Now days most couples tend to wait until night time to paddle ones posteriors, they were certainly more adventurous in the 50s. Today its a grown up Timmy who gets the Mrs to spank him, the ball gag thankfully drowns out his wails of pleasure.
I've tried Sheath and it sucks. The outside-most part doesn't cover enough, so people can see your dick when viewed from the side. It's not very comfortable.
A magazine ad for Heinz ketchup was trying to get housewives to keep ketchup in the home, presumably because the husband would like it. It showed a business man at lunch with a beautiful waitress bringing a tray containing his lunch with a bottle of Heinz ketchup. He's looking very enthusiastic about her arrival. The headline read: 'He gets it downtown, why not give it to him at home?' Persuasive.
My alma mater university started as a Women's College in 1908, and for the first 60 years, their purpose was to train young women to be good housewives. So students were taught courses on how to clean the house, make the meals for the husband, how to pamper the husband, etc. Heard some of the stories about it from aged alumni when we did phone-a-thons to raise money for financially-burdened student scholarships. xD
For a very long time, a vendor of household machines in Germany ran his ads with the line "Bauknecht weiß was Frauen wünschen" (Bauknecht knows what women like) The last ad with that line had a handsome man with a baby on his knees, sitting on a washing machine like women had been placed on cars. After that, it got changed.
Im an engineer and worked for a coffee manufacturer and I know why coffee containers have vents on the front! Usually coffee gets put in a container while its still warm, which means it cooks a little while in transit. As the coffee roasts, it gives off gases (i wanna say nitrogen and CO2). Without the vents, the coffee tins/bags would explode, or at least puff up considerably. So happy to finally know an answer to a Simon question
I used your code for a pair of Sheath for my husband. Two weeks later he'd thrown out his entire drawer of boxer briefs and replaced them with Sheath. Am now God of gift-giving.
16:15 My old school actually took us to a kosher slaughterhouse in 8th grade. It was actually a good educational experience. I didn't realize that organs kept twitching after being removed from a cow. Others were turned off of meat for a little, but over all it was a good experience.
@@mangonel Oh yeah just about everything keeps twitching for at least some time with the muscles going. Fish can flex around for a bit even after you have removed the head.
Yeah that makes sense. I think if we take tours of green houses; people need to see the other side of the food market. I’ve seen it. I’m sad it’s so horridly industrialized and because of that diseases like e.coli are rampant and wide spread. But it’s a conversation kids need to see and have.
One of my friends said that if it meant a spanking, she'd serve her husband shit coffee every day. 🤣 Apparently she wasn't the target demographic for that ad.
@@StevenAndrews I mean, the advertisement was based off of the idea that if you DIDN'T want to get spanked you should serve your husband the higher quality coffee. So the ad would have been targeted towards people who didn't want to get spanked. If you wanted to get spanked, then you wouldn't buy the coffee being advertised and would instead go for the shit one.
The whole thing in princess bride is not that the king (actually the crown prince) has unwanted carnal intentions towards buttercup: he is trying to murder buttercup so he can frame a neighboring country as a pretext to invasion. This is also why he hired the kidnappers. It is why the kidnappers plant evidence. It is why he is so upset that the handsome ninja rescues her. He has no other interest in her, rapey or otherwise.
That "thing" on bags of coffee is a 1 way air valve. If you squeeze it you can push the air out and generate a pseudo vacuum seal. Theoretically keeping your coffee fresher.
it's to let out the CO2 that the coffee releases, why exactly it needs to get out I don't know (it's not like carbon dioxide is a highly reactive chemical that destroys flavor compounds)
@DivineDefecation The coffee naturally releases CO2 over time anyway - I admit it, I'm hipster enough to get local, fresh roasted whole beans that I can pickup from the roasters and if I leave the bag for a week or so - it gets quite fat... give it a squeeze and a few days later it's there again. Now when I put the coffee through a stove top (I'm not that hipster I have an espresso machine at home) it sort of fizzes more than coffee roasted months ago which I've been told is part of it being fresh - the fizz is more CO2 being released.
It is so you can ship them. Think about it, if the coffee creates more air in the package, which I can assure you it does, what do you think would happen if you put a bag of sealed coffee puffed up with air on an airplane? It would bust. Put in an air valve and it has a way for the spare air to escape without damaging the packaging.
Former stay at home dad here. Went away to visit my mom for a week. When I came home everyone was all excited and said "We got you a present!" It was a dishwasher. A dishwasher. Me: "does this mean you guys are going to start doing your own dishes?" Everyone: "Phhh. No. This just makes it easier for you." Thanks, guys. Thanks for that. By the way, no one had cleaned the toilet in a week.
