@@sara-dx3ix my girlfriend is too jealous and insecure and want be with me all time and she wont me go work without her track me down she wont let my friends hug me I really loves her we lesbain why she doing this ??.
I’ve been dating a man for 6 months and he travels all the time and I was feeling insecure (thinking he’s cheating) and unsuccessful because I can’t do the same. After watching this video (only really understanding it after the second time) I said, ‘No, you’re a CFO who is working hard and he has a freedom that you don’t. It’s his success, not your failing. Be inspired by him, but don’t hurt your relationship because you’re intimidated by a different lifestyle.’ Suddenly I feel silly for being so nasty with myself when I’ve actually been successful in most of what I do. Thank you, Susan. You have a very elegant way of making very poignant statements.
Great comment - especially: “be inspired by him, but don’t hurt your relationship because you’re intimidated by a different lifestyle.” This rings true for what I’m feeling the present moment about a new relationship in the early stages still.
I was in tears, going crazy bcus I'm dealing with my insecurities in my relationship I was very stressed out minutes ago . Thank you for not just bringing me back to my sense but for teaching me something new I can do in my relationship
This is why, in my opinion, we should be in a better relationship with ourselves before you even let someone in to your life. If you don't know yourself and you get feedback from people, you'd automatically feel they're attacking you and you need to defend yourself. if you do this, it means you need some internal learning to do
@@HTHTNT77 Hi, yeah I agree with you too, this was also mentioned by Esther Perel. She's a psychotherapist who also does marriage counseling. Anyway, that first comment was 2 years ago, and I've also changed my view about self-awareness. Not having people around can create a bunker where we don't learn much if we're in one.
I'm 21 and Im in the first relationship I have had in many years. I have always been a very anxious person and I had thought that during these years i managed to come to a stable point with myself. But after entering a relationship all the fears and insecurities came back multiplied. I thought I was going crazy, but this video puts things in a different light. Thank you very much for the perspective
My ex gave me insecurities I never had before him. I didn't buy into them right away but it sipped in after a while. He was quick to see "flaws" that were only flaws to him. I realized he was very judgemental and critical because of his own insecurities. He finally "gave" up on me. I was thankful. I stayed far too long because I have a hard time giving up on others. I'm over that. 😆
they project their insecurities on us. It's up to us to not buy into them.. also know that being single is is a great way to invest in yourself. Figure out why you don't you appreciate your own company?
Sounds like the last guy I dated. He found all these flaws, but he was the severly flawed one. Wasn't worth the hassle and he later revealed himself to not be such a bid deal. He was a jerk!
I was always confident and my partner bit by bit took it away from him making me feel insecure by certain things he said and done ...now I'm working on building myself up ...he said he was sorry and wanted me to feel like crap bevause he did ...he has lied and cheated and wants many chances ...now I'm uncertain and have fear on my mind ..its not healthy and I see it .im just trying to build myself back up from it all....its a crazy thing
I love this!!! Thank you! I just had a conversation yesterday with my bf about how I don't like it when he comments on other women's physical attritubes in front of me. I told him it made me feel uncomfortable and vurnable because I was unaware of how to respond to these comments. He in turn talked about how I can do the same thing when I see other men. I told him I did it because he does it when he sees other women. So we both were acting insecurly around each other. I'm just glad that I voiced it and was able to hear him out as well. I'm looking forward to seeing how we both can change and where our relationship will go moving forward.
I got cheated on a long time ago when I was at my most vulnerable and I wasn’t a bit of insecure. It ruined me and it still carries on to me. On top of that, I also do not get the best support and comments about myself growing up by my own family. Getting told I need to be like this and that for men to like. I’m a very middle grounded reasonable person so all of this hasn’t weighed down my personality but more or so my insecurities and my thoughts get warped so easily. I finally feel like I’ve met my match now and the issues that I’m struggling with is that the last time I was in this much love was with the guy that cheated on me. and it’s bringing in so many memories and voices in my head that I shouldn’t look forward to this journey and that it’s going to end negatively. This helped me a lot and see what true confidence is. I’m very vocal so I’m going to speak on it and I’m going to take the time to heal. I appreciate your wisdom
Thank you.Two bad relationships with narcissistic women constantly had me questioning my self worth because all the "flaws" they saw in me.It was only years later that I saw I wasnt what they saw and wondered why I even loved someone who treated me so crummy.Self introspection and leaving a bad relationship helps you grow in the end.
