Build your own variety box here → magicspoon.thld.co/blaze_1221 and use code BLAZE to get $5 off today! Thanks to Magic Spoon for sponsoring today’s video!
So, guess what!?! Mother Teresa was an evil sadist who didn't believe in pain management for people dying of terminal diseases, as suffering would help them gain understanding of, and thus bring them closer to, lord and saviour Jesus Christ! Testimonies of people who visited her places of death described how they basically sounded like torture dungeons, full of the dying suffering completely unnecessarily... but at least it was cheap, so... a lot of questions over what happened to all of the donations to her "charity". But, she got that endorsement from the paedophile ring of Rome, that's gotta be worth something, right?
29:38 Ah, Yess... Because a system that allows corrupt organizations to decide arbitrarily who is a "qualified professional" and who's not, has no chance of being used for evil purposes........
Oh Simon, I think it's adorable that your little girl is starting to talk. In my heart of hearts, I just hope that among her first phrases is, "Daddy Chill."
@@racer3886 well, only during November. Now he's keeping the profits 😶 Every dollar you spend on a Free Danny shirt, now goes towards buying new locks and chains.
Well, they still have to bring their point across. Only ever lying makes communication impossible. "Buy now at 2300 central blvd. EMERALD CITY." _No wait I mean Atlanta - but that would be the truth and not a lie and I have to _*_lie,_*_ agh! Why did you curse me, bald genie!_
Hmm... I always thought lawyers, at least the ones that I engaged, wore very nice suits. QUESTION: What do you call 50,000 lawyers on the bottom of the Ocean? Hmm? ANSWER: A VERY GOOD START. 💬* 🐧 *[That's COLD, brother. I'm wearing the ORIGINAL Barrister's outfit!]
Coca-Cola absolutely contained cocaine back in the day. They actually still use coca leaves in their formula for for flavoring, although the active alkaloids are extracted from them beforehand for use in the pharmaceutical industry. There's only one company in the U.S. allowed by the DEA to import and process coca leaves, and years back when I worked as a welder I helped build some replacement extraction/distillation vessels for that company - which is how I found out about it.
Sam is on top of it with the memes. He's absolutely on point with this vid. Edit: holy shit all three are super on point for this vid not just Sam. One of my favourite BB episodes ever.
I feel like one day we can expect a Brain Blaze episode comprised entirely of various Simon clips from Blazes past to form a single semi-coherent Blaze to end all Blazes. The rate at which Simon is becoming the source of memes for his own videos is the evidence I present in this paper......
My friend's grandmother used listerine so much that she killed all the good bacteria in her mouth and fungus started growing on her tongue. The treatment to get rid of it took months. So that part about listerine killing all the bacteria is true, but you have to overuse it. She used it literally like 10 times a day.
A. Why did the intro feel like Danny was talking about every single perfume/cologne commercial on TV. B. Danny thank you for giving Simon an almost existential crisis making him think you were leaving....WHEN WE ALL KNOW YOURE CHAINED IN THE BASEMENT!!!
Not listerine specifically, however I was told by my dentist to use a fluoridated mouth wash after vomiting (which happens a LOT with my health issues) and it has made a huge difference to my dental health. I had a tooth completely crumble out of my mouth before I started using fluoridated mouthwash several times a day, like I literally woke up spitting out my right molar :( Since I started swishing with UltraDex after every puking session, I have only had some very tiny marks on my teeth (patches where the enamel is slowly eroding, but hasn’t worn through yet!). Which is so much better than crumbling teeth! Who would have thought stomach acid&malnutrition is horrible for your teeth? Anyways, if you puke, after you get a sip of water or take antisickness meds or whatever your routine is, use a mouthwash with fluoride and you will have fewer teeth issues.
I should do this then. I’ve been having some health issues recently and vomiting is a part of it. My teeth have started feeling fuzzy on the inner part. I’ve never had any real tooth issues before so that freaked me out quite a bit. Thanks for the tip.
That's so handy! It would have been nice to know last year when I was vomiting on the daily. But I will keep this tip in stock in case of future vomits.
Makes sense. Fluoride is nearly atomically identical to tooth enamel, so it fits like a puzzle piece in damaged teeth. It's one of the only substances that binds with our body that is stronger than what is naturally produced!
I don't buy at Amazon because it's cheaper. Often, it isn't. I just had to replace my UPS, and Amazon is not where I found the best price. I buy from them, when I do, because I can almost always find what I'm looking for there, whereas I need to shop around otherwise and maybe not find it at all. I'd happily benefit from that while paying them a little more if it meant the workers were treated ethically and they'd stop union-busting. Of course, their net income in 2020 was over $21 billion, so they could easily afford to treat their workers ethically right now without raising prices. They just choose not to.
Plot twist, Danny has finally figured out how to escape from the basement and decided to totally roast Simon in his last script. By the time Simon gets through the the script (with added tangents) Danny will have run to the nearest police station and started telling them about the mean man whose made him write millions of scripts for the thousands of TH-cam channels he has
Simon, I feel you on the toddler swearing. Mine has the habit of shouting “Goddamnit!” every time he’s frustrated, lol. We’re working on it, but yeah, it’s a process.
After the phrase "Oh, we're so on the same page for this one I can feel it!" an ad came up singing something like "happy sharing love", at first I thought it was Sam's genius recation😂😂😂
I remember when I first started driving, one morning my car wouldnt start. So I called mom and she told me to get a cup of coke and pour it on the connectors of the car battery (it had corrosion). I poured the liquid over the corrosion and watched as it ate away at it, clearing the connections. Then took a sip from the glass. One for the car, one for me.
Children swearing was a difficult thing to deal for myself. My father-in-law bought my 2 year old son a child sized wheel barrow and shovel so he could help up spread mulch in the garden which he absolutely loved. But when he tipped the barrow and spilt the mulch in the middle of the yard, he put his hands on his hips and said clear as a bell "fa fucks sake." My father-in-law looked straight at me and asked "I wonder where he got that from?" I could barely answer for laughing but naturally blamed the local daycare.