Well, it's something. :) Actually my old 'in-laws' were a little worried I'd be offended about getting as gifts some arthritis-friendly cooking stuff, (We're both gals so it was really less about sexism per se, inasmuch as our divisin of labor was pretty personalized, but I did the cooking and such,,) ...but it was actually fine by me. Especially cause it was good stuff that really did make my life easier.
It would seem he does at least sometimes. Occasionally he'll tell Sam to insert a certain meme or complain that he knows Sam is going to insert a certain meme after saying something ridiculous.
I'd be far more shocked if a few people didn't try wrapping their kids in the cellophane. If I've learned anything the last few years, it's that no matter how stupid some is, how obviously a bad idea, how dangerous, there will still be people there to do it, and even defend it.
"Hey kids, let's take a couple tabs of LSD and go for a groovy extended dance around a busy slaughter house!" (paraphrased). I'm waiting for the book Danny, seriously, this is poetry
I was just gonna say this. The roasting process doesnt remove all the co2 so it continues to off gas over time. If the holes werent there the bags would explode in the supermarket
It isn't a vent, it's a one way valve. Coffee is vacuum packed, and it is the valve where they pull out the air after it is sealed. If the coffee off-gassed it wouldn't be vacuum packed when you get it, and it wouldn't be in those fun bricks. I used to work at a Folgers plant in New Orleans East
@@jacktheaviator4938 Dunno where you live or what sorts of stores you shop in, but as a humble American shopping at Winco and Kroger stores, I VERY rarely see vacuum-packed bags of coffee outside of the "Organic" aisle. Most have a little air, and you squeeze them to sniff the coffee inside. Only the high-end coffee is vacuum-sealed
A return to form! I always appreciate trying new things and new formats, but personally I still prefer this type of episode over any of the other recent experiments. Keep trying new things though! Except for new channels. Maybe cool it with the new channel every week thing.
Lol my birthday is tomorrow and my wife heard him say birthday present as she was next to me while watching this and was like there you go I'll get you some underwear for your birthday, perfect. I got her a $700 purse for hers in Janurary, thanks Blaze.....
When we're children we fear spankings, when we're adults we love a good spanking. Simon is totally clueless as to why his wife keeps buying cheap coffee. Hint, hint Simon. She's not trying to save money.
The valve on the coffee: Coffee roasting generates a bunch of carbon dioxide, some of which remains trapped inside the beans. Over time the beans degas a bit, releasing CO2. The valve is there to relieve the pressure so the bag doesn't puff up and pop. (Edit: There is quite a lot of CO2 given off when the coffee is fresh... but most supermarket coffee isn't, it's weeks or months since it was roasted) This CO2 trapped in the beans is the reason you get crema on espresso, the CO2 dissolves in the high pressure (about 9 bar) water during espresso making and then bubbles out when the pressure drops to ambient as the liquid leaves the machine, creating a foam. Same story for the "bloom" you get when making pourover coffee. That's also the reason why you should rest very freshly roasted coffee for a few days before making espresso with it - just after roasting there's so much CO2 still trapped in the beans that it can hinder extraction of all the coffee goodness. This is less of an issue for filter coffee, especially if your method includes a bloom phase to give the gas a chance to escape. So yeah, coffee is at its best a few days after roasting for about 2 weeks before it goes stale... so get your coffee from a local roaster so you know when it was roasted. And they might even pay the farmers a fair price for it too!
9:10 - Chapter 1 - Odd's one out 13:45 - Chapter 2 - How big is so grown 17:45 - Chapter 3 - Broken eastern promise 20:25 - Chapter 4 - Boiling the bag babies
This reminded me of an old TV "ad" from Sweden. "Sjövett 1964" (how to behave at sea). It was state sponsored with focus on keeping sweden clean. The methods where by putting rocks in your trash bags, make a hole in the bottom of your empty beer cans before throwing them overboard so they would sink and not float to the shore line....
4:15 SImon, I work in the coffee industry on the production/roasting side and those holes you were wondering about are one way vents which allow freshly roasted beans to offgas and not explode the bag on the shelf before it is unsealed by the end consumer. Though they do also allow you to get a nice wiff of beany goodness as well I suppose.
I'm sure he'll be doing a Blaze on his own video sometime in the future. Probably when it gets renamed back to Business Blaze. [edit] although marital spanking in sheath underwear would be a new twist.
Sam you are epic. Thank you for using one of my favourite memes and clips! And lots of epic editing as usual. Danny, love the script! You always manage to be hilarious. Simon, you know we love you already!
I grew up in Chicago. Our school actually took us on a field trip (a few years in a row) to the Union Stockyards. We were taught how they slaughtered cattle and we actually watched from a catwalk above the slaughter line. Good old American fun!!