You are so lovely and brilliant. I cannot tell you how much your videos have helped me. When I have these moments of insecurity and panic I remember your words. Your helpful advice brings me back to sanity where I can see things clearly and deal with them logically. Thank you. (Gonna purchase your books too!)
@@SusanWinter i am jealous of my lesbain Fiancee"s new friend she is 45 and I am 35 her new friend is 46 she is also gay why Fiancee told me she loves me and only me she never leave me ???.
Wow! I love the way you explain everything your so calming. We are so lucky to be in an age where we have these valuable lessons on tap with the click of a button.
I'm so glad I came across this. I have been insecure for my entire life. People told me that guys were constantly checking me out in high school, but I never saw it because I walked with my head down. I'm now MUCH older and your videos are helping me realize that I was internalizing other people's judgments. I DO like myself. Looks can be improved, but I've always liked being alone.
It's bubble bath time again. Having watched endless advise from you for many months, I have followed your every step of my disconnected 25 year relationship. . Spit, found you, found my partner again. Your advise is than none other. I have been around 63 years , you are so very gifted with kindness and such teaching. Living apart still, tiny steps for me. This is the finest TH-cam for me. Thank you again for showing me my work . Will keep you posted. You are a guardian angel to us all. Blessings to you .
This was fantastic, Susan. I have a lot to think about with how I recognize what’s happening when an insecurity of mine is triggered even when the situation does not warrant it. I have such a hard time with worrying my boyfriend would go for his ex over me or cheat on me with someone else even though he has been extremely supportive and reassuring without me even saying anything. He constantly lets me know how important I am to him, but it is difficult to get rid of anxious thoughts as they come up. It will take some work, but I’m excited for when I am able to take control over how I think and process my insecurity, and hopefully shrink it.
I am very sensitive and sometimes i think i get upset over things other people just go with the flow. Good video going make me think and really look where these feelings are coming from and not to react quickly like i do now.
I just broke down listening to this from the very first sentence. I remember listening to you over a year ago when I searched for a video on how to deal with the pain of being ghosted. Now I am in a relationship with an amazing person but I find myself struggling from time to time with jealousy, which I think comes from my insecurities. :( I just wanted to say thank you for being there for people like us..
Thank you for sharing this wisdom. I was in actual tears and am wondering what you would see me think what I’m thinking… your way of explaining the matter is so much better than most people I’ve talked with.
This really spoke to me - this is such a great way to increase the love for yourself - which helps with every relationship. Being in agreement with who you are is a wonderful place to be. Great energy and strength! I felt inspired after this! Thank you Susan.
Thanks a lot.... I've been worried about my boyfriend's new lifestyle in a big city while I'm living in my small town preparing for my med school enterance exams. I think I might be jealous or insecure about not having such lifestyle and I started blaming my partner that he was so showy and narcissistic for his behaviour. I should improve myself financially and the solution for this problem is to think rationally. Yeah I'm so insecure of not being financially stable to provide me such lifestyle but I could try my level best to improve me. And there's nothing to do with him, the answer is in my mindset. Relationship has brought my deep insecurity to the surface and I'm okay with that. All I need is to work on that 😊
i’m in the exact situation. i don’t smoke or do drugs or anything like that but my boyfriend did in his past and now every time i talk to my friend that currently does that i get so insecure and i’m like “why wouldn’t he want someone like her ?” “i wish i can handle smoking”
I found out my bf was smoking pot after 2yrs in, he said he needed it to stay calm, however he was overly calm , lazy, became stagnant and lost interest in his career, took it out on me and rarely cared to get to know my kids, I was so disappointed, am I over reacting? but my kids are from another relationship that ended because of their fathers drinking, I dont want that around my children... drink, drugs, bad behaviour, I dont want that at all, sometimes I feel like an outsider because so many people do this, but I want to stay strong as a single parent and try improve my life and make a better future for my family... so now I am single and working hard to not attract this lifestyle nd stay single while I work on myself. This video has really helped me, I now can finally say I am sure I am doing the right thing. Susan you are amazing
This is a practical tip that goes beyond just advising self love , it's not only motivation, it is like a compass which directs , it helps with the " how to",thank you so much Susan.