I would teach my kids to swear, might as well, they’ll learn it sometime (half due to society today, half because I swear like a drunken sailor), might as well teach them the social etiquette of swearing when they’re young. Either that or you’ll get called in one day because your kid started calling everyone bitches because he/she heard it from the bus driver.
My son used a few of them a couple times. We got him to stop but then he called them daddy words and he would scold me for using them "they aren't mommy words"
As a kindergartner, let’s not forget I was in Catholic School, I was the one who taught half class and my older cousin and his best friend how to cuss😂😂😂 best accomplishment of my entire life!!
Modern games sold in physical form nowadays, with no added merchandises or extras are now known as: Premium Legendary Platinum GOTY Pro-Gamer Collectors Limited Edition. It's going to get worse in the future, my friend
Yes , third. Simon more channels like this please, one for each day. Also put BB on podcast as well pls. Having great time listening to decoding the unknown and the casual criminalists.
The Beard grows. It's roots reach deeper and spread further. ALL HAIL THE BEARD!!! May the fact filled Whiskers of Whistler forever bring us wisdom and knowledge. So say we all, "allegedly."
In all fairness, being locked into an AT&T contract for an iPhone prior to an iPhone4 didn’t matter much here in the states because they only worked with the AT&T service out of the box. Even several iPhones I had (never use AT&T) were only compatible with my carrier unless you jailbreak the phone. The easy removable SIM cards on all iPhones that allow a device to be brought from one carrier to another is pretty recent. That said, AT&T customers probably didn’t understand they weren’t getting anything for free.
"Yeah, we could flesh this out to nine solid pages..." So, guessing Simon hasn't dealt with much litigation. I've seen a response to a lawsuit where a man was suing because of a "faulty" toilet seat in a casino's hotel room that went 81 pages. Nine pages is like, "Do you even legal, brah?"
A sort of "More pages equal more bullshit to give the impression of a sound legal argument rule" to use as a default way of approaching legal matters. I can see that being helpful, as long as the person still looks into the "brief" to be sure it isn't the rare long brief that happens to have merit.
Oh my God! Yes! We are not designed to eat that much grain. When I slipped it, and started eating far more fruit, vegetable, lean white meat, and far less green, I dropped a ton of weight.
If you want to name something after someone who did good things Mother Teresa down there with Harold Shipman. At least he didn’t reuse needles and gave people painkillers.
“Pain and suffering have come into your life, but remember pain, sorrow, suffering are but the kiss of Jesus - a sign that you have come so close to Him that He can kiss you.” - Mother Theresa aka suffering is a gift from god🙄
Yeah her clinics took in millions of dollars in donations and lacked anything we would consider medical necessities. She honestly believed the suffering was *good* for them. She was pretty horrible and got sainted because, "meh, Indians." She's worth a Biographics or as someone else said, Casual Criminalist episode. Or both!
@@TylerAult yes Tyler! Definitely a casual criminalist like that cult girl who became the leader and even worse than the cult already was... Theresa would fit right in, in that narrative.
I've been watching for several years and just recently found more of Simon's channels. I JUST realized who/what he reminds me of in the way he speaks. Simon Whistler even sounds like the perfect name for it, Simon reminds me of a character from Archer lol
Actually a lot of organic, health food cereal at Whole Foods or Kroger’s isn’t that much cheaper, it’s stuff like Kellogg’s and General Mills cereals are $5-$6. So in reality it’s comparable to other health brands.
You know what I like first thing in the morning? Hearing a adult man eating cereal, the crunching sounds and him moaning "Mmmm". Goes great with my coffe.
My all time favourite attempt at misleading advertising was for a toothpaste that was "made with real dentists". Sadly, it was pulled after a couple of days, but I'll never forget it, or stop laughing :)
I wonder if Simon would like magic spoon if he had to pay for it? 10$ a box for 7 oz. Where as 8$ to 10$ for adult healthy cereal in a 15 oz to 18 oz box. Magic spoon is to rich for my blood 20$ for a normal size box. They have good business practice and a good product just not affordable.
Exactly. I’m sure it’s good but it’s not worth it when I can drive 5 blocks away and get the the same, for cheaper, and more of it. I would’ve bought it by now but it just doesn’t make sense at the price.
I walked away from AT&T after they double billed for some thing that they specifically said it was not going to be billed for. They also tried to lock me into a contract after I specifically asked for a prepaid device. Absolutely not!
Androids r for people who feel they should be able to do whatever they want with their phone not only what Apple wants or allows u to do. Android forever!!!
Ah simon, going to medical school doesn’t make you a critical thinker unfortunately. Some MDs even don’t believe in vaccination or some medical conditions. For instance I was literally told by a cardiologist that POTS (Postural Orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) is a fashionable label and not real. A heart specialist who doesn’t “believe” in an autonomic heart condition…
Well no one knows how vaccines affect developing kids because the pharma companies don't need to collect data for more than a couple months. And they're protected from lawsuits resulting from vaccine damages. even now with the covid 'shot' (they had to change the definition of vaccine to legally call it a vaccine) the only support comes from social pressure. If anything the vaccine-skeptics have a point.
Imagine that, corporate company corporations making unsubstantiated claims about their products, it's a crazy idea that'll never catch on, allegedly... :P
21:58 Well it Is true. Oranges can make you fat and contirbute to tooth decay because it has loads of sugar in it. Fructose is the worst as it contributes to non alcoholic fatty liver disease. The only thing that makes orange juice better than soda (besides taste, I love OJ but rarely consume it) is that it contains a decent amount of potassium and vitamin c.
Simon, I keep forgetting how young you are and then you always remind me somehow. You'd have to buy a ribbon cartridge for those , white out things on the electric typewriters... It was cool unless you made a lot of mistakes and then you could see the faint type on the paper. I don't miss those days
8:40 - Glad to see I’m not the only one who Google Maps places. My friend thinks it’s strange and overthinking things, but if a place is bombarded with bad reviews, I ain’t going there!!