I used to work for the old Standard Brands Company and one of the original companies that formed Standard Brands was Chase and Sanborn Coffee Company. By the late 1970's , the quality went so down we called it internally Chase and Burn Coffee. We finally sold the coffee business for almost nothing as the market share was down to almost 0.
Okay for real though when I was a kid that actually happened to me. My grandparents made me watch a cow get butchered so I could understand where my food comes from. It was ALOT
There's a Walmart ad with a kid bouncing a tennis ball off a wall singing, "I bounce the tennis ball" over and over. Then at the end, he says, "I bounce the tennis ball to forget about my cancer." The commercial fades to the cost of a can of tennis balls. You can find the commercial on TH-cam. Yes Simon, the past was the worst. Can I have a free shirt? I'll babysit Peter for you.
Speaking of abattoirs.... There is actually a child's book I have named pigs on the farm, which shows children lovely pictures of the pigs growing up. Near the end, the pigs go into a shed, and at the end of the book everybody's eating ham and sausages. Lovely. I think it's from the 1960s
Hormel did a short about some kids who voluntarily decide to go take a tour of the Hormel plant, and it goes into great detail up to and including showing cattle corpses being skinned
Not a slaughter house, but when my kids were young if we went in the meat Isle in the shop I would point to the different meats an make the sounds of the animal so they knew what we were buying.
First time I saw cellophane was at funfair sideshows, where prizes of goldfish were hanging up in plastic bags. Up until then there was only brown paper bags or grease proofed paper. There still used to be complaints of 'litter bugs', but it didn't hang around then.
9:00 Ad: "I'm going to punch this puppy" Simon: "He's not _literally_ going to punch the puppy." Me: "...He punched the puppy." Never become an ambassador, Simon. 10:30 GASP! It's Patrick Bateman (top left) 16:50 Heh. "AM I RIGHT, PETA?!"
Here's the thing: Yes, the ads were supposed to be funny. But humor doesn't work unless it touches on something true. If it doesn't, it's not funny, just stupid. So this was definitely happening, at least often enough that it wasn't a totally alien situation that made no sense whatsoever.
So I googled "racist shirt advertisement", selected "images", and the oxford shirt ad was among the first results. Under "racist advertisement", several ads from other Blazes were there. So Fact Boy for the win!
I'm only a few minutes in, so I'm wondering if this script will cover ads about "feminine hygiene" and how men treated them. -- also, Lysol was encouraged to be used as a feminine hygiene product.
"What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolence." Starting to miss the unhinged Simon replicant...
The plastic thing on a coffee packet is a valve used to vacuum pack the contents. If the packet is soft,the valve has failed,don't purchase if it isn't rock hard as the freshness is compromised.
Thank you Danny, this explains the joke of original Van der hausen from Bottom. We got the gist but that brand never sold in Sweden. The brilliant minds who wrote it must have thought of this.
Oh Jesus, I laughed at that shirt ad the same way that I laugh at Uncle Rukus on The Boondocks. I'm all, "This is horrible and racist! I shouldn't be laughing at this -- BUT I AM!" I'm so fucking canceled.
There’s an episode of I Love Lucy where Ricky gave Lucy a pretty serious spanking. Played for laughs, but it was a pretty serious spanking, not like a flirty, sexy kind.
I remember that. Was that the episode where she spent way more money than she was supposed to and semi committed fraud with her money account and the women club account until they were both empty. Ricky had to bail her out and ended up spanking her? Or am I thinking of another episode.
What does Danny get for snacks in the basement ?? How long does Danny get to see daylight?? The writer is extremely talented , even with Simon's reactions added. I enjoy all the writers and contributors it's the jokes about Danny that get me . 😂😂
I've always thought that everyone should understand where meat comes from, exactly what it takes to go from a living animal to your plate and (of course, age appropriate, you don't give a 5 year old a knife and a chicken) wherever possible, process at least one. If you're unwilling to ever do so yourself, should you be able to eat it after paying someone else to do the work for which you were unwilling? Just my thoughts, YMMV.
Everyone should fight in a war and kill at least one to understand where their sovereignty comes from? Just because you benefit from something unpleasant doesn’t mean you should have to partake in it for the sake of it
I'll kill a beast to eat and ill forage for food. I'm not going to, as I live in 2022 and that is unnecessary to acquire a meal. Does this laziness mean that I shouldn't eat meat or veggies?
I don't agree with you on the second part but I do agree with people knowing where their meat is coming from. Mainly because of how some industrial farming practices are a bit cruel. So some people may not agree with how the animal is treated at the farm or in the butchers. Basically I have long believed that a person should be as informed about what they are buying as possible so that they can make a decision based on the item and not the from lies and catchy buzzwords.