Wonderful video Susan, and oh so true that many of our insecurities come from external forces, like societal expectations and 'norms'. My own demon I'm battling with is an age gap difference between me and my bf. I'm 51 and he's 46. I'm an attractive, health conscious woman with a good job. I tell myself all the time 5 years isn't a big deal, but I'm never totally convinced 🙁. Ironically, if he were 51 and I was 46, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Crazy, right? And difficult to just talk myself out of.
Wow...that is the fuel I have been looking for. Been doing some soul searching as to why I react the way I do, read several books and meditate, could always find the root of the problem but could never seem to find the solution. Thank you for the grounded explanation :)
Wow, that was totally amazing!! I am currently fighting with my BF over my insecurity because I think he expected me to fix it literally over night and that is just not possible. I am going to try your technique, thank you so much!
I have insecurities around his texting. He’s bad at texting me and when we’re in the process of making a plan, he takes so darn long and it makes me anxious because I want to see him and I get excited on to be disappointed that we don’t end up hanging out. I’ve told him a few times about it and then he “forgot” about a plan on Friday.
Thank you so much Susan. I agree with you 100%. This is a wonderful topic for men and women. Learning about ones let's call them defects of character is extremely important for not only ones own life, they are critical for any relationship. What I did, and still do is write down all of the triggers as you call them in a private journal because new ones will always come up. I look at only my part in each one. I look at how they effect me. I look at what I must do for myself to learn and change each one. If I cannot figure out how to help myself with something I seek help from a trusted friend or counselor. When a person looks at these triggers they will learn they are the problem and find that it is not their partners it is something about themselves they need to change. This is not easy and it is something a person has to stay on top of. I would encourage someone to write down the good things about themselves and make a gratitude list of things in their life as well. The only way a person can grow and heal like you said is they have to become willing to be honest with themselves. Become willing to do the work for only themselves. Stay open minded and always remain teachable because you will never stop learning unless you want to and then you are doomed to fail. Just my thoughts and feelings anyway I know that what I have practice works well for me. Again thank you Susan for helping others here. I know I am not the only one who appreciates your sharing your wisdom. Take care and have a great day.
Love your advice so much Susan! A man came into my life and "activated" it, something that I have never felt in my 31 years of living. Then he left me hanging. I went through two plus years of darkness where I was very miserable but in a way I learned so much about myself :) just like what you say, I think I should actually thank him because I slowly learn to accept and agree with who I am and to really heal from the baggages that I picked up from my parents. I am so thank you to come across your precious advice, Susan! ❤❤❤ Wish you have am instagram account... :)
Thank you so much.... More videos on this topic please... I was blaming him... But in reality he wasn't the culprit... I was the one doing harm to our beautiful relationship
A lot of my insecurities come out of the man I am seeing. He brought it to my attention that he is seeing a female coworker. After finding out I flipped out.
First time watching your channel and I have to say thank you for offering honest, valuable advice. It's easy to stumble onto some videos that end up not saying much of anything - although they may try, to their credit. I appreciate your emphasis on actionable steps, since that's really the turning point for overcoming insecurities and anxiety.
This is very true. I've had to deal with many of my own doubts and noticed that Women I've Loved were battling insecurities that they were combating. I had to be generally Supportive and understanding. Hopefully, I was able to help them navigate through them and find a solution.
Thank you again susan for this video. I have a question about fear of the ex in a relationship. I mean being obsessed with the fact that maybe he has never forgotten her, he still thinks of her, etc.. even if there are no evidences for such beliefs and it makes life unbearable. Where is this insecurity coming from and how to stop it? Thank you for the time you spend answering the comments. ☀️
I love this. Thank you. It reminds me of the Byron Katie work, only I really like how you describe dismantling the trigger. That image, of defusing a bomb, that's exactly what it feels like. Excellent imagery.
OMG Susan! Thank you Sooo Much !!! Added to favorite videos for quick reference. This is now part of my self improvement toolbox. Good job on this video Susan. So simple to understand
This is amazingly insightful! 👏 thanks for sharing this amazing advice! I'm constantly getting upset and insecure over little things. I either feel like I'm being undervalued or that I'm not good enough. But it's all in my head from my absent father and from my mother abandoning me at 15. I am dating the most amazing, secure, trustworthy and loving man, and I need to show up as his equal if I want him to want to keep investing in our relationship.