Not a lie but a runaround, which is nearly as bad. We were in a meeting with our plant manager. Someone asked him a question. He said that it was a good question, then talked for several minutes, but never answered the question.
Im over a year behind so not a single person is going to read this, but THIS was the magic spoon ad read that sold me. Ive seen it in my stores and ive heard Simon talking about it many times but something about this read just totally sold me
Properbly a bit of tabasco to : "There is something beautiful in seeing the poor accept their lot, to suffer it like Christ’s Passion. The world gains much from their suffering.” Yeah- except when it came to her own health, that shit went straight out the window. I surpose she wasnt poor, with all those donations. ALLEGEDLY.
I have recently gone back to school to finish my undergrad degree in business. Now that you mention that you have an undergrad degree also. I fear for my future
I kinda like what one of my friends does, he calls it the "gay tax" because it started with Chick-fil-A and he is a gay man, so when he buys from them he donates the same amount or more to a group like the Trevor project. He does this for whatever crappy company he gives money to in a sorta karma juggling trick.
Most of my LGBT friends love Chick-fil-A and they make the funniest jokes about having to make up for it morally and it’s always hilarious what they come up with. I’ve never been so I can’t say if their food is good or not. Lol.
@@foxhoundp9949 I don’t really eat fast food very often but people who do always talk chick-fil-a up to the point that I’ve started to wonder if they’re being paid. 😂 Interesting to hear from someone who doesn’t like it.
people not in the us: just have a central authority and report it to them, ez people in the us: central authorities?!?!?!!?!? nah we'd much rather have our lawsuits.
My grandma had a "top shelf" computer and printer back in the early to mid 90's. It was the coolest thing ever as a little kid. I got my first computer at my own home in 2000, and it was over $1000 and it wasn't even good. Dude I got a Dell
Is there anyone else here who immediately write a comment about Magic Spoon, then scrolls through looking for other Magic Spoon comments while listening to the ad read on Magic Spoon? ......at least I'm not the only one. Magic Spoon is always one of his top (if not THE TOP) best ad reads. Cinnamon and Fruity are my favorite flavors.
"You can't bribe poor people into getting into a contract they can't afford"... You literally just described capitalism as a whole, or at least its current incarnation.
I dont think farts have putrecine as a chemical component, but i know bad breath smell does. Thats the chem known for being a major component of rotting flesh smell.
There are Christian hospitals, clinics and charities BECAUSE they are often funded by Christian organisations and some of them staffed by Nuns, Monks and other religious lay people as part of their mission/for free. In places like the USA, medicine can be very very expensive. People who will dedicate their lives to free clinics are actually… good people. Giving them crap for the beliefs that inspire them to do that (whilst you get paid to TH-cam) is bollocks Simon. If freaking Harry Potter societies start doing that stuff, then there can be Harry Potter hospitals 🤷🏻♂️
Right! Simon has spoken before about the good works of people like Mother Teresa and Gandhi. Yet he is more than willing to rubbish their beliefs as crazy fairytales Well, I'm going to put my money on Mother Teresa and Gandhi, who changed the world with their selflessness, rather than an atheist TH-camr, even if he is reasonably more hilarious.
As a landlord I find it funny that my tenants usually have nicer phones, TVs, and cars than I do. And higher monthly payments. I may have a 32" TV and a 7 year old phone, but I own their house... There is a reason this is a repeating pattern.
Yup. I don't have debt and keep it that way. I also don't have a house. Or a car. Or expensive clothes. Or a TV. Or foreign holidays. I do have a phone, but 3 phones in 20 years is a good rate. And a big computer, that also earns its keep. And I'm blissfully happy. Debt is *reckless.* Moronically reckless.
I was part of the class action lawsuit against AT&T for this very practice you detailed here. That was years ago. Well guess what showed up today? An actual settlement check. Holy cow! Real Money’ A stunning $9.01
If there is anyone out there that thinks injecting Listerine into your eye will prevent covid, please post the video of the aftereffects, I'd love to watch it.
In the eyes of some sure but... Humourless pendantry attack: Simon is right. Capitalism does not (necessarily) equal zero laws/regulation. In fact many "capitalist" societies invented regulations on trade long before the term was even coined 👍. Capitalism doesn't even necessitate the use of loans involving interest/ usury. So. Laughing a bit but. No. #noteverycapialism 🤔😋
I have an Uncle who has been denouncing Walmart for 20 years. Says he wants us to join his Boycott. His cupboard is full of Walmart store food. He is just being a poser, like how he is a giant Environmentalist always complaining about my small pickup having a bigger Carbon Footprint than his Prius, but takes vacations to exotic locations by commercial airliners 4 or 5 times a year. His Footprint has got to be at least 5 times mine.
Funny wnough Coca-Cola is one of the only non-medical companies to have acess to cocoa leaves. They use the spent leaves in.the recipe. I dont know it affects the taste, but it is still an igredient.
According to cursory googling, the original recipe which called for whole coca leaves, did in fact get a lot of its flavor from said coca leaves. Upon research showing that cocaine from coca leaves is technically dangerous, they opted to swap out for spent coca leaves, meaning the cocaine is gone, but the flavor isn't. So, yes it does apparently affect the taste, but said taste has been the same since 1904.
Also, apparently the company that imports the coca plant for processing is the only company legally allowed to process and import it in the entire US. Makes you wonder if there are other companies who use spent coca leaves without a medical reason, but aren't required to say so.
Coca*, important difference. lol But it does affect the flavor. Every once in a while, I get a bottle that tastes just a bit too much like lawn clippings because they used too much. Most of the time, though, it gives a slight earthy undertone that most other colas lack.
@@OtakuUnitedStudio Thanks I was using a crappy phone with a horrible auto correct, and yeah I just wanted to point out they still do put coca in, just not with the drug.