I suspect that Sam's editing setup has buttons for the main memes. "Perfect time for a Senor Chang, I would say! Sunny? Sunny?" Sunny: dramatic music... "No."
That McDonald’s commercial was totally true. It’s why commercials show people squeezing the burgers to hold their mouths shut, and my dad used to have to pluck out the hamburger eyes before they were Q’ed.
When simon was talking about the meat works i was like HA, I remember when I was 12 in primary school out class went on a trip to the local meat works to see how meat was done..... New Zealand in the 90s it was like being in the 1970s but with furbys
Being logged out doesn't only mean Ads it means a random starting page. It's like wtf is all this who are these people? Help log me in get me away from that evil trending page, take me back to SimonTube
Go to thld.co/sheath_blaze_0322 and use code BLAZE at checkout to get 20% off your order! Thanks to SHEATH for sponsoring today’s video.
Starts at 1:35
They should pay you an extra $100 for saying "order one and go oh i see now i will order more."
Just what i've always wanted penis pockets.
Now days most couples tend to wait until night time to paddle ones posteriors, they were certainly more adventurous in the 50s. Today its a grown up Timmy who gets the Mrs to spank him, the ball gag thankfully drowns out his wails of pleasure.
I've tried Sheath and it sucks. The outside-most part doesn't cover enough, so people can see your dick when viewed from the side. It's not very comfortable.
A magazine ad for Heinz ketchup was trying to get housewives to keep ketchup in the home, presumably because the husband would like it. It showed a business man at lunch with a beautiful waitress bringing a tray containing his lunch with a bottle of Heinz ketchup. He's looking very enthusiastic about her arrival. The headline read: 'He gets it downtown, why not give it to him at home?' Persuasive.
It worked tho what ketchup brand do we buy
OMG! 🤦♀️ 😆😆😆
My alma mater university started as a Women's College in 1908, and for the first 60 years, their purpose was to train young women to be good housewives. So students were taught courses on how to clean the house, make the meals for the husband, how to pamper the husband, etc. Heard some of the stories about it from aged alumni when we did phone-a-thons to raise money for financially-burdened student scholarships. xD
@@DayZeroChannel President's choice or fenches lmao
For a very long time, a vendor of household machines in Germany ran his ads with the line "Bauknecht weiß was Frauen wünschen" (Bauknecht knows what women like)
The last ad with that line had a handsome man with a baby on his knees, sitting on a washing machine like women had been placed on cars. After that, it got changed.
Im an engineer and worked for a coffee manufacturer and I know why coffee containers have vents on the front! Usually coffee gets put in a container while its still warm, which means it cooks a little while in transit. As the coffee roasts, it gives off gases (i wanna say nitrogen and CO2). Without the vents, the coffee tins/bags would explode, or at least puff up considerably. So happy to finally know an answer to a Simon question
I used your code for a pair of Sheath for my husband. Two weeks later he'd thrown out his entire drawer of boxer briefs and replaced them with Sheath. Am now God of gift-giving.
Legend!!
Did you spank him for having bought the wrong underwear? :)
Good job 1%er lol Not many people can afford such expensive undergarments.Dont forget to thank the kids overseas who made them for you.
16:15 My old school actually took us to a kosher slaughterhouse in 8th grade. It was actually a good educational experience. I didn't realize that organs kept twitching after being removed from a cow. Others were turned off of meat for a little, but over all it was a good experience.
...
I could eat some liver and onions right about now....
@@mangonel Oh yeah just about everything keeps twitching for at least some time with the muscles going. Fish can flex around for a bit even after you have removed the head.
Yeah that makes sense. I think if we take tours of green houses; people need to see the other side of the food market. I’ve seen it. I’m sad it’s so horridly industrialized and because of that diseases like e.coli are rampant and wide spread.
But it’s a conversation kids need to see and have.
I'm guessing you grew up in a rural or agricultural area though, right?
One of my friends said that if it meant a spanking, she'd serve her husband shit coffee every day. 🤣 Apparently she wasn't the target demographic for that ad.
Or was she…
Spanking is a fetish for some XP
Sounds like she's like "Jokes on you. I'm into that shit."
@@StevenAndrews I mean, the advertisement was based off of the idea that if you DIDN'T want to get spanked you should serve your husband the higher quality coffee. So the ad would have been targeted towards people who didn't want to get spanked.
If you wanted to get spanked, then you wouldn't buy the coffee being advertised and would instead go for the shit one.
That beard oil transition was as smooth as sandpaper, love it Blaze Boy!
The whole thing in princess bride is not that the king (actually the crown prince) has unwanted carnal intentions towards buttercup: he is trying to murder buttercup so he can frame a neighboring country as a pretext to invasion.