This video has really made me think differently on how to tackle insecurities in a relationship. I now know and feel like I can tackle my insecurities thanks to this video. Thank you it was so helpful.
Your perspectives have helped me tackle several issues in my life, you always explain everything so clearly! Thank you thank you, I cant thank you enough!
In the example of your friend, it needs to be assessed where her partner is coming from as well because his "jokes" could be masking his own insecurities. It may be that he actually perceives her as such an amazing person with "no flaws" and that makes him feel insecure that a "better option" might come along and snatch her away. I've had this type thing done to me by an ex who admitted he felt insecure because I seemed "perfect".
Wow, I wish I had been given this advice when I was in my 20s and being made fun of because I don’t drink. I’m in my 60s now and am still hearing the same comments about how I could possibly be enjoying myself somewhere without drinking, and these comments are usually made by a person who is placing a drink in front of me. Finally, I have some way to deal with it. Thank you.
Another brilliant and useful video. You always make such a great point. Love your videos! I'm learning so much from you and I truly value your input. I believe I mentioned this question previously but do you recommend any reading that covers the topic of having a healthy relationship? or simply any book that is related to a psychology that everyone needs to read. Thank you so very much for the great work you share with us!
Andreas, I like the Gottman Institute. They have weekly newsletters and articles by great therapists. I also like the work of Harville Hendrix. Both resources focus on bringing forth the positive.
Hi Susan... great video. You're so wise... I would like if you could make a video about why sometimes it gets so hard to move out from a certain relationship. Is this motivated by real love or is it a need to win no matter what? Thank you in advance, beauty!
“Relationships are a microscope on our mental and emotional health”. LOVE that.
I'm in trouble then!
@@sara-dx3ix same 😂😂
@@sara-dx3ix my girlfriend is too jealous and insecure and want be with me all time and she wont me go work without her track me down she wont let my friends hug me I really loves her we lesbain why she doing this ??.
Well said
You just saved my relationship ....
I’ve been dating a man for 6 months and he travels all the time and I was feeling insecure (thinking he’s cheating) and unsuccessful because I can’t do the same. After watching this video (only really understanding it after the second time) I said, ‘No, you’re a CFO who is working hard and he has a freedom that you don’t. It’s his success, not your failing. Be inspired by him, but don’t hurt your relationship because you’re intimidated by a different lifestyle.’ Suddenly I feel silly for being so nasty with myself when I’ve actually been successful in most of what I do. Thank you, Susan. You have a very elegant way of making very poignant statements.
Great comment - especially: “be inspired by him, but don’t hurt your relationship because you’re intimidated by a different lifestyle.” This rings true for what I’m feeling the present moment about a new relationship in the early stages still.
@@VitaminVee11same here I hope it worked out for everyone
Are you a woman?
I was in tears, going crazy bcus I'm dealing with my insecurities in my relationship I was very stressed out minutes ago . Thank you for not just bringing me back to my sense but for teaching me something new I can do in my relationship
The dude is just not fakeing . The finishes of the goals. Beautiful. Magisterial. Love you *Minslegend!.* .🙏🏼.
My little mantra "I'm worthy"
Absolutely.
Yesterday I saw one that someone uses by Louise Hay: "I approve of myself". 🌸
@@NikkoYM this one is even better ❤️🧡❤️
This is why, in my opinion, we should be in a better relationship with ourselves before you even let someone in to your life. If you don't know yourself and you get feedback from people, you'd automatically feel they're attacking you and you need to defend yourself. if you do this, it means you need some internal learning to do
But sometimes the only way to learn that is through having a relationship
@@HTHTNT77 Hi, yeah I agree with you too, this was also mentioned by Esther Perel. She's a psychotherapist who also does marriage counseling. Anyway, that first comment was 2 years ago, and I've also changed my view about self-awareness. Not having people around can create a bunker where we don't learn much if we're in one.
I'm 21 and Im in the first relationship I have had in many years. I have always been a very anxious person and I had thought that during these years i managed to come to a stable point with myself. But after entering a relationship all the fears and insecurities came back multiplied. I thought I was going crazy, but this video puts things in a different light. Thank you very much for the perspective
My ex gave me insecurities I never had before him. I didn't buy into them right away but it sipped in after a while. He was quick to see "flaws" that were only flaws to him. I realized he was very judgemental and critical because of his own insecurities. He finally "gave" up on me. I was thankful. I stayed far too long because I have a hard time giving up on others. I'm over that. 😆
Been there!! Incredible, isn't it? "He infected you with an insecurity because he wanted to control you."