@@ShadowReignhart I don't think so. I think its mostly just medial use for the one company that uses it, and for coca cola. COcaine has very few uses that are medically accepted.
🤔 Capitalism doesn't (necessarily) mean zero regulation "sell-your-granny-for-a dollar" mercantilism. Your capitalism may vary. Or... not. His understanding seems far better then most frankly. Unless of course there are zero capitalist nations on earth...
Build your own variety box here → magicspoon.thld.co/blaze_1221 and use code BLAZE to get $5 off today! Thanks to Magic Spoon for sponsoring today’s video!
So, guess what!?! Mother Teresa was an evil sadist who didn't believe in pain management for people dying of terminal diseases, as suffering would help them gain understanding of, and thus bring them closer to, lord and saviour Jesus Christ! Testimonies of people who visited her places of death described how they basically sounded like torture dungeons, full of the dying suffering completely unnecessarily... but at least it was cheap, so... a lot of questions over what happened to all of the donations to her "charity". But, she got that endorsement from the paedophile ring of Rome, that's gotta be worth something, right?
orderd frm them a week or so ago got 4 limited time flavours cant wait to try the as always used your code
@@annoloki So? She's dead.
29:38 Ah, Yess...
Because a system that allows corrupt organizations to decide arbitrarily
who is a "qualified professional" and who's not, has no chance of being used for evil purposes........
These 5-10min sponsor reads are just disrespectful to your viewers.
Oh Simon, I think it's adorable that your little girl is starting to talk. In my heart of hearts, I just hope that among her first phrases is, "Daddy Chill."
Again a "not Business Blaze anymore" that's all about business. Well played Fact Boi, well played.
@@TheRatsintheWalls jup
@@Ciborium I am convinced this is how Danny is rebelling...
Honestly it's more on brand changing the name in an effort to avoid confusion with new viewers, then it being as equally confusing after the rebrand
We have gone full circle again Simon. How the turntables.
Or did the (allegedly) cocaine binge caused this loop?
Don't sue me bro
I preferred the Business Blazes lists over the Brain Blaze one offs.
Simon's existential crisis about Danny's script in the beginning. Mood AF.
I think Danny wants a raise. At least a walk outside once in a while
@@johnlittle8975 he's already giving Danny the proceeds from his Free Danny shirts. What more does a man chained in the basement need
@@racer3886 well, only during November. Now he's keeping the profits 😶 Every dollar you spend on a Free Danny shirt, now goes towards buying new locks and chains.
@@SpencerGD Good 😂😂
I'm surprised to learn that companies only sometimes lie to consumers
Well, they still have to bring their point across.
Only ever lying makes communication impossible.
"Buy now at 2300 central blvd. EMERALD CITY."
_No wait I mean Atlanta - but that would be the truth and not a lie and I have to _*_lie,_*_ agh! Why did you curse me, bald genie!_
@@JoshSweetvale did you have a stroke?
The biggest lie of all corporations:
That they actually care of their customers.
"Our employees are family".
Then why don't you pay a livable wage?
"Our customers' needs are our number one priority*"
*In as much as it affects company profits
"We Care For The Environment"
- All corporations motto/ads during Earth Day -
@@Citizen_Lynch because no one screws you over like your family.
@@First-Name_Last-Name Companies the other 364 days of the year dump that toxic waste in the harbor no ones going to notice.
I really hope Danny writes a story about some of the worst lawyers and their shifty practices and suits.
That would be a great brain blaze.
Only problem...kinda big one.....they specialize in lawsuits.
“Allegedly!!!” 🤣
Oooooooh this would be a really really good one
Hmm... I always thought lawyers, at least the ones that I engaged, wore very nice suits.
QUESTION: What do you call 50,000 lawyers on the bottom of the Ocean? Hmm?
ANSWER: A VERY GOOD START.
💬*
🐧
*[That's COLD, brother. I'm wearing the ORIGINAL Barrister's outfit!]
Coca-Cola absolutely contained cocaine back in the day. They actually still use coca leaves in their formula for for flavoring, although the active alkaloids are extracted from them beforehand for use in the pharmaceutical industry. There's only one company in the U.S. allowed by the DEA to import and process coca leaves, and years back when I worked as a welder I helped build some replacement extraction/distillation vessels for that company - which is how I found out about it.
Correct, and Coke is their only permitted non pharma customer.
"although the active alkaloids are extracted from them beforehand" what a shame :)
Sam is on top of it with the memes. He's absolutely on point with this vid.
Edit: holy shit all three are super on point for this vid not just Sam. One of my favourite BB episodes ever.
Sam's memes are even beginning to creep into the thumbnail photo.
I love it that Simon is also becoming his own vintage memes 😂
I died when he "General Kenobi"'d him.
I suspect they had unusually high levels of coke in the blazement when they made this one.
I feel like one day we can expect a Brain Blaze episode comprised entirely of various Simon clips from Blazes past to form a single semi-coherent Blaze to end all Blazes. The rate at which Simon is becoming the source of memes for his own videos is the evidence I present in this paper......
Simon ios Fact Boy he is a meme all the time like SW Episode 3.
My friend's grandmother used listerine so much that she killed all the good bacteria in her mouth and fungus started growing on her tongue. The treatment to get rid of it took months. So that part about listerine killing all the bacteria is true, but you have to overuse it. She used it literally like 10 times a day.
mebe yo friend's gramma just drank the shit
dude.
Damn
Wasn't it a furniture polish at one stage? Source: possibly another blaze... (don't judge me!)
Ah... And the floor cleaner just came up. Maybe that 🤔🤣
If magic spoon finds a way to reduce its prices I will permanently reserve a spot in my cabinet for their cereal.
Fr 39$ for 4 boxes of fuckin cereal, not gonna happen
At this point, I find it hard to listen to Simon's other channels where he uses a straight narrator voice. Am I right, Peter?!
