch with her. Doh.
It's a woman fault for not being a good partner. If you women take good care of your partner then it's not gonna be a problem at all.
So men can’t man up and fix marital problems? Acting like a filthy primate is supposed to help? Gimme a break!!
Hi dr trish
But he chose to go start watching it 15years after not watching it so he chose to do it again😢
I'm sorry. Betrayal trauma is as painful as it gets. I know this.
Sorry dr trish my message seemed rude after I re read it but I just don’t know why he would gone back to it after all them years part of me thinks his always lusted but he said he hasn’t and on the other side we were happy for all them years and I only found out as he changed he was distant wasn’t interested so maybe he is telling the truth but doesn’t know why he did it again
Dr TRish Leigh how would you describe what happened I feel his never really stopped in the 19years but he promise he did for years so would this of been a relapse I just feel not good enough for him it’s broke me but I love him and take my hat off to him his been so honest and I can see change in him but I just don’t get why he would go back after all them years
@@paralleluniverse298 that’s the thing his needs were met mine wasn’t coz he put all his energy into a screen
If he is doing ALLOT U mean a lot like every number times a day there maybe an issue. One can be a sign of depresstion/mental heath. Men are expect mostly to 'be the strong ones'. If men says I've 'mental heath problem' (I've ASD) I find most women don't want to date you. If it is depresstion he may feel ashamed to admit it to you for like the reasons above. The other (with respect) maybe you. You don't have as much interest as sex you do. How there should be no shame in this. (As said for the season in the reasons above). However if their women gaslight him in shame and/or you had a conservative up bring then a person then the men partner has a a negative reaction to unless the most basic sexual interaction. Because of this a lot of men will NEVER tell you his true sexual needs. As he feel women have shamed his all his life. Example I've got a vice and need for sexual play wrestling women. However I've learn to except it is who I am. I'm luckily to have a female friend happy to spar with me. If you think this statement of what I do disgus you...then there is answer..of you have a low tolerance of sexuality. I know for a fact with my fetish, men are often made to feel ashamed they end with escort that will wrestle without their partner know, then just try to talk over their needs. It seems another issue is men'n'women relationships..men feel it is all about what the women need (ie HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE). This is to the point they prefer not to clash with men's need over their partners. It is all kind of sad.
I caught my wife playing with one of those toy things in her butt and I don't know what is up because she is not that type of lady that would do a thing like this and I think she might have a boyfriend. everything was good until about 2 months after we got married then she just started changing and doing this crazy stuff.this butt stuff is starting to get crazy.
My ex watched porn in front of me if I asked him to stop the told me to get out of the room and shut the door.
Thank you!!!!
I just tell women early in relationship I use porn but won’t affect relationship with you .
Sometime women admit they like it to and then you watch together
This is nutty! (no pun intended 🤣)
First, can someone be addicted to porn? YES! Both men and women can be, although it does seem to be more of a male issue, which makes sense given the hormones involved. That said, just because a guy is watching porn doesn't make it an addiction, even if it's quite frequent. Guys have a need. They also feel loyal to their partner and do not want to cheat on them with another woman. Men are also very much visual, tangible creatures whereas women have more creativity and imagination, as a rule. Obviously there are exceptions to that rule. So, porn is a way by which a man can get what he needs without betraying the trust his partner has in him. That said, there are varying levels of porn that should be considered. If it's classic porn scenes and movies, those are fine. Where it gets a little more questionable is when they subscribe to a live cam site or even some OF sites. Those can be innocent as well, but if they're going private with those folks or buying them outfits or toys, it begins to be more like another relationship and I can certainly understand the thoughts of it being similar to, or just outright, cheating.
Ladies, if you walk in on your man masturbating, do not make him feel shame. Talk to him about it, without judgement. If he's given a safe space to express why he's watching the porn, he is more likely to be fully open about it, and will very likely lead to more understanding on your end. It could also lead to a more enjoyable sexual experience for you as you will now know what he likes more which can lead to your own discovery of things you like that you didn't know before. That said, be just as open and honest with him and demand the same level of non-judgement that you gave to him when you explain your feeling about it. All of this will lead to a much stronger relationship between you both.
Finally, stop listening to people like this on the internet that claim all porn is bad and an addiction. This doesn't help anyone.
Right. And also remember the stats on sexless marriages. Or not enough sex. Most are usually because of the woman. Stats. Not made up. Prove the above.
@@Arlatubemost because the guys are idiots
Well said on all points. Sometimes or maybe often your needs are not being met and you need the release. The woman may be the problem. Not one mentioning of the work she needs to do also. Zero accountability for the woman in the relationship. Go figure. Ridiculous
@@STMARTIN009 sure, it's all womens fault 🤣
OMG - are you fricking kidding me? All this over watching some porn??? Succubi...
Women - you have a simple job - take care of us and the house and the kids. That's it. You don't need to worry about the rest of it. Just do your job and stay out of our private areas.
Do you know anything about sin and consequences. Do you want to go to Heaven or Hell? God forgives all who come to Him for Help. He can rescue and forgive and be your Strength and Provide that love you need.
@@hollikrebs darlin' - I was being sarcastic in my post to draw attention to women's rights. However, I do believe if someone wants to watch porn, there is nothing wrong with it and nobody's business.
@@SpidersHandle thank you but the degradation of men and women and family is God’s business. God is Love and there is no lust in Heaven. God loves us forever and He is faithful. Lust is just another sin of the many sins that are not like Him. He is pure and Holy and only Good. We have a sinful nature but He made a way for us to become Clean before Him. That way is Jesus the Son of God who came to Save us from our sins and He took our punishment for sin and paid for our Salvation. Receive Jesus the Savior Your Forgiveness and become cleansed by the blood of Jesus and you will go to Heaven to be with God forever. Read John 3:16,17,&18
@@hollikrebsmasturbation isnt sin. We’re made how we’re made. I believe in God in the literal sense. If we weren’t meant to drop seed regularly, we wouldn’t produce it. The alternative is many sexual partners.
Entitled much? We are not your slaves.
🎉lady your WAY OFF!...
I bet you sell a 50.00 dollar cure🤣no way this doesn't profit you🍻
If she found him doing that she obviously not holding up her end of the deal!!!! Tired of ya women trying to coddle these women for the bs they put men through just tell him not tonight for 8 weeks straight. Cheat on her 😂keep it simple