Thats exactly what happened to me! However I always stay in toxic relationships because Im afraid to be alone
they project their insecurities on us. It's up to us to not buy into them.. also know that being single is is a great way to invest in yourself. Figure out why you don't you appreciate your own company?
Sounds like the last guy I dated. He found all these flaws, but he was the severly flawed one. Wasn't worth the hassle and he later revealed himself to not be such a bid deal. He was a jerk!
I was always confident and my partner bit by bit took it away from him making me feel insecure by certain things he said and done ...now I'm working on building myself up ...he said he was sorry and wanted me to feel like crap bevause he did ...he has lied and cheated and wants many chances ...now I'm uncertain and have fear on my mind ..its not healthy and I see it .im just trying to build myself back up from it all....its a crazy thing
I love this!!! Thank you! I just had a conversation yesterday with my bf about how I don't like it when he comments on other women's physical attritubes in front of me. I told him it made me feel uncomfortable and vurnable because I was unaware of how to respond to these comments. He in turn talked about how I can do the same thing when I see other men. I told him I did it because he does it when he sees other women. So we both were acting insecurly around each other. I'm just glad that I voiced it and was able to hear him out as well. I'm looking forward to seeing how we both can change and where our relationship will go moving forward.
Men are visual creatures, whether they comment on it or not. Women are not.. even if he doesn’t say it out loud he still thinking about it
I got cheated on a long time ago when I was at my most vulnerable and I wasn’t a bit of insecure. It ruined me and it still carries on to me. On top of that, I also do not get the best support and comments about myself growing up by my own family. Getting told I need to be like this and that for men to like. I’m a very middle grounded reasonable person so all of this hasn’t weighed down my personality but more or so my insecurities and my thoughts get warped so easily. I finally feel like I’ve met my match now and the issues that I’m struggling with is that the last time I was in this much love was with the guy that cheated on me. and it’s bringing in so many memories and voices in my head that I shouldn’t look forward to this journey and that it’s going to end negatively. This helped me a lot and see what true confidence is. I’m very vocal so I’m going to speak on it and I’m going to take the time to heal. I appreciate your wisdom
Thank you.Two bad relationships with narcissistic women constantly had me questioning my self worth because all the "flaws" they saw in me.It was only years later that I saw I wasnt what they saw and wondered why I even loved someone who treated me so crummy.Self introspection and leaving a bad relationship helps you grow in the end.
I hope I reach your level of understanding and clarity one day
You are so lovely and brilliant. I cannot tell you how much your videos have helped me. When I have these moments of insecurity and panic I remember your words. Your helpful advice brings me back to sanity where I can see things clearly and deal with them logically. Thank you. (Gonna purchase your books too!)
Jos, your note is truly moving. Thank you!!
@@SusanWinter i am jealous of my lesbain Fiancee"s new friend she is 45 and I am 35 her new friend is 46 she is also gay why Fiancee told me she loves me and only me she never leave me ???.
Wow! I love the way you explain everything your so calming. We are so lucky to be in an age where we have these valuable lessons on tap with the click of a button.
I just found your channel, Susan. I think you are great. You are not just another youtuber.
THANKS IVAN!
I'm so glad I came across this. I have been insecure for my entire life. People told me that guys were constantly checking me out in high school, but I never saw it because I walked with my head down. I'm now MUCH older and your videos are helping me realize that I was internalizing other people's judgments. I DO like myself. Looks can be improved, but I've always liked being alone.
Four years later, just finding this. Brilliant! Thank you
You're welcome! Thanks Nals
It's bubble bath time again. Having watched endless advise from you for many months, I have followed your every step of my disconnected 25 year relationship.
. Spit, found you, found my partner again. Your advise is than none other. I have been around 63 years , you are so very gifted with kindness and such teaching.
Living apart still, tiny steps for me. This is the finest TH-cam for me. Thank you again for showing me my work .
Will keep you posted.
You are a guardian angel to us all. Blessings to you .
Wow i cannot believe how u read my mind. Had a major discussion abt this today. Slowly realizing my self worth
Fantastic. Thanks for this message. Love the synchronicity.