You must have noticed then that the devision is crumbling slowly. Simon is being more an more his normal self on all his channels.
Allegedly
Jokes on you I'm into that shit!
"Allegedly."
-🎍
A. Why did the intro feel like Danny was talking about every single perfume/cologne commercial on TV.
B. Danny thank you for giving Simon an almost existential crisis making him think you were leaving....WHEN WE ALL KNOW YOURE CHAINED IN THE BASEMENT!!!
I would be interested in a video about the origins of the most popular creepypastas, if only because Simon taking the piss out of them would be great
The only way blaze boy would enjoy magic spoon any more is if it was frosted with columbian marching powder
🤣🤣👍👍
You're assuming he's not adding that himself
Columbian marching powder 😂😂😂😂😂. Fucking legend. I'm stealing this.
Uncut Magic Spoon is in same price range as the marching powder 🙂
There is always alot of talk about Simon using the Peruvian nasal fuel?
Not listerine specifically, however I was told by my dentist to use a fluoridated mouth wash after vomiting (which happens a LOT with my health issues) and it has made a huge difference to my dental health.
I had a tooth completely crumble out of my mouth before I started using fluoridated mouthwash several times a day, like I literally woke up spitting out my right molar :(
Since I started swishing with UltraDex after every puking session, I have only had some very tiny marks on my teeth (patches where the enamel is slowly eroding, but hasn’t worn through yet!). Which is so much better than crumbling teeth!
Who would have thought stomach acid&malnutrition is horrible for your teeth?
Anyways, if you puke, after you get a sip of water or take antisickness meds or whatever your routine is, use a mouthwash with fluoride and you will have fewer teeth issues.
I should do this then. I’ve been having some health issues recently and vomiting is a part of it. My teeth have started feeling fuzzy on the inner part. I’ve never had any real tooth issues before so that freaked me out quite a bit. Thanks for the tip.
That's so handy! It would have been nice to know last year when I was vomiting on the daily. But I will keep this tip in stock in case of future vomits.
It's almost like stomach acid is designed to liquefy flesh and tiny bones. :O
But yeah, it's a hell of a thing.
@@JoshSweetvale I know right? Who wouldda thunk it? Lol
Makes sense. Fluoride is nearly atomically identical to tooth enamel, so it fits like a puzzle piece in damaged teeth. It's one of the only substances that binds with our body that is stronger than what is naturally produced!
I don't buy at Amazon because it's cheaper. Often, it isn't. I just had to replace my UPS, and Amazon is not where I found the best price. I buy from them, when I do, because I can almost always find what I'm looking for there, whereas I need to shop around otherwise and maybe not find it at all. I'd happily benefit from that while paying them a little more if it meant the workers were treated ethically and they'd stop union-busting.
Of course, their net income in 2020 was over $21 billion, so they could easily afford to treat their workers ethically right now without raising prices. They just choose not to.
So now we should all send Simon various models of typewriters...that can still do the job they were created to do!
Sounds like a lovely thing to do - if you had some spare change.
Sit in a room with 100 monkeys to write his scripts?
Plot twist, Danny has finally figured out how to escape from the basement and decided to totally roast Simon in his last script. By the time Simon gets through the the script (with added tangents) Danny will have run to the nearest police station and started telling them about the mean man whose made him write millions of scripts for the thousands of TH-cam channels he has
at this point I'm convinced that Fact Boy keeps advertising magic spoon exclusively so they'll send their products to him in the Czech Republic
Simon, I feel you on the toddler swearing. Mine has the habit of shouting “Goddamnit!” every time he’s frustrated, lol. We’re working on it, but yeah, it’s a process.
My five year old cousin has started saying Sugar Honey Iced Tea in the proper contexts 😭😂 (spells out shit)
After the phrase "Oh, we're so on the same page for this one I can feel it!" an ad came up singing something like "happy sharing love", at first I thought it was Sam's genius recation😂😂😂
I remember when I first started driving, one morning my car wouldnt start. So I called mom and she told me to get a cup of coke and pour it on the connectors of the car battery (it had corrosion). I poured the liquid over the corrosion and watched as it ate away at it, clearing the connections. Then took a sip from the glass. One for the car, one for me.
My grandfather used the "original" formula as mouth rinse, there was no mint flavor. The color of the Listerine, sans mint, is piss yellow-brown.
I remember that from when I was a kid... so awful. That made me not want to use mouthwash as a kid.
Just seeing the title I’d like to start with “we offer a fair and competitive wage” for most US companies.
💯
Don't forget about that "flexible schedule "
@@michaelblaszkiewicz7283 Yeah, "flexible hours" just means we can call you in when we decide, regardless of your own plans.
They're all having to offer competitive wages now if they want any employees lol
Yeah. Like adding a few extra cents helps so much when minimum wage needs to be $21 - $25.
Children swearing was a difficult thing to deal for myself. My father-in-law bought my 2 year old son a child sized wheel barrow and shovel so he could help up spread mulch in the garden which he absolutely loved. But when he tipped the barrow and spilt the mulch in the middle of the yard, he put his hands on his hips and said clear as a bell "fa fucks sake." My father-in-law looked straight at me and asked "I wonder where he got that from?"
I could barely answer for laughing but naturally blamed the local daycare.
I would teach my kids to swear, might as well, they’ll learn it sometime (half due to society today, half because I swear like a drunken sailor), might as well teach them the social etiquette of swearing when they’re young. Either that or you’ll get called in one day because your kid started calling everyone bitches because he/she heard it from the bus driver.
@@Master_Yoda1990 or maybe just operate with self control around your child
@@americantopteam135s-t7 so you’re saying my way of parenting is wrong?
My son used a few of them a couple times. We got him to stop but then he called them daddy words and he would scold me for using them "they aren't mommy words"
As a kindergartner, let’s not forget I was in Catholic School, I was the one who taught half class and my older cousin and his best friend how to cuss😂😂😂 best accomplishment of my entire life!!