This is also why he hired the kidnappers. It is why the kidnappers plant evidence. It is why he is so upset that the handsome ninja rescues her. He has no other interest in her, rapey or otherwise.
Idk if that makes it better or worse
I like this new setup, however I LOVE and miss your yelling and walking around, am I RIGHT PETER!
That "thing" on bags of coffee is a 1 way air valve. If you squeeze it you can push the air out and generate a pseudo vacuum seal. Theoretically keeping your coffee fresher.
it's to let out the CO2 that the coffee releases, why exactly it needs to get out I don't know (it's not like carbon dioxide is a highly reactive chemical that destroys flavor compounds)
@DivineDefecation The coffee naturally releases CO2 over time anyway - I admit it, I'm hipster enough to get local, fresh roasted whole beans that I can pickup from the roasters and if I leave the bag for a week or so - it gets quite fat... give it a squeeze and a few days later it's there again.
Now when I put the coffee through a stove top (I'm not that hipster I have an espresso machine at home) it sort of fizzes more than coffee roasted months ago which I've been told is part of it being fresh - the fizz is more CO2 being released.
@@justalonelypoteto It's to ensure too much gas doesn't build up and pop the bag
@@27dcx Precisely. If you've ever opened a case of coffee with a blown bag you know what a mess that is.
It is so you can ship them. Think about it, if the coffee creates more air in the package, which I can assure you it does, what do you think would happen if you put a bag of sealed coffee puffed up with air on an airplane? It would bust. Put in an air valve and it has a way for the spare air to escape without damaging the packaging.
Former stay at home dad here. Went away to visit my mom for a week. When I came home everyone was all excited and said "We got you a present!" It was a dishwasher. A dishwasher. Me: "does this mean you guys are going to start doing your own dishes?" Everyone: "Phhh. No. This just makes it easier for you." Thanks, guys. Thanks for that. By the way, no one had cleaned the toilet in a week.
Well, that sucks. 😅
Stay at home parents are underrated. Glad you survived 😃👍🏾
As a Father of four I feel the lack of toilet cleaning as well.
Well, it's something. :) Actually my old 'in-laws' were a little worried I'd be offended about getting as gifts some arthritis-friendly cooking stuff, (We're both gals so it was really less about sexism per se, inasmuch as our divisin of labor was pretty personalized, but I did the cooking and such,,) ...but it was actually fine by me. Especially cause it was good stuff that really did make my life easier.
Sounds like tour wife beats you well...lol
I do hope Simon finds the time between making content for his 12 channels to see the work of the editors.
It would seem he does at least sometimes. Occasionally he'll tell Sam to insert a certain meme or complain that he knows Sam is going to insert a certain meme after saying something ridiculous.
This is definitely the best way to learn English. Very entertaining, keeps ya interested. Thank you! Keep the good work.
Simon makes my day. I can hear his voice even when I'm not on TH-cam.
Does he tell you to burn things too??!?
Arre you new residents of the basement?
You may want to get that checked out, mate...
That's because he has 95% of all videos on TH-cam!
I would love for Simon to review What We Do in the Shadows. That commentary would be gold.
I'd pay to witness that.
I'd be far more shocked if a few people didn't try wrapping their kids in the cellophane. If I've learned anything the last few years, it's that no matter how stupid some is, how obviously a bad idea, how dangerous, there will still be people there to do it, and even defend it.
Finally!! We get a "AM I RIGHT, PETER??!?" I've been missing that, and script slapping, and super long Danny intros...but ride til we die🇨🇦🤟
Ronald McDonald dancing with kids, showing them his meat garden... The past was the worst.
"Hey kids, let's take a couple tabs of LSD and go for a groovy extended dance around a busy slaughter house!" (paraphrased). I'm waiting for the book Danny, seriously, this is poetry
The vent on coffee packaging is because coffee produces co2 the valve is one way letting co2 build up leave the bag while not letting oxygen in.
It's so you can open the bag and use some of the coffee, then roll the top and seal it and squeeze out the air.
@@rubiconnn That is one aspect though even unsealable bags have them so I think it's about shelf longevity.
I was just gonna say this. The roasting process doesnt remove all the co2 so it continues to off gas over time. If the holes werent there the bags would explode in the supermarket
It isn't a vent, it's a one way valve. Coffee is vacuum packed, and it is the valve where they pull out the air after it is sealed. If the coffee off-gassed it wouldn't be vacuum packed when you get it, and it wouldn't be in those fun bricks. I used to work at a Folgers plant in New Orleans East
@@jacktheaviator4938 Dunno where you live or what sorts of stores you shop in, but as a humble American shopping at Winco and Kroger stores, I VERY rarely see vacuum-packed bags of coffee outside of the "Organic" aisle. Most have a little air, and you squeeze them to sniff the coffee inside. Only the high-end coffee is vacuum-sealed
A return to form! I always appreciate trying new things and new formats, but personally I still prefer this type of episode over any of the other recent experiments.