Aww Susan, you're so wise and smart and beatuful. I feel lucky finding you 🌹♥️🌹
This was fantastic, Susan. I have a lot to think about with how I recognize what’s happening when an insecurity of mine is triggered even when the situation does not warrant it. I have such a hard time with worrying my boyfriend would go for his ex over me or cheat on me with someone else even though he has been extremely supportive and reassuring without me even saying anything. He constantly lets me know how important I am to him, but it is difficult to get rid of anxious thoughts as they come up. It will take some work, but I’m excited for when I am able to take control over how I think and process my insecurity, and hopefully shrink it.
You spoke like a true psychologist. Congratulations Susan! I just adore your confidence.
Thanks Alexandra.
2:17 IS SO TRUE!! Thank you for sharing
I am very sensitive and sometimes i think i get upset over things other people just go with the flow. Good video going make me think and really look where these feelings are coming from and not to react quickly like i do now.
I'm in a new relationship and I can't thank you enough Susan for your videos!
I just broke down listening to this from the very first sentence. I remember listening to you over a year ago when I searched for a video on how to deal with the pain of being ghosted. Now I am in a relationship with an amazing person but I find myself struggling from time to time with jealousy, which I think comes from my insecurities. :( I just wanted to say thank you for being there for people like us..
Thank you for sharing this wisdom. I was in actual tears and am wondering what you would see me think what I’m thinking… your way of explaining the matter is so much better than most people I’ve talked with.
This really spoke to me - this is such a great way to increase the love for yourself - which helps with every relationship. Being in agreement with who you are is a wonderful place to be. Great energy and strength! I felt inspired after this! Thank you Susan.
Amazing discussion, just what I need to hear, love your work, Cheers to good health. John
Thanks John.
Thanks a lot.... I've been worried about my boyfriend's new lifestyle in a big city while I'm living in my small town preparing for my med school enterance exams. I think I might be jealous or insecure about not having such lifestyle and I started blaming my partner that he was so showy and narcissistic for his behaviour. I should improve myself financially and the solution for this problem is to think rationally. Yeah I'm so insecure of not being financially stable to provide me such lifestyle but I could try my level best to improve me. And there's nothing to do with him, the answer is in my mindset. Relationship has brought my deep insecurity to the surface and I'm okay with that. All I need is to work on that 😊
That’s a very huge thing to work out… unfortunately it could destroy your relationship
i’m in the exact situation. i don’t smoke or do drugs or anything like that but my boyfriend did in his past and now every time i talk to my friend that currently does that i get so insecure and i’m like “why wouldn’t he want someone like her ?” “i wish i can handle smoking”
I found out my bf was smoking pot after 2yrs in, he said he needed it to stay calm, however he was overly calm , lazy, became stagnant and lost interest in his career, took it out on me and rarely cared to get to know my kids, I was so disappointed, am I over reacting? but my kids are from another relationship that ended because of their fathers drinking, I dont want that around my children... drink, drugs, bad behaviour, I dont want that at all, sometimes I feel like an outsider because so many people do this, but I want to stay strong as a single parent and try improve my life and make a better future for my family... so now I am single and working hard to not attract this lifestyle nd stay single while I work on myself. This video has really helped me, I now can finally say I am sure I am doing the right thing. Susan you are amazing
Being single and working on yourself is the first step.
Forget the men focus on your children
Perfect advice for building one’s self-confidence!
This is a practical tip that goes beyond just advising self love , it's not only motivation, it is like a compass which directs , it helps with the " how to",thank you so much Susan.
Thank you for showing me this new skill, it's amazing when we know better we do better to our self and our Relationships.
Oh wow thank you I’m literally crying right now this is empowering.
Thank you for sharing that with us!
I play this regularly as a reminder. This was and is super helpful to me. Thank you.
Wonderful video Susan, and oh so true that many of our insecurities come from external forces, like societal expectations and 'norms'. My own demon I'm battling with is an age gap difference between me and my bf. I'm 51 and he's 46. I'm an attractive, health conscious woman with a good job. I tell myself all the time 5 years isn't a big deal, but I'm never totally convinced 🙁. Ironically, if he were 51 and I was 46, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Crazy, right? And difficult to just talk myself out of.