Not to mention the modern policy of selling video games where it's only available online and once the site is gone, the money spent is for nothing.
Modern games sold in physical form nowadays, with no added merchandises or extras are now known as:
Premium Legendary Platinum GOTY Pro-Gamer Collectors Limited Edition.
It's going to get worse in the future, my friend
tpb
Having long intros aren't enough for Danny anymore, now he is giving Simon an existential crisis in the intro
Yes , third. Simon more channels like this please, one for each day. Also put BB on podcast as well pls. Having great time listening to decoding the unknown and the casual criminalists.
wakefeild is an incredible monster who should be held accountable for all the deaths form every measles outbreak
At this point, Simons beard is well on the way to needing some sort of face-Sheath to keep it from catching on the mic☺️
Fear NOT! One of these days he'll get too close to an open flame and WOOSH! SCARFACE. Pubic Enemy #1.
It is a mighty beard. And well oiled.
The Beard grows. It's roots reach deeper and spread further. ALL HAIL THE BEARD!!! May the fact filled Whiskers of Whistler forever bring us wisdom and knowledge. So say we all, "allegedly."
🤣
So say we all.
Allegedly.
Whistler's beard has exceeded Persian King and reached Biker.
I like to think that Danny and Sam are really pulling the strings and have a line of bionic Simon clones recording videos for all his channels
In all fairness, being locked into an AT&T contract for an iPhone prior to an iPhone4 didn’t matter much here in the states because they only worked with the AT&T service out of the box. Even several iPhones I had (never use AT&T) were only compatible with my carrier unless you jailbreak the phone. The easy removable SIM cards on all iPhones that allow a device to be brought from one carrier to another is pretty recent. That said, AT&T customers probably didn’t understand they weren’t getting anything for free.
"Yeah, we could flesh this out to nine solid pages..." So, guessing Simon hasn't dealt with much litigation. I've seen a response to a lawsuit where a man was suing because of a "faulty" toilet seat in a casino's hotel room that went 81 pages. Nine pages is like, "Do you even legal, brah?"
A sort of "More pages equal more bullshit to give the impression of a sound legal argument rule" to use as a default way of approaching legal matters. I can see that being helpful, as long as the person still looks into the "brief" to be sure it isn't the rare long brief that happens to have merit.
These are getting better and better. Love how Blaze compounds on Blaze. Incredible.
Food pyramid came from the Department of Agriculture, one of the most thoroughly captured federal regulators.
Oh my God! Yes! We are not designed to eat that much grain. When I slipped it, and started eating far more fruit, vegetable, lean white meat, and far less green, I dropped a ton of weight.
cereal.... grain free.... something doesn't add up here. cereal by definition is grain. seems like someone here is lying to us.
If you want to name something after someone who did good things Mother Teresa down there with Harold Shipman. At least he didn’t reuse needles and gave people painkillers.
He also never said the poverty stricken deserve it. Lotta ppl forget that lil gem from the wrinkled lil hypocrite
“Pain and suffering have come into your life, but remember pain, sorrow, suffering are but the kiss of Jesus - a sign that you have come so close to Him that He can kiss you.” - Mother Theresa aka suffering is a gift from god🙄
She WHAT?! Reused needles? That's nasty.
(Then again, when did disposable syringes and medical needles first see widespread use?)
Yeah her clinics took in millions of dollars in donations and lacked anything we would consider medical necessities. She honestly believed the suffering was *good* for them. She was pretty horrible and got sainted because, "meh, Indians." She's worth a Biographics or as someone else said, Casual Criminalist episode. Or both!
@@TylerAult yes Tyler! Definitely a casual criminalist like that cult girl who became the leader and even worse than the cult already was... Theresa would fit right in, in that narrative.
I've been watching for several years and just recently found more of Simon's channels. I JUST realized who/what he reminds me of in the way he speaks. Simon Whistler even sounds like the perfect name for it, Simon reminds me of a character from Archer lol
Shady businesses?
What, like Magic Spoon charging stupid money for breakfast cereal that you can buy for half the price at any healthy food shop?
Actually a lot of organic, health food cereal at Whole Foods or Kroger’s isn’t that much cheaper, it’s stuff like Kellogg’s and General Mills cereals are $5-$6. So in reality it’s comparable to other health brands.
£2ish in UK. Check mate, USA
You know what I like first thing in the morning? Hearing a adult man eating cereal, the crunching sounds and him moaning "Mmmm". Goes great with my coffe.
My all time favourite attempt at misleading advertising was for a toothpaste that was "made with real dentists". Sadly, it was pulled after a couple of days, but I'll never forget it, or stop laughing :)
I wonder if Simon would like magic spoon if he had to pay for it? 10$ a box for 7 oz. Where as 8$ to 10$ for adult healthy cereal in a 15 oz to 18 oz box. Magic spoon is to rich for my blood 20$ for a normal size box. They have good business practice and a good product just not affordable.
Not to mention that the packaging looks like every safe, corporate art style ever. It’s revolting to look at.
And due to regulations in the US, they can claim 0 grams of sugar, while it's actually 0.9 gram.
i know what you mean, i feel the exact same way. thankfully i live in europe.
@@Ciborium You're not supposed to tell them
Exactly. I’m sure it’s good but it’s not worth it when I can drive 5 blocks away and get the the same, for cheaper, and more of it. I would’ve bought it by now but it just doesn’t make sense at the price.
I specifically got away from AT&T because of their dodgy tactics and their CEO directly insulting the intelligence of their customers.
I walked away from AT&T after they double billed for some thing that they specifically said it was not going to be billed for. They also tried to lock me into a contract after I specifically asked for a prepaid device. Absolutely not!
Androids r for people who feel they should be able to do whatever they want with their phone not only what Apple wants or allows u to do. Android forever!!!
Ah simon, going to medical school doesn’t make you a critical thinker unfortunately. Some MDs even don’t believe in vaccination or some medical conditions.