Keep trying new things though! Except for new channels. Maybe cool it with the new channel every week thing.
Lol my birthday is tomorrow and my wife heard him say birthday present as she was next to me while watching this and was like there you go I'll get you some underwear for your birthday, perfect. I got her a $700 purse for hers in Janurary, thanks Blaze.....
Maybe you'll get more enjoyment out of the underwear than she does out of the purse? Idk, I only buy $20 purses from Walmart.
When we're children we fear spankings, when we're adults we love a good spanking. Simon is totally clueless as to why his wife keeps buying cheap coffee. Hint, hint Simon. She's not trying to save money.
Going to bed early was also a childhood punishment. In adulthood, it's a reward.
The valve on the coffee:
Coffee roasting generates a bunch of carbon dioxide, some of which remains trapped inside the beans. Over time the beans degas a bit, releasing CO2. The valve is there to relieve the pressure so the bag doesn't puff up and pop. (Edit: There is quite a lot of CO2 given off when the coffee is fresh... but most supermarket coffee isn't, it's weeks or months since it was roasted)
This CO2 trapped in the beans is the reason you get crema on espresso, the CO2 dissolves in the high pressure (about 9 bar) water during espresso making and then bubbles out when the pressure drops to ambient as the liquid leaves the machine, creating a foam. Same story for the "bloom" you get when making pourover coffee.
That's also the reason why you should rest very freshly roasted coffee for a few days before making espresso with it - just after roasting there's so much CO2 still trapped in the beans that it can hinder extraction of all the coffee goodness. This is less of an issue for filter coffee, especially if your method includes a bloom phase to give the gas a chance to escape.
So yeah, coffee is at its best a few days after roasting for about 2 weeks before it goes stale... so get your coffee from a local roaster so you know when it was roasted. And they might even pay the farmers a fair price for it too!
9:10 - Chapter 1 - Odd's one out
13:45 - Chapter 2 - How big is so grown
17:45 - Chapter 3 - Broken eastern promise
20:25 - Chapter 4 - Boiling the bag babies
The past was the best! And also the worst! 🤣
Keep up the good work Fact Boi and stay safe.
"Now you be a good little Maxwell Housewife, or somebody's gonna walk the plank" said on a boat.
All of a sudden I'm imagining a new mop for sale being held by a woman to better swab the deck.
My grandfather was a “love child” between a Van Heusen and their maid back in the late 1800’s.
This reminded me of an old TV "ad" from Sweden. "Sjövett 1964" (how to behave at sea). It was state sponsored with focus on keeping sweden clean. The methods where by putting rocks in your trash bags, make a hole in the bottom of your empty beer cans before throwing them overboard so they would sink and not float to the shore line....
The McDonalds bit got me. I work in a factory that makes buns for McDonalds. :D
4:15 SImon, I work in the coffee industry on the production/roasting side and those holes you were wondering about are one way vents which allow freshly roasted beans to offgas and not explode the bag on the shelf before it is unsealed by the end consumer. Though they do also allow you to get a nice wiff of beany goodness as well I suppose.
The irony of Simon advertising Sheath underwear before talking about advertisements for 20 minutes
I'm sure he'll be doing a Blaze on his own video sometime in the future. Probably when it gets renamed back to Business Blaze.
[edit] although marital spanking in sheath underwear would be a new twist.
@@oracleofdelphi4533 We must believe the Oracle, lest fall into ruin.
I don’t know about the men’s shorts, but the sheath ladies line is far from disgraceful
@@MissBee13 I am absolutely in love with your sick sense of humor!
@@ultimateskillchain bras and panties- including mini boxers without the “pocket”. Plus shirts.
We want longer blazes!
Sam you are epic. Thank you for using one of my favourite memes and clips! And lots of epic editing as usual.
Danny, love the script! You always manage to be hilarious.
Simon, you know we love you already!
All these ads are absolutely amazing. I would glady buy these products
3:08 Why are you bringing Peter into this? Can’t you leaf him alone! Been waiting awhile for that one.
hes here all week folks
I grew up in Chicago. Our school actually took us on a field trip (a few years in a row) to the Union Stockyards. We were taught how they slaughtered cattle and we actually watched from a catwalk above the slaughter line. Good old American fun!!
I used to work for the old Standard Brands Company and one of the original companies that formed Standard Brands was Chase and Sanborn Coffee Company. By the late 1970's , the quality went so down we called it internally Chase and Burn Coffee. We finally sold the coffee business for almost nothing as the market share was down to almost 0.