Wow...that is the fuel I have been looking for. Been doing some soul searching as to why I react the way I do, read several books and meditate, could always find the root of the problem but could never seem to find the solution. Thank you for the grounded explanation :)
Wow, that was totally amazing!! I am currently fighting with my BF over my insecurity because I think he expected me to fix it literally over night and that is just not possible. I am going to try your technique, thank you so much!
You're welcome, Robin
i wish i found you a year ago, but, im still grateful for finding you.
This really helps me see my insecurities in a new way. Thank you so much!
I have insecurities around his texting. He’s bad at texting me and when we’re in the process of making a plan, he takes so darn long and it makes me anxious because I want to see him and I get excited on to be disappointed that we don’t end up hanging out. I’ve told him a few times about it and then he “forgot” about a plan on Friday.
I don’t feel like a priority to him.
Sounds like you are in a Limerence relationship with him… it will only scare him away
I'm really grateful to see this video after struggling for a whole night and day. Thank you, Susan.
Thank you so much Susan. I agree with you 100%. This is a wonderful topic for men and women. Learning about ones let's call them defects of character is extremely important for not only ones own life, they are critical for any relationship. What I did, and still do is write down all of the triggers as you call them in a private journal because new ones will always come up. I look at only my part in each one. I look at how they effect me. I look at what I must do for myself to learn and change each one. If I cannot figure out how to help myself with something I seek help from a trusted friend or counselor. When a person looks at these triggers they will learn they are the problem and find that it is not their partners it is something about themselves they need to change. This is not easy and it is something a person has to stay on top of. I would encourage someone to write down the good things about themselves and make a gratitude list of things in their life as well. The only way a person can grow and heal like you said is they have to become willing to be honest with themselves. Become willing to do the work for only themselves. Stay open minded and always remain teachable because you will never stop learning unless you want to and then you are doomed to fail. Just my thoughts and feelings anyway I know that what I have practice works well for me. Again thank you Susan for helping others here. I know I am not the only one who appreciates your sharing your wisdom. Take care and have a great day.
Thank you I've never thought of it this way. I'm going restart applying this method.
Love your advice so much Susan! A man came into my life and "activated" it, something that I have never felt in my 31 years of living. Then he left me hanging. I went through two plus years of darkness where I was very miserable but in a way I learned so much about myself :) just like what you say, I think I should actually thank him because I slowly learn to accept and agree with who I am and to really heal from the baggages that I picked up from my parents. I am so thank you to come across your precious advice, Susan! ❤❤❤ Wish you have am instagram account... :)
Great woman
Thanks MV
Wow this was so incredibly helpful, thank you!! I will definitely use this advice!
Thank you so much.... More videos on this topic please... I was blaming him... But in reality he wasn't the culprit... I was the one doing harm to our beautiful relationship
This is about the best one I’ve seen of yours and i like most of your videos
Thanks Todd.
A lot of my insecurities come out of the man I am seeing. He brought it to my attention that he is seeing a female coworker. After finding out I flipped out.
He set you up, Patricia. Be careful. He's a manipulator.
Susan Winter thank you for letting me know.
First time watching your channel and I have to say thank you for offering honest, valuable advice. It's easy to stumble onto some videos that end up not saying much of anything - although they may try, to their credit. I appreciate your emphasis on actionable steps, since that's really the turning point for overcoming insecurities and anxiety.
Such helpful analogies and hand gestures.. mind blown, will be back
Thank you, Elodie!
Wow I love the bomb analogy. I love this video. This needs more than one thumbs up.
THANK YOU HELEN!!
This is very true. I've had to deal with many of my own doubts and noticed that Women I've Loved were battling insecurities that they were combating. I had to be generally Supportive and understanding. Hopefully, I was able to help them navigate through them and find a solution.
Thank you again susan for this video. I have a question about fear of the ex in a relationship. I mean being obsessed with the fact that maybe he has never forgotten her, he still thinks of her, etc.. even if there are no evidences for such beliefs and it makes life unbearable. Where is this insecurity coming from and how to stop it? Thank you for the time you spend answering the comments. ☀️
REALLY GREAT video Susan!!! 👍🏻🙂
As always, ur insight is so right on and much appreciated!!!
All the Best to u~ 💐
Thank you, Whispering Wind
Whispering Wind
I love this. Thank you. It reminds me of the Byron Katie work, only I really like how you describe dismantling the trigger. That image, of defusing a bomb, that's exactly what it feels like. Excellent imagery.
