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I disagree,it is his fault.

What a load of BS!! First of all it is NOBODYS business what he does in the privacy of his home. Not even his wife. Masturbation for men is a psychological and physical release of testosterone produced desires that this women and most women don't understand and never will. This has to do with biology and thousands and thousands of years of male desire to have sex and if he can't get it from his wife he has to resort to masturbation. Women quit whining it is natural.

If she found him doing that she obviously not holding up her end of the deal!!!! Tired of ya women trying to coddle these women for the bs they put men through just tell him not tonight for 8 weeks straight. Cheat on her 😂keep it simple

I will save this video for when i meet the one.

I feel like this video is an infomercial. She is saying, "You have a problem and I can fix it for a fee." She adds in gobbledegook that makes it sound all scientific, but I'm not convinced. I want to see peer review articles. I want to see the double blind studies. I want to see the science behind this approach.

I cant even listen to this bs. The lying and denial and constant feeling of betrayal. And you say to forgive? Be understanding? There was no understanding for how betrayed and broken/unworthy i felt. The information is out there, its their responsibility.

Eh...I think it is his fault. He made a choice.

This is a ridiculous video made to make men feel guilty and women to feel like there is something wrong with their man. News Flash! Men like looking at naked women! This has been true since the first man opened his eyes. Men are curious about women's bodies and crave variety. Soft porn can actually improve a man's libido. Hard or violent porn is unhealthy. Too much porn can deaden it. The right thing to do is communicate with your partner. Ask him or her if there is something he/she would like you to do that you are not doing? Obviously, there are limits to this. Your man is watching porn because he's bored with his sex life. You can fix this if you try.

I don’t give a f* what any of you disgusting, immature men say. ITS CHEATING! You are watching another woman - YOU ARE CHEATING! Grow up and control yourselves. Stop justifying it. “Men are visual” “men’s hormones are different” ITS CHEATING. If you watch it stay single. It’s disgusting behaviour and it’s FAKE anyway. Grow up and build a bond and a strong connection with your partner, make your relationship work. A relationship is between 2 people. If you feel the need to even LOOK at another woman/man YOU ARE CHEATING! Grow tf up!

My ex watched porn in front of me if I asked him to stop the told me to get out of the room and shut the door.

Give me a break. That's like saying if he drinks 1 sip of beer he'll turn into a drunken serial killer robbing banks daily. Masturbation is normal and porn is there, you are brewing a storm in a tea cup. If its not a problem affecting anything dont sweat it, snap out of it, drinking a beer once in a while does not make one an alcoholic. Sheesh

Wait wait watching porn together

I’m going through a separation right now. The reason is is because he’s in total denial it’s been for many years what are you do in that situation?

Thank you!!!!

Well I can’t pull my man out. I tried. I can’t compete with his “fantasies”… I tried. It broke me to try so hard to make him happy but it never was enough- he continued as usual. He has twisted the convos over it up so bad and gaslighted me for so long and refuses to take responsibility, refuses to see my point that it’s unhealthy, he’s told me that *I* need counseling and that he has a “normal, healthy pattern” and has nothing to do with me. He yells at me and tells me to “get the f out” every time I bring it up, again telling him it’s destroying me. It was already heartbreaking knowing he needs to have daily orgasms to young, fake looking and acting women who look and act like they’re on meth or cocaine, pretending like they’re enjoying it- they literally look and act like they’re on crack… makes me feel DISGUSTING and I’m hating my body and everything else about me because he is mindset that I am the messed up one and he’s normal…. He literally said (verbatim) “it’s not something I’m willing to give you. I deserve my personal space. So I’m sorry”….. and that was all I needed to hear, after telling him two years ago I wasn’t okay with it. THE END Good luck out there ladies. When the gaslighting continues and the narcissistic mindset that they’re entitled to their precious porn is more important than your relationship, your feelings or the severe depression they’ve caused comes to “it’s not something I’m willing to give you”- RUN! Protect YOUR mental state. YOU DESERVE to be treated fairly, to be loved and nurtured. Your feelings ARE LEGITIMATE. Never let them tell you otherwise….

What about the women who DO NOT change after marriage?! I still want sex daily, multiple times a day if possible!! However… he chooses porn and masterbation! I have asked why? Asked if I’m not for him, tell me and I’ll leave.. but he says it’s not about me. So what is it?!