For instance I was literally told by a cardiologist that POTS (Postural Orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) is a fashionable label and not real.
A heart specialist who doesn’t “believe” in an autonomic heart condition…
That's absolutely effing terrifying 😣
Well no one knows how vaccines affect developing kids because the pharma companies don't need to collect data for more than a couple months. And they're protected from lawsuits resulting from vaccine damages. even now with the covid 'shot' (they had to change the definition of vaccine to legally call it a vaccine) the only support comes from social pressure. If anything the vaccine-skeptics have a point.
@@professortriplextralarge5 yet not a single one of you fools spreading this nonsense can prove it.
@@joehorn1762 because if anyone goes near vaccine safety research they can't get funding
@@professortriplextralarge5 and you proved that how exactly?
bad breath is much worse than farting, bad breath indicates bad hygiene , a fart just means unmannered
Imagine that, corporate company corporations making unsubstantiated claims about their products, it's a crazy idea that'll never catch on, allegedly... :P
21:58 Well it Is true. Oranges can make you fat and contirbute to tooth decay because it has loads of sugar in it. Fructose is the worst as it contributes to non alcoholic fatty liver disease. The only thing that makes orange juice better than soda (besides taste, I love OJ but rarely consume it) is that it contains a decent amount of potassium and vitamin c.
Simon, I keep forgetting how young you are and then you always remind me somehow. You'd have to buy a ribbon cartridge for those , white out things on the electric typewriters... It was cool unless you made a lot of mistakes and then you could see the faint type on the paper. I don't miss those days
8:40 - Glad to see I’m not the only one who Google Maps places. My friend thinks it’s strange and overthinking things, but if a place is bombarded with bad reviews, I ain’t going there!!
Not a lie but a runaround, which is nearly as bad.
We were in a meeting with our plant manager. Someone asked him a question. He said that it was a good question, then talked for several minutes, but never answered the question.
That was one hell of a roller coaster
Im over a year behind so not a single person is going to read this, but THIS was the magic spoon ad read that sold me. Ive seen it in my stores and ive heard Simon talking about it many times but something about this read just totally sold me
Sam needs a raise after some fire editing on this one. I was laughing my ass off
Whistler Corporation: "The basement's a joke guys; here's a joke about a place called... Rotherham... See?!"
I imagine mother Theresa's drops come with a tinge of racism.
Properbly a bit of tabasco to : "There is something beautiful in seeing the poor accept their lot, to suffer it like Christ’s Passion. The world gains much from their suffering.”
Yeah- except when it came to her own health, that shit went straight out the window. I surpose she wasnt poor, with all those donations. ALLEGEDLY.
I love that Sam now just uses Simon's bomb noise "PffOWWWWWWW" as a regular meme
Whenever Danny does quit I need it to be in a script.
I have recently gone back to school to finish my undergrad degree in business. Now that you mention that you have an undergrad degree also. I fear for my future
I kinda like what one of my friends does, he calls it the "gay tax" because it started with Chick-fil-A and he is a gay man, so when he buys from them he donates the same amount or more to a group like the Trevor project. He does this for whatever crappy company he gives money to in a sorta karma juggling trick.
Most of my LGBT friends love Chick-fil-A and they make the funniest jokes about having to make up for it morally and it’s always hilarious what they come up with. I’ve never been so I can’t say if their food is good or not. Lol.
@@HyperWolf the gay tax sounds like a simple solution for them 😂
Personally tastes too artificial to me 🤷 it's ok food I guess
@@foxhoundp9949 I don’t really eat fast food very often but people who do always talk chick-fil-a up to the point that I’ve started to wonder if they’re being paid. 😂 Interesting to hear from someone who doesn’t like it.
I've just never eaten them, its pretty easy keeping my moral balance that way.
Not everyone has money to burn.
The Detroit River empties into Lake Erie which, via the Niagara River, flows over the falls...
people not in the us: just have a central authority and report it to them, ez
people in the us: central authorities?!?!?!!?!? nah we'd much rather have our lawsuits.
Fantastic 3 minute story Simon. I enjoyed your succinct and efficient delivery as usual.
Most things are cheaper at Walmart than Amazon, but the catch is you have to go to Walmart
When he said "cinnamon is the second best flavour, in my opinion" I expected him to say "allegedly" too 🤣
Starting to seem like business blaze is a suiting name for the channel
Nine minutes in; I had to look at the title, again, to get where this was going. It was the best laugh of the day.
My grandma had a "top shelf" computer and printer back in the early to mid 90's. It was the coolest thing ever as a little kid. I got my first computer at my own home in 2000, and it was over $1000 and it wasn't even good. Dude I got a Dell
We all did bro 😂😂
Dell… That is not for business… Suck ass now.
Is there anyone else here who immediately write a comment about Magic Spoon, then scrolls through looking for other Magic Spoon comments while listening to the ad read on Magic Spoon? ......at least I'm not the only one. Magic Spoon is always one of his top (if not THE TOP) best ad reads. Cinnamon and Fruity are my favorite flavors.
Sam’s meme game just get better with every video
"You can't bribe poor people into getting into a contract they can't afford"... You literally just described capitalism as a whole, or at least its current incarnation.
I dont think farts have putrecine as a chemical component, but i know bad breath smell does. Thats the chem known for being a major component of rotting flesh smell.
38:10 You will find more Vitamin C in instant Pizza than in most Salads, since its used as preservative called ascorbic acid ;)
There are Christian hospitals, clinics and charities BECAUSE they are often funded by Christian organisations and some of them staffed by Nuns, Monks and other religious lay people as part of their mission/for free.
In places like the USA, medicine can be very very expensive. People who will dedicate their lives to free clinics are actually… good people. Giving them crap for the beliefs that inspire them to do that (whilst you get paid to TH-cam) is bollocks Simon.