Okay for real though when I was a kid that actually happened to me. My grandparents made me watch a cow get butchered so I could understand where my food comes from. It was ALOT
Lettuce, tomato, and hams. Such a meal is incomplete without cellophane.
Low-key, though. Chase & Sandborne is one of my favorites. As well as spanking. Allegedly
There's a Walmart ad with a kid bouncing a tennis ball off a wall singing, "I bounce the tennis ball" over and over. Then at the end, he says, "I bounce the tennis ball to forget about my cancer." The commercial fades to the cost of a can of tennis balls. You can find the commercial on TH-cam.
Yes Simon, the past was the worst.
Can I have a free shirt? I'll babysit Peter for you.
Speaking of abattoirs.... There is actually a child's book I have named pigs on the farm, which shows children lovely pictures of the pigs growing up. Near the end, the pigs go into a shed, and at the end of the book everybody's eating ham and sausages. Lovely. I think it's from the 1960s
Hormel did a short about some kids who voluntarily decide to go take a tour of the Hormel plant, and it goes into great detail up to and including showing cattle corpses being skinned
I love this channel. Thank you Fact Boi and all who are involved
Omfg vr chat CHOOBIE coffee meme
Simon you give Sam a raise he deserves it lol
Not a slaughter house, but when my kids were young if we went in the meat Isle in the shop I would point to the different meats an make the sounds of the animal so they knew what we were buying.
Sounds delicious
That's really weird, lol.
Not a single Skeletor style "Like a woman!", I'm disappointed Simon.
He apparently likes that one. His wife isn’t a fan.
What on earth is that animated "I want coffee!" clip from? I don't know why, but that had me laughing.
I’m a savage and proud of it. Screw TH-cam premium.
Sam, Thank you for adding a meme from Mystery Team! I had worked on it back in 2008. It was nice to see it being loved!
Yo! You're a legend for that!
First time I saw cellophane was at funfair sideshows, where prizes of goldfish were hanging up in plastic bags. Up until then there was only brown paper bags or grease proofed paper. There still used to be complaints of 'litter bugs', but it didn't hang around then.
9:00 Ad: "I'm going to punch this puppy"
Simon: "He's not _literally_ going to punch the puppy."
Me: "...He punched the puppy."
Never become an ambassador, Simon.
10:30 GASP! It's Patrick Bateman (top left)
16:50 Heh. "AM I RIGHT, PETA?!"
Early in for the Blaze!
Yo yo yo yo 👊
Glad you've got the lamp there to light up your neon sign
That little hole is for exactly what you said - smelling to see if the coffee is fresh. One brand here in Canada even says so on the label
Here's the thing: Yes, the ads were supposed to be funny. But humor doesn't work unless it touches on something true. If it doesn't, it's not funny, just stupid. So this was definitely happening, at least often enough that it wasn't a totally alien situation that made no sense whatsoever.
So I googled "racist shirt advertisement", selected "images", and the oxford shirt ad was among the first results. Under "racist advertisement", several ads from other Blazes were there. So Fact Boy for the win!
I have to say, I love that “Tangent Boy” shirt
Beard oil is probably Simon's old dish water bottled by danny in the basement
Actually, it’s the greasy residue remaining after he finishes cleansing his facial hair.
I miss the epic blazes and the back to back to back blazes, can’t get enough fact boy
The orc made me spit out my coffee. 😂
I'm only a few minutes in, so I'm wondering if this script will cover ads about "feminine hygiene" and how men treated them. -- also, Lysol was encouraged to be used as a feminine hygiene product.
@Jennifer 20 that gives me an idea. I'd like to see a Brain Blaze about spam bots.
Damn that’s crazy, not surprised though 😳
The past really was the worst...
Holy $#!t....
Sorry, Lysol was recommended for WHAT?!
Omg
How many were permanently injured?
"What we were after now was the old surprise visit. That was a real kick and good for laughs and lashings of the old ultraviolence."
Starting to miss the unhinged Simon replicant...
The plastic thing on a coffee packet is a valve used to vacuum pack the contents. If the packet is soft,the valve has failed,don't purchase if it isn't rock hard as the freshness is compromised.
Can tell that Simon really enjoys making these ones.
Thank you Danny, this explains the joke of original Van der hausen from Bottom. We got the gist but that brand never sold in Sweden. The brilliant minds who wrote it must have thought of this.
Oh Jesus, I laughed at that shirt ad the same way that I laugh at Uncle Rukus on The Boondocks. I'm all, "This is horrible and racist! I shouldn't be laughing at this -- BUT I AM!"
I'm so fucking canceled.
There’s an episode of I Love Lucy where Ricky gave Lucy a pretty serious spanking. Played for laughs, but it was a pretty serious spanking, not like a flirty, sexy kind.