No, I have suffered enough. I had to learn about his habit 12 years into my marriage. I have been married to him for close to 22 years.. been with him for 25 years. I also learned he has been doing porn/masturbating for 40 years. He is 54 years old. I took him to get help when I learned and I now realize how bad it is. Currently I am going through a divorce so his family will have to help him here on out. It’s sad cause he not doing nothing to help himself even when I talked to him and told him I am seeking a divorce. He kept saying he doesn’t want a divorce but not reaching out for the help.

I get nothing but hostility when approaching my husband.

Omg I need a coach so bad.

I’m separating with my husband because he refuses to acknowledge he’s got a porn, addiction and weed addiction. After 20 years of being married I discovered that he has a porn addiction all on my own investigation. He is loosing his family.

Yep, its too much for me. I have to leave for my own sanity and survival. Someone else or he himself can pull him out. If he can prove he has been porn and masterbation free for at least a year, maybe we can get remarried then. Right now he is still protecting the compartment by denial and gaslighting. Its been 10 days, and he is still lying. This goes way too deep.

A true Dr. Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

Another note…why is your husband masterbating? Because you don’t do what you did to seal the deal in the first place.

WHY is it all about where we as men come up short? Let’s not talk about why women change once they are married. Weird how there is a “stereotype” (an actuality) that women do everything to bring us in but the second we tie the knot, everything (sexually) is non-existent. How about we talk about that?!

He can move out of our room. Our closest are already separated, we even do separate laundry. We do not wash our clothing together. Probably so he can get rid of the indiscretions before i get home. I sleep better by myself.

My ex never proceed and hid his porn addiction, he would start watching porn if I came into the room he said if you don’t like it get out of the room and shut the door.

Too much information .... bottom line is wife don't wanna give sex leave husband no choice to masturbate and watch porn

He had a classic in the garage rusting away because he wasn't treating it right. So now it all rusted up and the engine is clogged becaues he put gasoline and a diesel engine.

I use to really like your videos but this was a disappointment. You say its not their fault? Are you kidding me? Of course it makes them feel good because they are masturbating. They choose to do it. Id like to have orgasms whenever Id like to but because Im a decent person and married I save that for my husband. Too bad he didnt feel the same. Pornography is filthy and kills love, and if they choose to do it I think it is their fault. Of course you're the therapist but I was the neglected wife so he could please himself. Nothing hurts worse and then to hear a professional say "its not their fault" makes me sick to my stomach.

The vintage car example is not great some of spouses and girlfriends are young and even better looking than the online girls .

This not true. They don’t “show up for you” They choose porn. Only a small portion of them actually recover. What they do is learn to deceive better. If you are with an addict, you are in for years of hell only to leave in the end broken.

4 years of him having ALL the resources continuing to use and lie, reject me and degrade me, causing himself to stay impotent, etc… yeah I’m done. He can be a creepy dirty old man by himself. 4 years wasted.

I love this !

Point those fingers at yourself. If he was getting what he needed from you, he wouldn't give porn a 2nd thought.

EVERY MAN IN THE WORLD MASTURBATES, EVEN PRIESTS

Men enjoy sex. Big surprise. And when we're then married to women who can easily go for long periods of time without sex and it's not important to them, why are you shocked when he looks at something sexually stimulating and he takes care of the problem himself? Unless he's doing it multiple times per day and it interferes with other parts of his life, he's not addicted to it, it's just something he enjoys. If you're telling us we're not going to have food in the house and you want us to go for weeks without food, guess what, he's stopping at McDonalds. While women have no problem telling a man "no more sex", they wouldn't accept the man telling her "no more romance and emotional love". At the very least, he's not having an affair.

Wooooowwwww..... Never in my life have i ever heard such a bunch of bologna. 🤦🏽‍♂️ Your dude is beating off, congratulations. Youve been offered a gift he was too shy to tell you in the first place because he doesnt want to tell you your sexual urgings, innuendos, and frequency are inadequate. No woman wants to hear they're not taking care of their man. Well???? He just told you, now fix yourself. This is EXACTLY what happened in my marriage 8 yrs ago. I told her the same thing I said above and she put in the work. Now, the only time I watch porn is with her at her suggestion and this husband is well-sexxed. You're right with no1, doc. Its not his fault but it is his responsibility to speak up.