If freaking Harry Potter societies start doing that stuff, then there can be Harry Potter hospitals 🤷🏻♂️
Right! Simon has spoken before about the good works of people like Mother Teresa and Gandhi. Yet he is more than willing to rubbish their beliefs as crazy fairytales
Well, I'm going to put my money on Mother Teresa and Gandhi, who changed the world with their selflessness, rather than an atheist TH-camr, even if he is reasonably more hilarious.
A true statement somewhat undercut by the "Christian " organization in this episode making a fortune off of a fraudulent cancer cure.
12:10 PLOT TWIST: You're not a Capitalist if you don't believe in exploiting vulnerable people for all their worth.
As a landlord I find it funny that my tenants usually have nicer phones, TVs, and cars than I do. And higher monthly payments. I may have a 32" TV and a 7 year old phone, but I own their house...
There is a reason this is a repeating pattern.
Yup.
I don't have debt and keep it that way.
I also don't have a house. Or a car. Or expensive clothes. Or a TV. Or foreign holidays.
I do have a phone, but 3 phones in 20 years is a good rate. And a big computer, that also earns its keep.
And I'm blissfully happy.
Debt is *reckless.* Moronically reckless.
I was part of the class action lawsuit against AT&T for this very practice you detailed here. That was years ago. Well guess what showed up today? An actual settlement check.
Holy cow! Real Money’
A stunning $9.01
I guess the beers are on you this Christmas party!
@@americantopteam135s-t7 if the food pantry has it you’ll get a taste.
You see Simon, Android might be for poor people but Apple is for stupid people.
(Andriod gang rise up)
Eh, cults rise up.
Android is the normal.
That was a great Blaze, Fact Boi. Thanks to all three of you.
Funnily enough, you could do a Casual Criminalist episode on Mother Theresa. The shit she did was that fucked up.
Yep she was one nasty piece of work
He mentioned her and down to the comments I went
🤣🤣🤣🤣 "Oh, it is about me." 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Best realization on any of Simon's channels, ever.
Simon got me to boycott Nestle and Amazon.
9:55 - Chapter 1 - Don't believe me ? It's the truth !
16:20 - Chapter 2 - Coke ? Bust !
24:35 - Chapter 3 - Dark arts in Detroit
32:20 - Chapter 4 - Hogwash
- Chapter 5 -
- Chapter 6 -
Hmmm... interesting Simon 'left out' cocaine when listing off drugs not to do. Guess it just slipped his mind.
I don't know how you improve perfection Sam since your memes are already perfect... But ya do...
Damn, if I was any earlier Whistle boy would still have hair
If there is anyone out there that thinks injecting Listerine into your eye will prevent covid, please post the video of the aftereffects, I'd love to watch it.
"I like capitalism, I just don't like [distinctly capitalistic thing]."
[distinctly libertarian thing]*
@@OtakuUnitedStudio 'Those aren't a part of our group, they're that other group'
If it doesn't work for Sikhs it won't work for political subgroups.
In the eyes of some sure but... Humourless pendantry attack: Simon is right.
Capitalism does not (necessarily) equal zero laws/regulation. In fact many "capitalist" societies invented regulations on trade long before the term was even coined 👍. Capitalism doesn't even necessitate the use of loans involving interest/ usury. So. Laughing a bit but. No. #noteverycapialism 🤔😋
@@tttm99 Capitalism and democracy aren't the same thing. One can exist without the other.
I have an Uncle who has been denouncing Walmart for 20 years. Says he wants us to join his Boycott. His cupboard is full of Walmart store food. He is just being a poser, like how he is a giant Environmentalist always complaining about my small pickup having a bigger Carbon Footprint than his Prius, but takes vacations to exotic locations by commercial airliners 4 or 5 times a year. His Footprint has got to be at least 5 times mine.
"Carbon footprint is made up by oil companies to take them off the carbon hook.
I don't shop Amazon...
Because the competitor has a better local distribution network.
No moral reason. :D
I used to work at a gas station by an Amazon center and the drivers would toss bottles of pee in our trash.
I use to believe an incredible lie.
That CNN was the most trusted name in news!😱
“Please don’t inject it into your eyeballs to prevent covid-19” 🤣🤣🤣 made me laugh so hard! Danny, I love your wit!
Funny wnough Coca-Cola is one of the only non-medical companies to have acess to cocoa leaves. They use the spent leaves in.the recipe. I dont know it affects the taste, but it is still an igredient.
According to cursory googling, the original recipe which called for whole coca leaves, did in fact get a lot of its flavor from said coca leaves. Upon research showing that cocaine from coca leaves is technically dangerous, they opted to swap out for spent coca leaves, meaning the cocaine is gone, but the flavor isn't. So, yes it does apparently affect the taste, but said taste has been the same since 1904.
Also, apparently the company that imports the coca plant for processing is the only company legally allowed to process and import it in the entire US. Makes you wonder if there are other companies who use spent coca leaves without a medical reason, but aren't required to say so.
Coca*, important difference. lol
But it does affect the flavor. Every once in a while, I get a bottle that tastes just a bit too much like lawn clippings because they used too much. Most of the time, though, it gives a slight earthy undertone that most other colas lack.
@@OtakuUnitedStudio Thanks I was using a crappy phone with a horrible auto correct, and yeah I just wanted to point out they still do put coca in, just not with the drug.
@@ShadowReignhart I don't think so. I think its mostly just medial use for the one company that uses it, and for coca cola. COcaine has very few uses that are medically accepted.
You say its weird to name something after another person for marketing but that's literally what Tesla is
Still can't tell if "I'm a capitalist" is ironic/sarcastic, or if Simon doesn't know what "capitalist" means.
🤔 Capitalism doesn't (necessarily) mean zero regulation "sell-your-granny-for-a dollar" mercantilism. Your capitalism may vary. Or... not. His understanding seems far better then most frankly. Unless of course there are zero capitalist nations on earth...
For a second there, I thought Danny was putting in his two weeks notice and breaking out of his basement chains 🤣😂
I have some bad news about Mother Teresa.
Watchung Simon everyday has become a must