I remember that. Was that the episode where she spent way more money than she was supposed to and semi committed fraud with her money account and the women club account until they were both empty. Ricky had to bail her out and ended up spanking her? Or am I thinking of another episode.
@@justalittleturtle5600 yes! That’s the one. I couldn’t remember the plot at all, but that’s it.
What does Danny get for snacks in the basement ?? How long does Danny get to see daylight??
The writer is extremely talented , even with Simon's reactions added.
I enjoy all the writers and contributors it's the jokes about Danny that get me . 😂😂
2:30 images flash in my mind and i 😂 😂
i have seen this ad. i'm looking forward to Simon's reframing ?:-)
I've always thought that everyone should understand where meat comes from, exactly what it takes to go from a living animal to your plate and (of course, age appropriate, you don't give a 5 year old a knife and a chicken) wherever possible, process at least one. If you're unwilling to ever do so yourself, should you be able to eat it after paying someone else to do the work for which you were unwilling? Just my thoughts, YMMV.
I love killing animals and eating them, it's the best when they're really fresh. From the table, is the only way to go for all your meats.
Everyone should fight in a war and kill at least one to understand where their sovereignty comes from? Just because you benefit from something unpleasant doesn’t mean you should have to partake in it for the sake of it
I'll kill a beast to eat and ill forage for food. I'm not going to, as I live in 2022 and that is unnecessary to acquire a meal. Does this laziness mean that I shouldn't eat meat or veggies?
I don't agree with you on the second part but I do agree with people knowing where their meat is coming from. Mainly because of how some industrial farming practices are a bit cruel. So some people may not agree with how the animal is treated at the farm or in the butchers.
Basically I have long believed that a person should be as informed about what they are buying as possible so that they can make a decision based on the item and not the from lies and catchy buzzwords.
@@Nostripe361 That I can get behind.
Ok so this is one of the best Brain Blaze videos ever. Epic. Free Danny!
Wow Holy Sh1t! The van H. Shirt advert!!! No words, just Jaw Drop. 😲😖😖😖😖
4:20 that little hole on the coffee bags is how they suck the air out of the bag.
That's dark... DARK ROAST!! Amiright Petah?
In an ocean of weird ad reads, Sheath is a rogue wave
Your commentary 🤣 thanks for being you. Awesome writers, sound effects and images 😀
I suspect that Sam's editing setup has buttons for the main memes. "Perfect time for a Senor Chang, I would say! Sunny? Sunny?"
Sunny: dramatic music... "No."
That McDonald’s commercial was totally true. It’s why commercials show people squeezing the burgers to hold their mouths shut, and my dad used to have to pluck out the hamburger eyes before they were Q’ed.
Sam using metal gear solid memes needs to be more occurent 👀
Danny and Sam strike again with another great BB episode.
I planted a hot dog tree as a kid and I am still confident that's where all my meat-related food came from when I was younger.
When simon was talking about the meat works i was like HA, I remember when I was 12 in primary school out class went on a trip to the local meat works to see how meat was done..... New Zealand in the 90s it was like being in the 1970s but with furbys
I am glad to see “ Am I right Peter” is here. It’s a staple in my house.
Oh man. These memes are so great
The hole is for smelling the coffee to see if you enjoy the scent ☺️ and I was well into adulthood before I knew that 😆
And the next day his coffee had a little extra something he could never quite figure out what it was and her next husband never made the same mistake.
He broke her hands obviously...
@@ChIGuY-town22_ No I was thinking more along the lines of she poisoned her first husband and the second husband heard the rumors.
why do I imagine this could be an 85 part series and still not run out of content 😆 the past, in fact, was the worst
Good to see some longer range content again Simon I like the new format for the channel but I miss the epicness
14:46 Omg sam lmfaooo
That little hole on coffee bags is a one way valve for vacuum sealing the bag to preserve the coffee’s freshness
Late commenter. The little hole in many coffee bags is used to vacuum seal for maximum freshness. Love your videos keep up the solid work fact boy
Dear Simon
I need more epic blazes in my life
Please and thank you
Apparently a few of these companies were fans of the old John Wayne film McLintock!
the hole in a bag of coffee is so co2 can escape. it's a 1-way valve so air doesn't get in and the bag doesn't explode
As far as you know, that WAS an LSD trip through a slaughterhouse.
I wish he still stood up it was way more wild that a way. Him with the bashing of the script
I'm a member of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals - beef, t-bone steaks, pork chops, chicken schnitzel, and much more.
Being logged out doesn't only mean Ads it means a random starting page. It's like wtf is all this who are these people? Help log me in get me away from that evil trending page, take me back to SimonTube