So wise. I am lucky to come across your videos. Indeed, relationships are tools to improve us and meek a better version
You are just AMAZING 💖!!! Susan you have no idea how your videos had helped me to personal grow healing my heart! Thank you💕💕💕💕💕
Susan your're an expert. Tank you!!
OMG Susan! Thank you Sooo Much !!! Added to favorite videos for quick reference. This is now part of my self improvement toolbox. Good job on this video Susan. So simple to understand
So happy you like this one Ms. Brock
You're a queen, thank you !!!! You have no idea how much this exactly video helping me !!
I love to hear you talk. I find your voice very soothing 😙
This is amazingly insightful! 👏 thanks for sharing this amazing advice! I'm constantly getting upset and insecure over little things. I either feel like I'm being undervalued or that I'm not good enough. But it's all in my head from my absent father and from my mother abandoning me at 15. I am dating the most amazing, secure, trustworthy and loving man, and I need to show up as his equal if I want him to want to keep investing in our relationship.
This video has really made me think differently on how to tackle insecurities in a relationship. I now know and feel like I can tackle my insecurities thanks to this video.
Thank you it was so helpful.
Your perspectives have helped me tackle several issues in my life, you always explain everything so clearly! Thank you thank you, I cant thank you enough!
Wow.... Susan you are an immensely wise & genuine Spirit.
Thank you for your illuminating presense !!
Thank you 😌 I have certain things I get terribly hung up on and I needed this.
In the example of your friend, it needs to be assessed where her partner is coming from as well because his "jokes" could be masking his own insecurities. It may be that he actually perceives her as such an amazing person with "no flaws" and that makes him feel insecure that a "better option" might come along and snatch her away.
I've had this type thing done to me by an ex who admitted he felt insecure because I seemed "perfect".
Wow, I wish I had been given this advice when I was in my 20s and being made fun of because I don’t drink. I’m in my 60s now and am still hearing the same comments about how I could possibly be enjoying myself somewhere without drinking, and these comments are usually made by a person who is placing a drink in front of me. Finally, I have some way to deal with it. Thank you.
Love your videos. So clear and concise and de-mystifying. Thank you... and keep them coming !!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! this video is so helpful and it feels like the light at the end of the tunnel for me, thank you susan!!🥰❤️
Wow this was super helpful for me right now. Thank you Susan!
Amazing advice thank you
Thank you Susan.
Lana Lane,you look stunning 🌹 🌹🌷 🌷🌹 🌹🥀 🥀🌷🌺🥀🥀🌺🌺🌺
Wow great advice 👍 thank you
So good to hear, I'm in the process of healing and this video has helped with what I've been dealing with
I love the wisdom, clarity and compassion of your advice. I always feel better after I watch your videos! Thank you:)
Thanks Susan! 🙏🏽
Great advice, this helps me a lot!
Gold!!! Thank you!
Thank you, Susan! You rock! 😊
This is really smart, Thank you.
Yes we learn fear and relations makes it bigger.. We can reduce fear.. But of take's time...
"You've just used your relationship to heal you." Ah, tears.❤️🥲
Thank you so much ma'm
Thank you Susan❤
A Great Affirmation!!!
I am in Agreement with Myself and how I live my Life!!!
GREAT VIDEO THANK YOU !
Your the best ! I'm listing again . Well said as always .🐆❤️🌻
Another brilliant and useful video. You always make such a great point. Love your videos! I'm learning so much from you and I truly value your input. I believe I mentioned this question previously but do you recommend any reading that covers the topic of having a healthy relationship? or simply any book that is related to a psychology that everyone needs to read. Thank you so very much for the great work you share with us!
Andreas, I like the Gottman Institute. They have weekly newsletters and articles by great therapists. I also like the work of Harville Hendrix. Both resources focus on bringing forth the positive.
Thank you!!!! I love you! Your videos are so healing!
Just what I needed. I've added to favourites. I'll be using this technique and will try to report back eventually.
It's really great content and explanation
I feel that you are talking to me!!
Thank you
Hi Susan... great video. You're so wise... I would like if you could make a video about why sometimes it gets so hard to move out from a certain relationship. Is this motivated by real love or is it a need to win no matter what? Thank you in advance, beauty!
You're right Ms.Winter.