🎉lady your WAY OFF!...

I just tell women early in relationship I use porn but won’t affect relationship with you . Sometime women admit they like it to and then you watch together

Women - you have a simple job - take care of us and the house and the kids. That's it. You don't need to worry about the rest of it. Just do your job and stay out of our private areas.

OMG - are you fricking kidding me? All this over watching some porn??? Succubi...

Will the show also be available as an audio podcast, like PBR? Thanks for everything Trish

Here is my problem with this. I completely understand the concept of the three 'Cs' but what if your husband cant' or won't open up and disclose everything. We're working through this "Porn Reboot" and it is the most difficult thing I've ever experienced. I believe the only way I'll ever begin to trust him again is if he (proactively--not me saying okay, it's time to talk) comes to me to disclose everything. We are six weeks post the event where I found out. He's trying hard, but the one thing he is reluctant to do is disclose details. It feels like he's still lying and keeping secrets. We are approaching our 39th anniversary. This has been going on for 30+ of those years. I'm heartbroken and devastated.

Why not advise women to help themselves and leave these toxic relationships instead of telling women to stay and "save" these men.

Such an important subject today, so needed!

Very helpful. Thanks Dr Trisglh

You always talk about men. How about the girls who are addicts. I had to break up with 2 pervert bisexuality addict women in the last 10 year's. You also sound bitter towards men

If he is doing ALLOT U mean a lot like every number times a day there maybe an issue. One can be a sign of depresstion/mental heath. Men are expect mostly to 'be the strong ones'. If men says I've 'mental heath problem' (I've ASD) I find most women don't want to date you. If it is depresstion he may feel ashamed to admit it to you for like the reasons above. The other (with respect) maybe you. You don't have as much interest as sex you do. How there should be no shame in this. (As said for the season in the reasons above). However if their women gaslight him in shame and/or you had a conservative up bring then a person then the men partner has a a negative reaction to unless the most basic sexual interaction. Because of this a lot of men will NEVER tell you his true sexual needs. As he feel women have shamed his all his life. Example I've got a vice and need for sexual play wrestling women. However I've learn to except it is who I am. I'm luckily to have a female friend happy to spar with me. If you think this statement of what I do disgus you...then there is answer..of you have a low tolerance of sexuality. I know for a fact with my fetish, men are often made to feel ashamed they end with escort that will wrestle without their partner know, then just try to talk over their needs. It seems another issue is men'n'women relationships..men feel it is all about what the women need (ie HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE). This is to the point they prefer not to clash with men's need over their partners. It is all kind of sad.

This is nutty! (no pun intended 🤣) First, can someone be addicted to porn? YES! Both men and women can be, although it does seem to be more of a male issue, which makes sense given the hormones involved. That said, just because a guy is watching porn doesn't make it an addiction, even if it's quite frequent. Guys have a need. They also feel loyal to their partner and do not want to cheat on them with another woman. Men are also very much visual, tangible creatures whereas women have more creativity and imagination, as a rule. Obviously there are exceptions to that rule. So, porn is a way by which a man can get what he needs without betraying the trust his partner has in him. That said, there are varying levels of porn that should be considered. If it's classic porn scenes and movies, those are fine. Where it gets a little more questionable is when they subscribe to a live cam site or even some OF sites. Those can be innocent as well, but if they're going private with those folks or buying them outfits or toys, it begins to be more like another relationship and I can certainly understand the thoughts of it being similar to, or just outright, cheating. Ladies, if you walk in on your man masturbating, do not make him feel shame. Talk to him about it, without judgement. If he's given a safe space to express why he's watching the porn, he is more likely to be fully open about it, and will very likely lead to more understanding on your end. It could also lead to a more enjoyable sexual experience for you as you will now know what he likes more which can lead to your own discovery of things you like that you didn't know before. That said, be just as open and honest with him and demand the same level of non-judgement that you gave to him when you explain your feeling about it. All of this will lead to a much stronger relationship between you both. Finally, stop listening to people like this on the internet that claim all porn is bad and an addiction. This doesn't help anyone.

I know i can be on my own, ive done it but i wanted an interconnected life with my partner. I am still grieving that loss. Ive had my own room for 7 years. My own interests. When we are together sharing space he is not there mentally or emotionally. Thank you for offering help to us partners. Its not all about them.